My view from UP here...

For Flight Crews BY Flight Crews

2011-09-21T21:40:00.000-04:00

Calling ALL Flight Crews:

There's a new web sight in town, It's Called: ~ JetJoose

Have you ever asked your Flight Crew

"What is there to do in _______ (Insert City Name)?"

Where's the Best Happy Hour? Or the ever popular ...

DO WE GET A CREW DISCOUNT THERE????

If you are a Crew Member, Try this out, Tell us about your
Favorite Coffee Shops or Where can I find the best Vegan
Grocery Store ~ Who has the best breakfasts....???

Share your knowledge, & learn about ours....

Come On, Check Us Out!!

Shoepeg Corn Casserole

2010-11-26T15:19:00.000-05:00

Shoepeg Corn Casserole ...

Here's what you will need:

4 Cans of Shoepeg Corn

1 Stick of Butter

1 package of Cream Cheese

1/4 Cup of Milk

Cheddar Cheese

One Jalapeno

Paprika

I like Spice, Not heat ~ So the Jalapeno preference

is all up to your & your taste, This is a perfect amount for me & adds such a great flavor to the recipe.

On medium heat: Add your Cream Cheese, Butter & Milk
stir till creamy smooth ~~ Add your diced Jalapeno . .

Now, Add your Corn & A hand full of shredded cheese & Pour all of these ingredients into a greased oven safe dish.

Top with cheese...

Sprinkle with Paprika. . .

Bake @ 350 20 minutes

It's Delicious ~ Fast ~ Easy & you will impress your guests!

HAPPY HOUR!!!

2010-11-24T18:49:00.000-05:00

Cooking for Thanksgiving can wear you out, The Better Half & I decided it was time for an Adult Beverage. .
Texas Vodka & Target's Downtown Cranberry Cosmo.

See a theme here with "Cranberry's"?

~ CHEERS ~

What to do with Thanksgiving Cranberry Sauce

2010-11-24T13:23:00.000-05:00

You've seen it or You've done it

You open the Can & Dump it on a plate & Put it on the Table. . . Happy Thanksgiving!! Right?

~NOT~

While, I'm waiting on my Cake, for my Cake Balls to cool (Next Blog) ~ I'm sharing with you all, how I enjoy my Thanksgiving Cranberries...
I eat Cranberries once a year, Thanksgiving!!!

If I am going to eat them, I'm going to fix em up, Go ahead don't be scared...Impress your guests & Family!

I add a bit of Coconut, Pecans, Marshmallows, A splash of Orange Liqueur, Splash of Vanilla, 1/4 Cup of Cream Cheese & My Secret ~ (Don't tell anyone)

Some ground pepper!!

If you can make this the night before it's actually better, All of the flavors have time to blend. . . ENJOY!!!
It sure beats looking at this stuff flopped on a plate straight from the can!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Goulish Day in Czech Republic

2010-10-31T14:02:00.002-04:00

Happy Halloween Everyone

I thought I'd take a moment to share with you our day trip out of Prague, Considering it's Halloween I thought this was rather fitting to share with you "THE BONE CHURCH"!! Enjoy =)

Want to read more about > Kunta Hora

Happy Birthday: John Lennon

2010-10-09T11:46:00.000-04:00

On the 9th of October 1940 John Lennon was born, Today he would of turned 70, While we have millions of memories & reminders of John Lennon, You can actually legally be part of one in Prague, Czech Republic ~ Where you can find the

John Lennon Peace Wall

The Lennon Peace Wall came about shortly after John Lennon was killed in 1980. Under communism it morphed into an impromptu protest space. The secret police tried to stop the graffiti writers, but every day the wall seemed to be covered with new messages extolling the virtues of John Lennon instead of that other "Lenin." -Frommer's

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!!!

So if you happen to be walking around & enjoying Prague, Seek out the Lennon Peace wall. It's worth the effort to find this hidden gem.

Time you enjoy wasting,

-Was not Wasted! ~ John Lennon

Budapest Metro ~ EasyPeasy

2010-09-24T12:36:00.003-04:00

Getting around Buda & Pest is easy with the Metro system they have... You have 3 choices, Underground Sub, An above ground Tram or the Busses...

