It was a long wait…long past January, when we thought he would be told if he had a contract or not. We are all relieved, and he is beginning to look for apartments and getting ready to truly make a life for himself in Dresden.

As you can imagine, this feels like the culmination of 15 years of hard work, determination, perseverance, sacrifice, and commitment. As parents, my husband and I are so proud of Julian. I can’t speak for Julian, but I have to assume he feels his hard work has paid off and that it–and his talent–is appreciated. Not only that, we can all relax a bit since Julian, at the ripe age of 19, will be able to support him self doing what he loves and pursuing his passion.

Although still an apprentice until the next season begins in mid August, most recently Julian performed in a contemporary premier of Romeo and Juliet choreographed by Stijn Celis. You can catch glimpses of him in a leather jacket and white shirt and tie (he is a Capulet) in this trailer–but you have to watch really carefully or rewind. He appears at 0:10-12 third from right at back, 1:19-1:21 on the far left, 1:40-1:42 in the back at center, 2:00-2:05 standing in the back behind the dancer kneeling in front.

Recently he also appeared in Semperoper Ballett’s Copellia as a doll. He was mentioned on this website in a review of the premier of Copellia. You can read the whole review by using Google Translate. In the photo on the site, he is the one all the way on the right in white. My husband, Ron translated the German using Google Translate, and here is just the part that mentions Julian and the apprentices: (Note: Google Translate does not do a great job.)

“There were many, very beautiful, very well coordinated “images” and clever formations. In the secret workshop of Dr. Coppélius particularly impressed by Pedro Rizzi Maciel (Palucca University) as “real”, repeatedly stereotyped moving Chinese-game character alongside Michael Blasko as an astrologer, Casey Ouzounis when August the Strong (a figure from the Dresden story ) and Julian Lacey as Harlequin (all three from the Apprentice)….

Actually, everyone deserved special praise, the students of the University of Dance Dresden Palucca who participate in a Elevenprogrammes and you could collect real stage experience. With much dedication, discipline and grace they fulfilled their demanding tasks like real “pros.”

Ron and I hope to go to Germany in June to see the Palucca Shul show, in which Julian has a nice part. While there we also hope to see him in two Semperoper Ballett performances: An Evening with the Works of William Forsythe and La Bayadère.

Hopefully, Julian’s journey to a professional position has inspired some other young male dancers and given some parents hope as well. I’ll continue blogging, of course. I haven’t had much time recently because I’ve been working on a new book. Plus, I have been concerned about writing about Julian, but I’ll be contacting Semperoper to see if I can get permission to write more about him in the future. Plus, I’ve heard your concerns and questions and I hope to continue addressing them. Watch for some changes to the blog and site in the next 3-6 months!

The post My Son Lands A Corps de Ballet Contract! appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

A Parent’s Job

I believe that a primary aspect of a parent’s job is to raise their children so they can fulfill their lives’ calling and/or pursue their passion, thus creating a life of meaning. To do this usually requires exposure to many different experiences and endeavors. That means a parent must be open to children exploring things that interest them as they grow up, even if it is outside a parent’s comfort zone. (The caveat being that these things should not be illegal or detrimental to them or to others, and dance certainly does not fall into this category.) So, as a father you do your job, be the grown up, set a good example, and support your son’s interests even if they happen to be something that is unfamiliar to you or makes you a bit uncomfortable.

Open Your Mind, Open Your Heart

Fathers so often seem to have a set idea of what they want to see in their sons. (I know that I am now stereotyping, but it fits with those who do not support sons that dance. Therefore, I will take the license I am granted as the opinionated writer.) The importance and prestige of sports is so ingrained in our society, and the football, basketball, baseball, or soccer star is highly sought and valued—especially by most fathers. However, virtually no one equates the athletic skills necessary for those sports with what it takes to become a great dancer. Many fathers just look at the stereotype of a dancer, especially a ballet dancer—effeminate, gay, weak, not tough, a sissy, etc., etc., etc. This perception demonstrates ignorance and lack of understanding of what it really takes to become a professional dancer.

My son is one of the most gifted athletes I have ever known or seen. He could have done anything—played any sport of his choice—and been among the elite. If he had focused on a sport as much as he did on his dancing, he could have played division 1 soccer, baseball, or lacrosse, though he is probably too small for football or basketball. And yet, he chose to dance, and he will be one of the very few that makes it into the professional ranks of his chosen athletic endeavor.

He Needs Your Support, It’s A Tough Road

Julian was lucky. He had the full and unquestioned support of both of his parents. Even though I grew up loving soccer and playing in both high school and college, I totally supported his choice from the beginning. He chose dancing over soccer, and I was sad to not see him play any longer, but I was happy to see him dance. With the amount of grief he withstood from his peers for his choice it was a good thing he did have my support. He has told me directly how important it was for his primary male role model to show and tell him it was okay to pursue dance. With all the harassment he endured from kids in middle and high school (and even occasionally in elementary school), it is possible that my strong disapproval would have been too much and may have driven him to quit what I knew to be his passion.

