My Taiwan Times

From the Incredible! Series: The Amazing 10 Fingered Lady

2009-02-24T08:41:00.004+08:00

No special FX or web trickery were used to produce this genuine footage. Don't try this at home.

I can't quite say how old she was but over 70 for sure. I did ask, via my intepreter (the wife), how come she still had all her fingers she laughed my question off and said: practice.

Practice makes perfect and saves limbs. Remember that.

For the record, this was a Chinese New Year related offering. The chicken, as well as all sorts of other goodies, were eventually offered to the gods. Fortunately it did find its way to to my tummy.

Touch Your Heart

2009-02-22T14:15:00.005+08:00

This is the blurb adopted by the Taiwanese government to promote tourism. I don't think it's a particularly good one. It would have worked for some initiative by an organisation of heart surgeons, but not when you're trying to promote a country like Taiwan.

On the technical side of things it's not particularly efficient. Given the travel industry relies on the web for it's existance it would have made sense to include the most import keyword: "Taiwan." India, global centre of out-sourced SEOs (Search Engine Optimisers), got it right with their Incredible India campaign.

Also, www.touchyourheart.com was never registered and has since become one of a gazillion useless squatted domains.

"Touch Your Heart" is vague and a bit on the cheesy side. More importantly, it doesn't describe what Taiwan has to offer. It doesn't come close to representing the experience.

Back to the drawing board: what are Taiwan's selling points?

The government is eager to get more people to the island and develop its tourism industry. Visa restrictions are being lifted and cross-straight travel is now a reality. There is talk of building casinos too.

With money pouring in, whoever is responsible for promoting Taiwan's image should get back to the drawing board and deliver ideas that are original, creative and... true. There isn't a lack of talent - the creative industry, albeit small-scale and hidden under rocks, is top-notch. It shouldn't be hard for some clever people to come up with a super-effective campaign.

So what are Taiwan's the selling points? I've been here less than a year but I've spotted a few:

Technology - This is a high-tech country that produces amazing technology. A geek paradise. I would pay money for a tour of Acer's innovation labs, for example. Also, with the money you save buying techy stuff here you can cover your airfare.

Nature (a well kept secret)- When you land in Taipei and make your way to a city you don't see particularly beautiful scenery. Quite the opposite and the result of rather chaotic urbanthe most beautiful scenery. Honestly, when I travelled around the island in 2005 I was suprised by its beauty. An campaign promoting Taiwan's natural resources should play on this juxtaposition: the urban, high-tech and somewhat chaotic West VS the lush greenery and dolomite-like mountains of the East.

Healthcare - Taiwan has developed one of the world's best healthcare systems. It's efficient and cheap. For example, my wife's eye test last week cost less than 5 Euros. Not only that, the doctor suggested she have a small laser-based op the same day, which she did the same morning in a nearby hospital.

Birth-giving - It is common for Taiwanese women to sign themselves into a clinic for a month after giving birth. The idea, which is a traditional one so nothing new (and doesn't have to involve a clinic), is for the mother to be pampered for 40 days circa after childbirth. During this time nurses take care of the baby, the baby's daily needs and smelly by-products, leaving the mom to do... well, nothing. Partners can stay too (optionally). Staying in a clinic 40 days is not cheap but is affordable enough for most professionals. Such clinics should be marketed to 30+ female professionals in rich countries.

Food (Touch Your Stomach) - I'm Italian, I know food. I love Taiwanese food so much that whenever I'm back in Europe I don't dare to go to a Chinese restaurant. The secret lies in a similar love of fodo the Taiwanese share with the Italians, and the fresh ingrediants that can bought pretty much anywhere. Fruit deserves a special mention, and one in particular: mango, which owes its juicness to the abundance of rainfall. A separate campaign promoting Taiwanese mangos could attract thousands alone - honestly!

