My Slap Happy Kitchen

Princess Cake

2013-01-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

Since the crown mold was otherwise occupied it became necessary to make a vintage throwback Barbie doll cake. (Okay, not really, but it seemed like a fun challenge.)

At first I was tempted to buy one of the cake molds specifically made for this purpose. But after a bit of research it seemed like a waste of money, personally. Two spring form pans, one glass bowl, and some patience also work. If you are missing any of these items, you can purchase a pre-made mold here.

Recipe:

2 Chocolate Cake Box Mixes
2 Cups Unsalted Butter (Softened)
6 Cups Powdered Sugar
1/2 Tsp. Salt
2 Tbs. Vanilla Extract
1/2 Cup Baileys
Red Food Coloring
12 Oz. Coconut Flakes
Green Food Coloring
Various Cake Decorations

First, make peace with yourself for using boxed cake mixes. The final product will require a lot of work on the backend. Be nice to yourself.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Prepare your hardware. Grease and flour two 8" spring form pans and a glass Pyrex bowl. Verify that the glass bowl, when inverted, will sit nicely on top of the spring form cakes.

Prepare chocolate cake mix per directions. Pour half of the batter between the 8" spring form pans. Pour remaining batter into glass bowl. Place all three cakes into the oven. The spring form cakes will be done in 30 to 35 minutes. Leave the glass bowl cake in the oven and begin checking every five minutes with a toothpick for doneness. Mine took an additional 20 minutes.

Allow the cakes to cool completely.

While waiting for the cakes to cool make your frosting. In a stand mixer whip the 2 cups of butter until light and fluffy. Slowly begin adding the powdered sugar. Once combined add the Bailey's by the tablespoon until a spreadable consistency is achieved. Add red food coloring until desired pinkness is achieved.

Now that the cakes are cooled, they need to be removed from their molds. The glass bowl cake can be easily removed by firmly inverting the bowl onto the counter and giving it a couple good thumps.

Use a shot glass to make an impression in the center of all three cakes. Reserve the crumbles for bodice building.

Place one of the spring form cakes in the center of your serving platter. Frost the top generously and add the second spring form cake. Frost the top of this cake and then add the bowl cake inverted. Place Barbie in her new home, using the cake crumbs and frosting to fill any gaps and give way to a smooth bodice.


I promise this gets less Cakes Gone Wild soon.

Apply a 'crumb layer' of frosting to the entire cake. This is a thin layer of frosting that is allowed to harden so your final, outer layer of frosting will be crumb free.

Use your various cake decoration to build the embellishments on the dress. A steady hand, tweezers, and sense of humor will be required.

Dye the cocounut green. Place coconut into a plastic container that you don't care about or have outright disdain for. Add a couple of drops green food coloring. Shake vehemently and spread around the cake to hide any sins of messy frosting that may have occurred.

It was determined by majority concensus that the Princesses in our neighborhood drink beer. I think the mini Bud Light is my favorite embellishment of this cake.

Please be warned that your Princess may become a bit saucy as the evening wears on...

Drunken Princess Tiara Gummy

2013-01-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

Soon after Kitchen Husband posted pictures of his (almost) 5 Pound Gummy Bear on Facebook another friend posted this ahhhhmazingly simply technique from Mrs. Alexandria on how to make Drunken Gummies.

Everyone gets where this is going, right? Same technique as the 5 Pound Gummy Bear but with a week long spa-like experience afterwards. (Lucky bastid.)

To keep with the princess theme a tiara mold was needed. On the off-chance this is not something already in your arsenal, here is a link to order your very own.

Recipe:

7 Cups Chilled Apple Juice

63 Oz. Raspberry Jell-o

1 1/4 Cups + 1 Tbs. Unflavored Gelatin (42 Individual Packets)
750 ml Vodka
750 ml Cherry Vodka
750 ml Peach Schnapps

Sift together the Jell-o and unflavored gelatin in a large saucepan. Add the chilled apple juice and give it a quick stir to combine. Walk away for 15 minutes.

Now that the gelatin has had a chance to go all sciency and bloom for you crank the heat to medium and stir until completely dissolved. This process takes about 20 minutes total because of the sheer volume.

Give the cake mold and a rimmed baking sheet a quick spritz of nonstick cooking spray. Fill the cake mold first and transfer remaining liquid to the baking sheet.

Allow kitchen magic to happen overnight.

The next morning you will want to tackle the crown first. Use your index finger to wiggle around the perimeter of the mold. Once loosened gently pry your hand into one side and using moderate force encourage the gummy out the rest of the way.

Nifty trick, right? But it is missing the necessary bling required for a princess. Using an assortment of cookie cutters cut shapes out of the sheet of gummy.

Next you will need to send your crown to its spa date. First, acupuncture its backside with a chopstick. This will help it relax and better absorb its boozy gift.

Second, send it for a week long soak of Vodka and Peach Schapps in a large tupperware container with a tight fitting lid. Be sure to include your decorative cutouts to ensure loneliness does not occur.

One week later pull the gummy out of its bath. Reserve the remaining alcohol for making 'Princess Juice' later. Decorate accordingly with the cutouts.

Princess Popcorn

2013-01-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

"A princess used to stand for beauty, magic spells, and fairy castles. That was pretty damn important." -- Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

One of The Neighbors recently had a birthday. After brainstorming a multitude of potential themes she settled on a tri-themed 90's Princess Beer Party. The evening commenced with an alarming amount of Brittany Spears, glitter, and glorious beer.

What to serve to soak up all that glorious beer? Amy at She Wears Many Hats offered the perfect inspiration with her Valentine Popcorn. This was the perfect crunchy, salty, sweet combination perfect for any princess -- drunk or sober.

Recipe:

12 Cups Air Popped Popcorn

2 Cups White Chocolate Chips

Nonpareils Cake Decorations

Kosher Salt

Red Food Coloring

Cover counter top with either foil or parchment paper. Following manufacturer instructions make 12 cups of popcorn and spread it about. Now, you might be thinking this is the perfect opportunity to fulfill a childhood dream of popping the popcorn sans bowl...I promise this only ends in a giant mess.