A father’s disapproval would certainly be a stunting message to convey to your child! Your son’s passion is not as important as your prejudices.

I wanted Julian to pursue his passion—something he loved and that meant more to him than anything else in the world. To become a dancer, especially a professional one as Julian has done, one must love it and virtually not be able to live without it. It requires so much sacrifice—growing up, if you are serious, you give up most other sports, many social events, and endure the teasing, name-calling, bullying, and lack of friends because of this choice; as a young person you must put up with even more severe harassment from peers, possibly giving up a semblance of a normal teenagers life if you opt for home-schooling (not our choice with Julian) so more time can be spent on dance, spending 20 or more hours per week in the studio, seven days per week, three hours per day, and often having to drive long distances to attend the best dance schools, giving up friends, weekends, sporting events at school, and often, if they are good enough, leaving their families to attend one of the top dance schools in a far off city that provides them the best opportunity to succeed at their passion. Then, even for men, at this elite level the competition is so stiff that after all the hard work, dedication, passion, and sacrifice, a job may not be forth coming. There are so few positions. An artistic director may not see in your son’s dancing what he or she wants or needs. What a disappointment, especially since this comes after your son has made it to this point put in all that hard work, sacrifice and the fact that physically his body has held up that long.

Indeed, dancing is so hard on the body. As a dancer grows up and becomes more serious, he begins to specialize in a type of dance so he can begin getting recognized in that style. He may go to class or rehearsal six to seven days per week during the school year (September – June) with just a week or two off during this period. He works to perfect technique, to learn more, to get more exposure, to not fall behind someone else willing to work even harder. All of this includes doing the same moves over and over and over to perfect them, risking overuse and repetitive motion injuries. Then there is the pressure to jump higher, execute more turns, lift girls more often and higher. The classes and search for perfection never ends, and the mirror at the front of the class only shows the flaws.

So What’s Not To Like (Admire)

In the midst of having to be incredibly dedicated and focused, a male dancer has to also be an incredible athlete—to press girls over their heads, jump incredibly high, show amazing balance, display near perfect technique, develop a superior physique, and be graceful and poised as well as an artist. So what is there not to admire about this endeavor? What is there in this activity a young male dancer—your son—has chosen that is not amazing?

I find it awesome that all of this can be wrapped up in one individual. I cannot understand what there is not to be proud of. I am confounded by fathers who won’t support sons who are willing to do something this hard, willing to sacrifice as much as this endeavor requires, are so athletically gifted, rise to the demands of the art form, and find a way despite the fact that they are males to do it with such delicacy and artistry and to produce astoundingly beautiful and transcendent dance for us to watch.

A Male Dancer Does Not Equate to Gay

What part of a son dancing produces something for which a father would be ashamed? What part is so embarrassing to a father that he would selfishly deny his son the opportunity to possibly find his life’s passion and to give the world his gift?

Are you worried that your son may be gay—or that dancing will make him so? Dancing won’t make someone gay any more than forcing someone to play football or go hunting regularly will “make him a man” and prevent him from becoming gay if that is his sexual orientation. Being a dancer is not going to dictate whether a person is gay or not.

Yes, there are many male dancers that are gay and, thus, it is quite accepted in this community. Yet, many, including my son, are not gay, and dancing has nothing to do with “turning” someone gay or not.

And what if your dancin’ boy discovers along the way that he is gay? Will you love him less? And if you don’t let him dance and he “becomes” gay anyway, will you then regret that you didn’t let him express himself in a way that would have fed his soul (and offered him a career he loved) simply because you thought dancing would change his sexual preference?

Tips for Getting Dance Dad’s To Support Dancin’ Boys

1. Dance Mom’s—Remind Dance Dad’s of their Responsibility.

My wife advised me that since this is a blog post I should offer tips. My knee jerk response, since I don’t have much patience with ignorance and intolerance, is that someone (the prospective dancin’ boy’s mom, if she truly cares about her son) should take a two by four and hit this stupid man up side the head and remind him of his responsibility toward his son: to support him and nurture his interests so he finds his passion and he can hopefully find his best way in the world as he grows and becomes a man (and a professional dancer, if he so chooses)

2. Support your son’s interests while they live at home (or for an agreed upon time frame after that).

Now, if the primary objection is that your son cannot make any money as a dancer, then I do hear that. This has been a concern of mine as well. Julian has fortunately been offered a contract with a prominent ballet company in Europe and will be doing quite well financially for a 19 year-old starting his first job. However, ultimately your son will have to find his own way, and if this is what he is passionate about then my advice – no, not advice – order/instruction to fathers out there is to support your son’s interest while he is in the home and for a discussed period of time after that.

