My Thoughts and Notions

My Thoughts and Notions on love...

2012-01-29T04:11:00.000+08:00

People are constantly searching for answers to their question in regards to love. In real love, there are no questions. Does he care? Is she thinking about me? Am I his everything? These are all questions that do not, or actually should I say, should not pertain to love.

Begin to see situations for what they are, rather than formulating ideas on what it can be or what it should be. Yes, love is patient, but it is not something that you wait on and hope to get better with time. Do not spend your life waiting on someone to love you the way you want to be loved, and absolutely, don’t ever feel like you have to love and stay with someone merely for the material things they have presented to you. Love is greater than presents, but we tend to get caught up in buying gifts for people for the simple fact that it will make them adore us more. Most importantly, don’t allow your self to settle with someone because you think you owe them.

I will never forget the day I told someone, “I think I love you more.” And she replied back, “of course not…and how do you measure love?” Honestly that was one of the realest things someone has said to me. And it’s true. How do you measure love? You don’t measure love by comparing what you have done for each other. Love is a make up of obvious actions and the effort to do what you can to make someone feel happy the best way you know how.

Ladies especially, need to stop reading so deeply into things. If you really just take a glance, love is right there on the surface. Love is very much so tangible. It’s the way she stares at you and continues even when you catch her. It’s the anticipation when your about to see him after not talking or seeing him for awhile. It’s the feeling after an argument when he buys you sour wine gums instead of saying sorry. It’s continuing to love her regardless of her weaknesses, and wanting her to become stronger. It’s when she cooks you your favourite meal and it’s not your birthday. It’s how he talks about you proudly to his family and friends. And yes, how can I forget, it’s definitely in the kiss. You may not kiss often or like to kiss, but when the kiss arises, the spark is there.

Love is not a wonder, but a know. It’s confident and always assuring. Something like a breath of fresh of air. If you’re constantly second guessing and find yourself having to work too hard for some ones love, than its just not there. Just accept it and move on. The faster you do that, the easier it is to start over. We have to realize that some people come into our lives to stay while others just come for a season. Stop trying to hold onto something that’s not there. I’m sure many of us are guilty of that. Another thing, listen to the advice of others. They often see what you refuse to see in your relationship.

But hold on, dry your eyes, pick yourself up, and keep your head high. Love is real and I am certain everyone will experience it, if they allow themselves too. It’s such a beautiful thing, but it’s necessary to embrace it while it’s in front of you because you may only get one chance to truly live it.

-jC~

"Should I smile because she is my friend, or cry because that’s all she is?"

2012-01-29T04:01:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.– Neil Gaiman

"A paragraph that I read on a site, what the writer said was right. Being in love is a horrible thing. And what makes it more horrible is when you already know you are in pain but you just keep loving.

Unrequited love is when you love someone but they doesn’t love you back. It’s a common occurrence in relationships and friendships. Nonetheless, that knowledge doesn’t help the healing process."

Okay right, I got that from Wikipedia, Sue me!!

Actually, I am really suffering an unrequited love syndrome (ULS) I made up that one. I really do love this girl, however, she doesn’t love me back (That’s what I know). But she keeps talking to me and I keep talking to her and she knows that I am really in love with her but she just doesn’t care and what more is that she keeps babbling about this person that she keeps chatting with and obviously I am jealous. It is not that I am overreacting or what but the fact is, she knows that I love her so why keep bringing in this person. It is killing me! I know I may sound stupid but I can’t help. I know and she knows that I love her. NO KIDDING! but she acts and talks like she doesn’t know anything about what I feel towards her. And the persons that I asked for some advice said that I should get over her and forget her instead.

That’s the healthiest advice i got from them.

But seriously is it that easy to forget someone you really like for? It is easy for them to say it since they are not in my situation.

Engaging in an unrequited love is really so hard. You just keep loving this person even though she doesn’t love you. And most of all, you are already fine just talking to this one special person of yours, you are okay and fine that you can communicate and you can love her even if at a distance. Another stupid thing! But what can you do? You really love this person so no matter how hard you try to get away you are just keep being pulled towards her. Like being sucked up by a strong magnet or something.

Damn! seriously I really don’t know what to do now. And moreover, I sounded like I am a very stupid person. Like a dog that keeps following his master. But this is what I feel, my heart won’t stop loving her and I am crying for one special person whom I know will never be mine..

