My Second Wish

Rodney King In Over His Head

2012-06-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

1992:

Rodney King was on parole for robbery and driving drunk. He wouldn't
pull over because he knew he'd get a DUI and go to jail. The police chased him with multiple cars and a helicopter for miles before they
finally cornered him.

After ordering King and his two buddies to get out of the car and lie down on the ground, his friends did exactly that and were arrested without incident. Dumbass Mr. King, on the other hand, decided to have a total mental breakdown (probably because he knew he was going to jail for a long time). After acting like a nutball and nearly getting himself shot when it looked like he was reaching for a gun, King got down on the ground, but then started fighting the police when they moved in to cuff him (they hadn't landed a single blow to him at this point). He punched one cop in the chest and threw two other guys off of him. At this point, they thought he was on PCP, so they backed off.

What cops think of the PCP calls: They are the scariest ones. Dudes break their handcuffs. Dudes get shot 10 times and keep coming at you because they don't know they're dead yet. Dudes kill cops.

King refuses to cooperate and gets his ass tased. That doesn't stop him.

At this point, he's fought off three grown men and a taser hasn't stopped him. It's natural to assume he's on something, and they have no idea if he's armed. They then beat his ass with batons in an attempt to subdue him. It doesn't work. Dude keeps getting up. So he got beat until he couldn't get up anymore.

I'd say the officers were a little out of line, for sure. And the riots were probably a long time coming. The LAPD had bigger issues with the public (and still does) that really led to the Rodney King Riots - this scumbag just happened to be the match that lit the fire. It's too bad the people who'd finally had enough didn't get a more deserving martyr.

Maybe I should’ve learned how to swim, Whitney Houston

Yes everyone saw all the symbolism on TV when they were looting and killing and burning, stealing TV's and DVD players while yelling "Rodney King, and Dr. King," while stealing and burning and beating people, but I'm sure they didn't do it for personal gain... I'm sure they gave all the loot to the poor in his name. It was all to protest, not to gain anything, that's why all the looting right? Right?

Relevant.

Dear Abby: Where Are All the Single Men?

2012-05-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

Where the boys are

DEAR ABBY: My friends and I are women in our late 40s and early 50s. Some of us are married, some are single. Individually or as a group we have taken classes, volunteered, gone on cruises, gone to clubs and bars -- you name it.

We have noticed that nearly everyone at these activities is either female or with a female as part of a couple. There are loads of single middle-aged women out there joining things and having fun, but there seem to be almost no single middle-aged men. Friends in various parts of the country report the same thing.

Where do the single men go? They rarely go out alone or with a male buddy. Our running joke is they're all home watching bad cable TV.

Middle-aged guys must be there somewhere, but where? You'd think that if they wanted to meet women, they'd go where women are, but we rarely see them. Can you solve this mystery for us? -- WHERE THE BOYS AREN'T, NORTHERN WYOMING

Can’t find a man, really?

Abby gave some answer about how men are intimidated by large groups of women and will rarely approach them. And that if you want to meet men, why not try online. Good answers by a seasoned columnist. But they don't reach the nucleus of the problem.

So if it's okay with you Abby, I'll take this one.

In a few words: women spend all their lives keeping their friends and chasing his all off. Now they're divorced and out clubbing, but the men have had enough of women's games and are quietly enjoying simple lives. Don't blame the men. You made them so.

Good luck out there.

Worse Than Casey Anthony? Baby Raping Mother Gets Two Life Terms

2012-05-22T22:38:00.001-07:00

Worse than Casey Anthony? Tessa L. Vanvlerah

Tessa L. Vanvlerah was sentenced on April 30, 2012 to two consecutive life terms in prison for prostituting her then-five-month-old daughter to California State East Bay professor Kenneth L. Kyle. Kyle would travel to Ballwin, Missouri from San Francisco and while staying in different hotels, Kyle and Vanvlerah would rape the baby while taking pictures and videos. That’s child pornography, for the uninitiated. Vanvlerah, not to be left out, allowed Kyle to choke her, burn her and urinate on her during their visits.

Meet your new neighbors

Unsurprisingly, Vanvlerah's attorneys argued for probation, stating that this Mother of the Year had a psychological condition called dependent-personality disorder and would be at risk in prison to fall under the spells of the stronger personalities. The judge either disagreed or didn’t care. Meanwhile, her daughter, who is now 3 years old, has been adopted by her foster family and her new mom says she still has night terrors, but she doesn't scream anymore when someone gives her a bath or changes her diaper.

Other POS Kyle

A little about the other POS, Professor Kyle: According to Kyle's faculty bio, his "teaching and research interests revolve around the application of critical theories such as Critical Literary Theory, Feminism(s), Frankfurt School Critical Theory, Marxism, etc., to specific social problems and public policies."

Yech. Ever thought that your college professor was just a stuffed shirt spewing finely tuned jargon to confuse people into thinking he was smart? Well, enter Kyle the baby raping poster boy.

Kyle was arrested after returning to the Bay Area from Austria after an FBI operation tracking file-sharing of photos depicting children being sexually abused purportedly pinpointed the professor's home.

