If you have the passion for and desire to dance, and you have even a little bit of talent for this art form, only one thing stands in the way of your success as a dancer—you.

In other words, you must master yourself to master dance. That’s how you become a world-class dancer.

Your negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, lack of courage, low self-esteem, self-defeating attitude, disorganization, trouble focusing, unsupportive habits, or low energy hold you back. To become a world-class dancer—as well as a person able to maintain healthy relationships and live life with joy, enthusiasm, and confidence, you need to work on yourself. Specifically, you need to focus on personal development as well as dance development.

Why Dancers Need Personal Development

I often get asked why a dancer would need to focus on personal development as much as the development of technique, musicality, or stage presence. The answer is simple.

If the dancer’s mindset or habits don’t allow him to step into the best version of himself, he won’t realize his potential as a dancer. Personal development and dance development go hand in hand.

And as long as the dancer is standing in his own way, he can’t reach the level so success that will make him world-class.

When a dancer begins to work on developing supportive mindsets and habits—those that support success in dance and in life—they move forward toward their dance goals much faster. They get out of their own way. They step into their best selves on stage, in class, and in life. And they achieve their dreams.

A Dancer in His Own Way

Consider this imaginary (but common) high-school or first-year professional dancer who is in his own way.

Every night after work, he grabs fast-food on his way home from the dance studio. Because he is physically tired, he sits down in front of the television or computer or pulls out his phone and begins to scroll. While doing so, he eats snacks or desserts.

His homework or pile of bills and other “things to handle” remain untouched, including a heap of laundry on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. He figures he has time to do that later…or over the weekend.

Before he knows it, it’s late. He quickly gets ready for bed.

The alarm goes off after just six hours of somewhat restless sleep. He hits the alarm a few times, then gets up and showers. Looking at the clock, he realizes he is running late. “Damn. I’m always late,” he says aloud.

He pulls on his clothes, hurriedly stuffs his dance gear into a bag, and rushes out the door.

On the way to the studio, he grabs coffee and a donut and eats them as he walks or drives.

He arrives at the studio in the nick of time, takes his place at the barr, and manages to make it through ballet class even though he didn’t have time to warm up, stretch, or do the strengthening exercises he tells himself every day he will do—but never does.

He drinks a bit of water during class but runs out—since he didn’t have time to fill the bottle before class.

Halfway through the morning, his energy begins to lag. So he goes to the canteen and gets a Coke. He sips that, rather than water, during the next rehearsal. Even with the sugar and caffeine, he has to push hard to make it through the rest of the morning’s work.

By lunchtime, he really just wants to take a nap. He glances at his phone and notices a bunch of texts from his girlfriend and an email from his landlord, but he just turns off the phone. * I’m too busy for that now,* he thinks.

He stops to look at the bulletin board to see if he was cast in the role he wanted in the next production. He discovers that he has been cast—but in the third cast, which will not likely perform. In response to this news, he thinks, The director hates me. I’m a lousy dancer. I might as well give up. And there is definitely no reason to try harder.

Feeling lousy about himself, he goes to eat with some buddies. The heavy food he eats at lunch makes him feel better initially. Plus, he has downed a big bottle of apple juice and eaten a brownie, which has given him a sugar boost. He feels physically strong and mentally alert when he starts rehearsals, but, an hour later, his body feels like lead, and he can’t think of anything but going home and taking a nap.

So he digs in his dance bag and pulls out some candy and a bottle of water he purchased at lunch. And that gives him a short-lived burst of energy and mental clarity…enough to get him through to the end of work.

He’s too worn out afterward to stretch or go to the sauna—let alone to do the strength training he should have done first thing upon arriving at the studio. So he showers, grabs his stuff, and heads home.

And the cycle begins again—fast-food for dinner, time spent in front of screens, responsibilities left unhandled, late to bed…and another tired, rushed morning.

Issues with Going Pro Early

Does that sound like a recipe for success? No.

But it’s a common scenario for a lot of young dancers.

Dancers go pro early. I’ve known of ballerinas who started joined a professional company at age 16. Male dancers often enter a company at age 17 or 18. That means they start working as professional dancers without the four years of college most young people get to mature and learn to live on their own.

Of course, many young male dancers live away from home while studying dance through their high school years (if not earlier). They also do this without learning the life skills that come with age and experience. Typically, they have help if they need it, and supervision. (Most live in dorms or homes provided by the ballet school or dance program.) And that means that, when they enter a company, they haven’t lived outside a protected environment.

Unlike kids who go to college, they enter the workforce immediately—without every having worked or lived on their own. That, in and of itself, can create problems as they transition from school to career.

And entering a professional work environment is nothing like going away to study dance and living in a boarding school type environment (or even attending college). Suddenly, these young men must cook for themselves, pay bills on time, do their own laundry, show up to work on time, manage a schedule, and navigate company politics and relationships.

This can be tough for some.

Overcome Common Pro Dancer Struggles

Many times, dancers—even while still in school—struggle to get better roles, feel more confident, show up to class on time, handle their schedules, manage stress, do what it takes to become a better partner, eat a more healthy diet, handle their finances, have energy in class and during performances, feel motivated, or have healthy relationships in and out of dance.

The list of challenges goes on and on.

And, of course, there are the challenges that come early, early on when a young boy chooses to dance. This includes being bullied, ostracized, and teased. Sometimes it even includes having a parent—usually his father—become unsupportive.

Many young male dancers end up depressed and suicidal. They don’t have the skills to cope with difficult classmates, parental issues, or feeling different and unaccepted.

While suicidal tendencies need to be handled by a therapist, many challenges can be overcome with personal development. By focusing on self growth, you develop the habits and mindsets that help you succeed—at dance and life. As a Certified High Performance Coach, I’ve seen this over and over again with my clients—including dancers struggling with low self-esteem, lack of courage, and inability to change unsupportive habits and mindsets.

Personal development is THE number one thing that successful people invest time, money, and energy into consistently. That’s why they succeed. And that’s how they ensure continued success.

Personal Development Leads to Success

A dancer needs a great teacher or ballet master to make him a world-class dancer. But someone can have world-class dance skill and technique and still not have the mindset or habits necessary to truly become world-class.

To get the edge that helps them become world-class, dancers need specific mindsets and habits—ones proven scientifically to result in success. According to the world’s most extensive study of high performers—including Olympic athletes, performers (like Usher), celebrities (like Oprah), and Fortune 50 CEOs—successful people have made a habit of:

• Seeking clarity
• Generating energy
• Raising necessity
• Increasing productivity
• Developing influence
• Demonstrating courage

These people habitually master their:

• Psychology
• Physiology
• Effectiveness and focus
• People skills
• Presence
• Purpose

These same habits benefit dancers. In fact, these habits—including habitual ways of thinking—are proven to lead to higher degrees of success in any endeavor or life arena.

Start Personal Development at Any Time

If you or your son are sixteen or seventeen, it’s time to work on the skills that will ensure success in the studio, on stage, and in life. After all, at this age, the focus turns to pre-pro dance programs and company contracts.

If you or your son are older, it’s not too late to add personal development into the training regimen. You can work on yourself at any age and make a difference in the results you get.

Any professional dancer who is not getting the results he wants—promotions, roles, or accolades—or is struggling with life in general—handling responsibilities, developing healthy relationships, or feeling unhappy or overwhelmed, would benefit from personal development. Any dancer who wants to level up from his current level of success to a new one…and become a world-class dancer…would benefit as well.

When a dancer works on himself—especially at an early stage in his career, this one action alone can make the difference between:

• getting or not getting a contract with a ballet company
• being the best or being mediocre
• being stuck in the corps de ballet or becoming a principal dancer

A Personal Development Program for Dancers

I’ve seen a lot of male dancers struggle—including my own son. And I am committed to helping them succeed—and thrive as dancers and as people. I want to help them become world-class dancers as well as at everything they do.

That’s why, after I became a Certified High Performance Coach, I created the High-Performance Dancer program. During this six-month program, I deliver the same science-backed, results-oriented sessions proven to help Olympians and other world-class athletes increase their level of success.

The High-Performance Dancer program helps dancers develop the same habits mentioned above—the ones that the highest performers develop to increase and maintain their success. Each session is delivered virtually using Zoom meeting. The only restriction on attendance is the ability to show up at the designated time and day and to have audio and video capability.

I work with dancers aged 16 and up. The groups are formed around age groups (16–18, 18–21, 21 and up). While I primarily work with male dancers, I am always happy to run a group for female dancers as well. (Contact me if you are interested in having me set up a group for your company or colleagues.) I am available for one-on-one Certified High Performance Coaching as well.

If you or someone you know wants to learn more or register for the next High-Performance Dancer program, click here.

And, please share this post with any male dancers you know who might want to work on their personal development. This is THE way to succeed…the way to becoming a world-class dancer.

Answers to Common Questions about Certified High Performance Coaching

Many people don’t understand or misunderstand the term “Certified High Performance Coaching.” So, I thought I’d provide answers to commonly-asked questions about Certified High Performance Coaching that might have arisen in your mind while reading this post.

What does “high performance” mean?