“You can‘t promise yourself that you‘re not going to fall in love with someone. I‘m not exactly a relationship expert, but I don‘t think it works that way”—Sarah Ockler

As much as you tried your best not to fall in love with her, you still did. Even if you keep on thinking about random and absurd things to keep you distracted, you still think of her. People are asking you if you love her, you deny the truth. It is just impossible not to be in love with her.

There must be some reason why I do those things and based on the quote, it’s simply because falling in love doesn’t work that way. I don’t even know how it actually should work. Actually, there’s nothing really awful about falling for her…I think. Other people might think otherwise due to obvious reasons. I mean, even if it’s wrong, what else can they do to stop me especially when I can’t even stop myself?

In one of the conversations i had earlier with my friends, we had a discussion about how everything about someone you love is beautiful. It’s true, though. My friends don’t have the same opinions because they don’t love her the way I do. Totally every single aspect of her, be it physical or not, is beautiful for me. All her reactions, gestures, and my god even the way she speaks is irrevocably striking. It’s bizarre how I observe the most subtle features about her. She doesn’t even need to put on the lightest make-up for her to look pretty. Her smile gets me all the time. She is ineffably beautiful.

Right now, i’m falling for her and there’s no stopping that. " =) "

Love and relationships require work and responsibility. We have to learn when to stretch and when to break.

2011-11-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

For those of you who have been blessed to find a romantic love that is equally shared, I truly admire this and I have set the intention to find it one day. I think it all starts with being aware, open, and ready.

For a long time I didn’t believe I would find love so I subconsciously chose partners who I knew would be a challenge. I am no longer interested in this challenge. I told myself when my last relationship failed that I would never put myself in a situation where I didn’t know where I stood in someone’s life again; where I felt unsteady and unloved.

Unfortunately I did it again this year and I can promise you that it was the last time. I now know what I would like my relationship with my future partner to feel like, and that is the first step towards being open to receiving this gift. Love is a gift.

I have been tested often this year and with this came the opportunity to learn lessons. I have lived my life openly. I have experienced love and trusted the process. I fell in love, watched it grow, watched it change, and watched it fall apart.

I felt the pain, and still continue to recover from it. My heart is healing and that is a slow process, but it was necessary to hurt to have learned what I learned. For this I am grateful. I’m also grateful to my friends and family who helped me to pick up the pieces when I didn’t have the energy to do it alone.

8 things I have learned about relationships so far:

1. If there is a feeling better than love, I have not felt it. Take the risk and dive in with everything you have.

2. Enjoy the good times together as they are happening and be grateful for them.

3. Stay out of the future and in the moment. Now is certain.

4. Protect both your heart and your partner’s, whether the love is still there or not. We are human and we deserve kindness. We don’t need to add to the burdens we already carry by hurting others. Trust me, it doesn’t make thing better.

5. If your relationship starts to crumble, know when to put it down and let it be. Don’t grind it into dust.

6. You cannot continue to give to another person when you are not at your best; when you are so broken, so beaten down that you have no energy left. When talking has failed and words no longer have meaning, this is when you know it is over. When you feel like this, you have to do what is best for the relationship and for each other and wave the white flag to avoid further damage.

7. Some things just won’t work, no matter how badly we wish they would. Sometimes the match that felt so right just isn’t. Please don’t do more damage to your heart by trying to fix something that has past its expiration date. It will leave you raw.

8. It is okay to walk away from something that hurts you. It doesn’t require blame or justification. It just requires you to stop fanning the flames. You will find love again, and next time it will feel better.

Life isn’t easy. Some things build us up and some tear us down. Our hearts expand and break and rebuild—repeatedly. We are constantly learning and changing and growing. If in love you find yourself in a sticky situation like I was, please stop picking at scabs.

Nothing good has ever come from this. Stop the cycle, and let your heart heal so you can find pure love. Surround yourself with loving relationships. Something beautiful is out there waiting for you. If you feel it on the inside, you’ll find it out there.

*_*

-jC

Hard Work?

2011-07-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

Ahemm...

Success literature going back hundreds of years espouses the benefits of hard work. But why is it that some people seem to feel that “hard work” is a dirty word nowadays?

I define “hard work” as work that is challenging. Both hard work and “working hard” (i.e. putting in the time required to get the job done) are required for success.