Urban chaos and a feel of the real economy - In the West we strive for pristine lives. We like to have everything neat and tidy, orderly and legal. "Best practice" is a warm and fuzzy word. But the price to pay is things like... having CCTVs set up in every street corner and big companies buying up the high streets. In the UK 1 in every 8 pounds is spent in a Tesco, which will sell you bananas that have been grown to specification. In Taiwan this is not the case, as it's not the case in most Asian countries. But Taiwan sets itself apart because it's advanced and wealthy, yet hasn't lost its asian-ness as much as Singapore has, for example. Walk out of your house and the streets are alive and buzzing: people selling stuff, buying stuff, hanging out, driving over each other, exercising, chilling out. It's often hard to figure out whether a shop is actually someone's living room or not. The boundries between public, semi-public and private are often hazy allowing life to slip through. You can get a feel of the economy at work in your own street as much as what you read in the business section of a newspaper.

Taiwan is... China minus communism - Actually, Taiwan is more that that. The aboriginal cultures are a major asset and selling point. But I think it's fair to say that one can see how China might have developed had it not turned red. With God knows how many missles China has pointing towards Taiwan one appreciates more the value of freedom and democracy.

Got better ideas?

So what blurb could 'sell' Taiwan more effectively? I'll suggest a few silly ones and leave the clever ones to the marketing gurus. I just hope that these people are not the same ones that conceived and built taiwan.net.tw.

Taiwan: Like China Only Better And Free
Incredible Mangos
Taiwan Dot Come
When Geeks Die They Go To Taiwan

Feel free to add more by way of comment...

My Taiwan Pics: Lantern Festival, Taichung

2009-02-21T13:54:00.002+08:00

The pupper thing is a baseballing cow

Test drive: Panasonic Intimist Bidet Seat

2009-01-22T20:50:00.010+08:00

Forgive me if I start off the new year with this rather filthy post.

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I spent the weekend in a lovely hotel in Taipei, a modern thing with ample white-wallage, funky lighting, an all-controlling remote and the bathroom conceived as a walk-in glass box.

After doing so, I was very excited to discover that the toilet was, in fact, an electronic gizmo developed to auto-clean one's ass:

Figure 1

"Paper tends to distribute the problem"

This is what they say on www.washlet.com, a site selling a similar product to the one I tested. The idea being that a strong, focused jet of water aimed precisely at the anus does a much better job than the traditional toilet paper wipe.

Did it work? Well, yes and no. Having only tested it once I don't have enough data for a precise conclusion. What I can say, though, is that to achieve 100% cleanliness (and I won't say "so clean that you would want to eat off it") one should follow a diet consisting primarily of Wheetabix. Also, the system does not feature a feedback mechanism (eg. a cam connected to an LCD screen on the console) to determine whether a satisfactory level of cleanliness has been achieved. One ends up using toilet paper to check for residues anyway.

First use can be traumatic

Unless, of course, one is used to being poked in that spot. I am not.

The jet of water felt like it had the kinetic strength and temperature of a mini-tsunami originating from the antartic. A high-pitched squeel was inevitable.

For testing purposes I tried the pushing the women-only red button (see Figure 1 above). Scrotum sensitivity allowed me to acertain at what distance from my anus my vagina would be positioned had I been born female.

The anus constant (along the X,Y,Z axis)

For the product to be viable the water jet must be able to bullseye the anus each time. This means that every person in the world, no matter what size, height and bone structure, ends up with their anus in the same position, spatially speaking, when sitting on a toilet. It's as if our bodies have been designed specifically for this dynamic. If evolution can't explain this then it can only be a matter of intelligent bidet design.

The Crab Escape

2008-12-14T18:53:00.002+08:00

In Taiwan seafood aspires to be free before becoming as such...

My Taiwan Pics: Taipei 101

2008-11-30T18:46:00.004+08:00

Not quite.

The Cultural Significance of Air-Bound Fish in Traditional Taiwanese Weddings

2008-11-23T19:14:00.007+08:00

In October I blogged about the wedding of Minerva and Simfex (hyperlinkage: alt.taiwan.wedding.pics) and brought to the attention of my readers the significance of balloons at such events. Today I would like to expand on that theme and introduce another important one: the significance of air-bound fish as a central part of the celebration.

Before that, though, more balloonisms....

Hustler & Corby and the Popping of the Balloon

Since ancient times marrying couples in Taiwan have been required to perform an act of balloon popping as a way to guarantee fertility. These days standard party balloons are used for the ritual but before rubber was invented balloons were fashioned out of the intestines of small squirrels.