So much naked popcorn...

Place an inch of water in a small saucepan and turn heat onto medium. Place a glass bowl on top of the sauce pan. Ensure that the water does not touch the bottom of the bowl. Add the white chocolate chips and a few drops of red food coloring. Stir until smooth adding more red food coloring if necessary.

Drizzle the pink chocolate over the popcorn. Immediately sprinkle with a healthy amount of Kosher salt and nonpareils. Use a spatula lightly spritzed with nonstick cooking spray to evenly coat popcorn. Serve in a fancy-like trifle dish fit for a princess.

Homemade Peep: Ginormousized

2013-01-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

I really do love my Kitchen Husband but my original foodie crush was on Alton Brown. So imagine my glee when I received Alton Brown's Good Eats 3 as a gift the same weekend Kitchen Husband was visiting!

We thumbed through the pages together and landed on Alton Brown's recipe for homemade marshmallows. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to pay homage to the genius time Kitchen Husband discovered the key to making Deep Fried S'mores and find a way to take yet another simple idea delightfully too far.

I already owned a bunny cake mold that is a full foot from ears to chin. (Like the bear cake mold used in my attempt to make a 5 Lb. Gummy Bear...the reasons this was already in my kitchen arsenal is not up for discussion.) On the off-chance you do not already own a ridiculous number of novelty cake molds for when these occasions occur, here is the link for one of your own.

Recipe:

3 Packets Unflavored Gelatin

1 Cup Ice Water, Divided

1 1/2 Cups Granulated Sugar

1 Cup Light Corn Syrup

1/4 Tsp. Kosher Salt

1 Tsp. Vanilla Extract

1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar

Yellow Food Coloring

Prepare your colored sugar by placing a 1/2 cup of granulated sugar and a few drops of yellow food coloring into a plastic container you either don't care about or straight up have disdain for. Cap it and give it a few good shakes.

Give the cake mold a spritz of nonstick cooking spray. Reserve a few tablespoons of the colored sugar for the Peep's backside. Use remaining sugar to prepare the cake pan by knocking it around a bit until the pan is thoroughly coated.

In the largest bowl you own for your stand mixer place a 1/2 cup of the ice water and sprinkle the 3 packets of gelatin on top. Give it the privacy it needs to properly bloom while you prepare the hot liquids for its upcoming shock treatment.

Fill a small saucepan with the remaining 1/2 cup water, 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar, 1 cup corn syrup, and salt. Give it a quick stir to combine, cover with a lid, and turn heat to medium high and allow to cook for four minutes.

After four minutes have passed uncover the liquid and clip on a candy thermometer. Continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees F. Once proper temperature is achieved carefully remove the sticky, scalding hot liquid from the heat. Seriously, be careful.

Turn your stand mixer onto a low speed and slowly pour the hot liquid down the side of the bowl into the bloomed gelatin mixture. Slowly increase the speed to high and prepare to witness food magic over the next 12 to 15 minutes. During the 14th minute remember to add your vanilla extract.

Spritz a spatula with nonstick spray and use to spread your marshmallow fluff into the prepared mold. Sprinkle the backside of your creation with the remaining colored sugar.

Allow the Peep to setup overnight. The next morning flip your Peep with a satisfying amount of force onto a baking sheet. It is up to you to decide if it is better fresh or a few days stale.

5 Lb. Gummy Bear

2013-01-09T06:00:00.000-05:00

When the above video first made its rounds on social media the Kitchen Husband was intrigued. The man loves him some pineapple gummy candy. It is both endearing and weird.

I wanted to appropriately thank him for the support during the recent move and decided the most logical way to do this is to make him his very own 5 pound pineapple gummy bear.

Based on a few experiences of leaving gummy candy in cars during the summer months I originally planned on buying 1,400 pineapple gummy bears and melting them together in a low degree oven. But that felt a bit Hitlerish.

Instead I found a recipe posted on Skip To My Lou for making regular sized gummy candies. The original recipe can be found here.

For reasons that are not up for discussion I already owned a bear cake mold. In need of your own? (Who isn't?) Find one on Amazon here .

Recipe:

7 Cups Pineapple Juice Chilled

63 Oz. Orange Gelatin (Jell-O)

1 1/4 Cups + 1 Tbs. Unflavored Gelatin (42 Individual Packets)

The most tedious part of this project is opening up the packets of unflavored gelatin. Or you could plan in advance and buy gelatin in bulk. Unfortunately I came up with this idea after 10:00 PM and my local 24 hour grocer doesn't carry in bulk...

Next sift together the orange flavored gelatin and unflavored gelatin in a large sauce pan. Add the chilled pineapple juice and give it a quick stir to combine. Walk away for 15 minutes.

Now that the gelatin has had a chance to go all sciency and bloom for you crank the heat to medium and stir until completely dissolved. This process took about 20 minutes total because of the sheer volume.

Give the cake mold a quick spritz of cooking spray and fill the mold with the liquid.

Quickly realize you have more liquid than mold and make the last minute decision to also do a bunny gummy. (Or use a rimmed baking sheet to do cut out gummy candies with the excess.)

I know this is an unfortunate shape but I promise it becomes a bunny.

Allow kitchen magic to happen overnight. Seriously. When you wake up you will have a giant gummy candy in a mold. Use your index finger to wiggle around the perimeter of the mold. Once loosened gently pry your hand into one side and using moderate force encourage the gummy out the rest of the way.

This step actually took me most of the morning due to a lot of anxiety that I was going to tear or otherwise harm the giant gummy. Get over these fears. It is a lot of gummy and does alright with a bit of force.

