my wife doesn't cook

BBQ Pulled Pork

2013-11-05T13:51:00.002-06:00

Meteor Bert: Well, it ain't a meteor.
Joe Dirt: Yeah, it is. It came out of the sky.

Meteor Bert: Well I'm sure it did but it ain't no meteor. It's a big ol' frozen chunk o' shit.

Meteor Bert: Oh yeah, see them airplanes they dump their toilets 36,000 feet. The stuff freezes and falls to earth. We call 'em Boeing bombs.

Joe Dirt: No, that can't be. That's not what it is.

Meteor Bert: Oh, afraid so. See that peanut? Dead giveaway.

Joe Dirt: Uhhh, no, that's a space peanut.

Meteor Bert: No, afraid not. That just a big ol' frozen chunk of poopy.

Today I learned that no amount of clever camera work will make partially pulled pork look very good.

How to do it:
Get a pork butt, boston butt, shoulder roast, pork shoulder etc. Liberally salt your butt and let rest while you fire up your grill or smoker. I use charcoal briquettes with about 4-5 fist sized chunks of wood. If you're using a grill be sure to cook the butt indirectly. You want to keep the temp between 200-350 degrees. Pork butts are forgiving so it doesn't really matter much. The higher the temp the shorter you window will be to pull it off the cooker when it's tender. After the cooker is ready go back and season the butt with the rub of your choice. Be very liberal with it. The rub creates a "Bark" that is the best part. It's the black stuff on the outside in the pics. Tastes like hot god if you didn't use a crappy rub. My go to butt rub I plan on a cooking time of an hour and a half pound but if this is your first time actually doing this on a smoker or grill plan on 2 hours per pound. It's going to vary depending on the meat itself and cooking temp and how many times you have to open your cooker. Avoid opening too much or it will take forever. Put you meat on. Now is a good time to drink a beer. It's basically required if you want to do this right.

Here is the secret to smoking a butt that people have a hard time with. Don't take it off until it's done. The internal temp doesn't matter so don't bother with a thermometer. It's going to be safe to eat hours before its done and the internal temp has nothing to do with it being tender. When you can stick a thermometer or skewer in it with little to no resistance its done. If you have a bone in butt it will be done when you can wiggle the bone and can pull it out of the meat. The internal temp might be at 190 degrees, it might be 220 degrees. Give yourself plenty of time and be patient.

Additional bbq nerd talk:
If you do use a thermometer you're going to notice that when the internal temp get to around the 170 degree mark it's going to "stall" for a while. At that point is when all the fat and connective tissue inside melts. Pull your meat from the cooker before and you're going to have a bad day with tough meat. Not bad really but you'll need to slice it cuz its never going to pull apart.

bacon dillies/jalapeno popper alternative for big babies that don't like heat

2013-11-04T13:58:00.000-06:00

Jalapeno popper alternative

scooped out vinegar husbands

filled with cheese

a stuffed elephant

wrapped in bacon

'n stuff

cooked things

How to do it: Cut the pickle in half and scoop the guts out. Mix the two cheeses together and fill the hollowed out pickles. Wrap in bacon. Use toothpicks to hold the bacon if you need to. Grill or bake them in the oven until the bacon is cooked.

You need:
Dill pickles
12oz softened cream cheese
8oz cheddar cheese
bacon strips

WARNING! No one is actually allowed to make these. One day I may get a concession stand at the state fair and sell bacon dillies to the masses and run the pickle guy out of business. 6 figure income made in two weeks people.

butt rub

2013-10-21T11:45:00.000-05:00

Notes: If you plan on a long cook use Turbinado sugar instead of brown sugar. It won't burn.
Feel free to sub different chilies if you can't find New Mexico chilies but don't use a smoked chili like chipotle if you are using a smoker. Smoked chili+smoked meat=overkill.

I use this mainly for pork but it's a good all purpose seasoning for chicken too. Probably would be good on fish too but fish is kind of gross so I don't really eat it.

1/2 c Turbinado sugar
1/4 c Ancho chili powder
1/2 c hot New Mexico chili powder
1/3 c onion powder
1/3 c garlic powder
1/4 c dried thyme
2 T marjoram
1 T ground coriander
1 T ground cumin
1T ground black pepper
2 t allspice
2 t cinnamon
2 t celery seed
2 t ginger

blend.

rub the butt

Beer Cheese Soup

2013-10-18T15:34:00.000-05:00

As you can tell I don't really use this anymore but since I had a bunch of people ask for this recipe I decided to post it here for you. Enjoy!

Melt butter and sauté carrots and onion until lightly caramelized. Add garlic and continue cooking for another minute or two.

Stir in Tabasco and season with salt, pepper and cayenne pepper.

Stir in chicken stock/broth and beer and simmer for about 10 minutes.

Stir in cubed cheese. When melted add the half and half/milk.

Add Dijon, dry mustard and Worcestershire sauce.

Stir the cornstarch in the water and dissolve before adding to soup.

3 carrots-chopped

1 large white or yellow onion-chopped

4 Tbsp butter

2-3 cloves garlic-finely chopped

Tabasco sauce

Cayenne pepper

Couple beers

4 cups chicken broth or stock

4 cups half and half or milk

2lb Velveeta sharp cheddar-cubed

1 Tbsp Dijon mustard

1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

1 tsp dry mustard

1 cup water

¾ cup corn starch

bacon jam

2012-09-26T13:38:00.000-05:00

words words

words

words...I'll add more later

1.5 lbs. bacon

2 large yellow onions- sliced

4 cloves crushed garlic

½ cup apple cider vinegar

¼ cup maple syrup

1/3 cup bourbon

½ cup brown sugar

Cut bacon into 1 inch strips and brown until crisp. Remove the bacon and drain on a paper towel. Pour off all the rendered bacon fat except for a couple tablespoons. Over med-high heat, add the sliced onion and crushed garlic. Stir so everything is coated and sauté until the onions are soft and translucent, 5-10 minutes. Turn the heat to high and add the remaining ingredients and the bacon. Bring the mixture to a rapid boil for a few minutes and then turn the heat to low. Simmer uncovered for a couple hours or until you start to get a syrupy consistency. Be sure you stir every once in a while to make sure nothing is sticking. If you get low on liquid add a splash of water. Remove from the heat and use a blender or pulse in a food processor but don’t overdo it or you’ll end up with gooey bacon paste rather than jam.

apple pie baked beans

2012-06-10T15:26:00.001-05:00

Every time I make this I get asked for the recipe or what I put in it. A handful of extra ingredients and 20 minutes can take your boring baked beans into something you actually want to eat. It's my go to side dish for potlucks and whenever I make bbq the boss pretty much insists on it.

