MY URBAN KVETCH

Dealing With the Mother's Day's Motherlode, Now That Our Mothers Are Gone

2013-05-12T10:36:48-07:00

Possibly one of the worst ideas for a Mother's Day card ever. We all know what happened to Bambi's mother, right?

Isn't Mom the Bomb? 82 Ways to Tell Mom You Love Her. Don't forget about Mom! It's Mom's turn. Mother's Day offer! Make Mom feel special. Treat Mom to the dinner she deserves! What mom really wants. Ready to Party Like a Mother? Tell your mother you love her. Make sure Mom gets the message. - subject headers from emails received mid-April to mid-May

Mother’s Day is here again, which is great for most people whose mothers are still alive. But for those of us who have lost our mothers, this holiday presents an onslaught of media messages urging us to reach out to someone who we can no longer touch.

“I was overwhelmed by the onslaught of Mother's Day displays in stores, radio commercials and especially those pull-at-the-heart strings attempts to convince people to buy flowers, cell phones, and clap-on lighting devices,” said Rebecca Soffer, an independent producer and writer in New York whose mother died in a car accident in 2006.

Bex Schwartz, a New York-based creative director who lost her mother "relatively suddenly" in April 2010, spends the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day in what she describes as “a state of fury. That first year, all the omnipresent Mother's Day shit made me sad. But now every time I see an ad or get an email telling me to shower my mother with love (and gifts) I just get angry.”

"When you don't have a mother, suddenly it seems like the entire world does." remembers Soffer. That first year, she joined a friend's family for brunch, but "as lovely as they all were, all I could think of was how uncomfortable, and even angry, I felt among them."

Time makes the pain different in its depth or sharpness, but doesn’t erase it. “I am tired of people telling me that, now that I have a daughter, Mother's Day will no longer be sad for me,” said Shannon Sarna Goldberg, NYC-based food-writer and blogger who gave birth to her daughter Ella last year. “True, this is the first Mother's Day in 15 years where I feel like I have something to do other than be annoyed and sad and generally brooding. But to say that the presence of a child (or any additional relationship) will negate the loss of one's mother shows a lack of understanding of what it means to be motherless, and a lack of recognition of the sanctity about what our moms mean to each us.”

The first few years are predictably rocky, as the shift happens from omnipresent-but-innocuous Hallmark holiday and excuse for family gatherings to a wrenching reminder of what has been lost. “I was in too much pain; it was easier to try to shut down the meaning of Mother's Day because I was an only child and my father was in too much pain to ask me to remember her with him,” Soffer remembers. “I ended up talking a long walk along the Hudson at the end of the day, far away from restaurants, Duane Reade card displays, and, most importantly, families.” But after a few years, she missed acknowledging a day with so many memories attached. “I decided to try out ways to feel connected with my mother instead of expending so much energy ignoring her.”

In trying to cope with Mother's Day, the challenge is to synthesize our losses within the construct of larger society, while this day-with-capital-D goes on around us, punctuating our landscape with signs of celebratory sales and elaborate floral arrangements. So we search out ways to remember.

Soffer, whose newest project, modernloss.com, is designed to help GenX and GenY cope with loss, takes the opportunity to celebrate people who remind her "of my mom's loving, supportive and optimistic spirit." She sends flowers to some of her mother's best friends thanking them for being honorary mothers. "This always comes as a wonderful surprise to them, and I'm always surprised by how happy it makes me." As her own friends now have children, "I can celebrate them as well." She also makes donations to organizations and causes she associates with her mom: "the museum she worked at in Philadelphia, a micro-lending site supporting women in need of surgeries in developing countries, anything related to women's education."

“I have found that there is a shroud of discomfort around the departed, when in fact they're still very much metaphorically alive and in our midst,” observes Adeena Sussman, a food writer, recipe developer and chef. “Just saying her name and talking about her, things she did, funny things she said, makes me really happy instead of weighing down the day.” The date of Sussman’s mother’s funeral in 2006 would also have been her mother’s 62nd birthday; every year, instead of “sitting around moping, I hold a raucous cocktail party. I host all my friends and family at my house, serve her favorite foods and mix her favorite drinks: Tom Collinses and Manhattans.”

Sussman also finds another way to remember her mother, who “loved nothing more than feeding others”: holding a bake sale to support new ovarian cancer support groups provided by Sharsheret, a cancer support community based in Teaneck, NJ. “What started as an on-the-fly bake sale that my sister, Sharon, and I pulled off in 2 days in 2009 has morphed into a multi-city bake sale, Pies for Prevention, that sells Thanksgiving desserts to support Sharsheret. We have a blast baking together for days on end, using our Cuisinart mixers just like mom used to.”

Melanie Notkin, the entrepreneur/founder behind lifestyle brand SavvyAuntie.com, remembers when she was four years old, putting on her big rubber boots, as her mother supervised. “I can’t wait to turn five!” she exclaimed, proud of her achievement. And her mother responded – “rather disappointingly to me then, ‘Don’t wish your life away.’” Notkin’s mother had been seriously ill a few years earlier, and had emerged from that illness. Although her mother passed away about 18 years later – a number symbolizing life in the Jewish tradition – Notkin’s mother’s lesson has “carried me through every struggle in my life since, enabling me to put on those shoes and go on with my day, no matter how dark that day or no matter how much I wanted another day I'd been wishing for to finally come," she recalls.

"I am not where I expected to be at 44, still single, not a mother myself," Notkin reflected. "But on Mother’s Day, I will honor her, now 24 years gone, by appreciating the second life God gave her and the life she gave me by remembering to live my life fully as it is - not how I wished it would have been. My mother enabled my independence, which enabled her to mother me even after she was gone. Her lesson made me appreciate my role as my nephew’s and nieces’ Auntie Melanie, a gift I am grateful for every single day, not one of which I ever wish away.”

As for me? My mother, who died in May 2011, is still a daily presence and a figure in my life; she's just a little noncorporeal right now. So to remember her, I remind my friends to call their mothers. I’ll call or message my sisters-in-law, maybe talk to my nieces and nephews, and if that doesn’t feel like enough, I have any number of friends and relatives, with and without kids, who could benefit from a wish of goodwill, Mother’s Day-related or otherwise. I’ll light a yahrzeit candle (and then again for Shavuot) because the light reminds me simultaneously of my mother’s absence and altered, but still real, presence. I cleaned my closet, which my mother would certainly have considered a Mother's Day present. I wear her jewelry, which always gets comments from people, as well as my Neshama Project hamsa, which I got from a friend to mark the end of my first year of mourning. And I’ll write, in memory of my mother the writer, who – even as her typing strength waned - wrote a book that she referred to, in her writing process, as “visiting with my parents.”