A problem occurs when people think of challenging work as painful or uncomfortable. Does challenging work necessarily have to be painful? No, of course not. In fact, a major key to success is to learn to enjoy challenging work AND to enjoy working hard at it.

Why challenging work? Because challenging work, when intelligently chosen, pays off. It’s the work that people of lesser character will avoid. And if you infer that I’m saying people who avoid challenging work have a character flaw, you’re right… and a serious one at that. If you avoid challenging work, you avoid doing what it takes to succeed. To keep your muscles strong or your mind sharp, you need to challenge them. To do only what’s easy will lead to physical and mental flabbiness and very mediocre results, followed by a great deal of time and effort spent justifying why such flabbiness is OK, instead of stepping up and taking on some real challenges.

Tackling challenges builds character, just as lifting weights builds muscle. To avoid challenge is to abandon one’s character development.

Now it’s natural that we’ll tend to avoid what’s painful, so if we see challenge as purely painful, we’ll surely avoid it. But in so doing, we’re avoiding some very important character development, which by its very nature is often tremendously challenging. So we must learn to fall in love with challenge instead of fearing it, just as a bodybuilder can learn to love the pain of doing “one more rep” that tears down muscle fibers, allowing them to grow stronger. If you avoid the pain, you miss out on the growth. This is true both for building muscles and for building character.

While a common philosophy says to go with the flow, the downside to this belief system is that you must yield control of your life to that flow. And that’s fine if you don’t mind living passively and letting life happen to you. If you feel you’re here to ride your life instead of drive it, then you’ll have to accept where the flow takes you and learn to like it. But sometimes the flow doesn’t go in a healthy direction. You can go with the flow and end up in a pretty screwed up situation if you don’t assume more direct control when needed.

On the other hand, there’s the alternative way of looking at life with you as the driving force behind it. You create and control the flow yourself. This is a more challenging way to live but also a much more rewarding one. You aren’t limited to those experiences that can only be gotten passively or painlessly — now you can have much more of what you want by being willing to accept and take on bigger challenges.

If I only went with the perceived easy flow of my life, I’d never have learned to read, write, or type; those were all challenges where I felt I was going against the flow of what was easy and natural. I wouldn’t have gotten any college degrees. I wouldn’t have started my own business. I certainly wouldn’t have developed any software. No way I would have run a marathon — one doesn’t exactly flow into such a thing. And I most certainly wouldn’t be doing any public speaking. This web site wouldn’t exist either; it was definitely an entity created more by drive than by flow.

I do believe there is an underlying flow to life at times, but I see myself as a co-creator in that flow. I can ride the flow when it’s headed where I want to go, or I can get off and blaze my own trail when necessary.

When you step up and learn to see yourself as the driver of your life instead of the passive victim of it, then it becomes a lot easier to take on big challenges and to endure the hardships they sometimes require. You learn to associate more pleasure to the character development you gain than the minor discomforts you experience. You become accustomed to spending more time outside your comfort zone. Hard work is something you look forward to because you know that it will lead to tremendous growth. And you eventually develop the maturity and responsibility to understand that certain goals will never just flow into your life; they’ll only happen if you act as the driving force to bring them to fruition.

When faced with the prospect of saying to yourself, “If I always avoid hard work, I’ll never in my life get to experience X, Y, or Z,” it’s a little easier to embrace the benefits of hard work. What will you miss out on? You’ll probably never run a marathon, marry the mate of your dreams, become a multi-millionaire, make a real difference in the world, etc. You’ll have to settle for only what going with the flow can provide, which is mediocrity. You’ll basically just take up space and die without really having mattered. The world will be pretty much the same had you never existed (chaos theory notwithstanding).

If you want to achieve some really big and interesting goals, you have to learn to fall in love with hard work. Hard work makes the difference. It’s what separates the children from the mature adults. You can keep living as a child and desperately hoping that life will always be easy, but then you’ll be stuck in a child-like world, working on other people’s goals instead of your own, waiting for opportunities to come to you instead of creating your own, and doing work that in the grand scheme of this world just isn’t important.

When you learn to embrace hard work instead of running from it, you gain the ability to execute on your big goals, no matter what it takes to achieve them. You blast through obstacles that stop others who have less resolve. But what is it that gets you to this point? What gets you to embrace hard work?

Purpose.