3. Make financial decisions together until your dancin’ boy can make them alone.

I would advise use of college funds, if required; we used Julian’s to pay for what we considered his “finishing school”—SAB (School of American Ballet) —which gave him not only his final training but access to auditions and visibility to the company for which he will work next year. However, this was after many long and sometimes contentious discussions between his mother, Julian and I.

At some point the son will have to make his own decision about whether he will find a way to make it work financially or not and whether to move on despite his passion and hard work if jobs are not forthcoming, painful though it may be. This will likely come around the time he has to begin auditioning for companies.

4. Let your dancin’ boy know you are there for him, that he is loved and appreciated—no matter what.

Whether your son succeeds or fails, makes the right decisions or the wrongs ones, he turns out gay or straight, gets injured or stays strong and healthy, make sure he always knows he has your support. That’s your job—so do it!

About the Author

Ron Lacey is the husband of Nina Amir, the author of this blog, and the father of Julian Amir Lacey, the dancin’ son that gave this blog a reason to exist. He has always been an aspiring writer but works as a C-level finance executive primarily for start-ups in the high-tech industry.

The post The Father’s Role: Support Your Dancin’ Boy appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Here’s what I heard from one mother of a dancin’ son:

We couldn’t get a meeting with my son’s studio director or teachers regarding summer intensive auditions for this year. He attended a 2-week intensive last summer and absolutely loved it, so he wants more this summer. He’s cast in two productions at the moment, and the school director wouldn’t allow my son to go to other summer intensive auditions due to rehearsals every weekend. It took us three rescheduled meetings to finally meet with her to be told this decision. Fortunately we had already taken him to the one audition in early January. He received a full-tuition scholarship for a 5-week program run by a large, prestigious ballet program. We notified his director that he will be going and haven’t heard a word back from her… No congratulations, no acknowledgement, nothing. I recently received feedback through the grapevine that she is furious that he did audition and that he is going to this intensive. As one of only a few boys who are at the studio every day taking classes and rehearsing, I can’t understand her failure to respond. It’s a harsh reality that the teachers and directors don’t always want the best for the boys.

When I asked this mom to post her comment on the blog, she said the studio had “strict rules” about posting negative things on the internet and social networking sites. God forbid a parent should complain about such behavior from a dance school director, right, no less make it public?

Here’s the thing, as I said in my last post, there comes a point when you have to become your son’s manager. This is one of those times. Only you have your dancin’ boy’s best interests at heart. (Or you should—even if it means longer drives to dance class. The woman above said she is at her driving limit—35-60 minutes each way to the studio; we thought 45 minutes three to four times per week was our limit but ended up driving 90 minutes each way seven days a week for a full year.)

They Need Your Son More than You Need Their Studio

Stop being afraid of the studio owners, ballet masters, and teachers—even the ones with long performing histories or who come from countries where they demand more respect than here in the U.S. Stand up for yourself and for your son. Claim your power. In fact, you don’t need a formal meeting. If you can’t get your studio director or teacher to set a meeting, corner him or her in the hallway. Tell him or her you need a decision now—or you’ll make one on your own.  If she can’t talk…or find time…tell her you will make the decision—or take your son elsewhere. Plenty of studios will want your son, especially if he has a smidgen of talent—and possibly give him a scholarship to boot.

If you aren’t sure if your son has talent, should go to an intensive, should switch studios, etc, you can always pay to have him seen by someone else and to get advice. Or ask a visiting choreographer or teacher. Or trust your gut. You and your son know what is best for him. And you know when you and he are not being treated the way you want to be treated.

I don’t recommend making a uniformed decision, though. Do your research. Ask questions. Have conversations. We spent a lot of time talking to Julian about what he wanted and discussion the pros and cons of changing studios and giving up one thing for another. We also took the time to research what dancers had come out of different studios, who the instructors at each school were, and where the dancers had ended up. We tried to talk to the dancers and the parents at different studios; you can do this while your child takes a class or auditions there. Do due diligence. It’s your right and your job. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Pay attention to the signs—they are there. You know if your son is being stifled, not growing and learning, not being allowed to pursue his interests—and this is a clear indication it’s time for change. And if you don’t make a change it will lead to one end and one end only: He will quit dancing. If he wants to be a triple threat, for example, let him be one—despite what anyone tells you, and it’s a rare ballet studio director who will ever tell you to let your son learn to sing, although they may tell him to learn to act. And they likely won’t tell you to let him learn other styles of dance, although to this day I believe that is what has made Julian such a good mover. (Yes, some of that is natural, but some of it comes from learning many styles of dance rather than only standing stiffly at the barre.) And the fact that he had two years of contemporary dance training (and two contemporary ballet summer intensives as well) and another year at a ballet studio that included contemporary ballet each week (and performance pieces) helped him land his him his current position in Germany. The artistic director immediately knew he had contemporary training because it was evident in the way he moved.