The ritual is simple: the balloon is placed between the couple and made to pop. This in normally a very easy task IF the groom is able to achieve a certain physical state and burst the balloon by way of poke.

Figure 1: Hustler (left), Corby (right)

and the balloon (middle). Some people were concerned

that the balloon did not pop straight away.

Flying fish and the way of the Yami tribe

The Yami tribe are considered one of the oldest of Taiwan's indigenous people. They live on an island called Lanyu or Orchid Island off the south coast of Taiwan and have preserved many of their ancient traditions, one of which is the yearly Flying Fish Festival.

Modern Taiwanese weddings have adopted certain aspects of the Yami's Flying Fish Festival because of the parallel that can be drawn with the role of the Yami warrior-fisherman within the family unit.

At the start of the fishing season the brave warrior-fisherman takes to the sea to catch flying fish. This is a very dangerous task, hence the need for armour, helmet and spear. Once they make it back to shore the blood of the flying fish is smeared over the boats as a symbolic gesture for something or other.

Therefore, the presence of flying fish in modern Taiwanese weddings reminds everyone about the role of the brave warrior-fisherman taking care of the family. Corby in this case -- I'm not quite sure that the role of Hustler should be.

The following video may seem like some prank played by the bride and groom's friends but it is a very significant and serious act. Yeah.

TESTREPORT: This blog is just about Melamine free!

2008-11-09T22:28:00.004+08:00

See?

I had the Ministry of Blog run a series of lab tests to ascertain the level of Melamine present on My Taiwan Times.

The results are good. The found only 2 ppms of Melamine amongst my blogs. This means that my posts are non toxic.

You can now lick the screen.

KOKO110 21353 (-13 pts), HQU 21358 (+2 pts), GGSK2 21349 (+4 pts))

2008-10-17T22:51:00.006+08:00

When my wife told me she was checking the PPT BBS via telnet I thought that she was checking the stock market.

Good girl, I thought, keeping an eye out on her portfolio. Lucky me that she knows all about this market madness.

Little did I know.

It appears that BBS stands for bulleting board, PPT is a popular one of 'em here in Taiwan and that she's not keeping track of stocks and shares but the latest CSI gossip.

Having said that, I'm very happy with how my bubblekiwi stock is performing and will never invest in any different ones.

Citi vultures

2008-10-09T21:20:00.008+08:00

I'm talking about Citi Bank credit card sales reps stalking shops, cinemas and train stations, as you can see in Figure 1 below.

Figure 1 - Preparing for the attack

One has to admire their tactics, though. Notice how their base is hidden away from the main source of potential clients, as they exit the station. The two reps position themselves in an attacking formation -- Vulture 1 about to spead its wings to try and catch as many punters as possible.

Figure 2 - Vulture 2 goes in for the kill

The victim portrayed in Figure 2 surived the attack, I'm happy to say. The special introductory offer of 0% interest for the first 6 months wasn't a powerful enough blow. Even the freebie pen and calculator were of no use.

Being a wài guó rén I don't get approached by Citi Bank vultures. If I were, though, rather than be annoyed at their persistance I would be a bit concerned about their jobs. Will they be OK as banks around the world collapse, melt and their credit crunches?

The current global economic climate makes Citi Bank's aggressive sales strategies look a tad odd.

My Taiwan Pics: Heavens below

2008-10-09T21:09:00.001+08:00

alt.taiwan.wedding.pics

2008-10-06T21:21:00.006+08:00

Last Saturday Zoe and I attended the rather awesome wedding of Minerva and Simfex. Congrats to you both!

We took aprox. 7,500 photos, half of which were actually not of food. Here is a somewhat alternative sample...

1. Everyone wants a piece of paparazzi

2. It rained balloons (and they are boob-shaped)

3. One day they will only do that if they're picking up NT$ 1,000 bills.

4. A lonesome boob-balloon a-floating

5. Pictures & friends behind curtains

6. Lottery numbers

7. There is always one...

Forget Obama and vote for me

2008-10-01T01:00:00.005+08:00

Taiwanderful.net is hosting its first blog awards. I've registered my own humble contribution and are hoping my readership help me gather a few votes.

