My Wife And Twins

About This Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:34:00 +0000

I am the only man in a house of 3 females and this blog is here to tell my story….

My Name Is Michael, I am 32 years old and I work in IT for a living. I am a geek at heart and I love gadgets and gizmos.

I am married to Emma and have been for 10 years. We have beautiful twin girls, Amy and Lilly, born in March 2006. They are non identical and they have very different personalities.

I started this blog to document what it is to be a husband and a father to twins. My experience, my stories and anything I find that is either informational or darn right funny about it all. But as work and family matters took priority, I couldn't spare the time to keep up. So this is now the story of how my girls became and their first 2 years of life.

Like every blog, things have to start somewhere, so why not start here. I like to call it back story. This is where it all began for me and Emma when we started trying for children.

I hope you enjoy the ride. Feel free to contact me.

Michael

The Decision - Back Story - Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:11:00 +0000

It took me ages to come around to the idea of having children. I did want them but this to me was the last step into full mature adulthood. My wife Emma and I had been married for just over eight years and in that time we had had fun, moved into a nice house and had holidays abroad. I thought a few times that we never had enough money to start a family until one day I thought "That’s it if we carry on thinking about money then it will never happen, lets just do it" (pardon the pun).

The Positive Test - Back Story - Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:33:00 +0000

It was September 2005 and it had been a few weeks after our first try (I’m sure there is a technical term for it). Emma had a feeling she was pregnant. We were at a friend’s house after staying the night and it was a Sunday morning. My friends were still in bed and after about half an hour of getting up we decided to go. We said our good byes and set off the one hundred or so mile trip back home. Almost home and we decided to get a pregnancy test, both of us not really thinking that it would happen this quick.

The village chemist was shut so we went to the nearest town and found a place open. I was shrewd and purchased a three pack of tests thinking about the future, plus they were on offer. We got home and read the instructions, pee here and wait five minutes, best time to test is first thing in the morning. We both wanted to know in five minutes time not in the morning so she went and peed on the stick.

It was a fairly non eventful five minutes we looked at each other every now and then with the “what if” look in our eyes and in our minds just waiting for the clock. Time was up.

I had to take a picture of the event just make sure it was true. I was chuffed and a little proud (of myself for being a man). Emma rang her mum. It didn’t sink in for quite a while, well 13 weeks to be exact because then there would be actual video evidence.

Before the scan would be my 30th birthday but none of that really mattered, I just wanted to get to the scan and see our baby. Little did we know that there would be company in there.

The 13 Week Scan - Back Story - Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:16:00 +0000

November 2005. We were nervous and excited. Emma was feeling semi okay this afternoon as the morning sickness had worn off a little. When I say morning sickness I realised quite quickly that it meant throwing up any time of the day or night, they don’t tell you that little fact.

We waited as each couple went in and out with their files and folder full of new baby stuff. They called out Emma’s name, my heart did that thing where it seems to move half way up your chest. This was it.

Emma lay on the bed; there was a TV screen above the end of the bed where we both could see the event. The sonographer said some stuff about what was going to happen. The gel went on Emma’s stomach, the sonographer turned out the light and it was show time.

Within about a minute of me staring at stuff on the screen I didn’t really understand, the sonographer came out with “are you seeing what I’m seeing” Emma said “is it twins?” the sonographer nodded her head.

After my first reaction of “Oh My God” I sat there in a daze looking up at the screen in ore with both my hands on my face with I’m sure, a look of complete shock. My mind was going back to conversations with my mum and aunt about there being twins in the family and also conversations with Emma’s mum and dad about the same thing on their side. “It skips a generation you know” after Emma’s mum told me that her mother in law was a twin. At the time I just laughed thinking that it isn’t going to happen!
The sonographer carried on explaining where things were and I could pick out the bodies now with their little hearts beating ten to the dozen. She took all of the measurements of the little beans, it was great. We got three pictures, one of them on their own and one together.

Bean 1

Bean 2

Before she finished, she showed us an empty area where there could have been a third embryo which never developed. At that point I didn’t take in what she said much because I was still in shock. I think about how that would have changed our lives even more with triplets but I don’t think about it too much.

We had to stick around the hospital a lot longer now because everything had just got more complicated. We couldn’t have the usual Down syndrome tests because it didn’t work on twins. They had to do a different test and it had to be done on that day. I didn’t mind though because there were more scans to measure the baby’s heads for water pressure or something but we got a good look at our little beans moving around for about twenty minutes.

We got out of the hospital. We phoned everyone. Emma’s mum just laughed down the phone, I think she was a little in shock too. I went back to work in shock. I don’t remember much about the rest of the day after that.

The Pregnancy - Back Story - Part 4

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:26:00 +0000

We did everything right, Emma took all the pills and vitamins to give them all the good stuff they needed in there and she took it easy. She had all of the checkups regularly and she had a 20 week scan. There were to be at least 2 more scans before the big day. We took a few pictures of Emma’s bump as she got bigger and bigger. We had the usual happy milestones as well, the first movements and the first time I felt them kick.

We attended some antenatal classes with a midwife and a few other people. This was to give us an idea about what was to come in the birth she talked about stuff showed us a video the usual stuff I guess. She also showed us some implements that typically get used in a birth, one of which was, in her words the worst case scenario which were a set of steel forceps that could go around the babies head and pull it out if necessary. She said that this was rarely used though.

We got a heart Doppler from eBay so that we could listen to their heart beats whenever we wanted. Being the geek I am I managed to get a recording of them too.

24 Weeks

- 28 Weeks

32 Weeks

Emma stayed at work for as long as she could and she lasted 31 weeks to her credit. In the end though she was uncomfortable and wasn’t sleeping much as they were doing cartwheels in there. She really thought she couldn’t get much bigger. It turns out she was right.

