My Weight-Loss Journey

New Inspiration

2013-05-18T14:50:00.001-07:00

Well it's been a crazy few weeks since my last post. Two vacations, 42 hours of driving, and 9 days of hotels. Needless to say there's been a major lack of exercise and clean eating lately. Now that we're back I'm slowly remembering how much happier l am in mind, body and spirit when I'm eating more nutritious food than fast food.

I'm noticing a cycle with myself. Eat great, train hard, lose 10 lbs, reward myself with food... gain 10lbs... I gotta break this cycle, people! Still figuring this one out, but I'm glad I'm aware of it,

This morning my munchkin and I got to watch my mother-in-law cross the finish line of her first race. She's always been a walker, or at least as long as I've known her, but lately she's been pushing herself more. It was so invigorating being there. Like the beginning of "Love, Actually", when they're in the airport and all you see is love. There was sweat, of course, and tears (a few of them my own), but looking around me I saw and felt an overwhelming amount of love, support, comradery, and respect. These were 3,500 people of all shapes and sizes, all stages of life, who came together to celebrate simply *moving*. Simply being *alive*. To say I was deeply moved by this is an understatement. I cried tears of joy as I watched perfect strangers do what their bodies were made to do. Breathe, move, live.

l left the park with my 2yo in tow feeling renewed, motivated, inspired... ready. I'm ready. I have no doubt I was put on this planet to be the best mommy, wife, daughter, sister and friend I can be. But my body was created to move.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life.....

2013-04-25T11:15:00.001-07:00

Last night we had my mother-in-law come over to Munchkin-sit for a couple of hours. I now realize how much we're striving to change our habits, because instead of going to Old Chicago (*drool*) and a movie, we went on a "gym date". 30 minutes of cardio followed by an AMAZING 60 minutes of strength-yoga. I could literally feel the negativity leaving my mind and my pores (in the form of enormous sweat drops).

I took too many days off recently. I did great last week until Friday, when an out-of-town friend came to visit and we were having way too much fun eating crap and hitting up the thriving metropolis of Boise to do any exercise or eat anything green. I ended up not exercising Fri, Sat or Sun. I did my couch to 10k on Monday, but no Jillian until Wednesday, so I went almost an entire week without her. She tortured me for it though, don't you worry.

Last night when Andrew and I went to the gym we did our couch to 10k week 2 day 1. I. Wanted. To. Die. Not literally of course, but holy cow. For a 240something lbs woman "sprint" (probably a light jog to most other people) for 90 seconds straight is not an easy feat. It was painful. I told my mom I almost turned into one of those blubbering women on The Biggest Loser. It was SO hard, and such a GOOD reminder of why I'm doing it (and that I need new running shoes.) It's hard because of the life I've lived the last several (several x several) years. A life of eating entire pints of Haagen Dazs in one sitting. A life of going weeks at a time of sitting on the couch. A life of self-pity and poor excuses. Yet here I am, trying to turn it around.

I realized yesterday this is the first time I've really taken this into my own hands. Since losing weight and changing things 4 years ago with a very involved personal trainer, I haven't really "tried" on my own. The task of taking responsibility for myself has been too daunting, too overwhelming, too easy to ignore. But I finally feel like I'm getting it. Like I'm on my way to fantastic things. *Pats self on back*

I'm really excited to weigh and do my measurements on Monday. I don't even know if anything will be that different. I feel different, in my mind. And I'm feelin' gooooood.....

Take #3275

2013-04-15T16:25:00.002-07:00

Here I am again, two months since my last post (smh). Why can't I be one of these super hip moms who updates her blogs weekly and somehow magically turns it into a career? I envy them.

So here's what's been going down in Hayley town. You won't be surprised to hear that I didn't stick to any of my pledges the last time I posted. Andrew and I went on a weekend vacation to Portland to see his sister. We obviously weren't going to even try to eat nutritious things, because when I think of a 6 hour car trip, Cheezits and powdered sugar gas station donuts come to mind. We had a blast but didn't do anything active for the entire month of March, really. Andrew hurt his back (and we all know how boys can be when they're "injured" or "sick"...), so there was no chance of getting him to the gym. Owen got sick so I wasn't going to take him to the day care center or pawn him off on a grandparent who would inevitably catch whatever he had. No, no, I took the easy way out. Took off my Fitbit, set it on my counter and didn't look back the entire month. I also delved deep back into my Pepsi and French fries habit. Yuck! I mean yum, but yuck!

I managed to lose 15 pounds over the course of February and part of March, actually, but for the last month I haven't really been weighing on a regular basis. If I don't weigh daily, I don't weigh at all. So this morning I slithered like a slug with a Papa Murphy's hangover from my bed to the scale. And you know what that a-hole said? EIGHT POUNDS UP. So that sucked. But, instead of going to Dutch Bros. and playing Candy Crush for the rest of the day, I made myself a little protein shake, cued up some Body Revolution (THANK YOU Amy!) and let Jillian tell me what to do for the next half hour. After that I went to the gym for a Couch to 5k date with my sis-in-law. And you know what? I feel great! I wanted to cry a little bit toward the end of my intervals, but I survived.

I'm not making promises anymore to anyone but myself. When I was struggling through the running intervals on the treadmill I kept imagining a friend or family member or trainer saying, "You've got this girl! Almost there!" but really, if I'm being honest, that did nothing for me. What DID help was just listening to my own inner voice tell me, "I've got this. I'm almost there." So, this is for me. I know there are people I want to impress, as we all do, but really, this is for me. I'm allowed to be selfish with this one.

So, here is my revised plan. It's organized, it's easy to accomplish, and it makes me feel good.
MWF: Couch to 5k at the gym.
M-Sat: Jillian Michaels Body Revolution (90-day program)
Tues: Strength training with personal trainer.

Here are my "new" before pictures. I wanted something to reference while I'm doing this 90 workout. I plan to take a new set ever 30 days. I took these today in the gym bathroom with my phone, so they're not that great. And I made sure nobody was around so I wouldn't look like a pervert. I also have a set of before photos from last fall that are just... the worst... so nobody will be seeing those until I'm "at goal".

There it is...

That arm is a FULL two inches larger than the left. Blegh.

I promise I'm not five months pregnant.

Blackout! Oh wait, that's just my ginormously wide arse.

My latest measurements are this:
Starting weight: 252
Current weight: 245.6
Arms: R 17" L 15" (seriously?)
Shoulders (from across the tops of my armpit chub and over my arms): 52"
Chest: 44"
High waist: 38.5"
Low waist: 46"
Hips: 52"
Thighs: R 32: L 31" (there it is again...)
Knee chub (if you don't have it, be thankful): both sides 19"
Calves (calfs?): R 17" L 18"

Well if those photos and measurements don't scare you away, stay tuned! I'll definitely update in 30 days, if not sooner. Happy Monday!

I'm Back In the Saddle Again.........