Dinner is served

Admittedly, the prof wanted Vanvlerah to also engage in bestiality, but that’s where she drew the line. I mean, come on! The prof’s first book, Contextualizing Homelessness: Critical Theory, Homelessness, and Federal Policy Addressing the Homeless, is poised now to reach number one on the New York Times bestseller list.

Not really. Nobody wanted to read that crud in the first place, and they sure don’t now. Look for that particular title in the list of ironies, as Kyle and his child raping pal will spend a long time now not being homeless in Federal prison. He, 37 years; she, 2 life terms. Bye-bye, assholes.

Here’s hoping their food is vile and laced with things only a prison population can produce.

Trayvon Martin Rises From the Dead

2012-04-11T20:31:00.004-07:00

Trayvon with bag of Skittles and Iced Tea

Ah, Justice in America. Glue together enough big mouths and busybodies, Liberal Arts professors, guilty white bored housewives, spray with interventional uh, ahem, “coverage” by the Media, and like magic- viola! Charges are filed so we can continue another long national descent into madness.

Divide and conquer, Baby!

Was Zimmerman within the law? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Neither were you, your English teacher, some San Francisco hoodie wearing artist, Obama, Al Sharpton or his annoying ambulance chasing spawn JJ.

But that doesn’t change the fact that we all know what happened that night, does it. We listened to the 911 tapes, and with our practiced, unbiased ears, we heard screams and instantly knew, not ever having met either of the parties involved, who was saying what, who was on top, who started it and who was winning the fight. And after NBC admitted to doctoring the tapes, it didn’t matter because we knew what we heard anyway.

Follow me. Do what I say.

The story is disturbing on many levels. Yes, yes I know, a teenager was killed, I heard that one. Happens every day here in America, sometimes twice. What is worse however, is what it does to our already decayed and broken moral fabric. OJ murdered his ex-wife in 1994 and thousands cheered following his acquittal. Habitual loser Rodney King’s police assailants were at first freed, then two of four sent to prison by an America quick to bend over for Mob votes. What happened in each case, of course, was Mob justice brought on by racist ideals. Send the cops to jail or else, and when that didn’t happen, riots. Three years later, fearing another lesson in racist politics, the clown circus that was the OJ trial ended with a murderer walking free.

Oh, by the way, I wasn’t there, and neither were you. But the difference is, there was witness testimony and a prior conviction for robbery in King’s case; with OJ there was a mountain of blood and DNA evidence but not enough to slow a slick lawyer. So I formed my opinions, and an opinion is what I give here.

Make my opinions your own, my students…

Zimmerman may well have been within the law for killing Trayvon. Without witnesses, and with nothing but unclear 911 tapes and a muddled initial investigation, we’ll never really know. He has to be exonerated based on the law as it is written. When that happens, let’s hope that we act like adults, huh? Casey Anthony murdered her baby and walked free. Do we tweet her address to get her killed? No, we just walked around pissed off, and rightly so.

Given the nature of the Mob though, expect riots, looting, and burning cars. Because nothing brings fair change to America like torching the neighborhood.

A photo history of stupidity:

Media Portrayal of Trayvon and Zimmerman:

Actual Photos of Trayvon:

Wait, wait… This is NBC right? No? Let’s try again. Actual photos of Trayvon:

Trayvon on the night in question:

Trayvon gonna get you some Skittles

Whoa! There I go again, joking in a serious situation. But when something becomes a circus, the clowns come a-callin’. Witness these idiots…

I had some Skittles but I eated them

Next, please

Dance hall gals afraid to show their faces

Question: does Skittle and Arizona Iced Tea stock go up or down now?

Your elected officials pandering for votes:

Sheriff of Skittletown

And when a red herring drops in your lap…

If I had a son, he wouldn’t ask me about high gas prices or the failed economy

White Guilt:

Or, how to get upset over stuff that really doesn’t concern me but I want to show everyone how enlightened I am...

Old white guys also have no job and a lot of time on their hands

Protestors:

Damn, girl! Whatever it is you want, I’ll do it!

How many pounds of pork fat can we shove into a rainbow colored outfit? The answer below…

I’m a sexy girl in a sexy world

Politically Correct Eye Bleach, Please, and Stat

Thanks for the Cuban, Mr Jackson

A waste of cash:

You know who else could use footballs and teddy bears? Living kids. Kids in the hospital, kids with cancer. Homeless kids.

A waste of life:

The original hoodie man

The humanitarian side of the issue: racist name calling and bounty for murder. Hey as long as we get our way and make a few bucks, right?

This girl is a little upset over what she perceives as unfair and inequitable treatment under the law. She provides a thought provoking argument, but I fail to see her side of the story. That, or she’s batshit crazy.

7 men in hoodies assisting a citizen with his groceries. Psych! It’s a home invasion caught on security cam, and yes, they were wearing your innocent, artsy little hoodies.

So, to sum up:

Because anything else is just kind of stupid.

Doggie's First Haircut

2012-03-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

Those who would abandon a companion animal are forever banned from describing themselves as Human.

Dogs. End of Story.

