My Top Five Picks

Top Five Phone Auto Correct Fails

2011-08-07T13:55:00.000-04:00

5.Bullshit, I'm callin the police.

4. Someone call social services please?

3. I should start reading the Bible more often!

2.Autocorrect vs. Beastiality

1. Auto correct Reveals True Colors

Top Five Best Butts in Hollywood

2011-06-10T12:19:00.001-04:00

You're gonna love this one!

5. Shakira

4. Fergie

3. Jennifer Lopez

2. Kim Kardashian

1. Beyonce

Top Five Ways to Pick Up Chicks

2011-05-19T23:32:00.000-04:00

Oh boy. You guys we're totally waiting for this one! Woohoo!

First of all, make sure you have a girl in mind. These techniques won't work on a random chick you meet at the bar.

5. Give her a nickname.
Girls love nicknames. I have no clue why. They just do. Give them a pet name or just alter their name. For example, call a girl you're interested in "Porcupine" or if her name is Monique, call her "Mo." This causes the girl to have a deeper friendship with you, and she will start to be a lot more comfortable with you.

4. Be Yourself... NOT!
Yes, I know you've heard this one before. "Just be yourself and you will get any girl you want." Being yourself works... to an extent. Be yourself, but with a girl. Always remember, although she may laugh at your disgusting, sick, perverted, obnoxious, immature jokes, she's actually pitying you on the inside. Treat her like a lady, while being yourself. Just act the same way you do with your homies, but cut the immature crap.

3. Teasing = Flirting
For some reason, the human race has evolved into a species in which females become charmed when a male makes fun of her. Don't ask me why. I have no idea. But don't go overboard. Don't start calling her a "two-faced ugly ass chimpanzee." That's a little bit too far. Try calling her a "one-faced ugly ass chimpanzee," and you guys will be making out in no time!

2. Nice Guys Finish Last. Bad Guys Never Start the Race.
I'm sorry to say this, but it's true. Nice guys are usually not attractive. Some women love nice guys, but most of them want a bad boy. Someone who can live on the edge. Someone who isn't afraid to walk out of an explosion, without looking back. But there's a limit. Don't be a complete douche bag. That's unattractive to all women. It sounds hard, but try to balance between a nice guy and a Bad Ass Chuck Norris Guy.

1. Be Funny
Girls love funny guys. They love to have a good time and be with someone fun. If you're not funny, mimic your funny friends. If you don't have any funny friends... or any friends (you probably don't if you're getting advice from a blog), then go watch some movies and mimic their funny actions. Funny guys always finish first.

I hope you guys could see the sarcasm in #3. It was a joke. Good luck with the ladies!

Top Five Ways to Make Your Blogger More Popular

2011-05-17T22:10:00.001-04:00

5. Follow a Theme

You're blogger should focus on one theme. For example, my blog is a "Top Five" blog. Therefore, every post I make will usually be about a "Top Five." If you're blog is a personal blog, then keep talking about your life. Don't start blogging about your boss Jim's trip to an African village. Keep your topics relevant with each other.

4. Comment on other Bloggers

This is key. You HAVE to comment on other blogs to get them to follow you. More than likely, when you comment on someone's blog, they will end up clicking your profile to check what your blog is about. Then they might or might not follow your blog. They more comments you make, the more followers you get, and the more views your blogs will receive!

3. Pictures!

Don't make your blog just words! Pictures are essential! Videos are also encouraged. When a new visitor visits your blog for the first time, you don't want them to be bored out of their minds! Make sure you keep them entertained with some type of media.

2. Keep the advertisements and gadgets to a minimum.

Yes I know gadgets are super cool. Uh huh, I know that advertisements make you money. The thing is, viewers to your blog will get annoyed really fast if your blog is full of these things. Try not to fill your blog with these because the internet has a short attention span. Once they get annoyed or angry, your audience can be gone in a split second!

1. Include your link... EVERYWHERE!

This is the best way to attract viewers to your blog. Include your link on all of your forum post, e-mails, signatures, and anything else. If you're really brave, post your link on your Facebook for all your friends to see. Trust me, it will generate a lot more visitors.

Good luck with your blogging!

Top Five Hottest Female Singers

2011-05-15T17:30:00.000-04:00

5. Jessie J
Although she can "Do It Like a Dude", Jessie J's beauty is feminine nonetheless. This British pop star has rocked the charts with hits such as Do It Like a Dude and Price Tag, and we expect nothing less from her during the last half of 2011.

4. Carrie Underwood
Don't get to happy boys. She got married last year so this babe is off the market. Carrie Underwood rose to fame during the fourth season of American Idol, and she has been one of the most successful ones to come from the dying show. Remember Carrie, when you're done with your man, hmu.

3. Beyonce
Almost thirty years old and she's still looking like a queen! This iconic goddess rose to fame with Destiny's Child and has found her own way since. As one of the highest paid female artist in the industry, Beyonce has done a lot in the past decade.

2. Katy Perry
If I could kiss this girl, I would definitely like it! Katy Perry was rocking the charts with her album Teenage Dream after its release, and she has been on tour giving her fans great music.You go, girl!

1. Rihanna
'Nuff said. Just kidding. Her beautiful body, voice, and accent makes her the number one hottest female singers in my opinion. But it was a close one between all five on the list, so don't attack me!