I found this recipe on the webs a couple years ago. I cut back on the sugar a little but I've left it mostly unchanged. It especially good if you add a pound of leftover pulled pork.

I had just finished smoking bacon when I made this. I used the rind I sliced off the add some flavor. If you want you can use a few strips of bacon too. I've found that it's a little more trouble than it's worth to go out of my way to add it though so if you don't have any don't worry.

Yes, I am a messy cook.

4 bacon strips (optional)
2 28-oz cans Bush's Baked Beans, drained
1/2 C of your favorite bbq sauce(stay away from honey bbq-too sweet)
1 lb. smoked leftover pulled pork (optional)
1 can apple pie filling, roughly chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
1/3 C brown sugar
2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 Tbsp. of your favorite mustard
1 tsp chipotle powder
1 tsp bbq rub (optional)

If you're using bacon fry the strips up and set aside. Using the bacon grease, saute the onion and bell pepper until soft or about 5 minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients and the bacon if you are using it and have managed to not eat it already. I like to bake it for 45 minutes or so but you can let it simmer also. If you want to mix things up you could add some Jimmy Dean's breakfast sausage instead of pulled pork, Peach filling instead of apple or some jalapenos instead of chipotle powder. Get fancy.

bacon

2012-06-06T20:01:00.002-05:00

Maple Maple Cured

Bacon is probably your favorite food, even if you're a vegetarian. Making homemade bacon is actually very easy to make-it just takes some time. I just started making it a few months ago and it's easy to get hooked. The comparison from the store bought stuff that you currently think is the good is actually kind of crappy when you compare it to homemade bacon. Don't get me wrong, it's still good but I promise if you make your own you'll know what "real" bacon is supposed to taste like. No, it won't save you money, you might break even but the quality makes up for it.

"plain" cured bacon rubbed w/cinnamon and sugar

I've now made this 3 or four times in as many months and I've started to venture off the beaten path a little. My go to seems to be a maple/honey/thyme cure but I've been trying a few new things. The pic above has been one of my favorite sweet bacons I've made so far. I didn't add anything to the cure but I did rub it in cinnamon and sugar before I smoked it. On the sweet side but it's the bomb diggity.

If you give this one a go I would suggest doing a sweet one like maple or cinnamon a sugar and a savory one that can be used in other dishes like carbonara, bacon cheese burgers or a salad. Bacon is an easy thing to experiment with. Add a mix of herbs, fresh or dried chile's or add fresh cracked pepper or cinnamon and sugar after the belly has cured.

cure recipe

1 C kosher salt

1/2 C sugar

5 teaspoons pink curing salt

mix well

Here's how to do it. Find yourself a pork belly. The recipe above should be enough to cure a 10 lb pork belly but you can obviously do less. In a baking dish or larger flat container put down a layer of the cure and dredge the pork belly in it or spinkle an even coat on it. If you are are going to use additional flavoring (maple syrup, garlic etc.) add now and seal in a larger zip lock bag and refrigerate for a week. You'll need to "overhaul" it or flip the belly over over other day to ensure the brine that the cure mixture is evenly coating the meat. Seven days later rinse the cure off the bacon and fry a little piece to taste. If it's too salty soak for a half hour, change the water and soak for another half hour. That should remove some of the unwanted salt.

If you don't have a smoker roast the belly in the oven @ 200 degrees until the meat gets to an internal temp of 150. Done. If you have a smoker or a grill that's capable of smoking do the same but be sure to keep the temp at 200 or under until it get to an internal of 150 degrees. Done. What you have now is slab bacon and will keep for a couple weeks in the fridge, longer if you freeze it.

pork belly confit

2012-04-19T20:19:00.000-05:00

This has been on my to do list for at least a year now. After a year long search I've found a few places that readily have pork belly so all I've done the past few weeks is play with making bacon. One of these days I'll go back and finish my bacon post. I saved about 4 1/2 lbs. from my last belly I got just for this recipe. Being the pig that I am I thought it 4 lbs of belly confit wouldn't be too much. I was way wrong. It's keeps for at least a couple months so I have some time but it's sort of rare that I know when I've had enough before I over eat. I had the piece shown in the pics and I couldn't finish it. It's has the same richness quality that desserts do. You want more but there is a point when it becomes too much. Had to throw in the towel. Not such a bad thing though cuz the only way you could add more fat in this would be to dip it in chocolate and roll it in bacon. If anyone wants to come over and try it I'll have plenty to go around.

The pork belly strips get seasoned with kosher salt, black pepper, pink curing salt, fresh thyme, bay leaves, cinnamon, all spice and clove. Next put the pork in a container and cover with enough dry white wine to cover and let sit in the refrigerator for a day or so.

I didn't take pics of the marinade. Nothing to see really but the above pics are after 36 hours. Take them out and pat dry with some paper towels. Next was something I haven't done before. Basically this is nothing more than cooking fat with a little meat on it with rendered fat. Health food! The cooking temp is low enough that the fat on the pork belly isn't rendered so it stay in tact. I used probably about four cups of rendered duck fat but you can lard. It's cheaper and easier to find. Add just enough so that you don't have any pork exposed when the fat liquefies.

I posted a pic on facebook and was told this looked like a tumor covered in pee. I agree, but it smelled amazing. This is what it will look like when your duck fat or lard liquefies. You want it just hot enough to get a gentle simmer going before putting the uncovered pot in a preheated 250 degree oven. It will take somewhere between 2-3 hours to cook. When you can slide a fork in the meat with no resistance its done. Here's were things get old school. Leave the pork belly in the pot, with the fat to cool at room temp. Once at room temp cover the pot and put it in the refrigerator and you're done. When you want to have some just fish some out of the fat but like I mentioned above the meat has been cooked and is preserved in fat so it keeps for months.