High Performance means developing the behaviors and mindsets that help you succeed beyond standard norms consistently over the long-term while maintaining positive well-being and relationships.

High performance is not about working harder or for more hours. It’s not only for those in business or for Olympic athletes…although it helps them in the same ways it helps a new mom, a college student, a CFO, a dancer, or an engineer. In other words, it’s for anyone.

What is Certified High Performance Coaching?

Certified High Performance Coaching is a form of personal development or growth that is super effective with just about anyone. It’s focused on helping you become the best version of yourself and constantly find a new level of success in every area of life.

Certified High Performance Coaching is a science-backed, results-oriented, proven coaching curriculum that focuses on empowering questions, development of supportive habits, creation of success-helpful mindset, and use of specific outcome-based tools to help clients reach their next level of success in all areas of their lives. The program includes 12 core sessions and then progresses on through another 36 sessions.

Certified High Performance Coaching is nothing like “life coaching,” which is client-driven rather than outcome-driven. That’s one reason why clients report such high levels of satisfaction with Certified High Performance Coaching programs—they get results.

Are most people satisfied with the results they achieve with Certified High Performance Coaching?

Yes. In fact, the High Performance Institute—the same organization that certified me as a CHPC—sought proof of such satisfaction and teamed with a third-party company to track 37,603 CHPC sessions in 173 countries delivered by CHPCs. Here’s what they discovered: The average client satisfaction rating for Certified High Performance Coaching was 9.6 out of 10—the highest score ever recorded for any multi-month coaching program.

Is there data to prove that Certified High Performance Coaching provides specific results?

Yes. Brendon Burchard, the High Performance Institute researchers and graduates from the Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania developed a scale, called the High Performance Indicator (HPI), to measure the factors that matter most in predicting individual high performance as defined as long-term success. Based on research and proven performance improvement methods, the HPI is the world’s first validated assessment on high performance created and backed by a high performance coach (Burchard) with over a decade in the field.

The HPI, the largest and most comprehensive high performance study ever conducted, analyzed over 100 human performance variables in six key categories proven to relate to a person’s long-term success potential. The researchers found that: The HPI has proven to strongly correlate with external measures of success (sales performance, academic GPA performance, executive promotion odds, business unit financial success) AND important life outcomes like happiness, health, positive relationships, and confidence.

There’s more to the science of Certified High Performance Coaching. A report was published on May 15 that offers much more information on the HPI. Remember, this assessment measures the habits that lead to long-term success across domains, and it’s comprised of six subscales that separately measure clarity, energy, necessity, productivity, influence, and courage.

The two studies, with a total of 174,054 participants, showed that the HPI was predictive of several essential life outcomes:

• happiness
• confidence
• education level
• perceived excellence
• life satisfaction
• quality of interpersonal relationships
• work quality
• career impact
• income

Indeed, high performance is about leveling up EVERY area of your life. And Certified High Performance Coaching affects each life arena for just about any type of person—including dancers.

If you or someone you know wants to learn more or register for the next High-Performance Dancer program, click here.

Photo copyright : Mihai Blanaru

The post What You Need to Become a World-Class Dancer appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Have you ever watched a professional athlete play in a game, listened to a musician perform his music, read the words of a novelist, or looked at the work of an artist and thought, “I wish I had that kind of talent”? And have you ever watched a dancer performing on stage and said, “I wish I could have that kind of success, but…I don’t have enough dance talent”?

While we each have some inherent skills or abilities, in fact, little proof exists that we are born with that elusive thing we call “talent.” An in depth look at story after story of the most talented people shows that most, if not all, achieved their success by following their passions and interests and spending untold hours perfecting their skills. They worked hard. They practiced until they got good enough to succeed.

And some didn’t have skills when they started out. They just had a desire to have those skills and a willingness to work hard to achieve them.

This is true of almost every dancer I know. Even if they started out with some talent, what makes them great is how hard they work every single day to improve their craft. It may look easy to the audience, artistic director, or even other dancers, but, in fact, it’s not.

Actually, the dancers who make it look easy worked damn hard to create that illusion.

Outliers and Success

Just read Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcom Gladwell if you don’t believe me. In this book, Gladwell takes an intellectual look at what he calls the “outliers” of the world, or the best and the brightest, the most famous and the most successful. He asks the question: What makes high-achievers different?

What he discovers is that it has less to do with what successful people are “like” and more to do with where they are from. (Yes…where they are from.) The things that seem to make a difference in our success begin with the culture, the family, the generation, and the idiosyncratic experiences that occur during early years.

The book explains that there are software billionaires who simply had thousands of hours of access to early mainframe computers during high school or college years; that’s what made them phenomenal programmers. And there are great soccer players who got different opportunities than their counterparts simply because of the year or month in which they were born (even if they started out with some physical ability). Gladwell even explains why Asians are good at math, demonstrating how their language, rather than intelligence, is at play.

Improving Your Chances of Success

Take away the information about culture, family, generation, and idiosyncratic experiences, and what that means for you (and for me) is that we can make ourselves successful whether or not we feel we have talent. All it takes is practice. Of course, having a bit of talent or skill to begin with helps, but many hours doing the thing we want to be good at can make us successful.

When I think back to the amount of time my son, Julian, has spent in the dance studio—from the time he was three years old until 25—I’d hasten to bet he’s at a tipping point. How many times has he (or you or your son) done a tondu or pirouette? How many times has he placed his feet in first position or second?

Thousands…

Ten Thousand Hours…Not Talent…Lead to Success

In Outliers, Gladwell repeatedly mentions the “10,000-Hour Rule,” and claims that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for about that many hours. Researchers at Michigan State University decided to study this theory by looking at how musicians and chess players advance in their careers. Now, they concluded that only 30-34% of success relied on hours practiced. Yet, that’s still a significant percentage. Imagine if you increased the time you practice something you’d like to be good at—like ballet—by 30%. You would significantly increase your chance of succeeding at it.

And that’s really the point.

K. Anders Ericsson, professor of psychology at Florida State University, whose research originally characterized the 10,000-Hour Rule, took another look at the data and said he has seen no convincing evidence that brain-related genes put an absolute limit on expert performance. Other researchers, such as Scott Barry Kaufman, assistant professor of psychology at New York University, says the debate is really one of priority. While innate talent plays a role in proficiency, so does training to hone that talent. He mentions that even memory plays a part in success, but that can be improved with practice as well.

Despite any debate, Kaufman noted that practice accounted for four times (roughly 30%) more variance that memory, which just stresses the point that if you practice something, you increase your chance of succeeding at it. (To read more about these studies, click here.)

So, if you want to be a successful dancer…practice. Then practice more.

Practice for Success

No matter if we believe we have the talent or the physical or mental attributes necessary for success, we can decide to put in the hours to get good at what we want to do. Each of us is afforded the opportunity to practice for success—and to become successful because we did so—rather than to blame our failure on a lack of talent.

Don’t use lack of talent as an excuse for not becoming a world-class dancer. Many a dancer didn’t start out as “talented” as the others but practiced harder and longer. You can do the same. You don’t have to remain imprisoned by your belief that you are not good enough or as good, and you can set out to become as good as you want to become.

Even the best in their field still practice and train. Tiger Woods still shows up at a match with his trainer. I know business people earning millions of dollars each year who hire personal coaches. Sports teams continue to practice daily. And dancers like Marcelo Gomes, Ángel Corella, and Federico Bonelli (just to name a few) go into the studio daily and take class, meticulously practicing the same moves they’ve rehearsed since they began to dance years and years ago.

Mastery is a never-ending process, but it’s required if you want to succeed at anything—including dance.

What do you need to practice today and the next day and the next to ensure you become world-class?

Photo copyright : Nataliia Zhekova

The post Don’t Blame Your Failure on Lack of Dance Talent appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Two weeks ago, I was reminded why I began this blog in April 2018. I saw how difficult it was for my (then) 13-year-old-son to pursue dancing. I’m not talking about physical challenges, though. I’m talking about the emotional and psychological ones.

Julian started at the age of three. By the time he hit first grade, he was laughed at for sharing during “show and tell” that he was a dancer.

The entire class laughed at him when he told them he took dance lessons. Every single student.

That’s the same thing that happened on Good Morning America when, on August 22, 2019, co-host Lara Spencer mentioned that Britain’s little Prince George was taking ballet this year. What she found even more humorous was that he liked ballet. And the entire live audience—and her co-host—laughed with her.

That’s bullying. Plain and simple. And those people—all of them—behaved no better than the class of first graders who laughed at my son.

(If you missed this Good Morning America segment, you can view it here.)

I could argue that such behavior and attitude comes from ignorance. However, in many cases, young male dancers experience it from people who are simply mean, judgmental, and small-minded.

Apology Accepted?

Spencer tried lamely to apologize on Instagram the next day. She then did a segment on male dancers and apologized again. While she sounded sincere the second time around, the segment became more promotional for the dancers than anything else. And if fell drastically short of shedding light on how hard it is for young (and sometimes older) male dancers to pursue a career in this artistic and athletic discipline.

