Unfortunately, the man on my mind at night as crazy as it may sound, Eduardo, the Mexican from long ago, now living in Paris. I haven’t spoken (much less seen) him in well over 2 years. How can he be on my mind? But he is. I google’d about and he was on some fashion website with picture of various items he liked (could he get any more gay??) and there was a photo of him using a Hermes scarf as blindfold on a plane with the caption, “I need this plus drugs for my trip to HK.”

Well fuck me. He came to HK otherwise known as Hong Kong and didn’t call? Come spend the night? Let me take him to dinner? Hold his hand? Show him the town? Wine n’ dine. The things I do best. I hate these fucking homos who develop some sense of sensibility. How am I to maintain my sleazy ways? Ah I was hurt for moment, but realized, what would be the point.

It would amount to the world’s first death by evil eye. “Scrappy, I’m taking Eduardo to dinner since he’s visiting, that’s no biggie is it?” Flash of light, poof and bit of smoke is all you would see. What guy or girl truly wants to be a mistress or even worse a long distance mistress. But why does this guy linger in my mind? What does this mean?

Scrappy is totally loyal and he clearly plays the emotionally stronger one despite his age. He’s found plenty to do in the active HK fashion scene and I’m happy when I have a night alone as he puffs around with a bunch of bitches yapping about couture. My fashion style is the ever popular, “I don’t give a shit” which ensures I’m properly dressed for nearly any occasion.

I am struggling though with some deep desire to reach outside my cage and swat around. Is this just me being a man? Does Scrappy do this but I’m just blind? Or am I confronted with the perpetual gay issue of how to be happy with your partner? A desire to get that new car.

I often myself arguing about the cards I’ve been dealt. Oh those are bad cards. I wish I had other cards. I know I should focus on playing the cards I have on the table. Making the best of it and most of the time I have a good hand comparatively. But yet I often daydream about life without Scrappy. Off the leash, prowling at will, ah the good life. Or is it? Definitely not, I mowed the grass in that yard a few times already.

This year Scrappy and I will have been together for 5 years. Five long years and my story on this blog is now 6 years old. Wow. How times flies when you’re having fun.

I traded married life with my wife to married life with Scrappy with little light in between. Thus I must profess I really know little about “gay” life. The closest I get is when I have to endure another Housewives of “somewhere” marathon week on Fashion TV where upon Scrappy pulls up a chair for the long haul. He has homo friends and bitches and I, well I mostly just have him and my work colleagues and that is pretty much what I had before.

So I’m not expert on homo life and I’ve really seen only a glimpse of this multi faceted world. Sufficient to say, I got lucky, Scrappy has a world of faults, but he’s loyal to a fault as well. Left to my own devices, I believe I would stay in perpetual trouble. Prof. Tim visited from Chicago and we went out for a drink in the gayborhood and some cute little Asian puff came up and kissed me. What can I say, I’m a dude magnet!

Needless to say, Scrappy keeps a close eye on me to ensure I drive between the lines. Me, I keep hoping he’ll find another boyfriend, which seems only to fuel his loyalty to me even more. A form of reverse psychology.

The short answer is I think I’m damn lucky. For all of Scrappy’s fault s (real or imagined), he was a godsend in my adventure. It’s really hard in the gay world to find a partner, the stats are against you and factor in some normal emotional scars, it’s a real challenge.  It’s not easy and particularly for the long haul.

I still think other gays are gonna faint when one of us tells them we’ve been together for years instead of the more acceptable months (Gay years).

All in, I’m doing OK and hope you are as well.

But those old readers (still alive), who might venture by, I thought an update might well be in order. So here goes …

I secured a permanent position in Hong Kong and just this week locked down a 2 bedroom lux apartment. Nice building, pool, gym. It’s what the Brits would say is posh. Work is going fine, it’s stupid company on a road to nowhere and I’m content to take money from them in large quantities. My other company (the one I started) and though I’m no longer and active partner, I started to draw a monthly share of the profits as well. So work wise, all good.

Scrappy is still very much in my life. He managed to segway his way into a fancy salon busy with the whiteies in Hong Kong and bitches normally like him so he’s suddenly found himself work a lot of hours. The pay is shit, but he’s working his way there and keeps him out of trouble during the day.

We’re still very much together. It has been quite stressful. Hong Kong ain’t Indiana and there are really only 2 modes here. You either live like a local or you live like a King, there is relatively little middle ground here (clearly an opportunity). So you can guess which direction I decided.   I pay Scrappy his monthly allowance and I got him medical insurance and he’s mostly happy. We have regular martial quarrels, usually over very stupid little things. Mostly though we’re trying to adjust together to Asian life.