Whatever we do to remember – writing, spending time with children, acknowledging supportive influences around us, or sipping cocktails and trading bon mots from our mothers – continues their act of creation, enabling their words and energy to live beyond their lifetimes and acknowledging the debts we owe to them for the decades they spent raising us. It is because of our mothers that we can engage in the act of recollection and in the act of living our lives and pursuing the happiness that they wanted for us.

In asking my "sisters-in-loss" about their mothers, I like to think that we are beginning to form a collective of memory, a community that both commemorates our loss and celebrates our memories. And as we birth creativity in any of its forms, we connect our acts to those previous generations, and in particular, to the mothers who brought us into the world, and sustained us, and brought us to this season.

Our culture reminds us to remember them on Mother’s Day. But we don’t need the reminders, because we keep them with us, always.

Dedicated to our mothers, Shulamit Englander Kustanowitz, Margaret Ruth Notkin, Shelby Rosenberg, Marie Sarna, Leslie Fleisher Schwartz and Stephanie Ellen Sussman. May their memories be for a blessing.

Not Without My Laptop: A Coffee Shop Breakup

2013-05-10T10:55:08-07:00

When I first found it, it was like a breeze of fresh air: the merest whisper of hipster energy, a wooden interior that evoked Brooklyn and San Francisco and Tel Aviv and all the coffeeshops I'd loved before, as venues for procuring caffeine as well as for the bustling creativity that seemed to live there. This was a place that made me want to dissolve the ties I had to brand franchises whose emblems of tea leaves and mermaids promised an exotic beverage experience, but delivered a product that was ultimately manufactured to be reliable and predictable.

But that was not the case here. Not at a place with cushions on benches, with four levels of seating - couch, table, bar and above - or where teas were served in pots and lattes took up every inch of glorious space in their wide-mouthed mugs. This place had free wifi, was a great place for meetings, and was a safe space for laptop nation. It even made me want to forgive the intentionally misspelled word in their name.

I spent Sundays there, writing; aside from the occasional rabbinical student (not surprising, given the neighborhood), I was surrounded by people very different than those I worked with in the Jewish communal world. Guys in their 50s with longish hair and goatees, gesturing and posturing as they name drop minor celebrities; a series of women with increasingly larger and darker frames on their glasses; scarves, skinny jeans and flip-flops on men, women and children of all ages; the actor who plays Haley's boyfriend on "Modern Family"; women in leotards and men in cutoff sweatpants straight from the dance studio in the back, ordering tea as the sweat shows through their spandex; and the writers, like me who sat there, tapping away at keyboards, perhaps creatively inspired by those conversations and perhaps straight-up transcribing them.

These conversations were about nothing and everything, mostly things I don't get to talk about at work, things like "spec scripts," "web series," "new music dropping" and "independent film treatments." I could tune into these conversations, like the real-life radio station Pandora and Spotify never dreamed of, or I could pop in my earbuds and focus on my own words that seemed to flow so much easier in this environment than in any other one I'd found so far in Los Angeles.

I didn't remember signing up for their email newsletter, but why wouldn't I want to know what was going on at my favorite neighborhood haunt? Throughout, I bought coffee and tea, renting my space among the others of my tribe. It was wonderful.

The flag I failed to recognize as red...harbinger of the marginalization of Laptop Nation.

I should have known that the honeymoon wouldn't last. First came the "laptop free table." While the absence of a hyphen might have indicated to a writer that perhaps, this was a free table for those with laptops, or perhaps a call to portable computers to liberate the tables upon which they often rested, it was the sign of restricting us, the members of laptop nation, to a certain area. It was less comfortable - the chairs were shaky, the tabletop was not as spacious, and there wasn't a lot of room so you had to get there early to get a seat in that section. That should have been a red flag, but instead of noting it as a threat, I acquiesced. I understood. The coffee shop needed its space. So I respected those boundaries.

Then, I left. For three weeks. Not as any political statement (#freelaptopnation! #occupyhipstercoffeeshops!) but because it was Passover. I try not to blame myself; due to dietary restrictions, I wouldn't have been there anyway. But absence didn't serve this particular relationship well. While I was away, my beloved had a change of heart.

It was 9 am on a Sunday and I was an hour early for my meeting - I had hoped to caffeinate and create until my date arrived. But I came back to a sign: "Welcome to Laptop-Free Weekends." A rejection of me, my lifestyle and livelihood, masquerading as a welcome mat for everyone else. I turned on my heel and left, rescheduling my appointment with Microsoft Word as well as with my date. I couldn't believe it. Betrayed.

Soon after, the newsletters started coming more frequently, sharing news of expansion - the cafe was changing into a full-on restaurant, and - although the email didn't state it directly, I knew that part of that was the crackdown on those of us who were perceived as squatting freeloaders. I had never felt more like a character from "Rent." (Which is only appropriate, because so many cafe patrons look like they were understudying roles from "Rent," and we could all learn the Mimi "Take Me Ouoooot Tonight" choreography in the dance studio in the back.)

The newsletters kept coming, in greater frequency: it felt like they were laughing at me. Finally, I unsubscribed, and the unsubscribe page had allotted space for customers to explain their departure from this news cycle. So I told them why. Because the cafe had been a home for me, helping me to tap into my creativity, and now it was closed to me. Because I felt marginalized. Because it seemed to indicate an assumption about me and the rest of laptop nation, that we don't feel obligated to pay for the space we take up in their establishment. Because it felt like they were maligning us as a population that doesn't contribute to their reputation or income, despite the fact that we have meetings there, lunches there, buy cups of coffee to fuel our creative spirits and provide little breaks from staring at the screen. As if we hadn't aided them in their success at all. If not for laptop nation, would they have any Yelp rating at all?

The frequency of the missives, shouting about how well they were doing - adding a dinner menu, a comedy night, a concert - all at the expense of having kicked laptop nation to the curb, getting that in my inbox on the regular was like constantly answering the phone when an ex calls to crow about how much fun he's having without you.

And so I left. I can't say for certain that I'll never take a coffee meeting there again, but I am on the lookout, for something that provides me with what this other place took away. Because sometimes, a lady and her laptop just need a latte. And as for my ex-cafe? I have no acts of revenge planned. I even left their name out of this post. But I can't speak for the rest of laptop nation. They might not be so forgiving. I guess time, Yelp, and the rest of the social web will be the judge of that.