2013-02-12T11:13:00.002-08:00

Not really, but I'm trying to try. The last two weeks have been just..... chaos. Lots of sicky germs going around our house. Everything from norovirus to a sinus infection to some really nasty cough. At this point in time I am not doing anything physical. I can't take Munchkin to the gym because of his germs, and Andrew is back to working a normal 8-5 schedule. It was a lot easier to leave Owen with him when he was getting home by four. Now I'm starting dinner as he's getting home. And, I know, I could totally be one of those women who gets up at the crack of dawn to go work out before he leaves for work or at 9 at night after O is in bed. But nope! Not gonna be me. I want this, I want to lose weight and be fit and feel good, but I don't want to sacrifice any more time with my family. When Owen is 100%, we'll go to the gym. Until then, DVDs and the elliptical will have to cut it.

Now, on the food front, bug and viruses in the house have led to complete laziness and lack of creativity. We've done everything from ordering pizza to eating cinnamon/sugar toast for dinner. Lazy, right? Honestly, I enjoyed every bite of everything I ate and every sip of poisonous soda and coffee creamer. But, my body didn't. Lots of weird gastric issues going on in there.

All that to say, I weighed myself this morning for the first time in almost two weeks. I expected to be back at square one, back up close to 250. I wouldn't have been surprised, considering the billions of calories I've consumed. But nope! 241.6. I was 240.6 two weeks ago. Shocked? Yes I was. Only a pound after all of that garbage and sitting. Needless to say, I don't feel discouraged and loathsome of myself like I thought I would. Instead, I feel good. I feel like this is a great starting point to get back in the game, and in a week's time I could easily be in the 230s, which I haven't seen since shortly after Owen was born. Here we go!

This week I pledge to:

-Drink 96oz of water per day.
-Eat a piece of fruit or veggie with each meal
-Do elliptical twice
-Do a DVD once

I'm easing myself back into it. I also have some non-fitness-related goals I'll share with you.

-Put away all of our laundry (seriously, it's out of control.)
-Vacuum/mop every surface possible.

That's it! I've gotten SO behind with our house. I mean, I've never been your typical cleaning-machine house wife anyway, but right now the house is just out of control.

ANYWAY, enough with the house. Hope you all have a great week! Do something positive for yourselves!

On My Way to 10k!

2013-01-16T15:06:00.002-08:00

Hello everyone! I hope you've had a great week since I last updated.

Since I last posted I have:
- Started a Zero to 10k running program
- Decided to *attempt* a half-marathon in June (yikes!)
- Lost half a pound (or 2 1/2 lbs, depending on which day I weighed...)
- Only taken one day off

So let me expand on these a bit. Before this last week I was exercising 3-4 days per week. Nothing was happening to my weight (besides going up a little, as I pointed out last week) despite the exercise and eating well *most* of the time. Last Friday I was having a little bit of a bummer day (and a lazy one, at that). I was planning to skip exercise that day until I found out my sister-in-law would be going to the rec center that night. So I put on my big girl panties (literally) and went to meet her. I did what was actually Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5k and LOVED it. It was hard, brutal towards the end because I have zero stamina or endurance, but I was determined and felt really fantastic afterward. Like I could conquer anything. It made me realize that things are harder at this weight, I'm uncomfortable and my body is in pain because of what I've put it through the last several years. But, at the same time, it helped me realize the discomfort I feel doing day-to-day things is no excuse to sit around and not take care of myself. It also helped me realize my body is more capable of some things than I give/gave it credit for.

The half-marathon thing is something my mom and I talked about doing last year. She's fit and healthy and I'm sure would be able to walk 13 miles no problemo. But the weeks of "training" came and went and pretty soon I was out of time. Being so out of shape I knew that I didn't want to attempt walking 13 miles. It would've been too hard a feat, mentally and physically. This year, however, I believe I can do it. My sister-in-law is excited about get healthy and fit again and she and I started the Zero to 10k program. It's roughly 10 weeks long, and from there I'll start a half-marathon event training program that's 12 weeks long. We're about 22 weeks away from the half so it's good timing I suppose. Right now I'm planning to run half of the half marathon. About 6 1/2 miles. If I can do more by then, great. If not, it will still be an incredible accomplishment. I've always envied runners. In all their huffing and puffing glory they usually seem at peace and like it's a real joy for them. I've always admired their commitment when it's 30 degrees outside, or 95 degrees outside, or 6 o'clock in the morning. I hope I can adopt that persistence and drive someday.

Last week we had pizza four times. Crazy, right? Once we made it here, once we ordered, and twice we had it at someone else's house. When we were NOT eating pizza I was eating really quite well, and that plus the treadmill paid off for a half pound loss this week from last Wednesday.

Weight this week: 243.4

I'm getting verrrry impatient about breaking through into the 230s and have made it a goal to be at 239 or lower by the end of the month. Two weeks, four pounds. I think I can do it. The running I've been doing on the treadmill has shown me how I should feel when I'm doing cardio. The program pushes me to the brink of death before giving me a tiny break and then torturing me again. Normally when I'm on my elliptical in the safe and private confines of my own home I go at a leisurely pace, in comparison. So what I'm trying to say is, the Zero to 10k program is pushing me harder than I would choose to push myself. I think this will pay off.

On a different note, I've been logging my work outs in a calendar on my kitchen table with stickers. I've found that I really like seeing more stickers than blank spaces and at the end of the month I'll be happy to post a photo here of the sticker-filled January as well as my measurements and progress pics for the month.

I hope you all have an awesome week, and make more good choices than poor ones!

Holding onto the Towel, Nice and Tight.

2013-01-09T09:07:00.002-08:00

What I mean by that is, I am not "throwing in the towel". This has been a weird and somewhat eye-opening week for me. I started out the week (last Wednesday) with a weight of 245.0. I was full of motivation to work my butt off and break through that five for this week's weigh in. I hit the gym Wednesday for the first time and broke a great sweat doing some cardio. The next day I tried my hand at a spin class with my sister-in-law. We did great, got a fantastic work out and went waddling on our way. Friday I had a busy day but squeezed in 35 minutes on my elliptical and walked quite a bit in the evening. Saturday I went back to the rec center with Andrew and Munchkin. I took my first yoga class and loved it! After yoga, Owen was having a bit of a meltdown and we left. When he went down for a nap that afternoon I did 50 minutes on my elliptical. Sunday we had a lunch date planned at P.F. Chang's, so in the morning I got up early and did 35 minutes on my elliptical before church (I believe that was a first). Monday night I went to my first step class. It was much more difficult than I expected it to be... not necessarily because of the exercising part was extremely hard, but because I wasn't expecting it to be choreographed and so quick-paced. Yesterday I had planned on doing elliptical during Munchkin's nap, but after the previous six days of activity and exercise (that my body is NOT used to) I ended up using it as a recovery/rest day.

So. All this to say, starting with my weight at 245.0 last Wednesday, the number crawled up, and up, and up throughout the week, ounce by ounce. What the %#@! ?? Were my meals perfect? Of course not. But did I eat more veggies and less processed crap in that week than I have in months? Definitely! So you can see why I'm confused. I've kept my calories between 1300-1600 every. Single. Day. I haven't exercised so much in one week in about three years. Back then, the weight seemed to "fall off". I don't know why I'm having a harder time this time around.

My weight this morning: 243.8 (-1.2lbs)

I'm thrilled to be under the 5, and even more thrilled at the idea of being in the 230s for the first time since I was pregnant (although at this rate it'll be June before I've lost those four pounds!)

That being said, I'm not finished yet. The me of 12, 6, 3 months ago would've given up already. And I'm just not there. I have other factors driving me and giving me motivation other than the shape of my body right now, and that's what this post is about.