You might ask how we can make this just a little more unhealthy? Yup! Deep fry it! Like it matters. Your eating mostly fat at this point anyways a minute or two in a deep fryer isn't really going to make this much worse than it already is. I used Canola and maybe had them in for two minutes. It's already cooked you just want to get the outside crispy to give it some texture. You could also saute or pan fry too.

This is a recipe from Charcuterie so I can't exactly post the recipe so message me if you have questions. For anyone interested, the book is a very good resource on how to cook with salt, smoke and curing methods. Worth every penny and no, I'm not being paid for pushing this book.

caramelized asian pork

2012-03-22T18:12:00.001-05:00

The hardest part about making this is getting the cut of pork. It's really simple otherwise. This would work best with a piece of pork belly but you're probably never going to find one unless you order it. You might luck out if you have a good asian or mexican market but your standard grocery store probably won't have it. That's ok cuz you won't need it. Instead find yourself a pork shoulder or sometimes called a boston butt or pork butt. And no, it's not a pigs actual butt, that's a ham. Shoulders are something you can normally find anywhere but make sure it has a nice layer of fat on it before you buy it. Sometimes they get over trimmed and pork fat is something you need to make this recipe turn out well. They will vary in size but I would suggest something in the 5-7 pound range if you want about 4 servings.

I'll have to do a post on breaking down a pork butt, but for now I'll give you the easy version of what you'll need to do to get the cut you want. Place the pork shoulder fat side down on a cutting board. If you got one with a bone have that facing towards you and the bone should look like a funny "T". You want to make a horizontal cut at the bottom of the "T". For those of you that have a boneless pork shoulder make the cut around 1 1/2 to 2 inches from the fatty bottom side of the pork shoulder. Go all the way across so you end up with a nice flat piece. If you want the presentation to be fancy you can square it up to make it more uniform. As for the rest of it? Throw it in a crockpot or slow oven and make pulled pork with it. If you want to get adventerous message me and I'll explain how to break the rest of the butt down and give you a couple ideas.

Lay down a bed of green onion on some tin foil and lay the pork fat side down. Cover with more green onion and season with salt. Tightly wrap the pork in foil and cook @ 200 for 6 hours. Cooking this low won't render very much fat-again we want that in there. After it's cooked put it in the refrigerator to completely cool. Give it at least a couple hours or if you plan ahead keep it in the fridge overnight and dinner will be easy the next day.

When ready, unwrap the pork and toss the green onions it was cooked with. You'll notice it hasn't really shrunk much and it may not looked cooked but don't worry, it's safe to eat now but we aren't done. Cut the pork in big square chunks but be sure to leave that fatty side on each piece. In a saute pan on medium heat put the pork fat side down to render some fat. You'll have a couple minutes so it's a good time to mix the sauce. Cook the pieces on each side until golden brown. When browned, soak up some of the fat with a paper towel and tongs. Turn the heat to medium high and add a few tablespoons of the sauce. Keep turning the pork so all sides get nice and caramelized. Next, make some room in the middle of the pan and add the garlic, chilies, carrot, pea pods and green onion and saute for a minute. Add the remaining sauce and water. Cook for a few more minutes so that the sauce thickens up and done. Serve over rice or asian noodles.

The pork:

Pork

1 bunch green onion

Salt

Sauce:

½ C brown sugar

4 tbsp rice vinegar

4 tbsp fish sauce

1 tsp soy sauce

2 tbsp ginger juice (grate a bunch and just squeeze it)

The rest:

8-10 cloves garlic-sliced thin

8-10 dried Arbol chilies

½ C carrot cut into thin matchsticks

½ C pea pods

1 bunch green onion-chopped

1 Cup water

orange sriracha wings

2012-03-11T23:13:00.000-05:00

We've been getting a taste of spring so I broke out a warm weather recipe today. I actually was going to post this one a while back as a Super Bowl recipe but never got around to it. This one doesn't require much in the way of skill either so it's good for all you noobs. If you don't know what sriracha is it's a chile/garlic sauce. Sriracha is fairly spicy on but after mixed with everything in this recipe it's very mild. Basically it's like the Asian version of ranch dressing-it's good on everything.

I'm afraid the mixture isn't really much to look at. When you buy the marmalade look for a brand that doesn't have any or very little white pith on the orange zest. Too much of that white stuff will make the glaze bitter.

1 18oz jar of orange marmalade
1/3 C brown sugar
1/3 C sriracha
1/3 C honey

Mix the ingredients together and bring to a simmer in a small sauce pot. Let the mixture simmer for 10-15 minutes so the flavors get a chance to meld a little and to thicken it up some. Brush or toss the chicken in the warm glaze when it is just about done. There is a ton of sugar in this so you don't want to add it too soon or the sugars will burn.

bleu, bacon and prune pizza

2012-03-01T13:00:00.001-06:00

Yup, prunes. No, I didn't make this to resolve any bodily function issues. I had something similar at a restaurant and thought I would give it a whirl. This pizza is something different and might give you some ideas. If you have good ones you have to share!

Next time I'll add less prunes. They weren't as subtle as I wanted but still good. I didn't think the flavor would compete so much with the bleu cheese. Lesson learned. I also gave the prunes a soak in a little red wine while I was getting the crust done. They weren't dried out or anything I just happen to be having a glass and thought it might add some flavor. I'm not sure it added much so don't go out of your way if you don't want to.

Roll out your pizza dough, add toppings and season with Thyme.

1 pizza crust

1 C chopped prunes

6 oz. crumbled bleu cheese

1/2 lb cooked bacon

thyme

fish taco cups

2012-02-26T23:29:00.000-06:00

I was informed tonight that the boss thinks this is in the top three meals I make. Not sure I really agree since it has fish, but it is pretty good and one of the faster dishes I make. Probably one of the healthiest too. Come to think of it this was only the second time I've made this. I stole it from the food network and haven't changed much of the original recipe, just subbed a few things that are more readily available. I also omitted the creme fraiche the original recipe called for. I didn't think it was really needed.