We purchased a 3 Day tourist card & loved that we could hop around town without having to stop & purchased anything else...

You can purchase a 1, 3 or 7 day tourist cards, They are only good for the BudaPest area, so if you are taking a day trip, You'll have to purchased an AddOn.

Also these tickets are NOT good for the Funicular, that is Extra as well!

The Metro stops are easily identified...

There are 3 Official lines in Budapest. . Metro 4 will be Officially UP & Running soon.

IS The Water safe to drink?

2010-09-24T11:59:00.002-04:00

The Better Half, Testing the Water!!

Heading to another country? Do you google...
"Is the Tap Water safe to drink??"

Do you? So Do I... Good to know!

Heading to Hungary, I had to google this tid bit of information:

Well, Is it... ? The answer is YES!!! Not only is the tap water safe to drink... We hear you can drink it straight from the Statues in town.. (He never got sick)

Okay, to me that is pushing the limits of a Safe & Fun holiday... but The Better Half decided to test the theory!

We actually saw several folks filling up their water bottles from the fountains in town..

You notice you do not see me drinking from any of these fountains, Like I told the better half. . . . When they have fountains dispensing WINE, Then I'll Drink!!!

Bakers Dozen? ~ NOT ~

2010-09-03T02:46:00.000-04:00

What's wrong with this Picture?

This is what you get at the local Budapest Supermarket for 98 Cents or (219 Forint)
And, Don't try to find a White Egg...
They don't have them!

Also on this subject, if anyone is reading this from Budapest, Can you tell me where you can find Peanutbutter?

Do you know your water?

2010-09-01T13:51:00.000-04:00

So, were standing in front of a Wall of Water ~

Has it happened to you??

"Which one do you want?" I ask my Better Half...

"I don't care, Pick One" He says.....

In Budapest, You have to pick your water according to the color of the lid...!!!

Good to know, I would like to Thank the gentleman who explained this to me at the local Spar Supermarket the other day, As a normal American, I'm pretty much used to flat water, (No Bubbles) In Europe you have choices:

This is where the Lids come into play:

Blue: Fizzy, Gas, Carbonated

Green: Less Fizzy, Less Gas, Mild Carbonation

Pink: Flat!!

Now you know, Hope I could help!

Don't even get me started on trying to find Coffee Filters.... Wow, Really?

We will stop here now, for WORDS!

2010-08-31T01:56:00.001-04:00

Greetings from Buda~Pest...

This is a fantastic city....
Beauty & History everywhere..

Yesterday we did our 1st official tour... We enjoy taking English speaking tours, while in other countries, It always provides a sense of humor. I am by no means making fun of the Tour Guides skill or use of the English language mind you, It's much better than my Hungarian, I just find it somewhat entertaining...

Today was no different, Every time we stopped Andrea our Tour Guide would say
"We will stop here now for words"

This phrase now will become part of our vocabulary, Just like when we were in Germany & the TourGuide apologized to us for the:

"JAM TRAFFIC"

Or just like in Buenos Aires everything was:

"VERY IMPORTANT"

Andrea knew her history & we enjoyed her tour very much:

It especially tickled us when Andrea would state:

"In every War.. Hungary has always picked the wrong side"

Something else we noticed is the memory is still real, when they speak of the Soviet Occupation.

I found the History of the Kings of Hungary very interesting. . Saint Stephen 975 to 1038 was the 1st King of Hungary is pictured above....

Isn't the Better Half Cute!

That is all for now, ....

I'm Sorry, I Understand...... Really??

2010-08-06T20:21:00.001-04:00

Do you over use the words:

I'm Sorry?

I Understand?

Well, STOP IT!

How many times have you called a Customer Service Department, Human Resource Department, Medical Office, Etc... Only to hear the Words:
"I'm sorry, I totally Understand"...

Do you really? Understand?, Are you really Sorry? More than likely the answer to this is "NO"..

I called my Base Planner, to request 2 days to be relocated to another part of the month. One of the best parts about being a Flight Attendant is the flexibility we have in our jobs ~ Well, not for the month of August! When I explained, that my husband would be arriving on his R&R from Afghanistan & that by moving those two days, I could arrive at the same time, instead of 4 days later, ... She replied:

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I understand"

Really, You do? Your husband is also in Afghanistan, I say to her....