Dating the Seder Way (2013)

2013-03-26T16:01:17-07:00

(Esther's note: This piece is a 2013 version of "Dating the Seder Way," which appeared in the NY Jewish Week, April 22, 2005. Wishing us all a happy and liberated Passover, and that we continue to make strides toward personal and relationship redemption.)

Dating the Seder Way
by Esther D. Kustanowitz

Amy and Sheldon on a date (via http://www.openthefridge.net/blog/2012/10/1/big-bang-theory-recap-the-date-night-variable.html)

Why is this date different from all other dates? On a first date with someone new, that’s what we’re thinking. As we try to make emotional bricks without straw, a good date is the harbinger of a heartfelt hope that we will live to see relationship redemption. And just like any ritual, the courtship process has its own order.

Kadesh: You set aside a time and place to meet. The first beverage arrives; the alcohol warms you, liberating you from the oppression of routine. Both parties begin to relax.

Urchatz: Before eating a morsel, someone excuses himself (or herself) to the washroom. This provides both parties with a moment of solitude and a chance to assess the initial chemistry. If necessary (“I just got a call and something suddenly came up”), it’s also an opportunity for an early if not particularly graceful exit.

Karpas: During hors d’oeuvres, you realize this is someone you wouldn’t mind spending a few more minutes with. You’re not that hungry, but you “could eat something” – some flat crackers, maybe.

Yachatz: You begin to share anecdotes about your lives. If you’re lucky, this ends up a 50-50 give-and-take, and no one can discern which half of the conversation is bigger.

Magid: Now you’re into the main narrative: the substance of your date. As you tell your stories, you find resonance in the experiences of someone who, moments before, was a stranger at a strange table. You have discovered which of the Four Children you are out with.

The Wise Child attentively asks, “What do you do? Do you like it? How’d you get into that?” The Wicked Child asks, “What redeeming quality is there in that kind of career?” Because he cannot see redemption in your choices, you may smack him about the teeth, for he will not be redeemed. The Simple Child asks, “Why are we here?” and you answer him simply, and perhaps a little sadly that the conversation must remain so superficial. And the fourth child, who doesn’t even know enough to ask, relies completely on you to provide conversation, which you do politely before you open the door for your inevitable exit.

But tonight you’re lucky: you’re out with a Wise Child, whose questions inspire you and engender conversation that flows like the Nile. You bond over past professional servitude and shed the emotional shackles of relationships past. You begin to feel as if you personally experienced your partner’s suffering and feel acutely grateful that you have both been redeemed. You’re so absorbed in your study of each other that you barely notice when the waiter approaches and says, “Rabotai, it’s time to order dinner.” You drink more wine, toasting to tomorrow.

Rahtzah: This time the retreat to the washroom is more functional. In this moment alone, you wonder if your date is checking voice mail, looking for a pillar of smoke or fire to lead him away from you and toward freedom, even if it involves exile in a relationship wilderness.

Motzi Matzah: You return to the table, relieved to find that your date hasn’t made a personal exodus from the restaurant and instead has taken the liberty of ordering dinner.

Maror: There is sadness in your companion’s eyes. As more is revealed about past relationships, you taste the bitterness as if the experience had been your own.

Korech: You temper the bitter tales of loves lost with layers of humor and substance that reduce the bite, you conversation retains its pungency, but as you regain a sense of stability, your eyes water less.

Shulchan Orech: Dinner is served; you point out the pesto in your date’s teeth, while your companion kindly points your napkin in the direction of the tomato sauce you missed around your mouth. The wine flows like conversation, and the conversation flows like wine.

Tzafun: Dessert finds you searching for nuance and meaning in the developing relationship. If only you could find that elusive piece of unleavened feeling, you feel certain that you would win some sort of prize. Sharing the last tastes of the meal together, you smile at each other, your hunger more than sated.

Barech and Hallel: You utter silent benedictions: you are grateful for the food, the wine, the conversation and the company, and you mentally praise the person who orchestrated the setup. Neither of you needs additional intoxication, but since the bottle’s almost empty, you share the last of the wine.

Nirtzah: The order of the evening has concluded much as it began, leaving you to process your thoughts about, and memories of, the preceding hours. Simultaneously relieved and regretful, you try to treasure the moment without considering its potential spiritual impact. You’re aware that following the same script with the same people sometimes yields a different result – still, you wouldn’t mind doing it all again.

With the evening ended, you part ways. But as you kiss the night (and maybe even your date) goodbye, you make a wish for yourself that the emotionally connected experience you had tonight will be one you will merit to repeat, if not this year in New York or Los Angeles, then maybe next year in Jerusalem.

@EstherK's 2013 #Oscars Twitter Recap

2013-02-25T11:30:00-08:00

Via FanPop

I used to be very serious about my Oscar parties - inviting the right friends, having some lovely snacks and perhaps even dressing up a bit in mimicry of the red carpet madness. But then I found that people were betting on the results, being loud and talking over the presenters, and generally not letting me hear or experience the moments that would be water-cooler dissected at work the next morning. Now I have my Oscar party on Twitter, which allows me to dress how I want, multitask more efficiently, and to share my comments with the people who are hungry for second-screen content. (See here for my Golden Globes Twitter recap, as well as my liveblog of the Oscars back from 2009.)

Below are some of my tweets from last night, recapping some of Oscars' more memorable moments.

Red Carpet

Just opened a @tweetdeck column for #oscars, and the feed was moving too fast for even me to read.
Anne Hathaway's dress is pointing upward toward success. #oscars
I'm going to start an @indiegogo campaign to get Kristin Chenoweth an interviewing stepstool. #oscars
Red carpets = embodiment of awkward. The small talk is so uncomfortable it almost feels like running into former JDates at a party.

Seth MacFarlane Opening

Nothing like a good Mel Gibson joke to prove the writers are up on current events. #oscars
Oscars negotiator Captain James T. Kirk - "why can't Tina and Amy host everything?" #exactly
You may not enjoy Seth MacFarlane, but the dude can sing. #oscars #tinaandamyoscars2014
Truth. Also #tinaandamyoscars2014 RT @rachelsklar: That extravaganza was missing one thing: Jon Hamm.
RT @ThatKevinSmith: @SethMacFarlane could play Elder Price in BOOK OF MORMON. Dude can sing, dance & looks squeaky clean. #SMoscars #oscars

The Awards Begin...