Know When Your Son is Doing Too Much or Too Little

Let your son follow his heart to as much as possible. As his manger, do what you know is best for him, including curtailing some activities and adding in others, like private lessons. If your son, like mine, wants to be involved in every performance—at the studio and at school—you may have to put your foot down and say, “No.” This can be very hard to do, I know. But one parent mentioned to me that her ballet studio actually encourages the students to be in musicals, which is great. However, her son seems to be in everything—not uncommon when studios have few boys. That means he is juggling a ton of rehearsals. When your dancin’ boy spends too much time performing and rehearsing and not enough time in class, his dance education suffers. His technique suffers.

Performance experience is very important; I’ve seen boys get on stage for the first time at age 16 or 17, when they need to be job hunting soon; they need more performance experience than that. However, if they’ve spent most of their time performing rather than training, they will lack the fundamentals—they won’t have pointed feet, they won’t have correct arm placement, etc. Your son should spend more time training than performing. A studio that focuses more time on training is actually better, as long as there are ample opportunities for performance. This means you need to evaluate how much time your son is in class as opposed to in rehearsal.

You have to look at the overall time your son is spending—on everything. Boys (and girls) get burned out. They need time off. They love to be in the studio dancing every chance they can. But be sure their bodies and their minds get down time. Julian used to just want to sit for hours in front of the television and do nothing if he had any time off at all. He just needed that. It wasn’t great…but it was the repercussion of being so overcommitted. If they are overcommitted for long periods of time, and if they over train and over perform, one of two things will happen: they will get injured or they will quit. If someone at your studio is not watching out for their time commitments, you need to do this. I’ve seen too many great dancers with severe injuries and burnout that sent them away from the studio—forever.

Your Son Will Thank You for Becoming His Manager

Step up to the plate. Begin managing your son’s dance career. Don’t be intimidated by your studio director, teacher or ballet master. He or she is more afraid of losing your son than you should be of losing the studio. There are plenty of great ballet and dance studios. Yes, you may have to drive farther to get to them and sacrifice a bit, but typically when you make the change it is the right thing.

You might make some hard decisions—some even your son might not like or agree with initially. However, he’ll know they are right, too. He’ll even admit it—eventually. Recently Julian thanked us because he feels he has never stopped learning. Instead, he has always been at studios where he was able to learn what he wanted and needed to learn at the time he needed to learn it. That takes being your son’s manager.

Photo courtesy of allgord | istockphoto.com

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Audition for many summer intensives to see if your son gets a scholarship to one or more.

With summer ballet intensives the topic of conversation at this time of the year, I’d like to take the time to address a question I often get from dance moms and dads: When is the right time to send my dancin’ boy off to an expensive summer intensive?

Let me preface my answer by saying that every boy is different. And his teacher will know best when the time is right for him to branch out and go somewhere else to be seen and to experience other teachers. I am by no means an expert at evaluating if a dancin’ boy is at the perfect level or emotional state to leave the womb of his current studio and venture out into what might be a very different and much more competitive environment from what he is used to.

However, I want to caution you that your son’s dance teachers may not always be the right ones to ask for advice either. Some schools and teachers encourage participation in summer intensives outside the school. Others frown on it or even disallow it. Keep in mind that if you ask your son’s teacher or school director for advice, he or she may have his or her own interests at heart as well as your dancin’ boy’s interests. By this I mean that dance studio owners and dance teachers have fears—and with good reason—that if they send their students off to other schools for the summer, the boys won’t come back. And with boys so hard to come by, they may be inclined to advise your son to stick around for their in-house intensive rather than risk losing him to some other school (and possibly a school with more boys and a bigger or better program).

This is where being the best dance mom or dad means becoming your son’s manager. Literally. If you don’t have someone you can trust to ask for advice—someone with no financial interest in your son’s career—then you must start managing his career for him. You must learn to do what you feel is best for him.

When should you send your son to a summer dance intensive?

• If you see that he has been getting good parts in the school shows, is moving up in class levels and is even excelling to the point of being one of the best in class.
• If you feel your son is not getting seen in class, not getting the corrections you or he would like to get during class and not getting the parts he wants in school shows.
• If your son feels he has hit a plateau.
• If you feel your son’s teachers can’t take him to the next level.
• If your son is not dancing with many boys.
• If your son is not getting to partner very much (and is at the age where he should be partnering).
• If your son has the desire to explore other schools.
• If you or your son thinks a year-round residential program is the next step in his dance education.
• If your son wants to experience the dance program at a college he is interested in attending.
• If your son is not getting high enough quality ballet instruction and wants to supplement during the summer (or is in a program with a variety of types of dance and wants more ballet training).
• If your son wants to explore a particular type of dance, like contemporary ballet, hip hop, tap, or classical ballet.

The other question I get asked that seems to go with the first question is: When should I pay for the expensive programs—and how? If you feel your son is ready for a summer, it’s time to pay for one! If you think he’s ready to attend a large, expensive ballet program like ABT, SAB, SFB, Harid, Boston Ballet, or some other similar program, then it’s time to ask for a scholarship or get ready to pay the big bucks. (Best to start saving early if you can…) Some programs will offer your son scholarships, but others will not.