My time off is what it is, I'm not happy about it, but i'll get through this, She has a job to do & I am just Venting!~

I'm just honestly asking, Can we just use I'm sorry & I understand when we really mean it?

I've heard: "I'm sorry, can you fasten your seatbelt?"
Why would we say, I'm sorry in that sentence? You'll be sorrier if you don't fasten your seat belt if we have turbulence.

At DFW (Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport) the other day, A passenger walks up to the gate, trying to ask a Flight Attendant a question...(our uniforms all look the same) The Flight Attendant without hesitation holds her hand up & says,

"I'm Sorry, I'm only a Flight Attendant I can't help you"

Whaaaa? ...that is totally unacceptable to me, I'm NOT Sorry I'm a Flight Attendant, I'm proud to be a Flight Attendant... The passenger only wanted to know if there was a Starbucks near!!!! Most Flight Attendants could of easily answered that question. 99.9% of the time, We as Flight Attendants can't answer passengers questions, but don't apologize for being a Flight Attendant!

I heard a lady at the grocery store the other day say: "Oh, I'm sorry, I only have a twenty?".. BE THANKFUL you have a twenty...

A child dies, and her friend says, "Oh, I understand what you are going through"... If you have not had a child die, You can't possibly understand what this grieving parent is going through. You can say "IT SUCKS", You could just sit there & hold their hand... But for the love of God, Stop saying you are Sorry & You Understand!

If you finished reading this, I'd like to Thank You for letting me VENT!!!

Next Cruise: Spoil Yourself . . .

2010-07-31T15:45:00.001-04:00

I know I scared a few folks during my last blog, by showing you a MRE....

I thought I'd share with you a Better memory!

On our last Celebrity Cruise, we opted to dine in the Speciality Resturant on our "At Sea" day..

Alot of other cruisers we speak to, refuse to pay the extra surcharge to dine in this resturant, They say

"We've already paid to eat, why should we pay extra?"

WHY?

I'll tell ya why... First off the food is far superior..

Secondly the service makes you feel like royalty..

Let's begin with the Salad, Doesn't this just look like a piece of art work? It really was a shame to eat it & Yes, it was as good as it looks! Below is TheBetterHalf salad, I think mine looks best:

Our salads were followed by my Goat Cheese Souffle,
Very decadent...Indeed..

Prior to your main course arriving, you will be offered an "Intermezzo" or a "Trou Normand" Fancy words meaning, to cleanse your palate prior to the GoodStuff arriving!!!

On tonights Menu, Surf & Turf:

Your dinner will be prepared table-side for your viewing pleasure. I cannot complain about cruise food, I've never lost any weight cruising, but this meal kicks it up to an even higher level, Especially if you want to spoil yourself's for one evening, your Birthday, an Anniversary or Just Cuz!

This evening wouldn't be complete without dessert now would it? However, we didn't order any, yet the staff refused to let us go, without something sweet!!! (Like we needed MORE food) =)

TheBetterHalf & I can both highly recommend the splurge, This sure bets an MRE!

Thanks Celebrity Cruise Lines.. It's always a pleasure!!!!

We can't wait for our next Cruise!

Great Question Layla! What's inside an MRE?

2010-07-27T19:09:00.000-04:00

Today, After I posted a picture of my Army Lunch, I received lots of questions
about: Meals Ready to Eat (MRE's)

Question: What is inside an MRE?

Today, my choice was Beef Brisket, There are several choices from Chicken & Dumplins to Pasta! MRE MENU: I've seen soldiers almost come to blows over MRE's... Especially the ones with M&M's in them!!! (My Favorite)

I like to start off with the Appetizer ..
Cheese & Crackers.. My favorite is PeanutButter & Crackers, I was not that lucky today... 2 Crackers: 180 Calories
Cheese Spread: 180 Calories

Also included in todays MRE:

Biscuit: 250 Calories ~ Cookie with Chocolate Discs 280 Calories & 2 Tootsie Rolls

The Biscuit was not half bad.... I passed on the cookie & I saved the Tootsie Rolls for a snack for later when I needed a treat!

This is your accessory pack: Moist Towelette, Butter Buds, IceTea, Salt & Chick-lets!