Here is where I fear I've been a bit misleading. It is true that I set out to make a 5 pound gummy bear. The Scientist, with all of his sciency ways, decided to empirically test at a local grocery store on my behalf. Alas, this version comes in at 4.25 pounds...if those extra .75 pounds matter to you please be sure to go to Vat 19 and order the original (and true) 5 pounder.

Dramatic Return

2013-01-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, maybe not dramatic. I have severe disdain for drama.

In June of 2011 I went from being a cohabiting apartment dweller to a single homeowner. Embarrassingly, I didn't see it coming. And I greatly underestimated how much work went into home ownership.

Oh, and I started to take myself VERY SERIOUSLY. In retrospect, it was a very dry, stupid, boring period to know me. It was probably a public service that I quit posting.

The turning point came when The Neighbors wanted to do a progressive dinner and I volunteered for the main course. At one point I considered doing a roasted chicken. (You were warned. Serious people make roasted chicken. Seriously boring, dry people at least.)

I consulted with Kitchen Husband and he seemed concerned. Instead he suggested the following:

The Chicken Vindaloo is amazeballs. Get over yourself and eat it with the damn potatoes. And the irrelevance of the video snapped me back into a sense of normalcy. You know. The one where Gummy Bears weigh five pounds and Peeps are meant to be at least a foot big. Bring it. I'm baaaaack.

Presto Pasta Night #215

2011-05-27T16:09:00.001-04:00

Remember those cheesy public service announcements of the 1980's? (i.e.: 'The More You Know!') Ruth Daniels of Once Upon a Feast decided to turn those upside down by doing a weekly roundup of Public Pasta Announcements via Presto Pasta Nights. Much more cheese appropriate in my mind!

This week I had the honor of hosting the weekly roundup. I can't remember the last time I had an entire week where I so looked forward to the new message icon on my phone. You would have been excited too if you had bloggers from all over the world messaging you their delicious dishes for the week. Check out what I received!

I look forward to giving up my apartment dwelling ways and also having a garden full of foodie inspiration like Kirsten at From Kirsten's Kitchen to Yours. The mere thought of fresh, peppery arugula combining with the nutty, salty profile of pecorino romano cheese has my taste buds all riled up. Added bonus? She gives some great tips for growing your own arugula if you are a newbie gardener.

Cacio e Pepe (Pasta with Pecorino and Cracked Pepper):

The purists may not approve but I adore the trend of non-traditional pesto. Anamiko of Taste Junction created a pesto of meaty walnuts and bright parsley to douse this weeks submission with. This dish makes me so excited that I packed the food processor as an 'essential' kitchen item to be unpacked the first night.

Parsley Pesto Pasta:

While packing for the move I found my grandmother's lasagna pan. Unusable now for its intended purpose because the lining flakes into the food, I am trying to figure out how to use it as a decorative centerpiece. Heather from Girli Chef brought back fond childhood memories by using cottage cheese in her lasagna dish. Totally Grandma approved!

Still Married Lasagna:

Was the book better than the movie? Who cares! Let's focus on the food. I am smitten with Tina's blog Life in the Slow Lane at Squirrel Head Manor where she reviews books AND then makes a dish based on the book.

The Hemingway classic Farewell to Arms inspired a dish of double carbs, bacon, and onions. Right? I would read the entire cannon if they were all this delicious.

Pasta Asciutta:

I know it isn't quite the same as the heat in Malaysia but the temperature in Michigan finally motivated me to turn on the air conditioning this week. And begin looking for cold pasta dishes. Jen, from Taste of Home, supplied a scrumptious cold dish perfect for beating the heat.

Korean Cold Noodles -- Bibim Naengmyeon:

Yes, flavor combination is important -- sweet peas, salty bacon, and creamy cheese is perfection. But don't get so distracted that you miss the lovely flower shape of the raviolis that Tandy created on Lavender and Lime.

Pea and Bacon Ravioli with a Blue Cheese Sauce:

For me the mouth feel is the emotive part of a finished dish. (As in, it tasted good but was it sincere?) Imagining the crispy carby goodness created by Krista of The Beet Reporter is almost too much for me to handle right now.

Pasta Patties:

I really do hope that Michelle at Ms Enplace gives us an update on her dear friends from Joplin. With all of the craziness (and supposed stress) of packing for the move it was a (nice) slap in the face to remember I am blessed to have a home to move into soon. Good to be reminded that a boiling over pot in nothing in the grand scheme. (Not that any of us have ever had a pot boil over...)

A Quick Herby Pasta: 

At first glance the thumbnail in my email made me think that Mangocheeks of Allotment 2 Kitchen was being an overachiever and submitting four different dishes. Then I read the full post and realized that each quadrant was showcasing the progression of the dish. In what might be one of the most awkward sentences I have ever typed, my tongue tingles when I read the ingredient list.

Mango Pickle Lentil Pasta Bake:

One of my favorite childhood memories is of eating canned sardines on crackers with my grandfather. I adore that Linguina of Pastificio Dei Campi: The Blog resolved what to make for Father's Day this year already!

Pasta with Sardines...Sustainable Sardines!:

I am planning on spending Memorial Day Weekend with my best friend in the woods. After setting up camp we are going mushroom hunting. Gilli, author of So So Simple Food, must think we are going to come back with quite a haul and has inspired me with a mushroom dish. Wish us luck!

Orecchetti with Mushroom Sauce:

Rounding out this week's roundup we have a submission by Daphne from More Than Words where she is trying to increase her vegetable intake. With a dish this delicious that won't be hard!

Tomato Basil Soup with Spinach and Ricotta Ravioli:

A special thank you to all of the bloggers who made my first time hosting experience absolutely wonderful! If you are interested in participating in a roundup please be sure to check our Presto Pasta Night for details.

Next week's roundup will be hosted by Ruth of Once Upon a Feast. Please consider joining in these very important, and oh so cheesy, Public Pasta Announcements.

Hiatus & Presto Pasta Hosting

2011-05-23T02:14:00.001-04:00

Recently I had a few short-notice major life changes occur. The entire ruckus caused me to become a first-time home buyer. Yeah!