- Exercise makes me feel good. Doesn't matter what it is or if I'm enjoying it in the moment, if I can start and finish a work out, I feel proud of myself. I feel more energized. I feel confident. Those are all wonderful things!
- My insides are changing. I might not see progress in the mirror right now, but I can feel it in little things, like the way my digestive system is happy and not giving me any issues, and the quality of sleep I'm getting, and the fact that I can actually ride on a stationary bike for 55 minutes without falling over.
- My son. I look at my son and covet his energy and his ability to constantly move. I want to foster this in him as he grows in any way I can, and that will require me to be more active. I want to keep up with him and set good examples for him as he ages, that having fun doesn't necessarily mean sitting in front of the television or videogames or computer (like so many kids today think). Andrew and I share a past that involved playing outside, riding bikes/rollerblades, sharing family meals at the same table, reading books, playing sports (or at least trying, in my case). These are all things we want for our kids and it will be harder to set that example if we're both a couple of lazy, sedentary duds.
- My future. It has taken six years to gain almost exactly 100 pounds. It terrifies me, petrifies me, sickens me to think about what life for me would be like in another six years if I don't change this path. I want more children, I want to grow old with Andrew, I want to travel and love on grandbabies and possibly great-grandbabies, God-willing. None of these things are possible without health, and I need to be controlling as much of my health as is humanly possible.

Wow. I'm glad I did this today. I can't say it's not all about numbers on a scale or a pair of jeans, because the fact of the matter is that I am currently in the "obese" category and need to drop my body fat percentage about 10%. I can't say I don't care what I look like or that I'd be perfectly happy as a 16 or 14 or 12 for my entire life. But I can say that I know physical activity and a healthy, nutritious diet play a big part in the life I want for myself and my family. So, week by week, whether I see a drop on the scale or not, if I know I've put in the hours at the gym, if I know I've broken several good sweats, if I know I've eaten more green foods than brown, that's what matters. I surrender myself to that.

On a completely different note, I finally took my side-by-side photo. For whatever reason, it doesn't seem to want to upload to this page. I can tell you, though, that seven pounds and 6.5 inches has made a difference, albeit slight, that I can see. My tummy looks a little flatter, but my butt looks higher, if that's at all possible. So I guess the classes and the resistance training are helping back there! Now, if only it would shrink a bit....

2013!

2013-01-02T13:45:00.004-08:00

Here we are in January 2013. How did this happen? Wasn't it September, like, yesterday? Well regardless of how fast time is flying by, I am SO excited for what this year will bring for our family. This year I live within 30min of all of my siblings (which has never happened in our adult lives). This means I can see my nephews any day of the week, I have a new work out buddy (my lovely sis-in-law Angela), and I am surrounded by love!

Another thing I'm excited about regarding 2013- fitness transformation! Andrew and I were gifted a family membership at the rec center here in town, only about five minutes away from here. We set it up Saturday and today Owen and I went for our first work out. I exercised while he exercised his manners in the childcare center. This was the first time I've left him in any form of daycare. I was pretty nervous about it, but the moment we walked in he took off for the toys and play houses. When I picked him up almost an hour later he ran to me, took my hand and led me out of the childcare area. Guess he was ready to go! On our way out he said he had fun (actually he said "yes" when I asked if he had fun) and gave me several big kisses. I think this is gonna work!

I made it through another week of Last Loser Standing this morning!

Current weight: 245.0 (-0.6lbs)

I'm eager to break that five. Now that the holidays are behind me, I'm putting the gym to use and I've started meal planning again I really see big results coming my way. Can't wait to report them here for all two of you to see. ;)

I left my camera at my parents' house on Monday night, so unfortunately you'll have to wait another week for me to post a photo of myself in the black dress, but I did take my measurements.

Shoulders: 44.5" (-1.5)
Upper arm: 15" (same as four weeks ago, stubborn arm fat)
Chest: 44" (-1")
Waist: 37" (-1")
2" below belly button: 46" (same as four weeks ago, stubborn belly fat)
Hips: 51.5" (-1")
Upper thigh: 30 3/4" (-1 1/4")
2" below knee: 17.5" (-0.5")

There ya have it! Down 3lbs and 6.25" since the start of this challenge, 7lbs from my highest weight (252.0). Not great, but still progress so I'll take it! Hoping to bump the numbers a bit bigger here in the next few months.

I made a list of resolutions for this year. I don't like the term resolution, so I'm gonna start calling my list an "annual bucket list". The highest priority on this list is to be a size 12 by the end of the year. Right now I'm a 16. I think this is VERY doable, but I'm also hoping to have had another baby or be on my way by the end of the year, so that might make the goal a little harder to achieve. Even so, I'm already working toward it and that make me proud of myself.

I hope you've all set some attainable goals for yourselves this year, whether they be fitness related or not. It's always a good thing to try and better yourself in one way or another.

I'll update again next Tuesday or Wednesday. Have a blessed week and may your troubles be few!
xoxo

'Twas the Day After Christmas...

2012-12-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone! I hope Christmas treated you well this year. We started our morning by getting up at 6:30am to open our stockings and gifts while Owen was still asleep (to save time). I waited not-so-patiently for the word of the week to be posted so I could finally weigh in and guzzle my coffee. When I weighed yesterday morning the scaled showed 247.4, a loss of 0.2lbs. I was completely fine with this because I hadn't been careful with my food on Monday and hadn't worked out since Saturday. I was just happy to make it another week in the competition. Well this morning I decided to weigh again, just to see what the damage was from yesterday. Down almost two pounds! 245.6. I'll take it. This is the weight I sent in for this week and I'm very excited about that.

So. Here it is.
12/26/12
245.6

I'm gonna keep this up and hopefully see a little bit of a difference when I take a photo in that tight black dress next week. Can't wait to post it!

I'm feeling very good about 2013. Very capable and empowered and hopeful and optimistic. It's really going to be a good year for us. Yesterday we were shocked to receive a family membership for our local rec center. What an amazing gift! Owen can take swim lessons, soccer, gymnastics, etc. I can take aerobics, spin, Zumba, etc. plus use all of the equipment. Andrew is even really excited about working out again and lifting weights, playing raquetball, etc. It's going to be awesome. I also got the new Fitbit One! This handy little gadget is worn like a pedometer. It tracks steps, stairs climbed, calories burned, miles walked and sleep activity and syncs all the info wirelessly to my laptop. I stayed up late last night getting it all set up and haven't taken it off since. Woot!

So you see, 2013 is our year. We're getting our health back, our bodies back, our comfort back. Makes me excited for next Christmas, because it will have been one full year since this recomittment. Can't wait to see the comparison!

Someone take these chocolate away from me...

2012-12-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

Well I'm a day behind with my update, so I'll fill you in.

12/18/12
Weight: 246.6

That put me at just about 1.5lbs under last week. Great! Except then we had Pizza Hut for dinner. So I weighed again this morning and was 247.6, and this is the weight I emailed in for my weigh-in. I know, I know, you're wondering why I'd send in the higher weight. Well, honestly, in the competition it doesn't matter how much you lose in the week as long as you lose something. So there's that. The main reason I sent in the higher weight, though, is because I'm trying to squeeze under the radar through Christmas. If I can make it through Christmas I'll be great! So, a higher weight this week equals less pressure to be a tight-wad with my calories before the next weigh-in. This way if I only lose another 0.5lb I'll still be in the competition. Following me? I didn't want to have an excellent loss this week then have my body/metabolism/whatever freeze up on me next week. So here I am!