Parents pay for these expensive programs in a variety of ways, such as giving up vacations, living with friends or relatives rather than in the dorms or an apartment (if housing isn’t included) or even dipping into college funds. (We did not do the latter until Julian went into a residential program during the school year.) Every program you enroll your son in that helps him get to his goal—professional dancer—is part of his education including a summer dance intensive. If he does not plan to go to college, every single dance class equates to career-related education. When you decide to dip into a college fund (or if you do) or to make the family sacrifice for one member, again, is a personal choice.

And if you can’t afford one of the programs, then find one that will offer your son a scholarship. Send him off to every audition that comes to town, and take the best deal he’s offered. In the meantime, save your pennies and dimes until you can afford one of the other programs. He’ll learn something no matter where he goes. If he is young, in particular, he has time to go to the larger more expensive programs. Start small and build up if you must.

Don’t forget to purchase a copy of the revised and updated
Summer Dance Intensive Handbook
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Photo courtesy of istockphoto.com

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My Son Can Dance did, indeed, move forward to the next round of the contest. Now I need your votes. You can cast a vote by clicking here and then voting for my blog in the “Career Dancer” category (where I have a small chance of placing) and in “Your Favorite Dance Blog” category as well. I really appreciate you taking the time to vote. :~)

Also, I’ve been getting a lot of questions about summer dance intensives. I will try to find time to write a post about this soon. In the meantime, I have updated The Summer Dance Intensive Handbook: How to Choose the Best Program for Your Child and Help Your Dancer Get the Most Out of the Experience, which is for dancin’ boys and girls. It has a complete chapter on the ABT intensive, but now makes reference to SAB and SFB as well and has a bit of information on how these intensives can lead to invitations to year-round residential ballet programs. It has a ton of useful tips from ballet great Rasta Thomas as well as a nutrition expert. It’s a great guide for choosing an intensive and helping your dancin’ boy get the most out of it–and stay healthy.

Plus, I have lowered the price of the Handbook to $2.99 (from $7.99). If you purchase it from Smashwords.com, you can save an additional 20% by using this Valentine’s Day coupon, which is good from now until Feb. 15.

The Summer Dance Intensive Handbook
Promotional price: $2.39
Coupon Code: TB69Z
Expires: February 15, 2013

You can also purchase it at Amazon.

If you have purchased the Handbook in the past, or you purchase one now, I’d love it if you would leave a (good) review either one Smashwords or on Amazon. It helps me sell more copies.

Last, but not least, I am sorry to say that I will not be sharing much news at all about Julian here. Big news, yes. While I had an interview post with him prepared, he has asked me to keep him “off the blog” because he is involved in actual performances at Semperoper. As I’ve said in the past, as a professional dancer, he must conduct himself as one…and I must treat him as one. I would need to ask permission to interview any other professional dancer or discuss his roles, etc. So, until further notice, you will not hear much about him here… :~(

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The dancin’ boys of Centralia Ballet Academy.

When I received an email from Mick Gunter, who own and runs the Centralia Ballet Academy with his wife in Centralia, WA, I took notice. They started the school three years ago in a small rural town in the southwestern part of the State, yet in the first year of the program, they attracted a whopping five young male dancers—more than some medium and large metropolitan ballet programs. In 2011, when Mick first contacted me, he boasted of 18 boys in the program, including a dad who did the class with his son. Not only that, the school catered to those boys with special programming. The boys participated in stage combat training and had a special private workshop with one of the cast members of Billy Elliot and worked with a traveling circus.

Centralia Ballet Academy, was established in 2009. It now have about 80 students; over 20 of them are boys. This last October, the Academy completed its first production, a full length ballet version of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. It will become the Academy’s Halloween Nutcracker. In 2014, the males students from Centralia Ballet Academy will perform at the Men in Dance festival in Seattle.

Since the number of boys enrolled in Centralia Ballet Academy far exceeded many other ballet programs and the boys programming seemed stellar, I asked Mick to answer some questions for me, for other studio owners and dance teachers, and for parents. While parents and boys reading this post may think, “Hey! My studio doesn’t offer this type of programming.” Or, “Why doesn’t my son’s dance program get as many boys coming to the studio?” I hope that reading Mick’s responses will give you “ammunition”—good suggestions—to take to your studio owners or dance teachers. Additionally, reading about his program will give you an idea of what to look for in a boys’ ballet program. As for studio owners and teachers, there’s much here in Mick’s brief answers to mull over.

How did you initially attract the boys into your studio?

“We just offered the class and let people in the community know about it. The boys in the class invite their buddies to come try it out, and some of them stay and continue.”

Have you put special emphasis on bringing boys into your studio since then?

