My Sea Monkeys are dying

Why do people keep coming here? (Or, how many times can I say "Sea Monkeys" in one post?)

2011-02-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been around for a while (again) despite previous promises. Anyway, I checked in today only to find that people still come here. My only explanation is that people REALLY like Sea Monkeys... and my blog title references Sea Monkeys. I don't even have Sea Monkeys anymore... The whole community I had going died after a particularly nasty civil war they had going on. A very nasty time which shall henceforth be referred as The Great Sea Monkey Massacre. So anyways, I'm still looking for a non-Sea Monkey related job, playing non-Sea Monkey related games. I decided to play more Fallout 3 again (whick kind of includes Sea Monkeys... Only bigger and not Sea Monkeys). Still not got a Kinect yet (due to the no job thing), and got a couple of butt loads of new Transformers. So anyway, untill I next remember I have a blog, TAKE CARE!!!

P.s It was 7. I'm kind of dissappointed with myself. SEA MONKEYS! 8. That's beter.

Oh, and some ither random shit!!!

2010-11-24T14:59:00.000-08:00

Yeah! I got some new crap too (nothing you haven't seen on youtube abillion times by now but still... ) and I'll show it soon... Maybe tomorrow, maybe 4 months from now, but I will show you!

Oop's i did it again

2010-11-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

So yea, I did do it again. I left whoever the fuck keeps turning up to this train wreck of a blog, all alone and defenceless... BUT! T'was not my fault. Again, i've been going through some things (Alcoholism, Xbox, Broken finger) and I totally plan on getting back on top of hings. I promise I'll start tomorrow with pictures of the pins They put in my finger (wich I'l talk aout tommorrow, guess who's drunk XD right now XD ).

I'm Back! (for now).

2010-05-10T02:09:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been around for a while, that's mostly due to work and alcohol related drunkeness. I've found that there's a direct correlation between the hours of work you do compared to the monetary payoff that generally increases the amount of alcohol consumed per day. And if that makes sense to you then either I'm sober, or you're drunk, in which case... Toss one over here!

I cried, real honest to god, happiness tears of geek joy.

2010-03-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

I've watched this at least 5 times. Each time I have been moved to tears by the sheer epicness of this video. One more time (last time I promise)... *sniff* it's sooo... good.

Hate golf?

2010-02-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so does this dude. He's probably not to keen on football either. He also hates damp grass, gravity and kittehs. You know what he hates most? YOU! He told me, now watch the gif again and laugh extra hard. I'm thinking he could make his name in slapstick comedy, He's a natural. Think about it, twirly ballet style swing? Check. Stupid bitchy throw? Check. Hilariously inept kick followed by awesome fall? That's a big 10-4!

What the heck is in her water supply?

2010-02-22T04:03:00.000-08:00

Rainbows! Near the ground? Holy shit, somebody call a scientician!

Yeah, I know it's another old one but I feel this video should be preserved for furure generations.

The snow returns

2010-02-22T03:46:00.000-08:00

It snowed. Snow is bad when you work outdoors. Here's a picture symbolising why snow is bad.

See, the dinosaur skull represents my job, and the snow symbolises... well, snow. Because the dinosaur.. and it's dead, in snow. I was never any good at metaphors. Went to work as usual knowing that it would be a waste of time, even though the job's an hours travel from here. We got there, sat around for an hour and came home. Three hours of my day wasted. On a plus side I had the most scrummy sausage cob from a nice little café in Newark.

Back to business

2010-02-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I've not been around for a few days, that's because my computer was buried under a pile of shit while the Electricians made a mess of my house. Apparrently my wiring was "old and unsafe" so the council took it upon themselves to ensure I had one hell of a shit week. I had to take carpets up, put everything in the middle of rooms and pack all my awesome things into boxes (and I just know they're gonna be in there for a while, I can't be bothered to unpack them). So now they've done all their updating and I'm left with plastic casing going up and down almost every wall because they could'nt be bothered to cut into the walls and inexplicable placings of wall sockets. I only wish I'd have been home to ask them if they knew what the fuck they were doing. Oh, and don't get me started on their patching. AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! *normal servie will resume shortly*

Another Sonic post (sorry)