I did not stick to my goals last week. The first was to eliminate coffee. I made it to Friday without and it wasn't worth it to me. It didn't affect an ounce of my weight and really just made me kinda sad in the mornings. Ridiculous, I know, but my giant mug of steaming fresh coffee is one of my favorite parts of my day. I sip on it while Nugget snuggles up to me drinking his milk and eating his banana while we watch PBS cartoons. I cherish it. I suppose the coffee isn't necessarily the best part of that scenario, but it certainly takes 2nd place.

Another goal was to not have any soda. I actually completely forgot about this one. I did fine until Thursday (again) when I was finishing up Christmas shopping and about to die from thirst. Without really thinking about it I got a Pepsi (not really a thirst-quencher) and there went that committment.

The third goal was to eat when I was hungry and to not eat out of boredom/stress/anxiety/emotion. I'm going to try this one again this week. I have no clue how I did with this last week except I do know that I don't recall making a conscious effort when eating (or not eating).

The fourth and final goal was to do the elliptical a minimum of four times. This didn't happen either. It happened zero times, actually.

SO, there ya go. This is a new week and I already feel better about it. Today I did Tae Bo with Nugget, then "ran" on my elliptical for 40 min during his nap. I've made wise (and conscious) choices with food (besides the handful of Christmas Cadbury chocolate things). I've had nothing but water and one cup of coffee.

My new goals between now and Christmas:

1) Elliptical- twice more before Christmas day. I'm not putting a ton of pressure on myself about this because we have family coming in from out of town and lots going on with that.
2) Tae Bo- twice more before Christmas day, just like above. I don't care if I stagger these with the elliptical or do them on the same days, but I'm gonna get them done.
3) Water water water- nothing but water and my 1-2 cups of coffee in the a.m. Now until Christmas day. Come Christmas, though, I AM having a mimosa (or four).

That's it for this week. These are all easily attainable goals and I'm looking forward to reporting back on Christmas (or the day after) and letting you know that I followed through with all of them!

If I don't update again before Christmas (I'm sure I won't) I hope you all have a very merry and blessed Christmas!

p.s. Two weeks from today I will post an updated photo of myself in that super tight black dress. Can't wait to see the change!

Last Loser Standing: Week 1

2012-12-12T07:52:00.001-08:00

Beginning Stats

Weight (as of last night): 248 (weighed right after a super fatty dinner at Red Robin to give myself a leg-up. lol)

Shoulders: 46"

Upper Arm: 15"

Chest: 45"

Waist: 38"

2" Below Belly Button: 46"

Hips: 52.5"

Upper Thigh: 32"

2" Below Knee: 18"

Okay! Now that that's out of the way, here are my goals for this week.

1) No coffee. This is a big one for me. I've only been a big coffee drinker for about a year, but I don't drink coffee without creamer, and creamer is garbage. Delicious garbage, but garbage nonetheless. My body doesn't like it, it doesn't make my guts feel good, and so as a test I'm going one week without coffee to see how my weight reacts. I will, however, be drinking hot tea with agave, honey or Sweet n Low and plenty of water.

2) No soda. I gave up soda for months, but the last few weeks I've been guzzling it any chance I get. It makes me feel terrible, it hinders my weight loss (duh) and it hinders the quality of the food I put in my body. No more.

3) Eat when I'm hungry, don't eat when I'm not. Sounds easy, right? Not for this girl.

4) Elliptical. Minimum of 4 times.

I hope to be down a minimum of two pounds at my next weigh in (Tuesday the 18th) and I plan to take my measurements once a month, so the next time I post those stats will be Tuesday, January 8th.

I also included a new "motivation tip" that I came across on Pinterest. It helps you to see something physical even on the days when you're seeing nothing. I'm super excited about it!

Believe it or not there are exactly 100 beads in those two glasses. It looks like a lot less which is what's helping me realize this will be easier said than done.

May you all have a blessed week! Can't wait to report next Tuesday!

Newfound Motivation

2012-12-04T13:20:00.004-08:00

Hello friends! Today is December 4th. How close am I to my 30lbs loss goal by the end of the year? 23 pounds away..... I've lost seven pounds in three months. Not my best efforts, by far! But it's time to get back in the game. I don't care that we're in the holiday season, I don't care that I will be tempted almost daily by some sort of baked good or hot, cheesy dish. I will resist most of the time and give in some of the time. I want (and need) this to be realistic for me, and saying I'll never "indulge" is not realistic. However, it's my definition of indulgence that I need to work on.

I talked to my doctor last week about wanting to have another baby sometime next year. I expressed to him my intentions of losing a bit of weight before getting pregnant. I would like to be 20 or more pounds less than I was when I got pregnant with Owen, which puts me right about 30 pounds from now. I feel this is very realistic, and if I find my inner-exercise goddess I hope I can lose that in 4-5 months. I would LOVE for it to take less time than that, but I'm trying this new thing where I don't set myself up for failure. ;)

I joined a weight-loss challenge on FB called Last Loser Standing. There are 500 spots and I snagged one of them, silently having an anxiety attack while clicking the "Join Group" button. I don't know what I was thinking, except that this might be the motivation I need. This challenge involves a weekly weigh-in, and if I don't lose or maintain (within one ounce of the previous week's weight) I get disqualified. I'm excited about it for many reasons, but the main reason being that I can focus on this "journey" on a week-to-week basis and not the big picture. The big picture scares me. It's a lot of weight to lose and I can't think about it without getting discouraged and wanting to throw in the towel before I even put a dent in it. So here I am! I think it's a good challenge, uncomplicated and very doable, if I can just stay focused.

So that's where I am at this point. I'm still seeing my trainer once a week on Tuesday mornings (getting up out of the chair after this post will be difficult). I've really slacked off on cooking healthy meals and most days I struggle to get my arse on the elliptical, but I'm determined to get in 5 sessions of 35-40 minutes on the elliptical each week on top of the work out with my trainer. I also intend on doing another session with weights at home once per week. Just typing this makes it feel like a bigger commitment than I want to make.... soooo let's say 3-4 days of elliptical. Then if I do more I can pat myself on the back. :)

In addition to all of that I scoured my cook books and manilla envelopes of recipes for some healthy, clean meals to cook. I pledge to cook three healthy meals per week. Including leftovers, this should only allow room for one "indulgence" meal per week and I intend to eat that meal the night after I weigh in for the challenge, then I have a whole week to sweat it out. :)

I need to hold myself more accountable, and one of the ways I'll do this is by posting once a week with my weigh-in results, meal ideas and exercise results (miles, hours, etc.). (I'm borrowing this idea from my friend over at www.2012losingit.blogspot.com :)

Below are my new "before" pictures. They were taken about a month ago when I tried to squeeze into a dress that's about two sizes too small in the belly/ass areas. I thought it looked GREAT but boy am I glad I got out the camera to see what it thought. I saw something completely different after uploading the pictures than I saw while looking in the mirror. Funny how that happens.