Filling out tedious amounts of paperwork, packing your life into tiny boxes, and bribing friends to carry your stuff doesn't leave for much fun kitchen time. Boo.

Thanks to Google Reader my favorites bar is loaded with inspiration that will keep me busy for months to come after I get settled. Want a back load of inspiration for yourself? Go follow Presto Pasta Nights!

(Seriously. Go check out the site. I promise to still be here.)

Such a fun idea brought to you by Ruth at Once Upon a Feast. Since the bloggers are not pressured into themes or secret ingredients you find this eclectic mix of fabulous pasta dishes.

What would you share? The options are almost limitless. Wikipedia lists over 150 pasta shapes. Now consider the different ingredients and preparation techniques. Someone much better at math could tell you the astounding number of possibilities that exist.

I am excited to announce that I am hosting this week's Roundup. Joining the fun is way easy:

Your dish must have some type of noodle. Hot, cold, salad, soup, main, dessert...doesn't matter what you creatively do with your noodles, just make sure they are in the dish.

You will need to mention that you are submitting the dish as your entry for this week's roundup for Presto Pasta Night. Be sure to link to the website!

Since I am hosting this week you will need to mention and link to Slap Happy Kitchen.

Now that your post is finished you will need to email me a link to your post and a picture of your dish to trish (at) slaphappykitchen (dot) com. Please also CC Ruth in case I am hit by a bus or have technological difficulties. Her email address is ruth (at) 4everykitchen (dot) com.

Please have your entries emailed no later than Thursday evening so we can all be drooling on our keyboards by Friday evening.

Applesauce

2011-03-18T08:00:00.000-04:00

I have a tumultuous relationship with apples. When I was seven years old I bit into a fresh, juicy beauty and lost a loose tooth. Okay, I didn’t ‘lose’ it – the bloody bit was lodged into the apple as my mouth filled with the saline taste of blood. My grandfather had to ‘start’ my apples for me after that experience, but I still associate apples with pain, unless they are baked into a pie or mushed into applesauce.

I had three apples leftover from the Fondue Partee, which isn’t enough for a pie but the perfect number for a small amount of homemade applesauce.

Recipe:

3 Apples, Peeled and Cored
½ Cup Apple Juice
1/8 Cup Sugar
½ Tsp. Penzy's Cake Spice
Caramel Sauce for Drizzling

After peeling and coring your apples quarter and slice the remnants. Place the apples, apple juice, sugar, and cake spice into a small sauce pan. Cook over medium-low heat for fifteen minutes until soft and plump.

Hit with an immersion blender until desired consistency is achieved. Drizzle with caramel sauce and enjoy piping hot.

Cheddar Whiskey Soup

2011-03-16T08:00:00.001-04:00

Throwing a parteee means you are going to have leftovers. Sometimes it is from over buying, such as the lemon abundance I had from the Bloody Mary Buffet. Other times you have half a crock pot of Cheddar Whiskey Fondue leftover.

It seemed irresponsible to my arteries to finish the leftover fondue in its natural state, although my taste buds thought they were just being overly cautious. I also had a week where I was going to be home and hadn’t yet made a crock pot of Reset Soup…

So I concocted a recipe that took my half crock pot of fondue and transformed it into a big stock pot of lunch goodness for the week. Lean proteins and hearty veggies floating about in cheddar cheese broth? Yes please.

Recipe:

1 ½ Lbs. Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
1 Lemon
1 Bay Leaf
1 ½ Lbs. Fingerling Potatoes (Favorite Variety)
2 Cups Diced Celery
2 Cups Diced Carrots
1 Head of Broccoli, Florets Trimmed
1 14-Oz. Can of Corn
6 Cups of Cheddar Whiskey Fondue

Fill a large stock pot half way with water. Quarter the lemon and squeeze the juice into the stock pot. Oh, the heck with it, throw in the remains of the lemons. Add the bay leaf and bring to a rolling boil. Place chicken into stock pot and poach for 20 minutes.

While the chicken is poaching begin preparing your vegetables. I had picked up a bag of ‘assorted’ fingerling potatoes and was absolutely delighted to find it included the fancy blue ones.

Scrub the potatoes and cut into bite sized pieces. I prefer to leave the skins on potatoes. Not only does it add more nutrition and depth of flavor, it also saves you the pain in the ass work of peeling.

Add the potatoes to the poaching chicken and let cook for another 10 minutes. Steam the celery, carrots, and broccoli until tender-crisp, about 10 minutes.

Poaching downstairs and steaming up top.
Greatest. Stock. Pot. Ever.

Reserve four cups of the poaching liquid. Drain the chicken and potatoes. Remove the lemon wedges and bay leaf. Place chicken onto a cutting board to cool.

Place the reserved poaching liquid back into your stock pot. Add your Cheddar Whiskey Fondue, one cup at a time, to the poaching liquid. Stir until you achieve a broth like consistency. Add the potatoes and steamed veggies to the pot. Shred the chicken breasts and invite to the parteee. Allow the soup to simmer on extremely low heat for one hour.

Mac & Cheese

2011-03-14T08:00:00.029-04:00

What would you say, standing in front of a rapt audience, if you had five minutes? What if you had a PowerPoint that would auto-forward the deck every 15 seconds, whether you were ready or not?

Ignite Lansing answers this question. Seriously, take a few minutes and click on the link. I will still be here. Promise!

My friend Bil Moore spoke of his experience doing this type of presentation. Again, I will still be here so please click on his blog link here. It will take you maybe two minutes to read about his experience and five minutes to watch the video.

I think the most important point that Bil makes is that this event occurs because of people and businesses who have taken the initiative to create a community they wish to live in.

So if Ignite Lansing ignited Bil, what did it do for me? It ignited my kitchen. If this presentation by Jeff Siarto doesn’t increase your appreciation for homemade Mac & Cheese and make you long for a piping hot bowl – well, you might be dead in your soul. Sorry about that.