"Happy 33rd" - Back Story - Part 5

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 09:10:00 +0000

Is what I said to Emma when I woke up that Thursday morning. I was referring to her 33rd week of being pregnant with our so far unsexed twins. I had being saying that for the last couple of Thursdays almost as a countdown. I got ready for work, kissed her good bye (no breakfast, bad boy) and I made the usual 50 mile, 1hour 30 minutes trip to work.

It was only my 3rd week at my new job so I was just finding my feet. I got in early; my first job of the day was to make a cup of tea for myself. I exchanged pleasantries with a couple of people in the kitchen and then headed back to my desk. I logged into my PC and the fancy telephone software on there had told me I had a missed call. It was home and I had missed it by about 30 seconds. I called back straight away, it was engaged. My mind started to race. I left it a minute and called back.

Emma answered I asked whether she was okay, she said “No, my waters have just broke”, “Oh crap” I thought to myself “I’m on my way” I said out loud to her. She explained to me that she had got through to her mum and dad and they were going to pick her up and take her to the hospital and I should meet them there. It was a good plan and made sense as they were closer to her than me. I told my work colleague what was going on and told him to tell my boss when he got in and then I legged it out of there and got back into my car that I had just gotten out of 15 minutes earlier and headed 40 miles to the hospital.

I had to get fuel for my car as well as some credit for my phone. I called my mum and dad to let them know what was going on. I made it to the hospital before Emma and the in-laws did. They finally arrived; Emma’s dad dropped her and her mum off and headed back to work. We checked in and were escorted to an examining room.

After waiting around for a while (I amused myself by playing with a computer screen that was above the bed, it had a phone and everything, I already said that I was a geek), Emma was examined and it was confirmed that her waters had broke. She was strapped to a machine that read both of the babies heart beats as well as read if she was having contractions. She had a steroid injection in her bum. This was for the babies benefit to try and strengthen their lungs before their impending arrival to give them a fighting chance. Things then were quiet for a while.

Eventually she was taken off the machine and wheeled into a ward with other women and there we stayed for a while. I got some credit for the computer over the bed (most beds had them) and we watched TV on it for a while. Emma’s dad came back from work to join us.

After a while Emma started to complain about being in pain on and off and to me it looked like she was having regular contractions. It took an absolute age for a nurse to take notice as she thought that this was very early on and there was nothing to worry about. The nurse put Emma back on the heart / contraction machine and went off again. At this point she was having fairly regular contractions and I wondered if this was going to go on for a while. You do hear about women who are in labour for days (when was I going to get time to pee?). The nurse returned and after some badgering, she examined Emma. To the nurses shock she was already 8 centimetres dilated. Well that was it we were whisked off to another room to prepare for the main event.

The Preparation - Back Story - Part 6

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:41:00 +0000

What Follows is the most surreal 5 Hours of my life. In the preparation room there were all sorts of stuff that I recognised as hospital things but that was it. I don’t remember there being a computer in that room above the bed. That was a statement in itself “This must be the business room, no time to lie around and watch TV here” I thought to myself. A midwife came in; she looked like she had delivered a million children before these because she was very calm and confident. She went through the usual stuff and asked Emma what pain relief she wanted. It looked like she was going to give birth naturally but because of the twins it would be advisable to have an epidural just in case they had to do an emergency C section but we had never really got to the stage of talking about that sort of thing. So she said epidural. Emma was then introduced to gas and air, she was still having contractions but now she could breathe in the gas and air as she was going through them.

A specialist came around to examine Emma, at some points during the exam, he had his tongue out which to me looked as if he was reaching down the back of some sofa looking for something he had dropped earlier. Anyway at about that point she was about 9 centimetres dilated so there was still a while to go.

The midwife came back in with a set of hospital scrubs for me to wear during the main event. I was quite excited about it actually (I’m a fan of the TV show Scrubs) even though I may have looked a bit of an idiot, I felt quite cool and I just wanted to randomly run around and shout “I need 10 milligrams of thorosine STAT”, but I didn’t. In fact I got told off for going in the corridor wearing them trying to find Emma’s mum and dad to tell them what was going on.

Emma’s mum and dad eventually came in the room to tell us that they were going as visiting hours were over so they wished her good luck and off they went home to await news.

Emma continued with the contractions. After some of the contractions when she took the gas and air mask off she looked completely stoned which was confirmed when the anaesthesiologist can in and asked if she knew what was involved in the epidural. She just said “Needle, back, numb”. Short and to the point I suppose but the half shut eyes and the way she said it in a Cheech and Chong way made me laugh.

The anaesthesiologist was ready to do the epidural. Emma had to sit up on the bed; she leaned over putting her hands on my shoulders and we waited for a window where she wasn’t having a contraction. Looking back on this I wouldn’t trust this chap to fix my fridge let alone place a tube between a small space in the lower spinal cord. It took him 3 attempts to get the tube in and during his attempts he was shaking his head in frustration. I could also hear the grinding where the needle brushed against Emma’s back bone and she told me since that she could feel it. Today there are a couple of small scars there and she can still feel a twinge in that area every now and then. Anyway, if I had drawn a bull’s-eye in the right place I think it would have got done quicker.

Emma was examined again and it was time. 10 centimetres dilated, numb from the waist down she was wheeled into the operating room. The older midwife had finished for the night and she was replaced by one that looked 12 years old but she was saying all the right stuff so I wasn’t bothered. The main event was about to start and I had a front row seat.

The Birth - Back Story - Part 7

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:46:00 +0000

I had a seat next to Emma and I held her hand all of the time and quite far enough away from the business end. I don’t think I was the cliché man, I sat there giving her encouraging smiles and not shouting out and breathing with her and actually pretending that I had any idea what she must have been going through.