“Not really. Our first year, we offered a boys class that my wife, Nancy, and I taught together on Saturday mornings where we had five students. The second year, we again offered the boys ballet class and a boys creative movement class for 4-7 year olds, that I taught solo. By October of last year, the boys ballet class grew to 16 boys, and the creative movement class had 6. I had to split the first class into two.”

You have done some special things with the boys, such as working with the circus, bringing in a dancer from Billy Elliot. Is this to attract boys or to keep them interested, and how is that working for the studio?

“The special things I’ve done with boys class, which also included bringing in fencing, acrobatics, and stage combat teachers, was mostly based on things that I wanted to do. I grew up in a small town (around 1,000 people) and didn’t get to participate in a dance class until college. The boys do enjoy those activities (we also invite the girls to participate in some of these as well), but they are becoming more focused on being better dancers. We also work in plyometrics and building upper body strength, which the guys will need to jump higher and for partnering.”

Are you the only studio around or do you have competition? If you have competition, how do you get the boys into the studio?

“There are a couple of other studios in the county, and they’ve both been around much longer than we have. I don’t think any of those schools have a boys program.”

Do you have male teachers, and how do your male teachers interact with the boys to keep them interested?

“I teach the boys classes. A lot of my interaction is based on my own experiences growing up and establishing mutual respect. If they mess up or don’t listen in class, I work quick to remedy that. If they do well, I not only let them know but have them demonstrate what they are doing to the rest of the class. I also try to connect our boys with older, more experienced male dancers. Whenever possible, we try to give them the opportunity to meet with and observe established male dancers.

What’s the key to attracting and keeping boys in a small rural studio?

“I think the main key to attracting and keeping boys in a small rural studio is letting them know that there is a place for them. We have a great group of boys and young men who defy all types of stereotypes. Many of them are hunters, who come to the studios in hiking boots and camo, change into tights and slippers and then go back into the woods after class is over. We have a few football players, Boy Scouts, and Civil Air Patrolmen.”

What issues do you face with the boys in your studio in general and specific to dance, and how do you deal with them?

“Other than the occasional “love triangle” that can develop between our male and female dancers, we have been lucky enough to not have many issues with our guy students. Basically, all of our boys, and girls, are nice kids. If a boy joins up with us and he has a little bit of an attitude, he will see that the other guys are very respectful to each other and their teachers and will eventually get in line.”

What additional advice would you give to studio owners?

John Max in the studio at Centralia Ballet Academy.

“If a studio wants to start a boys program, here are a few things to remember:

• It may start as small trickle of students, one or two. But stick with it.
• If you can find a good male teacher, use him.
• Boys are hardwired to be wild, loud, and adventurous. Ballet can also be all of those things.
• Boys also have a compassionate, nurturing side. Encourage that so the students can help support each other.”

What advice would you give to parents about choosing a studio and teachers for their budding young male dancers?

“If parents have a budding young male dancer, they should find teachers and a studio that has a foundation of classical technique. If they want to do hip hop, jazz, or competition style dancing, ballet will give them a strong foundation that will greatly benefit them. They should also have teachers who realize that, at a certain point, male dancers will need to be taught differently than the girls.”

The post How a Ballet Program in Rural WA Attracts and Trains Male Dancers appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Plus, entering offers me an opportunity to get feedback from my readers.

Here’s the thing: I’m going to tell you how to help me win the contest–or at least get through the first stage. Then I’m going to ask you to do something of even more value to me.

To get to the voting stage of the contest (stage two), I need lots of comments. That means YOU HAVE TO COMMENT ON THIS BLOG POST. But I don’t want you to just comment and tell  me why you read this blog and how much you love it, although that’s what the contest ask for. Anyone can get comments like that. Here’s where the value part comes in. While those types of comments are nice for my ego, what would help me more are comments that tell me what you’d like to read about here on the blog. So I’d like you to leave me comments below about such things as:

• the issues that concern you
• topics you’d like me to discuss
• interviews you might want me to conduct
• subjects that would help you help your son (if you are a parent)
• subjects that would help you succeed as a dancer (if you are a dancer)
• subjects that would help you bring boys in to your studio or teach boys more effectively (if you are a studio owner)

Of course, the more comments you leave, the more I’ll have to write about–especially since I can’t write too much about Julian these days. And, the more comments you leave, the higher likelihood I have of getting into the second round of the Dance Advantage contest. If I do get to the second stage (or the third), I will, of course, tell you, so you can vote. (My competitive nature will likely kick in, but last year there were studios involved and I couldn’t compete with their engagement level.)

So, go for it! Comment away on this post and tell me what you’d like me to write about over the next year or so. And include those words of praise as well, if you like. :~)

The post Time to Tell Me What You Like…and What You Want appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

While I in Germany I spent two days in Berlin where my husband had business. Then we took a 2 ½ hour bus trip down to Dresden to see Julian. He picked us up at the bus station. We arrived late—after Julian’s performance that night. It was cold and the sidewalks and streets were slushy. We rolled our suitcases through the dark streets. We spent the next two days walking on the same slushy streets everywhere we went, as we did in Berlin. You’d think with all that snow the German’s would put down salt so people wouldn’t slip and fall. Nope. They use some sort of gravel or dirt.