You start with these little babies. Won tom wrappers, brushed with oil and cooked it muffin tins. Make a nice little edible cup. I'm going to have to use these for other apps. Maybe buffalo chicken dip in a cup?

The filling is bit sized pieces of avocado and mango with some green onion, lime juice and olive oil. Just before serving I tossed in some chopped arugula and the cooked fish. While I was prepping everything I first sliced up some red jalapenos and pickled them in the lime juice. The original recipe called for wasabi powder mixed with creme fraiche. I thought the red would give it some color and since it's on the sweet side it balances the dish out. Wasn't sure the boss wanted them so I took them out. Almost forgot to add them.

Won ton cups:

won ton wrapper

canola oil

Brush both sides of the wrapper with oil and place the in a muffin tin. Push them down to form a cup and bake @ 375 for 6 minutes or until they start to brown. Take them out and let cool.

The filling:

3 T extra virgin olive oil

1 lb fresh tilapia fillets-cut to bite sized pieces

1 avocado-cut into half inch cubes

1 mango-cut into half inch cubes

3 green onion-finely chopped

1 red jalapeno-finely sliced-pickled in lime juice for 15 minutes

3 cups chopped arugula

Heat oil over med-high heat. Season the fish with salt and pepper and cook for 2-3 minutes a side. Set aside for a couple minutes to cool.

The dressing:

juice from two limes

3 T extra virgin olive oil

Whisk the juice and oil together. Add the mango, avocado, green onion, arugula, and jalapeno. Spoon the filling mixture in the cups and place a few pieces of fish on top.

chocolate covered strawberries

2012-02-17T10:18:00.001-06:00

This was the dessert I didn't have time to make on Valentine's Day. The boss only wanted two things. A card that had "mom" written somewhere on it and chocolate covered strawberries. I made a little surf and turf for dinner and by the time we ate it was time for bed. I had these waiting for her when she got home from work Wednesday.

This recipe has a total of three ingredients so try to stay with me here. In a double boiler melt the chocolate and shortening. Next, wait for it....dip the strawberries in the melted chocolate. If you want them all fancy hang the tooth picks in a colander or stick them in a piece of styrofoam so they don't have a flat chocolate spot from laying down. As you can tell I wasn't feeling that fancy so I put mine on some wax paper. Just to be clear I tried melting some white chocolate to drizzle on but turns out white chocolate doesn't really like to be melted and I ended up with pasty white sludge. I think I rushed it.

This is kind of a two for one deal. something I've always wanted to try was chocolate and chile peppers. Keeping things Aztec style in the midwest. For those brave enough to try eating something this crazy (and by crazy I mean something that has been done for centuries) do everything the same except add a small amount of dried chile's to the chocolate before you dip the strawberries. I had about half the chocolate left when I tried and put 2 1/2 teaspoons of cacsabel chiles. One thing I learned is you need to add a fair amount of chiles. Chocolate is hard to over power so finding a balance between chocolate and chiles requires what may seem like a lot of chiles.

This one was my end result. I added a small amount of salt too. Describing the taste is really hard and I'm not sure what I can compare it too. The cascabel is on the mild side so it didn't really add much more than a warming mouth feel as far as the heat goes but the chocolate and chile combo complimented each other very well. It added a complexity that I just can't explain. Imagine having hot chocolate and room temp but it tasting hot because of the chile. That, plus strawberry. I know to a lot of you this may be a little out there but it is crazy good and I'll be playing with the choco+chile combos in the near future. Dark chocolate and ancho chile is sure to be an amazing combo.

11 1/2 oz bag Ghirardelli or other quality milk chocolate chips

1 1/2 T shortening

strawberries

2 T cascabel or other milder chile peppers

Oysters Madison

2012-02-16T18:52:00.001-06:00

I hate to admit when I'm wrong. Here it goes, I was wrong about seafood. For almost 30 years I was sure I hated it. In the past year I've probably consumed more seafood than I have in the past 3 decades. Turns out sushi is good and apparently I think shellfish is pretty amazing when done correctly.

So in my never ending battle to keep from cooking the same things over and over I thought I would give something new a try. Up until now I've never made oysters nor have I ever tried them. There is something about shellfish that had me grossed out. To me it always looked like something you would only eat if you were dared to and not cuz you wanted to. After eating this, my opinion has been changed and once again I've gone the way of the pig and want to stuff my face with them.

I thought I did a fairly good job opening these suckers. No major cuts to my hand but I did get a few small ones in my thumb. My fault though. Don't be dumb like me; use a towel to hold them. To get them open I used a butter knife. Slide it in the back of the oyster where it hinges and work it around to get it open. When you have it open slide your knife under the oyster to separate it from the muscle holding it to the shell.

Here's what I'm talking about. When I took this pic I was thinking "Ick. This looks gross." Now I want to slurp that mess up. So after you open the oysters put them and their juice in a bowl. Pick them up and shake them around a bit to get any grit off them and set them aside. Sauté the shallot in 1 tablespoon of butter until soft and then slowly pour the oyster juice in the pan being careful not pour out any of the small pieces of shell and grit. Let the liquid lightly simmer and reduce by half. At this point I took the liquid off the heat to cool while I did the spinach.

I'm spaced taking pics of the spinach so just use your imagination. I heated the oil in a large sauté pan and through in the spinach, garlic and ginger with a little salt and pepper. Cooked it down for about five minutes or so and boom-done. Back to the Oysters. Now you can put your pan with the oyster liquor and wine back on the heat. I'd say about med-high. This is only going to take 2-3 minutes to cook. While they are cooking take the cooked spinach and put a layer on a plate for the shells to sit on and put a little but in each shell too. By the time you have this done the oysters will probably be ready. They won't be well done but heated through at this point. They are fine to eat raw so please don't overcook them. You'll just end up with tough, chewy oysters. Put an oyster in each shell.

Now, back to the sauce. If I could I would make a batch of this just to drink. The final product is a mix of wine, the ocean and butter. Who could hate it? So crack the heat up and get the liquid boiling and whisk in the butter. The boiling will emulsify the butter, wine and oyster juice making a creamy sauce for your oysters. This won't take long. Once the butter is melted its done. Spoon that sauce over each of the oysters to fill them.