When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity. If your life has no real purpose, then you can avoid hard work, and it won’t matter because you’ve decided that your life itself doesn’t matter anyway. So who cares if you work hard or take the easy road? But if you’ve chosen a significant purpose for your life, it’s going to require hard work to get there — any meaningful purpose will require hard work. You have to admit to yourself then that the only way this purpose is going to be fulfilled is if you embrace hard work. And this is what takes you beyond fear and ego, beyond the sniveling little child who thinks that hard work is something to run away from. When you become driven by a purpose greater than yourself, you embrace hard work out of necessity. That child gets replaced by a mature adult who assumes responsibility for getting the job done, knowing that without total commitment and lots of hard work, it’s never going to happen.

Desire melts adversity.

Show me a person who avoids hard work, and I’ll show you someone who hasn’t found their purpose yet. Because anyone who knows their purpose will embrace hard work. They’ll pay the price willingly.

If you don’t know your purpose yet, then in the world of mature human beings, you don’t yet matter. You’re just a piece of flotsam on the flow created by those who do live on purpose. And deep down you already know this, don’t you? If you want to make a difference in the world, then hard work is the price. There are no shortcuts.

Purpose and hard work are buddies. Purpose is the why. Hard work is the how. Purpose is what turns labor into labor of love. It transmutes the pain of hard work into the higher level pleasure of dedication, commitment, resolve, and passion. It turns pain into strength, eventually to the point where you don’t notice the pain as much as you enjoy the strength.

Once again it all comes down to purpose. Create a purpose for your life, and live it each day. And many of the other success habits like hard work and working hard will fall into place automatically. Figure out the why. Why are you here? Why does your life matter? That is the ultimate test of your free will.

-jC-

True Love

2010-12-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

True love comes straight from the heart not the mind. It starts with a simple meeting with two people, from the first conversation comes the mutual respect. Soon, without realizing it, there’s a feeling of likeness in the air. From likeness, it gradually grows to love. But true love does not end here. From love, there’s commitment. The feeling stop you from starting any other possible cases of likeness with other people. The same feeling which get you back to the same person whom you have been sharing your life with.

Many people never went to the stage of commitment, only to blame themselves later for never experiencing true love. If loving is easy, living your hectic life would be easier.Stories of love are being shared among us everyday, yet there aren’t many of which we can remember. A love story comes from your own experience, not something that you’ve heard or seen. If there is one love story that you can ever remember in your life, it would be something that you had gone through..

True love is a gift. Though finding it may be hard, keeping it is harder than anyone can imagine. We struggle through all our life in search of it, yet when we find it, it just disappear. Just like sand sipping your hands, never to return again. True love means happiness for your partner even if it means sufferings for you. As much as we would want to deny it, we do sacrifice for love. A simple give in during a heated argument can prevent harsh words being used and breaking of hearts. So next time when you think your partner is unreasonable, think again. You could make he/she less annoyed by giving in just this once. You may give in many, many times in your relationship but at least you know its worth the effort when the storm is over.

True love will be tested one day, only then the declaration for one another is truthful. Temptations will always be there, there will always be someone nicer, younger or more beautiful than your current one. Only will that day tell your truthfulness towards your heart and your soul.

The pureness of True Love is one thing that keeps people going, throughout their life. The simplest things that you do for her will get happiness in return. One sad thing about the pureness of True Love is the existence of temptation. Whether is it materialism or lust, people always find themselves stuck in a situation and therefore love died down in time…

As far as I can see, we all yearn for that simple undying love that rumors to exist. Its out there somewhere, clouded by the deceiving facts of life and overshadowed by the logical mindset of humans.
True Love exists deep down our hearts…

-jC-

11:43AM

12-19-2010

Well, Which and Why?

2010-12-16T07:49:00.000+08:00

One walks the earth alone, aware of the loneliness.
Cherishing it at times, mourning it at others.
Searching for answers until resolving futility.
Then this one meets someone and the loneliness is gone.

Another walks the earth, believing they are whole.
Free and strong, yet completely insatiable.
Searching for an answer they believe does not exist.
Then this one meets someone and they realize how lonely they have been.

Would you rather endure a life of loneliness that could only be remedied by one person…?
Or meet one person that made you realize how lonely your life had been until then?

Does this mean that one person resents their life when they were alone?
Does this mean that the other person resents meeting the one causing this realization?

Can this be targeted in different ways?

