My Undisclosed World Of Thoughts

Enabling Habit Ecosystems

2021-04-17T23:52:00.014-07:00

(4 mins read)

In last week's article we talked about how you can build habits into your life.

But I often wondered if there was a way to go one up on that and build an ecosystem of habits to perform on a whole different level?

In this article, we will cover how some of these habits, coupled together, create exponential impact.

Let's begin to understand this ecosystem beast slightly better.

What is a Habit Ecosystem?

An ecosystem is defined as an area where organisms(Plants, animals, other creatures) as well as externalities(weather and landscape), work together to achieve an end result (form a bubble of life).

We will take this exact analogy and replicate what an ecosystem represents in habit terms. Let me take the liberty to define a habit ecosystem.

A habit ecosystem manifests itself as a mental model(area) where a set of habits(organisms) as well as optimizations(weather) and processes(landscape) work together to form an achievement of expertise(bubble of life).

Simplified,

Area ~ Mental model

Organisms ~ Habit sets(A set of complementary habits)

Landscape ~ An overarching Processes framework

Weather ~ Optimization related to habits

Bubble of life ~ Achievement of Expertise(The endgame)

Now that we know the constituents, let's know more about the building of this framework.

This building of an ecosystem does not come easy and one must cross the valley of despair - a rite of passage.

The Despair Valley

The biggest issue with habits or associated ecosystems is their sustainability and retention. Most things we start, we end up quitting out of frustration or lack of quick wins.

I’m sure you have all been through this valley of despair as well.

Status quo is comfortable and we resist change. In fact, humans are wired to perceive any change as a threat activating the stress response.

No wonder that we fight change so much and resist overhauls.

The Kubler-Ross Change Model depicts this aptly. Change is fought at first, pushing us into the valley of despair and routinization happens much later.

In a multi-habit scenario - this interplay becomes both interesting and challenging.

But is there a way to choose habits that interplay and support each other fueling your inner sense of achievement?

This is where self-sustaining habits come in.

Self-Sustaining Habit sets(Organisms)

A good habit sustained over time gives you a decent ROI.

When you put a few complementing habits together and sustain these over time, they compound giving you a disproportionate ROI.

Again, let's take the example that I quoted in the last article on Habits.

I support my early hours in the morning with a morning routine. These are my top 3 activities (Done in the same order):

30 minutes of no activity but music - Music in the ears and visualizations.
A morning jog - To quell any nervous energy. I find running therapeutic.
Meditation - To help give me a sense of calm before I hustle through my day.

The 30 mins of music feeds into my running by building up my internal tempo(move from light piano all the way to EDM/Punjabi).

The run helps convert the built up energy and any pent up frustration. Post running, it is easier for me to slide into a calm meditative state after the nervous energy is expelled - something that took me a good part of 5 mins.

There is no force though - some days I just relax and listen to "Brown Munde" on repeat and I think it's a perfectly good replacement. :)

Long story short - these 3 habits interplay well for me- compounding my sense of calm and achievement before I’ve even had a meal or started work.

Process Layer(Landscape) and Optimizations(Weather)

We all generally follow 3 process layers unconsciously:

Time bound process - When to do a particular activity
Learning process - How to do a particular activity
Goal setting process - How are we progressing

There are also tactical optimizations that make the experience better: Good music and podcasts, good running shoes and a pleasant trail, and good quality meditation content.

Here we have defined just one Habit set. I have built other habit sets around my work and around my personal life. (Keep them confined to no more than 3 - Will cover in the rule of 3 in the next article)

If you go one level higher, habit sets interplay with each other too and that feeds into your final outcome. These help me and can definitely help you be the best version of yourself.

Tying it all together

This is my take on what such an ecosystem looks like. As we have defined - it consists of habit sets, processes, optimizations and these play together to build you up incrementally.

When I further break down one of my habit sets, this picture emerges.

Naturally, the yield curve of such an ecosystem over time is much steeper as you add more habits/habit sets and throw them all into the mix.

While I may be defining fresh new frameworks and may have broken this down academically, these ideas are intuitive and must be adopted keeping in mind your life stage, circumstances and supporting structures.

How can you do the same?

Get a pen and paper or an excel sheet and define your ecosystem today - start small by casting out some existing habits and incrementally adding new ones to your schedule.

There will be a lot of hit and trial before you hit upon the best possible combination that works for you. Took me a good part of 3 months to land upon something that works for me but good to start somewhere and understand yourself. Self awareness, after all is the first step to enlightenment!

Are you ready to be the best version of yourself? I wish you luck in this pursuit.

Next Article: Rule of 3 extended.

Peace!

Creds for Change model: Slidesalad.com

Habit Formation

2021-04-11T00:06:00.022-07:00

(4 mins Read)

Based on collective feedback from the previous article, I have decided to focus on anecdotes within this article on how I built some habits into my life.

Let's start by defining a very interesting concept called the utility function.

The Utility Function

In Economics, the utility function represents the satisfaction that consumers receive for choosing and consuming a product or service. During my B-school days, just like many of my batch-mates, I decided to define my own personal utility function.

Hence, I want you to think of the utility function as something that you wish to define your own life with.

It consists of variables one may wish to maximize/minimize in life. For example - one may wish to maximize their happiness and wealth while minimizing stress.

Your own utility function may contain more than just one variable. Mine would read something like this:

My aim in life is to maximize these. With this in mind, I have defined the habits that I need to get to that ultimate state of invincibility. Habits are the building blocks to achieve that reality.

Habits and Compounding

Habits define you, make you who you are. Do something constructive consistently over a period of time and it breeds success. My favourite image to illustrate the same:

As promised earlier - Instead of going into gyan mode, I'm going to narrate my experience of a habit I have struggled with - waking up early. More recently, I have been able to build this into my life.

Having said this, everyone is a WIP and so am I, so take the ideas below with a pinch of chat masala. Let's begin!

Problem Recognition

I have struggled immensely with waking up early all my adult life. People belong to the 5 a.m./6 a.m. CEO clubs. I was a proud lifetime member of the 10 a.m. club.

And I enjoyed this guilt-free. Comfort is easy, comfort is enjoyable but comfort does not let you grow!

Waking up late had many detrimental effects on my lifestyle - I would let the world get to me with their problems as soon as I started my day and instead of starting my day calmly, I jolted myself up with frustration.

Not the ideal way to start anyone's day, is it?. How did I solve this? By acknowledging the problem and then attacking it through some quick wins and some hacks with a strictly defined moving target.

Initial Changes and Small wins

I set both a sleep alarm(rang at 12 midnight) and a wake up alarm(7:30 a.m. to start with).
Having a morning routine - meditation, a jog, and 30 mins of nothingness listening to music.
Read a book before sleeping for 10 minutes. This was the book I started with(My mind needs more convincing)

How I used data to solve this problem [Hacks]

Fitbit to the rescue - I tracked my sleep patterns on Fitbit to understand my optimum level of sleep.

This is a fun exercise one can do with any basic tracker or a pen and notebook.

For me, the biggest revelation was to control my sleeping time. Any delta there would cause an automatic shift in my wake up time.

Easier said than done though - It has been an uphill battle to pull my sleep time* but I have made small changes to get to where I am today(Reducing screen time was another habit I built - will talk about this some other time). The graph below helps drive home the point.

Over the months, talking of averages - I now sleep at a better time, wake up at a better time and sleep a fair amount of hours(needs to be amped up marginally)**. I am also slowly moving towards my 6 month target of 6 a.m. (2 months to go and I've cracked 6:30 a.m. now)

(* - Dec'20 data missing because my tracker was in repair. Apr'21 wake up time was influenced adversely due to 4 sick days) (** Sleep time is roughly 86% of hours in bed)

Other optimizations:

I supplemented my loss of sleep with 15 mins power naps or a 30 min Yoga Nidra session during the day. There will be teething issues though - I once fell asleep during an office meeting.
Set the curtains open when I slept so when the light hit my face, I'd wake up. (works like a charm)
Calendarized everything. If it was on my calendar - I was more likely to acknowledge it. (Thanks to my Brit counterparts at OYO for this life lesson).

Again - I don't do these things everyday or perfectly.

There are also mornings where I do nothing but lie in bed watching people's lives on Instagram stories. There will be a range of days and that is ok. Getting it 80% right gets you there.

Summarizing . . .

To conclude my basic learnings on habit building:

Start small, keep persisting. Small incremental process changes over step jumps.
Habits that compliment each other and build an enabling ecosystem give compounding returns (Will cover this further in the next article).
I was able to sustain habits that were linked to my personal goals/utility function than habits that were not(Still haven't learnt the guitar!!).

How has this habit of waking up early benefitted, you may think. The top benefits for me have been:

More time to pursue my hobbies (I read, meditate and run)
A much calmer start to the day - I do not rush into work as soon as I get up and still start my work day 1 hour ahead of anyone else.
I have become more perceptive of things and people around me and seen a positive change in my outlook towards life.

There is a lot more I wished to cover but that's all you get in a contracted 3 mins 4 mins article. :) I hope and wish this article helps you. In the next one, I will elaborate on the ecosystem such small habits, when put together, create.

Next article: Enabling Habit Ecosystems

Extra material:

A great video by Robin Sharma here on habits
Atomic habits by James Clear
Follow Naval, James Clear, Julian Shapiro on Twitter.
Yoga Nidra by Divya Rolla(Look her up)

Peace!

Glorification Of Passion

2021-04-03T22:58:00.017-07:00

3 mins read

I have regularly been intrigued by things that people are passionate about. It could be travel, photography, art, or something quite eccentric.

Often times, I have dwelled on the extent to which people should project, showcase, dramatize or even monetize their passion(s).

I feel there should be a certain way we deal with our passions. We should take it easy and not get carried away by influencer-speak. At the same time, I do acknowledge that this is easier said than done. Let’s explore this, shall we?

Oh Passion, my passion!

Passion can be many things.

Simply put, passion is a powerful desire for an activity, an object, or a concept. Passion motivates and inspires you to take action.

I'm a passionate person. I passion-hop (I might have just invented the term, Sahil ™)! It's natural for me to be passionate about multiple things at once and to pursue these. Most people I know have passion-hopped throughout their lives.

Almost everywhere - online as well as offline - you may have read messages like these:

"Free yourself from conformity. Listen to your inner voice."

"Unchain yourself. Follow the road that's less travelled."

"Quit your job today! Follow your passion in life."

While these could be worth a try and I, myself, have thought about a career in mountaineering, what worries me is that it has unreasonably demonized the regular 9-to-5 corporate job.

Most of us want to look for a way out, while never losing sight of that pot of gold. If you think about it - In our minds, there's a painted version of ourselves in the future, and that version is happier, more satisfied, and more successful.

How remarkable that happiness and success seem to always lie in the future.

Questioning why such a dreamy notion takes seed, an interesting picture emerges.

The narrative

Lately, social media Influencers and film stars have built a narrative that suggests that we should follow our passion and completely devote ourselves to it while we can.

Many people agree with them, but the idea of quitting your present pursuit as a solution, so that you can follow your passion, can be puzzling.