As I said: Today's meal was Beef Brisket with BBQ Sauce!
Calories: 210 + 25 if you add the BBQ Sauce..

It also included a "Meal Heater"
I will admit it does not look like much, Yet, it was scrumcious, Especially after I heated it up!

Another Question was: "Is it as good as Airline Food" ~ I guess that would depend on the airline, huh?

You can turn your nose up if you like, I will tell you, When you are hungry it's Good FOOD! Bon Appetit & HOOAH!

Are you a Non-Rev~er?

2010-07-16T12:56:00.000-04:00

Are you tired of trying to find a friend at another airline just to say:

"Hey, Can you look up flight loads for me?".

BEEN THERE DONE THAT

HAVE YOU TRIED www.nonrevcheckin.com ????

   This is one of my all time favorite web-sights, when I'm trying Non-Rev for fun or as a Commuter... Here you can check up to 130 airlines. Not only do I love that this web-sight will give you guidance to help determine if there is a shot of getting on a specific flight, I have found that it actually helps me in finding an alternate route & Airlines I was not even aware flew to the destination I was trying to get to or I might not have considered.. Trust me when I say, There are more than 17 ways to get to Barcelona!!!!

   If you actually use your flight bennies, You can't live without this web-sight!! Not only can it help you navigate flights, it also has goodies for Hotels, Rental Cars & ZedFare Info.

   And, Right now, It's on sale for 19.99 for a yearly membership & If you use my Coupon Code of "UpUp" you get 1.50 off!!

What are you waiting for?   I can't even begin to tell you of all the goodies this web-sight has!.. Go Take a Look...
Try the One Day free trial... Test em out!

Plane Tea?

2010-07-02T14:40:00.000-04:00

Yesterday during our beverage service: Mr.14A asks for a "Plain Tea". . . . ~~Easy Enough~~. . .NOT!

I pour Mr.14A his tea, Place the napkin down, set his tea down & Mr14A gives me this look, like I'm an Alien..

"I WANT MILK IN IT"

HE DEMANDS: ~~ Now here is where I started to giggle: What does Plain Tea mean to you?

I brought him the milk, I let him pour, because I'm guessing at this point I will either put in way to much or not enough & I will get that LOOK again~!

I just want to use my blog today as a public announcement: Flight Attendants are not given a mental telepathy class, we do not, nor have we ever been able to read your minds....

When ordering your beverage of choice on the aircraft, Speak Up,,, Let us know what you want..

We'll be glad to get it for you!!

I say this on behalf of all Flight Attendants, We do NOT know how you like your Tea, Coffee, BloodyMary, Coke with lime, OrangeJuice with club...Etc..Ect..

After, Mr14A hands me back the milk ...snarling..

he Barks: "SUGAR????"

Sure thing: Mr14A ~ I brought him ONE Sugar!

**So, from now on, to me PLANE TEA is Plain Tea with Milk & Sugar, Thank You Mr14A for the Comic Relief maybe you have just started a new trend!**

Okay, Now for the Real Granville Island

2010-06-23T10:46:00.002-04:00

I admit the last Blog: Things that make you go, Huh! all took place at Granville Island, Now I would like to share with you, some of our highlights of our day: Granville Island

Is an absolute must while visiting Vancouver, Canada.

There is something for everyone here.

We decided to start at the Public Market

You can easily compare this to Pikes Market in Seattle

However, Granville blows it away. .

Looks like any Market as you step inside

Checking out all of the wonderful Flowers, Fruits, Veggies & Baked Goodies can work up a bit of a hunger,,,, Snack Time.

We found the perfect little Coffee Shop just at the end of the public market:

We grabbed our Coffee, TheBetterHalf's Chocolate Chip Cookie & My Chocolate Coconut Macaroon stepped outside to enjoy the glorious view of the Harbour: There were

hundreds upon hundreds of folks milling about, with no doubt delights that would be prepared for an evening snack. Dogs had brought their owners out for a great day in the sun.

One of our Favorite shops in the market was called:

The Stock Market

They had everything you could possibly think of to get you started on a great meal or dessert!

My favorite part of the day, was getting side tracked & a bit turned around (aka: lost) We ended up back at the water & found these adorable house boats,,,,

Can you say Adorable!!!

