My two year wait

This is so hard

2010-03-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

I wish I could just tell him...tell him what's going on...tell him I'm hurting...tell him how much I really miss him...I keep dreaming that he is home and I feel so much peace having him here, but then there is always something different in the dream like we can't talk or we can't date or something. I think it is my sub-conscience telling me that its not quite time for him to be here. I wish I could tell him all the not good things going on right now, but I feel like there isn't anything he can do about it at this point in time, so I should just spare him the drama. Its the right thing to do. I think missionary girlfriends are the only people in the world that can truly write the most upbeat happy letters when they really feel crummy! I hope someday when someone tells him how grumpy and horrible I was while he was gone, that perhaps someone else will tell him everything I have gone through for us. Maybe that will make more sense as to why I have been the way I have. Special thanks to my family and friends who put up with me. Thank you for letting me be me, and loving me unconditionally!

Transfers!

2010-03-22T19:02:00.000-07:00

Austin was transferred last week. He is in the same zone, but now in an area called San Vicente. He has a new companion (obviously) who is his "step dad" meaning that its his second companion but he is still in training so its not his original dad or his first trainer but his step dad. I was completely unaware of all this lingo...silly me. He gets to take warm showers now as opposed to heating up buckets of water at his last place because the water was cold. YAY! He lives with the zone leaders! Austin also baptized a husband and wife a few weeks before the tranfers. The man that he baptized very first (who is in the video) is now preparing to enter the temple and he got the Aaronic priesthood. Very Exciting! Its so cool to see the good the gospel can do for people's lives!
Austin and I have decided to read the Book of Mormon together this time. I am just waiting for him to finish (he's almost done) and then we will start again together. We will set goals and report to each other every week when we write. I think this will be a fun thing and it will keep us close together. I am so excited! I finally got his mission plaque made. His bishop said they are trying to do away with that tradition so I had his made for him. He was very excited about it. So was I! Other than that nothing else new with him...It's been 5 months already! This is probably the worst 1/4 of the mission...seeing him off and all. It was quite the adjustment not having him here but somehow I've made it this far. I can totally do this, and I know what I am waiting for! Its been really great getting my life in order and I am actually excited for this adventure. We are creating memories even now, when he is away, that I will cherish forever!

Ten reasons why I want this two years to hurry!

2010-03-09T22:35:00.001-08:00

So...in light of the fact that I have been completely miserable the past two weeks...I am going to do a top ten reasons why this two years needs to hurry! I was feeling so much better and for some reason unknown to me I have been missing the boy extra lately.

10-I most of the time feel like I can't breathe and I don't have a "Jacob" to help the hole in my chest close up a little bit--for all you Twilight fans who know exactly what I am talking about. ha ha

9-I NEVER have a thing to do on the weekends...especially the ones when my daughter is with her dad. I actually miss work which if you know me is not my style..although I do love my new job...I just used to really enjoy my weekends.

8-I feel like such a loser when I hang out with people who are in relationships or married, because I am in one, he's just not here so I am just the "stag friend". Plus I think we all know how awkward it can be to hang out with people who are dating anyways. Third wheel is all I gotta say...and I am not a fan.

7-I feel like a loser when I hang out with the single people, because in the back of my head I feel like I shouldn't really be here...I'm not single and I'm not married and I am a little old to be waiting for a missionary so I am just in some weird class all my own!

6-He's not here when I need him or just want him to be around...which is always! My very best friend in the whole world isn't here when I want to tell him something or just be in his company...I really miss it.

5-I am ready to start the next step in my life. I heard this quote from the movie When Harry Met Sally... "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." Enough said.

4-This feeling is very uncomfortable...yes I made the choice to wait for him but still it hurts in places I didn't know it could hurt!

3-I am dying to go through the temple with him!!

2-I am sick and tired of all the crap I get for choosing to wait for him! Leave me the heck alone...how is my choice affecting you..is all I have to say to the people who give me a hard time about it.

1-I just straight up hardcore miss him like mad crazy!!!

Updates!

2010-02-20T21:36:00.000-08:00

Wow! Its been a crazy month! I made it through my birthday and Valentine's Day without Austin! One down one to go! I wasn't able to get a Valentine's package to him this year...better luck next year! We are both okay with whatever...we've decided to make it up to each other when he gets back. Its super hard to get packages to him and it takes a long time and a lot of money.
I got a new job so I have been busy with that. I was working my old job and my new job for the past two weeks. I am so happy with my new job and it will help the time to pass quicker.
So I learned from Austin that in Mexico I am called his pineapple. That is what they call their girlfriends. I thought that was pretty cool! He is probably doing another baptism here pretty soon...he wasn't sure on the date yet so I will keep you posted! He had zone conference this week and interviews with the Mission President...hopefully that all went well. It is so awesome getting an email from him every week to hear how he is! I am loving it! This is starting to get a little easier and go a little faster. He has been out 4 months now!

First Baptism!!!