2010-02-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

I was just about to hit the hay and realised that the Sonic and Sega allstars racing demo had finished downloading so I decided to have a quick go and y'know see if it was better than that "other Kart racing game". So I started it up, as you do, and picked one of the two available characters (I'll get to that later). The first thing I noticed were the graphics, the level I played looked gorgeous and instantly identifiable as a Sonic-y level. The lights went green and I sped of across the beach and drifted through a power up, it was only the FUCKING CHAOS EMERALDS!!! I hit the button and wasn't really surprised when Sonic turned super but I was very happy. Then I got hit from behind by that cunting monkey Amigo, but his uppance came when I got him back with a rocket. Round the loop I went, trying to get a good look at the scenery whilst simultaneously trying not to drive off the edge of the track. anyway, I came last. Billy Hatcher won. Billy and I go back a long way so I wasn't angry. In fact, it was only then that I became aware of the huge grin on my face. I was probably grinning like a tart the whole way through. The game is a total fanwank, I fucking love it, and that's just one level. There's a house of the dead level... I mean track. A Jet set/grind Radio track, a shit load of Sonic tracks (makes sense seeing as the levels in most Sonic games could make good race tracks) and... many more... I forget which others. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that other playable characters. Technically it's two. Banjo and Kazooie. I mean why? I'm sure I'm not alone and I fucking hate those characters. Hopefully they're the only none Sega characters in the finished game. My only other gripe so far is that annoying ass announcer, I do hope we can mute his stupid comments. And before anyone else asks "But why does sonic need a car?", it's to make it fair Ok? everyone knows Sonic would leave everyone eating his dust if he was running. Which is why I hate Mario and Sonic at ANY of the olympic games. Luckily this game comes out around my birthday so I'm going to get two copies. One to play and one to sleep with (under my pillow Ok? God, I'm not a pervert).
P.S IT'S BETTER THAN MARIO KART!!!!!!!!!

Unauthorised Absence (or "holy shit I think I'm dying")

2010-02-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

What a shit week. I started sneezing on monday, no biggy I like sneezing, by tuesday I was suffering with the worst cold ever known to man. It was so severe I upgraded it to flumonia. What didn't help was that I work outside in the freezing fucking cold wth no way to get warm. The heater in our work van is fucked and not even three pairs of socks would warm my toes up. It's been a miserable week, coming home and going to bed then getting up in the morning feeling like a bukake victim. Seriously, the shit that was coming out of my nose is undescribeable (It was actually just snot which is pretty easy to describe but sounds nowhere near as dramatic). I'm starting to feel a bit better now, hopefully I'll be all fixed up for friday, I hate the thought of not being able to drink on the weekend *shudder*. So for the two or three people that might stumble across my blog, thats the reason I haven't updated since tuesday, and that was a mighty struggle let me tell you. By way of apology please accept that sneezing baby panda vid you've seen a billion times before and I'll get back to the good, or at least better stuff next week.

First actual post related to blog title (which was actually just a bunch of words cobbled together and has no actual influence on content)

2010-02-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

Wanna see something cute and playfull? Wanna see a Sea Monkey? How about a pregnant Sea Monkey? How about a pregnant Sea Monkey that appears to be drinking? How about, a pregnant Sea Monkey that appears to be drinking and has a mans face?! Ok, here you go. On a side note, I do think it's a well made (and truly terrifying)costume.

I'm aware it's an old pic but this is my blog so nur nur.

Shock(wave) and Awe.

2010-02-09T12:32:00.001-08:00

Yeah baby! Here's shockwave as he appears in the upcoming War for Cybertron game. I reckon he looks fuckin' sweet, and wouldn't look out of place in the third Transformers movie (Quick, start a petition!).
Also, I found a pretty fun kinda related vid by some dude going by the name of DrSMOOV.

Fuck!!! YES!!!! Project Needlemouse truth revealed (officially)

2010-02-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

Sega does love us! Sonic 4, Xbox arcade,summer 2010. That's all I'm saying *squeels with excitement and passes out*.

"Day off"

2010-02-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

No mega-awesome (or even moderately adequate) blog tonight. I have to sort out the cupboard where I store my hoard of completely useless shit.

New SEGA console!!!!!!!!

2010-02-03T11:55:00.001-08:00

Yeah, my heart broke too when I saw that. Sega have licensed out a few games to those Zone 40 guys who make that cheesy rip off Wii. It comes with 2 motion sensitive controllers, that must be sensitive to motion or something? This is all brand new technology to me. It comes preloaded with 50 games (about 46 of which you'll have already played to death). On the upside it might be kinda fun to play Ecco with motion controll, on the downside... what's the point? Acording to some sources the thing has a cart slot to play all your old megadrive games, handy for anyone who has a shitload of games but no megadrive to play them on (so that'll be... no one). I'm gonna hate myself but I know for sure I'm gonna end up with one of these fucking monstrosoties A; because I'll buy anything with a Sega logo stamped on it and B; because I can't keep away from Sonic's cheesy litle grin. It's like he know's I'm gonna buy it and he's laughing at me. The rotten bastard!
They're out in the summer and cost aboot £40, You'll find 'em clogging up bargain store shelves by autumn.

So hungry I could eat a baby cow.

2010-02-02T09:58:00.000-08:00

Feel like you've not eaten for a month? Then why not try this?! Dubbed "The widowmaker" this dainty snack consists of 1.5 lbs of ground beef, a pack of bacon, one pack of italian sausage, one box of hot pockets and half a pound of fried onion strips between 2 large Pepperoni Pizzas and topped with Velveta Cheese and Marinara Sauce. That thing could cure world hunger on it's own. I could totally devour one of these by myself but I don't like onions so I'm just gonna eat a box of pop tarts covered in icecream and sprinkled with bacon bits. Yummers.
For this and more, um... questionable foods/ delicious recipes hit This is why you're fat

Let your prayers be answered.