2012-03-07T02:07:00.000-08:00

Deformed puppy, rescued

from trash, learns to walk

Outside the dollar store was a man selling pit bull pups for 50 bucks each. A woman noticed a garbage bag he was holding that had noise coming from it, and she insisted on seeing what was in the bag. Inside, as veterinarians later discovered, was a puppy so deformed the only logical thing would be to put it to sleep.

Word to the wise: get a

second opinion

However, one regular at the local animal shelter decided to bring the pup home for one final day, so that it may feel one day of pure love and affection. She massaged the dog’s legs, and within a few hours it was trying to pull itself around. The date with the executioner was canceled, and this determined dog went instead to a veterinarian at the University of Florida.

Dogs don’t quit. People do. But not all...

Angels at HipDog Canine Hydrotherapy & Fitness donated therapy to the committed pup to bring him back to the world of the living. Today, weeks after being tossed into a trash bag by a heartless, evil, soulless punk, this champ runs and plays with other dogs and maybe- will be up for adoption soon. If, that is, her rescuer can bear to part with her.

Full story here, until of course, the link is lost…

Warning: link contains graphic images.

If you don't speak Portuguese, the captions are of a best friend loyal to the end. At the end of the video is a plea to adopt stray animals. The story furnished at the site by the police journalist is that the murder victim got into an argument at an Internet Café over drugs and was killed in the street. The murderer was 10 years old. The dog returned to the family and so was not homeless, however, he did lose his best friend.

A Dog’s Last

Will and Testament

On a brighter note:

The Bark Side.

Ok Go, with Friends.

Ok Go's friends, it should be noted, are rescue dogs.

The Animal Rescue Site.

Free Kibble for homeless dogs and cats.

Adopt an orphaned pet. It'll make your heart glad.

Lucas and Juno: a Sick Boy and his Rescue Dog

2012-02-27T07:32:00.000-08:00


Credit: Courtesy of the Hembree family. Lucas and his best friend, Juno.

Original story here, by Michelle Leifer, Vetstreet.com

As nearly anyone who has adopted a dog or cat from a shelter can attest, there’s something special about a rescued pet; it’s as if the animal senses he’s been given a second chance at life. That’s certainly the case with Juno, a Belgian Malinois who was rescued from a shelter just days before she was to be euthanized. But since coming to live with her family in Alcoa, Tenn., Juno has taken on the role of rescuer to four-year-old Lucas Hembree.Lucas suffers from Sanfilippo syndrome, an inherited, metabolic disease caused by the absence or malfunctioning of an enzyme needed to break down long sugar molecules. As the disease progresses, children lose the ability to speak, walk and eat. The disease also causes severe neurological damage that leads to aggressive behavior, hyperactivity and seizures.

Credit: Courtesy of the Hembree family. Juno helps to keep Lucas calm

.“The most catastrophic thing parents hear when they learn their child has this disease is that there’s no cure or treatment available,” says Lucas’ father, Chester.Unless that changes, Lucas isn’t expected to live past the age of 15 and may be in a vegetative state by the time he is eight. Realizing that every moment is extra precious, Chester and his wife, Jennifer, want their son to experience as much as he can while he still has the capacity to enjoy it.So when the disease started to take a toll on Lucas’ joints, Chester looked into getting a service dog to keep Lucas steady when he walked. “I was told that a service dog would cost at least $15,000, and that Lucas wasn’t a good candidate because of his deteriorating abilities and his behavior,” Chester says. “I refused to accept this answer.”A combination of prayer and persistence led Chester to Juno. “I came across a posting about her on a rescue group’s website,” he says. “I had the feeling in my gut that I had to go see this dog.”The whole family made the two-hour trip to meet Juno, who was being held at an east Tennessee shelter. “She was emaciated, and was days away from being euthanized,” Chester says. “She had been surrendered to the shelter because her previous owners didn’t understand the Belgian Malinois."

Credit: Courtesy of the Hembree family. Lucas' dad, Chester, knew Juno was a special dog right from the start.

Fortunately, Chester did. He’d gotten to know and love the breed while working as a law enforcement officer years earlier. “I used to help with the training of police K-9s, and our dogs were Belgian Malinoises,” he says. “I loved their desire to work and their ‘never quit’ attitude.” In addition to being a popular choice for police dogs, the breed is often used in combat. In fact, it’s believed that the dog that helped Navy SEALs take down Osama bin Laden was a Belgian Malinois.But while the breed has proven its prowess on patrol and in combat, Chester needed to be sure Juno would be a suitable service dog for his little boy. “I put her on a loose leash and she walked with me and never pulled,” Chester says. “Next came the Lucas test. They took to each other immediately, like kindred spirits.”The Hembrees brought Juno home and showered her with love and affection. “I wanted to make sure she had plenty of time to adjust to the family before I started the formal training,” Chester says. Yet, from the beginning there seemed to be something instinctive about their relationship. One day, Chester noticed Juno circling Lucas while he was in his wheelchair. “She was whining and nudging him with her nose,” Chester says. “I checked his oxygen levels and they were very low.” After giving him oxygen, Lucas returned to normal and Juno greeted him with licks and affection.