2010-01-26T20:52:00.000-08:00

Austin did his first baptism this past week!! It was on Thursday, January 21, 2010. He got to do it in the ocean, and I got to see a video of it! His grandma's old Neighbor, named Dale, lives in Puerto Vallarta currently, and he made a video of the baptism to share with us! I feel so blessed to have gotten the opportunity to see his first baptism, and in the ocean no less! Austin gave me the go ahead to post the link on here to share with all of you! Enjoy! Its very touching!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUzpUdp19jM

New Years

2010-01-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

I went to my Aunt's house for New Years Eve. What else is a missionaries girlfriend supposed to do?! I, for the first time since Austin left, just let go and enjoyed myself. I am really glad that I went! We laughed and played games and ate lots of food. My family is truly a blessing to me while I am going through this hard time. I was really sad that Austin could not ring in the New Year with me. I really got choked up when it actually hit midnight and it was a New Year. I met Austin in 2009 and it was one of the best years of my life. Luckily, 2010 will be the only full calendar year I won't get to be with him. I got to give my little girl a New Years kiss though :)

Christmas Phone Call 2009

2010-01-01T22:40:00.000-08:00

Austin called his parents earlier in the day from a members house and asked them to call him back at 7pm our time. His dad started calling at 7 and the line was busy. It took about 45 minutes to get through but he finally got a hold of him. We all talked to him on speaker phone. I didn't think I was going to be here when he called but I made it so I got to talk to him twice in one week. The first thing he said to us was " You guys are speaking English". That was pretty funny! He kept answering all the questions we asked with Si. He is in Puerto Vallarta currently and he is 5 hours away from his mission presidents house. He has NO HOT WATER in his apartment and they have to boil water to rinse off with. He also has to wash his clothes by hand. But...he didn't complain once about it. I am so proud of him for toughing it out! I will take extra long hot showers just for him! ha ha It was so great talking to him! He has changed a lot, but at the same time he's still Austin. After we got done talking to him was the hard part. No one wanted to hang up. I cried and cried after we got off the phone with him. Its going to take a while to get letters and I won't get to talk to him for a while now. This is for real...he is really gone now. Not just up in Provo. My mom kept reassuring me that he would be just fine. I replied with "Its not him I am worried about, its me". Of course he will be fine. All in all it was the best present I could have asked for to talk to him on the phone. Next to him coming back, but that won't be for a while. I truly am so proud of him for doing this and I know he is doing a wonderful thing!

I got to talk to him on the phone!!!

2009-12-31T00:02:00.000-08:00

Austin got to call from the Dallas/Fort Worth, TX airport!! He left for Mexico on December 21, 2009. He had a 5 hour layover so he got to call everyone! I was honestly very nervous to talk to him after two months, but it was so wonderful to hear his voice. We got to talk for an hour. He shared all of his MTC experiences and I got to share my patriarchal blessing with him (which I got while he was gone). He told me how excited/nervous he was to get to Mexico. It was really the best day and it was just a few days before Christmas so I knew I would get to talk to him again in a few days.

The MTC

2009-12-30T23:56:00.000-08:00

The MTC experience actually was not too bad on my end of it. He was in the MTC for 2 months due to learning spanish. I got letters twice a week. I could expect a letter every Tuesday and Friday. It didn't take long to get or send letters and there was same day package deliveries to the MTC. We sent all kinds of packages--All the stuff he forgot because he packed the morning he left, and Halloween and even Christmas! The first month really dragged on for me, but the second month went by much faster. He told me that it felt like it was just one long day from the time he got there.

The day he left...October 21st, 2009

2009-12-30T23:44:00.000-08:00

The day Austin left was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. It caused me physical pain in my heart that he couldn't hug or kiss me goodbye. When I got to his house he still hadn 't packed yet...So like him! Leave it until the day you're leaving to pack for a two year trip. After he got done packing we went with his family and him to Training Table for lunch because he didn't have to report to the MTC until 1:15 that day. Once we finished eating we made the drive up to Provo, Utah to drop him off at the Missionary Training Center. I truthfully did not want to go along to drop him off, but he insisted. Now, I am really glad I went. Although, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do to watch the love of my life walk away from me for the next two years, it was so great to see all the other missionaries there who were so happy. At that point I knew he would be well taken care of and that he would be happy too. It was so hard to say goodbye to him. I still got a kiss on my forehead and a promise that he would marry me when he returns! Then I climbed into the car and cried my eyes out while Austin's best friend held me. It honestly made my heart hurt in places I didn't even know it could.

When he asked me to wait...

2009-12-30T23:18:00.000-08:00

When Austin asked me to wait we had been dating for about 7 months. We had already discussed the idea of me waiting for him while he serves his mission in the past. He knew that I was cool with waiting for him.
Funny story...The third or fourth time we hung out together I asked him about whether he was going to serve a mission or not and his reply was that he was getting ready to turn in his papers really soon. That was the worst thing he could have said to me at that point. I responded with "we can't hang out anymore". Totally kidding but serious at the same time. I did not want that heartache, but deep down I knew that I was already too far "in like" (as we always said before we said I love you) with this guy to stop seeing him.
So... that brings us to our trip to Las Vegas, Nevada in July, 2009 (which is after he received his call to Guadalajara, Mexico leaving October 21, 2009). One of the nights we were there we decided to go inside the Bellagio and check out the chocolate fountain and the gardens. Well the whole day Austin and my sister were laughing and joking around with each other. I kept thinking they were starting to like each other or something. So we're sharing a crepe at the chocolate fountain and Austin gets down on one knee and says my full name and asks if I will wait for him with a beautiful promise ring in his hand. Of course I said yes. No doubt about it. Plus, I figured out why my sister and him were joking around all day. She knew about the ring all along. I couldn't have been happier!! He did a good job!