Even the Cement Trucks in Granville Island are pretty!

They have a Cute lil water park as well,,,
I just had to snap this photo!! =)

Things that make you go: HUH????

2010-06-20T01:01:00.000-04:00

While strolling through Granville Island Market

today TheBetterHalf & I ran across a few

interesting things, I thought I should share

a few of them with you all...

Wait till you see the last pic!!

I can honestly say, I've never eaten anything called a FIDDLEHEAD!

I like Asparagus, I might try this one.

Ummmm, NO!

Now, I always threw this part away!!

I have NO Idea,, Nor did they, It didn't have a sign,,, ANYONE?

Gooseberries, I think NOT!

Dragon & Fruit: Hmmmmmmmm

I Saved the Best for Last:

Self Explanatory: It's a Banana Keeper!!!!

(What were you thinking?)

Vancouver is Great, But we like Richmond, Canada!

2010-06-19T12:50:00.001-04:00

For the 1st couple of days TheBetterHalf & I spent our time in Vancouver, Then we moved to a rather quaint (Cheaper) location in Canada called Richmond, This area turned out to be a nice surprise...

It's on the River, & TBH loves it.

We asked where to go for lunch, Selema at the hotel said we HAD to go to Blue Canoe..

This is the "Blue Canoe" Location was on the Pier, Scenery was Fantastic, Service was great, Their Hamburger could use a little work!!

We parked here for just a little while, It's right across the water from Vancouver (YVR) Airport!!!

************** The Following are just signs that
made me giggle**************

Mix??? Mixed What??

Nudist Colony???

Buck & EAR???

And, Who would not appreciate a sign actually telling the dogs to Have FUN!!!

Now We know the Answer to this Age Old Question!

2010-06-17T23:44:00.001-04:00

So the Better Half & I are taking a Mini-Break in Vancouver, Canada (B.C.), BetterHalf tells me he'd like to take a day trip to Whistler....

Awesome I think to myself ,,,

A roadtrip within a roadtrip,,,

As we arrive into Whistler, We see the sign for the

"Olympic Village"...

I so wanna see that, So we hang a left & off to the Village we go!

We get to the Village to see a

CLOSED SIGN!

Disappointed... We head back to Whistler... When we spot the

FOLLOWING:

On the side of the road: I scream to the BetterHalf:

"BEAR~~~BEAR"

A Momma Bear & Her 2 Babies,,,,, How Precious. .
Okay, the SideTrip was so worth it!!!

So now, Here is the reason for the Blog:

"Does a Bear, Poop in the Woods?"

We've Busted the Myth:

I'm applying for MythBusters....

Ahhh,,,, "NO"

Actually, They Poo on the Road,,,

This is what I do as a Blogger, I go to great lengths for my readers,,, HA HA HA HA!!

(I hope you see the humor in this, As I did)

Just so you know, You can now fly into Whistler:

Yes!! They have their very own Airline!!

The BetterHalf was dying to jump into this

aircraft & take off....

*** If you're on a road trip in the near future, make sure you stop at Shannon Falls, You'll see it right before you enter the city of Squamish, It's worth the stop!! ***

Thanks for looking.... Laters**

Only another CrewMember can appreciate. . . .

2010-06-04T22:06:00.002-04:00

We're departing New York, Heading to Chicago: On climb out Flight Attendant call button goes off
Passenger asks: "Will we be landing in Chicago time or New York time?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Next day during our beverage service: (1:36 minute flight)

Me: Care for something to drink?

Passenger: Yes, I'd like a Coke & I'd like you to bring it to me in an HOUR...

Me: In an hour, You can purchase your Coke in the Terminal.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Summer is upon us. . This is going to be Fun!

Not all passengers just give us their trash!

2010-05-31T13:55:00.003-04:00

Breakfast is over & I'm picking up trays...

Mostly when passengers are finished they are eager to have us remove their trash & even when I'm a passenger I want my trash removed quickly so I can get down to the important movie watching on my flight: I wanted to share with you, what I encountered on todays flight:

Thank You: Ms 4A, for making me smile today!

Ghurka Meter

2010-05-31T11:30:00.001-04:00

Memorial Day is upon us again & I'm honored to add to my blog today, Words from my better half in Kabul, Afghanistan!!

