My Single Life - Blog

Goodbye

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:20:00 -0000

I'd like to thank everyone for reading my dating experiences, but I feel it is now time for me to end my blog posts. I have enjoyed writing them, they have even helped me along the way in a strange kind of way. I would like to thank Dan for being so understanding with me writing about my life with him. I feel privileged to have been asked by the guys who run this site to write a diary of my dating experience, but I now feel it is time to move on. I wish everyone on this site all the best and I hope you all find what you are looking for. Take care Love Jessica

The move

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:11:00 -0000

I moved in with Dan at the weekend. I'm there right now. It feels weird writing this while Dan is within a few feet of me. We are both shattered after lifting boxes and bags at the weekend. I was in work today as I couldn't get the day off but I am off the next few days. Dan was off work today so it was lovely coming home to him after work. I got that funny feeling in my tummy when I was opening the door. I nearly took my old route home from work and had to remind myself that I live at Dan's place now. I'll just need to get used to a different journey home from work. As I look around I can see my mark in Dan's place, I hope not too much though. I don't want it to look like I've taken over! We have talked about getting a new place together, one that we can call just ours, but that won't be for a little while yet. I'm more than happy to live here with Dan for the time being.

Moving in

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:58:00 -0000

It was a lovely weekend for me; Dan asked if I would move in with him! He took me by suprise to be honest, a pleasant suprise though. I've not moved in yet, I will probably start moving some of my things at the weekend. While I'm really excited, a small part of me is a little cautious but not because of Dan. This is my first proper relationship since the breakdown of my long term relationship and I'm just scared of things not working out. I keep telling myself that this relationship is nothing like my last. I don't want my cautious feelings to ruin this big step for us. I think I'll move my things on gradually. It will be a good way to finally get rid of some of the junk I've been keeping hold of. My friends were really supportive when I told them, all apart from one though. She said she thought it was too soon. I've known Dan since last October and I feel the time is right. My parents have been great about the move too, they really like Dan and they are pleased as I won't be moving that far away from them. I guess I should start getting my things packed away which is a job I'm not looking forward to!

Mother's Day shopping

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 09:05:00 -0000

Today I'm going shopping with Dan so he can get his mum a present for Mother's Day. As usual he has left it until the last minute. I've been asking him for weeks what he is going to get her and he kept saying there is plenty of time! It seems like yesterday that we went christmas shopping together, where has the time gone? Tomorrow we are going to Dan's parents for lunch and then my parents for dinner, so I think my tummy will be full by tomorrow night! It may sound strange, but since all that business with Dan's ex, I have felt closer to him. I never thought there would be a positive outcome from his ex turning up. I think it's because we had a heart to heart at the time and talked honestly about our feelings. Dan is picking me up in about 10 minutes to go shopping, so I'd better go and get my things together.

Feels like summer

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 20:15:00 -0000

What a lovely week it's been so far, I love the sunshine. I'm lucky at work as I have a great view out of the window and it's lovely with the window open, although not quite warm enough to have it open all the time. I laughed to myself about some of the girls in work; the first bit of sunshine and they dress like there is a heat wave! I don't know how they get away with wearing what they do as there is a dress code and tight vest tops are not part of it. It makes me chuckle though. I think Dan's ex is finally out of the picture now. He hasn't heard anything from her since last week now, so I really hope that is it over now. The really annoying woman I work with (the negative one who criticises everyone) unfortunately overheard me telling one of my friends in work about Dan's ex and felt she just had to give me her opinion! I felt I was over the whole situation and had accepted it, but then she stuck her nose in and has made me think about it all over again, but not in a good way. I wish she would stay out of it. She loves to see other people worry and have troubles. It's not the first time she has listened in to my conversations and I'm sure it won't be the last. I'll just have to be more careful next time I decide to talk about my personal life. At least only two more work days until the weekend. Friday lunchtime my boss is taking us all out for lunch, so I'm looking forward to that.

A normal saturday at last

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 09:07:00 -0000

It is nice to have a normal saturday at last; the last two haven't been that great with Dan's ex returning. Luckily there has been no word from her since late tuesday night, so hopefully she has got the message. Dan thinks she only contacted him because she has just been dumped by someone and she thought he would give in to her. I'm not going to spend any more time even thinking about her. Today Dan and I are off to the zoo, which I'm looking forward to. I've not been to the zoo in ages. When I was younger I always left the zoo with a new cuddly toy from the gift shop, I wonder if the same will happen today! At least now I don't have to rely on my pocket money! I think I have just seen Dan's car pull onto the drive, so I'd better be off.