The next morning we were able to watch Julian take company class. I also watched company class on two other mornings after my husband went back to Berlin. (He stayed just through the weekend, but I stayed in Dresden for four days.) The first time we watched, the class was small. I can’t remember why, but not as many company members were required to be there. There was a matinee that day. Some of the dancers already had on makeup, like Julian, and had their hair done, etc. The second time I watched, the class was a bit bigger, and the third time it was almost full—plus there were a few people auditioning as well.

I was surprised and pleased to discover I was able to be in the facility with not much “to do.” At San Francisco Ballet, for example, I’d never be able to just walk in with my son and wander down the hall and into the room to watch class with no one paying any attention to me. (There is a small staircase to a balcony where guests can watch class.) There you have to sign in and be escorted to a studio. Julian got upset at me at one point for texting him while he was in class; I had no idea he was in class. He told me I could have walked down the hall and discovered this fact for myself. I would have never dreamed of doing so!

Company classes were interesting to watch but not much different than any other ballet class I’ve seen before. Of course, the level of dance was higher. It was fun to see so many dancers from so many different countries—United States, Italy, Russia, Germany (just 2), Japan, Czechoslovakia, Canada, England, Spain, France—and that’s part of what makes the company so unique, I think. And it was just a bit thrilling to see my dancin’ boy in class with all those professional ballet dancers.

In general, Julian seems to be doing well at Semperoper Ballett. He loves the company classes and enjoys the ballet masters at Semperoper. He feels he fits in well with the company members and is happy dancing in the company and, of course with the company in performances. (He also has friends in the company and in Dresden.) He prefers to be in the company classes, but when he isn’t performing with the company he is relegated to Palucca University of Dance. The last time this will happen is from mid-January through March. During this period he will not only take classes at Palucca but also rehearse for the final school show, in which he has soloist role. Julian gave me a tour of Palucca—a really beautiful, modern facility—and met his ballet teacher.

The move to Germany to dance was a good one, Julian believes. He is learning a lot when dancing with the company and from the other company members–some who have taken him under their wing a bit. He thinks dancing in Europe in general is a good thing, and he hopes to stay there for a while longer–hopefully with Semperoper.

In January, Semperoper Ballett’s artistic director, Aaron S. Watkins, will tell Julian if he (or any of the apprentices), have a full corps spot in the company or if they should go out and audition. January and February are the months when apprentices audition around Europe. Julian could also audition in the States at that time if need be. He plans to audition if necessary, but, as mentioned, he’d like to stay with Semperoper Ballett if possible.

Getting a spot in the company is not only dependent upon Julian’s performance. There must be an open spot. Even if there are two corps spots open, as the apprentices were told at one point earlier this season, Aaron could actually combine these to create a soloist spot, for example; that would mean no corps spots would be available for next year.

One of the young men who auditioned for Semperoper while I was there was told no spots were open at this time. Whether that means they are spoken for (apprentices have been chosen for any open spots), the open spots have been combined, or contracts have been offered to other dancers, there is no way to know. I guess we’ll find out in January.

I had the good luck of meeting Aaron on my last day there. He came upstairs where I was watching class, shook my hand and we had a chance to briefly chat.

I loved Dresden. I spent part of a day walking around with my husband and Julian and some time working in the local Starbucks. I ate at the Christmas Market and shopped there for a few gifts. The city is lovely—much nicer than Berlin. It’s quaint and pretty, although the area where we stayed looked a bit dingy. I’m told it’s kind of the hipster area, though.

I didn’t get to see the dorm building where Julian stays. I did get to experience some of his life…Kaffee mit Milch and Schokolade Brötchen  for breakfast each day (coffee with milk and a bread roll filled with chocolate chips). We stopped into some of the other places he likes to eat–lots of pizza and calzones, not surprisingly. I met a few of his friends both at Semperoper and at the apartment…and sat and talked with him as he sipped wine. (He also drank Gluwein, a fuity wine, with his Dad at the Christmas Mart.)

Life’s a lot different than at home…Not the best diet. Drinking legally. Not taking vitamins regularly. He’s grown up in lots of ways very fast. Does that means he now handles all his “stuff”? Well…he’s much better. And he likes Mom interfering even less…

And I just let go as much as I can. It’s his life now.

Overall, the trip was a success—except that my husband never got to see Julian perform the Russian dance. (We’re hoping maybe he’ll get to see a recording at some point.) I went back to Berlin for a day and a half, during which I mostly worked. I did a tad bit more sightseeing, but to be honest, the winter weather in Germany is not conducive to doing much. It’s always grey, cold and damp—as in really grey. And it gets dark really early. I couldn’t live there.