Plus, while the segment was being shot, Good Morning America closed the curtains out to Times Square, where bystanders can usually watch the hosts record. Co-host George Stephanopoulos—who also laughed at Spencer’s comments during the first segment (and never apologized)—only mentioned in passing the fact that 300 or more dancers had gathered outside—mostly boys and men—to take a ballet class. While this was called a “protest” by some, it primarily was meant to educate the hosts. (To see the videos of this dance event, go to the Boysdancetoo Facebook page.)

I’m sorry. I can’t take Spencer’s apology too seriously when she never even mentioned or showed what was happening right outside Good Morning America’s window.

But other people noticed and mentioned this demonstration. For example, Netflix social media manager Jarett Weiselman, tweeted, “In response to Lara Spencer’s harmful mocking of young boys (in this case, Prince George) who enjoy taking ballet classes, a group of professional male dancers led a class for boys and girls outside the Good Morning America studio this morning—a lovely sight to wake up to.”

A Rally of Support

The dance class in Times Square was only one demonstration of support not only for Prince George but for dancin’ boys everywhere. The dance community rallied in a variety of ways.

Celebrities spoke out. And the segment was covered by many news outlets, including the New York Times, which also covered the ballet class outside the Good Morning America studio. But many say not enough was done by the media, and the dance community still needs to make more effort to educate the general public about the trials and tribulations of being a young male dancer and the effort and commitment necessary to go pro.

And so…I’m back.

I have let this blog sit dormant for too long as I pursued other things. And it felt hard to continue blogging here ever since Julian became a professional. When he moved to Germany to begin his career, I was no longer privy to his daily life as a dancer. Nor could I freely write about him. I tried for a while to keep posting…and then quit.

Really, those are just excuses.

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to abandon the many dancers and parents who have left me comments here—asking for help and support.

And I didn’t mean to stop supporting dancin’ boys and their parents. I know how much they need support—especially the boys.

So, to join the cause—support boys who dance—I will be publishing posts on this blog again. I may not post as often as I once did nor will the posts be as long as this one. But I will use this blog to further my initial efforts to support dancin’ boys (and their parents) on their way to becoming the elite and world-class athletes they dream of becoming—professional male dancers.

As an aside, an offshoot of this blog has thrived while the blog lay quiet—the Facebook group. Created as a forum for discussing the issues related to dancin’ boys, in the past few years, the My Son Can Dance Facebook group(s) have flourished. The members—not me—have created an engaged community made up primarily of parents of male dancers with a few male dancers as well.

We have five Facebook groups total—the main group (parents and pro boys), a pre-pro group (parents), a pro group (parents), a boys-only group (boys), and a dance-teachers-dancing-sons group (parents). If you are a parent interested in joining one of them, please first ask to join the main group. If you are a young male dancer, ask to join the Dancers Only group specifically.

The Bottom Line

Back to the reason for this post…

If you think the story ended with Spencer’s apology, think again. Fox News commentators Raymond Arroyo and Laura Ingraham got in on the story with a repulsive segment that went beyond bullying to harassment and racism. You can watch the clip here on Instagram, or you can read the transcript here in an article written by Dance Magazine.

This just made it all the more clear that more education about dance in general and male dancers specifically is necessary. Not only that, young male dancers need our support more than ever.

Here’s the bottom line: Too many people still think dance is for girls, not boys, and that any boy who dances has been forced to dance or has gender issues. Basically, dancin’ boys are sissies.

That’s so far from the truth.

For the Love of Dance

Most boys dance because they love it. They may know they want to be dancers from a young age, like my son, or they may begin dancing in middle or high school. But they don’t do it under duress. The only thing pushing them toward their activity is their soul’s desire to express in this manner.

Even little Prince George dances because he enjoys it.

And dance is hard no matter who takes it up—boy or girl, man or woman. It’s one of the most difficult “sports” and art forms. It’s not for sissies of any type…or for the faint of heart.

Every day, dancers push themselves to new physical, emotional, and artistic limits. This isn’t easy.

To hear a little bit about this, watch this video of my son and other dancers talking about working with choreographer David Dawson last year on a new creation called “The Four Seasons.” And watch the dancers…what they do is enormously difficult and takes strength, flexibility, musicality, emotional depth, acting ability, and courage—lots of courage.

The hardest part of being a male dancer, however, is the social stigma, especially here in the United States. And that stigma leads to bullying, ostracizing, harassment, and more.

Because of that, fewer boys decide to dance. That’s the thing about those news segments; they discouraged boys who have thought of dancing from starting and boys who have already begun from continuing with this endeavor.

Dance is not for sissies—no matter the sex of the dancer. And the boys who dance are definitely not sissies. The ones who continue to become professionals or to dance in college are amazingly strong emotionally and physically and incredibly committed.

They endure so much to get there… They must have courage, determination, tenacity, and such a love and passion for what they do that nothing will stop them—not even the worst bully.

Dance Benefits Others

Plus, the benefits of dance yields are many. Of course, dancers enjoy the health benefits but also the joy of performing, the fulfillment of giving an audience pleasure, and the continual striving for the next level of craft, artistry, and ability.

Not only dancers enjoy the benefits of dance, though. For many years, football players have taken ballet classes to enhance their performance on the field. Nowadays, rugby players do the same as do other athletes. And they are surprised when they discover the level of difficulty involved in dance movement.

All sorts of men find ballet useful. According to Roman Baca’s Instagram post, “Ballet prepared me physically and mentally to serve in the US Marine Corps. Now as a US/UK Fulbright alum, Artistic Director of Exit12 Dance Co., and an international artist, ballet gave me the tools to be successful.”

And what would most ballets, musicals, or even music videos be without men? Ballerinas rely on the male dancers to make them look beautiful. The men become their barre during a performance. Plus, the men have to lift them.

But when the men get to dance…wow! That’s when you see some fantastic athleticism and artistry.

And look at their bodies… Works of art! If you want muscles, try dancing daily and lifting girls instead of weights.

In dance studios, artistic directors are thrilled to have even one boy to on stage, and he becomes the biggest attraction. The men, as I’ve often said, are the black pearls. Open the shell, find one, and let it show itself to the world. WOW!

And the benefits to the audience… Don’t forget the thrill of watching male dancers on stage.

Male Dancers Suffer

Yet, male dancers continue to suffer such snide remarks as those made by Spencer, Arroyo, and Ingraham. And, as a result of other people’s judgment and cruelty, they end up depressed, full of self-doubt and self-loathing, lonely, and, all too often, suicidal.

That’s why so many boys don’t even bother to start dancing, let alone pursue it to the professional level. It’s hard…damn hard. And the sore muscles and difficult moves are nothing compared to the emotional distress they often feel.

That’s what made Spencer’s comments and the ensuing laughter—and Arroyo and Ingraham’s segment—so wrong. It not only perpetuated the harmful stereotype related to male dancers, but it also made it worse. And it discouraged boys from starting or continuing to dance.

Even worse, these segments told people it was okay to belittle, harass, and bully boys who dance.

Kudos to the Dance Community

The way the dance community rallied around little Prince George and all boys like him who dance was truly amazing. Instagram lit up with all type of dancers, artistic directors, dance magazines, and celebrities condemning Spencer and Good Morning America. We heard from Debbie Allen, Gene Kelley’s wife, Rosie O’Donnell, and George Takei, just to mention a few.

All that said, we need to continue to rally around our young dancin’ boys. We need to encourage them. We need to provide them with role models and strategies and tools to help them overcome the physical hardships they face and the emotional, psychological, and societal ones as well.

And that’s what I plan to do.

I couldn’t be prouder of my son, Julian. He is now a first soloist at SemperOper Ballett dancing many principal roles and working with some of the industry’s best choreographers. And I know the challenges he has faced and continues to face.

But he followed his dream. And I want other dancin’ boys to do the same…to follow their dreams and realize them.

Let’s not let anyone stop them from doing so.

If you are a parent of a dancin’ boy, how do you support him on his dance journey? If you are a dance teacher, what can you do to support young male dancers? And if you are a dancer, what support do you need to help you realize your dream? Tell me in a comment below.

And if you liked this post, please share it with those who will find it useful.

Top photo Copyright : lanak

The post Dancing Boys Need Our Support appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Dancers tend to do this all the time…unless they get bored, complacent, or unenthusiastic.

Plus, it’s so easy not to push. After all, doing it the way you always have or currently do requires less effort. It’s comfortable. It’s harder to move out of your comfort zone. But you know that isn’t the way to become your best self as a parent or a dancer.

Get a Push

When you don’t push yourself—and you want a push, it’s time to hire help. Even if you do push yourself, but you know you need to put in just a little bit more effort or get just a tad more skill or polish, it’s time to hire a trainer or coach.

Consider an Olympic athlete. They push themselves, but they know they need an edge. They know they could be just a bit better. With a coach or trainer, they can become the best—maybe in the world.

CEOs, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and marketers hire coaches. Even parents hire coaches. Why? They need a push to be better, do more, step into their best selves, and a coach can help them do that.

Dancers have their teachers. Sometimes, however, they also need a coach to help them gain clarity, energy, or courage and to become more effective in class or performances and to do a better job of communicating or dealing with people.