This narrative does two things really conveniently :

It overlooks the fact that one does not need to convert one's passion into a job to follow it

It essentially assumes that we understand our passions sufficiently enough to pursue them over a given period, say a few years

The funny thing about passions is that they can be temporary, fleeting, transient - they change with time and circumstances. Think of what you were passionate about over the last 5 years, and the 5 years before that. You'll see what I mean.

Musing about a passion without discipline and a game plan can be a recipe for disaster.

Is there a passion-pandemic?

We have an entire generation believing that their true calling is out there to find them. This generation feels they are stuck in their present jobs.

This is an extreme glorification of passion!!

As for me, I love to travel and I'd prefer to do that all the time. Although, after two weeks of travel, I crave the calm and peace of my home. I yearn for the stability of my job.

When I work hard, I enjoy the vacations even more as it seems like a release. To truly appreciate something, you need distance and a certain level of withdrawal.

In my opinion, over-indulgences rarely lead to anything fruitful in life.

The sweet spot!

I firmly believe there is a sweet spot.

I don't mean to discourage someone from following their passion or critique the narrative of the influencer-speak.

I mean to highlight that whether you want to follow a passion or not, it is strictly based on how you wish to live your life.

Identify the steps to build that life. With the right input and the correct questions in mind, you will discover your path. Build a strong sense of self-awareness and unwavering discipline. While passion and inspiration may be sparks, discipline is your fuel.

My recommendation would be to optimize your inputs, instead of the output. Good work ethic with a desire to learn, great time management skills, having a growth mindset - these inputs will always help you succeed. Doing these will surely help you find your way without glorifying your passions.

Once you've set your target on a passion you wish to wholeheartedly pursue, go all-in. There is no folding in real life. :)

Here's a photo of me following one of my passions (At the Everest Base Camp on 4th May 2017):

Next Article: Habit Formation

Peace!

The Deal With Meditation

2021-03-27T11:01:00.023-07:00

3 mins read.

Last year, around Covid and perhaps, even slightly before it, I took a conscious call to reflect and build some habits into my routine.

Mediation was one habit I'd read a great deal about - particularly the fact that it helped regenerate grey matter and also made you calmer in the process. I thought, why not?

Most top leaders recommend it, our forefathers sing praises of it so why not give it a shot?

Reflecting today, after a year of regular practice and as passionate as I have now become about the topic - I recommend people to try and see the benefits of meditation.

While discussing with people on this topic, I have gotten some interesting questions/thoughts and my attempt below is to document these and provide my humble viewpoint.

What is meditation?

Wikipedia defines meditation as "a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state." Heavy words.

Heavy words and definitions lead people to lack of clarity and that leads them to inaction. What the mind doesn't understand, it worships or fears. A biological optimization.

Meditation for me is the simple act of focusing on one entity and re-focusing as many times as your attention deviates to thoughts. Easier said than done though but constant practice helps.

But meditation is not for me. I am restless - I can't keep my mind clear/sit in one position!

Meditation is not necessarily about clearing your head but about focusing your attention to a single source - be it your breath, a sound, a particular body part or even a sensation that you're experiencing.

The mind is a canvas, there are a million thoughts it paints and erases. The idea is to let the slide show of the mind run while constantly re-anchoring your attention to the single source you've decided to focus upon.

But meditation will take a lot of time during my day!

As a personal habit, I started meditating 5 mins a day. Continued this practice for a good month or so. Found it to be very relaxing and calming and gradually increased it to 10 minutes a day. I also combined it with some prayers so as to please the Gods while I'm at it. :)

In totality, I have never exceeded 40 minutes and very rarely exceed 20 minutes.10 minutes of mindfulness is all you need to get started.

I have tried it but did not see any visible benefits of mediation!

Just like that of any good habit, the benefits of meditation compound beautifully over time. A calmer self, a clearer head, presence, good recollections, deeper focus and I can keep going.

To each his/her own, really. Having meditated regularly for over a year now, I can vouch for the benefits that are exponential in nature. You will just have to be a bit patient.

But I don't know any good sources to sustain the habit.

I personally am a big fan of Cult fit series of meditation. They have a plethora of options there.

Try guided meditation to learn the practice and then go deeper into it. Other apps/sources: Headspace, Calm, Spotify(Dhyanam playlist), Dr. Shyam Bhatt, Divya Rolla, Deepak Chopra, and many more.

Will mediation eliminate stress and anxieties in my life?

Meditation is not a magic potion and will not eliminate the source of your stresses and anxieties but may help you cope with them better.

Meditation is not a medical solution but a mindfulness practice. Always good to seek professional help if you feel you have overwhelming stress and anxieties that you are not able to deal with on your own.

Is there any research to benefits of mediation?

Meditation is shown to thicken the pre-frontal cortex. This brain center manages higher order brain function, like increased awareness, concentration, and decision making.

There is a lot of material out there about alpha waves, binaural beats, brain frequencies, brain health, etc. Feel free to explore. I am slowly exploring more content and will post more on this in the days to come.

In a nutshell - meditation is a good practice, costs nothing, has great overall benefits, and takes just 10 odd minutes of your day. Start today and persist - the upsides are endless. Cheers!

(Here's a photo of me post a meditation session at peak lockdwn way back in July'20.)

Next article: Glorification of Passion

Peace!

UNSOLVED

2020-05-02T06:51:00.001-07:00

Unsolved is that math problem from ten years ago

That geometry problem with triangles of torment and angles of anguish

I tried this formula and that random trick I’d learnt

Tallying those equations and reaching a dead-end every time

The problem remained unsolved for days at a stretch

Until I gave up on it and forgot about it completely

I found other easier problems to solve meanwhile

Pleasing myself, inflating my ego, giving me a solver’s afterglow

I solved many a problem over the years hence

Not all mathematical - some matters of the mind, some problems of the heart

But one fine day I encountered what looked like a similar problem

Those same triangles of torment, those same angles of anguish

My hands trembled with an eerie sense of familiarity – it was the same problem

It seem like I’d seen a long lost love, that I knew so much yet nothing about

I picked up the pen as I did resolve and gave it what would be my one last try

To my utter surprise, I was able to solve the problem without a sweat

It wasn’t the problem itself but the time, circumstances and my own self

That contributed to the question remaining unsolved for so long

Not all problems can be solved within the present times, try as we may

Some need more time by virtue of their inherent complexity

Some need better circumstances by virtue of their situation,

While some – just a better version of myself who’s reflected infinitely

With this epiphany, I glowed from ear to ear and proceeded to bigger problems,

Like was it really my turn again to wash the utensils and mop the floor today?

Distance

2020-04-04T04:10:00.004-07:00

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, they all say and proclaim

Yet the same distance when violated could now make the heart sicker

We live in these social distancing times, socially distraught and disturbing times

But is my distance from you only physical or social and not emotional in nature?

It took a disease for us to distance ourselves socially from our fellow beings

Yet it had already been a while since we distanced ourselves from the ones we so loved

These night-outs, drinking, dancing and the endless noise to drown the inner voice

Has not only distanced me from you but from my own true naked self

These hollow days of endless reflection only embolden these feelings further

That this distance would make the heart grow fonder only if the heart was ever there.

. . . Peace!

HOW TO NOT BE BUSIER THAN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD CAT 101

2018-04-02T06:11:00.001-07:00

(5 minutes read)

With over 6 months to the last post and 2.5 years to the last article, I’m making a habit of spacing out writing. Spacing out writing gives you large pockets of time to think about anything under the sun. The result, often, is a mature point of view after covering multiple perspective or sometimes just a bag of crap. I hope I avoid the fate of the latter option.

So, I read this article recently on how busy life is getting and how we’re over-burdened to the point of exhaustion (Link here). As a closet workaholic whose reaction to organized chaos is delight on most occasions, I tend to agree that we’ve driven ourselves away from the basics and towards the idea of success/achievement at alarming Usain Bolt speeds. To justify my expensive MBA degree, I have explored this issue using a framework which can otherwise be communicated in a simpler manner. The list below is not exhaustive and possibly not a compilation of the most logically sanitized arguments. Having said that you’re free to challenge me and free to critique my reasoning (In your mind).

Question 1: Are we really busy in the first place?

Situation: Someone is talking and I have conveniently zoned out. I am thinking of biryani, of that pretty girl from work, of how Steve Smith could have potentially ended his glorious career. I nod as I generally do when I talk to people. I interrupt the person, recalling that I have something important to do (watch the latest GOT episode) and I leave. This brings me to the associated myth for this situation.

Myth: Pseudo achievement concept - The best time to do something important is right now so why not do it and finish it off.

Reality: Not everything you do is urgent(Irrespective of importance). Taking time to introduce a life-saving matrix here: I was introduced to this matrix years ago to help me in times of distress. It has helped me make critical decisions like choosing between work and strategic sick leaves.

Recommendation: Looking at the above matrix, some non-urgent things can be pushed to a later time while some can be delegated/outsourced. While pseudo productivity will trick your brain into thinking you’re achieving something, you’re really better off scheduling and planning. Something like wearing a batman costume to office may be important but not urgent while responding to your manager's mail may be urgent but not important. I agree that it's a complex world and not everything is black & white. The idea is to improve decision making, not overhaul it. Trust priorities, choose your battles smartly and fight them well. Don't be Oberyn Martell.

Question 2: What is causing this lack of time in life?

Situation: I am working in office on an important project. It’s my dog’s birthday. The aforementioned entity is expecting a video call, a call at the very least. I am so busy with work and calls that I lose track of time and I forget there was a birthday. I realize much later that I’ve missed an important event. Now, I’m frustrated, sad and still overworked. I carry this guilt with me and it causes dissatisfaction. My dog is not talking to me anymore. Add up enough such events and I blame the government, my job and the Bengaluru traffic(in that order). You can put yourselves in my shoes and replace birthday with any other important event.

Myth: I just don’t have the time/ My job is the reason for all my problems.

Reality: You are just facing a bad resource allocation problem.

Recommendation: Simply put, you sow shit, you reap crap. The first and foremost thing to do is to stop, relax and, reflect for some time. See where you spend most of your time - whether it is binge watching Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu thi or gossiping with your neighbourhood uncle. Use this Excel below to identify how much time you use on a daily basis on certain activities.

Download this Excel sheet

This is just a basic excel I created on the go. Try to bunch activities and limit yourself to 8 broad activities(No, facebook debates cannot be included). Following a Lean mindset, identify the Value adding and Non-Value adding activities. Retain activities that you think you need(Non-value activities are important too, in moderation) and eliminate inefficiencies. You're smart. You'll do it. Piece of cake.

Question 3: We are busy but we aren’t satisfied. Why is being extremely busy linked to dissatisfaction so closely?

Situation 2: I’m sitting at home, watching a movie/sitcom while I chomp on rice without a care about carbs(It's a part of growing up and giving up on your stomach fat). I get a call from home. I start talking and I’m edging to get away to my movie/sitcom. With all the self-awareness, I understand in my mind that this is wrong. I wrap up the call within 5 minutes and resume my movie knowing at the back of my head that I'd have made the best son list at number 123342, 15 positions behind a drunk Shah Rukh Khan from Devdas.

Myth: I just don’t have much time to interact with friends and family.

Reality: This again is a subset resource allocation issue. You’re draining time on the wrong activities.