Starting weight: 247

Side shot- note the 5mo pregnant-looking belly...

Rear-shot..... no words....

There you have it! Wish me luck! 3408024570845th time's a charm, right?? ;)

Scale Says One Thing, Measuring Tape Says Another

2012-10-09T13:33:00.001-07:00

Hi all! So since Andrew and I started our weight-loss challenge on September 10th, I have gained and lost the same five pounds several times. Grrr! My problem is not exercise. I've found multiple ways to be active that I really enjoy, the most recent being walking outside. My problem is food. I grocery shop alone or with my munchkin, so generally I stay in the very healthy areas of the store and make it home with lots of veggies and fruits, eggs, etc. So I can stock our fridge and cupboards with the nutritious stuff, but we still battle with restaurants and fast food. There are a couple of very tasty places within seconds of our home and most days we do just fine, but, well, you know... we have moments (ahem, days) of weakness, as well.

So from 9/10 the scale says I've gained two pounds. However, my measuring tape says I've lost 10.25in off my shoulders, chest and waist. I'll take it!

For now I'll keep walking and doing my elliptical. I've realized in the last couple of weeks I really need flexibility and my daily goal right now is to do one active thing. I recently started walking with a friend and with Hubs when said friend is preoccupied. Last week I walked 13.5 miles over the course of four days. It's not a lot but it's a start and I feel incredibly good and refreshed by the time I get home. When I'm tired after only a mile and want to stop, what drives me forward is this thought- Why did I let myself get to the point where walking in flat ground for 3 miles is difficult?

Day One of Shred

2012-10-03T12:44:00.001-07:00

Well, I just finished my first day with Jillian. There were a few minor moments when I took a small break, but I finished strong and probably won't be able to sit on a toilet tomorrow without crying.

I missed my weekly workout with my trainer this week. Munchkin woke up at 4:30am and I wasn't about to do anything that required changing out of my pjs and putting down the coffee pot. I should've just stuck a straw in it, really. I did pretty well with my food until evening, when I came across a bag of those dark chocolate covered pomegranate pieces.... let's just say we don't need to worry about them anymore and leave it at that...

The last two weeks were pretty chaotic and strange and we had some "family stuff" going on, but this week (or today, really) I've recommitted to this adventure and I'm ready for the soreness and the energy brought on by kick-ass work outs and eating to fuel.

On another note, I'm on the hunt for a gently used jogging stroller. As soon as I get my hands on one Munchkin and I will begin a Couch to 5k program. I'm eager to start exercising outside. I've always loved walking with Hubs and friends, but there's something about those joggers I see every day, sweating their asses off and loving it... for some strange reason I've always envied that, for as long as I can remember. I am a little nervous about being alone out there, but we're gonna be going on the local green belt late in the mornings, so there should be a decent amount of other SAHMs out there. Maybe we'll meet new people! Or maybe Mister will want to start the program, too, and we can go together.... we shall see...

Munchkin is asleep, then we're headed out for a walk with some friends. What are you doing to be active today?

Happy Wednesday!

A Year Later ...

2012-09-18T13:40:00.001-07:00

And I've lost nine pounds. Really? In a year? I'll tell you why- from last October until, roughly, six weeks ago, I stopped caring. Don't get me wrong, I cared about wanting to be thinner and more fabulous, but I didn't care ENOUGH to really clean out my pantry and get my booty back on the elliptical.

I started seeing a trainer again. This one is polar opposite from the one I had a few years back. While she was great and definitely helped me accomplish my goals, this time around I want to come at it from a different angle. I don't want to feel micromanaged, or like someone else is going to be disappointed in me if I mess up. The disappointment and joy are mine and mine alone. I'm taking responsibility for myself, giving the credit and glory to myself. Karin kicks my ass one hour per week, but the other six days I'm on my own and, while last time I had a trainer this terrified me, this time I am totally stoked.

So here's where we're at...

Mondays: elliptical, 40+ minutes, make sure I'm dripping but not dying.
Tuesdays: circuit/strength training with Karin, 60 minutes.
Wednesdays: elliptical, 40+ minutes
Thursdays: Power 90 3-4 (not P90x), 35 minutes, elliptical, 40+ minutes
Fridays: elliptical, 40+ minutes
Saturdays: same as Thursdays.

This is what I'm HOPING to accomplish each week. If I must I'll rearrange things, but I'm trying to do three days of strength and five of cardio. Sunday is a rest day. I'm only allowing myself one day off, because for me, well, it's a slippery slope.

Are you guys tired of this yet? I'm thinking you stopped reading this blog two years ago.... but on the off-chance there's still someone out there who isn't bored of my yo-yo-ing, bring on the encouraging words!

Day 3!

2011-09-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time, a friend is coming over for a haircut and coffee. We're also going on a walk, you see, because I actually walk now. :)

Today is day 3 of Phase 1. I woke up and weighed myself first-thing (after peeing, of course) and I'm down almost 5 pounds since Monday morning! I'm seeing incredibly fast results. I know the weigh is mainly water weight from all of the sodium and chemically-altered food that were in my system, but it's still enough to motivate and inspire me to keep going.

Yesterday morning I went for a walk with a friend, we walked about 3 miles in 45 minutes. (My mile average literally has not changed since 7th grade gym.) It felt great and we decided to form a sort of "stroller club" with a few other friends from church. We're going to walk once a week together, next time is on Monday. I'm so excited that I'm making this change all on my own!

Last night for dinner I made taco salad, sans tortilla chips. Not gonna lie, the chips definitely make it better, but I can live without them for two weeks. I found Ortega taco seasoning with 40% less sodium and I used lean ground beef and vegetarian (fat-free) refried beans. Piled on top of a giant bed of romaine hearts and baby spring mix and topped with some cheese it turned out to be a pretty tasty dinner! Dessert, however, was my favorite. I toasted a bunch of sliced almonds in the oven, then did a layer of sugar-free cheesecake-flavored Jell-O pudding, a layer of sugar-free chocolate fudge Jell-O pudding and a layer of Cool Whip Lite, then topped it with some of the leftover toasted almonds. IT really hit the spot, so much, in fact, that I felt a little guilty after eating it, like I had eaten something "forbidden". And I know "sugar-free" really doesn't sound great, but if I couldn't tell the difference I doubt most people could.

That is all for now. I'll be spending the better half of my afternoon cooking my minestrone soup (it's a process, but so worth it.)

Life... food... laziness...

2011-09-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

Wow. Well my last post on this blog was approximately 2-3 months before I got pregnant. During my pregnancy I lost 17 pounds (for no reason at all, wasn't sick or anything, doc said it just happens with some women). This was perfectly okay with me. I didn't keep my activity up much and I definitely ate whatever was in front of my face whenever I felt like it. At the end of my pregnancy I came out +4 pounds. Not bad, right? After Owen was born I lost 22 pounds in the first three weeks. I felt invincible! Super Mom, unaffected by food or beverage, fabulous big boobs and a freshly-flattened tummy. Didn't last long. Super Mom was defeated by... duh duh duhhhh.... the Sugar Monster. You know those things people say about eating "whatever you want while breastfeeding because it doesn't stick"? Total and complete bull. I've learned first-hand that if you're going to lose weight breastfeeding, it's in your blood. I quickly gained back the 22 pounds (plus a few...) and now I'm at an all-time high of........ not telling. Did you think I was going to tell? Only one other person in this world knows and that's because she has to love me know matter what (thanks Mommy!)

