If I ran as much or as often as I ran my mouth about all the things I shoulda, coulda woulda did? I’d be first place in the friggin NY Marathon.

What it all comes down to? I’m not a do-er. I’m a dreamer, a wisher, a thinker … Maybe if I blog about it enough, or talk about it enough I will BE successful. But … dreams and wishes and thoughts do not lead to success. You I have to work at it, work FOR it. But I don’t.

I just keep gaining more weight and then I come here and whine about it … Or maybe I spout some motivational garbage about how I’m gonna make a change and the time is now … But then I don’t DO anything except eat crap and not be active.

I’m frustrated with myself.  I’m mad at myself.  But I continue to do nothing about it.  WTF is wrong with me? Why do I allow this cycle of shame to continue?  The only person who has the power to put an end to this is ME.  No amount of watching weight-loss vloggers, or inspirational quotes or hopes or dreams or wishes will make it happen. TAKING ACTION will make it happen.  I know this.  But still, I’ve done nothing.

Tonight I’m taking a Zumba class … for the first time in years.  I’m scared.   I was feeling really good about it until I checked out the place I’m going to on twitter/facebook … now I’m petrified.  Everyone looks like a fit skinny mini … and now I fear my fat ass will stick out like a sore thumb.

But I’m going.  I’ve got my gym bag packed, and I’m going.  Like Jess said:  CHANGE something and the OUTCOME will CHANGE.

One step at a time, one foot in front of the other.  Every day is a chance to start over …

This is what my box looked like:

Oh my goodness! So much good stuff packed in here! From sunscreen, to tea bags, to toothpaste, to relaxation-aides … there was such a wide variation of products I was excited to try!  Truth be told, I’m still making my way through some of the products LOL!  One of the things I was most excited about was the Yes To Cucumbers sunscreen (but have still yet to try because there has been so much RAIN and very little SUNSHINE here lately – soon I hope!)

But hands down my most favorite goodie in the box? This baby:

OMG OMG OMG OMG …. soooooo yummy!!! And points-plus friendly too for my fellow Weight Watchers members! In fact the minute I finished the package I rushed to the Conscious Box site to order, but it’s the only thing from my box I cannot seem to locate on their site So now, I’m on a mission to find them – I’m going to check out a health-food store by my apartment and if I have no luck then I will order online through Amazon or something!

Now for the fun part:

The people at Conscious Box are giving one of you the chance to win a e Conscious Box of your own!  How fun is that?! Good luck & thanks again Conscious Box!!!

(Open to U.S. residents only)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*** Disclaimer:  I was not compensated for this review I was sent a Conscious Box  in exchange for this review. All opinions are my own

Remember a couple of months back when I wrote this post about how a friend pretty much walked out of my life? Well … It’s been hard to deal with.  It weighed on heavy on my heart and there are still moments where I think of her … but it’s been getting easier, I was almost at a place where I could honest say I had put it all in the past … And, just when I think I’m ok … Just when I think I have fully and complete moved on and let go … I get mind fuked.  Last night she started following me (or maybe re-following me, I’m not sure) on Pinterest … I know it means nothing – it’s Pinterest … But I mean …  It stung my heart. It makes me want to reach out to her. But I have no way to. I’m still blocked from everything, dunno her email address and deleted her number from my phone cause truth be told everytime I saw her name it hurt. Just like how the notification email that she started following me hurt – it just seemed like a reminder of what could of been and what was and what isn’t now.

And then I watched the new Pretty Little Liars episode last night and Mona said the above quote to Hannah. And OMG – yes. That’s me and how I feel.  BUT – I will say I’m in a better place then I was with the whole situation in that I’m jot really stressing it … Just thinking about life and the changes we go through … I dunno now I feel like I’m rambling …

There’s been a lot on my mind lately.  I’ve been getting panic attacks a lot again lately.  I’m not sure exactly what’s triggering them.  It’s probably a combination of a lot of things …

I haven’t been focusing on my weight loss journey again lately.  I just don’t have it in me right now. I’m in some kind of funk. All I wanna do is eat and eat … I’m struggling really bad I’m not sure if its a bit of depression or what but its been hard again lately. I’ve been eating to the point where I feel sick I feel so disgusting … but it’s like I cannot stop.

My body is craving that I do something.  I dream about running.  I just want to get up and go … But then my head catches up with my heart and I remember  I can’t run.  I get to the corner and I feel like I’m gonna die.  And then I get discouraged.  How can my  mental wants and my physical ability be so opposite? How do I make them coincide? How do I stay motivated? Someone recently told me they started out running “one mailbox at a time” Maybe that’s what I need to do?

I know Couch to 5k has done wonders for a lot of you – but even that seems a little intimidating to me. To those of you on your fitness journey … how did you start? Did you just jump into exercising/running and never look back? Did you start small? What did you do?

I have to say I was surprised at how many goodies were managed to be packed inside one tiny box.  It was exciting to go through each item, I actually felt like the fun would never end (which is a far cry from my Birchbox days, I would tear through the contents in two seconds and then be like that’s it?!) LOL! In fact, there were so many little surprises in this box, I cannot even talk about all of them or this post would last for days

I am sooo addicted to BB cream! I think it’s the perfect thing to use (especially in the warmer months).  Anything that can make my makeup routine a little bit easier is a plus for me!   I haven’t gotten a chance to try this one yet (my skin has been a little wonky lately, and I want to wait until I get it a bit more under control before I try out a new product on my face), but I am eager to test it out soon!

I love this eyeshadow!!! Like, seriously, obsessed! I’ve been blending it with my Naked Palette’s and am loving the way it changes the entire look.  It’s a lighter, airy color great for the warmer weather as well!