And then I discovered the Pioneer Woman blog. Her step-by-step directions for making this dish may be found here. I won’t judge you for licking your computer screen, but your co-workers might so please use caution if you are in a public area.

Recipe:
4 Cups Elbow Macaroni
1 Egg, Beaten
¼ Cup Butter
¼ Cup All Purpose Flour
2 ½ Cups Milk
2 Tsp. Dry Mustard
¾ Lb. Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Shredded
¼ Lb. Smoked Provolone, Shredded
Salt & Pepper
1 Cup Seasoned Bread Crumbs
3 Tbs. Butter

Cook the macaroni knocking a few minutes off of the package directions. It will finish cooking and plumping in the oven with the cheese. That is sort of its destiny.

In a large pot melt the butter. Add the flour and continuously whisk over medium-low heat. I always get nervous with roux and undercook. Don’t be like me! Keep it moving and wait for it to hit a lovely golden color.

Add milk and mustard. Get back to whisking. Once thick reduce heat to low.

Remove ¼ cup of the mixture and slowly add to the beaten egg. Use temperance to temper the egg and not cook it. Whisk until smooth.

Incorporate egg mixture into pot. Guess what you get to do? Whisk it smooth.

Add your shredded cheese a handful at a time, stirring until smooth before adding the next handful. Season the cheesy goodness with salt and pepper.

Pour in the drained, cooked macaroni and mix. Better try a bite or two to make sure that cheese sauce worked out…

I typically crush potato chips onto my Mac & Cheese for a salty crunch. Somehow that felt a bit too low-class for this dish so I combined the bread crumbs and remaining butter in a small bowl. Work it thoroughly with your fingers until you have pea sized crumbs.

Transfer the Mac & Cheese to a large baking dish. Top with the buttered seasoned bread crumbs. Bake in an oven at 350 degrees for thirty minutes.

This is my submission to Presto Pasta Nights, which is being hosted this week by Debbi at Debbi Does Dinner. Thanks Debbi!

Peanut Butter Fondue & Fudge

2011-03-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

The Peanut Butter Fondue actually became an unexpected twofer recipe. We had decanted the leftovers into containers. The next day the leftovers had a notable fudge like quality. So good we didn’t bother to melt and instead scooped with spoons. Spread your leftovers into a parchment paper lined baking dish for a neater presentation for your next day treat.

Recipe:

54 Oz Peanut Butter
16 Oz Cream Cheese
1 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Cup Heavy Cream
4 Tsp. Vanilla
15 Large Marshmallows
2 Tbs. Corn Starch
Selection of Sweet Dippers (Click here for ideas)

Put the peanut butter, cream cheese, brown sugar, cream, vanilla, and marshmallows into your crock pot. Do NOT attempt to stir, it is all very sticky.

Give it 45 minutes on low to loosen itself up. Now for the fun part! Pop the lid off and Battle Ship the marshmallows. Once the marshmallows have dissolved you can stir the whole pot.

At some point during the evening the peanut butter will spit out all of its peanut oil and begin to separate. Mix the cornstarch with a bit of water and mix into the pot. The taste will not be altered and food magic will once again occur.

Chocolate Mint Fondue

2011-03-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

Raise your hands if you like Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies! Oh, so many hands in the air. Millions of Girl Scout cookies are sold each year and Thin Mints account for 25% of those sales.

So how do you like yours? Personally, I am a fan of sticking them in the freezer. Cold chocolate melting and melding into the mint is perfection. If you are impatient, this fondue is perfect because you no longer have to wait for that pesky melting part.

This recipe was orignally posted on A Year of Slow Cooking and can be found here. We doubled the recipe because we had a large crock pot and didn’t want it to burn. It was so popular we had to request a late comer bring an additional bag of chocolate chips so we could do another round…to help you out I will triple the recipe for you!

Recipe:

36 Oz Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
1 ½ Cup Heavy Cream
6 Tbs. Peppermint Schnapps
Selection of Sweet Dippers (Click here for ideas)

Load your crock pot with chocolate chips. Add the heavy cream and peppermint schnapps and give it good stir. Cook on low for two hours, stirring every thirty minutes. Sneak a few of your favorites before announcing it is ready, because it will go quickly.

Cheddar Whiskey Fondue

2011-03-09T08:00:00.005-05:00

To the tune of Facts of Life:

You take the booze, you take the cheese
You take them both, and there you have
A fantastic dip, a fantastic dip

Bwhahahaha, let’s see you get that out of your head for the rest of the day…

Recipe:

2 Medium White Onions
3 Tsp Butter
9 Tsp Corn Flour
48 Oz Cheddar Cheese, Shredded
¾ Cups of Whiskey
1 Quart Milk
Selection of Savory Dippers (Click here for ideas)

Grate the onions. In a skillet, over low heat, melt the butter. Add the corn flour and onions. Keep it moving for five minutes. Pour contents of skillet into crock pot.

Add the Cheddar cheese to the crock pot. Stir in whiskey and milk. Turn the crock pot on high to get the cheese melting, about an hour.

Remove the lid and place on low. Keep an eye on it throughout the evening; if it continues to bubble and begins to burn on the sides of the crock pot, turn it off entirely.

PIzza Fondue

2011-03-08T08:00:00.002-05:00

Do not mistake this for a vat of warm marinara! While it is pizza sauce based there is a lot of white cheese melted throughout. Enough that pulling your freshly dunked piece of bread will result in a little bit of glorious stringiness.

I chose all white cheeses to add variety because the other cheese based fondues were sharp cheddar based. Not because I am snooty.