After a pretty surreal and depressing sit-down with my wonderful mother, I realized that I am slowly killing myself with what I'm putting in my body. We discussed my health and the potential (and very real) consequences. What it comes down to is this: I need to be healthy. Thin would be fantastic, but health is the number one goal here. I have a very young son, I'd like to give him lots of adorable brothers and sisters. I'd like to give them all a healthy and active upbringing. I'd like to show them that there is more in this life than deliciously poisonous high fructose corn syrup and addictive video games/internet/tv. I am currently the perfect example of the average American woman- Overweight. Sedentary. Lazy. Well, ladies and gents, this is about to change, and I hope you will all witness!

I've done this before. I had the trainer, I had the food program. I had the resources. I gained back all of the weight and I went back to all of the terrible eating habits I had before. Obviously this is a hard thing to change and these are hard habits to break. The healthy habits were proving hard to restore until this talk I had with my mom. It was eye-opening and inspiring and terrifying, all at the same time. So here we go. Round 2 of Hayley vs. Food & Couch. Hayley's gonna come out on top this time, peeps.

After a spontaneous trip to Winco late last night, our refrigerator is now stocked with fresh vegetables, lean meat and lots of eggs, cheese and milk. The cabinets are stocked with peanut butter, quinoa and Sweet n' Low (gotta have it for me tea. Not backing down on this one.) Today marks day one of Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I've never tried a "diet", and this one seems more like a lifestyle than a "diet" anyway. The diet was created by Dr. Arther Agatston. He's a cardiologist and hopefully by the end of this week I'll believe he's a genius, as well. The "diet" is broken up into three phases. Phase 1 consists of lean protein, fresh vegetables, salads, reduced- or non-fat dairy, and eggs. No carbohydrates, including complex carbohydrates. This means no fruit. At this point, the no-fruit-thing doesn't bother me. I do believe, however, by the end of the next thirteen days I'll have a new found appreciation for fruit and it's natural sugars. Here's what is still/was on the menu today, to give you an idea of what an average day of Phase 1 looks like:

Breakfast: 1 whole egg + 3 egg whites, scrambled. I added Benefiber to them (turns out you can add that stuff to anything. Weird.) I then sprinkled some colby jack cheese on top of the eggs. This was 264 calories.
Snack: 1 low-moisture part-skim mozzarella string cheese. 80 calories.
Lunch: 3 cups of baby spring mix salad, 1/2 a medium-sized orange bell pepper, 1/8 cup of sliced almonds and 2 tbsp of Lite Northern Italian dressing, all mixed together. I also had a small protein shake made up of chocolate whey protein powder and water (chilled overnight. If it's not cold enough it's harder to drink, honestly.) Lunch was 340 calories.
Snack: one Yoplait Light Fat-Free Very Vanilla yogurt and 2 tbsp of peanut butter. I love peanut butter and was perfectly content to just eat if off a spoon. This girl hates celery. The yogurt was 110 calories and the peanut butter was 190. (...I'm just realizing in this very moment that peanut butter is very high in calories...)
Dinner tonight will be this: 3oz chicken tenderloin, grilled on the stove in olive oil and various spices, homemade marinara and reduced-fat mozzarella cheese. A healthy spin on chicken parmigiana, if you will. We will also be having a salad like I had with lunch.

I'm trying to stick to the same exact meal plan for breakfast and lunch every day during Phase 1, but will mix up dinners. Dinners will be rotated with this chicken and salad dish, a turkey sausage minestrone (compliments of ColorFuel, best recipe I ever tried) and a turkey and quinoa chili (also compliments of ColorFuel).

Andrew is following the majority of this as well. We're including 4-5 days of walking per week and I will be doing at least 2 days a week of weight-training. Wish us luck!!!

Oh boy.

2010-03-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am, 2 months and 1 day since my last update. You can safely assume that I've made no progress, weight-loss wise, and I've been horrified at the idea of giving you all that information. But now that it's out of the way...

I just got over a wicked case of bronchitis, or something very bronchitis-like. I've been on the bench for the last 4ish weeks, and tomorrow is my first day back at the gym. I'm feeling very.... indifferent. I'm not nervous or excited.... I'm not really sure what to expect. I suppose you could say I'm a little anxious. I've been trying to keep up with my food, but as far as exercise goes, it's been for the most part non-existent. I've been on a few walks in the last week, but the first few weeks I was basically on bed rest. I hope I'm never in that situation again, but I suppose when you only get sick every few years it's on natural for it to hit you hard.

I'm not sure what's up with my weight, and I'm not really sure what's up with my attitude. I feel defeated, and I sometimes feel like a failure. Like I've failed myself, but more importantly, I've failed all of you and all of the people I had a part in inspiring in the beginning. Maybe I should be thinking more about me and less about you, but that's just not natural for me.

I talked to a friend last week about how I've been feeling, and I came to a realization. I knew there would be physical plateaus, and I expected them, and I was prepared for them. What I didn't expect or prepare for were mental/psychological plateaus. In the beginning of this "plateau", the first weeks when I wasn't down or I was up a teensy bit, it didn't affect me much. I felt like maybe there were things I needed to improve on (truth: I knew there were things I needed to improve on.) But week, after week, after week, after week.... well, it builds up like a big ball of fiery self-doubt and pity, and that has gotten me nowhere. I know that I need to "go back to the drawing board" or "start from square one". I need to get back to the mindset I had a year ago when I knew this was what I wanted, and I believed I would reach my goals. I need to remember WHY I'm doing this, and think about my precious (future) babies who I will want nothing more than to have a healthy life.

Thoughts and prayers will be greatly appreciated on the next leg of this journey.

p.s. Sorry this was such a downer! Love you all!

ColorFuel!!

2010-01-28T12:58:00.000-08:00

So, once again, it's been a while! I hope all of my "followers" (creepy) are doing wonderfully and enjoying 2010 so far. :)

First of all, I'll allow you all to give me a cyber-pat-on-the-back. I'm back in the game, back on track, and throwing myself full-fledged into my new lifestyle of choice. Thank you, thank you. A dear friend of mine (aside from when she's torturing me) started a FABULOUS new food program. Anyone who wants to lose weight and/or get healthy needs to visit www.colorfuelfitness.com S.T.A.T.!

I am SO excited about this. I started the plan on Tuesday, and my weight is down two pounds... in two days... seriously. I came into this feeling discouraged, emotional and negative. And now, two days later, I see how silly I was being. IT'S WORKING ALREADY! :)

I just feel so happy. I'm loving the way my body feels, and sooner or later I'm going to (crosses fingers) see some pretty amazing results from this. I encourage all of you to check out this plan. It's simple, it's fun, and it works!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat my afternoon snack (blueberry smoothie... yummmm!)

Reality.

2009-12-01T12:15:00.000-08:00

First of all, Merry (belated) Christmas! I hope you all had as lovely a holiday as I did. We were blessed with many opportunities to spend time with loved ones and we truly enjoyed it.