Credit: Courtesy of the Hembree family. Juno watches over Lucas during a recent trip to the hospital.

Lucas and Juno received more than 6,000 Christmas cards from well-wishers around the world. This was the first batch.“That’s when I knew she had the ability to pick up on his neurological changes,” Chester says. “Now she alerts us when Lucas is about to have a seizure or if his oxygen levels drop really low. She has saved him several times."Juno has become a literal shoulder for Lucas to lean on when walking, and a calming influence when he’s agitated. And while Chester makes sure that Juno gets time off, he says that it’s hard to get Juno to leave Lucas’ side. “You don’t see one without the other close by,” he says. “It really feels like it was meant to be.”To learn more about Lucas you can go to the Facebook page that his dad writes from Lucas' perspective.

Whitney Houston's Final Choice

2012-02-23T01:51:00.001-08:00

I Will Always... Love You.

As predicted by the Mayans, Always ended on February 11, 2012.

Ah, the Music. Whitney's songs were the worst kind of mediocre tripe from the 80s Top 40 selection. On top of that, she had a reputation for being a horrible, self-centered, ungrateful person.

I'm sorry that she's dead. But her being dead doesn't change the fact that she was a celebrity because of nepotism, nor does it change that she was nasty to people throughout her career or erase that she became a junkie.

My sympathies, but it seems to me this was the inevitable conclusion to her sad story.

People do drugs because something is missing in their lives. Drugs make the pain go away. Drugs give you the confidence to continue outputting and be competitive. Drugs help you to mask your insecurities in front of others... or at least, think that you are masking them.

Heath Ledger didn't die because he liked drugs a lot. Heath Ledger died because he was trying to self-medicate.

And Whitney... with what's coming out so far, she's an outright suicide.

Awesome… or Whitney…

I don't feel sad for her, or her family.

People have choices in their lives... what forms those choices take make people either awesome… or Whitney...

A poor person on the streets, homeless, who has had hard luck all his life; I feel sorry for him because in most cases, no matter what choice he makes, he is stuck there… and 8 times outta ten, it's not his fault.

When a person is handed something because she has a gift (and don’t get me wrong, she could sing alright) and she blows it by smoking crack until her brain turns to Jello salad?

Have a nice funeral.

She had unlimited resources available to her- she smoked crack...
She had friends and family who could have helped her deal with it- she smoked crack…

Most people with those kinds of chances turn themselves around.

She was a loser with a great voice. Today, she is another dead "used ta be somebody" because she made bad choices.

Enjoy the next three months of tributes and frowny face botox hosts on E!

“I’m the Star. Not you.”

Life is good…

And then… Satan…

And instead of growing old cuddling grandbabies, your picture ends up on the front of the National Enquirer, as bored, celeb-worshipping housewives let their shock and disgust turn to fascination, tossing copies of Whitney’s “Final Moment” into their carts with their sodas and potato chips for Mom and beer for Dad, turning now to the next publicly sinking ship to watch and enjoy.

Enjoy.

Half a million in jewelry and gold slippers? There’s your National Treasure. Buried 6 feet under the ground. With the people in this woman's life, family and so-called friends, expect that Treasure Chest to be dug up before too long. There are many- legal- ways to exhume treasure.

Whitney Houston: An Apology

2012-02-21T12:25:00.000-08:00

Many of my readers have been offended by my comments regarding this woman. To them, and to you, I offer this personal apology.

I Will Always Love Crack: Whitney Houston Dies

2012-02-11T22:06:00.000-08:00

Don't fear the Reaper...

Saving All My Crack For You…

Okay, she could sing. Could, as in past tense. Twenty years ago. But what we know now is an empty shell of a person, one scooped clean by alcohol and dope.

I never listened to her music. I wasn’t then and am not today into pop music. But I recognize the talent for carrying a worthy tune.

Doesn’t matter. The future will remember Whitless, er, Whitney Houston in much the same way as JFK, except of course, that singers are a dime a dozen and true leaders are extinct. The Whit will be remembered as in, what could have been, but wasn’t. Whitless- I mean Whitney could have been a great singer. But she chose to be a drug addict.

Billie Holiday, she ain’t.

Anyone really surprised about the seeming lack of tributes to the gal? You shouldn’t be. This wasn’t someone who spent her fame and millions by helping needy children, or educating African villages about AIDS. This was a drunk with mismatched, wet clothing, always high, doing handstands by the pool, getting into fights with party guests. It’s tiring having people like this around. It’s useless. It takes too much energy to put up with them.

Billie Holiday, she ain’t.

Her interviews showed who she was, if you care to listen. She didn’t talk about benefit concerts or her new album. She talked about getting high. Because that’s what’s important to an addict. By some reports, this particular addict blew through 100 million dollars. As she told Diane Sawyer, “I make too much money to be smokin’ crack. Crack is wack.”

Yeah, you’ll be missed, Whitney. Like the Ghost of Christmas Past, once a year we’ll say, remember Whitney Houston?

Then again, maybe we won’t.

Ah, dope. The Greatest Love of All…

Trouble coming

The descendant: troubled daughter

Bobbi Kristina Brown

Just say no to Dad

So I guess this is Goodbye.