I hope she's got the message

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:05:00 -0000

Well, Dan finally spoke to his ex, late last night! Dan phoned me at work earlier to tell me, just so I didn't have another day of worry. She apparently phoned him just as he was going to bed last night. She went on and on about how they should never have broken up and that she misses him everyday and wants him back. She even started crying down the phone to him and said she doesn't know how she will survive without him, although they split up quite a long time ago! Dan did find out that she had just been dumped by her latest bloke and she isn't a person who likes to be on her own for long. Dan told her straight that there is no chance they would get back together and that he is with me now in a strong relationship. He said he loves me which didn't go down well. Dan said that's when she started to get abusive towards both him and me. Once she got nasty, Dan just told her to leave him alone and not to phone him again. She did say in not a very nice way that she wouldn't call him again. Lets just hope she sticks to her word! I feel relieved, but angry that I wasted so much time worrying about it. I hope that's the end of the ex saga.

Every girls nightmare!

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:10:00 -0000

It has been a horrible weekend, for the second week running. Dan's ex has been phoning him all weekend and has left loads of messages on his answerphone. I'm just glad she doesn't have his current mobile number. I listened to some of the messages myself and felt sick. She said that she loved seeing him last weekend and can't stop thinking about him and the good times they had in the past! I was nearly in tears when I heard them, but didn't want to show my weakness to Dan or give her the satisfaction of getting to me. Dan hasn't spoken to her yet, she has asked him to call her. For all I know she has left more messages today, or perhaps even spoken to him by now. In one way I want Dan to talk to her so he can tell her to leave him alone, but I don't want her to put on an act to get sympathy from him. I feel useless at the moment. I wish she would just leave him alone. At least she doesn't live near here, so there is no risk of just bumping into her at the shops, but who knows if she is that determined to get him back! All day at work I worried about what could happen. I trust Dan, but it doesn't make me comfortable with the situation. I only hope she gets the message soon.

Heart to heart

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:20:00 -0000

What a long week, it felt like friday would never get here. I always feel like that when something is playing on my mind. Last night Dan and I had a big heart to heart talk. We went out for a drive in his car and got some chips, which were the nicest chips I've had in a long time. Anyway, we parked up and had a really good talk. It felt good being honest about how I feel and hearing how he felt. I think I was preparing myself for the worst when he met up with his ex on saturday without thinking about the strength of the relationship Dan and I have. Dan said he only met up with her because he was being nice and thought there was something wrong. He told me he will not see her again, and he hadn't planned on it anyway. He got the feeling she wanted him back too, but has absolutely no intention of it. I'm glad he opened up about her. It's not always a conversation couples like to have, but I'm glad he did. It has made me understand a little about how their relationship was. I feel much happier now. I wish we could have had that talk earlier in the week. Lets just hope she stays away now. I'm off to the cinema with Dan in a while, so I'm off to get ready now.

What is she up to?

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:50:00 -0000

I was glad when Dan phoned me after his encounter with his ex. I didn't know how to react when he called. I was angry, but didn't want to be angry with him; it was the situation I didn't like. I just kept trying to think of reasons why his ex wanted to meet up with him. Dan said she just wanted to meet up to catch up which was weird. Even he wasn't sure what it was all about. She said beforehand that she wanted to talk to him about something, then when they met she made out she just wanted to catch up like friends do. Luckily he didn't stay long at the pub with her, although he said she did want him to stay and have lunch with her, but he refused. Dan did tell her about me and she didn't say much. I can't help but think she wants him back. Why else would she ask to meet him then go quiet when she found out about me. Maybe I'm over reacting, but I don't trust her at all. I don't ususally feel jealous like this, but for some reason it has really got to me. I'm trying hard not to be nasty to Dan, it's not his fault. He knew her way before me, and I don't know how things used to be between them. Dan came round saturday afternnon and I couldn't stop thinking about his ex. I tried really hard to be normal, but I'm sure Dan knew I was worried. He hasn't heard from her since saturday, but she did say she'd like to meet up again soon. I'm hoping she doesn't contact him. Dan said he has no intention of contacting her, and said I meant the world to him. I hope I can get over this and get her out of my mind.

Return of the ex!

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 11:41:00 -0000

It's been a bit of a horrible morning for me today. I spoke to Dan earlier and he told me something that most people dread; his ex girlfriend has been in contact with him! When he told me I felt sick, before I even found out any details. He has mentioned ex partners before, we both have, but I never thought one would be back in his life. Apparently she wants to talk to him about something and he has agreed to meet her, this morning! I don't know if I have the right to be annoyed, but I am! I didn't say much to Dan, think I was a little off with him on the phone but I couldn't help it. He is meeting her in a bar in town, I suppose it could have been worse, he could have invited her round to his place. I trust Dan, but because I have never met her, I don't know what to think. I just wish she hadn't contacted him. I might be getting worked up over nothing, but until I know for sure I won't be able to settle. Dan doesn't know what she wants yet either, but he said he is only meeting her for a short while. He is too polite to say no to her. I don't think she caused any trouble when they were together, but I wasn't there so I can't be sure. He is meeting her in 20 mins or so. I feel so silly feeling so worked up, I wish I could control this but I can't. I'm seeing Dan later on and he said he will ring me when he has left the bar, so I'll be glad when I hear from him.