Onto the point of this. Wow. It's been a LONG time since I updated, and I feel the need to explain why. Losing weight is HARD. Actually, no. The commitment is hard. It's painful, and it's tough, and it's challenging, and sometimes I hate it. I've been having a rough time, people. My weight hasn't gone down (since my last update), and it's a result of many things combined.

This is a hard time of year. As I get older, and as life happens, the holidays become a harder, sadder, more difficult time. I find myself feeling lonely, or exhausted, or sad, or sleeping a lot. (This, I believe, is because of a recent family loss that I'm not going to get into right this moment.) On top of all this, I still struggle with my eating habits (the bad ones). The last ten or so years of my life I "ate my feelings". I ate when I was happy, when I was sad, when I was angry, when I was bored. My instincts still tell me to eat when I'm feeling any and all of these things. They don't, however, tell me to go for the Muscle Milk when there's a perfectly good bottle of wine in the fridge. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

So I guess the purpose of this update is to let you all know I'm human. I still struggle every day to make the right choices, both with food and exercise. I skip my cardio sometimes because it's the last thing I want to do in the whole world. Other times I break down and have a few cookies. It's still a challenge for me to stop and think before I make that choice, and it probably always will be. But the right choice is worth it in the long run, friends!! Someday I WILL achieve my fitness goals, and I WILL be able to wear those jeans that have been in my "shrink into" pile for years, and I WILL be able to stand in a full-length photo without cringing about the outcome.

I hope you all believe me when I say that I know this is hard. I need you to know that I don't always make the healthy choices, and I need you to know that I haven't forgotten my commitment to this new life I'm making for myself and my family. You're all such amazing friends, and you're so encouraging and supportive, and you're GREATLY appreciated. I gladly accept all forms of constructive criticism and positive reinforcement, and I hope you'll all let me know if you need it as well.

HERE'S TO A NEW YEAR, A FRESH MINDSET, AND A NEW LIFE!

THERE'S A 1 ON THE SCALE!

2009-10-08T15:42:00.000-07:00

That's right, folks! I broke that darn tootin' (lol) zero this week, and all I can say is "sigh".

To date, I have lost 30 pounds, and just over 30 inches off my whole body! I am SO proud of myself, and SO thankful for all of you. For your encouragement when I get discouraged and your praise when I succeed. You guys are the best!

I recently read an article in Health magazine about a woman who lost 125 pounds. I would type out the whole thing for you, but I'm not sure if that's legal. I'll just give you the jist of it. Her wake-up call was the day she realized she was ONE SIZE AWAY from the largest size Lane Bryant carries. This was in August of 2006. She made small changes to begin with. Cut out soda COMPLETELY (not really an easy change, but a GOOD change), but it wasn't until the following November that she got herself to step onto a scale. She weighed 293 pounds. She felt she needed to do something drastic, so she signed herself up for a water-aerobics class. As for her diet, the only changes she made (IN THE BEGINNING) were these: 1) She shrunk her portions and 2) she cut out fast food. Soon enough she started to feel better and had less pain in her knees and back. With the relief from her physical pain, she started walking, cycling and lifting weights. By July of 2008 (just a month shy of two years), she had dropped 125 pounds. Her original goal with this was just to feel better, and now she feels like she can "really live" (sue me, Health Magazine, for stealing that one quote.) She's thirty years old, started out a size 24-26, and is now an 8-10. If I could find a way to get her photo up on here I would, because she looks FANTASTIC.

So the moral of the story is that it's possible. This was such an inspirational story for me, and I hope it inspired some of you, too! If you're already in great shape and don't need to lose weight, I hope it inspires you to keep going and spread the word! And if you do need to get healthy and lose weight, I hope it shows you that YOU CAN DO IT. I believe in each and every one of you, and I love you all!

What a Whirlwind Month!

2009-09-29T20:16:00.001-07:00

Well it appears that it's been a good six weeks or so since I last updated. I can officially say I've lost 30 POUNDS! And I feel fantastic!

September was a hard month. There were a LOT of emotions and mental obstacles that taunted me and tried to get in the way of my goals. It was hard; harder than I expected it to be. But it will soon be October, a new month, a new century (I'll be in the 100s instead of 200s) and new clothes, of course. :)

Lately I've been getting a lot of compliments, and I'm so thankful that people are noticing the outcome of my hard work. However, it's still pretty awkward. I'll have to get used to people looking at me and critiquing my every move and everything I put in my mouth, but what I want more than anything is to set a good example for other people and show them "it" can be done.

I've also been hearing "If only"s and "I really need to do that"s and "I wish I could do it"s. Well guess what, people- YOU CAN! I've confided in a couple of people that I don't really know how to respond when these comments come up. Both agreed that "you can" is the best response. It's SO doable. It's hard, it's painful, it's emotional, but it's WORTH IT. I have a tendency of trying to take responsibility for you. ("You" are the people who WANT the results but make every excuse to get out of working for them.) I can't make you do anything. All I can do is encourage you and tell you over and over and over and over and over again that you can do it, even if it means telling you a thousand times before you get your butt off the couch.

PLEASE don't get me wrong. I HAVE BEEN THERE. We all have different stories and different experiences, I know. But at the root of that we all have something in common. We want to feel good. We want to LOOK good. We want to live long and healthy lives. We want to be able to ride in the car without unbuttoning our jeans on the way home from work. (Seriously. That's a big one for me.)

I also know it's hard not having an accountability partner and feeling like you're in it "alone". So this is my vow. As long as you need my encouragement, I'll give it. As long as you need my prayers, I'll ask them. As long as you ask for advice, I'll share. But I'm starting this new month with a promise to myself that I will try not to focus on you. I'm going to focus on me. YOU focus on you. Deal? Deal. ((handshake)) In order to meet my goals and accomplish my aspirations in my new life, I HAVE to focus on me. I don't really have much of a choice anymore. Maybe when all is said and done, I'll be a trainer, and I'll kick all of your butts. ;) (Kidding.)

*sigh* Now that I got that rant out of my system, I can move on to other things! Andrew has lost so much weight, as well! He started this journey at about 215 pounds on his 5'10" frame (as of the first week of June), and as of this morning weighed in at a lean, mean, running-machine 181 pounds! That puts him 6-10 pounds from his overall goal, and I am SO proud of him. He's such an amazing person. So supportive, so encouraging, and ALWAYS holds me accountable. I may be tempted, but he knocks the ideas of cookies and pasta right out of my head with kind and motivating words, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. Way to go, babe!!

I've also decided to devote more time to myself. I'm home alone often, which I love, but I tend to spend all of that time watching trashy tv or playing on Facebook... I'm going to try to find a couple of hobbies. This time of year I love to knit, paint and draw. I also love to journal (e.g. Blogspot.) I just feel like I need more things that are mine. Things that I don't have to share with Andrew, or friends, or anyone, really. So if anyone has any ideas, please share!

Everyone have a fabulous week! I won't wait so long to update next time. Love you all and thank you for your encouragement and love!

Really??

2009-08-18T18:14:00.000-07:00

I looked like this? SERIOUSLY? Going through my photos today I think I realized for the first time how much I've changed. I know other people see it, because they don't see me as often, but when I see myself every day the change is much more gradual. I just wanted to show everyone the last (and probably only) full-body "before picture" I had before this whole process began. This was a friend's wedding in January of this year.