To do so visit this page and, well, vote. Voting ends on 31/10/2008.

Here is a pretty graphic...

Of course I would vote for you any day, for any competition.

Thank you.

CSI Taichung: No tears for a dead cockroach

2008-09-26T20:58:00.020+08:00

Episode 1 - 0834 hours. A reddish, male cockroach about 3.2cm in length and aprox. 15 months of age is found dead on the pavement on the Jen Ho road.

Phtunnnfffshh.... vavoommohwam vavoommohwam... tweeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiingg tweilywea- tweilyweahaooooowww... vavoommohwam... tweiii tweiii tweiii weioweio tweilyweahaooooowww... blondebeigbeigbeig... bweilyweahaooooowww... chiiiinncheeen... Oooooo, ohleeee. Ooo-ooo. Ooo-ooo. Oooooo, ohleeee. Ooo-ooo. Ooo-ooo... Oooooo, ohleeee. Ooo-ooo. Ooo-ooo. Oooooo, ohleeee. Ooo-ooo. Ooo-ooo. etc...

Yeah, that's right. Click here if you don't believe me.

The Crime Scene... Investigated

The case is very suspicious. What was this insect doing on the Jen Ho road during a busy weekday morning? Shouldn't he have been hurrying along between wall cracks and occasionally grossing-out some woman (or man)?

No blood, no yucky yellowish insect innards. No signs of any struggle or violence. No weapon recovered either.

The scene provides only one clue: the body rests between two pavement tiles. Why didn't he die before it? Or after it? What is the significance of this line?

The Autopsy reveales little (apart from general cockroach ugliness)

Nothing unusual is recorded about the deceased during the examination. There is a leg missing but hey, 5 outta 6 ain't bad.

Its antennas are pointing left. Was he looking towards the road at the moment of death?

Skin and exo-skeleton are intact. This rules out death by stepping, the number 1 cause of death amongst male cockroaches of this particular demographic.

Suspect Number 1: Mr. Zhu

Mr. Zhu lives across the road and his hatred for cockroaches is public knowledge. In 2003 he founded the P.A.C.A.O.G.I. association (Pigs Against Cockroaches and Other Gross Insects).

A witness has come forwards and said that Mr. Zhu once told her - "I am a pig and therefore ugly and smelly the very nature of my being a pig. Ever heard for a clean pig? Exactly. But cockroaches are disgusting, slimy and putrid creatures. Can't make any bacon out of 'em - what use have they got? If I happened to come across one I might kill the mo-fo. Yeah."

However, Mr. Zhu's range of operations is limited by his 1,2 metre long leash. The dead cockroach was found across the road 17,6 metres away. His alibi is 16,4 metres long.

Suspect Number 2: Professor Plum

Investigations have led Taichung's CSI unit to believe that it might have been Professor Plum with a Candlestick in the Library.

But he has an alibi... CSI Taichung haven't go a cluedo.

(Editor's note: sorry about the poor joke. Won't happen again.)

Suspect Number 3: 388 the cat

388 is a serial cockroach killer.

Once a rogue kitten walking the streets at night and killing all sorts of creatures, he / she has now been rehabilitated and lives a violence-free existance with his / her new owner.

His / her story is tear-jerking. Desperate for a normal life 388 approached his / her new owner with a number of token gifts, including 3 dead cockroaches and a dead mouse. His / her owner appreciated his / her generosity and took him / her in, giving her an odd name in the process.

CSI Taichung can not rule out that 388 may have lapsed and is yet again a mean cockroach killing machine.

But 388's story belongs to another blog so we will rule out his / her involvement. Also, it's too much of a pain having to refer to someone without knowing his / her gender.

Case Unresolved

CSI Taichung need your expert advice to crack this case. If you can think of anything or spot something the team has missed please let us know by way of comment.

Learning writing Chinese characters the Derren Brown way

2008-09-23T20:52:00.009+08:00

There are two things that I find particularly frustrating as I attempt to learn reading and writing Chinese characters.