"If you had the chance to change your fate, wouldjeh?" #whatiheareverytimeihearthewordBrave #oscars
New idea: Lock Fey, Poehler, Rudd, McCarthy & Hamm in a room for a week w/a bunch of writers, then they five-way host the #oscars.
#oscars - Jaws music to pay them off...funny, awkward and awesome. #jawsmusicforoscarscohost
Remembering how I tapped Brosnan as a future Bond in his Remington Steele days. Ohhhh, James...#oscars #castinggenius
Liam Neeson, now and forever, associated with the Schindler's List theme music. #oscars #oscarredforlife
"Les Miserabless." - John Travolta introducing musical medley. #oscars #jazzhands
Agreed. Skidoo. RT @rabbilaufer: My biggest criticism of this Chicago number? No jazz hands. #Oscars
Jennifer Hudson singing "And I'm Telling You..." still tweaks my tear ducts. #oscars #imgonnaloveher
#oscars staging: "Let's have Crowe walk out with Bonham Carter and Baron Cohen so no one boos him."
Jews. Hollywood. What a hilarious and astute observation. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the secret synagogue meeting. #not #oscars
Legit LOL. #oscars RT @ElBloombito: Yo soy bañning los songos de Les Miserables. Yo dreamed un dreamo that todos que stopped singingo.
I definitely just heard the announcer announce the presenter named "Nick Kroll Kidman." #oscars #canigetasoundcheck
Barbra singing "Memories" is a Hollywood kaddish. RT @Kveller: Now is when they say Kaddish. #toojewish? #oscars
My roommate when "Skyfall" won: "Adele has a last name?" #oscars
"This will be the writers' year, man." Quentin Tarantino, sealing my fate for 2013. Unless he means only one writer, and only a man. #oscars
In case you thought you couldn't like Jennifer Lawrence any more {TRIPS AND FALLS}. Ta-da! #oscars
Movie titles that can also apply to Jennifer Lawrence's loss of footing: Flight, Skyfall #oscars
[subsequently added Djennifer Unbalanced and My Two Left Feet]
How do you like THEM apples? RT @BurtonJM: He can write, he can produce, and yes he can direct (& sometimes act): Ben Affleck
I totally just tripped on my dress and fell on the stairs up to my apartment. Do you love me even more now? #jenniferlawrencenation #oscars
Glad that this #oscars show carried through - to the very last moments - the apparent theme of "AWK-ward."

Thank you for joining @estherk for Oscars 2013...see you next awards season!

What Makes Us Beautiful: One Direction's Pop Hit as Interpreted by an Adult

2013-02-20T10:23:51-08:00

If you're an adult (and I don't mean behaving like an adult all the time, I mean, that you have passed a certain number of years on this planet), you probably remember this scene from "When Harry Met Sally":

HARRY: I mean, "should auld acquaintance be forgot" - does that mean we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we do happen to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible, because we forgot them.

SALLY: Maybe you're just supposed to remember you forgot them, or something.

I've thought of this piece of dialogue more than once in contemplating one pop song that has taken up permanent residence inside my ear, and which I've found myself both relating to and abhoring at the same time. The part of me that adores One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" is my eternally crush-susceptible inner teenager, which is exactly the audience this (and all) dreamy-eyed boy-band pop is designed for. But because I am a grown-up (at least most of the time), I view this kind of music with both contempt for having captured me and with significant academic confusion about what the lyrics are meant to convey.

"What Makes You Beautiful" has a central narrative (please indulge my use of the word narrative to describe the "story" within this song – see here for complete lyrics and music video) that seems to paint a modern fairytale replete with love, beauty, desire and modesty.

Once upon a time, a boy likes a girl. She is beautiful but doesn't know it, exhibiting this through seemingly unconscious Downton-era indicators as flipping her hair, being shy and smiling at the ground. (Classics.) Buteveryone else in the room can see that she's beautiful. Everyone else but her.

The lovestruck teen boy, who wants her desperately, also wants her to understand that she's beautiful (because she doesn't know that she's beautiful). And to prove that he's right, he put it in a so-ho-hong that calls out her insecurity even though everyone else is looking at her and sees that she's beautiful. Then he repeats it, over and over, until he drills into her thick skull (underneath all that flipping hair and just to the north of that ground-smiling mouth), that she is beautiful. Because - in case you're just joining us now - she doesn't know that she's beautiful. And that's what makes her beautiful. (Feel free to illustrate this tale and publish it as a children's book - all I ask is 30% of the profits.)

The End.

Except it's not the end.

Initially, aside from the challenge of the male gaze being the thing that confers the acknowledgment of beauty, I was on board with a good part of the message - beauty doesn't have to be obvious or flashy, it's personal; often people are most beautiful in their moments of vulnerability, when they're not trying to be beautiful. Then their inner calm or personality or spirit can shine forward. Not wearing makeup, "being the way that you are is eno-ho-hough." Good. Positive messages. Tina Fey and Lena Dunham for co-Presidents of the World. Yes.

But after listening one too many times to this incredibly infectious tune, the message takes on a different tint. This Beauty has been evilly bewitched - her appeal is visible to everyone else and invisible to her. She gets a B.A. in flipping her hair and smiling at the ground. The teen villagers, instead of chasing her with torches like they would a Beast, hold torches for her, worshipping her from the midst of her blind oblivion. Prince Charming tries to shake some sense into her through his so-ho-hong, trying to break the spell, free Excalibeauty from her stony sense of self and show her once and for all that she is beautiful. (Even though she doesn't know it, because, well, you know.)

But if she doesn't know she's beautiful, and that's what makes her beautiful, once the curse is lifted and she becomes aware of her own beauty, her suitor has lost the thing that has most attracted him to this enigmatic creature of unconscious beauty. Once she can see what he can see, and understands how he wants her so desperately, we might see one of several less lyrical endings to this love story:

She will look in his eyes and fall desperately in love with him, but since she now knows she’s beautiful, he will no longer find her beautiful, and he will dump her. The End.
She will become aware of her own beauty and trade up to another suitor who's more in her league, perhaps one of the leering villagers. The End.
She will become creeped out that the entire community has been gazing on her lecherously this entire time, shrieking and running out into traffic. Smash. Boom. The End.
She sees everyone in the room looking at her, and as they stagger-lurch toward her like the lovelorn undead, she grabs the nearest shovel and decapitates them one-by one; when the last admirer has been cut down, she wipes the sweat and blood from her brow and says, "Now THAT's what makes me beautiful, bitches!" Then she tosses away her weapon, and she walks off into the sunset, as the strains of Miserlu play and the credits roll. (“Directed by Quentin Tarantino.”) The End.