Consider the first scenario. Perhaps this person believes that they have a soul mate, and they intrinsically assign one person to be their counterpart.
Once they meet this person the search is over. Is this a positive gain? Or is this person motivated by their loneliness in their walk of life? When they meet someone are they going to rest easy that the search is complete, or long for the thrill of the hunt? And if it is the hunt the person wants, will they resent the person that pulled them off course? Or will they resent themself for making an inadequate catch?

In the second scenario, the person may also believe in the idea of a soul mate, but they aren’t counting on someone to take away their loneliness. More likely, they believe a person can complement them in a variety of important ways. Now when they meet people, they are evaluated for their qualities and determined to be an acceptable mate or not. If they meet a person that destroys this principle by which they have lived their life, will they take it out on this person and immediately be faced with a task of recovering from years of loneliness? Or will they, too, place the blame inwardly?

In one circumstance it almost holds a poetic, standard beauty. A man lives, is lonely, discovers the cure for this loneliness and is changed. His life now takes on other goals.

In the other, it appears to be a more of a cruel twist of life. A man lives, searches for the wrong company all the while, and discovers that this one person will impose all of these reflections that diminish the past.

It’s a matter of perspective in either case. Is it so bad to realize that your life is complete or on a path that is so much brighter than it was before?

Good things come to those who wait?
Ignorance is bliss?

The question you have to ask yourself is, will you miss the loneliness when it’s gone?

Love Music

2010-12-15T07:47:00.002+08:00

Some believe, as I never used to, that soul-mates do exist. That there is one person in all the world that can bring about ultimate fulfillment, boundless love, and perfect completeness in your life. That such things are written for us in the very stars, through the Fates, or merely in our very biology. That if you never find that one, you will never be completely happy. But when you do find that one, you know it through and through, to the tiniest microbe of your being. I had never believed in this. I always thought music was my soul-mate, for want of a better word. Music has always inspired me, lived within me, flowed through me beat for beat with my very heart. Music has been the background of all my life's moments, both in joy and in sadness, in love and in loss, in companionship or in my loneliest hours. Music has always been there, and I have adored it with a passion I never felt for anything, nor anyone else.

I, like most people I am sure, can name the tune that played, either in their mind, or around them, through all of their biggest love life moments. The first kiss. The first experience of lovemaking. The first great heartbreak. However, music has been so a part of me that I can recall the music that played around me, or in me, at most of my smaller moments as well. The first cup of coffee I ever drank. The first day of a new job. The first song I ever put on a cell phone. Yes, it may seem strange to most of you, but I am that musically inclined. It has to do with my parents, I am sure, and the first time they took me out as a baby. I was six months old, or so they tell me, and they sat me on a speaker stack, in my bassinet during a garage jam session. With the lead guitarist, a friend of theirs, checking on me during songs, and they checking on me during song breaks, they were shocked to find I slept the whole way through, a tiny little smile on my baby face. Is it any wonder that music has been my one true love?

That is, of course, until now. So cynical was I that another person could make me feel what music has always made me feel, that to find a woman who makes me feel likewise, and more, was quite the shock. And I have found her, she whose voice fills my mind before music does now. She whose laugh is the greatest melody I have ever heard. She who makes me feel more alive than music ever did.

I shall always love music. It is my first love. But I have found the greatest gift a man could ever receive. The ability, and the joy, of being able to keep my first love, and my last love, in my heart together forever.

Better still, jealousy is never an issue, for she loves my first love almost as much as I do.

Until next time, my loving friends. Keep the music of love, and the love of music, in your hearts and souls.

This is the way I relate to a lot of things around me.

2010-12-14T07:48:00.000+08:00

The world’s a stage…

We have different roles to play. We are a different self with different people, depending on our relationships and the different roles we are bound to play.

Almost all relationships share the same evolution. Be it parent and child, man and wife, employer/ company and employee, client and agency, brand and consumers, corporate and media, man and environment, etc. The way we relate to people and things, we love->passion->learn->dream->startled->complain->struggle->bored->try to reignite->bored by the comfort->try again->frustrated->indifferent->and onto something new.

We experience these kind of journeys day in day out. Human beings are one of the most interesting species on earth, we try to improve and it’s extremely difficult for us to stick around. We move furniture every now and then, we change jobs, we look for a new camera and mobile phone every 3 months, we search for the meaning of life and look for the ideal life partner all at the same time. These journeys are unavoidable unless you decided you don’t want to be human.