Recipe:

2 27-Oz Cans of Roasted Garlic Pizza Sauce
1 27-Oz Can of Zesty Pizza Sauce
1 Cup Dry Red Wine
32-Oz Farmers Cheese, Shredded
8-Oz Mozzarella Cheese, Shredded
8-Oz White Cheddar Onion Cheese, Shredded
5 Tbs. Dried Italian Herb Mix
Selection of Savory Dippers (Click here for ideas)

Pour your cup of red wine into the crock pot. Pour a glass for yourself and your fabulous co-host. Add all of the pizza sauce and dried Italian herb mix and stir.

Incorporate your cheeses and mix thoroughly. We had cubed our cheese, which was a mistake. It took a really long time and a quick pop into an oven to get it melting, so shred it first so you don’t have our panicky moments.

Turn the crock pot on high to get the cheese melting, about an hour. Remove the lid and place on low. Keep an eye on it throughout the evening; if it continues to bubble and begins to burn on the sides of the crock pot, turn it off entirely.

Having A Gouda Time: Fondue, Fondue, and More Fondue

2011-03-07T08:00:00.003-05:00

Remember my friend Liz from the Beanie Brownies experiment? Well, during the Beanie Brownie experiment I had mentioned that crock pots recipes can be really healthy because you use leaner meats, lots of vegetables, and spices instead of oil. So I leant her a cookbook of crock pot recipes. Two days later this shows up on my FaceBook:

Unfortunately, the fondue party exasperated what had been a slight skin allergy to dairy for Liz. But it gave her a great reason to research the non-dairy product world and blog about it here. (And brag about her recent weight loss ass kicking. Rightfully so.)

Two hosts, six crock pots, and lots of interesting ideas for good dippables…

This week I will be posting the following four recipes from this event:

Pizza Fondue
Whiskey Cheddar Fondue
Chocolate Mint Fondue
Peanut Butter Fondue

So much cheesy-desserty goodness! Massive amounts, in fact, which is why we had an abundant (ridiculous?) number of fondue dippers available for guests.

Savory Fondue Dippers:

Crusty Bread (Cubed)
Pretzel Rods
Celery
Asparagus
Broccoli
Potato Chips
Bacon
Wheat Crackers

Sweet Fondue Dippers:

Angel Food Cake (Cubed)

Oreo Cookies

Double Chocolate Cookies

Strawberries

Apple Slices

Banana Slices

Marshmallows

Donut Holes

Reset Soup

2011-03-04T08:00:00.002-05:00

When I am not living out of a suitcase for work, I have the benefit of working from home. These weeks tend to be busier because I need to play catch up from all the emails that were flying about while I was flying about.

So my problem with food becomes reversed. When I travel a lot, I eat complete junk. When I work from home, uhm, I forget to eat. Phone starts ringing, emails start zinging, and before I know it the day is over.

I try to combat this by making a great big pot of soup on Sunday night than can be decanted into lunch size portions for the week. I tend to make Reset Soup after a particularly poor food choice week. It is a play on Weight Watcher’s Mexican Zero Point Soup with a few preference changes.

Usually I am not a fan of vegetable soup. Poorly prepared it is a bunch of veggies floating in a thin, bland broth. The roasted red pepper and garlic puree that is added to the vegetable broth resolves that concern and makes a zesty broth for your favorite vegetables. The below recipe makes about 15 cups of soup.

Recipe:

2 Cups Green Beans
3 Yellow Squash, Peeled
1 Jalapeño
1 Poblano Pepper
1 Spanish Onion
1 Green Pepper
1 14-Oz. Can Corn, Drained
1 14-Oz. Can Diced Tomatoes
1 14-Oz. Can Garbanzo Beams, Drained
1 Bunch Mustard Greens, Coarsely Chopped
½ Cup Cilantro, Coarsely Chopped
3 Cloves Garlic
1 15-Oz Jar Roasted Red Peppers, Drained
6 Cups Vegetable Broth
2 Tbs. Lemon Juice
1 Tsp. Dried Oregano
½ Tsp. Cumin
1 Tsp. Salt

Yes, it is true; this recipe requires a lot of prep work. Chop the green beans, yellow squash, jalapeño, poblano pepper, onion, and green pepper into your preferred size for soup. I like bite-sized, personally. I’ve never trusted a soup where the veggies are diced so small that I can no longer distinguish between a sliver of garlic or onion, but to each their own.

Throw all of the veggies into your crock pot. Relish the fact that you only need a can opener to add the corn, beans, and tomato.

Using a blender, food processor, or immersion blender puree the roasted red peppers. Add the garlic, lemon juice, oregano, cumin, and salt and blend a bit more. Add the roasted red pepper mixture to the crock pot. Finally add the vegetable broth and give the whole thing a good stir.

Cook on either High for 3 – 4 hours or Low for 6 – 8 hours. Thirty minutes before the end of the cooking time add the mustard greens and cilantro.

Chicken Stew with Pumpkin & Black Beans

2011-03-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

It seems trite to say that an afternoon of deep fried food and yummy racecar cake would make your body crave a vegetable. I tried the thesaurus and it seems equally silly to say our weekend of gluttony gave way to giving eyeteeth for lean protein and vegetables, but that is what happened.

I had originally found a recipe for Pumpkin Chili via the Food Network Magazine. The original recipe can be found here. I forgot to take the recipe with me grocery shopping and winged a good deal of this dish, I think the correct phrase is to say this was ‘adapted’.

While I have stated before that I do not agree with a lot of traditional purists when it comes to defining chili, I can say that this was NOT a chili. A hearty bowl of goodness? Especially when your body is desperate for something that resembles nutrition? Absolutely.

Recipe:

2 Lbs Boneless Chicken Breast
3 Chipotle Peppers in Adobe Sauce, Chopped (Adobe Sauce Reserved)
1 Poblano Pepper, Chopped
2 Medium White Onions, Chopped
4 Cloves Garlic, Grated
1 Yellow Pepper, Chopped
1 15-Oz Can Corn, Drained
1 15-Oz Can Black Beans, Drained
3 Tsp. Dried Oregano
4 Tbs. Chili Powder
1 Tbs. Black Pepper
½ Tbs. Salt
1 15-Oz Can Diced Tomatoes
1 15-Oz Can Pumpkin Puree
4 Cups Chicken Stock
1 Bunch Mustard Greens, Torn

Marinate the chicken breasts overnight in the reserved adobe sauce. Cut into bite sized pieces and place in the bottom of your crock pot. Place the chipotle peppers, poblano pepper, white onion, garlic, yellow pepper, corn, and black beans over the chicken. Sprinkle the oregano, chili powder, pepper, and salt on top of the veggies.