Recommendation: I’ve come to observe that 3 apps on my phone consume the most of my time. They are: Google Chrome (For Fb/Articles), Instagram and Zynga Poker. These apps assit me in my relentless pursuit and mastery of procrastination. Work, sleep, food habits, and daily interactions have all been made to revolve around these apps. I have also noted that whenever I travel and stay away from these apps for some time, I suddenly find so much time that I end up reading Chetan Bhagat novels and watching Jaani Dushman for the (n+1)th time (n tends to infinity).

I have no great suggestions here. Point blank - recognize the elephant in the room, make peace with the fact that the elephant is here to plunder your peace but make yourself in charge of how much time you give the elephant to shit on your daily plans.

I’m not pointing out anything path-breaking here. I’m only consolidating all that we already know about the issue and perhaps a way to tackle it in an organized manner. Take a break, reflect and I’m sure that you will find out things that you can alter which will make your life more productive with a very high “Life” Index.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GYAN Section - Read at Will

I thought of a preachy list of things I have learnt over the years. This list of activities has helped me keep myself at peace for most parts and follow the things I love with all my heart:

Discipline vs. Inspiration: Disciplined dedicated hours help and proper time/resource allocation makes it even better. Stopping kidding yourself and running on only inspiration as fuel. If the hours ain’t there, it ain’t happening.
Hobby Cycle: Maximize time on things that make you tick – If your job is not something you are very happy about and you love to run behind dogs, reserve a time to do so. If you don’t do things that give you confidence, you bottle yourself up and set yourself up for misery.
The pursuit of Happiness: Success is self-defined, satisfaction is a state of such accumulated successes and happiness is a state of such accumulated bits of satisfaction. The core is what you define as your metrics for success. Mess that up and you're a cribber for life.
Invest in Experiences: Spending time with family/friends is always a good idea; taking road trips to places, traveling far and wide is perhaps one of the better educators; investing time in self-improvment also goes a long way. Don’t indulge in experiences at the expense of other important things. Make time before your time meets you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A flipside argument to following a “non-busy” approach is that it might breed mediocrity and lead to complacency in life. But the biggest assumption within that premise is based on the idea of productivity. I’m willing to believe that if you’re highly productive in your hours at work, you can take long breaks and vacations, and still shine your way through appraisals(I'm kidding, your leadership should like you).

I understand that I've been extremely ideal here but idealism is difficult unless you're Rahul Dravid. Piecemeal improvements are the way to go here. Even if there is one element within this article that you can adopt and improve upon, it would make me extremely glad and constitute a success in my self-defined success framework. And haven't we all learnt now that it would make me happy eventually?

If the line above made no sense, please re-read the article again, but we all know ain't nobody got time for that! :P

Do write to me in case of any feedback/queries on the article at sahilkaul1991@gmail.com

Keep hustling!

Peace. J

क्या हो गयी ज़िंदगी

2017-09-17T12:56:00.004-07:00

आज सब्ज़ी वाले की दुकान पर सड़े हुए टमाटर देख के ख़याल आया
की तराज़ू के वज़न पे कट रही है ये नाज़ुक ज़िंदगी हमारी

कभी हुआ करते थे हम भी राजा अपनी बादशाहत के
आज कल नौकर बने घूमते हैं घर के काम निपटाने के लिए

कभी आलू कम पड जाता है तो कभी प्याज़ का रोना आता है
कभी दाले नहीं ग़लती यहाँ तो कभी केला पड़े पड़े सड़ जाता हैं

क्या था कसूर उस प्यारी सी आलू गोबी का इस दुनिया मे
जो बैठी रही बाहर सारी रात एक मुलाक़ात की याद में तन्हा

सुबह आते आते ढल गयी थी ज़िंदगी की चिंगारी उसके आस से भरे दिल मे
ना मिली मुलाक़ात, मिली तो बस बिरयानी के कारण बेवफ़ाई और अकेलापन

बस यही सारी तक़लीफें होती तो होती क्या ज़िंदगी
पर जीने के लिए कपड़ा और मकान भी तो चाहिए यहाँ

कपड़े धोना दुश्मन से जंग करना लगता है
कभी पाउडर कम पड़ जाता है तो कभी पानी नही आता है

कभी सब सही हो भी गया तो भी कहाँ चैन मिले गंदे कपड़ो को
सही वक़्त पर एलेक्ट्रिसिटी बोर्ड हमारी गंदी लगा कर पावर ले जाता है

कमरे की सफाई मे दुनिया के राज़ निकलते हैं हर कोने से
2 महीने पहले खाई गयी आलू भुजिया अभी भी अलमारी मे फसि हुई है

हैरानी इस बात की भी है कीआधा खाया हुआ बिस्कट मिला पिल्लो के नीचे से
बेड के नीचे नज़र डाली तो दिख गया जूतो का एक छोटा सा बाज़ार

जीना कहाँ है आसान यहाँ, हर दिन एक अलग जद्दो जहद सी जारी है
पर है एक आज़ादी सी इस ज़िंदगी मे, एक अनोखी सी बेवकूफी सी चलती है

और लिखने का बहुत मन था पर तुम सब को भी क्या बताउ मित्रो,
हमारी दीदी आई है आज 2 दिन के बाद, खाना बनवाना है तो चलता हू |

EXISTENTIAL ANGST

2017-03-06T14:57:00.002-08:00

Bustling with energy in a small corner of mindfulness
holding on to the sliver of truth, seething with rage
staring into nothingness with sheer disinterest towards anything
with the mind trapped in the confines of a cage

Thoughts of a world that could be reality
of sweet goodbyes, happy endings and endless care
deep forgotten longings have resurfaced again
seems like a distant feeling from the past, far too familiar

Stuck in a disarray of my own principles and morals
a deep concoction of my own perils served on an emphatic platter
any movement - forward or backwards is lined with dire consequences
I stand here on the edge of conscience unwilling to plunge

When the friendly is misconstrued, when the convivial is misjudged
when the trusted is mistrusted, when the benign is mistaken
the tall shards of glass come tumbling down on the bedrock of reality
when your fundamental idea of integrity is bruised and shaken

The mind still yearns for moments that will never exist
Unwittingly searching for answers to deep questions where they do not lie
Unable to do either, the mind unwillingly submits to the dark unknown
Plagued by mild anti-social escapist tendencies that stupefy

Wonder if it could all have been unthinkably remarkable,
had things gone right in an ideal world, free from any distortions
but is this life just a figment of my creative imagination?
what if we are all just tiny pods glorifying the liabilities of our mere existence?

. . . Peace!

THE BAG THAT OUT-TRAVELS ME

2015-10-18T05:59:00.004-07:00

Date: August 20^th 2014. Place: Hyderabad.

A bag came into my life. It was a green colour Quechua Forclaz 60 litre bag. The bag was pretty and I was immediately hooked. The bag belonged to Majid Siddique who worked with me at Deloitte then. I borrowed it from him for a trek to the Jhindagada peak, the highest peak of Andhra Pradesh. He also gave me trekking shoes that I would rather not talk about. I was astounded at how much the bag could fit. I was so excited that I put everything in it that I could carry. The result was that on my very first 3-day trek, I carried a load of 12kgs on my back. The problem, however, was that I weighed almost the same as the bag (See photo below for reference). Carrying the bag was an honour that came at a big cost. I was depleted by the time I returned from the trek. Truly Madly Deeply spent.

Skinny Paradise

(Left) In front of the Peak - (Right) On the peak(Literally on cloud Nine. I counted)

But as they say, the first time is always special (Trek or otherwise). I returned the bag back to to Majid. Less did I know that the bag would come back to me. Over the course of the next few months, the bag was carried for a few treks. The bag had already been on about 3-4 treks before I took it on my first. Majid offered to sell his bag and he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. I accepted the offer and the bag was mine.

The first place I took the bag to was Hampi. While my other fellow travelers carried hefty suitcases, I literally lived out of a bag. All my stuff came out and went into the same bag. Result: I took at least half the time that anyone else would take to pack their stuff. Stuff it, zip it, forget it. The bag made me feel like Superman. The T-Shirt in the picture below is a mere coincidence.

Clarke Kaul

Meanwhile, Naveen, who also accompanied me on the Hampi trip, needed a bag to go to Leh, Ladakh and he borrowed the Green Quechua awesomeness. Cognizant of the remarkable advantages of the bag, he was keen on saving some energy while packing in the oxygen depleted atmosphere of Ladakh. I graciously offered it thinking that that even though I couldn’t go to Ladakh then, at least my bag would. Naveen could literally live out of the bag as well. The bag had now seen heights of 16000 feet and above. The bag was initiated to the Himalayas.

Come May and I went on my first Himalayan trek to Roopkund. The bag faced a heavy challenge. I had to pack upwards of 15 kgs into the bag. If my bag were Sita, this would be its Agni Pareeksha. I stuffed things everywhere possible. I also discovered that the bag had 2 additional pockets by the sides. Desperation is the mother of life-saving discoveries. This was a tough trek demanding an uphill climb of around 30-40 kms. I travelled with truckloads on my back but the bag was utterly faithful. Not once did it fail me. I walked in winds, in rain, in the chill of the night but the bag was sturdy and intact. I came back with fond memories and the bag was a witness to it all.

(Trying to be Alexander Supertramp

The bag isn’t visible. I’m just flaunting here. It’s a good picture en route Roopkund

In the coming months, the bag was taken by Naveen to Coorg, and by Suboth to Hampi(Again!! The bag has some connection with that place. I’m planning a solo trip to Hampi soon. That’d be a third for the bag)

A very interesting thing happened when Vivek Gupta borrowed this bag for his
Mullyangiri trek. On the 2^nd day of the trek, news arrived that Vivek (our Roopkund trek organizer) and Sashi were lost in the jungles of Chikmanglur(Read here) . At first, I was worried about Vivek but after 5 minutes, I was worried about the bag. This was shallow on my part. I was told that Vivek and Sashi set out to search for the trail after leaving the bags behind with the other members of the team. I was not sure how to react to the news as I was still sad that Vivek was lost. I was worried that I would not be able to ever look at the bag if there was a tragedy on the trip. Luckily, both Vivek and Sashi made it out of the forest with a few scratches and leech bites, long after everyone had written their chances of survival off. The bag now had the tag of a survivor's bag.

In the month of August, I took a trip to Pondicherry and the bag followed. The bag was getting some serious miles under its belt(s) (like literally).

Now, there is this thing about me - If you know me, you’d know my love for mountains. Himachal Pradesh is one place I have been wanting to visit for quiet some time. As destiny would have it, my bag beat me to a trip to Himachal as well. Praneeth Nadella recently took the bag to Himachal Pradesh on the trek to Triund and Indrahar pass, a trek I’ve been planning since December 2014. I had a deal with Praneeth - I wanted a picture of the bag on the summit.

A moment of sombre reflection for the bag, thinking of all the days gone by

Praneeth not only sent me pictures of the bag, he also took a picture of the bag with Shoib Akhtar (Yes, the fast bowler from Pakistan). My bag not only beats me in travels but it also meets celebrities along the way.

Praneeth made the shoulder hoops count

The bag is pretty special to me. It has become a part of my identity and the life of my travels. I hope to take it to Himachal, Ladakh - Stok Kangri and East India in the near future. If not Everest, this bag will at least go to the Everest Base Camp during its lifetime. For as long as it lasts, it shall be my travel companion and will always be my Trekking bag that out-travelled me, in style!