High Performers Push or Get Pushed

I have a personal trainer, for example. He pushes me to go past what I think is my physical limit. Without him, I do the same old workout day in and day out. In fact, without him I often choose to do what is easiest rather than what is hardest of best for me and my body. I work harder with the trainer. And I realize how much more I a can do.

Also, deadlines always push me to become more productive and focused. Going on vacation, for example, requires me to get a lot of work done prior to leaving. That push raises my productivity level enormously. I feel the urgency and necessity to get everything done fast!

Of course, a dancer pushes through rehearsals before a performance and the performance. Opening night is  a deadline.

Parents of dancers sometimes only have their dancers’ deadlines to push them on. But having personal deadlines keeps you feeling alive and joyful and moving toward your best self.

[Tweet “If you don’t like the word “push,” think of this as a “challenge.” “]

Push = Challenge

If you don’t like the word “push,” think of this as a “challenge.” When you take on a challenge, you feel alive because you are striving toward a goal or moving towards your aspirations. When you live without a challenge of some sort, you’ll feel less energetic, enthusiastic or joyous.

That’s when you need a push or challenge. A coach, teacher, or trainer can provide that, but I’d like to inspire you to learn how to challenge yourself.

10 Tips to Help You Push Yourself

Here’s the rub: Many people don’t see the challenges they give themselves as “real.” I often hear my clients say, “I challenged myself, but it didn’t matter if I met the challenge because I was the only one who knew about it.” Or they say, “Setting a deadline for myself doesn’t work because I know I don’t have to meet it; no one is holding me accountable.”

So how do you challenge yourself in a way that helps you meet the challenge? Here are nine tips that, if implemented, will help you rise to any challenge including those you set for yourself.

1. See the challenge as “real.”

To meet a challenge, first, you have to see it as real—not fake because no one imposed on you (other than yourself). It must matter, and you must be accountable to yourself. If you don’t meet the challenge, there must be a consequence.

For instance, if you don’t meet the challenge of publishing your book, your readers don’t get the information they need. Don’t go into the studio regularly on your own to improve your techique and you might get fired from the ballet company. Fail to complete the challenge of getting in better health and your children end up without a parent earlier they should or you get injured and can’t dance. Don’t work on you rmarriage and it might fall apaprt. Don’t watch the dance videos of the role you will be dancing and you aren’t prepared in rehearsal.  (You get the idea.)

When you realize the adverse outcome of not pushing yourself, you feel a higher degree of necessity to challenge and then meet the challenge. You’ll commit to your goal.

[Tweet “When you take on a challenge, you feel alive.”]

2. Set your challenge in stone.

Second, think of the challenges you give yourself as set in stone. Just because you, rather than someone else, give yourself a deadline, doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter or you don’t have to meet it.

Meeting the challenge has to matter—at least to you. Spend time thinking about how badly you want to meet the challenge. If you don’t want to push past your current limits badly enough, you won’t push yourself. You genuinely have to want to level up.

3. Take on congruent challenges.

Any challenge you give yourself has to align with your goals, values, passion, and purpose. It has to match your aspirations.

In short, a challenge has to be congruent with who you believe you are or what to become. That’s when you will push yourself to meet it.

4. Set firm deadlines.

When you put a deadline on the calendar, see it as a “drop-dead deadline.” You have to meet it “or else.” What will happen if you don’t? Consider how you will feel and the impact on others as well as on yourself. Maybe even give yourself a consequence for not pushing through.

5. Know why you want to achieve the goal.

Why is this particular aspiration vital to you? If you don’t push yourself to achieve it, what will happen? How will you feel and think about yourself? How will other people feel if you don’t rise to it? And what about people the who could have been impacted by you meeting your challenge—like performing for them—be impacted by you failing to meet your challenge?

[Tweet “Any challenge you give yourself has align with your goals, values, passion, and purpose.”]

6. Give your goals realistic deadlines that push you to the next level.

Although your goals need to be realistic, which means attainable, they also need to stretch you—push you to the next level. So create goals that feel just a bit difficult to meet.

If you give yourself two years to accomplish something, you will take your time and continue moving forward slowly in a comfortable manner. But you may never get it done because you keep thinking you have lots of time to get started or finish.

Make the deadline feel tough but doable—a push. Set a deadline that is short rather than long. The urgency of the fast-approaching deadline will help you become more productive.

7. Get an accountability partner.

If you continue to struggle to push yourself, tell someone else about your challenge. Accountability partners provide a tremendous push because they help you develop urgency.

8. Track your progress.

Take a weekly accounting of what you have done to meet your goal. For instance, if you rate your progress on a scale of one to ten weekly, you will keep yourself apprised of your progress. You will know if you are moving too slowly or quickly enough. When you see your productivity or movement declining or plateauing, you can push yourself to ramp things up.

9. Keep your energy high.

A lot of people don’t meet their goals because they cannot sustain the energy to do so. They peter out during the day, get distracted or unfocused, or feel tired—and then they quit. For a dancer, this can lead to a short career. For a parent of a dancer, it can meen chronic low energy and exhaustion.

Raise your energy consistently throughout the day. Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, breathe, take frequent breaks, move your body, exercise, do things that get you energized. With positive and high energy, you can push yourself successfully to complete your challenge.

[Tweet “Take on challenges that make you feel alive and help you realize your dreams.”]

10. Make rising to your challenge a priority.

If you let everything else come before your challenge, you’ll never level up or achieve your goal. Push yourself to tackle it first every day. Don’t let life get in the way of achieving your goal.

Increase Your Need to Rise to the Challenge

Each of these ten tips helps you increase your level of necessity. High performers make raising their sense of necessity a habit. Every day, they find ways to feel achieving their goals is urgent. It can’t wait. And that’s why they push themselves consistently. And it’s how they succeed.

Now it’s your turn.

Push yourself. Take on challenges that make you feel alive and help you realize your dreams.

Leave me a comment down below and tell me if these tips have helped you push yourself. And, if they did, are you feeling the aliveness, enthusiasm, passion, and inspiration that comes out of being challenged and living charged life?

Do you struggle to become the person you know you can be…the person you want to be and feel certain you were meant to be…as a dancer or a parent? It’s time to get out of your own way and get from where you are to where you want to go. Give me an hour of your time, and I’ll help you see how to step into your best self. I’ll push you… Apply for a free Certified High Performance Coaching strategy session, and make 2018 your best year ever. To apply for a one-hour FREE Certified High Performance Coaching strategy session, fill out this application.
Or join the April 2018 High Performance GROUP Coaching program for parents of dancers. Find out more and register here.

Photo courtesy of Copyright: yarruta / 123RF Stock Photo

The post 10 Tips to Help You Push Yourself or Your Dancing Son to the Next Level appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

You may not have been born with high performance characteristics. However, you can learn to increase your performance so you have heightened and sustained levels of clarity, energy, courage, productivity, and influence—qualities dancers, studio owners, choreographers, dance teachers…and parents of dancin’ boys…need.

I got interested in high performance after attending Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Academy. Of course, I’ve always been interested in personal development and psychology. At the event, I realized quickly that, although many people saw me as clear-minded, energetic, productive, courageous, and influential, I could level up in almost every area of my life—personally and professionally. After completing a round of Certified High Performance Coaching, I knew I wanted to become a coach myself. I wanted to live the principles, and I wanted to offer Certified High Performance Coaching to my clients and customers.

I started out offering the 12-week program to writers and they achieved awesome results. They became more productive, courageous, and influential. They had more clarity and took huge leaps forward in all areas of their lives.

So I decided to expand and offer a Certified High Performance Coaching program for dancers as well. I knew my son would have benefited from such coaching and training. And I’m passionate about dance and helping your dancers, especially young male dancers. It just made sense.

Let me explain what high performance is and why dancers—or you—need to develop this character trait.

What Does High Performance Mean?

High performance means excelling beyond standard norms consistently and long term—not occasionally. These norms are not other people’s standard norms; they are your own standard norms. Thus, you make no comparison between yourself and others. Instead, you continually work to increase your own level of performance, and then you sustain that level until you are ready to level up again.

You can demonstrate high performance personally and professionally. That’s why high performance impacts every aspect of your life. In fact, it affects your physiology, psychology, productivity, as well as your persuasive skill. It also affects your ability to be present in every moment and to fulfill your potential and purpose.

Since Certified High Performance Coaching is based on scientific research, there is proof that if you level up in one area, like courage, you level up in all the other areas, such as clarity, productivity, energy, and influence.

Why Do Dancers Need High Performance?

The majority of aspiring and professional dancers I know struggle with some aspect of their lives. They aren’t as socially comfortable. They feel exhausted every day. They forget to do homework or pay bills. They don’t eat a healthy a diet. Maybe they don’t have the ability to influence their dance partners or team. Or they don’t feel able to stand up for themselves.

Every area of life affects other areas of life. If you are frustrated with performance in the studio, your relationships or health may suffer, for instance. To succeed at dance, you have to succeed at life and vice versa.