What followed was about an hour or so of contractions and pushing. I had the machine near me and could see the babies heart beats and the contractions. I figured out when the contractions were coming and I knew when the midwife was going to tell Emma to push. Emma on the other hand had no idea when the contractions were coming because she couldn’t feel a single thing. This was becoming a problem because as much as she was pushing nothing was moving south.

A doctor was called in to do an assisted birth. I recognised her from one of the appointments that we had. She explained that the babies heart beats were starting to become a little slower and it was time to give them some encouragement to get them out. Then the things that were rarely used came out. Yes the steal forceps.

The doctor went in and positioned twin one’s head in the correct position. Emma was then treated to an episiotomy (a small cut to open things up a bit). I saw the forceps go in and at 22:02 on the next contraction the doctor pulled out twin number one, a girl, Lilly. We were given a quick look at her before she was taken away to be taken care of by half a dozen people.

Thirteen minuets later at 22:15 twin number two, also a girl, Amy, was delivered in the same fashion. She looked the same as Lilly did; eyes wide open with a shocked look on her face as if to say “what the hell just happened”. She was whisked away also. I was very relieved to here two screaming babies just before they were taken to the special care baby unit.

I sat there with Emma, while she was being stitched up and no word of a lie, 2 minutes after delivering twin girls she said “well I guess we should try for a boy then”. I laughed and put that down to the drugs talking.

I got changed out of my scrubs while Emma was being tidied up. At this point I was quite ripe. Once she had been wheeled back to the ward and was settled, I was invited to go down to see the girls.

It was quite shocking to see them. They were on CPAP which is basically oxygen fed in through the nose. They both had splints on there arms to hold wires and tubes in place. They were also very battered and bruised around the face where they had been pulled out by the forceps. I was assured though that they were in good hands. I was given a couple of Polaroid’s with them each on. I went back up stairs and showed them to Emma as it would be a couple of hours before she could see them.

Lilly

Amy

I sat with Emma for a while and then made all of the phone calls to the grand parents to give them the happy news. I then went home. I was a father to twin girls “Oh My God”.

The Reality - Back Story - Part 8

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:25:00 +0000

April 2006 and Emma was discharged a few days after popping the girls out and I was already back at work. I planned to take two weeks off when the girls came home.

The Special Care Baby Unit, for me took a while to get used to. It was full of very small, mostly premature babies that needed all the help that they could get in the first few weeks of their lives. There were machines everywhere, to help them breath to monitor them and to feed them. At the start Lilly and Amy were attached to everything. There were nurses and doctors constantly buzzing around taking blood and checking them constantly.

The procedures were simple in there, babies started out at the furthest end of the unit in intensive care. As they got stronger they would move into a communal area then into their own little room and finally into a flat where the babies and parents would stay for a couple of days before going home. All of these rooms were set out so that the better the babies got the closer to the exit you were. I don’t know if was designed that way on purpose but for me it was a good way to gauge how things were getting on.

Amy

Lilly

My girls were in intensive care which meant that they were constantly monitored. The monitoring machines would go off every now and then with an alarm but the nurses would just come along take a quick look and switch it off again. Talk about how to scare a man. They were very yellow for a while with jaundice because of their under developed liver so they would have lights put on them to help them along and then blood tests would be taken. It was like they were having tanning sessions. They even had shades to protect their eyes.
I knew they were in good hands there but I hated it. No one wants to see their children like this and to see them this way for the first time for me was hell. I kept myself together for the most part and just concentrated on the positive and getting them moving ever closer to the Exit.

Their First Few Days - Back Story - Part 9

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 22:07:00 +0000

Things were moving well. In the first few days there were little accomplishments. Lilly lead the way with Amy very close behind her. They came off CPAP and their jaundice was improving enough that they didn’t need any more tanning sessions. A few days into April and I came to the hospital to find my girls had been moved into the communal area. They had about 30 layers of baby clothing on and they were down 2 wires and 1 tube. One in their nose for feeding, on their skin to monitor their body temperature and one so that if their breathing stopped and alarm would go off. Believe me this was an improvement.

A couple of days after that I finally got to meet my girls in person and hold them for the first time. It was a bit scary as they were handed over to me but looking passed their poor bruised faces and into their eyes the scariness passed and I was euphoric. What they saw was probably just a big blurry shape moving around in front of them but I like to think it was a meeting of minds.

A few days after this, the girls were improving enough to have their own little room. This wasn’t much just a box room just big enough to fit two cots, two chairs and a sink in but at least now we had some privacy.

(From Left to Right) Lilly & Amy

The Uber Breast Pump - Back Story - Part 10

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:07:00 +0000

Okay, so I thought I would have a little post on this subject. I know it’s quite a personal thing for mums and all but I promise I will be tactful.

So while we were at the hospital, Emma would go off into a comfortable room and pump out some good wholesome milk. As the girls were still feeding through a tube at this time it was good to stock up on the stuff as much as possible. The hospital had a machine that Emma borrowed to do the deed.

When I have been shopping for baby things in the past I have seen these breast pumps on the shelves. They are usually small hand held units, maybe battery powered and discreet enough to carry around in a handbag.

The contraption at the hospital was neither of these things. It was the size of a small truck, weighed a ton, ran off a kettle electric plug and from what I could tell, the pumping action was made by a large piston that I could see through the clear dome. This thing looked like it had come out of the industrial revolution. I have scowled the net and I have come across this black and white picture of a slightly newer version of what Emma was using.