Julian has two weeks off, and he’s spending them romping around Berlin, Milan, Florence, and Paris with his sister. We’ve seen photos. They are having fun. He deserves some time off. His body could use the break. I’ll write about body workers, etc., in another post.

Happy New Year! We will see what 2013 brings.

The post Visiting My Dancin’ Boy in Dresden appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Two years ago Julian performed the grand pas de deux in the City Ballet School Nutcracker in San Francisco, CA. That was a huge role, which he later took on to YAGP for a first place regional win as well. I remember watching each performance so proudly and holding my breath at each lift.

In the past, I’ve seen him dance Fritz and the prince in the San Jose Dance Theater production in San Jose, CA. When he was quite young, he was in the party scene for Ballet San Jose in San Jose–a minor professional part.

As the curtain came up in Dresden, Germany, at the beautiful Semperoper theater this past Tuesday, first I saw Julian in a small acting role. Nothing much…an urchin like vendor in a Christmas Fair booth. (Germany is known for it’s Christmas fairs, and this gave the production a bit of a German feel.) A little later, I tried to make out which of many mice could possibly be Julian; ah, yes, the one there by the clock covering his eyes and acting afraid! I tried to follow him as he made his way around the stage, but it wasn’t easy. All the mice looked alike. I think I saw him doing battle, rolling around a bit, and back by the clock again fighting with another mouse.

Then… the curtain rose for the second act, and I waited impatiently through the country dances—all beautifully performed until… Russian! I leaned forward in my seat watching intently as my son—the apprentice—took the stage. Perfect! And how thrilling to see him dancing a role I’m told has previously only danced by Semperoper Ballet soloists and coryphées. I would have never known he was just an apprentice by his dancing or stage presence, though I’m biased, but I don’t think anyone else would have either.

The Russian dance is always one of the audience favorites, and it pleased the crowd as usual—and me in particular. Unfortunately, my husband was not there to see. He’d returned to Berlin to work two days earlier. We’d watched a performance on Saturday (I was tired and dozed a bit, I fear), but Julian had not danced the role of Russian then because he’d injured his back just a few days before. This was a huge disappointment for both of us but in particular for my husband.

As for the Semperoper Nutcracker in general, the dancing was spectacular, as I expected it would be. I must admit I missed the dramatic choreography of the grand pas, which Julian performed previously (You can see it here; it’s the second video on the page.)–I think I’ll never be satisfied again unless I see that particular rendition. I loved the choreography of the Arabian dance, which I often find boring. I enjoyed getting to see Sarah Hay, a close friend of Julian’s, perform Clara twice, and she did a spectacular job, in particular the second time I watched. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the ballet and would look forward to traveling to Dresden to see it again.

That said, I could probably live my whole life without ever seeing the Nutcracker again, but the thrill of sitting in Semperoper, that beautiful German opera house with it’s ceiling painted with portraits of composers and sculptures lining the stage, and seeing my son—not even a full company member yet, dance as a professional could keep me coming back to see the show over and over again. And I hope to do so in years to come—and to see him in ever larger roles.

More on the rest of my trip in the next post…

The post My Son’s First Professional Nutcracker Performance appeared first on My Son Can Dance.

Nutcracker image

After much back and forth, I’m off to Germany to see Julian for the first time since he left in August! Yippee!

My husband and I talked about the possibility of going at this time of year to see Julian and then decided we would wait until spring when Julian might have a role in one of the Semperoper Ballett classical ballets. He didn’t expect to have a big role in the Nutcracker. Airline tickets to Germany are expensive in December.

However, the company my husband works for is being sold, and the chances for him to go over on the company’s dime after December started looking slim to none, which meant we’d have to pay for two tickets rather than one if we went later. (And he’ll be out of a job come end of December or January.) So, when he told me he was taking what might be his final business trip to Berlin this coming week, I said I wanted to go, too. Especially since Julian no longer had a minor role in the Nutcracker. (Berlin is just 2 hours or so from Dresden.)

In fact, Julian was given a role as a mouse in the Semperoper Ballett Nutcracker…a role he was not too happy about. Seems he felt he’d avoided that role his whole career to date. And, indeed, he had. Two years before, he danced the Grand Pax–even took it on the YAGP and placed first regionally (see the video below). But most men in most ballet companies play the role of a mouse, I’ve been told. And like most male ballet dancers, Julian got over it, and took to his mouse role quite well and with a good attitude.

Then…then…he was given a role in Russian! And in first cast no less. He is dancing this role in more than half of the performances. This is one of the harder “country” dances, and it’s a coryphées-type role (between corpse and second soloist); these, if you recall, are small group dancers.

I can’t wait to actually see Julian in person and talk with him. It feels like forever since I’ve seen him, and its been difficult to communicate with him since calling has been hard and he has no internet in his room, which prevents us from Skyping either. This means communication has been very limited. And there have been few photos–just a couple on Facebook.

Anyway, I hope to have some things to report by this time next week…and maybe photos, too.

Photo courtesy of microsoftclipart.com

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