But consider another option: perhaps she does, in fact, know she's beautiful. I mean how often does an entire room think someone is beautiful if that person does not, in some way, understand her own appeal? And if she does know she's beautiful, how would that change our understanding of the song? Whereas once our heroine was demure, shy, casting downward glances in subservient or self-deprecating postures unknowingly displaying beauty, now we're back to a more calculated model: the woman as temptress, feigning ignorance of her appeal, whilst weaving a web of slavish, teasing devotion involving her aspiring paramour, his bandmates, and everyone else in the room who can see it. Everyone else INCLUDING her.

In this scenario, she is complicit in the obsessive nature of the singer's connection with her. Suddenly, this beauty is a Mean Girl. And part of me wants to report her to the folks at Miss Representation. (Another part of me wants to use the plot of this song as some kind of inverse fairy tale basis for a webseries, but that's still an idea in process.)

As I consume culture aimed at the masses, enjoying the intense catchiness of the tune, and the irrepressible youth enthusiasm of both music and lyrics, I apply a generous dose of intellectual analysis. Perhaps this woman is a manipulator. (Or, as a friend reframed it, “knows her own power.”) But I would like to believe that her beauty blindness is due to the aspired-to but still-rare self-possessed sense that outer beauty isn't worth the effort if it doesn't match what's inside, that effortless, modest beauty is something that will be as powerful an attractor as its obvious, more flashy cousins. Beauty is intimate, relative, situational, specific, amorphous and different, person-to-person, day-to-day. And that’s what makes us beautiful.

Limmud NY: Bring It On

2013-02-15T07:46:37-08:00

I've been to five LimmudLA conferences, and have twice been granted access to the Mothership - the original UK Limmud. At all of them, I've experienced new approaches to familiar texts, fresh opinions on Jewish engagement, and reinvigorated connections to culture and tradition. This weekend is my first time to the NY version of the conference, and I'm ("only") doing three sessions, so I'm super-excited to participate lots. It's sold out, but you can check out the schedule here, and don't forget to follow along with the Tweets at #limmudny.

Find me on Friday night after dinner doing a TalkSpace on Modern Jewish Identities and Global Culture (or something like that...). We'll raise and discuss some difficult questions about Jewish identity, connection and responsibliity. Seating is limited, but we might have a few seats available...

Then, Saturday afternoon, join a group of people who have experienced grief or who are anxious about a future loss, or those who want to reach out to friends who are grieving for Nothing Helps (But This Might Help): Community and Comfort in the Social Media Age. The loss of a loved one throws the world into chaos, for mourners and for the people who surround them. Whether you've been through a loss in your family, or you've recently tried to comfort someone who has, come for some open, honest talk about what may help, finding humor in unexpected places, and how today’s Jewish community (and you) can use technology and personal interactions to support those who grieve. (In memory of my mother, Shulamith z”l.)

And finally, Sunday night, at Yaffa & Esther's Excellent Limmudventure: A Judeo-Cultural Odyssey, Jewish comedy is a tradition as old as the Talmud. But don't take our word for it - join us for a conversational, potentially controversial collision of pop culture, tradition, text, feminism, technology and Jewish identity, reflected through re-enacted scenes (or YouTube clips) of movie dialogue and their Talmudic parallels. Most sources and YouTube clips will be in English (unless we find a really awesome one in Hebrew). Some Talmud sources and movie dialogue may not be rated PG, especially since this session happens late at night and some people may have started, um, celebrating already.

Overall a good mix of Jewy, cultural and communal. And those are just my three sessions...

Looking forward to seeing what the other 799 participants have in store for us. :) Catch you all on the flip side of this intense conference experience. A wonderful Shabbat and weekend to you all.

Goodbye to "30 Rock"; Goodbye to EstherK's Unfinished "30 Rock" Spec Script

2013-01-31T12:10:16-08:00

There is so much to be sad about in thinking of a world without "30 Rock." No more blergs. No more "nerds!" No more theres that you want to go to. No more Frank hats. No more flashbacks to Liz and Jenna's improv days. No more virtuoso performances by Alec Baldwin as he roleplays Tracy's parents in therapy or delivers the most amazing eulogy ever uttered. Sad stuff.

But since I live in Hollywood-focused Los Angeles now, I have to admit that I'm also personally sad - now I’ll never have a motivation to finish the spec script for the show that I started a few years ago. And since no one will ever see that finished product, I’m happy to share a portion of the synopsis for what would have been - by far - the Jewiest episode of the sitcom, an ep I had tentatively titled “Tracy Converts to Judaism.” Who knows? Maybe it will end up in a Purim spiel one day.

EPISODE PARTIAL SYNOPSIS: "TRACY CONVERTS TO JUDAISM"
SPEC SCRIPT - "30 ROCK" - BY ESTHER D. KUSTANOWITZ

Tracy Jordan decides to become a Jew for Passover because he found out that the Easter bunny isn’t real and he feels betrayed by Jesus. He purges the office of bread and cake – much to the horror of Liz Lemon - and insists that the cast and writers script a model seder, which will be attended solely by models. Tracy bans bread and baked goods in commemoration of Passover, and Jenna and Liz team up and plot to sabotage the seder through guerilla improv theater.

Kenneth finds them and goes to Jack to alert him that Mr. Jordan is playing with hellfire for embracing Judaism over Christianity. Jack mistakes Kenneth’s piety for a legal threat of religious persecution litigation against GE, and to counterprogram in a way that satisfies equal time for religious beliefs, suggests that Kenneth hold a competing production, a Passion play with help from underused TGS writers, none of whom have any religious school education. What ensues is a theatrical production which is an amalgam between pop culture and the frayed threads of various religious traditions.

There’s more to the synopsis, and I've even written four scenes (which, as I'm reading the above, I realize are much funnier - and interestingly, less Jewy - than the synopsis), but I’ll save it all for a rainy, 30-Rockless Thursday, when I’m missing the TGS gang, and wishing to revisit the halcyon days of NBC workplace antics - helmed by a wacky, geeky, Star-Wars-loving misfit of an everywoman who juggles it all at the expense of herself, but emerges with everything she's ever wanted. Probably. (Haven't seen the finale yet.)

"30 Rock," I'll miss you. Please launch Tina Fey to other projects soon and let her host lots of other award shows and stuff. Amen. And in closing, blerg.

Josh Malina and MAZON Project Update

2013-01-17T10:12:36-08:00

It's Josh Malina's birthday today, and as you know from the previous post, the West Wing and Scandal star decided to ask his fans and followers to celebrate with him by giving a donation to MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger. If you missed the post, go back and read it now. I'll wait. (Good job.)

Since that post, two things have happened that I think are noteworthy.