Although it looked like it was steam powered and should have sounded like a small locomotive, it was very quiet and believe me when I say it was powerful enough to do a double whammy at the same time with no problem. Having witnessed this a few times, I am glad this is just a women thing but I was there 100% with words of encouragement and pep !

Our Routine - Back Story - Part 11

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 06:39:00 +0000

For the next couple of weeks, we got into a routine. Emma would come and see them twice a day and I would come to the hospital straight from work and spend an hour or so with them. While we were there, the nurses would encourage us to do everything like feed them (which was through a tube in the nose) and change their nappies etc. The feeding was alright I guess but the changing nappies for me was hard.

Now yes I am a man and changing nappies when we first have to is like solving some hard puzzle. The other thing though is that they were just skin and bone and I didn’t want to hurt them. After a while though I did get used to doing it. One day though I almost got put off for life while changing a nappy.

I think it may have been Amy but I had just taken the nappy off and bam, a projectile poo came out and from what I recall, ricocheted off the end of the cot and then landed about a meter away. I jumped out of the way with a not so manly scream. That’s another one of those things that you don’t find in the good parenting books.

Things were going really well and we started talking about going into the apartment to do a couple of days on our own. Unfortunately thing were about to take a turn for the worst for one of my girls.

Back to the Beginning - Back Story - Part 12

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 18:36:00 +0000

It was the beginning of week 4 and in the morning Emma called me at work to say that Amy had quite a bad night, she has been sick a few times and she was quite dehydrated and the doctors had decided to put her back in intensive care for the time being. Emma was told that it was just a precaution and that I shouldn’t worry too much.

After about half an hour of it weighing on my mind I left work and went straight to the hospital. At this point all of the negative emotions that I had about the whole thing had started to take hold and my thoughts were not in the best place.

I got to the hospital and was buzzed into special care. I found Emma in the small booth that we had. Emma knew me well enough to know that I would not stay away so she wasn’t too shocked to see me. She was with Lilly but where Amy’s small plastic cot should have been was an empty space. This was the first time that my twin girls had been separated since birth. After I said hello to Lilly and held her hand for a couple of minutes, with a slightly heavy heart, Emma and I went to see Amy.

We walked all of the way back to where we had come from the weeks earlier to intensive care. There I saw Amy with a new splint on her arm so that all of the drips and monitoring wires had a place to hold onto. I held her other hand and then completely broke down.

At that point all my feelings from the past 3 weeks that I had been bottling up came out uncontrollably and so I cried for about 15 minutes. I sat in the small lounge area that was reserved for parents and pulled myself together. That was it now, back to the business of getting my twins reunited in the same room and out the door and into our baby prepared house.

We fed Amy a few times throughout the day and through to the evening through the tube in her nose that went to her stomach. It was good news as she kept all of her milk down for the rest of the day. The nurses said that it may have been that the formula milk that they were using to top up with when Emma’s breast milk wasn’t available was to rich and was causing her to bring it back up. She was put onto different milk and the uber breast pump worked overtime.

By the end of the day, we wheeled Amy back into our little booth and the nurses said that she should be okay as long as she had a good couple of nights. After 2 steady days, we were back on track. I was very grateful, relieved and happy.

The Final Hurdles - Back Story - Part 13

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 07:55:00 +0000

After our little scare with Amy, I was convinced that we would be spending at least another couple of weeks in the special care unit but we started hearing rumours that we could be going into one of the apartments towards the end of the week. This was good news but there were a few things that the girls had to achieve to get there. In my man way, I just saw this as just an elimination of tasks I could mentally tick off. If I didn’t feel so geeky about it, I would have a laptop with some sort of spread sheet with graphs and such. I just kept this task sheet in my head.

Most importantly, they needed to be feeding on there own without the milk going in through the tube. The girls had tried with little success to breast feed from Emma and after some thought she decided to go down the bottle route. Emma would still be supplying the mum milk just not straight on tap. Both Amy and Lilly took to this very well and were feeding off the bottle quite well. They also didn’t like having the tubes up their noses and repeatedly pulled them out when they felt like it to the annoyance of the nurses. That was the first task completed.

Because we would be driving them home we needed to bring in the car seats so they could be examined for safety reasons. This was an easy one because we had purchased 2 brand spanking new seats a few weeks back (Tick). The other part of this was that Lilly and Amy needed to sit in the car seats for 30 minutes while on a heart monitor. Because they were quite small they needed to make sure that they were not under any stress while in there for a certain amount of time. I was at work while these time trials were taking place. Emma said that Lilly completed hers on the first go. Amy took 3 tries over the next couple of days to find her car seat legs but it was done and another task completed.

We had to watch a video on how to cope in situations if a baby chokes, it was quite a funky old video but we watched it through, taking note in case there was an exam after (there wasn’t).

One of the nurses showed us how to give them a bath, how to hold them and all that stuff. The nurse bathed Amy and Emma did a great job of bathing Lilly. I stayed back and filmed it for prosperity. I wasn’t ready to do the bath thing. That was another task done.

Thursday came and we were told the news that we were waiting for. We would be going into the apartment on Friday night, Saturday night and all being well, they would be ready to go home on Sunday.

The confirmation that I was a father to 2 small ever hungry, completely demanding, high maintenance babies was about to be given to me like being thrown out of an airplane on my first parachute lesson.

Toddler Destruction

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:04:00 +0000

Most of us know that if a toddler get hold of something they shouldn’t they will undoubtedly destroy it given enough time to do so. The concept of a pop up book to a two year old is not wow, look how the pages of this book come to life in a 3D style. It’s I wonder if the book will look better with all the pop up parts scattered throughout the lounge. I have given up the amount of times I have put the pink plastic door back on the pink plastic school bus.

The story that follows sums up the ability of toddlers to break anything including my house.