All we can do to stay happy and passionate, is to know where we are heading before we run and search. Try to stay “sober” during the passionate stage, don’t get carried away while you indulge in it. The new is always exotic and good; the old is always frustrating in one way or the other.

Just be honest with yourself while you play your roles, no great expectations, no delusions, plenty of communications, understanding, no guilt, no regret, and don’t think the society/ parents/ employers/ partners/ client/ agency/ the environment owe you in any way. They didn’t try to deceive you, and you don’t need to deceive them. Please don’t think you have to stick around because of guilt.

The world’s a stage, our life is a stage consists of all the roles we play. It’s up to us to perform a great play or a crappy one. Don’t try to be a Shakespeare in your own or other’s life, just follow your heart and play by ears. Be passionate, as responsible as we could be and try to create the same cycle of evolution with the same things, that’s called growth. Move on if we have to, be honest with yourself and don’t look back, without guilt.

Loving yourself

2010-11-29T16:02:00.001+08:00

If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself. – Barbara De-Angelis

As humans we have this innate ability to adapt and to be flexible. We are also very competitive and because we have this desire to thrive and be successful, we often place too much on ourselves to accomplish that ultimate goal. We live in a society where either you live up to societal standards of success or you are considered as nothing. We live in a society where every aspect of our life is dictated to us, and in order to be a functioning member of society we believe that we must adapt fully or risk being an outcast.

I have come to realize that one of the hardest things in life is learning balance…learning how to push oneself without putting too much pressure on oneself. I have learned the importance of finding myself while living in the midst of chaos…everyone dictating to me what I should be or what they think of me. Yet despite it all, I have come to terms with loving myself….

I have learned that as much as it hurts to fail or to make mistakes, that those failures and mistakes have created in me a stronger person; a person that is not only committed to success, but is also committed is seeing others around her succeed. Too often, we allow trials, hurt, and past betrayals to allow us to give up on life. And when I say give up, I don’t just mean suicide either. We create walls and barriers. We shut people out. We make others, good people, pay for the horrible actions of those from our past, all for the sake of….of…protecting what pride and love we have left.

But if we allow those events from our past to dictate the extent to which we love ourselves, and how we ultimately love others, what does that say about us? If we allow ourselves to be so burdened and taken by the things of this world, then what good are we? We must use our capability to adapt and be flexible to create a better person. We must always seek to be better people, and most importantly we must always seek to find ways to love ourselves despite our imperfections; for it is our imperfections which bring out the best in us. They allow us to find our weaknesses, so that we can make ourselves stronger. Our imperfections enable us to see the good in others, realizing that we also have issues and that no one is exempt from having their moment of anger or indifference.

This quote especially touches my heart because it helped me to realize that although I am not perfect, I am still strong enough and good enough to love myself. And that love that I have for myself has helped me to open up my heart to people that I don’t even know. Isn’t that what being a Christian is about? Weren’t we put on earth to be our “brother’s keeper;” to help them when they’re down and to give a word of encouragement to the person we may be at odds with. We all have social obligations to love and care for our brother, but we must first learn to fully and whole heartedly love ourselves.

With that being said, have a wonderful Monday and a very blessed weekened...

Ironic

2010-06-06T18:58:00.000+08:00

When is it easier to forgive?

Is it when the person who wrongs you recognizes the wrong done?

Is it when the person who causes you pain actually asks for forgiveness?

I believe the saddest thing that could ever happen is when the person who wrongs you fails to recognize the wrong done…

and leaves you to wonder why? and call it Christian?

and if it is not enough injury, the person adds insult to the other by pretending to own the pain. or at the very least pretend to share the pain. Ironic. no I call that Mockery.

That is twice the pain you have to handle and face.

Every single day you try…try to forgive, try to understand, or even try to fit the betrayer’s shoes.

but you struggle between anger and calm

between indifference and compassion

between holding on and letting go of the pain caused by rejections

between bouts of crying and more crying

between denial and acceptance…

that what you hold very dearly is gone…just like that

you tried to reach out anyway, but every time you do…

you are met with derision…in silence

as if telling you that nothing you do or do not do matters anymore.

many times that small voice in you tells you to meet with your pain in silence

but just this once silence speaks of that pain…that ugly mocking pain called betrayal.

and you know what is ironic?

you love the betrayer anyway…

which reminds me of the last stanza of the poem ‘I miss you’

The stanza goes…

“I like the part when. Where.