Firstly, whereas Malina's first hope was to raise $5,000, they're now at $12,313. This illustrates the power of asking for small contributions from lots of people - they are able to illustrate support for someone whose work they appreciate, understanding that this person adds value to their lives, and they're able to improve the lives of others as a tribute. This is wonderful.

Secondly, what the Causes page doesn't reflect is something else that happened on Twitter. NFTY (The National Federation of Temple Youth, the youth group for Reform Judaism) made Malina an offer:

@NFTY: @JoshMalina We’ll match your @causes campaign for @StopHunger up to $10,000 if you’ll join us in LA to pick up the check. #NFTYConvention

Malina's response:

@JoshMalina: Seriously?! Done!!!

It's not a surprise that this happened via social media organizing - Twitter has emerged for so many celebrities as just another PR engine, feeding the American hunger for information about the minutiae of celebrity existence and creating a perception of insiderness for pop culture consumers. But Malina gets it in a way that not all actors do - he shares authentic insights of intelligence and humor in a way that shows you it's not his PR team doing the tweeting. (Or if it is, WOW. Great job.) On Facebook, he uses that medium to expand on the cleverness and to interact with people in the comments. Malina's using social media to actually reach people. And that's why a campaign like this is working - because he writes from a place of authenticity and value. People relate to that, and trust him for it.

So this is how the world of fundraising can work today. Someone authentic with a large network (and loyal followers who relate to and feel connected to him) identifies a cause they're passionate about, and a reason to ask people donate, and sets a decent, but modest goal. This person is not a celebrity spokesperson - this cause was their idea, emerged from their understanding of a need and their trust in a particular organization to achieve that need. People respond as generously as they want to, helping that person reach the goal and go beyond. Other people or organizations see the movement and are inspired, putting their own money up to match the cause.

Now, because a celebrity is involved, NFTY realized it was an opportunity to do good, but also an opportunity for their organization, whether it is greater visibility for their programs or enhanced inspiration for their participants. Neither one of those is a bad thing. Although one could look at this as celebrity blackmail - we'll give you a check, but you have to make a personal appearance to pick it up - the whole concept of a matching gift itself issues a challenge not unlike blackmail - we will do this, if you do that.

In any case, Malina seems happy to submit to this specific kind of blackmail, which I described to someone else as "the good, mitzvah-laden kind of blackmail." Being "ultimatum'd" into a public appearance in order to fight hunger isn't the worst thing in the world. And maybe that's the lesson - that when you're passionate about a cause, you do what you need to do to get it done.

Best of luck to Mr. Malina, wishing him much success, many happy returns of the day, and much nachas from the success of this campaign. (And in the 20 minutes it took me to write this post, donations have shot up - the total is now $13,597 and growing. Why not add a few bucks of your own to this cause? Donate here.)

Celebrity Do-Gooder: Josh Malina

2013-01-15T08:30:00-08:00

Anyone who's following Josh Malina on Facebook or @joshmalina on Twitter knows that the actor - an alum of various Acts of Sorkinalia (A Few Good Men, Sports Night, The American President,The West Wing) and other memorable roles (Psych, Big Bang Theory) and currently featuring as the resident "white hat" district attorney on Shonda Rimes' Scandal - is achingly funny. With the literal "to wit," here's his comment from a few hours before the Golden Globes Awards: "I love the Golden Globes! There's something touching about current waiters giving awards to former waiters. (In fact, my theory is that any Twitter backlash against Malina's Scandal character, David Rosen, stems from fans' disappointment that the role is largely dramatic and doesn't permit Malina to manifest his comedic timing as much as the fans would like. But I digress...)

But now, Malina proves that he's also sensitive, and a nice Jewish boy to boot - for his 47th (!) birthday, he's declared a campaign to raise funds for MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger, a national nonprofit organization working to prevent and alleviate hunger among people of all faiths and backgrounds. The intial goal was set at 1 billion dollars (and why not?), but in the accompanying campaign video, Malina notes it would be great if they could raise $5,000. Perhaps he should have targeted higher - the campaign is at $8,800 and rising, and his birthday isn't until January 17. (It would be great if he could mobilize his celebrity friends to match what the crowdfunding raises, too. That would send a powerful message.)

Besides the swag that Malina offers in the video below for higher donations, you too can get as you give - for a donation of $10 or more, @joshmalina will follow you on Twitter.

Mazal tov to you, Josh - on your birthday, on making the 40s look like not such a scary place, and for being an example of how your public voice can amplify the message that we can all do our part to make the world a little better while we're here. Kol hakavod!

Twitter Recap: The Golden Globes 2013

2013-01-13T23:39:32-08:00

For the first half of the Golden Globes I was multitasking and didn't pay any attention to Tweeting. And then Ah-nuld and Sly showed up, and it was on.

Here are some of my Tweets from the Golden Globes. As you can see, I spent the night wishing for more of the co-hosts, the worship-worthy Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (at left in a FoxNews photo). All Tweets were tagged with #goldenglobes (which I removed from the posts below) and sometimes other snarkiness (which I left in the posts below). I moved a few of them around in the chronology for the purpose of this post.

Enjoy, and see you at the Oscars! (Well, not at the Oscars. But probably online at the Oscars.) - EK

Best Foreign Film

Question: How do Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger know where to put their ties? I can't tell where their necks are.

Best Screenplay

I'm adding "this is a damn surprise" to my list of go-to exclamations. #qt #quentintarantinoftw
For all his bluster, I think Quentin Tarantino still really loves being part of Hollywood. Like he remembers he's a video clerk made good.
Need. More. Tina & Amy.

Best Actress, Comedy or Musical

Loved Amy's canoodling with Clooney during the nominees' announcement.
Fancy dress. Tats. #girls #lenaftw
Finding the fact that @lenadunham can't walk in her fancy shoes endearing.

Best Animated Feature

Cannot hear the music from Brave without saying aloud, "If you could change yer fate, wouldjeh?"

Cecil B. Demille Award

Robert Downey Jr.: "...so versatile he has played Iron Man in three different movies." Tina, je t'adore.
Jodie Foster has been so good for so long. She's fabulous, looks great, & she just redundantly came out.
Jodie Foster's kids Charlie and Kit look like an older and younger version of themselves.
It actually shouldn't surprise me that Jodie Foster has mastered cloning. She's really smart. #kitandcharlie
I think Jodie Foster just retired from acting...and made all the women in the audience cry.

Best Director

Lookin' fine, Ben Affleck. #betterwithabeard #howdyalikethemapples

Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical

Thanks to @juddapatow for his championing unique voices like@lenadunham's
I thought Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were hosting this show...