My sister got Lilly and Amy a small child size rocking horse for their first birthday. They didn’t really use it much until about six months later when they could actually get on it and rock around. One day I noticed a small rocking horse handle shaped dent in the wall of our bay window in the lounge. It didn’t take a lot of deduction to find out what had gone on. Looking further down the wall I could see a few scrape marks where it had been rocked down to the plaster.

Well I thought, these things happen, I will fix it up in a couple of days when I get chance. The small dent in the wall over that couple of days became a complete obsession to my devil children. They thought it was hilarious when they poked their finger in it making it ever bigger. They found it even funnier when Emma and I would scream at them when they were taking it turns poking their tongues into it. No matter how many times we told them to get away from it they didn’t listen. That was it; I had to fill it before they got through to brick on the other side of the plasterboard.

I got my filler out, some sand paper a hair dryer for quick drying. I would get the vacuum cleaner out after to clear up any mess. For the first five minutes it was impossible as Amy and Lilly were both still trying to get at the hole I was trying to cover up. I could feel myself getting more and more stressed. Emma scooped them both up and took them out into the kitchen to give them tea. Finally I had about half an hour to get this done.

Twenty five minutes later, I had completed my work the hole was filled and was the filler was almost set after about ten minutes sitting there aiming a hair dryer at it. I had even filled in the scrape marks. Pleased with myself after a job well done, I went to get the vacuum cleaner to clear up the small dust pile I had left from sanding. Amy and Lilly came back in and headed for the rocking horse. It was okay though, the hole was gone and they would have forgotten about it by now. Emma went into the kitchen to clear up. I grabbed the vacuum and went back into the lounge.

Okay, everyone picture the scene with me. Both my children kneeling next to bay window, Amy with her hands and face covered in dust and Lilly with a lump of semi set filler on her finger that she had just liberated from the wall. She smiled at me. I spent the next ten minutes cleaning, dusting Amy off and getting Lilly to spit out the filler that she just had to sample. Emma laughed and I complained for quite sometime about I can never do anything without “them” wrecking it. Ill get over it, someday.

There are two morals to this story. Don’t try to perform DIY when your children are present and more importantly, never underestimate the intelligence of your toddlers. They know more than you think.

Toddler Mess

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 07:26:00 +0000

Before

If I had a pound or even a dollar for every piece of plastic block, small figure or cute stuffed animal that I pick up in a day, I would have a few thousand. If my wife was also given the same amount of money, I could retire right now. A bold fact I here you say. One thought that is probably ringing true for every parent of a small child reading this right now.

I shouldn’t be surprised that my lovely children have inherited the messy gene. I myself had it for a long time. The only way I was semi cured from it was constant nagging and complaining and still now I slip from my ways from time to time but a swift hand of marital justice does the trick.

Amy and Lilly are too young to understand about being tidy. They will in time become educated in the ways of tidiness. Put one toy away before getting out the next and so on. For the time being though we can place them in any room in the house and everything that is at their level quickly goes on the floor.

I will leave this post with six mostly mess related facts about toddlers and their possessions. When I say their, in the minds of a toddler everything belongs to them or should do. Even if they get told “no that’s daddies” over and over again, a toddler sees daddy’s things as fair game. I’m sure at least 75% of the below can be related to.

* Give children 30 toys to play with and they will always for the TV Remote control.

* Toddlers will do things to your TV via the remote control you had no idea that it could do and it takes you half an hour to put it right.

* If you have a book case, you only end up using the top two shelves.

* If your living room is the primary play area it is populated at the most with your couch and TV the rest is toys.

* If the above couch has more than a three inch clearance from the floor. 40% of toys will live under there.

* Your prized DVD collection that was once proudly alphabetised is now elsewhere and the farthest point in the house away from your DVD player. (Maybe this one is quite a personal point).

After

Favouritism

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:26:00 +0000

I love my children equally as every good dad should (even if one has been a total nightmare and made your day a living hell). One would think that if you love your children the same way, your child would love both parents the same. But this is grownup logic and not toddler logic.

For the last few months I have had a fan and that is Amy. She would greet me with a smile when ever she saw me and generally hang around like a groupie. Now Lilly would do the same but she didn’t care if mummy would take her to bed or read to her. Amy on the other hand would throw a fit and say “daddy do it”, “daddy do it” until she got her own way. It’s good to be wanted I guess unless you can’t leave the room without where you are going and when you coming back.

Emma was getting a little upset about it all as she was feeling very unwanted. I on the other hand was basking in being popular although being the good dad that I am was giving equal time to Lilly, well when Amy let her near me that is.

A week or so ago, we were sat downstairs, the girls were having their milk just before bed. It was time to put them in their grow bags ready for bed. Then the little voice said “mummy do it”, “mummy do it”. From that second on to now Amy has switched her loyalty and now mummy is queen of all things.

Now I don’t recall dropping Amy on her head at any point and although we have our arguments I can’t pin point when she decided not to be daddies favourite any more. I am fairly sure that Emma has promised her something or slipped her some cash without me knowing. Time will tell J. Lilly still loves me, in an equal to mummy sort of way.

I feel that this may be the start of a very long emotional journey. The women in my life may use these little tricks later on in life to get what they want.

The Art Of Bribery

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:50:00 +0000

My wife Emma gave the idea for this one. She tells me all of the little things that the girls throughout the day. What they did to make her laugh, small accomplishments and of course the terrible two’s driven tantrums.

When I said that I was stuck for something to write as my poor brain is all clogged up with work type things and an unhealthy dose of the man flu. She said why don’t you talk about me bribing them to get them to do stuff? Excellent idea!