2010-02-02T05:04:00.000-08:00

So anyone still waiting for Jesus' second coming? Sorry but you missed it. He's already here, on the intertubes!!! Ask Jesus your questions or prayers and they will be answered. Oh yeah, I forgot to metion, He's probably hung over and he FUCKING HATES YOU! If you still want advice you can message jesus here!

The Legend, The Man.

2010-02-02T03:43:00.000-08:00

Here's the part where my incredible nerdy love for Sega comes out. I've tried hiding it (Not very well, I'm wearing a fucking Sonic t-shirt as I type this), I've tried growing out of it (Again, not very well. The chances of me growing out of anything are incredibly slim *glances over to the Optimus Prime toy sat on the desk*) and the only thing left to do is embrace it. Anywho, long boring story about Sega and the Sega communities efforts to get onto the trending topic list on twitter short (We failed), Sega thanked us anyway by reminding us how awesome they used to be.I present to you Segata Sanshiro!

He's a Judo master right? And he trains with a Giant Sega Saturn on his back and breaks N64 carts with his face! How could any Sega nerd not love this guy. What's that? Who the fuck is Chuck Norris?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going out to puch a Playstation.

Digging a trench... WITH BULLETS.

2010-02-02T03:22:00.000-08:00

I've been spending alot of time on the Bad Company 2 Demo on Xbox Live and been doing pretty well with it. The full games gonna be fun on a bun. The main reason I'm into this game more than say... ooh, modern combat 2, is because it's so much more than just run and gun. Take these three for example. Tired of being hammered by the other team, they decided to take time out and tried to dig a trench with bullets. They might not have been, but that's the best explanation I could come up with.

I never figured out what they where really doing, I got bored of watching and noticed the UAV was unmanned, so I skipped off in its direction... Because I love me some remote controlled death-from-above helicopter fun.

First things first

2010-02-02T03:16:00.000-08:00

So this isn't really news, I'm just damn excited about it. I have a few weeks work starting tomorrow! Man, it's gonna be good. Not good in the "yay" kinda way, but good in the "thank fuck I'll finally have some money coming in" kinda way. Gotta get these old bones moving, I'm starting to rust. I'll let you know how my first day goes tomorrow. Oh yeah... Early mornings... Boooo!

Not impressive...

2010-01-29T02:57:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I was hoping for at least an hour. And I was never asked about my conversational skills. I could so bore that Stabby little bastard back to extinction with my mastery of "um... yeah, so... wow, these chains are pretty... Y'know... metally".

Quiz by Oatmeal

Dinosaurs true colous revealed

2010-01-28T18:15:00.000-08:00

And they're white, black and ginger. Scientists from a science lab someplace (University of Bristol, UK, the Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology and Paleoanthropology (IVPP) in Beijing, University College Dublin and the Open University if you absolutely must know) have identified two melanosomes in fossilised proto-feathers. They also go on to say some rather predictable stuff. You know what this means though right? I can finally colour in my dinosaur drawings from Primary school!

science Daily

Battlefield: Bad company 2 is going to be AWESOME!

2010-01-28T16:21:00.000-08:00

So I've had a few hours on Battlefield: Bad company 2 and I think it's pretty good. Ok, more than pretty good, I'm just trying not to get too over excited. There's only one level on the demo and it's set in some kind of arctic oil refinery or something, I'm probably wrong (I usually am) but there are pipes and the sea and stuff. Anyway, to cut a long boring ramble short, it's the same as Battlefield: Bad company. BUT BETTER! In every way, the controls have been jiggled a bit, the Medic class has awesome new resurrection skills (I know we've seen that somewhere before), the sniper rifles seem a bit more powerfull and the scenery distruction is beautiful. Damn, I can't wait for the full copy. And yeah, I think it's gonna be way better that COD:MW2. I got that game on release and while all my mates were reaching level 40 and higher I was... I don't even remember what I was doing but it sure as hell wasn't playing that. I'm not saying it's a bad game, I'm just saying it's not an amazing game, but I think we'll save that rant for another time. 2nd march sound good? Ok then.

Battlefield: Bad company 2 demo on XBL!

2010-01-28T08:46:00.000-08:00

Oh my god, I nearly freaked out when I saw this as I'm a MASSIVE Battlefield fan. The original Bad Company was one of my favourite games of all time and as far as I was concerned, out-did COD in everyway. The style of play in Battlefield games is much more, um... Cerebral? Than the run and shoot nature of Call of Duty. I'm dying to play it, I just checked and it's only 46% downloaded. Damn. I'll type up what I think later if I can tear myself away =)

(And yes, I'm quite aware that's the Pc case up there. I couldn't just sit around looking for an Xbox one, I'm too damn excited!!)