Honey, You are my HERO, I adore you.....Hurry Home~

* * * * * * * * * *

I love my guys from Nepal…….but…….they are definitely different from us (expats)…..just go in the mess hall…you will see what I mean…I don’t mind eating by myself…I actually prefer it….its my quiet time..so I find a table way in the back….there is a bookshelf about five feet tall behind it…and that is where I sit…ahhh….peace and quiet……then it happens……“Meester meester…why u heer….you no freends“….”No really…I’m fine!”

“Weee come seet wid you….okay!!”….”Really guys…I’m alright!!”……I now have thirteen Ghurkas sitting next to me at a table designed for eight…..its very cozy…sigh…..they all practice their english on me…..they think they are speaking english…I have no idea what they are saying…I just nod a lot…

I pray for night shift..here is why…during the day at my outside posts…..I am surrounded by Ghurkas…..I have one off to my left…about 20 feet away…..I have one behind me..he’s 50 feet away…and let’s not forget the one to the right…about 30 feet away…

Now this wouldn’t be a problem except…you guessed it….they want to talk…..and after speaking with me for five minutes…I’m exhausted….they then talk with each other….I now have Ghurka stereo for the next hour and ten minutes….yahhhhh!!!
Now these are the same guys that were on break together during the last rotation…I can only imagine what they’re saying….”So Nishka…..have you heard from your family back in Nepal…I mean since we last talked ten minutes ago….noo….that is too bad…..Ghangi…I am looking forward to my curry baloney sandwich for lunch….I will trade you my sandwich for your unrecognizable cabbage hotdog and a pound of rice…..

“Kinko…….I am looking forward to sitting with the poor American who has no friends….the one with no hair and big head…yes..he is very ugly…….he must be very saaad…maybe tonight we can get 18 Ghurka at the table instead of 13...this will make him very happy…I think!!

As I sit stand there at my post…putting in my earplugs….I think we should do an experiment….here’s my plan……each hour slowly move the Ghurka post farther from each other….you know …lets say ten feet…..initially what would happen is my Ghurkas would just talk louder….and louder…..now shouting…then there would be beautiful silence…..I’m thinking 100 feet will do the trick…

This is about the same range I can throw a grenade or shoot my pistol accurately (unlike my better half….I am a lousy shot with my pistol…that is why I figure they give me three magazines)….so now you see the importance of my findings….right…okay let me explain…my Ghurka meter is like having my own range finder….I now know the range to engage the bad guys or make myself another cup of coffee…

I going to the boss with my thesis…..maybe I’ll get a coin…..like Billy….and all he did was detain the wrong guy who happened to look a lot like a terrorist…..loser!
until then…

stereo boy signing off….

So you want to be an Army Ranger?

2010-05-17T17:39:00.000-04:00

All Rangers are 6 foot or taller …chiseled muscles…and ruggedly handsome….well…in the movie version anyway…most Rangers I knew never saw 5 foot 10…more like 5 foot 7 or 8. The one or two words I would describe Rangers would be either scrawny or wiry…depending who gave the description.

Handsome….not on your life…the word that comes to mind is homely…or if your not kind; the term butt-ass ugly would be sufficient. I will never forget my squad leader seeing me for the first time….“Private…if I had a dog as ugly as you…I would shave his ass and make him walk backwards……I guess you’ll do! I was actually happy to hear this…I knew I was going to fit in.
There were only a couple of soldiers in the Battalion who could fit the movie mold. One of these soldiers was Specialist Kegler…one of the largest…strongest specimens of a human being I have ever seen. His helmet looked ridiculous on his huge head…it looked like a child’s beenie helmet. He was also the Battalion boxing champ….he would literally pummel his opponents into a pile of quivering flesh…then they would collapse…cool!

But Specialist Kegler had his weaknesses…..actually several….phobias…Kegler was afraid of the dark like nobody else I have ever seen….and even better than that..he was also deathly afraid of snakes….or as his roommate would say…”He’s sceered of them thar snakes.”….He also was not fond of leaping out of a perfectly good airplane….I really can’t fault him on this last one…Kegler probably weighed 240 pounds without his equipment…once you put a machine gun on him and all the other required gear we had to carry…I’m sure he exceeded 350 pounds when he left the airplane…our T-10 parachutes were good but I’m sure he still hit like a ton of bricks….somebody once told me that after Kegler hit…there was a small crater at the impact point…darn!
So now let us put all these factors together….in the Battalion…we normally jumped at night…with a full combat load….into the swamps of Georgia…where there are thousand of poisonous snakes. So it wasn’t a surprise to any of us when poor Kegler did not last long in Charlie Company.