As Lilly and Amy are becoming more aware, we as adults can start having conversations that they can, for the most part, understand. Now that we have a dialog open, we can start making deals with them. Well when I say deals I mean bribes really because they learn if they do things that they don’t really want to do then they get something as a reward for doing it.

Amy and Lilly love playing outside in the garden with their new outdoor toys. This for us is a very large bargaining chip so when at tea time Emma is struggling with them not eating she says “eat your tea and then we will go outside and play”. Well what do you know, 2 empty bowls and two happy faces ready to go out. When she went for a walk, to get the girls to sit in the buggy, she said that they could have their Wellington boots on and result, no complaining just happy smiles all round and the girls repeating what colour they were for the whole walk.

So there it is, a form of control that doesn’t mean shouting or ending in tears. Is this just another parenting tip that we have just picked up on? The bribe, deal or kickback?

As I am typing this, I think back to when I was younger and I can think of countless occasions when deals have been struck so that I would get things done. I can also remember a point when I started to make the terms and conditions of the deal. I will clean my room if you give me some money for example. So I'm sure when my girls get older they will try and open negotiations to get more.

So my loyal readers (I know there is one out there), I have questions:

Do you use bribery to get your kids to do stuff?
What is the biggest thing you have promised in return for something to get done?
Have they come back with an even bigger counter offer?

Let me know your thoughts and experiences….

Me Me Me

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:44:00 +0000

So what’s this post about I hear you cry. Well I'm bored, no wonderful ideas leap into my head at this point so I will take a quick break away from my wife (who is in the bath) and children (who I can here snoring on the monitor as I type) to give you 10 things you never really wanted to know about ME.

1. I am about 60% Geek.
Emma would say more 80% but I know my place in the geek world. Computers and me seemed to fit at an early age. On a daily basis, I hear words like stored procedures, binary compatibility, public keys, private keys, virtual machines and so on. To keep my geekness down, when I get home I don’t talk about my day in detail as when I do Emma has that glazed look about her and Amy & Lilly just wouldn’t want to know.

2. I hated school as a child.
To the annoyance of my mum mostly, I would hide all over the house in the morning so that she couldn’t find me in the hope she would forget that I had to go to school. It never worked. I pretty much flunked all my exams (except engineering) as a teenager and it took me until I was in the second year of college to realise the mistakes that I had made. From that point on I embraced the inner geek and passed all my college courses.

3. I have five tattoos around my body.
When I was nineteen I decided to get inked for the first time (an anti geek thing to do) so I went to town with my best mate, found a dodgy tattoo place, picked a design off the wall and embraced the pain. I have collected them every now and then ever since. My latest was about 5 years on my leg, I designed it myself.

4. I am a movie buff through and through
I get excited about movies coming out. I have a nice collection of DVDs. Being in the geek class, I do enjoy the odd sci-fi movie but I embrace most genres. The worst movie I ever saw was Miami Vice.

5. I am a Buffy fan.
Yes I am a thirty two year old man with 2 children and I am a fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Emma is too and we have on more than one occasion, watched the complete series. Emma has a crush on Angel and he is on her top 5. (My number one is Kate Beckinsale)

6. My best friend (in number 4) Died over eleven years ago.
I can’t say that I have ever fully gotten over the fact that he died. I have dreams to this day that we are hanging out, he is always quiet and always when it’s nearly time to wake up, he walks away. He never stays. I'm sure there is a physiological explanation for that one. I miss him but I have only visited his grave about 3 times. It’s not him there anyway.

7. Emma and I started seeing each other when we were nineteen.
We spent five years at school together and never talked once. One of my friends bet me that she wouldn’t dance with me in a night club, she did. Who could resist. We got married ten years ago this July.

8. I was so drunk once, I went green.
I was seventeen and it was my first college disco. I drank half a bottle of tequila and spent the night in the night club toilets. I woke up in the morning without a hangover (that wouldn’t happen these days).

9. I used to be a skateboarder
Another non geek thing. Yes, I wore the baggy stuff and hung around in my teens in hoodies. I gave it up, well because I was rubbish at it and spent a lot of time on the floor.

10. I have a huge collection of Star Wars toys in my garage.
Well I had to end with a geeky one because you have to embrace it. Thanks to my inner geek, I am where I am today and although I considered myself a cool geek (well when I was younger) I am a geek, I embrace it. It’s the new black.

So there you go, whoever wants to read this will get a small insight about me. I'm sure that you all feel better knowing these facts. No doubt I will get thousands of questions and comments now as I have opened the floodgates. Then again, probably not!

Two Contrasting Days – Part Two

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 06:52:00 +0000

Tuesday – One Of The Best Days Ever

I woke up, had a shower and made my way down stairs. Emma has done the milk this morning so that was a bonus. Amy and Lilly were just finishing off their breakfast. Coco pops. As I came down to the bottom of the stairs I could hear them both saying “daddy’s coming”. Things like that give me a happy glow. As they both saw me, I was presented with a pair of chocolate smiles. I helped them finish of the rest of their cereal. They both ate the lot and they finished their yoghurts off with very little mess. We went into the lounge to play.

We played with the microphone that we got them for their birthday and we sat and built things with their blocks. We all shared the blocks and there was no arguing. We all read for a while and then sat on the couch and watched an episode of Pingu, I had no idea what was going on but the girls laughed so they must have been in on the joke.

Emma sat with them at their table while they did some colouring with crayons. We always ask what colours they want and from Amy it’s always purple without fail. She will use other colours but she will never let go of the purple one. Lilly usually has blue; she has a thing about blue at the minute. As you can imagine, the colouring books all have blue clowns or purple beach balls or blue rabbits (you get the idea). Never the less it was a peaceful session. I coloured in a robot with as many colours as I could get (except blue and purple) to get a bit of brightness into the book. It was time for a nap, this is usually quite a hard time because once they have their crayons they seldom want to give them up. Today wasn’t too bad; we did the decoy thing and distracted them with juice.