Goodbye

Things Women Say That Piss Off Men: Money

2011-08-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

"You don’t make enough money."

That's not enough

Actually, she’ll never come out and say this to you. She’ll infer it; you’ll understand it; but it’ll never be said. You’ll finally get it after she leaves you for another guy. After, of course, taking you for what little you’ve got.

This is when a woman is at her worst. She sees a guy with no funds to make her happy in the manner to which she’s become accustomed, but she’ll date him anyway. Why? Any number of reasons. She’s bored. She’s between boyfriends. Her current boyfriend is out of town maybe, and she doesn’t like to be alone. Meanwhile, you spend every penny of your spare cash to take her to nice restaurants, buy her little presents, maybe take a couple of trips. But as that credit card balance is going up, her respect for you is plummeting.

I know you’re not getting any

You don’t make enough money for her. Your clothes show it, your friends show their lack of sophistication, and your apartment looks like it was modeled from a college dorm. You have gotten rid of those cheesecake posters right? The ones with the oily girls…

Your car’s not good enough

Sorry Pard. Time to part with those things. They don’t show your studliness, your appreciation for the female form; they only show that you’re not getting any. Stash them deep in the Man Cave. Same as those Angel/Devil decals on your car. Tacky. You know how you’d feel if your lady drove up with an outline of a guy’s Schnitzel on her back window? Would you want to get in and drive around? Maybe you would. But you'd look like an asshole. Just like you do with your little nude girl decals.

You’re not my daddy

And yes, by the way: your car isn’t quite good enough either.

It’s okay though, all is not lost. You may fall short this time, but don't despair. Take the bruised ego and let her fly once she finds her cash-making Alpha Male. In a few years you’ll marry someone just like her, when she figures out that money wasn’t everything.

Of course by then, she’ll be carrying around Alpha’s kid…

Things Women Say That Piss Off Men: Boyfriend

2011-08-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the movie

"My Boyfriend."

Number One. Do I really need to go on? How many of us have started chatting up a girl only to be hit by this bullet? Maybe she was bagging your groceries, maybe counting out your money at the bank. Perhaps she was sitting next to you in your Astronomy class. Whatever she was doing, it was clear that what she was not doing, was going out with you. She was just making that crystal.

But what if she had? What if you secured a date and went out with this girl? There you are, post movie, sharing a couple of coffees and trying to keep the conversation going, then WHAM there it is. "My Boyfriend." What the hell?

Oh, you think, as you try to pull yourself together. After all, you still want to come across as cool and worthy to this babe. Maybe she didn't know this was a date. I didn't make myself clear. I didn't make my motives known. She thought we were two friends going out.

Gosh, a walk on the beach sounds nice…

Bullshit. You and she both knew what this was. When two single people of the opposite sex get together, and to further clarify, when they barely know each other and they go out to share an evening, it's not a business dinner, it's not a coworker convention, it's not a baby shower. It's a date. And this girl just told you that she has no interest in you. None. When she figured that out, was most likely about thirty seconds before she casually worked the word "boyfriend" into the conversation.

So what do you do now? The question is rhetorical, son. Because I'll tell you what you did. You sat there and listened to her stupid chatter, her gassy laughter, her overconfident spew while you licked your emotional wounds and wondered why every girl you go out with has a boyfriend. You paid for the movie, the coffee, and you probably even walked through the mall and bought this twit another little prize to take home with her.

You really don’t have to buy me that ring, but… okay.

Because you're a fool and a glutton for punishment.

What should you have done? Simple. Get up and walk the fuck out. Because this gal is now wasting your time- and your money. You want to be noble? Sure, I can bite. Call her a cab and pay for it. If you don't want to confront this self serving princess on her selfish comment, then excuse yourself, find a waiter, a barista, or the manager, and let him do the dirty work. It's not the first time they'd heard it. Give the guy a good tip on your way out and don't look back. And do not for a moment, believe the movies. There is no second chance with this woman; you will not meet her in a bookstore one day and laugh about your terrible date; you will not end up marrying her and tell your kids how you hated each other at first.

She’ll see what a great guy you are

But let's dissect the above. How did you end up in the situation? Did she drop the BF bomb from the beginning and you continued talking to her? The BF remark should be a big clue: You're Out. Every second more talking to this chick is a second off your life you're not getting back.

If she did, she mentioned him yet you still asked her out, well... you reap what you sow. I know what you thought. You thought, you'll become friends, she'll see what a great guy you are, then one rainy September night, your faces will meet...

You’re a really nice guy

I told you to stay out of the movies. She said she had a boyfriend, you asked her out, you paid for everything because you're just a generous guy, aren't you. But you're not. You had designs. You were lying to her from the beginning about your intentions. You don't care about some guy you haven't seen, you want to slip into her comfort zone any way you can, then pounce. Or as is more your style, hope against hope that she'll do the pouncing.