Come to think of it, I should have a name for the bag now. #Now_thinking

Edit 1: The bag made it to Mount Everest Base camp.
Edit 2 : The bag made it to Spiti in Himachal Pradesh.
Edit 3: The bag also went to Ladakh with me.

More travel miles to follow.

Peace. . .

PEACE IN THOSE MOUNTAINS

2015-07-18T22:37:00.001-07:00

Dedicated to our guide Pushkar Singh who led us through the Roopkund expedition. He recently passed away trying to save a trekker who slipped on the trail. The news saddened us immensely and reminded us of our own trek. Pushkar hand-held us through tough stretches after we slipped on the trail ourselves. May your soul rest in Peace in those beautiful mountains, brother.

Edit(on 20th September): After a phone call recently, we got to know that Pushkar is alive. This was great news for us. The Roopkund memory shall still remain a sweet one. :)

In the midst of those cold windy paths,
Lies a valley surrounded by those beautiful clouds
The clouds sweep around the valley pouring down rain,
When they do move away, they bring in the bright sunlight

The paths I walk are long and arduous,

They ought to be for they lead to harsh terrains,
Beyond these terrains lie the lands of extreme beauty,
The view shall more than make up for the hardship, I hope

I take one step and then the other, careful not to tread too quick
With careful precision, I ensure I stay within the boundaries
A slip may prove perilous here,
For it may take me tumbling down into the valley down below

The valley below looks as breathtaking as they come,
Lined with ferns, flowers and splendid trees
While a descend into its arm might not seem that awful
The elevation of our mortal selves so far high turns that into a grim fancy.

Slow progress is much appreciated on these turfs,

Hurry may get you nowhere in the territory of mountains,
For the purpose of it all is lost upon you,
If you neglect the sheer brilliance of the view and walk indifferent.

When I finally reach the valley, it is as if we were meant to meet,

The radiance of this place has caught me spellbound,
The mountains surrounding it seem like a protective fortress,
It is a moment that is now etched in the confines of my mind

The breeze flows by with the fragrance of the earth surrounding me,
It’s time to leave but do I hear a serene song in my ears?
I shout through the valleys to the mountains promising to be back someday,
To experience once more the overwhelming peace in those mountains.

Peace!

OH BARBER, MY BARBER

2015-04-09T04:40:00.001-07:00

To give you a background on the whole issue, the barber shop I frequented for hair-cuts no longer exists. The building it was in, was broken down for road extension. The government has triumphed. The shop is no more. What has remained, however, is a hollow structure that shall be brought down very soon. The horror/hilarity of all the hair-cuts gone wrong and my love for Dead Poets society has resulted in this poem. Here goes:

You stood there majestic on the bottle-necked road,
In the stark cold, in the dry heat, even in the torrential rains did you open
Gentlemen, some bearded while some with long hair frequented you,
Coming out child-like was treasured by one and all.

You stood there with open arms, wide doors and sharp scissors,
Welcoming anyone who'd come to look more civilized,
You made us wait with the odd newspaper,
The pictures of beautiful women on Page 3 more than made up for the delay.

We waited for you to wield your artwork on us,
Ever so patient in making us look outrageous at times,
Your profound art made me look like a lunatic sometimes,
But I took it as a growing phase in our chop-full relationship.

They tore down your building, it broke my heart,
The barber shop I frequented has been reduced to rubble,
Where would I pay just 70 bucks and get a hair-cut?
I'm not sure what feels more morose, my hair or my wallet?

There are too many unanswered questions in my mind,
The summer heat is making my head spin,
My hair are facing an existential crisis of their own,
My wallet is threatening to lock itself down.

You may be "hairstylist" or "hairdresser" for others,
They give you fancy names while they can,
But you'll always be that barber from Jabbar building,
My hair shall forever be indebted to you for the mess ups.

Hope to see you in some other building on another street,
Praying that building is not brought down ever, by government, earthquake, flood, or tsunami
Hope you treasure all the hair you chopped off my head,
The bits that were chopped off and locked in your symbolic vaults.

Farewell, barber shop! See you in Shyamlal building (I heard they are opening up 1-2 kms from my home. Now I will walk and get a hair-cut. Health included :D)

Peace!

THE JOKER

2014-12-23T23:03:00.001-08:00

The stage is set and the lights are on,
Curious faces wait in anticipation
A dusty jacket waits on the empty chair of the dressing room,
In the air is a feeling of celebration

The crowd looks on to the stage, waiting
The stage is adorned in pretty lights,
The majestic carpet hugs the floor closely
It all makes for a glorious sight

He sits there lost in his own deep thoughts
a stellar performance is to be delivered
Visualizing the evening ahead in his mind
while the quandary within him quivers

He’s just had another fight with his child,
His partner has long left him in the past
His thoughts wander between now and 10 years ago,
He wonders if happiness ever does last

The time is right, the call is made and he sets off,
Everyone’s been waiting for him all night,
He’s quite the star as he enters with the widest of smiles
And the crowd cheers and thunders in delight

He starts off slow and builds up the tempo as he goes
People guffaw with plain joy on their faces
Everyone is equal here, no one is superior
Everyone has momentarily forgotten their races

He shows his prowess by adding humour to the trivialities of life
Spontaneous wit and observation are his best weapons
the conflict of thoughts in his head, meanwhile, is a constant struggle
but the crowd, abstracted and unmindful of any such occurrences, laughs on

He delivers his final act and wishes the crowd well on their way
The crowd stands up to give him a bidding farewell,
He smiles in return, it is a smile of satisfaction
The world sees what it wishes to see in you, he thinks

Let the demeanor not take away the truth,
He smiles wide but that’s only to hide the pain,
It may be sunny for the whole world,
But in his deep dark world, it rains.

His tragedy is the source of all his humour,
A joker he is, he has to perform,
To the world it does not matter what he goes through
The lights shine bright, the stage is set and the show must go on.

Peace. . .

UTOPIAN IN THOUGHT

2014-10-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

I sometimes marvel at the state of this world we live in
How despite all the endless possibilities, things move on,

How we, as people, evolve as we progress

How some are lured by extremities while some remain modest in approach.

Some walk the path of godliness and live in their world of make believe

While some walk a path so downtrodden, they would make a devil smirk in delight

Some walk the path in the center swaying this way or that

A dichotomy of uncertainties dwells deep within them,

What made them walk these paths, I wondered,

Power, money, freedom and on went the prompt replies in mind

Was it a moral thing to be consumed by these yearning?

Did ends necessarily justify the means?

Why we as a people had moved away from ideas of rationalism?

Why had crude materialism taken over our very being?

Each one seemed to move through this clutter without an indwelling sense of curiosity

Conformity would eventually be the price we pay for humanity

Was it possible to unlearn these years we had learnt wearing masks?

An art so mastered that turning back seemed like giving up on living itself

Was it somehow possible to give up this bloodlust for vices and progress forward?

Was there a future out there that would not encompass strife?

If only this world moved away from petty politics over trivialities,

Feuds over material possessions, lust for power and position

What if it rather moved towards the novel idea of free thinking,

The practice of self-development, the idea of peace, the religion of humanity

What if this world spoke the language of love

Unbounded by chains that hold us so far from each other

The good that we do may come back to us one day

And restore the balance that we so dearly need.

The mere habit of learning something new from each other every day wouldn't hurt,

Nor would the simple act of doing a good deed

How that place, in thought, is so simple to see

What a remarkably better place this world could be!

It's A Happy Diwali

2014-10-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

After the extended period of hibernation through most of this year, my blog is finally active again and what better occasion to start again than Diwali? The day started late as I needed to catch up on some sleep I had lost, thanks to some office work and midnight football games. I checked my phone and found numerous whatsapp greetings, photos and videos. Whatsapp greetings have become the social equivalent of customary phone calls one used to make back in the days, I thought. The ratio of calls to messages for me paled in comparison to that of my mother. Rapid digitization of our new generation while theirs caught up slowly.

The tasks at home had been cut-out by mom. "Clean this", "move that", "prepare this" and on went her frequent orders. The house had been cleaned and decorated. Lights adorned the door. Food items were being prepared. Sadhyev was prepared, a sweetend puri that Kashmiris prepare on Diwali day and distribute it as Prasad to near and dears, thereafter. Gulab jamuns were prepared as well. It was a delectable sweet I just could not resist. I could fight for these little spheres of relish. The Gulab Jamuns had been placed in the kitchen, not to be eaten till the evening pooja was complete. Self-restraint was taught at home, I thought.

As the sun set, the puja muhrat was eagerly awaited. The TV channels had their own muhrat timings, so did pundits that threw up on my Google search(Google, what would I do without you?). We smartly chose a window that fell in most of the muhrat timings, eager to please the gods on this important day. The wait for puja reminded me of the days when I used to eagerly wait for puja to end so that I could go out and burst crackers. Not that the puja stopped me in any way but for causing a halt in my plans to nuke the neighbour's house, unintentionally of course. I missed the feeling that we, as children have towards such festivals. More than anything, it was the delight with which I approached the week of the festival that I missed most. Maybe, I had grown out of that phase or maybe I loved my sinuses too much to subject them to the delightful smoke.

I went out for a bit to buy a few crackers just to appease my sister who wouldn't have it any other way, only to find out that I would have to pay a decent amount to buy a few crackers, an amount that would have fetched me a bag full of crackers in parallel universe. I got back, parked the car and was walking back home when I saw a kid beaming while his father burst crackers near him. This was me, I thought, while I was a little kid. My father used to burst crackers and I used to squeal with joy at a safe distance. Oh, the joy it gave me to witness the lights in the sky. I felt an extended sense of self in that little boy and smiled. My Diwali was already turning out to be a sweet one. Oh, and the gulab jamuns awaited as well.

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous Diwali. Happiness in heart! :)

Peace!

ODE TO THE RASH DRIVER

2013-12-06T13:33:00.001-08:00

Why, oh why, my fellow being, thou drive like that?
Swiveling, speeding and circling like a crazy cat,
Bustling with traffic are these unsteady city roads,
Yet you drive so beautifully, I’d tip my hat.

You choose your directions like you’re here to impress,
If you ever cut into our lane,thank lord, we’re blessed,
The indicators are for mere earthlings like us,
You don’t need them, do you? Such is the finesse

You serve this world with your majestic horn,
The sleeping are awakened and the dead reborn,
The traffic lights have just turned green, my love,
And you wield symphonies behind me, art thou that forlorn?

Do you see a bold white dashed-line?
Does that look like a beautiful design?
You seem to have an eye for detail, oh, the Vinci, you
Why otherwise, in one lane, would you be confined?

Were you laughing somewhere when the traffic rules were made?
Driving like you were in a stunt car parade?
Pulling off stunts we dare not imagine,
You, for one, are a legend of the finest grade.

Driving, for you, might all just be a silly game,
And driving rash might be your claim to fame,
You may think you’re the king of the road, you fool,
But do know this, sarcasm also happens to be my middle name!

Peace. . .

ORDER IN CHAOS

2013-09-15T05:48:00.003-07:00

Streams of thoughts go astray into the wilderness of the mind,

Putting to rest the ill thoughts of redemption behind,

A soldier fights on the frontlines,
A matter of honour in a land disheveled with battle cries.