We woke them up after their nap and gave them dinner. They ate nearly everything on their plates and even had a full slice of Emma’s well made birthday cake. At this point, I went up stairs and had a quick search around to make sure that our children hadn’t been replaced at some point during the early hours of that morning as they had woken up completely different from yesterday.

After dinner we drove to an indoor soft adventure play area as we had free entry because they had gotten into the local paper for their birthday. This was my first time in one of these places with them and Emma hadn’t been for a long time. We put them into the toddlers part and let them get on with it. They started climbing and having a good time. We happily watched them and from time to time rescued them when they climbed up a steep slope but had no idea how to get down. There was an area where there were rabbits and we could all sit in while they sniffed around. Both Lilly and Amy sat on our knees and were as good as gold. We left without any drama and didn’t have to man handle them out of the ball pool.

We went for a drive around for about an hour. They both had their hats on in the car. Amy with her trendy purple hat and Lilly with her Bob The Builder hard hat. They both amused themselves all the time and it was a peaceful drive.

After tea we played outside in the garden. I had somehow managed to squeeze myself into the pink Wendy house (the things I do) which all the girls including Emma found funny. We had a pretend tea party. They came inside without a scream or tear. They had their milk and went to bed. What a great day we all had.

Its days like this that you are happy to have children…..

Two Contrasting Days – Part One

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 06:40:00 +0000

Monday – One Of The Worst Days Ever

I had 2 days off this week. The day started out okay as the routine goes. We got the girls dressed without much drama and went down stairs. Emma had a bath while we all had cheerios for breakfast. This is where things went down hill a bit.

The introduction of cereal and milk was a good idea at the time but now Lilly refused to eat many of the rings and just wants the sweet milk but she can’t quite get the hang of the getting the milk to the mouth with her spoon without spilling it so she gets mad. So I start feeding her the milk to keep her happy while stuffing rings into Amy’s mouth to keep her eating. Then Lilly throws a complete stress because I accidentally get 1 lousy ring on her spoon. That’s it, no more cheerios today. I give them yoghurt with a choice of colour spoon, all is quiet, I wash the dishes. I look over to Amy to see she has totally done away with the spoon and started shovelling pink yoghurt into her mouth. I get the wipes and clean her up quick. Emma would kill me if they got food in their hair right at the start of the day.

Stress Level 3

Breakfast over and they go into the lounge to play while I finish the dishes and clean up. By the time I have finished and go into the lounge I get a wiff of the now all too common smell of ripeness. I check them both and it was a double poo. I listen upstairs to see if Emma had come out of the bath. No such luck. I can’t even share the load. I march my smelly twin girls up to change their rotten nappies.

Stress Level 3.5

Back in the lounge and we play for a while with all the new toys. Emma and I have them on our knee on the sofa reading books. Amy then decides to crack Lilly over the head with her new book, making her scream the house down. Amy’s very first time out was called. I sat her on a chair for 2 minutes. She cried all the way through it but she didn’t move. She said sorry to Lilly and they went for a nap.

Stress Level 5

Dinner was a disaster. Most of what Emma had prepared for them came back on the plate just as if someone has played tennis with it all for 5 minutes then picked it all up. They had half a banana and about half of a slice of their birthday cake. No more yogurts in the house but we found a substitute. Not too impressed but they ate it.

Stress Level 4

We left all the mess, put the girls in the car and went off to the seaside to take advantage of the good weather. This is about an hours drive or so. Half an hour in and they both start wanting different things from the side compartment where we keep all the car toys. Emma accommodates with every request to keep them happy as I drive. 45 minutes in and Amy decides to take her new trendy purple hat off she got for her birthday and wanted me and only me to put it back on. Emma tried to explain that I was driving but that fell on deaf ears “daddy do it”, “daddy do it” Lilly joined in as she was now bored of being strapped into a car seat. The last 15 minutes was hell.

Stress Level 6.5

We got to our destination. It started to rain. Amy and Lilly wanted to walk and both strongly objected to being man handled into the buggy. We walked around for a while and noticed that all the shops and market stalls were closing, cries and high pitch screaming in my ear, we go into an open shop get out of the rain.

Stress Level 8

We got back into the car after being there about 45 minutes and drove to a supermarket to the café to give the girls their tea. No buggy this time we let them walk into the supermarket. For some reason Lilly objected to going into the supermarket and decided to lay horizontal in the door way not caring about on coming trolleys. I was that parent who got stared at for not controlling their children. Lilly refused to eat her favourite orange pasta that was given to her and screamed every time I tried to feed her.

Stress Level 20 BOOM!!!!

I switched off, stared out of the window of the café and waited for my face to go back to a normal colour as Emma finished off tea duties. After my mental reboot, we got home, gave them their milk and put them to bed. We both gave a joint sigh of relief as we collapsed onto the couch.

It’s days like this you wonder why you decided to have children…….

Lilly & Amy’s Second Birthday In Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:01:00 +0000

In The Morning - Behold the pink plastic

I set out the outside play stuff ready for them to play - It was all a big hit

Back inside and we opened and tried out all the presents

I, I mean we built a tower out of all the blocks
.

It was taller than Amy

. They had their card read out on CBEEBIES that Emma sent in

The Cakes - Emma slaved over a hot stove to cook these birthday creations

The Party (I only had a couple of beers) – They Got Lots Of Cards

There was face Painting – Thanks Tara

Amy

Lilly

Max (Nephew)

Alice (Friends daughter, thanks for coming Helen)

We got the girls in from outside long enough to sing happy birthday - Emma was quite emotional

When it was time to go inside, Lilly has a total melt down for about an hour but they both slept straight away at bed time (phew again).