Scrappy and I haven’t been to the gay scene in ages. Our weekends are venturing about, dinner or staying at home. Very boring, but typical married life. The drama is always in the air, Scrappy has a theatrical quality about him. I continue to wind him up with throngs of cute Asians. Scrappy knows my type and I get into trouble walking down the street 2 blocks before I even see the guy. Oh well.

My son was accepted into a top engineering school but he wants to major in Physics. WTF do you do with a physics degree? Who knows? But he consults me regularly and my overarching advice is always – do what makes you the most happy. Life should be that simple.

On rare occasions, we hit another homo wandering around and for these public ones, the club never seems to close, they go from one drama to another, flying here and there, new boyfriend, old boyfriend, dumped boyfriend, always a story, always an out, seemingly happy, suspiciously sad. I suspect strongly that the best ones only stay on the market a short while and similar to Scrappy and myself disappear quickly

Am I glad I made this move? Well I’m not sure it’s worthy of pontification. It is what it is.

I

But now I turn serious, I decided to go get HIV tested. Not for any particular reason but more as a “aint’ done that in a while”. Having lived in the ghettos of DC (most of the city) with near epidemic levels of AIDS, getting testing is a breeze. A walk-in clinic, few questions, no money, quick swab test and 15 minutes later you’re walking out ready to bang a new homie-g. In more serious speak, it’s pretty damn easy. At least based upon the single time I got tested.

So there I was in Sydney Australia and had an idle moment and figured now was a good time. So I got busy on the web looking about. Wasn’t so straight forward. Different locations, different rules and different schedules. I got confused so I dialed up a local clinic and asked. Well, it would seem Australia is stuck in the dark ages. They only do blood tests, which take a week for results, the free clinics require you to schedule an appointment and ooops, sorry nothing is available until next week. I hung up, clearly Australia has some work to do to improve their process.

Back in Hong Kong, I figured I’d try again. Another web search and up popped the Hong Kong AIDS foundation with a schedule of “no questions asked” clinics offered a few times during the week. I had questions though and attempted to call only to be greeted with voicemail saying the office wasn’t open and to try back again during office hours (though I was calling during office hours).

I finally managed to get thru and with only a few questions I was assigned a secret code word and told to go to a specific office address, ignore the name on the office door and be there at 1 pm sharp on Saturday. I arrived at 1 pm, banged on the door and was quickly ushered in with hushed tones. Hong Kong offers a 15-minute prick test and the tester asked a few questions for statistical purposes and the test performed. All negative and off I was sent packing.

In talking to the tester, a nurse who volunteers their time. He said that in Hong Kong Asian gay men don’t like to get tested and clearly want it to be done privately & discretely (hence all the secrecy). Having said that, he sets up shop at the area saunas and is surprised at how few takers he gets for the free 15-minute low hassle test. His message to me, HIV may be unreported. Great.

The reality though I bought the iPhone more to own a piece of history. I am wading through the Steve Jobs biography and for all his many faults, shit got done, shit that matter, shit that changed a lot of people’s lives. I’m so hyped up, I’ve embarked on reading the various Zen books quoted in the biography. Apple will never be the same and I wanted the last product he touched.  Simple as that.

Scrappy has been busy in Hong Kong sniffing around. He found some little old woman between 3 and 400 years old, sitting on the side of the road selling green onions and cilantro. He was taken by this and bought some and then proceeded to send me a photo of them. There he was on a busy street, him with no Chinese and the little old lady with no English but still communicating. Speaks to how Scrappy operates. He sees things from a different light.

The combination of the Steve Jobs biography and Scrappy has indeed gotten me to see things in a different light.

I’m back to my old model, work and adventures with Scrappy. He growls if my eyes linger on some Asian chew toy for more than a a few seconds. But for the most part, we’ve resumed our normal course.

Scrappy was yapping about one of his best friends, gay guy he’s known forever, cute, bubbly and someone I’m not allowed to meet. Scrappy figured out how his friend had no issue getting fresh guys, would fall in love with them, but as soon as they fell in love with him, he would immediately start a process of getting rid of them citing some vague issue. We both seen this behavior before, searching for a non-existent person.

There is always something we’d like different. I have a long list of things I’d want Scrappy to do (like keep the socks organized), but people aren’t a product or a service which you can easily change. I’m not saying I’m settling, just in the scheme of things my main deal points have been covered.