So it was in our best interest… as far as entertainment went…that we should capitalize on this poor man’s phobias …at every opportunity… Now that may sound cruel and unusual…but at the time…it seemed perfectly normal….remember….we had to be able to depend on everybody to carry his own weight…no weak sisters allowed…even if he weighed 240 pounds and could pummel all of into something resembling hamburger.

A couple of events come to mind….we had just jump onto Taylor Creek Drop Zone…it was early fall in 1974.…and we were heading into one of the many swamps that surrounded the drop zone…when somebody spotted a huge Water Moccasin wrapped around a small branch maybe ten feet up in the tree….this guy was a beauty….close to four feet long and as big around as my arm….his head looked like it was the size of a baseball…and boy…was he grouchy! We immediately dropped our rucks and grabbed pine sticks to poke and jab at the poor snake….Weapons Squad, Third Platoon, Charlie Company needed a mascot and this snake seemed an excellent candidate for that position. Now for the plan…we would catch him…place him in a waterproof bag…and when we stopped to set up our ORP…we would let him out and play with him….this was the plan until we could get him back to the barracks and get him into a proper home….like somebody’s footlocker.

So picture this….there are seven or eight scrawny Rangers jumping up into this tree and poking at a poisonous snake. Kegler, of course, would not come near our activities….he was standing twenty feet away with his hands in his pockets and still carrying his 90 pound rucksack like it was a purse….his helmet sitting on top of his skull like a child’s party hat. …and then it happened…Shufelt got a good poke at the snake and flung him out of the tree….we all watched the snake go airborne….flipping end over end..as if in slow motion….then it hit its unwary target….Kegler….smack dab in the chest….plop! Well…..a couple of things happened…the snake was irritated and had enough Ranger fun for one afternoon and after hitting Kegler in the chest…dropped to the ground and wiggled off to safety of a small creek…..
　
Kegler…on the other hand….had other ideas….I will never forget what happened next….Kegler’s rucksack and M60 machine gun were suspended in midair…it reminded me of a scene from a Daffy Duck/Elmer Fudd cartoon….Kegler never broke stride….we finally caught him over a quarter of a mile away…Kegler was never quite right after that incident…for the next couple of nights…we had to attach a rope to him…he seemed to be in a trance…kept mumbling about “snakes everywhere!”….of course he was mistaken…the snakes were only in the wet areas…..come to think of it…I just described Fort Stewart…hmmm…maybe Kegler had a point.

Ranger Rogers signing off…

Angry Joe

2010-05-10T14:42:00.004-04:00

WARNING; NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT OR PG RATED...READ AT OWN RISK!

Angry Joe..

On the project..it would be safe to say that we have some real characters….but think about it…characters are the type of people who come to these God-forsaken places…they tend not to do so well in general society…

I would see this time and time again in the military…guys who were your star performers in a tactical situation…would be the first ones on the MP blotter report when we received a little free time back at the fort. Doing wheelies on your motorcycle through the Post Headquarter’s flowerbed does not help a soldier’s popularity rating…except among his peers…we all thought it was funny!

Here in Kabul…One of our characters here is fondly referred to as Angry Joe….Joe has over 26 years active military service…retired as a First Sergeant versus a Sergeant Major because he probably told a General to get bent!

No matter what kind of horrible day you might be having…Angry Joe will always top it….”Joe I think I sprained my ankle on the curb outside.” “That aint shit…..the g--damn Afghan Police clipped me with his f---ing motorcycle and now I think I’ve compressed my spinal cord…I probably have a concussion and I’m constipated… so stop your whining you sissy!”