Look at the bottom right oyster in the last pic. See the goofy looking part that’s separated? That's the mantle. Raw, the mantle will fall on itself. It a good indicator that they are done when they stay separated.

One last thing I forgot to add before I posted this. After you clean up your shells put them in the oven the heat up before you use them. They'll help keep your food warm longer.

12 oysters and their liquor

1 C dry white wine

1 T unsalted butter

1 shallot

1 6oz bag of baby spinach

1 T chopped garlic

1 T chopped ginger

2 T unsalted butter

soft pretzel sticks

2012-02-04T15:12:00.000-06:00

I've been a bit busy this week so I haven't had much play time in the kitchen. The boss did send me a couple recipes she found and I gave this one a try today. I wanted to get another Super Bowl idea out there for everyone and if this one failed I was going to do chicken wing recipe but that will have to wait.

I just finished stuffing my face with these and we even got my oldest to try it. I think that's my new test for recipes. If my daughter will eat it has to be good. The boss and I had ours with store bought sweet and hot honey mustard but they would go nicely with a little cheese sauce. Buffalo chicken dip seems to be all the rage and dipping these in some of that business would be amazing. I didn't take any prep pics this time around due to the chaos in this house. Not much to see anyways it would look just like this.

This pig woke up just in time to get them while they were still warm. He was pleased. Instead of typing it out here is the link to the recipe I used. I didn't really deviate from the recipe since I rarely bake and making pretzels was a first for me. I didn't have any Maldon salt so I used Kosher and it worked just fine. One thing I noticed when I was making kneading the dough was that I had at least a 1/4 cup left over flour. Weighing is a more accurate way to measure so I assume that's why there was so much left. When you make yours just incorporate as much as you can without making your dough too dry.

These will keep so make them a day ahead if you want. They are good at room temp but if you want to reheat throw them in the oven for a few minutes to warm back up.

I couldn't resist making one like this

braised pears in a caramel apple cream sauce

2012-01-31T11:41:00.001-06:00

I saw this made a week or so ago and have been struggling to find the time to try it on my own. The wife and kids ate the pears I was going to use earlier in the week so I had to get more and hope that they wouldn't touch them. I travel for work so I was taking a risk by leaving the pears unattended all week. I know, I live life one the edge.

When I come home from being on the road sometimes the best I can hope to do on the weekends is maintain. I don't think I sat down for more than a half hour today and I feel like I didn't really get anything done. Clean, watch the kids, run an errand, clean some more, watch the kids, made my daughter this "special dessert", which she wouldn't try and put the kids to bed. For all of you know it alls that like to give advice on how to get picky kids to eat please reread that last run on sentence. I made caramel and couldn't get my 3 year old to try it. Now that I finally have 15 minutes to myself I just realized all I had to eat was a bologna sandwich and one of these pears. I hate that. I was fine a minute ago and now that I know I forgot to eat I'm probably going to die of starvation if I don't eat in the next few minutes.

In typical guy fashion I didn't leave well enough alone. The original recipe is from a world class chef that doesn't need any of my help, but I thought I would mess with it a little. Playing in the kitchen makes for a wild and crazy Saturday night and I was looking for a good time. Before I messed with it the recipe didn't call for adding any additional liquid unless the pears were not ripe. My pear were but I happened to be drinking a little homemade apple pie cocktail that my sister gave us as a gift and thought I'd add some. It was a good idea.

This guy had to go to bed but he seemed impressed. He's a pig too so he was made he didn't get any.

Here's how to do it. Peel, core and cut off the stem of the pears. Lay them flat in a baking dish and sprinkle coat the pears and the pan with the sugar. Stick them in the oven @ 425 for 30-40 minutes. If you have very ripe pears they will cook fast and fall apart so keep an eye out. If that's the case take the pears out to cool and finish making the caramel in a sauce pan. If the pears are not ripe they won't give up much juice so you may need to add a little liquid in the pan. Water will work, but apple juice or maybe a little spiced rum would add a little more complexity. Poke the pears with a knife to check for doneness. They should be soft and the knife should go in without any resistance. When the pears are soft add the cream and bake for another 10-15 minutes and bast the pears every 5 minutes.

Bartlett pears

1/4 C sugar

1/2 C apple juice or liquid of your choice

1 C heavy cream

pistachios to garnish

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Roasted red pepper dip

2012-01-27T17:00:00.002-06:00

This post has been one of the most popular so far. With the Super Bowl coming up everyone is looking for appetizers to graze on and this recipe is only slightly different than the mushroom one. Plus, I'm gonna earn some brownie points with the boss for making this. She's asked a couple times in the last month for some more of this and has no idea this is waiting for her when she get home.

Start off by making a a Bechamel. Melt the butter in a saute pan on medium heat. Once the butter is melted stir in the flour and cook for a few minutes. Next, stir in the milk.

Bring the milk to a gentle boil and then take the pan off the heat, season with the cayenne and stir in the cheeses and pureed roasted red bell pepper. You can buy jarred peppers but get you own and stick them under the broiler for about 15 minutes to make your own. You just need to peel the skin off once the cool.

Put the mixture in an oven safe bowl and top with a little xtra cheese if you want. Cook until it starts to bubble and get a little brown on top.

1/4 C unsalted butter
1/4 C AP flour
2 C whole milk
1/2 C grated parmesan cheese
1/2 C shredded jack cheese
1 roasted red bell pepper
pinch cayenne pepper

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How to apply a spice rub

2012-01-25T20:38:00.000-06:00

After posting the Carne Asada Rub recipe and thinking back on when I've shared rub recipes in the past I realized not everyone knows how to properly apply a rub or have even used one before. Yes, you can just sprinkle it on but there are some ins and outs to using rubs that will help. I'm sure some of you may have purchased rubs from the grocery store and used them with success. Some of those rubs are pretty good but most are bad. One thing to look for when buying them is to see if they contain salt. Most will and in general, I would stay away from them. I know it may sound crazy but it you pay attention you'll find that there are different qualities of salt and the premade rubs and spice mixes are normally loaded with it. Generally it's low quality salt that has sort of a metallic taste. Salt it cheap so they add it to add volume to their products. Adding cheap salt=adding less of the more expensive herbs and spices=more money for the manufacturer=the consumer getting screwed over.

salted and ready for rub

rubbed

You want to avoid adding salt to homemade rub recipes for two reasons. 1.) You want to have control over the salt in your food. Always taste your food and adjust the seasonings if you need to before serving. If you use a store bought rub that's full of salt you have no way of reducing the salt content. If you make your own salt free rub you can always add more later if you need to. 2.) Salt draws out moisture from whatever you put it on. In this case when you put salt on a skirt steak and let it sit for 15 minutes it will draw out moisture from the meat and that moisture is what your rub is going to stick to. When you get to this point just coat the meat in an even layer of rub and you're ready to cook.