The Chinese Language school I am studying at have not suggested any particular method other than telling me to write them down many times. Surely some academic has come up with some strategy? How about 'em radicals? Should I be learning them first?
Ancient Chinese characters used to look like the words they represent! At some point in the fairly recent history (the WTF? point in the table below) they decided to re-arrange the character's bits and pieces and square off any angles. Now they look nothing like their meaning. Grrrrrr.

I'm not telling lies. Have a look for yourself...

The yú used to look like a yú and now looks more like a boat sailing along. The sun has become a window, the moon a dodgy ladder and the rain now looks like the the valvy-bit inside carburators that help control the flow of petrol into the engine.

Please help me, Derren

If you don't know who Derren Brown is please YouTube him up. He's a bit of an illusionist, hypnotist, magician and has a damn good memory too.

In the following clip he's memorised a whole dictionary in 20 minutes:

My idea is this. If someone can memorise a dictonary in 20 minutes then memorising some 3,000 chinese characters, their English meaning and pinyin equivalent shouldn't take much longer than that. Surely...

Please don't post a comment explaining how this is impossible. Just let me live with the notion that it is.

Taiwan - a typhoon magnet?

2008-09-13T20:49:00.008+08:00

A the beginning of August I blogged about a couple of Typhoons. I said...

One peculiar aspect of the typhoon's trajectory is that if it had kept a consistent line it would have missed the island altogether. Instead, at 'WTF?' point in the diagram below, it veered off the obvious course and went straight through the middle of Taiwan. Do typhoons usually pick on small nations like this?

History, or rather, climate, is repeating itself:

What is particulary interesting about Typhoon Sinlaku is that the original trajectory was aiming straight towards Taiwan but at point 1. it decided to turn away. Was it perhaps a change of heart?

No, Sinlaku was just playin' with us. It slowly turned back (point 2.) and approached our eastern shores at a slower pace - more time to dump bucket-loads of rain on us.

At point 3. the typhoon is thinking... just let me clip the northern tip of the island before I return to the ocean - fun, fun fun

The reason why Taiwan experiences so many Typhoons

China. They have these huge typhoon magnets positioned in such a way that small, harmless low pressure fronts hanging out in the Pacific ocean develop into angry typhoons, and are attracted to them - Taiwan being on its path.

Only this can explain the suspicious trajectories typhoons have.

Why are they doing this? Well, the food is nicer here for starters...

** IMPORTANT UPDATE ** 15 Sep '08

For those who have doubted my reasoning here is the evidence:

The path of the typhoon is not clear in Point 1 but what we experienced is what climatologists refer two as a 'double piroutte', like some ice skater doing a couple of 360 degree turns whilst gliding along. You have to ask yourselves what are the chances of that happening in proximity of the island's capital (soon after all the issues with the naming of Taiwan at the Olympics)?

Point 2 is very interesting too. The obvious question is... why didn't the typhoon carry on and hit China? Instead, it's now heading towards Japan.

The big magnet theory holds strong.

My daily dose of exercise

2008-09-12T18:33:00.009+08:00

There is a school nearby where anyone can go and use the outdoor sporting facilities (after a certain time in the afternoon, of course). I get there around 5pm and there is a mix of kids who have stayed on after school, people from the neighbourhood usually exercising lightly and those taking things more seriously. I like to think of myself as part of the latter sub-group but are no doubt categorized as 'the foreigner' by most.

My routine: running, playing basketball, running, playing basketball, running (or go home)

There is a proper track to run around so there is no risk of getting run over by a car or running over a pedestrain. Curiously, there are more people walking around than actually running, often lightly hitting themselves with ther hands on their sides. Something to do with circulation, the chi, or whatever.

I usually run for about 10 minutes each session. Not fast but not slow either. I prefer doing 3 x 10 minutes worth rather than a single half hour session because jogging remains tediously boring.

Which remainds me... I should bring my MP3 player along and listen to some pace-setting music. This would give me the time to try and 'get' some lyrics that have been bugging me lately:

"49 percent, 1 % short of half and less than half ain't really much of nothing" from 49 percent, by Royksopp

"Nothing at the top but a bucket and a mop and an illustrated book about birds" from Plateau, by Nirvana

Maybe I should get into classical music instead (and take naps rather than jog).

Basketball sucks

Or rather, I suck at it.