Best Actor, Drama

Hey everyone, remember when Bradley Cooper was the lovelorn bestie of Jennifer Garner on #alias? I do.

Best Actress, Drama

Can you tell Marion Cotillard and Rachel Weisz apart? Maybe the HFPA can't either, split the difference, and picked the redhead?

Best Actor, Drama

If you look closely at Daniel Day-Lewis, you can watch the contours of his face morphing into Jeremy Irons. He's that good.

Best Picture

Is Julia Roberts wearing coulats? And is that how you spell coulats? (readers later corrected my spelling to "culottes")

And in conclusion...

If I ever have to draw a square, I will do so by tracing over a photo of Josh Brolin's jaw.
The takeaway from tonight: Victor Garber, Jennifer Garner, Bradley Cooper...good #alias representation.
I want to study lipreading so I can know what #goldenglobes celebs are saying when the camera pans to them right before commercial breaks.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler - grossly underused tonight. Disappointed.

See y'all in the Oscars tweetstream...

"Year-End Appeal": A Tapestry of Solicitation Subject Headers

2012-12-31T10:41:19-08:00

Dear Esther/Friend/Supporter,

Got a minute?

Shalom, I just wanted to reach out to you to ask if you are a potential supporter. It's not too late. Make a gift. 4 days left before year's end! There's still time to support Jewish education in 2012! A year end gift for you. Last chance. Last chance to make a difference this year.

A gentle nudge. After Monday will be too late! The year's end: we can really use your help.

We need your help immediately. For the next two days...our organization needs your support.We depend on you. What your support means to us.Help Angelenos in need. Stand up!. Help us support more local events in 2013. Support us today!

From all of us here, we wish you a happy New Year! If you haven’t made your year-end donation yet, the time is now. The progress we can make next year will be determined by the gift you can make today. Last chance to donate and get a tax deduction.

One day left! Last chance to make your 2012 gift. Last day to donate! A final reminder. Immediately. The finish line. Help us meet our goal TODAY! Thanks for a great 2012.

Gratefully yours,

All the organizations that have sent me solicitations in the last two weeks

Touchstone: Connection's Open Palm

2012-12-12T17:54:11-08:00

To mark the first anniversary (yahrzeit) of my mother’s passing, and the conclusion of the Jewish-tradition-mandated year of mourning, my friend Becca gave me a small piece of jewelry – it was a blue hamsa, an open and outstretched hand common in middle eastern cultures, and it seemed to sparkle, even though it contained no gems.

As time passed, I wore the hamsa more and more, and without fail, every time I wore it, someone made a comment – asking me about the stone, or where I got it, or what it meant. I learned that it was an opal (mine was blue, like the one in the photo at left), I discovered more about the person from whom my friend had bought this gift (her name was Rachelle Tratt and she was a Venice-based yoga instructor). I learned that the jewelry business was called The Neshama Project (in memory of Rachelle’s mother, Nicole), and that it also generated donations for charitable causes (Innovation Africa, Friends of Ofanim and Zeno Mountain Farm).

But the fact that people kept commenting on this little piece of jewelry, literally every time I wore it, had to mean something about the piece itself, and also about human connection in general. Also, I didn’t think it was an accident that every time someone commented, my hand flew to my neckline, hand touching stone and chain, and actively, physically remembering the piece, its fire, its point and person of origin, and that it had become literal touchstone, a physical anchor in my process of assimilating loss into – instead of permitting it to overpower - daily life.

“The hamsa represents a universal connection, that even though we may come from different paths, backgrounds and faiths, we are all inter-connected. We are all One,” Rachelle affirmed in an email interview conducted last week in advance of Hanukkah. (Necklaces from The Neshama Project make excellent Hanukkah presents, by the way - and you can get 10% off by using the code "holidaysoul.")

Rachelle’s bigger visions for The Neshama Project include spreading the messages of people and organizations “who are making this world a healthier, brighter, and more soulful place,” and she envisions leading spiritual /yoga minded retreats to Israel for those of all faiths, in order to bridge the gap and help educate those about life in the Middle East.
“I used to dream of a way to help others shine and heal,” she reflected. “I used to dream of a way to allow my personal story to inspire others. I used to dream of a way to have my mother's spirit live on through me. But never in my wildest dreams, did I imagine that The Neshama Project would connect me with people in such meaningful ways.”
Eventually, Rachelle (who lives in Venice) and I (Pico-Robertson) met – connected by a mutual friend, in another country, by accident and with an assist from social media. But I’ll let her kick off the Q & A by telling you about that:

Rachelle: This summer in Jerusalem while I was researching organizations and manufacturers for The Neshama Project, a dear friend came to me with a rush of excitement; he had met someone who was wearing a blue hamsa (now keep in mind, everyone in Israel wears them!!!) The next part of this story is where my heart cracked open. This woman had explained that her mother had passed away a year ago, and a girlfriend bought her the necklace from The Neshama Project to mark the conclusion of her year mourning her mother. My mouth opened in amazement, and shock, and I was left speechless; a very rare quality for me! I couldn't wrap my brain around who this mysterious woman was and how she knew of The Neshama Project.

In the days that followed, after writing about the experience on my blog, the puzzle pieces started to come together. My co-worker reminded me that when she bought some necklaces for presents, one of them was in fact for her dear friend commemorating moving past her year of mourning. A few days later, a new e-mail surfaced with the subject line "connecting the dots" from Esther Kustanowitz. She had read the blog post about the Jerusalem encounter and realized she was the person at the story’s center. We became pen-pals, and eventually met when I returned from Israel, where we finally had the chance to connect about life, loss, Judaism and love. All because of a special blue hamsa.

A Neshama Project hamsa

EstherK: How did the Neshama project get its name? What about the hamsa do you find so appealing?

Rachelle: I have always been drawn to the term "Neshama" for many reasons. Neshama means soul in Hebrew. And according to Kabbala, ancient Jewish mysticism, the human soul consists of three parts: Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshama, which is considered to be the highest - where one has the power and ability to fully realize and attain the awareness of God. The neshama lives on after death, and so does the spirit of my mother. The "N" in Neshama is in honor of my mother Nicole who passed away when I was nine years old. Her spirit, love for community, and commitment to chesed; acts of kindness, inspire the very fabric of my life.

The hamsa - an ancient Middle Eastern amulet symbolizing the Hand of God - is a protective sign that has always resonated with me as a reminder of the bigger picture in life, whether it be a connection with G-d, Spirit, and or Mother Nature. I have a hamsa wall in my room, from various travels and adventures, reminding me of the beauty of life, and that I am always supported and protected.