Belated Valentines Day plans

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:52:00 -0000

This week is really dragging for me; at least only two more days at work until the weekend though. I feel like I'm wishing my life away when I say that. I saw Dan at the weekend, he is much better now, still not back to normal but much better than he was. He keeps coughing which is becoming really annoying, I shouldn't say that as I know he's not doing it on purpose and it's annoying him too. I ended up telling him about those blokes trying to chat my friends and I up on my night out with the girls. I didn't know how he would react but he seemed ok about it. He did say I should have called him to come and meet me, but there was no way he could even have got out of bed. I think he felt useless when I told him, but I didn't make a big thing of it. I only told him because I don't like having secrets, eventhough it wasn't really a big thing. I know what I'm like when something plays on my mind; I have to talk about it. I'm glad Dan is feeling better now, he even mentioned planning our belated valentines day plans. We haven't actually made any plans yet, but it will either be for this weekend or next depending on what we decide to do. At least we won't have other people celebrating at the same time as us. He is coming round soon to watch a film, so I'd better do some tidying up.

Should I tell him?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 15:10:00 -0000

All week I've had Sunday night going over and over in my head. I still can't believe I felt that unsafe in a local, usually quiet, bar. I have been talking to my friends about it and they said they didn't feel safe either. I just keep thinking about what could have happened, possibly nothing, but there was something about those blokes I didn't like. I don't know whether to tell Dan about the evening. I have nothing to hide, but I don't know whether he will get all protective, or even jealous. I don't want to worry him, he needs to concentrate on getting better. If I don't tell him, then I'm sure it will pop up in future conversation and he will wonder why I didn't tell him. I'm starting to wish I had gone round to see him Sunday night instead of going out with my friends. I'm seeing Dan tonight, so I'll probably tell him all about it, think I need to get it off my chest too. Dan isn't feeling up to much, so I am taking a Chinese takeaway round to his place, which I'm really looking forward too.

Uncomfortable night out

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:15:00 -0000

At last Dan is finally getting better. I saw him last night and he looked so sweet. He is over the worst part but he still sounds bad. I've never had the flu and from what he has told me, I don't want it! I felt awful going out with my friends on sunday knowing he was ill in bed and to make matters worse there was a group of blokes at the bar we went to who wouldn't leave my friends and I alone. They tried to chat us all up, but there were only a few in our group who are single and were interested. I found it hard to make it clear I wasn't interested without being rude. The guy who kept talking to me was very touchy-feely and I didn't like that at all. I moved away from him and even made the excuse of going to the toilets, but he didn't seem to get the hint. It kind of spoilt the evening, for me anyway. He didn't over step the mark or anything, but I just felt uncomfortable. In the end I told him I had a boyfriend, but that didn't seem to make any difference. I couldn't work out if this guy was just having innocent fun, or if he was really trying to come on to me, which is how it came across to me. I wanted to leave, but didn't want to leave on my own; I felt that uncomfortable. In the end four of us had had enough of the blokes overstaying their welcome, plus they started to get a bit roudy, so we decided to leave together. It sounds pathetic, but we made a run for it when some of the blokes went to the bar to get more drinks. The rest of our group left shortly after us. Relieved to be home I started to get angry about how the evening ended. I shouldn't have let those guys ruin my evening, but I honestly didn't feel safe and they always say you should always trust your instincts.

Valentine disappointment

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:42:00 -0000

Valentines Day didn't exactly go as I'd hoped. When I saw Dan on Thursday he said he wasn't feeling all that good. He did sound a little congested and he said he felt weak, but he wasn't too bad. Friday night when I spoke to him he sounded awful! He could barely talk and he wasn't making much sense. He said he had the flu and he really did sound like it. He hadn't even made it out of bed! There was no way he was going to be well enough to do anything on Valentines Day. I was a little disappointed, but more concerned about Dan getting better. I was all for going to be with him, but he said he was just sleeping all the time and didn't want me to catch it from him. I had a nice quiet saturday night in instead. We will do our Valentines Day another time instead. Tonight I am going out for a friend's birthday. A group of us are just going for a quiet drink. I feel a little guilty going out while Dan is stuck at home not feeling well though. I guess I'd only be sitting indoors otherwise. Hopefully Dan will start to feel better soon.