But I play to experience those rare perfect shots that swooshes through the ring and, just for a moment, I am (a midget version of) Kobe Bryant.

I've actually been called that by some kids I had a game with once. I kicked ass because of my unfair height advantage. If kids over 12 ask me to play I'm usually hen lei from jogging.

Anyway, this is me today. It rained a bit but the damp could have well been my own sweat.

Boing boing boing boing.

My Taiwan Pics: Outclassed

2008-09-05T21:33:00.002+08:00

My Taiwan Pics: Dedicated to the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency

2008-08-22T20:33:00.003+08:00

Unsafe? Maybe. Practical? Definitely.

In Depth Analysis #1: Taiwanese Traffic Patterns

2008-08-19T14:06:00.015+08:00

The principles governing the organisation and flow of urban traffic are based on simple orthogonomics, mechanical physics, a set of regulations and semantics.

In other words, keep to your lane and follow the rules.

In this analysis I will try to explain the difference between traffic and interesection crossing patterns in Taiwan compared to the rest of the world. I will refer to old-skool aracade games to present my ideas with clarity and added multimedia. I'll start with the latter:

High traffic scenarios & the Frogger dynamic

From the pedestrian's point of view such situations present a number of challenges. This is particularly true in cases when mono-directional traffic is fast-moving and the aformentioned pedestrian is forced to cross the road at a point lacking a zebra crossing (or any other pedestrian-safeguarding elements such as a pedestrian bridge). In this case we have what experts call the 'Frogger Dynamic':

To reach point B from point A the pedestrian must avoid mono-directional fast moving traffic. Please note that pedestrians are not necessarily frogs and vice-versa.

The Taiwanese alternative: the Asteroids dynamic

Over the decades Taiwanese drivers have lost their ability to follow the natural order of things. A left hand turn is not a left hand turn anymore but a quick cut across fast oncoming traffic. Scooter riders now take a 360 degree approach to going straight. A U-turn has become a W-turn.

Thus, pedestrians need to develop multi-directional spatial awareness to avoid vehicles.

The Asteroids model best explains traffic at Taiwanese intersections.

Exhibit A: Actual video footage of a Taiwanese intersection

Filmed either in Penghu Island or Hualien in 2005.

And yet, no road rage

I will conclude this analysis with 3 important points about Taiwan's trafficscape:

The very high frequency of near-collisions means that Taiwanese traffic is, in fact, one big near miss (just like ant colonies can be thought of as single, complex organisms^*1)
Drivers and pedestrians are chilled out and not bothered by point 1
Traffic is slower than places like Italy where everyone is a F1 driver

^*1An unverified thought.

Would you make a future?

2008-08-16T10:01:00.004+08:00

When whinging about the difficulty of learning Mandarin my Canadian classmate reminded me that learning English is probably harder for Chinese people. We use tones too, it seems.

He should know as he's taught English here in Taiwan. Our teacher is of the same opinion and even though her English is pretty good she still attends night classes.

But educational institutions advertising English language courses should take a little bit more care with their copy writing.

This sign appeared in the lift of the Language Centre where I study Mandarin.

Would you make a future?

Or rather:

Do you want to create your own future?
Do you want to make your own future?
Do you want to define your own future?

Although I shouldn't be the one correcting anyone else's English given my poor grammer and spelling.

I had a look at their website (http://dgdel.nchu.edu.tw) and it made absolutely no sense - it's in Chinese. The only English I came across is fine but possibly a bit pervy-sounding to the dyslexic.

My Taiwan Pics: Urban rice field (as property developers drool)

2008-08-08T17:28:00.001+08:00

A rice field in the middle of Taichung. Is it an art installation?

Losing my wisdom

2008-08-08T16:06:00.002+08:00

During the past couple of days one of my wisdom teeth has been hurting a bit and, following some precise tongue-probing, not feeling quite intact.

Had I been in the UK I would have had to call my dentist to book an appointment in a few days time. Here in Taiwan you just get up and go.

Let's go dentist shopping!

There is a dentist across the road where my wife and her family have been going for years, so need to shop around. But it's entirley possible to do so as they're set up like any other shop (road level, with a shop window, sign, etc...).