In a separate bowl mix the diced tomatoes, pumpkin puree, and chicken stock until blended. Pour into crock pot and cook on high for eight hours. Thirty minutes before serving, stir in the mustard greens. Be amazed at how positively your body responds to having real food put into it.

Roasted Garlic & Rosemary Mashed Cauliflower

2011-02-23T09:00:00.001-05:00

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” -- Mark Twain

I love cauliflower. I love mashed potatoes. But I have always been suspect of the Dieter Conspiracy that mashed cauliflower could replace mashed potatoes.

The verdict of my suspicions? As judge and jury I declare mashed cauliflower to be phenomenal by its own merits but not a replacement of mashed potatoes.

The texture is way different. Being a texture freak about food this is where I would usually opine about which is better. Ultimately, the textures of both foods are good but I would be way angry at the texture of mashed cauliflower if I was expecting mashed potatoes.

If you accept this simple truth you will truly enjoy this version of mashed cauliflower:

Recipe

1 Head of Cauliflower
1 Head of Garlic
2 Tbs. Olive Oil
1 Tbs. Dried Rosemary
¼ Cup Parmesan Cheese
3 Scallions, Cut into ½” Pieces
3 Tbs. Butter
3 Tbs. Milk
Pepper & Salt

Prepare your garlic-rosemary goodness. Cut the top off of the head of garlic and place onto a small sheet of aluminum foil. Drizzle on the olive oil and top with the rosemary. Tent the aluminum foil and place the package in your toaster oven for forty minutes at 400 degrees.

Bring a large pot of water to a rapid boil. Cut the cauliflower into individual florets and boil for six minutes. Drain in a colander. Place cauliflower onto paper towels to remove any additional moisture.

Place the cauliflower into your serving dish. Grab the head of garlic firmly at the bottom of the bulb and smoosh out the roasted garlic goodness. Add the parmesan cheese, scallions, butter, milk, pepper, and salt. Use an immersion blender to achieve your desired consistency.

Not Potatoey Goodness. Still Delicious.

Deep Fried Candy Bars

2011-02-18T19:04:00.000-05:00

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.” – Erma Bombeck

I had tried deep frying candy bars before and was not that impressed. The first bite was amazing but quickly turned nauseating. Obviously, the best solution is to deep fry the bite sized mini candy bars instead of the full sized version. Duh.

Also, if you purchase the assorted version you get the whole life is like a box of chocolate thing but without any deeper meaning. Just lots and lots of puffy pastry to nosh on before you get to the good stuff.

Recipe:

Mini Candy Bars
Sweet Batter (Click Here for the Recipe)

The only suck to using the mini candy bars is you have to open a lot more packages. Oh, and remembering to drop them into the batter instead of your mouth.

Once in the batter make sure they are thoroughly coated. If not you end up having to deal with greasy, burnt, disgusting chocolate running rampant in your oil.

Heat the oil to 375 degrees and have the fry basket already submerged into the oil. Place the candy into the deep fryer, careful to not overcrowd. It was towards the end of our fryathon and I was losing patience with this rule. Don’t follow my lead on this, I spent a lot of time playing surgeon and separating Siamese twins.

After two minutes pull the basket out of the oil and let the excess oil to drain away before serving.

Scotch Eggs

2011-02-18T18:24:00.000-05:00

I first met Kitchen Husband when we were living in Mt. Pleasant, MI -- he a townie; me an unimpressed transplant.

I know, I know. They have a casino. And I will grant you it is a great place to visit. It is probably also a wonderful place to live if you are raising a family. Single twenty something? Be warned that there is an eighty-four churches to zero malls ratio in full effect.

The Mountain Town Station Brewery was a reprieve. Which do I like more, the Railyard Raspberry Wheat (sweet & crisp) or the Chip River Weizen (banana & cloves)?

Doesn’t matter ‘cause they do beer flights. In itty-bitty extra adorable glasses. See?!?

But this is not a post about beer. (Unfortunately.) It is a post about Scotch Eggs. Mountain Town Station is where Kitchen Husband and I first discovered this odd appetizer. Taking two of the best parts of breakfast and melding them together in a deep fryer to serve as an appetizer for dinner is oddly genius.

The recipe we used was Emeril’s Kicked Up Scotch Eggs, which can be found here.

Since this was our first time doing this recipe, we were wary of undercooking the meat. We went super thin on the sausage and doubled the number of eggs being used. In retrospect, we have no idea how Emeril manages to cook a full pound and a half of sausage around four eggs in eight minute intervals.

The importance of getting the meat even cannot be stressed enough

Recipe:

1 Lb. Sausage
9 Hard Boiled Eggs, Peeled
½ Cup Flour
½ Tsp. Cayenne
½ Tsp. Salt
1 Beaten Egg
1 Cup Bread Crumbs

Wrap each egg in a thin, even layer of sausage. Prepare a little factory line to complete your meaty goodness packages.

Place the flour on a plate, the beaten egg in a bowl, and combine the cayenne, salt, and bread crumbs onto another plate. Dredge the eggs through the flour, dip into the egg, and then roll around in the bread crumbs.

Heat the oil to 350 degrees. Place the meat packages, three at a time, into the fry basket and lower into the hot oil. Allow to fry for four minutes. Open the fryer and give them a quick flip. Fry for an additional four minutes. Pull the basket out and let the excess oil drain away.