I am happy. Things happen so fast.

The clouds are swell. I have to go

Before it rains.”

Whats with this word they call L-O-V-E?

2009-11-19T10:25:00.000+08:00

Love seems to be very pure, soft, honest, sincere, and whatever seems to lead to happiness. However, do you really believe that true love really exists? Or, at least, do you believe that there are still many true love happenings in the world? I myself can still count them with ten fingers. Love nowadays happens more because of money, physical appearance, authority, and all that should not have to be the main requirements for getting in love.

Money, money, and money! Nobody can live without it. Well, at one side that's very true since we buy everything with money. On the other hand, when we talk about love, do you think that money can buy love? If it can, I won't guarantee that it's really love. Nowadays, more and more people, no matter women and even men, get in love with somebody just because he or she is rich. I don't say that no money can build a good relationship. However, do you really think that much money can surely bring all the happiness in the world to you? In fact, there are many rich people who smile outside and cry inside while not many people can see it clearly. And some laugh and get happy above others' sufferings, taking someone else's lovers just to get more money for themselves. Is this what we call true love?

Beauty, good looking face, cuteness, sexiness seem to be very lovely to look at. Some guys may say, "Wow, she's hot?" and some girls will say, "Hi handsome", which sometimes including me of course. However, is this the major importance when someone is trying to look for their true love? Do you actually ever realize that often, prince charming and pretty girls do not really have charming and beautiful character too like their face? I have seen this myself. Handsome face and pretty look do not always have the same pluses in personalities, that they have in their physical appearance. When you decide to build your real love but you just look at this point, mostly you can get is no more than sufferings if you haven't dug deeper into their personalities and behaviors.

Authority for power and relief sound absolute and true at some points. "Well, he is the boss, what can I say?" Or, "as minister, he will guarantee all my life" are typical sentences I have now often heard lately. It's true that authority can conquer most aspects in life such as at work, war, government, etc; but is it also conquering in finding love? There is no real love and continuous happiness but fear and threat if it is developed in authority and power. Love, in real, should be sincere, understanding, and caring. Most people now will fall for people who seem to have power and authority since they expect "full protection" for their future. But I don't think this will always continue to be happily ever after like in Cinderella story and most fairy tales. It's time to wake up guys.

What I mean to say is not that all of these are unimportant. However, does love really have to be judged mainly based on these? If we do, it's true as the Black Eyed Peas sing, "Where is the love?" If we do, are you sure that true love still exists now in this world?

Coming Back to Reality: Peeling the scars to bleed again

2009-11-16T16:05:00.013+08:00

Coming Back to Reality: Peeling the scars to bleed again

The original plan for this blog is to limit its content to online world only. But I guess making a separate blog for my real life is too tedious to maintain so I’ll just make a sub-category.

J _ _ __ and I broke up last February 19, 2007. A day where even my heartbeat stopped beating for a while. It hurts a lot really, though she told me I doesn’t show in my face nor feelings. Indirectly she thinks I’m unfair, deciding to split up without consulting her. For once I want to do something right. I know it hurts a lot but in time I hope and pray she’ll understand.

She texted me the time she got home from her retreat. She shared her stories on how she cried and how she was touched on what happened there. That there is this activity that there is a candle in the middle and you should cast your pains to it things like that. All went well until she ended her story with “Ipapasa-Diyos ko na lang yung ginawa mo sakin.”

Woah. Actually I double checked her message. Huh? Am I a murderer or something? She said that “Well, you dumped me after all we’ve been through.”

I think a tear fell to my cheek. Actually I want to cry harder but I can’t since someone is sleeping near to me. I’m such a weakling and is easily affected. I dunno, I’m still not acclimatized with her attitude even to this point we’re already apart.

I know I’ve given her unbearable pain for a moment. I know she thinks that’s she’s the only one whose hurt. But have she thought how my heart bled alive while making such decision? Have she thought that before she got hurt I got hurt twice as much as her? I dunno. I dunno why I’m still thinking like this.

After all that we’ve been through. Yeah. I remember I almost lost a very close friend because I love her. I remember those nights I prayed about her, and how I hoped to spend my life with her. The pain is still there. And it is still fresh as the moment I decided to break up with her.