So does she have a boyfriend? Well, there's a slim chance that if you thought she was attractive enough to start wishing that boyfriend was you, then, yes. She does. And either he doesn't know about her soirees or he's dumb enough to believe that every male friend of hers that he's never met is gay. Why she went out with you in spite of the guy is a many sided apeirogon (look it up). Maybe she's bored (the winner). Could be she's looking for someone just a little better- oh- and you're not it. She may just hate being alone. It doesn't matter, does it?

But if she's in that danger zone, that fifteen minutes ladies experience between boyfriends when they're just out there accepting ~~free dinners and presents~~ dates, then no, she doesn't have a boyfriend. She told you she does, because she knows that boyfriend, wherever he may be and whenever he shows up in her life, will never be you.

Your boyfriend.

Indeed.

Hello Kitty Nailapalooza!

2011-08-10T16:06:00.001-07:00

Hello!

Hello Kitty Finger Nailapalooza!

Hello Kitty is named after one of Alice's cats in Through the Looking Glass (Alice in Wonderland).

You can't see Kitty's mouth. Why? Because she speaks from the heart.

Hello Kitty's name is actually Kitty White!
Her twin sister's name is Mimmy, who wears a bow on her right ear- so you can tell them apart (Mimmy actually shows up quite often).

Kitty is in the third grade.

The first time anyone saw Kitty, was in Japan in 1974, on a coin purse...

Am I really telling you anything you don't know?

YouTube Hello Kitty Nail Art Tutorials!

All this made me a little hungry...

aaaaaannnd,

the Zombie Kitty Cake.

Dogs, Cats and Babies

2011-07-31T07:42:00.000-07:00

When you need a babysitter, and your friends flake out, who's always been there for you?

That's right. And don't forget it.

So when you come back from a night out and you don't feel so well, who will be there to make sure you're taken care of?

They were always there for you.

Now it's your turn to be there for them.

Casey Anthony Mask Sells for nearly $1 Million on eBay

2011-07-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

From The Inquisitr: In the item description of the latex mask, the seller said it was one of only nine “sculpted to precision for a parody video by enigmatic pop artist/sculptor Torro.”

The Vid

“Forget Freddy, Jason, Meyers, here’s your chance to scare the shit out of everyone and win every costume contest with this amazing Tot Mom latex rubber mask, possibly the most frightening mask on the planet. And I can almost guarantee it’s the ‘only’ Casey mask on the planet,” the eBay description read.

The mask itself shows a relatively expressionless Anthony – a look that she became famous for as she stood on trial for the the death of her 2-year-old daughter Caylee – staring straight ahead, lips and mouth closed and her hair tied back in her signature pony tail.

Metaphor for the Justice System

The winning 105th bid, which was placed on Wednesday at 6:33pm EST, was totaled at $999,900. The buyer’s identity was kept confidential by eBay for obvious reasons – he/she has more money than sense.

Where my baby at

-Just another reminder that life isn't fair: Casey Anthony agreed to an interview, for which she will be paid 1 Million dollars for her time. *Update That particular piece of news turned out to be bullshit. However, our gal is apparently holding for 1.5 mil. Stay tuned.

And, for those of you looking for "Hot Casey Anthony Photos..." Look here and that's all I'm giving you.

Love and Marriage in Southern California

2011-07-28T07:23:00.000-07:00

Three Tales of Love Gone Astray

*Remember: these people all thought they were in love once, and this person was the one for them...

Let's settle this like adults

Constantino Monterrosas Gamez Accused of Setting Wife on Fire as They Sped 65 to 70 mph on Interstate

Always carry spare gasoline

Constantino Monterrosas Gamez, 39, and his 23-year-old wife were heading south on the I-15 in his 2002 Chevrolet S-10 pickup when they got into some kind of dispute. Just north of Temescal Canyon Road in Corona, Gamez is accused of dousing the Mrs. with gasoline and flicking a cigarette lighter to torch her.

As the pickup continued speeding at 65 to 70 mph, she opened the door and jumped. Gamez continued heading south for a short stretch before losing control of the truck and slamming into the back of a garbage truck.

Neither Gamez nor the garbage truck driver were hurt, but Gamez's wife obviously suffered injuries from being burned and slamming into the pavement.

Amazingly, she is expected to recover, according to the California Highway Patrol.

Gamez was arrested at the scene by CHP officers and booked into the Presley Detention Center in Riverside on suspicion of attempted murder, domestic violence, kidnapping, false imprisonment and making criminal threats. Bail was set at $1 million.

Update October 26, 2011: Constantino pled guilty as part of a plea agreement and received just over 15 years in prison. Governor Jerry Brown is expected to immediately commute his sentence and give him a scholarship to the California State University of his choice.

I just ain't good enough for ya Baby Doll

Man Fights With Estranged Wife Then Sets Himself on Fire

A 50-year-old Rancho Santa Margarita man attempted suicide by setting himself on fire.

The Orange County Sheriff's Department and Orange County Fire Authority responded to a call that came in around 11:15 p.m. Friday from a neighbor who heard the man screaming on the deck of his condominium on Blue Oak.

The victim, who had doused himself with gasoline, was rushed to Western Medical Center's burn unit, where he was treated for second- and third-degree burns all over his body.

According to the sheriff's department, the man was listed in critical condition with injuries that could cost him his life.