Thoughts of the past wash down any anxieties he had,
That faint caress of his mother, the sturdy words of his dad,

The memory of his love, the joyful screams of his daughter,
The friends of his past, the incessant fun and the carefree laughter.

The futility of warfare strikes him while he strikes the enemies down,
How ironic, he thinks, lives of many for one infamous symbolic crown.

How the words of a few duplicitous men had led them to this disaster,
Not a life would matter in the days that followed hereafter.

He moves with steady feet albeit a heavy heart,
For the thought that in such wars - at any moment, life may depart,

The battle was now almost over, victory was in sight,
At the cost of so many lives, he thought, something just didn't seem right.

He lunged forward to deliver the kill to one of the last ones,
But stopped short in his stride, beginning to realize what he had done,

What he saw was the image of a child shivering with fear,
Holding his armour close, the child knew death was near.

The rift in the soldiers mind turned into a raging storm,
The soldier for once felt uncertain about the task he performed,

No words of honour would bring back the lives that were lost,
Victory was distasteful if it had come at such a cost.

Knowing now what he had to do, he dropped down to the ground,
Kneeled to the gods with the wisdom he had found,

He let the boy live with all the generosity in his heart,
Feeling he'd known it all along, there is order in chaos, if you only seek to look within.

Peace

ODE TO A COFFEE CUP

2013-08-24T14:04:00.002-07:00

The Board Rooms were gloomy, some people were sad
Projects were pending, deadlines drove them mad

Blood shot eyes stared at papers, to find the trace of a solution
What should have been routine added to their own confusion

So man prayed for an elixir, one that would broaden his frequency
A potion that would the set right, the worst of inefficiencies

God finally thought about the issue, concerned about his children
And created a plant in the finest of his gardens

Coffee is what that beloved plant was fondly named
It was like coffee had the laws of optimization re-framed

For some it opened eyes when they walked through the office doors
For some it lent the sheer courage to learn and explore

For some it relieved stress after a day's activity.
For some the sugar rush surged the channel of creativity

Some preferred it cold, some preferred it hot
The bunch of Coffee drunks, meanwhile, was a happy lot

Some had a cup, some had two, while it seemed like some shot for records
To some, the mere idea of drinking coffee was plain awkward

Some just drank it so they could have a (long) pause
For some, the world without it seemed like a lost cause

Content with his creation, God blessed the plant
And then he made penguins, Hyenas and fire ant.

It was a day when the divine magic unfurled
When God finally said,"Let there be coffee in this world".

Peace :)

THE LIFE THAT WAS- PART 1

2013-05-16T12:43:00.004-07:00

This is a lengthy article, I must warn you but it had to be. You can't fit 4 years of life into a single page but for the purpose of reading it, I shall divide it into two articles.

It all started on 9th September 2009(09-09-09) as Srinivas keeps reminding us of the first day we stepped into college. The journey of my college life had begun. It's interesting how people go into their first year of college thinking they'd miss their college when they'd pass out, that they'd meet their friends years later and mull over how much fun those days were. I never had those thoughts. There were a few reasons for that but as I ventured through the same path day in-day out, as I ate the same inedible canteen food, as I gulped the same rubbery "apparently filtered" water, I started to like this place.

*Le College

The people weren't alien anymore, they had turned into embodied souls though it didn't help if they talked in Telugu around me. I was unfamiliar with the language which brings me to the first and foremost point about the college life: The language Dilemma!

Being a Kashmiri born in Delhi and brought up in Delhi/Mumbai/Hyderabad in bits didn't help my cause. I was foreign to Telugu for a good part of the time I was in Hyderabad. For this I blame my friends at school and FIITJEE for never ever talking in Telugu around me. All I knew was 'ra' and a few swear words here and there(Ironically, for this I blame my school and FIITJEE friends as well :P). I had come to a place where people did not believe in English as a mode of communication. They looked to signify the phrase "In Telugu we trust". Can't blame them, I talked in Hindi in an English medium school in Delhi all the time, the only time I did speak English there was to the Principal regarding something. My classmates were still ok, they conversed with me in English but some lecturers talked in Telugu extensively assuming that everyone understood. I hardly ever told any lecturer not wanting to be singled out (I kept a low profile with professors, it has helped my case immensely). The foreigners(yes ,we had foreigners in our college, though I always wondered why they came here leaving logic behind) meanwhile, had a worse time so I sought solace in that fact. Soon enough I picked up bits of Telugu and now after 4 years I can proudly say that I have reached where I have right now- still close to knowing little of the language. But I do understand some stuff and the puzzled expressions are a thing of the past.

Coming to another aspect of my college life: academics. The electronic circuits intrigued me, fascinated me, stupefied me for a good part of my intermediate education. Come Engineering and that interest started to dwindle. A wonderful lecturer who taught us BEE(Basic Electrical and Electronics), famously called "The Dracula"( I shall not take names here) ruined everything for me. The basic circuits became scary. Transistors turned into monsters and zener diode gave me nightmares of an avalanche breaking down on me. She wasn't that bad a teacher, she was the worst(I'm sure Vivek would disagree). I ran to T.K.V. Nagendra Varma's home the night before the exam and cried for help(more on this unique specimen later). Varma helped me out and I got an 80. How I managed to get that is still a mystery to me. Meanwhile Varma got 95+ and broke an ECE record(Our Electronics guru he is). Well, there you had it, like teacher-like student. The interest was as good as dead and the topics weren't able to revive it. I had dwelled into a different world. Now that the course is almost at its fag end, I still have trouble recalling a few topics. AWP and Analog Communications hit logic highs on my interest curve but apart from that it was a sad logic low all throughout. I can confidently say that if there are some things I will be remembered for, by my classmates, Academics may feature low on that list. Despite Having said that, I have an aggregate of 81.5% :P (Not bragging, I'm still 15th or so in the class, studious people are studious :/)

If there was one thing that I will miss, dearly miss, it would have to be football in the basketball court.

The sacred spot

Sounds peculiar but believe me, it was one of those moments when I felt at peace with the word, with the football at my feet and the shot clear, shoot and GOAL!! There are some downsides of forgetting that you're playing in a 10-metre court, you have to search for the ball endlessly in the bushes that surround the court and you feel like a fool only to be celebrating madly a short while ago. It started with a bunch of people who never played football to a gang that devoured every moment spent kicking the ball in random directions. The ECE vs. Mechanical football matches were like India-Pakistan(I'm over hyping this but they were still electric).

A match made in JNTU

At times we had 16 people in a small court and 8 attacking the ball at once. One of those poker face moments when you do not know whether to stand back and laugh or get into the frenzy and kick to heaven's delight. We had special moments when people slipped, the memorable ones were:

i. Vamiq's epic fall- Into the slippery stagnant waters of the adjoining court.
ii. Srinivas's consistency in falling down every day- Water or no water, falling was his birthright and he didn't fall back in claiming it.
iii. Trevor's acrobatic fall- This was an out of the world fall, describing it wouldn't do justice to the slip.
iv. Varma- The name's enough. He always did something to make us all fall down on the ground and laugh holding our stomachs. Taking header as low as a few cms, heading the ball to the opposition striker when he was the goal keeper, oh, this guy was awesome in providing comic reliefs.
v. Mech vs. ECE- The one prominent thing we guys bonded over was football. The matches were amazing with everyone laughing off the incidents later.

There are too many of them that I don't recall right now but they were epic to say the least. There was also Chota Varma day(March 2nd) which shall be cherished for days to come. Only people who were involved would recall why it was called so. We also had Chota Pavan and Chota Srinivas day, subsequently on the 2nd of two different months. We decided it was a doomed day and were always vigilant if the calendar read the 2nd day of the month. The frequency of football came down drastically after the 3rd year. People hardly attended college due to placements and competitive exams. But we shall return to the land we belong to one fine day and play again.

The next part would be the room I stayed in near the college.

Mera sexy hairstyle aur Akshay ka sexy pyjama :D

It was a hovel as Akshay calls it, a "khandar" if saying so adds to its beauty . I stayed with my roommate Akshay and his grandmother for a good part of the first two years. His grandmother was one of the most caring and genuine people I had met in my life. She isn't with us anymore in this world but Akshay and I still recall her habits and things she did that made us smile. She was like the grandmother I never had. From her advice about life to her recollections about times of her past, we did enjoy most of them. May her soul rest in peace.

Akshay and I have had some of the most memorable times in that room. This place never remained clean. You clean it one moment and it used to be dirty the very next moment. With little ventilation, it was like a boiler tube in the summer. The fan died a couple of times and we revived it. The Cooler failed miserably. There was no scope for an AC somehow. The room, no matter how many times you cleaned it, organized it, set it, dusted it, came back to its original state in absolutely no time. There were innumerable games we played: paper basketball that decided our results or ruined it for that matter, Business, the board game where "Seth-ji" Vivek looted us at will, paper football that was a short lived affair, cricket on the terrace that didn't last long either and a number of card games initially. To add to these would be the completion of NFS: Hot pursuit 2010, Most wanted, Carbon, almost all parts of COD, Moto GP, innumerable seasons of Formula 1, FIFA 10,11,12(Akshay has become a pro by now), pocket tanks, and a lot of other games that left our laptops handicapped with multiple-parts failures but still running by god's grace. This limited our gaming reaches and we spared the top end games for good. Movies and sitcoms were circulated like little pathogens. My laptop still contains a good number of movies I have never watched.

The room led to the invention of a number of dishes(go to the Peanut butter article if you wish to- Peanut Butter Delight), a number of mixed rice recipes, burnt dishes, stuff that stayed in the fridge and turned into something that even a bacteria would refuse to eat. The Wednesday Biryani nights, the curry point, Chinese Noodles wala(I forgot his name again), Gayatri Juice point, AKC with Aakash, Kimshuk, Ajay, Shivam. Ajay's rajma disaster, the roti fiasco, the pop corn fiasco were some of the food disasters that took place in that room. This was a place of many inventions, food or otherwise. There were also a number of other incidents we would not like to report here, for the risk of family audience.

The Pop Corn Fiasco

Apart from college work, I got into a number of things- I played football for the department, only once though as there was more focus on politics and less focus on talent, I wrote a lot for the-hive.in, I was selected as the Cognizant Campus Ambassador,I became a part of Street Cause and HYA that in itself became a part of my identity at college. I recall the only 2 MUNs that I took part in(Manish, I have to give you a special mention for filling my form for both :P),the various fests in different colleges that I ran to, the innumerable friends I made from various colleges, the final trip to Goa that was just amazing to say the least, so many great memories and I'd thought, initially that I wouldn't miss much. That brings me to the end of part 1. If you have survived this long, I salute you. Do read along!

In the next part, I'd like to name the people who were a part of my journey.

Click here for it- Part 2

THE LIFE THAT WAS- PART 2

2013-05-16T12:17:00.003-07:00

Let's throw some light on some of the people around me. In no particular order.