I know I’ve hurt her that much. I just hope she’ll forgive me. I just hope she’ll be happy in her life without me as a part of it. I just hope that God bless and guide her in her way.

Love

2009-11-15T16:12:00.000+08:00

What is the one emotion that has everyone mystified? What is the one emotion that has started as many wars as it has ended? What emotion has had more plays, songs, and stories written about it than anything else? Love, that one emotion that makes enemies into friends and friends into enemies. So many legends surround this emotion, from the goddess Athena and Helen of Troy to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Love comes in so many different levels, that it doesn’t appear to be the same emotion at all, but it is. There is so much to love, that it will be hard to put into this simple essay. It can tear people apart and make us do irrational things to bringing together entire nations. What can this emotion not do? It’s hard to tell, but there is a lot it can. This emotion, bring tears to our eyes when something happens to our family members, friends, and pets. When we feel love ripped from us, as in death or being spurned by another, we do things we wouldn’t normally do, such as go on violent rampages, or mourn to the extent that our loved ones have to watch us constantly to make sure we don’t try anything like suicide. Some can move on, always remembering the lost loved one after a while, but others can not let go. These are the ones that need our love and support the most. There are so many levels to love, that I can only express a few of them here. These are the ones we see most in life. Friendship starts this list off. Yes, it doesn’t seem like it, but we do feel love towards our friends, this is what helps us get along so well, and why we miss them when we don’t see our friends for a long time. It’s also why we hold certain friends over others no matter what happens. Sometimes, the bond between friends deepens to the point where a stronger bond of love is made, making them family. Another level of love, are for our siblings and other family members. Even though we do things to our family members, and sometimes we don’t like some of our family, that bond is still there. It’s this family bond level of love that brought about the phrase, blood is thicker than water. We will do things for our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and children before we would even consider doing them for anyone else. Many wars have been started because of this family level, brother avenging brother or father, father protecting his wife and children, or even vice versa. This simple family bond can even extend to include our pets, amazingly enough, and that is a good thing. A third level to love, is the bond that brings man and woman together. This level is among the strongest of them all. It is this level of love that has brought together kingdoms into nations in the past, and ended many great wars. It’s is also for the love of a woman that has started a few of our well-known wars, like the Trojan Wars of ancient times. It’s brought together families that have argued for years and years, such as in the Shakespearean play, Romeo and Juliet. Even though the two mentioned killed themselves in the end, it still brought their families together. The last mentionable level of love is that bond between a mother and her children. There is no stronger, nor will there ever be. This bond starts from the very first tiny fluttering of movement and never ends, even after death of the child. A mother protects her children in the name of love, and directs them through life using it as the example to follow. Well, at least it should be. It’s because of her children a mother will work at a job she hates, just to make sure they have everything they could ever want or need. The phrase, love makes the world go round is very true. It’s is our driving force, for what ever reason it may be. Poems, plays, and legends can only briefly touch the true meaning of love. We can only feel what that meaning is, and express it in ways only we can understand towards another. The true question we should be asking is not, what is life, but what is love. What is love? I don’t know, but I’ll do what I can to express it to my son, my husband, my family and friends, and to every single pet I have or ever will own in the best possible way that I can.

My Thoughts and Notions

2009-11-14T15:42:00.001+08:00

Deep within each one of us lies a flame that ignites the human spirit. A flame that drives us to action. A flame that fuels us to reach higher than the skies. A flame that moves us to achieve our goals whatever they maybe. It is the fire burning in each of us that grants us to be more than what we are. The one that allows us to transcend beyond our limitations…

This fire inspires us to do something, to be someone, to aim high, to achieve our goals, to realize our dreams…Let the flames that ignite consumes you. Keep the fire Burning!
*****
To write is a lot of things. It is to have a topic and an angle. It is to be equipped with the necessary data that will substantiate the story.It is to weave words into and effective piece that will methodically present facts and analyses. More importantly, it is to know what one is writing about. To write is to choose. Writing isn’t a matter of mere theorizing. It is to experience the basis of this theories. One cannot just research and talk about love. One has to experience love and it’s genuine state. Perhap’s, after experiencing love through relationships, I can finally be able to write about love based on actual, acquainted facts. Now, every time i write about love, I write not in the academic perspective alone. Perhap’s, i can write what i feel….