He earlier argued with his estranged wife at her residence before returning to his condo and setting himself ablaze in the bedroom.

No one else was injured. The man's condo is in the middle of a three-unit building, but the condos on either side of his were not damaged.

Man's penis cut off, put through garbage disposal

48 year old Cougar, recently separated, seeks friend, possibly more

A Southern California woman was in custody Tuesday after authorities said she drugged her estranged husband, tied him to a bed, cut off his penis and put it through a garbage disposal.

Garden Grove police Lt. Jeff Nightengale said that Catherine Kieu Becker drugged a meal and served it to the victim, whose name was not released, shortly before the attack Monday night.

Nightengale said the 51-year-old man felt sick, went to lie down and lost consciousness. The 48-year-old Becker then tied the victim's arms and legs to the bed with rope, removed his clothes and attacked him with a 10-inch kitchen knife as he awoke, Nightengale said.

"He was conscious when his penis was removed," Nightengale said.

Funny Fruit and Vegetable Art

2011-07-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

Pencil Art

2011-07-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

Artist Dalton Ghetti carves artwork from pencils.

Dalton Ghetti does really sharp work - on a tiny scale.

The Bridgeport artist creates impossibly detailed miniature sculptures on the tip of a pencil.

"I'm known as the pencil guy," laughed Ghetti, 49. "I don't mind that at all."

He shuns a magnifying glass and uses simple tools like razor blades and needles to create delicate little figures - from a tiny, jagged handsaw to a minibust of Elvis in shades."It's like I'm removing specs of dust at a time because the scale is so small," he said. "If there's a little bit of dust on my table at the end of the day and I didn't break it - that's a good day's work."

Ghetti, who grew up in Brazil , has been carving since he was a schoolboy who sharpened his pencil with a razor or a pocketknife. He started big, with wood and stone, and then moved to carving soap, candles and even broom handles before he found his niche about 25 years ago.

"The pencil has been kind of like a challenge to myself," he said. "I can do anything really big, but the small stuff is really difficult, so I was like, let me see how small I can go."

He works as a carpenter and carves pencils in his free time - often putting in just an hour or so before his eyes get tired. It can take years to finish an especially complicated piece - a linked chain in the middle of a pencil took him two years, and a carefully crafted giraffe even longer.

"When I'm inspired, I can sit down and things just flow," he said. "You can't force yourself to do those things. I do it just for fun, it's pretty much like a hobby, a kind of meditation work that I do."
Along with his other projects, Ghetti is slowly carving a tiny, graphite tear for every 9/11 victim, finishing one each morning before he goes to work, and estimates it will take him 10 years to finish and display them together.

Several years ago, he decided to carve the entire alphabet, and created one letter a month until he was done.

The entire work is on display through Aug. 29 at the New Britain Museum of American Art as part of its "Meticulous Masterpieces" show.

He has four pieces in the works, but would not say what they are, in case he ends up jinxing himself into snapping the delicate lead. Ghetti doesn't sell his creations, and even saves his failed attempts, pinned into a Styrofoam "graveyard."

"I do it from my heart, I do it when I feel like - and I pretty much do it for myself," he said. "It's my own interest in the small things in life that drove me to call people's attention to them."

When It's O.K. To use the F word...

2011-07-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

Say 'Carmageddon' one more God damn time

2011-07-16T13:07:00.000-07:00

I dare you

The 405 is closing this weekend so CalTrans can blow up a bridge. For weeks now the media has been spewing 'Carmageddon,' and I hope whoever coined that damn phrase is making some money.

News media has a very, very difficult time coming up with anything new though. They like their catchphrases, sound bytes, and to dig up old tired crap for filler stories.

But they're only part of the problem. With all the information outlets available today you'd think we could get new stuff every minute. But we don't. Same tired crap every day. Same news, same stories, same music on the radio. So I patched together a quick list of things I never want to hear again, in no particular order:

1. Carmageddon

2. That anything has gone Viral

3. 'Bang a Gong' by T Rex

4. The words Housing Market

5. That you're going to school

6. The words "President Obama"

7. Facebook

8. Crap you say about your kids

9. Anything about Harry Potter or Twilight

10. The World Cup

While I'm at it, it would be nice to never see this goddam thing again either:

Because it frightens me. So I have to imagine it as something less scary:

See, now not so bad.

Okay I'm hearing someone talk about her Mom having to go to the bathroom, and I don't want to anger the population by being in here blogging while they're working.

Alligator Bites Arm Off Snorkeler

2011-07-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

From South Carolina:

Summer, 2007: They were feasting on roast pork and dancing around the picnic table at Lake Moultrie when a man in snorkel gear stumbled through the tree line, grasping at his left shoulder where his arm used to be.

Blood gushed from between his fingers. “Call my wife, call my wife,” the man said through a snorkel mask.

Five nurses who were among those at the gathering quickly laid the man on the ground. They put ice on his wound, instructed him to take deep breaths and told him stories to keep him awake.

One of the picnickers, Jerome Bien, traced the bloody trail through the trees and to the shore where he saw a pool of blood in the sand. About 25 feet out in the water in front of him, the eyes of a giant alligator stared back. The victim’s arm remained clenched in its jaws.