You Can Become a High-Performance Dancer

If you are struggling with any are of your life, including your dance life, the reason why is simple: You don’t possess high-performance traits, such as clarity, energy, courage, productivity, and influence. You don’t have the skill or strategies used by high performers in every industry, ones that help them buckle down and work hard as well as stay focused, energetic, present, on purpose, and intentional.

However, you can become a high-performance dancer and show up in the studio feeling confident, energized, enthusiastic, and joyful. You can intentionally approach your dancing (and your life) as a high performer by bringing engagement, courage, presence, and purpose, to every aspect of your work (and life). When you do, you will find yourself performing like a race car. You’ll consistently keep your mental and physical engine generating positive states of being that help you get to your destination. All your systems will run smoothly, helping you “race” toward your dance goals and dreams.

High-performance tools help you focus and approach your work with clarity despite the distractions and demands you encounter daily. As a high-performance dancer, however, you possess the ability and the tools to manage the chaos in your life. You take on the varying tasks involved with ease, such as stretching, strengthening, learning choreography, auditioning, performing, and showing up every day ready and willing to push your body to extremes.

How? By using tools and strategies that help you focus your attention, block out distractions, and energetically and enthusiastically approach your work.

Race to Your Best Dancing Self

There’s a difference between a race car and a high performer. Despite an experienced driver, a race car sometimes spins out of control. The car’s high performance can prove unreliable—the vehicle can run out of gas, experience an engine problem, or, if it gets sideswiped or rear-ended, can lose its ability to be navigated to safety.

High performance dancers know how to avoid crashes and keep their “engines” running smoothly in all situations. They know how to steer their vehicles in a deliberate and consistent manner toward the finish line. That means they are more likely to finish the race.

How do they do that? They manage their psychology, physiology, productivity, persuasive ability, purpose, and presence. They learn how to manage (and change) their limiting beliefs, fears, and negative thoughts. They push themselves to eat a healthy diet, strengthen their bodies regularly, and get enough sleep, and they are present and focused so they accomplish more in less time. They become good role models, inspiring and motivating those they encounter. They know why they dance and what they want to accomplish; they are on a mission to fulfill their potential and purpose.

High performance helps you generate the intentionality necessary to “race” forward toward your dance goals and dreams. As a high performer, you know how to maneuver smoothly around every corner, past every obstacle, and through traffic jams. You maintain (or regain) equilibrium when you get “bumped,” encounter a flat tire, or get squeezed out of your spot on the track. You keep your vehicle (your body and mind) in excellent shape so it’s ready to speed forward on commmand.

Isn’t it time you got into the driver’s seat of your dance life and took control of the wheel? Isn’t it time you took your foot off the brake and hit the gas? Isn’t it time you gave your dance life (and your whole life) a tune up? Of course, it is.

Photo copyright: Franck Boston|Shutterstock.com

The post What is High Performance and Why Do Dancers Need It? appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

The blast occurred at 8:30 a few blocks from Charlie’s New York City home. He immediately responded to my text, “I’m okay. I am at Lincoln Center.” The homemade bomb that went off in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan that Saturday night injured twenty-nine people.

Charlie was safe.

I was a wreck.

How could I allow my son to live in NYC without me?

The Dancing Mom’s Struggle

I struggle to balance the safety of my children with allowing them to spread their wings. Often a child learns more from a scraped knee than from a stern warning. However, I never thought my son would leave his home near Boston and live on his own in New York at the tender age of 15.

Three years ago, Charlie made his professional theater debut as Oliver Twist in “Oliver!” at Wheelock Family Theater in Boston in a 24-show run. It was a lot of driving for me, but Charlie loved being on the stage. When Charlie was cast in “The Hobbit” six months later, I had to make a decision. Either he couldn’t do it, or the 13-year-old from the suburbs had to commute into the city alone.

Letting Your Dancing Son Go Alone

The entire trip took well over an hour. Initially, I was terrified. He had to walk, take a bus, take the subway, transfer to another subway and then walk to the theatre. At first, I made him call me every leg of the trip. By the end of the seven-week run, he’d graduated to a text when he made it to the theatre. Charlie made many great friends and learned a lot about personal responsibility.

That same fall, Charlie took his first ballet lesson. Within a year he was good enough to receive scholarships from several impressive summer intensive ballet programs. Did he pick the 100% scholarship at the school with dorm housing within walking distance of the studio and a food plan? No. He chose a program in Manhattan with a smaller scholarship for fewer weeks. And it offered no food plan, required living in a hotel and commuting by NY subway. I was less than thrilled.

The first day, Charlie lost his $116 Metro Card and his $50 room key. Metro card found and room key replaced without charge, I kissed my darling boy good-bye and drove home to Boston with every fiber of my being telling me not to do it. However, nothing terrible happened. To the contrary, Charlie had an amazing, rewarding experience that culminated in an offer for the year-round program. Sadly, there wasn’t a way to figure out education, housing, food, and finances in time to accept.

Instead, Charlie attended Philip Exeter Academy on a generous scholarship. Exeter did their best to be flexible with schedules and physical education credits, but it was ultimately up to us to get him the ballet training he needed to stay competitive. Many times during the Nutcracker season, Charlie got into cars with people I’d never met to go to studios I’d never seen to dance for directors I knew nothing about.

6 Questions to Ask Before Letting Your Dancing Son Fly

I am not usually a worrier. I was the mom who’d say to my four year old “Go ahead. Stand on that fold-up chair. If you get hurt don’t come crying to me!” However, if my children were out of sight, my anxiety often got the better of me.

When it comes time to consider letting your dancer fly—to a studio that requires a commute or to a dance program across the country, there is a way to determine if doing so is a good idea. When facing these situations, ask yourself:

1. How important is this opportunity to my child?
2. Are the risks real or perceived?
3. What can be done to minimize, mitigate, or manage concerns?
4. Are the rewards worth any potential risks?
5. Are there alternatives that offer similar rewards with less risk?
6. Do I know in my heart this is the right situation for my child?

Charlie made honors at Exeter that year. In addition, he received a scholarship to Ellison Ballet Summer Intensive and soon afterward to the Ellison Ballet Professional Training Program. He now lives in Chelsea, Manhattan with an awesome family. It took some effort to find the right living situation, an appropriate education program, and the financial support necessary to make it work in a way that was comfortable for our family.

Charlie is living his passion and the decision we made is his best hope for pursuing ballet as a professional career.

Yes, the explosion in Chelsea on September 20^th frightened me. In that moment, it was hard to remember that these dangers are rare and that danger is not limited to NYC. In a bad situation, all the right things happened to keep Charlie safe and, although I miss him, I know he is in the right place.

About the Author

Lindsay Clinton is an education program manager at Harvard Medical School and a mom of two teenagers. She graduated from Brandeis University and interned at New Jersey Shakespeare Festival. After returning to Boston, she founded a community theatre on the South Shore and directs many of its productions. Her journey into the world of ballet started when her son, Charlie, at the advanced age of 13, decided to take some beginner classes. Less than three years later, he is a student at Ellison Ballet Professional Training Program and living in New York City.

Photo courtesy of bairli1 / Pixabay.com

The post How to Let Your Dancing Son Spread His Wings—Alone appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Most young dancin’ boys don’t think about the freelance life as a career option. However, for some, this is a choice. For others it’s a necessity—at least part of the year.

In the United States, the dance season is short. Most dancers must freelance during the eight to fourteen weeks the company is on break. Otherwise, they simply can’t make ends meet.

What’s it like to freelance, and how do you become a freelance dancer? I asked Edwin Olvera, a former dancer with Pilobolus Dance Theatre who currently works as a freelance dancer, to tell me about his career experiences.

Olvera has performed and taught around the globe. After attending UW-Milwaukee’s Peck School of the Arts, he joined the world-renowned Pilobolus Dance Theatre, where he was an integral force in the choreographic and creation process over the course of ten years. During this time, he was featured on countless television shows and commercial advertisements including Sesame Street, Born to Dance, and the NFL Channel.

Olvera has collaborated with international artists Inbal Pinto and Basil Twist and has been featured in articles by both Dance and Dancer Magazine. In 2015, under the guidance of Olympic choreographers Gavin Robins and Leigh-Anne Vizer, Olvera served as a dance captain for a team of 150 performers within the 44th national Dubai Day celebration.

I think you’ll find Olvera’s candid answer, as well as his late dance start, interesting. Also, if you enjoy the photos, you might want to check out Pilobolus. It’s a very different modern style that requires a strong and athletic dancer.

When and why did you start dancing?

I started at 21 dancing at UW-Milwaukee Peck School of the Arts when I began earning a BA in Dance.

The main reason I attended UWM was because of my twin brother, Roberto Olvera. Roberto was a professional modern dancer and now works as a personal trainer to A-list artist.

In the winter of 2001, Roberto danced on stage for one of UWM’s winter concerts. I was so mesmerized by what he had done on stage with his body alongside fellow dancers that I knew then and there I had to go back to San Antonio, Texas, and fail out of the military program in which I was enrolled. I had planned to become a physical therapist assistant.