I can already hear what some of you are thinking. "Won't drawing moisture out dry out the meat"? Unless you are packing your meat in salt and letting it sit for days, no, it won't. Fat and connective tissue in meat is what makes it moist after it's cooked, the water content plays a very small role in the outcome. I've become used to people not listening to me (I am married and have kids after all) so if you make this and are worried about it, do me a favor and wait a half hour after you rub the meat. If you do it my way and let it sit out a while longer after you apply the rub the meat will reabsorb that moisture and suck in a little of the rub with it.

grilled

sliced and still juicy

Carne Asada Rub

2012-01-24T16:26:00.000-06:00

You know those tacos you get at the mexican place? We've all had them. They usually taste better than the ground hamburger ones you make at home with that packet of taco seasoning. Don't get me wrong, I'm slowly turning into a food elitist but I still understand if that's the best you've had you may not know something better is out there. Or maybe it’s out of convenience or like most people it never crossed your mind that you could do it better. Whatever your reason stop wasting your money on the packet junk. It's gross and full of salt. Instead spend a few dollars up front and make a batch of this and you'll be making better Carne Asada tacos than that restaurant you get them from.

On a more personal note the boss told me that I shouldn't share this recipe. When I asked why she said if I ever become a rich and famous chef I need to keep a few recipes secret. Until that day comes I'm sharing. Funny thing is, she told me a minute later I should put this on my blog. Do you see the kind of crazy I deal with?

For all of you kids out there that are big on craft projects take a look. Remember when you were younger and you would put the colored sand or whatever in a glass jar and make layers? Same thing. Maybe if you like it and know someone that uses those packets you can make them a gift? With fancy ribbons and bows!! But not glitter.

My daughter's first photo bomb!

Checking it out.

aaaahhhhhhh!!!

Equal parts of the following:
white pepper
black pepper
ground cumin
dried oregano
chile powder
garlic powder
*chile blend*

I make mix of different chile's that I use. You can just use cayenne if you want to add heat. Cayenne adds heat but doesn't really have much flavor. If you want your rub on the milder side you don't need to add anything else but could use paprika just for some filler. Unless you get a high quality paprika its flavor doesn't stand up to heat so adding it in this will only make the rub go a little further. Below is what I usually make but I suggest playing around with different blends. Adding different chile's gives a more complex range of flavors.

chile blend:
1 tbsp ancho chile
1 tbsp gaujillo chile
1 tsp aleppo chile
1 tsp cascabel chile

Carne Asada Rub

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White wine glazed mushroom and cheese dip

2012-01-22T15:59:00.000-06:00

I may do a post on making a Béchamel sauce eventually but for today I'll just give you a recipe for it, no pics to share yet. For those of you that don't know I think Béchamel is French for "fattening white sauce". I never said this blog was dedicated to healthy meals. We all get enough of the "eat healthy and exercise" business and you won't find any of that crap here. Take a walk every once in a while and your food won't kill you. Maybe eat a vegetable here and there.

Béchamel sauce
3 C whole milk
1/3 C unsalted butter
1/3 C flour
cayenne
salt

One 8 oz package white button mushrooms-quartered
One 8 oz package portabella mushrooms-sliced
1/2 C shredded Jack Cheese
1/2 C shredded Parmesan Cheese
1/4 white wine
4 tbsp unsalted butter-divided
parmigiano reggiano

In a sauté pan on medium heat melt the butter. Whisk the flour in gradually to make a roux. Be sure to keep the mixture moving so it doesn't burn. Basically what you are doing here is cooking the flour you added so it doesn't have a raw flour taste. It should take about minutes but when it starts to smell kind of nutty it's ready. Next slowly add the milk while whisking to keep lumps from forming. Keeping the milk cold will also help but don't worry if you have a few small lumps. Keep stirring until it comes to a boil and then take the pan off the heat. Congratulations! You just made a Béchamel sauce. Season with salt and a pinch of cayenne pepper and stir in both cheeses. We'll get back to this in a bit.

Sautee the button mushrooms in two tbsps butter until softened. After they're cooked you'll want to chop them as fine as you can get them. A food processor works well here but if you don't have one just use a knife. Stir them to the pan with the Béchamel sauce.

Next you'll want to brown the remaining butter in a sauté pan over medium high heat. Browning the butter adds a more intense, nutty flavor and will help caramelize the mushrooms. Just give the melted butter some time in the pan to darken a little. Add the portabellas and sauté until they are caramelized. Once they start to caramelize add the wine and cook for a minute or until the wine has evaporated. Cooked mushrooms have a hard time absorbing liquid so they won't soak the wine up at all. The outside will be lightly glazed and the wine flavor will be somewhat subtle. You can skip this step if you want but sometimes I get fancy.

Put the Béchamel into an oven proof baking dish and top with the portabella mushrooms. Cook under the broiler until the top gets brown and bubbly.

It should look something like this

Top it off with a little parmigiano reggiano and serve with bread or vegetables for dipping.

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Soupe à l’Oignon Gratinée

2012-01-19T19:57:00.000-06:00

It's french.

My sister recently asked for a french onion soup recipe. I've never made it and to be honest I can only remember having this soup once at a restaurant, in southwest MN. (where only the finest soups are served) Wasn't really a fan. Turns out I am a fan I just didn't like the crappy soup the restaurant served me. I won't name names. From what I remember it was salty beef broth with very few onions and a layer of bland cheese on top. Sounds good right? The more I cook and improve my skills in the kitchen the more I wonder why restaurants serve garbage when making it well takes little effort.