So the last few weeks have been KUH-razy busy. We've been spending time with family we haven't seen in nearly two years, and falling in love with their children. Our niece, Anaiah, is almost 2. We hadn't seen her since she was just a few months old. And our nephew, Evan, is 6mo. This is the first time meeting him. They got here a couple of weeks ago, and so far we've crammed a good six weeks of visiting and entertainment into the last few. It's been such a blessing, getting to spend this time with them. They are VERY loved and GREATLY missed when they're in Africa.

Last week was a VERY good week. (I'm typing a lot in all caps, because I'm excited tonight, for whatever reason.) We spent four lovely days in McCall with immediate family and we had such a good time. Lots of visiting, lots of lake-time, lots of down time. It was relaxing, and we all loved it.

I ended up going an entire week without seeing Jen. This has happened twice now, since we started together, and both times I've been out-of-my-mind nervous. But both times have produced good results.... this last time I lost nearly 7 POUNDS in a WEEK! :D I was (and still am) so excited, and SO proud of myself. (This week the results weren't as good, but there are extenuating circumstances, if you catch my drift...)

8 Weeks...

2009-07-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

This is the most recent photo I have of myself. I'm eating out at a restaurant, but don't worry, I made wise choices. :) And I couldn't figure out how to crop Sam out of it, so hopefully she doesn't mind having her photo on the world-wide-web. :)

Yesterday marked the 8 week anniversary of this whole life-changing experience. It sounds cheesey, but it's SO true. In eight weeks I've managed to lose 14.5 inches from all over my body, and lose 20 pounds. (Well, 19 point something, but lets round up, shall we?) And that's just on the outside. I have my annual physical in September, and I can hardly wait to find out my blood pressure and to see the look on my doc's face when I get on that dreaded hospital scale.

I can't believe how far I've already come. It's such an amazing feeling. And as I lose weight and get in better shape, I'm less afraid/embarassed to share with you what I started out at in my journey. I weighed in at 229 pounds. I'll pause here to let you guys throw up/cry/gasp/swear......... Okay, we good? I was in size 18 jeans/pants/bottoms in general and 14-16 top...... Here's the amazing part. Yesterday I was trying on old clothes (it's definitely more fun when they start to fit again), and I got myself COMFORTABLY into a pair of size 14 jeans! They were zipped, buttoned, and with little-to-no muffin-top! I'm think by the end of next week they'll be just about perfect... :)

So like I said, I went through ALL of my clothes. This had never been done before. So EEEEK. I ended up with 2 black garbage bags full of give-away clothes. Oh and a smallish box. I also ended up with a GIGANTIC Rubbermaid full of clothes that WILL fit this winter. :D Oh, and two medium-sized Rubbermaids full of clothes that WILL fit next summer. I'm getting so excited. It's just a whole new world (go ahead and sing the song. I'll have it stuck in my head all night, too.) It's amazing to look at a pair of jeans that you haven't worn in two years and be EXCITED about wearing them AGAIN, rather than depressed as hell because you never will, and then (lets face it) you go binge-friggin-crazy on Cold Stone and Olive Garden breadsticks. Yes ladies and gentlemen, those were my drugs of choice.

Now that I'm feeling so much better, mentally AND physically, I'm really trying to inspire people. I know how painful it is to be overweight, and I wasn't even as big as a lot of people start out. But I was sad, and angry, and disappointed in myself, and depressed, and really unhappy. And I think everyone who is out of shape, in any way, shape or form, feels those things. So I want to help someone. I want to motivate someone. Being fit and feisty will be great fun, but I've decided my ultimate goal is to help someone else change their life. Wish me luck!

New font.

2009-06-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

They need to get some new ones for this whole "blog thing". I'm working on getting a new body, so I'd like some new font options as well. Is that really too much to ask for? I think not.

Today was okay. I lost 1.5lbs this week. Eh. It's good, because it's something, but it's not great. However, I did cheat quite a friggin' bit this last week, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I went to my workout this morning, and it went well. I got a teensy bit lightheaded, but mostly I was just so short of breath because she really wanted me all over the place. I definitely work my a** off when I'm there!

So this is a new week. I'm going to try to go the whole week without cheating, or at least cheating as little as possible. Now when I say "cheating", I don't mean I'm going to Cold Stone or eating pizza every day. This week marks my 1 month anniversary without soda, and I'm not planning on breaking that any time soon! No, no, by cheating I mean a piece of cheese. Or a glass of chocolate milk. As all of you well know, these things that I seem to be "cheating" with are still MUCH healthier for me than the things I was eating even a month ago!

Today was three weeks since I started this whole program. I've officially lost ten pounds. It's going well. I'm trying to be patient. It doesn't all need to come off within two months. It's better for me in the long run to take my time. This is just as much, if not moreso, about forming healthy habits as it is about losing weight. Habits that I will have forever, so I can control myself when occasions arise that provide certain temptations.... And eating this way isn't FOREVER. It's just until I'm fit, healthy, and happy with my new body (soooo excited to see that, by the way!) At that point it'll just be about "maintaining the goods". Lol!

Andrew's doing very well, too. He's lost around 10 pounds. I can tell in his belly. :) He's been really good about running on the elliptical when he has time; on average probably 4 or 5 times a week. He's also LOVING the food we have. He's a rare human being. I say this because he craves fresh fruit and veggies and meat. He basically craves everything that's good for you. I don't. But I'm getting there. I definitely enjoy most things I'm eating. Tonight I went to the store and bought a Litehouse dressing. It's pomegranate blueberry vinaigrette. 20 cals per serving. I'm excited to try it on my spinach and strawberry salad. :)

Anyway, we're getting there. I'm sooo excited, also, for my friends who are making these changes in their lives. We're all becoming healthier, happier people, and it's SO worth it! I'm very proud of you, girls. We're doing this! Finally! Keep up the good work, and just think about how we'll look in a few months. And also, thank you so much for the support you give me. It means the world to have friends that care about my happiness. You're the best! *MWAH* (that's a smooch)

Why can't I stop watching America's Next Top Model marathons....

2009-06-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

So I had a great workout with Jenn today. However, it's Thursday. And every Thursday marks the four days/week that I'm without Jenn.... and during those four days I usually feel like I'm suffocating from too much healthy food. She told me, though, that when I weigh-in next Tuesday, if I've had a good week (which means lost minimum of 2 pounds) I can start having low-fat string cheese. :D YAY! Definitely looking forward to that.

My parents left town yesterday, and I'm "in charge" of cooking dinner for my brother, Evan, tonight. What does he want? Does he want baked chicken and salad? Noooo. Does he want turkey with spinach and hummus? Noooo. He wants LASAGNA. I'm not gonna lie, I make a pretty mean lasagna. (Ignore the last time I made it, Amanda. It tasted like crap. Lol!) And I know that I'm going to eat some. I'm not going to put the time and effort into making something like that and NOT eat any of it. I just need to control myself. And honestly, I think I'll be fine. I'm going on three weeks without much sugar or salt, so I'm thinking it'll taste so salty that I won't be able to eat much of it anyway. So I'm excited, in a way, to try the lasagna. It'll be a good test for me.

(Nigel from ANTM is so sexy.)

Well, I don't have much else to say. I should probably get started on dinner. Wish me luck!!