EstherK: You're also a yoga instructor and community builder. How does this business ideologically support or expand your passions in these areas?

Rachelle: Being a part of something with a greater purpose is what drives me to wake up in the morning, holds me accountable, and inspires me to be the best that I can be. Teaching and practicing yoga and the path of mindful living has brought me back to Judaism in my own way. In being a constant student of Life, and having the privilege of teaching yoga to various communities and organizations, I learn more about myself and the world every day.

The Neshama Project is all of me put into a socially conscious business. It is about building community, overcoming obstacles, and finding resilience. It is about choosing the positive path, giving hope, and letting people shine. It is about finding joy in the small things, like the color turquoise, a good ol' bowl of hummus, and belly laughter with friends.

In making the decision to be vulnerable, open, and authentic with myself and the world, it has attracted like-minded people, and created a safe space for those to be open and vulnerable in return. Many experiences have taken my breath away. Emails and conversations about love and loss, and how people purchase a hamsa as a symbol for their own personal growth and transformation - these are the moments that make IT ALL worth it. In these experiences, I can't deny the workings and inner-workings of something Greater in my life.

For more about Rachelle Tratt - and to purchase Neshama Project hamsas (use the code "holidaysoul" for 10% off) - you can visit The Neshama Project, 'like' them on Facebook, and follow them on Twitter.

Help Produce The Hebrew Hammer (and Cast Hitler)

2012-12-08T18:00:00-08:00

"He's a bad mother...sheket b'vakashah..." - The Hebrew Hammer theme song

Several years ago I was at a Jewish arts and culture conference in NYC, and happened to meet writer Jon Kesselman. After a few minutes of conversation, wherein I expressed some delight for his 2003 film, The Hebrew Hammer, and its script, which was jampacked with absurdist Jewish references, he made the pitch.

"Glad you liked it. Got $2 million dollars? I want to make a sequel."

At some point after that, word (and a few pages) leaked out that the sequel, "The Hebrew Hammer Vs. Hitler," was floating around Hollywood somewhere, and that it featured an obliteration of then-famously-anti-Semitic-and-drunk-misogynist Mel Gibson. (Some people reported on that somewhere.)

If you're a fan of The Hebrew Hammer, the cult film featuring Mordechai Jefferson Carver as the world's first Jewxplotation hero to save both Christmas and Kwanzaa, you already know that earlier this week creator, writer, producer, gaffer, best boy, set tutor and crafts services menu coordinator (I don't know, I'm just making those titles up) Jon Kesselman has launched a Jewcer campaign to fund the sequel, with the confirmed title of "The Hebrew Hammer Vs. Hitler." Kesselman, with apparently minimal success at pitching bloggers for two-million-dollar investments, has decided to take it to the fans to drum up initial support (the goal is $200,000, but the minimal pledge for Kesselman to receive funding is $50,000) for the film.

In addition to cash donations, Kesselman is looking for his Hitler. (Hopefully this will not be the result of an old-style casting couch scenario.) The promotional pitch video below suggests actors as varied as Jack Black, Will Ferrell, and Paul Rudd...but I want to make a bold suggestion: John Hamm. Hamm is cool for the men, compelling for the ladies, but isn't afraid to deglam the Hamm in favor of the funny. Plus, putting "ham(m)" in a Jewish film has a rebellious aspect to it, and you get to use the tagline: "Hamm IS Hitler."

So who's your Hitler? And what would Kesselman do? Support the campaign (and follow their filmmaking adventures on @HammerVsHitler), and maybe we'll all have a chance to find out. And happy Hanukkah, motherf*&%ers.

Home: True Stories of L.A.'s Muslims and Jews

2012-12-05T17:31:00-08:00

On December 2nd, 2012, sixteen Muslim and Jewish organizations across Los Angeles joined to create "Home: True Stories of L.A.'s Muslims and Jews" - a unique cultural event centered around the theme of "home" with music, stories and interactive art installations. The evening was co-hosted by New Ground Executive Director Sarah Bassin, and Edina Lekovic, Director of Policy and Programming, Muslim Public Affairs Council in L.A.

Inspired by the wildly popular Moth Story Slams, six Muslims and Jews shared their true tales (see links and embed below) about what "home" means to them as audience members had the opportunity to explore the concept for themselves. More than 200 people came to hear tales that covered everything:

how religion and medicine link an orphaned doctor to his family history

the role of guava jam in linking to family heritage, tradition and identity

finding the courage to escape from Torah camp

the evolving definition of home, involving blackouts and the Wizard of Oz

how grandparents' post-war visit to their towns in Eastern Europe redefines home

a boy's inspired connection with his grandmother that continues to motivate his drive for success

I was honored to have been one of the six storytellers, and the company was eclectic, spirited, funny, inspiring and grateful. Oddly enough, the "Escape From Torah Camp" story was NOT mine. In fact, I would like some massive credit for only using one Yiddish word in my story, which didn't center on social media, Jewish innovation or NextGen engagement. It was also fascinating to meet and speak with the other storytellers, and discover points of commonality (whether it was food, family, tradition or the Wizard of Oz) through their stories. Two of the storytellers - one Muslim and one Jewish - actually knew each other from the University of Miami. I learned that fellow storyteller Taz (@tazzystar) Ahmed lost her mother within a month of my mother's passing. (You can read her writing, including a piece about dreaming of her mother, here.) I look forward to developing these relationships, and having the opportunity to deepen our conversations.
See below for my performed story - the written story upon which this story is based will hopefully appear in my blog in the days to come. (I don't mean that to be read as messianically as it sounded.)

View the other stories here.

"Hot Mamalah": Lisa Klug's New Book Celebrates Jewish Women

2012-11-27T04:00:00-08:00

From cocktails to cupcakes, from bling to blintzes, from guilt to gefilte fish, from bags to boys, and from retail therapy to actual therapy, Lisa Alcalay Klug's newest book, "Hot Mamalah," celebrates the kitsch and the kitchen, the likes, loves and passions of Jewish women.

Written in Lisa's distinctive blend of pop savvyness and intensive knowledge of Jewish tradition, the voice of this book is similar to the "pop culture guide" tone she used in her previous book, "Cool Jew," which became a #1 Amazon best seller. Plus, those of us who know several of the points along Lisa's trajectory over the last five or so years can see the impact of organizations, networks and experiences on this book, including most notably, Jewlicious and Limmud. Check out her book trailer below for an inside look at some of the eclectic design and to get a flavor of the content...

Lisa's hosting a giveaway raffle with lots of cool Jewish stuff over at ModernTribe through tomorrow, December 3, so enter now while you can! (Click here.)