Once inside my wife and I sat down waiting for our turn. Over the counter and in full view of everyone the dentist does his work. The lack of privacy didn't particularly bother me but the sounds of the various instruments being used was a little disconcerting. Fortunately there were no cries of pain.

Quick and painless extraction

The procedure was over in 5 minutes, if that. I was a little bit nervous so it was good to have my wife nearby chearleading me on (her official role being that of transaltor). The dentist did his job as any dentist would have done anwhere in the world, no more no less.

He didn't tell me that I should floss my teeth more, but I put that down to the language barrier.

Do Taiwanese dentists drive Mercs?

The thought crossed my mind when I handed the $200NT for the procedure. That's a little over £3, the price of a pint of beer back in London. When I had my first wisdom tooth pulled out I paid £75. No doubt part of that money went towards the dentist's Mercs or BMW.

Why is it that having one's teeth take care of is so cheap here in Taiwan? Or rather, why is it so expensive back in the UK?

Keeping healthy shouldn't be a luxury.

My typhoon two-some with Kalmaegi & Fung Wong

2008-08-02T16:35:00.001+08:00

Thanks to Kalmaegi and Fung Wong I'm not a typhoon virgin anymore. It wasn't a pleasant experience, of course, but given my location -- Taichung -- not half as bad as other places in Taiwan.

Because of Taiwan's geomorphology (a new word for me too) Taichung tends not to get hit hard by typhoons. As they usually traverse the island from East to West the Central Mountain Range (see the map below) helps soften the blow, so to speak. Cities like Hualien and Taidong are not as lucky and end up battered. Taipei too is subject to much higher winds and rain than Taichung.

Whilst Fung Wong was relatively gentle to Taichung Kalmaegi did a lot of damage by way of rain. And by rain I mean lot of rain: over 500mm of it in the space of 24 hours. I have never seen so much rain in my life -- even my atheism was put to a test. I now know that the whole Noah's ark story is technically feasible.

Fung Wong path analysis

Fung Wong's 'eye' pretty much passed over Taichung. The moment the news reported it as 22km away from the city there was very little wind. It built up eventually as the typhoon headed towards china.

One peculiar aspect of the typhoon's trajectory is that if it had kept a consistent line it would have missed the island altogether. Instead, at 'WTF?' point in the diagram below, it veered off the obvious course and went straight through the middle of Taiwan. Do typhoons usually pick on small nations like this?

Diagram 1

The above diagram was downloaded (and vandalised) from the Central Weather Bureau website.

The not so impressive video evidence

I was reluctant to publish this video because it's not that impressive. Typical typhoon footage feature boats stuck on trees, uprooted timber framed dwellings and people walking along at 45% angles. Photos of our flooded garage are quite impressive, though. Noah would have been sympathetic, that's for sure.

Wǒ shì...

2008-07-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

The guy in the header is indeed me. I am wearing the same kind of attire thousands of Chinese guys throughout the Centuries have at their weddings. These days, it seems, they prefer western-style suits. I was happy to try something culturally different and far more interesting that what is essentially a work uniform.

My six month plan

About 7 months (and 15 kilos) ago I got married to my lovely Taiwanese wife. Since then I've been back to London to finish off my work contract and have returned to Taichung to start a course in Chinese Mandarin. I hope that by the time I finish in December I will be able to string together some basic sentences and make sense of the tonal madness.

I'm doing some freelance work too but I'll try not to talk too much about that.

And now for something completely different

I doubt that many people know much about Taiwan. It's a bit out of the way and has an ambigous status within the international community. Many will have noticed that their PC equipment is Made in Taiwan but they don't just have LCD factories here. Venture East or South and you'll come across lush green vegetation and very dramatic mountain ranges.

Taiwan is famous for earthquakes and typhoons too. One of the latter will be hitting us tomorrow, it seems. That will be the subject of my next post.

I'm the entity that is completely different, of course. I'm an Italian-Australian national (Italian-Hungarian blooded) who has lived half his life in Rome and the other half in the UK, so it's only natural that many things here stand out as unfathomable. But I should also admit that many things in Europe were starting to stand out as completely ridiculous - further inspiring my move eastwards.