For this particular soup you need to let the onions caramelize. Not just get a little color; you want a deep rich brown color. The few onions I had in the bland soup I mentioned had little to no color on them. In most cooking color on your food means more flavor. Take your time and let the onions do their thing. Also, I apologize for this being kind of a pic heavy post. I was able to cook with no one home and had time to take some pics.

This soup is amazingly simple but is big on flavor without being overpowering. I'm often surprised how easy some food is to make. I always try to make things complicated when I should be trying to dumb things down. This recipe comes from a chef I know of that spends much of his free time helping other out that like to play chef at home but need help from time to time. Since this soup is kind of new to me I didn't really stray too far away from his recipe.

3 tbsp unsalted butter
3 tbsp olive oil
5 medium yellow onions
pinch of sugar
one sprig of fresh thyme

couple of bay leaves

1 tbps minced garlic
1 C dry white wine

3 C low sodium chicken stock

3 C low sodium beef stock
salt and white pepper to taste

Per bowl:
toasted french or baguette bread-sliced about an inch thick
1/3 C good quality Swiss cheese such as Gruyère or Emmentaler. You can sub provolone too. You need enough to cover the bowl you're using so the quantity can very
1 tsp freshly grated Parmegiano Reggiano per bowl

Slice the onions and heat the butter and olive oil in a large pot on medium heat. Add the onion, sugar, thyme and bay leaves and a pinch of salt and toss to coat evenly. This next part will take a little time but it's worth it. Let the onions cook down for about an hour. You'll need to keep an eye on them so they don't burn so stir every so often. Also make sure the fond or "the stuff stuck on the bottom of the pot" doesn't burn.

Cook time will vary depending on the pot used, thickness and so on, but you will want them to cook for at least 40-45 minutes. To get mine where I wanted it took a closer to an hour. When you are satisfied with the onions push them to the side of the pot and add and stir the garlic for about a minute and then combine everything. Pour in the wine and raise the heat to high to bring to a boil. One the wine is boiling reduce to medium and at this point the thyme leaves will have come off so take the stem and bay leaves out and cook a few minutes to evaporate most of the wine. Be sure to scrape any of the fond off the bottom of the pot too.

Pour in the chicken and beef stock and raise the heat to high again to bring it to a boil. Once it's boiling reduce down to medium-low for a gentle simmer. Let it cook for a solid hour so the flavors can mingle. After an hour give it a taste and adjust for salt and add a little white pepper if you have it. If not black pepper will be fine.

Done

If you don't want to mess with the bread and cheese go ahead and eat. I may have had a small helping when I made it. Again, I was kind of shocked I liked it as much as I did. I am kind of a pig so I don't know why I'm ever surprised I like something. For those that want to go all the way add the soup to an oven safe bowl and top with the toasted bread and cheeses. Place it a few inches under the broiler but keep an eye on it so it doesn't burn.

If you do some poking around you'll find recipes that call for red or white wine and some with sherry. When you come across recipes that can use either and don't know what to do, use what you like to drink and generally you can't go wrong. That usually will work. When I drink wine, I prefer red but seem to prefer cooking with white so it isn't a fool proof plan. I like cooking with both but just like how white brightens flavors and in a dish like this I think red might be overpowering for my taste. No one can tell you the right answer so get some wine, try it out, experiment and eventually you'll start to figure out what you like best.

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Pizza Dough in 10 easy steps

2012-01-17T20:06:00.000-06:00

This is one anyone that eats should learn. I've been trying for over 10 years to get my wife to learn how to make pizza dough. No dice. I think I got her to watch me do it once or twice but that's it. Pizza dough was probably the first "real" food I learned how to make. I could make frozen pizza and food from a box but this was my first real adventure in cooking. My first job when I was in high school was at a local pizza place so it was a natural first step. As I start to write out recipes I've come to realize that I don't do a very good job measuring anything which makes writing recipes somewhat of a challenge. For this crust I measure the water and the yeast but that's it. I've probably made this hundreds of times and after having a few dough disasters I started to go by touch instead of measurements. Try going by look and feel. If it's too sticky add some flour. Too dry? Add a splash of water. The flour measurements I have listed below will get you very close but you may need to make adjustments as needed.

Step One: combine the yeast, water and sugar.

Step Two: Go do something else for 15 minutes or so. You want to give the yeast some time to do its thing. When it starts to form bubbles on the surface of the water it's ready.

Step Three: Add Extra Virgin Olive Oil and salt or any additional seasonings you want (herbs, garlic, etc.)

Step Four: Add Flour and stir until you have a ball formed

Step Five: Knead the dough. This recipe will make four personal sized pizzas, two larger or one extra thick crust pizza. Before you start to knead the dough it may be helpful to divide the dough up whichever way you plan on using it. When I knead I basically grab the dough and with both hands fold the dough under itself which will gently stretch it. It forms a ball that's easier to use later

I added a blend of Italian herbs to this batch. It's an easy way to sneak in more flavor.

Step Six: Now comes the hard part. Waiting. To be honest I've been known to skip this step and go to step seven. To play by the rules cover the dough and let it rise for an hour. This will allow the dough to rise or "proof" which makes for a more flavorful crust and a little easier to work with. I think letting it go longer at room temperature and then putting it in the fridge for a day is the way to go but again I don't usually have that kind of time and people in my house want to eat it not look at it.

Step Seven: Form the crust. This was the most intimidating part for me when I was learning how to make pizza. Probably because I thought pizza needed to be in the form of a perfect circle otherwise it was a failure. Turns out pizza doesn't care what shape it is. If this part makes you a little nervous go ahead and use a rolling pin. (one more thing to wash) Or pound it out with your hands to flatten it. For those of you that want to "toss" the dough in the air practice with a wet wash cloth first. It's really not as hard as you would think but you don't want to mess up the dough you've made. In one way or another form the dough into something that looks like it could be a pizza. Any way you choose be sure you're working on a floured surface.

Step Eight: Add the toppings. If you've been playing along you should have nice sauce to use...