Failing was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, because I was passing the year-long program and was transitioning over into the on-site practical phase. But I wholeheartedly believed my future would be in dance instead of a PT assistant. Boy I was right.

Did you have an interest in dance earlier in life?

When I was a sixteen, I would go out to the local nightclubs and dance with my other brothers and their girlfriends. We would do this just for fun. However, there were many times when I would ask myself if people could do this for a living. Not one person in my family was an artist. So I never thought it would be possible.

At that time I was clueless to traditional dance forms like modern and ballet or even the founding figures of dance. Most people in the nightclub would couple dance, grind or battle. I just wanted to learn how to move gracefully as a soloist with my own freestyle moves.

How did you land the job with Pilobolus?

I found out about Pilobolus in 2003 through my ballet teacher, Long Zhao. Long had auditioned for Pilobolus when he first came to America from China back in the early 1980’s. However, he never received a position in the company and went on to a wonderful dance career.

Long trained Roberto and I for a physically demanding duet similar to Pilobolus’ style. Our duet piece, “Zoom Out,” got a lot of recognition for UWM and for Roberto and I because it made it to the ACDFA National Gala at Kennedy Center in Washington, DC.

After our success in DC, Long told us about an audition for Pilobolus in NYC. He said it was an opportunity not to be missed.

In the summer of 2004 we went to NYC and audition for Pilobolus. Prior to going, we were given the chance to interact with one of Pilobolus’ newest company members, Andy Harro. Andy was also from Milwaukee and had joined the company less than six months prior to us meeting him.

Roberto and I asked him questions about the audition process and what the was company looking for. Andy said if we made our way to NYC, he would let us stay at his apartment.

There were 40 other amazing male dancers at the audition. After five days, Roberto and I made it to the last cut of four guys. Each eight-hour day consisted of improvisation, partnering and more. But we were not selected.

Six months later we again were invited to an audition. Again, we made it down to the last four guys, this time out of fifty other male dancers.

Yet again, we did not get the job.

In the summer of 2005, Roberto and I were invited once more to yet another audition for Pilobolus. To make a long story short, I received a job offer from the CEO of Pilobolus via a phone call on Roberto’s phone. Although I was excited, my twin brother was torn.

The story gets better. In less than six months, I helped him get hired by the world-renowned modern dance troupe, Momix. Roberto danced three years professionally with them and then was hired through Pilobolus to help create the evening-length spectacular “Shadowland.”

Were you interested in modern or contemporary work over classical dance?

Personally, I enjoy all styles of dance. After dancing professionally for the last 11 years, I find that I gravitate towards modern and contemporary mainly because I can relate to them.

I’ve been exposed to many classical dancers and admire their clean lines and royal presence both on and off stage. Over the last few years I’ve thought of taking classical ballet classes as an alternative for working out to help me lengthen my muscular physique.

What did working for Pilobolus teach you?

On a technical level, I learned how to do contact improvisation, physical theater, puppetry, and prop manipulation. As a freelancer for the company, I learned how to do program direction for their educational outreach programs, create and set choreography on their behalf, hire new talent for the company creative service project, audition new prospects for the main company, and be a dance captain.

On a professional level, I learned the importance of team building, creative problem solving, and how to be a great ambassador of the company. I also became aware of all of the administrative stuff required in the office for the dancers to enjoy their time on the road. I learned the basics of traveling logistics, company management, accounting, costume creation, and more.

Before I joined the company, I was deathly afraid of public speaking . After doing hundreds of Q & A’s for over 5,000 different students, I feel I have become an expert at public speaking and talking on camera.

Why did you leave Pilobolus and at what age?

I left Pilobolus at the age of twenty-eight because my wife and I wanted to have kids. It is nearly impossible to do that when you’re on the road nine months out of the year.

I also left because, in 2008, we were in an economic downturn and I did not want to be stranded in another country if the financial markets collapsed. The thought of not being able to return home to see my friends and family was too much to bear.

What attracted you to the freelance dance lifestyle?

I liked the ability to work with multiple dance companies in both for-profit and non-profit settings. Also, not having to worry if something was within the scope of Pilobolus was attractive.

Plus, I enjoy the simple fact of making my own schedule—the ability to work as much as I want or as little like.

What made you decide to become a freelance dancer?

After my three-year contract with Pilobolus ended, I was forced into it.

And I had to learn the hard way. At that time I was unaware of any professional resources that gave advice for the freelance artist.

What exactly does being a freelance dancer mean or what does this career look like? What activities do your days, weeks, months include?

Being a freelance dancer means you get paid for hire based off your artistic talents as a dancer. At times you may be hired as a substitute dancer, artistic consultant, choreographer, dance captain, and the job lasts only for a period of time within a year. Sometimes you get hired as a subcontractor and other times you may be hired as a part-time employee. Depending on the company or organization you might have temporary health care or at least access to workman’s comp.

Since I have two young kids and lovely wife, my day seems a bit crazy! But my daily routine tends to stay the same.

I get up early in the morning to workout or do some type of movement routine to keep my body flexible and in shape for the next project. I spend some family time with my wife and kids.

Next, I head off to do administrative work for my small business, which provides dance and creative services. During this time, I reply to emails for current or future projects. I also look over my yearly wall calendar and notice the empty weeks of work and fill them with master classes, lectures, or weekend intensives. I also do research on dance festivals and dance colleges or dance companies to see is there is a way to collaborate with them.

In the evenings I do another round of family time before my kids go to bed, then spend time with my wife. Once everyone is sleeping, I spend at least and hour or two learning something new related to business and marketing. Or I just ready a good book.

Every month I am gone at least one to two weeks for work. I have made a commitment to my family that I will go on the road for no more than two weeks.

I attend at least two social functions per week to keep my dancer/artistic presence known within the creative community in Milwaukee. This means I go to luncheons, open gallery nights, and dance or theater shows. It’s a great way to network with local companies or talent and book the next project(s) for the year.

What type of dancer is cut out for freelance life?

Someone who is comfortable with uncertainty. There have been multiple times over the last 11 years when projects have fallen through the cracks, and I’ve had to adjust and take non-dancer paid jobs (back breaking factory work and more) to make sure my expenses were covered.

A freelance dancer in my opinion should be excited about networking and collaborating with people from all walks of life.

Can a dancer—or a freelance dancer—earn enough to support a family?

Yes, It is possible. The key thing is making sure to always have work coming in even when you are not doing something artistic.

My wife has a full time job, which is a source of income.

Also know your total monthly income and total monthly expenses to make sure that you’re not overspending and can save for the future. Most dancers live their life without knowing the basics of finance.

You talk a lot about the business of dance. How much does a typical company dancer need to know about business?

As a dancer employee, make sure to understand your contact/letter of agreement. There maybe times when you are ask to work overtime or double time even though in the contract it clearly states you are required to have a day off, but you may be working to finish the final project.

Each organization’s contract is different, so if you don’t understand the terms make sure to find a lawyer who can help you understand them.

Most modern dance companies do not have a union, unlike ballet companies—even the ones that have been around for 40 years. So sad but true.

What five things have helped you succeed as a dancer?

Focus

Learning to work as a team

My interest in learning multiple languages

Being punctual

Scheduling my projects one to two years out instead of only focusing month per month.

What three tips do you have for male dancers—in general or for those who need or want to freelance? Keep in mind the dancers who work in the US and who might need to freelance for several months each year when the company’s season ends.

Since male dancers are in high demand, take advantage of that.

Don’t be afraid to tap into your network of friends, family members and former business professionals to find work. A lot of times artists are afraid of asking for possible work, and so the answer’s always “no.” If you reach out to people, things will open up for you.

If you’re not able to take a project because of the time commitment or their budget, always supply an alternative—another dancer who can do the work for you so you don’t leave the company empty-handed.

Anything you’d like to add?

We all hear this common phrase: “The dance world is small.” It’s true.

As dancers, we must be mindful of what we say and do around other artists. If you burn a bridge with someone or some company, be aware that people talk.

It’s better to be respectful, timely and professional at all times.

Always make sure to document your work, whether it’s through blogging or your website. Or have professional photos and videos taken of you doing your projects (before, during and after).

Also ask your past collaborators to give you a testimonial for your service and professionalism. Endorsements go a long way.

Finally, I would recommend highly having an up to date LinkedIn account because it’s considered the new active resume.

To learn more about Edwin Olvera, visit www.edwinolvera.com.

You can watch his video reel here: https://youtu.be/637IN48XFOY

The post The Life of a Freelance Dancer appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Partnering. It’s a huge part of a male dancer’s job. For some, partnering feels difficult and they hate it. For others, it’s comes naturally, and they love it. No matter where you or your son fall on this spectrum, it’s necessary to become a good partner to succeed in a dance career.

Male dancers who have poor partnering skills find it difficult to move up in the ranks of a ballet, modern, or contemporary company. And none of the female dancers, especially ballerinas, want to be paired with a dancer with weak partnering skills.

Male dance teachers offer sound advice on this skill, and they provide necessary instruction. However, when it comes down to the wire, it’s the ballerinas and other female dancers who know best what constitutes a good partner. When advice is heard from the female dancer, the male dancer can help demonstrate how to accomplish what the female dancer wants and needs to perform her best and feel safe and comfortable.