Now a conversation like this will happen at least once a day…therefore….the endearing nickname “Angry Joe” has stuck for our retired First Sergeant….oh…and one other thing…Joe is homophobic….which is great ammo for Billy and I….it’s actually impossible for us not to put a jab in…just to see Joe’s expressions and of course the replies he always has for us…which are colorful to say the least…

Joe talks like John Wayne…he uses that pause in his presentation to really place special emphasis on a certain swear word….you know…so it has extra special meaning…unlike the other hundred times you hear the word !!

Now here is the best part…Joe likes me….it’s not that I have done anything special to gain his acceptance…I think he just dislikes me less than anybody else here…so now were buds. …he barely tolerates Billy…(Joe doesn’t like people who live in Colorado…thinks they‘re uppity)

Off to Camp Eggers today….why you ask….because we can!” Plus Billy needed a case of his Monster energy drinks…so he drags me along to help him carry them….I usually get a coffee (ground not instant) out of the deal…I’m in!

As were walking past Angry Joe’s barracks….he is almost finished with his first pack of cigarettes (it’s 9am)…the butts are heaped up into a neat little pile by his foot. ”Hey Sh-tbirds….where the hell are you two going.” …. “Were going to Eggers”…..”Well hell…I think I’ll tag along…you two retards don’t have a problem with that…do you?”

“No First Sergeant…I mean Joe (old habits die hard)…..our driver pulls up…he is actually the relief driver….he is replacing Mohammad……are you ready for this…his name is Mohammad Mohammad….no joking! So off in the van we go with Mohammad Mohammad….us three and four terrified Ghurkas….I believe they think Joe eats Ghurkas for a light snack…”Get in the back…and be quiet!”….and this is Joe talking to Billy and I.

I was going to protest but I actually like the view from the third seat….really!!

We get to Eggers..no drama to mention…same as always…the roads were completely congested and packed with humanity…everything from toyota vans…bicycles…dump trucks…pedestrians…donkey carts…so we did what we normally do…we call our driver all sorts of questionable names…of course we question his manhood….and basically be complete morons to this poor guy….this causes Mohammad Mohammad to prove us wrong….he drives like a certified madman! On the median…over a sidewalk…through a field….across a ditch…watch the goat!…..you know…the normal stuff.

We think he doesn’t mind our harmless pranks…I guess when he doesn’t show up to take us back to Sully…we’ll know he’s reached his limit…until then…he’s ours!!

As planned…Billy gets his Monster drinks…I get my coffee…and Joe buys all the cigarettes behind the counter…like 12 cases….that should last him a week or so…

We get back to the pick-up area for the van…..for some reason….the little hoodlums that normally pester us are keeping their distance……I think they have had dealings with Joe and don’t need the aggravation….they would be better off trading with the Taliban!

Oh Gee...our driver is late (what a surprise!)…..Joe now feels the need to bond…..

”Hey Jack…you ever serve in Germany?”….

“Yeah Joe…I was in the Berlin Brigade…

“Oh..you were in that spit-n-polish sissy unit…no wonder you’re the way you are!“…(Joe has such a special way of making you feel part of the conversation.)

“You see Jack…I was in a man’s unit….I was a Cav Soldier….and I better not hear any laughing from you two D-ckwads!….blah….blah….blah…blah“

I sip on my coffee…..nod politely…..that is what you do with Joe…

Joe now has come to the most crucial part of any soldier story…describing the women that he supposedly dated....describing the wild parties that only exist in a soldier’s over active imagination....

At this point in the conversation Joe is talking directly to me….as if I was actually interested….

“Yeah Jack….the reason I did so well with the ladies is because I had two rules about dating …..but dammit….one time I violated my own rules….the first one was never date a chick in your own unit……and…..(this is where Joe used his John Wayne pause)…..well too bad for Joe because Billy jumps in and says “And the other one was to never have sex with a man!”

Immediately coffee comes shooting out of every orifice in my head….unfortunately I was in mid gulp when Billy dropped this bombshell…

The look on Joe’s face was priceless…..I’m not sure if the comment bothered him that much…but me laughing so hard kinda got to him....I actually think I peed on myself..

“So Sh-tHead…this is the way it is…and I thought we were f--------- buds!”

“Joe…I didn’t say anything!”

“Just for that…..we’re not buds anymore!!”

THANK YOU BILLY!

Angry Joe’s former bud…signing off…

Next Monday: Roger's Rangers