Deep Fried Oreos

2011-02-17T16:00:00.003-05:00

Chips Ahoy seized a marketing opportunity by taking their classic cookie and repackaging it as being designed for nuking. Oh repackaging! Whether you spend the extra money on this actual product or just toss the original into the microwave, it is the only way to eat this mass marketed big box product.

Whatever food magic happens when you nuke a Chips Ahoy is actually what happens to the chocolate cookie part of an Oreo when it is deep fried. Only the Oreo is polite enough to bring its own condiment by having the cream filling actually become a creamy frosting.

Recipe:

Oreos
Sweet Batter (Click Here for Recipe)

Toss your Oreos into the freezer. Just like the S’Mores and Twinkies you want the gooey middle part to soften in the hot oil but not completely dissipate. Dunk and completely cover with a layer of sweet batter. Heat the oil to 375 degrees and have the fry basket already submerged into the oil. Place the cookies in threesomes into the oil. Close the lid and wait three minutes. Pull the basket out of the oil and let excess oil drain away. Enjoy giving Chips Ahoy some serious competition!

Wait for it...

Tah-Dah!

Hush Puppies

2011-02-17T09:00:00.007-05:00

The Kitchen Husband and I had been maniacally handling the menu planning for this event when it occurred to me that I should check in with The Scientist to see if he had any requests. Science won again (it always does) when he pointed out that we had forgotten a fried classic: The Hush Puppy.

Apparently The Scientist and I are aficionados of hush puppies. Or at least really picky about what qualifies as being proper.

I despise when a restaurant drops balls of corn meal into hot batter and calls it a day. You end up with this greasy but somehow dry blob of grossness. Unacceptable. So we surmised that the hush puppies in our heads had some ingredient to keep the cornmeal moist.

Also, my favorite versions have little flecks of green and red. We completely guessed on ingredients. I don’t know if we got it *right* in the traditional sense, but I can tell you that these turned out great.

Recipe:

1 Package Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
1 Egg
1/3 Cup Soy Milk
¼ Cup All Purpose Flour
¼ Cup Grated White Onion
1 Tbs. Dried Parsley
1 Tsp. Paprika
Couple Drops Hot Sauce

Mix all of the above ingredients together in a large bowl. Heat oil to 350 degrees and have the fry basket already submerged into the oil. Use a small ice cream scoop to carefully plop batter into the oil. Close the lid and prepare to find food magic three minutes later. When you pull the basket out of the oil to let the excess oil drain away you will be greeted with perfectly rotund balls of greatness.

Deep Fried Twinkies

2011-02-16T16:00:00.003-05:00

I know that deep frying a Twinkie is most likely seen as a trite cliché in the bourgeoisie world of real food bloggers. But The Kitchen Husband had never had this treat AND he knew a creepy amount of information about Twinkie the Kid. (I didn’t know he existed either, no worries.)

I had tried this dish in a restaurant in Downtown Louisville this past summer. Since it has become a bit of a food cliché, everyone tries to put their own twist on it. The restaurant served it with a warm raspberry sauce. It was divine.

Not having raspberries but also never disappointing me The Kitchen Husband produced a jar of Lingonberry Jam recently purchased from an Ikea trip. The jam worked well because the berries have the awesome sweet but tart thang in their corner. The tartness was perfect for cutting what could have been a sickly sweet batter, sponge cake, and vanilla cream trio.

Recipe:

Twinkies
Sweet Batter (Click Here for Recipe)
Lingonberry Jam

Toss the Twinkies into the freezer. The creamy vanilla middle is going to disappear. If you don’t freeze the cakes it goes to dessert purgatory. If they are frozen it floods into the sponge cake. The latter is preferable.

Submerge the frozen Twinkies into the sweet batter. Heat the oil to 375 degrees and have the fry basket already submerged into the oil. Place the cakes in pairs into the oil. Close the lid and wait three minutes. Pull the basket out of the oil and let excess oil drain away. Top the hot logs with lingoberry jam and serve immediately.

Deep Fried Pickles

2011-02-16T08:00:00.003-05:00

Deep fried pickles are the perfect bar food. Salty brined goodness coated in batter and dipped into something creamy. What would happen if you incorporated another classic pairing of pretzels and mustard? Perfection is what would happen.

The June 2010 Food Network Magazine featured a reader submitted recipe of this perfection. The original recipe can be found here.

Recipe:

6 Large Dill Pickles, Sliced Into Thick Chips
2 Cups Salted Pretzels
2 Large Eggs, Beaten
½ Cup All Purpose Flour

Lay your pickles onto a layer of paper towel and cover with more paper towels to remove excess juices. While the pickles are drying pulse the pretzels in a food processor. I thought it would be best to leave this chunky but will do more finely next time for easier coating.

Set up a little factory line by putting the flour onto a plate, the eggs into a bowl, and the pretzels onto a plate. Dredge the pickles slices in flour. Dunk into the egg wash. Then roll around in the pretzels until thoroughly coated.

Heat your oil to 350 degrees. This time you can fill the fry basket before lowering! By fill I mean place into a loosely packed single layer. Ceremoniously lower the basket into the oil and let bobble about for two minutes. Pull the basket out and let the excess oil drain away.

Why stop the clogging of your arteries with just the fried food? Don’t forget something creamy and fat laden to dunk the little buggers in.

Originally I was going to follow the original recipe for the mustard dipping sauce but was met with three challenges. First the Kitchen Husband was running low on both types of mustards. Second I learned that he does odd things like buy curry powder in bulk and then decant it into bottles clearly labeled celery salt. Finally, I had forgotten to reserve some grated onion before making the Hush Puppy batter. Not what I set out to do but it came out off the cuff great!

Recipe:

3 Squeezes of Mayonaisse
2 Squeezes of Yellow Mustard
1 Squeeze of Dijon Mustard
½ Tsp. Paprika
¾ Tsp. Garlic Powder
1 Tsp. Curry Powder

Mix all above ingredients in a small bowl.