Officers from the state’s Department of Natural Resources shot the 550 pound reptile, cut it open, and removed Hedden’s arm from its stomach, then placed the arm in a picnic cooler and rushed it to the hospital with a police escort.

Doctors decided against attempting to reattach the arm, however.

How Did They Get There?

2011-07-11T04:18:00.000-07:00

Hopefully we can get these poor things out of there before they cause any damage!

More Dog Awesome Greatness

2011-07-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

You will not threaten ninja chicken

As we continue with the Tales of Awesome Dogs:

Graham Nuttall and his border collie Ruswarp were an inseparable pair. Ruswarp was 14 years old when he and Nuttall went on a hike in the Welsh Mountains in January of 1990. They did not return as scheduled. 11 weeks later, another hiker found Nuttall's body, and a cold and starving Ruswarp standing guard. The dog had to be carried off the mountain, and was cared for by a vet paid by the RSPCA. Ruswarp survived long enough to attend Nuttall's funeral. Graham Nuttall was an activist involved with saving the scenic British railway line from Settle to Carlisle. The Friends of the Settle-Carlisle Line (FoSCL) raised money for a memorial to Ruswarp. A bronze statue of the dog was installed at the Garsdale Station in North Yorkshire in early 2009.

Graham & Ruswarp

But YOU would have gone away, ADMIT IT. Because people are not as cool as DOGS.

The power of love.

Once, my elderly father crawled under his house to repair something and had a stroke. He couldn't alert anyone above in the house, just laid there alone in terrible trouble until my dog found him, worried about him.

Inseparable

And, what did my dog do to comfort him? He made two or three DOZEN trips into the house to fetch one fluffy stuffed animal toy of his at a time, took it to Dad and packed them all around him and then stayed at his side until help arrived.

–Patois; from Comments

That's right. There's a lot of evil in this world. I've often said, I don't know if I believe in God, but I sure as hell believe in the Devil, because I see his work around me every day.

But then I remember my dog, and other dogs I've been lucky enough to have known, and dogs like Ruswarp here. And I know there must be something out there that cares about this pathetic human existence.

Because he sent his best friends down here to watch out for us.

If we're worthy of them.

The Continuing Tales of Awesome Dogs

2011-07-02T12:08:00.000-07:00

From the continuing tales of Awesome Dogs:

not here, mister

Treo the Bomb-sniffer

Treo is a retired member of the British military, and a decorated war hero. The black Labrador was a member of the 104 Military Working Dog Support Unit and served in Afghanistan. There, the trained sniffer twice found hidden bombs in Helmand province in 2008. Treo was awarded the Dickin Medal, the highest military honor for an animal in Britain, in 2010. Sgt. Dave Heyhoe was Treo's handler in the military, and the two served together in Northern Ireland before being shipped to Afghanistan. When both completed their military service, Treo went home to live with Heyhoe, who said Treo's action saved the lives of many soldiers.

Yet they overpopulate the doggie orphanage.

This soldier just arrived home from Afghanistan. Yeah. His best friend was waiting.

A deaf-mute goes into a hardware store. He wants to buy a pencil sharpener, so he walks up to the clerk, sticks a finger in his ear and rotates his other hand around his other ear. The next customer is a blind man. How does he let the clerk know he wants a pair of scissors?

Sweet, sweet irony:

Q. How does Chris Hansen, the "To Catch a Predator" predator, tell his wife of thirty years that he's cheating on her?

Hey I'm over 18

A. By getting caught on hidden camera, naturally.

He and his wife, Mary Joan Hansen, live in Connecticut with their two sons.

At least they did.

Getting caught with a 30 year old blonde in Florida, may interrupt that gig.

Snus and the Talking Dog

2011-06-27T06:15:00.000-07:00

Get out of the way next time, Jerks.

If you smoke you've probably heard of Snus. Here's an excellent 60 Minutes report on it for those of us who don't. Smoke, that is.

And if you're on the fringes of addiction, there are new products on the tobacco market. Dissolvable tobacco, reminiscent of candy cigarettes. It's never been so easy to get cancer. Just ask this guy.

Does she really have crystals coming out of her eyes? And if she does, why? Is it magic? Are they worth money? Is it a religious miracle? In that part of the world it is notoriously difficult to track down the real story, but some would say that the father pushed those crystals in there himself. In any case, the magic has stopped.

Pushing crystals into his daughter's eyes, sure that's nasty, but then there are these Mothers of the Year from our local California desert:

Sheriff's deputies arrested a Victorville mother after she took her 12-year-old daughter to fight another 12-year-old, officials said. Shawnah Foster, 31, took her daughter to a park near Burwood Avenue and Glen Canyon Lane for the fight, according to San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department Victorville station officials. Witnesses at the park reported that when Foster's daughter appeared to be losing, Foster jumped in and grabbed her daughter's opponent by the hair, pulling the juvenile away from her daughter and slapping the victim in the face, sheriff's officials said.

Gosh if only there were a video.

This. Dog. Talks. Amazing.