Honestly, I have not used regular shampoo in months.  I’m 100% a WEN girl.  However, I do plan on trying this out one day soon.  I’m curious to switch things up and see if I notice a difference between my “WEN” hair and “regular shampoo” hair.  Plus, I mean, if I’m going to cheat on WEN, John Frieda is the man to do it with

And last but not least, included in my box was this recipe for a DIY facial.  I’m all over this.  I need to go get some Peppermint oil & Kaolin Clay (not sure where to even find it, but nust research) and I am totally trying this! Especially since as I mentioned above, my face is breaking out a lot lately, and I love the idea of knowing exactly WHAT I am putting on my skin without any added (and unnecessary) ingredients and/or chemicals!

If you are interested or want more information on the Pampered Pink Box be sure to check out their Website, Blog, Twitter, or Facebook.

Sparkle Boutique is located in Whitestone, NY (Queens).  The store specializes in specialize in Bridesmaid, Mother of the Bride, Prom and all Special Occasion dresses. Some of the designers they carry include Amsale bridesmaids, Watters, Patra, Jovani and my personal favorite: Tadashi Shoji!

The dresses are all gorgeous! There were so many dresses I didn’t even get pictures of! I cannot wait to go visit again soon and get dresses for the weddings I have coming up this summer!

And then how cool is this:  Another friend of mine made this custom bedazzled mannequin for Elena’s store … I could not stop staring at it … it is stunning, pictures do not even do this baby justice!

If you are in the New York area and are in need of the perfect special-occasion dress, I definitely recommend you make the trip out to Sparkle Boutique!

You can also find Sparkle Boutique on FACEBOOK  and INSTAGRAM!

Elena – I wish you lots of luck and happiness with your new store, and I know you will make many women SPARKLE! Sagapo poli

(Disclaimer: I was in no way compensated for this post)

But isn’t that the very reason I blog? To share my story … to be open and honest with whatever life decides to throw at me? It’s become a form of therapy for me.  To hash out all those emotions, work through them, feel them, embrace them.  It isn’t always easy.  There are a lot of things I’ve been feeling lately – things I’ve touched on before, and things I haven’t … things I wanted to share but wasn’t sure I was ready or willing to … Truth be told, I’m still not sure I am …

Sometimes I just want to write … and write … and write … and other times there is so much going on inside my head I can’t even seem to make coherent sentences, let alone a blog post worth publishing.  It’s then that you usually find me doing a linkup or two (or twelve, LOL).  Sometimes I’m trying to get my mind right, and it’s easier to just do a ‘phone-it-in’ post.  Sometimes it’s easier to just be all cookie-cutter nice and simple.  Sometimes I don’t have anything to say.  Sometimes I have post after post after post written, scheduled and ready to go …

Life is all about balance.  Weigh too heavily to one side or the other, and you are sure to topple over.  Sometimes toppling over is a necessary evil, because it reminds you of the importance of keeping all things in moderation …

In the darkness is when I want to yell and scream and cry. When I hate. When I question. When I worry. When no matter what I do I can’t shut off my brain. I can’t stop obsessing.

I can go all day without thinking about all that’s happened.   It’s almost as if I forget about it in the daylight … Like all the pain fades away and I’m whole again.

But at night? There’s no controlling it.

It’s always worst at night …

It’s ok …

• To be a little heart-broken that this is the last ‘It’s Ok Thursday’ post ever
• To  not be able to feel my legs thanks to the Squat Challenge
• To be obsessed, OBSESSED with Kiki La’Rue clothes (two orders this week alone!)
• To still giggle when I look at my “fashion-blogger” pics from this post
• But to at the same time love the way the pics came out (even if they are iphone selfies)
• To be so super motivated right now when it comes to my weight-loss journey
• That I haven’t vlogged in a week
• To grow apart from some people, and closer to others
• To stalk people’s instagram like it’s my job
• If I thought it was Friday every day this week
• To get sad each time I realized it wasn’t Friday LOL
• To get slightly annoyed with the bipolar weather we’ve been having
• To accept that somethings will not be the way I want them to
• To love the people in my life
• To love that I have two three-day weekends in a row
• To be super excited to spend next Friday with my BFF & Goddaughter
• To feel like this post should of been more special since it’s the final one
• That it’s not particularly special … it’s just OK

PS: Don’t forget to take advantage of the 10% coupon code at Coolie:

I first mentioned  Coolie in this post.  But I seriously am in love.  I’m envisioning all the outfits I could put together.  There are a couple of more turbans I still have  my eyes on … So, without futher ado, now I’m going to attempt to be a fashion blogger share with you some pictures of me wearing my new beloved Turban:

Coolie is offering ALL of you the chance to get 10% off your purchase* when you use the coupon code VICKILICIOUS001. Click the link below and check out their fabulous items and be sure to take advantage of the 10% off!

*10% off any item with the exception of the flower crown.

*Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this post. I was given a coupon code to purchase a Turban of my choice, all opinions are my own*

It’s not that I’ve never bought a lottery ticket before, because I definitely have.  I’m just not one of those people who plays regularly.  When I was a little girl my grandfather used to have his own “science” to the lottery system.  He used to have spreadsheets and charts and compare statistics of the odds and probability of numbers coming out … I would watch him in awe as it would take him hours to choose the numbers for the week. LOL.  But it kept him busy and he loved it, so it was a hobby for him.

This weekend, PowerBall skyrocketed to$550 million, I couldn’t help but buy a ticket … and even though I didn’t win the millions, I had fun fantasizing about what I would do with all that money.  Besides, you have to be in it to win it, right?!