Starting with Tippa Kota Venkata Nagendra Varma

Varma baba on the right

He was a person we did not figure out and we still have our doubts. He did not like partying, he did not like moving in crowded places, he did not attend birthday parties and the like. He liked going to one place in the world and that was home. He changed, thankfully, in the 4 years(some people might debate that). He's troubled me immensely making me walk him to his home, losing my notebooks :P and some other stuff. However, I should thank him for a lot of my marks. People recognize this guy in Kukatpally while he's walking the roads. Everyone just somehow knows Varma- in college, in Kukatpally, in the department. He's one famous chap. This guy lives for Electronics and is a self-prophesied baba. One of the nicest people around. Hope he does great with his MS and works for Intel one day.

Akshay,

The only picture I have with Akshay

First things first, my competition when it comes to laziness. Oh my god, we compounded the laziness at the room. It's in some sort of drunk slumber by now . Well anyway, great guy, crazy about cars and Formula 1. Sticks to his point-of-view no matter what and yes, Jaguar is Tata Jaguar now or was it Indian? :P.. From the late night discussions to the sessions of mad laughter discussing beanshaw were more than just epic. Satyawati and her daughter love you, her daughter in particular. She'll definitely miss you once you move out! :P We both must have contribute a lot to Nizam's business through our Biryani nights. The curry point man will miss us too. Well, all that was fun indeed. I abandoned the room around my CAT exam and I hope you're doing a good job maintaining the pride and aura that place possesses. Oh, lord, the aura, killed me for 3 years. We had some differences in the beginning but eventually I think we were like brothers as Badi Mummy used to say. We've had some kick ass time and I'll really miss the times we had in that god-forsaken kiln of a room.

Seth ji,

How he dragged me to veg restaurants for 4 years

a.k.a Vivek Rank-A, as the name suggests, a lot of 'Vivek' and a lot of 'Rank' associated with this guy. Topper so far and will be most certainly after the result for the final sem are declared, this guy was born with a brain that memorized like a computer. He even knew where the full stops and the commas were, this freak. Talked to him a hell lot during the 4 years about everything in life, had crazy debates with him that became a feature of our 2nd year. Also, I'm thankful to god that this fellow grew some weight, if only a couple of grams since he first came to college. A Jain Marwadi, he's a proper businessman and helped us immensely during the goa trip. Again, a big thank you to him for all the knowledge you imparted to me, that helped me with the aggregate.

Vinay Kumar,

Morning beauties

My CAT buddy, didn't know him that well untill the first year but soon bonded with him over football and Table Tennis. This guy was a part of a number of debates. I found out that he was going for CAT and that helped our cause. Learnt a lot together, laughed a lot together, wrote AIMCATS and laughed off single digits scores sometimes. The pain of getting low scores was alleviated by your company. Had a few fights as well, trivial ones, on the football field mostly :P. This guy is eternall hungy, both for food as well as knowledge. Wants to eat everything that's out there and wants to learn everything that's out there. Inquisitive being. Things intrigue him. I've seen his progress in the last 4 years and it has been nothing short of phenomenal. An eternal traveler, he travels from Vanasthalipuram to any and every part of Hyderabad. Give him his favt bus and a couple of hours and he'll get there.Learnt a lot from him, mainly probability. Thanks a lot for that :P

Manchikanti Naga Praneeth,

A rare picture with Praneeth

or MN Praneeth(I know a lot of Praneeths), well this guy is Vivek's brother when it comes to Academics. Another topper, more like the silent killer. He doesn't give away much, but had the distinction of writing more than 6 answers in almost every exam paper(7 in PTSP, when we all had barely written 2 and were praying to pass). If I'll remember him for something, it'll be that content look on his face after walking out of the exam hall with the dialogue "6 perfect likha" after every exam. He toned it down and wrote 5 answers eventually towards the last few sems after realizing that he may have pissed off some correctors after not getting the desired marks, even after writing a perfect paper. A very quiet and decent guy, probably the most patient amongst us all. Thankful to him as well for a lot of marks before mid exams.

SrinivasSugamanchi,

Phone in hand, in every picture

The first guy I met in my Engineering and the funny part is that he thought I was a foreigner(he still does). He's a very nice guy, always telling us to keep our expectations low. It would be a hard task describing him because I never really wondered what kind of a person he was, he was just there, never making a fuss. He has stories about his intermediate life that sadden us :P.. Strongly built, He loves to beat the shit out of Vivek and I love to see the show. Passionate about Cricket, he loves to keep talking of Tendulkar(I guess, his favt player). He's been responsible for a few injuries while playing football and he's slipped and fallen down innumerable times. He just loves falling down(so much so that he slipped while rain-dancing during our farewell and more or less sealed his reputation). Another nice guy, he's going to be a Net-Cracker soon, I wish him good luck with his career.

Pavan Kumar,

Pavan(white shirt) and I can't look good everytime :P

Another guy whom I met a little late in my colg life, did not know much about him in the first year but talked a lot to him in the second year. Got to know of his interests which were many and one of his interests which involved too many :P [if you know what I mean ;)]. He's a rapper/poet/writer/singer and has made us proud with one of his rap. Sharing it would not be possible as it contains some really thought provoking lyrics. A very stylish guy, he keeps trying out clothes and keeps asking "Acha lagra kya?" and laughing all the same. Always learning vocab with Vinay, I still remember our bus rides and his longing for new words. Hope you'll become a dictionary in the years to come :D

Nithin Kumar and Nithin Kumar(Kale and Male, roll no. 17 and 18) - It was not possible for me to separate you people because only two G's can separate you both- God and Goa :P.
The first Nithin or C.R. as we fondly call him,

The only sane picture of us

man, this guy is a legend. If you had ever walked into our class and see a guy walking slowly with a phone stuck to his ear for a long time, that'd probably be him. He is my father when it comes to laziness. Always ready at the last instant, waking up for as late as I did, and laid-back, this guy is just the definition of "too cool about things". He joined me for a part of my CAT expedition and I heard a number of stories about his life. A very nice guy, eternally hungry for kebabs and biryani.

The second Nithin,

The paash bwooys Volume 1

our very own 'bottu', famous for his artwork on the forehead in the first few years, strong person, always trying to have fun, bunking off, playing Table Tennis, enjoying most of the time. Inadvertently, I realized, you subliminally initiated a lot of our bunks to movies :P Famous with Devender sir and benefitting immensely from that, this guy managed a good score in Physics when we were left sulking in 60s. Nice guy but with a short temper, he's lost it a couple of times but he does come around eventually. Going for his MS abroad, hope you work in Intel too and land in the top 5% of the class like you did in your SOP( pun intended :P)

Shiva Kumar,

Goa and Shiva- A love story untold

This guy is very organized in his head. He does things that he wants to do, irrespective of anything. Headstrong would be the word for him. Did not really talk to him as much as I did with others in these 4 years but he'll definitely leave a mark. Leading whenever required and coming from a background that he does, he's risen leaps and bounds from the boy he was in school(Yes I remember that story :P). Computer Networks expert, I'll see him around at Deloitte.

Hari "David" Krishna,

HARI- The floating David :P

I call him David based on the Goa trip experience. As I did tell him, I had a few differences with him in the initial years but that vanished away in the years that followed. A fun guy to be around, he keeps joking all the time and I don't think I'll ever talk serious stuff with him(except for that 1 hour long talk in Goa). This guy keeps falling and having injuries and he's currently nursing a fractured finger. Big fan of Patha Hotel and Muntha masala(if that is what it is called) :P.

Dominic,

Dominic, just being himself

he deserves a special mention here as he's been writing exams with me for the past few years. If I said Nithin was cool, Dominic, sometimes would put Nithin to shame. Foreigners generally came 15 mins late to exams, Dominic beat them to it by coming as late as 30 mins sometimes. People completed their dinners and Dominic began his. Fun guy, never feels bad about anything. He is what he is, literally. Have had never-ending debates with this guy that never end because he doesn't budge from his point of view. I'll miss his amazing kicks while playing football(I hope you people get sarcasm :P).

Apart from these people are other people whom I've not talked to extensively but shared great memories with. The organizing of Business quiz with Azhar and Niloufar and also that lunch at Hotel Alpha, the millions of print outs of Bhandari sir's room with Pallavi, study and inspirational sessions with Akhila, labs with Hyma and Swapna, discussions with Raziya topper, that discussion with Ritu about some legends before freshers, Project with Nawaf, Varma and Karthik god, Sumanth and his meditation, time spent with the hostellers on particular days when I came to the hostel, Raj, Prem, Rahul, Meghnath, Bhargav, Maharshi, Shankar, Ramki, Sanath, PS, Dharma, Riyu and the gang. The other girls of our class too, Vishnu Priya, Nitya, Meghana, Bhavana, Anusha, Monika, Kranthi, Soumya, Tanveer, Tejaswini, Indraja, Soumya, Subhashini, Reshma, Shobha and all the people I may have just missed. All my foreigner buddies Crystal, Amir, Ehsaan, Majid, Ismail, Ahmed, Mahmoud, Nawaf, Abdalla, Abdul, Hussam.

The Farewell

Also, all the friends from the various departments, juniors and parallels, the Street Cause team, the friends from my own department, there are so many of you, and I might miss some if I start naming you people. But I hope you all get the essence and understand that you have contributed to what I am today. It's time for me to leave college and move on to other things but I will miss this place. It has been a place that has taught me a lot of things. And I shall remember this place and the various people I met along this wonderful journey, deep within my heart.

Some memorable moments

It was a life that was, and it was a life that was mine,
and I shall cherish that life, carved within this rhyme! :')

Peace!

LET THE ANGER SUSTAIN. LET IT SUSTAIN TILL JUSTICE IS RECEIVED

2012-12-19T08:59:00.001-08:00

How often has it happened that you sit with such unending anger at the day to day happenings and you feel you can't take charge and do something about it. I would state it publicly, if I were to meet the people who were responsible for the gang-rape of the poor Delhi girl, I'd kill them with my bare hands. Reading about the crime, even imagining what those monsters did fills me up with utter contempt. Have we come to be a part of such a society? Is this even a society? And even more appalling are the things said by the Delhi police blaming the girl for the rape. According to them, if you lure a man by wearing revealing clothes, you were responsible for the crime. So the man goes scot free? It's not his fault, he's a rape machine ready to lay his hands on any girl who wears revealing clothes on the road! I don't think it is the dress that decides or prompts a man to carry such an inhuman action. And these are the words of our protectors. To put some logic into this man's head, it is Delhi we're talking of. The winter is chilling, a woman cannot wear revealing clothes even if she wanted to. Trying to refute his logic, I feel like a child stooping to his level of stupidity. A woman is to be blamed! Wow sir, you are more narrow minded than a person living in the dark ages who still might have better cognitive functioning.(Read more: http://www.firstpost.com/living/from-the-delhi-police-six-reasons-why-women-deserve-to-be-raped-269957.html)

The demand for capital punishment would set an example that would deter men from turning into monster but are we really addressing the problem that way? We live in a patriarchal society, it's a man's world. No amounts of feminist explanations can change the view I have. It's not something I'm proud of one bit but to an extent, inside everyone knows the harsh reality and I've seen and heard things that more than confirm this. A woman once stigmatized cannot lead a happy life in our society as I've observed. A man who goes around living on his whims may be categorized as "straying from his path" but a women doing the same would certainly be called "wrong", "characterless", and other things I'd not like to mention. With this in mind, the girl works hard to earn a name, to settle into a home and lead a happy life with her partner but one incident can change your life forever. For that poor Delhi girl, that was that very unfortunate instant. Narrating the experience would make any person shocked with horror. Where does that leave us? Should a woman not go out at all? Should she abandon her dreams and sit at home, she might not even be safe at home for that fact. ( https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151209606221687&set=a.353289441686.153693.284735031686&type=1&theater). Of late there have been a million suggestions that have been made to try these culprits, some of them are as follows:

-Capital Punishment
-Life imprisonment
-Castration(physical or chemical)

Capital punishment is a very difficult proposition. The world is moving away from the concept with India as one of the few places where it still occurs. Pratibha Patil in her term pardoned 30 rapists and some of these were highly volatile cases, some of them just inexplicably horrible. The rapists aren't scared because they know that the public furore will die in some time but the case will elongate beyond that. Days ago, the case of Sonali Mukherji caught steam and the public demanded action against the accused. Anyone remotely even has the case in mind now? Public furore over one particular is a temporary phenomenon, Anna Hazare, Arushi murder case, Ajmal Kasab's hanging; all these issues lie in the minds of the people for as long as the media endorses them but even they know that we have a short lived memory of such cases. A very hard but true fact.