You have two options on how to do this. If you have a pizza peel congratulations, you're a pizza nerd just like me. If not turn a baking sheet upside down and make your pizza on that. Be sure you put corn meal or bread crumbs either the peel or baking sheet before you put your dough on it. Once you're down topping slide it from the peel or baking sheet to the pizza stone

Step Nine: Cook on a preheated pizza stone as high as your oven will go. Cook time will vary depending on thickness of the crust, oven temp and toppings so you'll want to keep an eye on it. It will be in the neighborhood of 8-12 minutes though.

Step 10: Eat!

Pizza Dough Ingredients:

1 1/2 C warm water

1/4 oz envelope dry active yeast

pinch of white sugar

1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1 tsp salt

3-4 C AP flour start with 3 and add as needed.

Marinara Sauce

2012-01-15T15:05:00.000-06:00

A couple things I've learned in the past couple days.
1.) If you have kids and try to do something like update a blog your kids will do everything in their power to stop you. These couple of sentences have taken me about 10 minutes and only one of two kids are awake.
2.) I need to figure out a way to take my pics during the day so I can use natural light. Again, kids running around make cooking during the day challenging. Normally I can't cook until it's close to their bed time.

I'll be posting several recipes in the future that use a red sauce. I thought before I do I'll post my go to marinara recipe. In the past I tried several complicated recipes and nothing impressed me. I finally went with an easy version a while back and I can't go back to a store bought sauce now that I found something I like.

Any tomatoes will work but these make the difference between a sauce that's just ok and a sauce that is great. These are the secret to a great red sauce. They're tomatoes that come from the San Marzano region in Italy. They are a meaty plum variety and have very few seeds. I can't stand that seedy slime you get in most tomatoes. As far as I know all of the bigger chain grocery stores carry them. If you’re looking they shouldn't be hard to find.

1 28 oz can San Marzano tomatoes
1/2 C chopped onion
1/3 C white wine
1/4 C fresh Italian parsley-chopped
1 6 oz can tomato paste
3 tbsp olive oil
2-3 cloves chopped garlic
1 tbsp dried oregano
salt and black pepper to taste

You may want to use a larger pot for this since the sauce can splatter a little. Heat the olive oil over medium heat and add the onion. Let them sweat a few minutes and add the chopped garlic. I wait until the garlic is just starting to brown but don't let it burn or it will get bitter and gross.

Add the remaining ingredients. The San Marzano tomatoes need some help getting broken up so smash them up with a spoon or lightly with a potato masher. To be truly authentic squish them with your hands. The sauce won’t be extremely smooth when finished so if that’s what you’re after you can blend it but you're going to let the sauce simmer uncovered for an hour or longer and that will also break down the tomatoes. If the sauce is getting thicker than you want just add a splash of water (or wine) otherwise simmer until it's the consistency you like.

This is a basic recipe that’s great on its own but add whatever sounds good. Often I use additional herbs, mushrooms, meat or red wine. This is hard to mess up so don’t be afraid to make it your own and try new things. Just taste as you make changes and you should be fine.

Chocolate Mousse

2012-01-14T14:21:00.000-06:00

Kind of funny how I'm starting this blog with my two least favorite foods, seafood and now dessert. I probably get more pleasure out of watching other people eat dessert than on the rare occasion I have them. I assume it's from having too many sweets as a kid. In fact I probably like making them more than I like eating them. The best part is the look on people’s faces when they take those first few bites of a dessert they really enjoy. Priceless. You know that "I really shouldn't be eating this but don't you dare try to stop me" look? Their head goes down and dessert goes in.

I just got a new fancy camera so I'm still working on learning all the bells and whistles. Hopefully the camera/editing skills improve some in the near future.

One 11.5 oz bag of Ghirardelli bittersweet chocolate

1/2 C water-divided

4 egg yolks

3 tbsp unsalted butter

4 tbsp sugar

1 1/2 C heavy whipping cream-whipped

In a double boiler, pour in the chocolate, butter and half the water. Heat until the chocolate and butter are melted. Let it cool in the fridge if you want but I think it's just as good warm too.

In a sauce pan whisk the egg yolks, sugar and the rest of your water over medium-low heat. Keep whisking or you'll end up with sweetened scrabbled eggs. You're supposed to heat the eggs to 160 to kill any bacteria and whatnot. Unless you get your eggs straight from the chicken I wouldn't worry too much. If you are worried a couple minutes should get you there.

Whisk the chocolate into your eggs. Once they are combined fold your whip cream in. I used to do this with a spatula but I recently learned doing it with a whisk works better. It takes a little longer and maybe it's in my head but I think it helps keep the mousse from getting "flat".

Beer Mussels and Chorizo

2012-01-12T20:54:00.000-06:00

I'm not a huge fan of seafood. Wait, let me try that again. I think most seafood is gross. It's just not my thing but I'm trying. Weird thing is I seem to be adding seafood items to my cool book. Maybe I'm coming around? On a somewhat rare occasion a few weeks ago the wife and I were able to eat lunch together without kids. The Valley Tap House recently opened nearby and the boss had been waiting for months to go there. Reasonable prices, original food and a great beer selection. We'll be back.

The boss ordered mussels as an app. I reluctantly tried and enjoyed them! Thought I would give them a whirl at home. This one is a keeper folks. How could any dish be bad when it’s made with Belgian beer and sausages?

1 bottle Saison Dupont
1 lb. mussels scrubbed and debearded
2 links of Chorizo-sliced
1 shallot-minced
3 cloves of garlic-minced
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tsp Ancho chile powder

Heat oil in a large dutch oven or a pot big enough to steam the mussels in. Sautee the shallot and garlic until soft.

Pour in the beer, sliced chorizo and Ancho powder and simmer for around 10 minutes or until the smell of alcohol has faded. For those of you afraid of chiles, please stop. If Jalapenos and Cayenne pepper is as far as you've pushed your culinary boundaries it’s time to push them a little further. Ancho has a very earthy, raison like flavor with a very subtle heat. You'll like it.

Dump your mussels in and steam until they start to open-shouldn’t take more than five minutes. If you have any stubborn mussels that don't want to open give them little whack and they should pop open. Serve with some crusty bread to mop up with. Enjoy!