What does a female dancer consider a good male partner? I asked Sarah Hay, Dresden SemperOper Ballett second soloist and star of the Starz limited series Flesh and Bone, to answer this question.

Sarah began attending dancing classes at the age of three, and joined the School of American Ballet in New York City when she was eight, and later attended the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis School of Ballet at the American Ballet Theatre. She joined SemperOper Ballett in 2010 and, during her time with the company, performed a variety of classical and contemporary roles in such pieces as The Nutcracker, La Bayadere, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Cacti, In the Middle Somewhat Elevated, and Copellia, to name just a few.

As an actress, Sarah made her television debut in 1997 as Stephanie in You’re Invited to Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Ballet Party. In 2016, she was cast as Claire Robbins in the Starz mini-series Flesh and Bone. For that role, she earned nominations for a Golden Globe and a Critics’ Choice Television Award and won a  Satellite Award.

Sarah made her film debut in 2010 as a dancer in Black Swan.

Sarah danced the part of Manon when Julian danced Des Grieux in Kenneth MacMillan’s Manon in the fall of 2015. (You can find several posts about this performance, including Julian’s perspective, here, here and here on the blog.)

I think Sarah’s perspective on partnering will prove informative and instructional on you or your son’s journey to become a sought-after partner.

What characteristics does a male ballet dancer need to be considered a good partner?

They need to be confident, not tentative, and open minded, as well as physically strong and grounded.

How important is trust when it comes to partnering?

For me, trust is everything. When I feel I’m in the hands of someone who is really there to protect me and is focused, I can really be free. Being able to let go and just dance is the goal.

What can a male dancer do to earn his partner’s trust?

He needs to stay focused.

He needs to pay attention. There is almost an unspoken language you have to know when partnering.

He needs to watch his partner. In fact, both dancers need to watch each other.

Also he should be slightly ahead of the woman so she can be right on the music.

What are the most common things that can go wrong when partnering and how can your partner prepare for them?

A common one for me is not having enough space. As much as my partner is “holding me up,” I also need the room to move. So it’s more like propping me up. The use of space can change the entire center of balance.

Getting frustrated with your partner also plays a role. Everyone has problems. It’s good to remember that you both have to do this together, and it’s not about one person or the other being right.

What was your favorite partnering experience and why?

I loved dancing with Julian Lacey in Manon by Kenneth McMillan. We have a very special relationship when it comes to dancing—similar musicality and coordination. During our process we both learned so much about partnering and each other. And moments of “I can’t do it” turned into “We did it!”, which can be so satisfying.

I also love dancing with Istvan Simon, because he has such a magnetic strength. I never worry that I will be dropped or lost. He takes risks, but I trust them.

What was your hardest partnering experience and why? How did your partner help?

During Manon, we had to learn many new trick lifts and off-balance classical steps. This was hard for me, because most of my pas de Deux training is in The Forsythe technique.

Julian and I had an issue with an arabesque promenade off balance. He helped me through it, and, eventually, we were able to get it in a secure place. But, he definitely had to be patient.

Fear can be poison for partnering! I was very frustrated with myself, but we found a way. Compromise is key.

Each ballerina likes to be partnered differently. How can a male dancer know what each partner needs or wants? How important is communication between partners?

Communication is everything! No one can read your mind, so be forward. Ask questions! You want help whether you feel like you need it or not because, in the end, you want to give the best performance possible.

Can you offer a few tips or bits of advice for young male dancers who aspire to be pro dancers and great partners?

1. Listen to everything.
2. Always know the woman’s steps so you can help when necessary.
3. Don’t take criticism seriously; just take it as advice.
4. Put yourself in her position. Always try to understand why you’re doing this and what you want to say with your movement.

Male or female dancers: Do you have anything else to add to Sarah’s advice? If so, leave a comment below.

The post How to Become a Good Partner (from a Ballerina’s Perspective) appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

I knew the role was unique and that being chosen by the McMillan Foundation to dance the part was an honor, but I had no idea really why the part of Des Grieux was so challenging or attractive to male dancers. I’d heard that some dancers wait their whole careers to dance the part of Des Grieux and retire with that one feather missing from their hats. And some, like Jirí Bubenícek, a former principal at SemperOper Ballett, danced it as his last role before retirement. In fact, he danced two of the six performances; Julian performed twice after Bubenícek’s shows.

What follows is my conversation with Watkin. Born in the Cowichan Valley, British Columbia, Canada, he graduated from the National Ballet School of Canada in 1988 winning the prestigious Erik Bruhn Award, awarded to the most promising student in the school. Watkin enjoyed a full career in dance beginning with leading classical companies including National Ballet of Canada, English National Ballet, and Dutch National Ballet, where he worked his way up from corps de ballet to the ranks of soloist. After seven years of the classical repertoire, he was invited by world renowned choreographer William Forsythe to become a principal dancer with Ballett Frankfurt. During this time he learned a completely new vocabulary of dance and had numerous opportunities to create new works with Forsythe. Watkin always admired the works of Nacho Duato, and in 2000 joined his company, the National Dance Company of Spain.

In June 2002, Watkin was appointed associate artistic director to Victor Ullate Ballet in Madrid, Spain. Watkin was a personal choreographic assistant to Forsythe. In 2005, he also assisted David Dawson for his creation of Reverence for Kirov Ballet and Johan Inger for his creation of Negro con Flores for Cullberg Ballet. Watkin was artistic associate director of The Loft Dance Studio iand of the annual Dance For Life AIDS Benefit Galas at the Cirque Royal Theatre in Brussels, Belgium.

Watkin was appointed Artistic Director of the Semperoper Ballett on August 1, 2006.

My conversation with Watkin took place the day of Julian’s second performance as Des Grieux in Manon. I hope his comments will inspire other young dancin’ boys to dream big, work hard, and be ready when opportunity knocks on the door. The combination of these three things will help them achieve their goals.

What makes the role of Des Grieux so challenging and, at the same time, attractive to many dancers? Some male dancers wait their entire careers to dance it, and never do. Others feel it was the most challenging role they perform during their career.

First, it was created on Anthony Dowell, who was one of the most exceptional male dancers, especially at his time. He was far beyond his colleagues, especially in his adagio work and his control. So you need control over and ease with your adagio type of technique.

Second, I think the attractive thing about Manon for a man is it really shows another side of your technique. A lot of times men do big jumps, spins, and turns, more bravura moves. Manon has three solos, which are more adagio. To perform them you need an extreme amount of control. You need to really work your lines in a way that men don’t normally have to.

Another thing that’s extremely challenging is that right after or right before each of these solos, there’s a huge pas de deux.

If the role offered just some solo adagio work, it would be one thing. But it involves everything. It’s dramatic. I think, foremost, the characters and their emotional states are the most important thing. It’s a wonderful role to play, and

Third, you have to be an excellent partner. It was tailor-made for Dowell, and he embodied all of those things. It’s hard to find another man that has all that.

What you usually get is dancers who can turn well, or jump well, but maybe you have to really work their adagio lines. Or you get the opposite—someone with beautiful lines but not strong enough to do the partnering.

I think for any male dancer, this is an extremely challenging role on many, many different levels, and therefore, it’s very interesting.

In addition to the adagio work and the emotional aspect, what else do you have to bring to the role of Des Grieux to succeed?

Kenneth McMillan’s work is all about relationships, personality, and characters. Half the people in the audience won’t know if your foot stretched or not or if you make a little hop and a turn, but they’ll not know if you’re not carrying the ballet emotionally or dramatically.

How difficult is it for a corphyee (demi-soloist) like Julian, to jump from that position to a principal part like this one, which happens to be more challenging? When he danced the Nutcracker Prince, I thought that was a big deal! But Des Grieux seems like a huge jump in difficulty.

I always love when people come to set these productions from outside. I like them to see the company with their own eyes. Most of the time, they pick the principals to be at least first cast. If, like in this case, they come to me right away and say, “We really would like Julian to learn this role.” I think, “Wonderful. Why not? Give him the challenge.”

I think Des Grieux is a huge role, and you can’t compare it at all with the Nutcracker prince, because that’s made for a young naïve sort of talent that’s up and coming. The work, the technical demands and artistic demands, they’re not easy, but they’re simpler.

Going to something like Des Grieux for your first big debut in a ballet is quite something. I think it sometimes happens in companies. It’s not something I would promote to happen all the time, but I like it when it happens—if someone is ready. And Julian clearly was ready, because, when he performed, we could all see, the performance was complete.

He did a very substantial performance. Julian is a very natural partner, which helps him incredibly in this role. Without that, he wouldn’t be able to do it.

I would say it’s quite difficult [to jump into such a large role]. So it’s wonderful to see that when you put that kind of load on someone, they can handle it, not just professionally but also psychologically. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a young dancer. That’s why a lot of times I like to give them a bit more time, but if someone can handle it, why not?

I know Julian struggled a bit with some self-doubt. As he did the run-throughs, he said some of his nerves went away. By the time it came to actually perform, he felt ready. These initial feelings are probably fairly normal, right?