The Chemical Castration maybe a very fitting punishment. Castrate them and let them live on to be reminded every day of the crime they committed. But even this would draw the ire of the Human Rights as inhuman despite the inhuman actions of the perpetrators themselves. This may not be a viable solution as it is referred to as 'inhuman' by Amnesty international (Read more why here: http://www.firstpost.com/india/delhi-rape-case-will-castration-prove-to-be-an-effective-deterrent-562838.html) The convicts may at maximum be sentenced to life imprisonment. Any method of torture that people said should be carried out may never happen. The government are a civilized bunch of people or at least they'd say so. The punishment is not the only thing to deter such heinous crimes.

What we really need is fast track courts that can sentence the convicts on hard proof, better security at night with vigilant police protection in isolated areas. Strict punishments for eve teasing and crimes that involve misbehavior with women. Spreading awareness about the laws that protect women.( Read here: http://www.legalindia.in/rape-laws-in-india). The men who are educated and know their boundaries will not carry such a crime. The chances are very slim that such a thing occurs. An uneducated man who has not had an idea of right or wrong may do the wrong thing. The chances are very high. Impart education in schools, we're a country who pray to Godesses. We call our country "Bharat mata" and yet this is the irony of the situation. Allow anonymity of the victim(As per U/s 228A of Indian Penal Code) and punish the criminals. Do not let them go charge free. This behaviour only encourages. The situation is sad as long as it occurs with someone else. It is disastrous if it happens to someone you know.

We have our sisters, friends, daughters who travel to school, work and parties. With no fear of being caught, the cases have proliferated.. Demand punishment for the accused. Educate the coming generations to respect women. Let the anger sustain. Let it not die. This madness has to end. It just has to!

DHONI, THE ENGLAND SERIES AND A DEJECTED INDIAN FAN

2012-12-18T03:17:00.002-08:00

I don't usually voice my opinion over Cricket, in fact I never have but now that I start to pen down this article, I do so with rage over the events of the past few days and the reactions to them that have more than appalled me to no end. To put it in simple terms: India were outplayed comprehensively and this occurred at home which made it all the more hurtful. There's nothing like a loss on your home turf, your fortress, perhaps the fortress has been breached. The attack might inevitably be, the first of many to come. There are a few key aspects that need to be touched and probably analyzed extensively as to what caused this fiasco and where to look from this point onwards.

What exactly happened in this series?

Most of us are actually still wondering as to what hit us, how did we lose a home series? This started off as a redemption series and ended as a sorrowful tale of adding insult to injury and probably some MDH laal mirch masala to the wounds, they had added salt back in England itself. Back in England, India were battered, to put it as politely as you could. Except for Dravid, I think there was no other player who stood against their attack except the occasional knock here and there. There seemed to be something lacking: fight. The batsmen just couldn't fight back. But this series ensured that the players would long to restore their pride, their bruised egos by setting things right and there was only one way to do so: A clean sweep at home. It started off in grand fashion with the Ahemadabad test victory. Dravid was gone, no Laxman either. And in came the Saurashtra lad-Pujara who rose to the occasion and made it count. Things looked good in the first match, the variations worked for Ojha and Ashwin and the partnership looked lethal(Like times when Bhajji and Jumbo rocked oppositions). England lived up to their reputation of being clueless in the sub continent.The English middle order looked shaky and the Indians probably made premature misjudgements about the middle order(Almost each of these bugger went on to score a century). Everyone was overjoyed. India had drawn first blood. But there was something that stood between India and England-Captain Cook. He showed amazing fight and would eventually turn out to be the difference between the 2 sides.

The next match had a pitched that turned square. Shane Warne style. When the trio of Bhajji, Ashwin and Ojha should have rocked the opposition and put them on the back foot, the opposition rocked Indian bowlers out of the park and the spectators into deep slumber. The spinners took wickets at painfully long intervals and that cost us the game. Also to be appreciated is the fact is that Swann and Monty took 19 wickets between them and India were bowled out for a lowly 142 in the second innings(less than Pieterson's individual knock of 186 in the first innings, maximum insult guaranteed). What was the difference? The English batted with a positive intent to score runs and the indisciplined bowling only helped their cause. Cook scored his second ton of the series to stamp his authority. Ashwin tried too many variations. The occasional leg side delivery helped them get singles and ease the pressure. That is where Monty and Swanny succeded, they bowled in one area consistently choking the singles and forcing the batsmen to drive. Result: The batsmen fell to good deliveries. Swann's pitch map looked more like a small nest of red dots and Ashwin's looked like a 2 year old had got hold of a gun and fired at the target. He was just all over the place. With things evenly poised we headed for the third match.

The story was absolutely dismal here. Nothing much needs to be talked about. Cook came good, yet again and India's woes with him continued. With India batting in the third innings, a good total was needed to challenge England and sadly India went from 86-0 to 122-6. This needed some seriously horrible batting and that is what we got. Sehwag had space for a minivan between his bat and pad, Gambhir made Pujara his second run-out victim after Sehwag in the first innings, Kohli drove on the up and gave away his wicket and the rest followed suit. If it hadn't been for Ashwin's 91, India would have had an innings defeat. What worse than an innings defeat at home? There was no fight to add to it. England needed just 41 runs, they came out casually throwing away easy wickets to tease India with Bell eventually having to get his pads on when he'd probably have been posting the victory status on twitter.

The fourth test had a different story, India fought back on a very difficult track but couldn't capitalize. Searching for runs seemed like a task of searching for water on a narrow cliff in a waterless desert with vultures looming to consume you if you lost balance. When India needed to bowl the English batsmen out for a low score in the second innings, they could only manage one wicket from the final day's play to bury hopes in a coffin deep within the deepest seas. With the way England batted, It could have taken 3 more days to even bowl them out. The umpiring was the worst I have seen in recent times. Dharmasena missed straight chances that were out and gave Cook and Compton out when the ball was a good distance from the bat. Pujara too did not look out, who knows, the match might have been different had that not happened. Cricket, after all, is a game of endless probabilities and possibilities.

If you don't bat well, you need to bowl really well to make up for it. If you don't bowl well, you have to get an extremely high total to provide some leeway for your bowlers. India did neither in a good part of the series. They just never seemed to have enough runs. And even if they had them, they needed to take 20 wickets to win a match which they did only on one occasion. The indiscipline in bowling by the seamers and spinners helped England score heaps of runs.
In a head to head we see a few differences
Total runs scored by England-2201
Total runs scored by India-1901.
The difference isn't strikingly large but do appreciate the fact that India set shoddy targets on 2 occasions and England's tally could have been higher had they batted first instead.

In the bowling department, the numbers are surprising. England took 55 wickets in all and so did India but what separated the two were the averages and strike rate of the bowlers. India bowled more overs and with a high number of overs, the runs came on piling. England were the better prepared side and outplayed in all three departments.

The series was a wakening call for 2 reasons- first that we played spin like we'd woken up to be natives of a different country altogether,secondly we bowled spins like weak, out-of-subcontinent teams. Effectively we screwed up on both counts.

Should Dhoni be sacked?

A lot of fuss has been made about Dhoni's captaincy. People who think that he is not a good captain, he lacks skills, he is not able to stratergize, have grown exponentially in the past one year and there have also been a number of questions being raised about his technique. To answer them one by one, first things first: Dhoni is not a bad captain at all. A captain can set a field and ask his bowlers to bowl to that field. Would you blame him for the fours that the opposition hit? For the mis-fields? For the bowlers giving away free runs down the leg side? A captain may have a rough patch but can he be blamed for batsmen falling one by one in line? The answer is NO. He cannot be singled out. He may have made a few strategic errors in the past games and have had a lean patch but to single him out and arraign him apart from his counterparts because he is the captain would be as good as blaming the captain of a sinking ship for the holes in the ship floor. It seems to Indian fans, that you win as a team and lose as a captain. Kohli, Sachin and Yuvi were abysmall. Sehwag, apart from the 117 knock scored 136 runs in the remaining 6 innings(An average around 23 runs per innings) and looked technically more unsound than probably, Ashwin. Gambhir was inconsistent and prodded at too many outside off. Ojha bowled well throughout the series. Ashwin was in T20 mode perhaps, trying too many things at once. He batted well thought, infact he had the 2nd best average in the Indian camp, hardly surprising the way others batted. The others were average. What made Indian bowling seem worse was the way England bowled amplifying the criticism manifold. However, this again does not point a finger at Dhoni. His frustration on the field clearly shows that he wanted desperately to win, putting to rest the notions that he plays only for money.This is a man who's given us enough to cheer about but as I've come to know in Indian cricket, the one wrong that you do overpowers 100s of rights that you have toiled for in the country's interest. To talk of Dhoni's record: Out of the 43 tests that Dhoni has captained India, he has won 20, lost 12 and drawn 11. Not a bad record. What makes it seem bad is that 10 of those 12 defeats have come in the past 1 year. Maybe the law of averages caught up with him. This is actually a pretty good record as compared to the others but then again I'm here to talk absolutes and I'd leave the comparisons to your better judgement.

The Criticism and Flurry of Changes: A wise call?

There has been wide criticism over everything that happened. Speculations are rife that Dhoni might be sacked from the Indian captaincy. That he may even be dropped from the squad. Before that happens, I think the board should take a good look at individual performances and judge people on merit. Kohli had a bad series, yuvi was out of sorts, Sachin had a tally that he would be appalled to look at. Sehwag and Gambhir together did not give the start India would have wanted. Sehwag, in particular has been very inconsistent. The board might take a few harsh decisions in a flurry and they would dent the side permanently. To act rash and sack a few people based on the sentiment of the masses would be stupid to say the least. Giving the captaincy to a young player may have its own repercussions. The board should sit down and chalk out a plan for the long term instead of making short terms tweaks which brings us to the final aspect!

Where to from here?

Damage control is what the board needs to do right now. Plug the holes, selectors, don't sack the poor captain. Release the players who are out of form into the Ranji circuit and let them work on their game for some time. This would give them some perspective and the much needed temperament. Give them a county season to prepare them for the conditions abroad. This would do wonders as it did to Sachin, Dravid and Laxman for a good part of thier career there(all 3 played county). Zaheer who came back after a stint with Worcestshire literally won them the series in 2008-09(Read more at http://forbesindia.com/blog/grandstand/why-have-indians-stopped-playing-county-cricket/#ixzz2FOx1wexm). Why the BCCI stopped this practice of county and actually rebutted 4 internationals from going to play county is beyond my understanding. Probably taken England for granted? If you want to be the best you need to play in challenging conditions and embrace them. Not play on turning tracks all your life and look like a chicken ready to be slaughtered when you go abroad. A season abroad will help immensely. Just like IPL has exposed other teams to Indian conditions for 5 years on the trot now.

Do not give a place to players based on reputation. A player is as good as how he performs in a test match. The past record doesn’t earn him a place, his immediate form does. It is not about personal glory after all, it's about the team. A rotation policy with back up openers and immediate replacement for out of form middle order batsmen might be in order. An immediate assessment of the bowling department is critical. We need good quality seamers who can bowl for many matches at a stretch and not get bundled by injuries. A rotation of these bowlers to avoid injuries is a must. We don't want pacers to get injured and return to be as fast as spin bowlers(if you know what I'm getting at). India has always faltered when it has been too reliant on a single seamer, Zaheer being one of them for the past many series. His lack of form had a big role to play in the series as well. The coaches need to work with the players and let them play their natural game. The spinners, for me did a decent job. A little more discipline would do wonders. Ashwin is turning out to be a very handy batsman but he should concentrate on his bowling more than anything, probably get out of trying too many things and stick to the basics.

Also, of Late, a lot of talk has been made about the fact that Sachin should retire. That he should retire or not is his decision. No one can force him or tell him what to do. To ask him to retire would be to belittle him and make a mockery of his achievements. If you feel he is not in form, drop him, but raising talks about his retirement hardly seems fair. Give the man some respect, he's done a lot for the country. Don't give him freebies, he's a man of substance, he shall earn his place if he wishes to.

As a devout Indian fan, I sit in despair at the irrelevant and unnecessary criticism that is being meted out by the people and the media. To make matters worse, the local media has actually taken up issues of sacking players, sacking the captain, asking Sachin to retire and other irrelevant issues when it should back the players and try to offer constructive solutions for the future of the Indian side. There is a public outcry whenever we lose a match and people go overboard with their own expert advice to sack this player and ask that player to retire. I see other teams of the world and the way their fans back them up in bad times and it makes me cringe at our situation. This makes me feel in hindsight that we have not supported our previous players enough, many careers have ended due to harsh decision carried out with little logic behind them. Many people are yet to receive their due from Indian cricket. I shall not take names because the names are aplenty. All we can do is support the team in its pursuit and hope that all shall be back to normal again. As an optimist, I shall wait for that day and we shall cheer "GO INDIA" from the stands, from our TV rooms, perhaps even fully from our hearts again and see the team rise like a phoenix in its full glory.

Peace. . . .

stats coutesy: http://stats.espncricinfo.com

THE DARK SIDE

2012-11-25T00:59:00.000-08:00

Far beyond the world we see,

Far above these lands and seas,

A deep breeze flows over a cataclysmic space,

Unreached and unearthed it seeks solace.

Beyond the imagination of the brightest minds,

Leaving all the worldly logic behind,

Lies a corner of little wishes and desires

Set ablaze with wings of fire.

Thoughts as deep as these colossal oceans,

Hazy memories play in rusty motions,

Long to touch that star studded sky,

For once to escape these earthy lies.

A mind that mulls in retrospect,

At a world that seemed to be perfect,

At how close it seemed and undeniably was,

Shattered by misapprehensions with no apparent sense of loss.

It is now that this mind seems lost,

Out of things that once mattered most,

Only to find a way back into that world,

Despite the silent shudders of massive swirls.

Sometimes the things you see not real,

There are things that you may not feel,

The light at the end of the tunnel may not give you what you look for,

Sometimes the answers lie right behind you, in the darkness!

A NEW SUN SHALL RISE

2012-08-24T13:53:00.002-07:00

A new sun rose at the offset of another dusk
The one that set had enchanted the soul

The tree had been subjugated in captivity
Beset by troubles from all ends, the tree lay aggrieved

The tree had once been a mere sapling
Aspiring and avowing to grow into a big green tree

The dream hadn't been one which came along easy,
And the tree was lured by the other trees in the vicinity

They told him emblazoned tales of the sky high up above
The scented wind that swept past them satiating the innermost desires

The tree was just beginning to stand on its feet
When the hell broke loose and the rain unleashed its wrath

The tree struggled but with valour it fought,
The tree had trudged through somehow

But the battle had only just began,
When the sun unleashed its fury on the horizon

Bereft of all sanity, the tree languished as days went on
Beleaguered he stood on all sides there were

The tree stood still and never lost hope,
That one day he'd win, he'd grow high and tall

The tree grew slowly but surely, it strived hard to do so
Against all odds, he had to believe and he did

When one day he noticed that he'd grown tall,
The horizon sure looked beautiful from the top

He could feel the scented breeze flowing by,
The birds to him seemed to be celebrating his joy

This is when he plundered in deep contemplation,
At how he had failed to realize he was growing

He had overlooked all just to make it through,
He had hoped against all hope to survive

The sun seemed to smile at him now,
The rain just ignited the spirits inside

What he finally realized put him at peace,
That the sun and the rain had never meant to hurt

They only meant to make him strong and unbreakable,
The dawn had never looked more beautiful

Peace

THE BOY WHO COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH

2012-07-14T14:19:00.004-07:00

He had just moved from the dusty by lanes of Delhi to Mumbai, the city that never sleeps. It did sleep, he soon found out, well at least most of it did back then. His father had had a transfer. Delhi had been a good place to live in. There was the rickshaw that took him to school every day, the teachers who adored him, the canteen where he collected his He-man action figures(with a scented eraser within) and the group of friends who lived like there was no tomorrow. The previous statement may have been misleading about the boy's age. Our little champion had just celebrated his 7th birthday. Life was about to experience a change. Change is always good, he thought. And it turned out to be quite a life altering one.

Mumbai was different for different reasons. People were not as close knit as they were back in Delhi. No one took a keen interest in your life though that did not mean that people weren't friendly. That homely feeling that the boy had when he was at Delhi was missing. Mumbai seemed foreign for time being. Everyone was busy making a living. Life was fast and you had to keep up. But that was for the big boys. He was more interested in how life was under the radar. He made many friends in building he resided in. Cricket was still played on a daily basis, one thing that did not change from back in Delhi. The boy was beginning to settle in finally.

To shed light on one part of the boy's academic abilities- he was a good student who vehemently despised mathematics. He was good at written English but speaking it was still a daunting task. As Hindi was his choice of communication in Delhi, he had never spoken to anyone in English at length. Technologically too, the scene wasn't particularly good back then and the only English he learnt was the little he had learnt at school.

Soon, the boy stepped into a new school, made new friends and thus began a new chapter in his life. It was a day-school and the boy returned home in the evening. Coping in class was a difficult task for him. The teacher spoke in fluent English and the boy found it hard to comprehend everything. He was slow at grasping so much English at once. Result- he rarely took down notes and did not understand much of what was going on. Mathematics had never seemed more monstrous. The boy hated numbers, oh lord he did. He could not talk to anybody. It was an English medium school and talking in Hindi/Marathi was scoffed at by children.

Days went by and he discovered that 2 more like him in the classroom suffered from a similar problem. That of not being able to understand exactly what was going on due to poor English speaking and interpreting skills. Friendship was only natural as their struggle with English united them further. Enemy's enemy is an ally. The boy was like a Darsheel who had descended from "Taare Zameen Par" spending most of his time looking out of the window or the door, whichever he was closer to. Isolation had been accepted now. That did not deter our 3 musketeers from talking. They talked in Hindi all day long. Classes went on and the boy finally lost interest in what was going on in the class. He was in a world of his own by now.

The unit tests were nearing and his mother stepped up to the occasion. She asked him what had been taught in class so far and he had absolutely no idea. "Nai malum mujhe", he uttered with extreme honesty. The curriculum was different from that in Delhi so he needed to work harder. His mother scrutinized his diary thoroughly to understand what had been done so far. She took up the challenge and taught him how much ever she could before the unit test. The boy memorized the answers without actually bothering too much about which question they belonged to. The unit tests arrived and the boy spread magic with his answers. He had forgotten which answer belonged to which question so he mixed answers at ease in every exam. Our little creative genius had outdone himself. Completely content with his exam paper, he always turned in the answer papers with a smile. Math exam was his undoing though. He did not smile that day. The numbers looked ominous and he did his best to solve what he could. He submitted the exam paper, albeit with a melancholy expression.

Exams were done. It was time to celebrate or was it? The teachers had evaluated the paper in only 2 days time and this called for a celebration of a totally different kind. The corrected answer sheets were distributed in class and the boy was aghast. He had done better than the other 2 musketeers though but mediocrity was not a choice he could settle for. He carefully hid the few papers he did not want to show to his mother into a notebook. He showed 2 papers to his mother and explained how he had messed up the question numbers in both the exams and secured less marks. The other papers were carefully hidden in a discreet location at home. A few days went by and a notification for a parent teacher meeting to discuss the ward's performance was sent home. Helpless, the boy showed all the answer sheets that very day to be scolded by both his parents alike for not showing them within time.

The day of the parent teachers' meeting arrived and he sat quietly in one corner of the car with neatly combed hair. Dressed for the kill. They reached the classroom and the first thing the teacher uttered after meeting his parents was "He's very shy. Very quiet. Doesn't interact with other children at all. There is no interaction with the teacher either. This will not help. Is he facing any difficulty with the language?". His father asked him rhetorically "You have a problem in speaking English?", knowing too well what the answer was. The boy kept listening to all that the teacher had to utter with red cheeks and red ears. No he wasn't blushing, it happened to him when he was embarrassed. He walked out of the class with his parents and his dad confronted him with all the anger. "English bolni nai ati kya thik se? Toh bola kyu nai mummy ko? Suna kya bola teacher ne? Agar English nai sikhi toh main is building se utha ke phek dunga agli baar" (The throwing from the building expression scared the hell out of the little boy. He knew, of course, that his dad would never do it but this wasn't the time to think). The boy simply nodded. They went home and this was the time the little boy seriously contemplated what he had to do to improve.

In the coming weeks, he showed amazing determination and learnt all that he could with the help of his mother. Speaking English fluently was still a concern but he was working on it. By the next Parent Teachers' meeting, he had shown fair progress leaving the teachers little to complain about. Math scores were still abysmally low and this was something his father had learnt to live with. A few months down the line, the boy was now speaking in English, not so fluently though but he was getting there.

The boy never looked back since then. He went on to win essay writing competitions, wrote meaningful poetry, participated in public speaking and gave presentations. Ironically enough, he even gave a presentation on importance of English and Communications once, to his classmates. English was his nemesis and he did overcome it eventually. Surprisingly enough, the boy improved drastically at mathematics too and now enjoys the company of numbers. He never looked back ever since and the same boy is writing this article, smiling to himself at how much life has changed since then and thankful at the same time that he was never thrown down from that building. "Change is a good thing", he used to think and he still believes on the same lines :)

Peace