Yes, but I would say that’s quite positive also. I would probably be more nervous as I was on the stage. He gets nervous earlier. He told me he usually was never that nervous when he was dancing. This was the first time he felt like there was a huge hill to climb. But the more he rehearsed, the more confident he got. By the time he got to the stage, he wasn’t panicking nervous.

That says something for a soloist because not everyone has that. Even with a lot of talent, that emotional side or stress can bring people down, or they can’t handle it on stage.

What tips would you offer to young men who would love to be offered the kind of opportunity Julian was given in Manon? Maybe they’re in a company, and they’re not quite there yet, but they want to get to the point where somebody would offer them that large a role.

The more experience I have, the more I believe in timing. In a way, it’s hard work tied in with destiny and timing. You know when your planets are all aligned.

You could be working and working and working for something, and it seems that there’s always something that goes wrong—a little injury, that other person, you didn’t quite make it into the role (just the understudy for it again), or this or that.

I think you have to be diligent. Responsibility and your desired outcome are going to come through hard work. Being there every day, working your body, honing your technique and craft, and being ready when someone throws you a curve ball. Then it’s not like, “Oh my god, now I have to learn how to get my partnering together and everything all in one second.” You’ve already got it all together.

There are only so many opportunities, and it’s probably about where you are as well. If you see that you’re always last cast, and you don’t see anyone leaving the company for the next 20 years, if you really want to dance then maybe you should think about going somewhere else. If you see that you are that one that’s being considered a lot and getting a lot of roles, or you are understudying the roles, you’re just about there. Just be ready.

We often have situations here when I say to the new dancers, “Even if you’re understudying the role, pretend you’re going to dance it. Because then you’ll see someone goes [off stage injured], and in one second you have to jump in.” If they can’t do that, no one is not going to rely on them next time.

I think it’s about just keeping an eye on your goals. See where you’re going the whole time, and you just keep taking a step, after step, after step. Even if you slip back a little bit at some point, and you feel like you’re moon-walking, after a while you’ll start to go forward again.

Of course, all of this depends a lot on your talent, too. Not every dancer is going to get to be a principal from working hard and being there every day. “Principal” is a very specific category, and it takes a specific talent and a specific mind. You sometimes can see the dancers who aren’t as talented, but they’re there every day. They’re reliable, and they do the job. They’re consistent. With the others, after a while, you might say, “This one is really talented, but he’s always off; I don’t trust him. He can be third cast.” Sometimes when you do that, that person, when they don’t have the pressure of the first cast, actually dances so much better.”

Which also tells you that when the pressure is on, the dancer enjoys it or thrives.

Exactly.

Or that they don’t or can’t rise up under the pressure.

Exactly.

How unusual is it for someone as young as Julian, like a 21-year-old, to dance a principal role in a ballet like Manon?

I saw an interview with Sylvie Guillem, and she was saying that she was so grateful to Nureyev for taking her when she was 19 and giving her all those opportunities because so many directors don’t push the young people fast. I would say in her case, and in very specific cases, I agree.

I also think there is something to be said for going through the core, into the demi-soloist’s roles, into the soloist roles, and then into the principal roles. By the time you get to the principal roles, you have all the tools in your toolbox. You have all that experience also psychologically that helps you handle the position.

I would say, in most cases, I think it’s better to keep dancers going through a certain path. But along the path, when you see that there is some exceptional talent, and also maybe you need to have that talent at that point doing those roles, then you need to also take care of that person, promote them, and push them in a certain way to help them get there sooner.

To read more about Julian’s performance in Manon and Watkin’s comments on that performance, click here. To read what Julian had to say about dancing Des Grieux, click here.

Photo of Sarah Hay and Julian Amir Lacey – Manon – courtesy of Ian Whalen

The post Dancing Des Grieux: An Artistic Director’s View appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

This past November 2015, my son, Julian Amir Lacey, premiered in the lead role of the three-part ballet, Manon, produced by SemperOper Ballett in Dresden, Germany. This famous ballet was choreographed by Kenneth MacMillan, and the MacMillan Foundation chose Julian to perform the principle part in two of six performances.

Julian danced the role of Des Grieux, and partnered Sarah Hay, who played Manon. Hay recently starred in the Starz limited-series Flesh and Bone, was nominated for a Golden Globe and won a Satellite Award for Best Actress – Miniseries or Television Film.

Manon was Julian’s largest and hardest role to date. However, it was not just technically difficult but artistically and dramatically challenging as well. Many male dancers wait their whole career to perform this particular role, and he did it to rave reviews at the age of 21.

I asked Julian to share what dancing this role was like for him. I hope parents and aspiring young male dancers will find his experience useful.

How did you feel and what did you think or feel when the MacMillan Foundation selected you to dance the role of Des Grieux?

When I first learned that I had been selected to learn the role of Des Grieux, I was honored and terrified. I had not seen the ballet before, but I knew its reputation for being one of the hardest male parts out there. Since I hadn’t even danced a three-act ballet before, I was already extremely nervous just 10 seconds after reading my name on the cast list. Besides being scared, though, I was so extremely excited to get such an amazing opportunity.

Why is the role of Des Grieux difficult—not just technically but emotionally and dramatically  or artistically?

This role is difficult for many reasons. The first reason involves the amount of dancing and partnering you do. As the male, you have a total of two variations, both of which are technically and artistically extremely challenging. On top of that, you dance four pas de deux. The variations are adagio, which challenges a dancer like me, who is on the less-flexible end of the spectrum. Also, a ballet like this forces the principles to look at every second and every angle in the choreography, and that is extremely challenging both mentally and physically.

Pas de deux is a huge part of this ballet, and Macmillan did not take it easy on the partnering in this ballet. It’s all very intricate and precise yet with many very large lifts. So the male principle needs both strength and artistry to make it through these pas de deux.

Besides the technical and physical challenges, the emotional side of this ballet was one of the greatest challenges I encountered. Portraying a story like this seems extremely difficult, but during my first run-through of the ballet I found myself and my emotions exactly where they were supposed to be. The ballet and the story leads you the whole time. Besides, by the end, acting exhausted, half-dead and upset is quite easy!

Did you struggle with self doubt at any point, and how did you overcome it?

Yes I struggled immensely with self doubt. You can ask my girlfriend, to whom I came home crying almost every day for two weeks! But it comes with the territory!

For me, overcoming self-doubt was just realizing that, even if the shows won’t be perfect, I can make it through the ballet. That gave me my first bit of confidence. Before that I was a wreck!

You just have to keep pushing and not let your own head get in your way. Trust your ballet masters, and listen to them and your friends over yourself. When you feel like you can’t do it, it’s hard to get yourself out of the way. You need to rely on the people you trust at that point.

What did it feel like to perform in your first three-part ballet?

The feeling of dancing this ballet was incredible. I’ve never felt so amazing, humble and peaceful after dancing. It’s truly an awe inspiring moment when you are done and you hear the applause and your partner and you are just standing there…That’s really what it’s all about for me.

Do you have any tips for boys who have to get through similar stressful situations when they find themselves in a difficult role?

Three pieces of advice I would give is keep your head down, don’t give up and be patient. In terms of keeping your head down: If you are a young man learning a role like this, most likely there will be older and much-more-experienced people in the room with you. Give them the space and the center and whatever they want and they have earned . (You’ve earned it, too, but it’s not your turn in the front yet). I am not one to takes to the front usually, but I wanted all the attention I could get for this role. So I had to pay attention when I asked questions and where I was in the room in order to not offend or upset the others around me.

Not giving up is pretty obvious, but it’s a hard one. But don’t give up!

Be patient…meaning with yourself. If you can’t do it how or as well as they want it this second, there is not too much you can do. Keep trying, but go in the studio by yourself and find your feeling for the step that challenge you. It’s your body, so sometimes it’s good to experiment by yourself.

What did you learn from the experience that you can use going forward—or that others can learn from as well?

I think my greatest lesson from this experience would be maturity. I feel I grew in many ways from doing Manon—not just technically but emotionally as well. I did not feel as scared to show myself in front of the company and now feel more comfortable being me at work. On top of that, I feel that my maturity in the studio grew immensely. I really learned how to work with people and how to interact with people in a positive manner. Not that I couldn’t work with people before, just developed a different understanding of what it means to work artistically with others. That was my biggest lesson—learning how to be calm and concentrated at work.

Currently, Julian holds the position of corphyee, or demi-soloist, at SemperOper Ballet. He began dancing for the company as an apprentice, was promoted to the corps de ballet after one year, and was promoted again just two years later to corphyee.

He has danced the principle role of the Nutcracker Prince for the last two years and performed a variety of soloist parts in other pieces as well. For instance, he danced the Golden Idol in La Bayadere at the beginning of March 2016. Additionally, he has performed with SemperOper Ballett on tour in several European countries and at a number of European galas.

To read my reaction to seeing Julian dance Manon, click here. Watch for one more post on Julian’s performance in Manon, this time from SemperOper Ballett Artistic Director Aaron Watkin.

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