A great day and I think everyone had a good time. The food was good there was plenty to drink (I still have a small bar’s worth of alcohol in my garage and Emma is slowly getting through the wine as I type this). There were people I spoke to that I hadn’t seen for years and years but there were also people that couldn’t make it. It was good to see family and friends have a good time. Same time next year? I will leave that as an open question until the stress of this one gets forgotten.

PS – I would have taken a picture of the triffle but it was gone so quickly, I didn’t have chance :)

Your One Sentence Answers

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 09:30:00 +0000

As part of the pre birthday run up, I asked you to email me an answer to this question.

“If you had to summarise your experience of being a parent so far into one sentence, what would it be”

Thanks to everyone that emailed me and commented with your answers. There are some funny, sensible and inspiring ones.

Everyone who answered my call have great blogs themselves so please take time to visit them as well.

So here you are I started :)

Name: Michael
Blog Name: My Wife And Twins

"It’s been emotional, it’s been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs, cries and laughs, it has made me grow up and be the man I am now, I love being a husband and a parent."

Name: Ruthie
Blog Name(s): My Mama Drama and Got Multiples?

"My experience of being a parent has been and continues to be very rewarding, and having preemie twins has shown me that even though life can throw you a few "curve balls", you can always overcome the obstacles, which in turn makes you stronger and a better parent."

Name: Mrs. Mecomber
Blog Name: New York Traveler.net

"To be a parent means you discover that the world does not revolve around you."

Name: Linda Jones
Blog Name: You've Got Your Hands Full

"Being a parent of twin girls has made me laugh more than I ever knew possible."

Name: Jared
Blog Name: DadThing.com

"One year full of enjoyable chaos."

Name: BusyDad (or Jim)
Blog Name: The Busy Dad Blog

“As Seen on TV”? psshaw!!

Name: FeeFiFoto
Blog Name: FeeFiFoto Blog

"Being a parent is The. Most. Mundane. thing you or anyone else around the world will ever do; yet even when your kids are old enough to talk back it's simply the most fundamentally special, rewarding and precious experience you'll ever have."

Name: Lance
Blog Name: Dad2Twins

"ENTERTAINING!"

Name: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah
Blog Name: Sarah and the Goon Squad

"Parenting is the is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer."

Name: Mishelle
Blog: Secret Agent Mama

"Parenting is definitely a challenge and there are no cookie cutter children, so it's a task to mesh with all of the different personalities that we have in our family. However challenging, though, it's rewarding to the highest degree!"

Name: Saph
Blog: Walk with Me

"So utterly frustrating, and tiring at times, but yet so wonderous, and amazing to watch your baby grow."

The Ingredients To A Successful Birthday Party

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:59:00 +0000

Preparations have been going on for a couple of months in the form of lists. But with less than a week to go until Lilly and Amy’s second birthday, nearly everything is in place for a memorable party. As always, Emma is the project manager in these affairs. I take the orders and get the jobs done that need to be completed. This is how it should be, I find that things go a lot smoother and I get a lot less stressed.

So, we are going for the birthday and party on the same day, as their birthday is on a Sunday, we though it would be a good idea. I class myself as a semi people person in that I will make the effort to interact with people that I don’t know that well but I can honestly say I feel quite nervous about this one. Granted, it was my idea to invite loads of people but I seldom think things through to the end.

The key to a birthday / party is to keep everyone happy and to do this you need a sprinkling of ingredients:

The presents

The most important people to keep happy of course are my darling daughters. We have gone for a mix of in and out door fun this year as well some educational stuff as well. In the picture we have all the indoor stuff. In no particular order:

A microphone with disco lights – I have tested it, it is quite loud.
A large aquadraw set – The small ones went down well.
Magic colouring books – the pens are different colours but will only write in the books (no wall art).
A Vacuum Cleaner – They like watching daddy do it (yes I do the vacuuming, it’s my domestic job).
Loads of building blocks – I like, I mean they like building things.
Loads of books – They are into reading now.
A shopping trolley – Girly stuff.
A skittle set – we like playing those games, they just need to learn how to set them up for me.
In the night garden cutlery set – they are obsessed with both these things.
Bob the builder hard hats – They like Bob, plus will come in handy if ever I need DIY labourers.
Loads and loads and loads of clothes – Emma is obsessed.

Outside in the garden there will be an assortment of bright pink plastic (I didn’t have much say in that), a playhouse, a swing and a slide.

Food and drink

To keep the guests happy. We have gone for the traditional buffet food as this can be done before hand and wrapped up ready to be presented at the right time. There will be sandwiches, sausages on sticks, pineapple and cheese on sticks, sausage rolls (you get the idea). Emma is doing a mammoth baking session on Friday for the sweet stuff including the birthday cake. Emma’s mum is coming that day to help out and I will be well out of the way. It is my job to make the trifle, this usually comes out of a packet but last time I managed to fluff this up and the custard was very sloppy. I am determined to make the best trifle this time. My sisters trifle never fails, I'm on a mission.

We have a selection of drinks to keep everyone happy. Beer, wine and soft drinks are all in the mix. I will be having a beer or two to keep my stamina up.

The guests

We have invited quite a few people plus their children. This is where my nerves kick in again as there will be family members who don’t get on that well, an ex boyfriend and girlfriend and lots of screaming kids. Plus will they all turn up? If they do where will they all park? How do you keep them all happy? I think I’ll have another beer.

The children

To keep them happy there will be fun and games with prizes to be won, pass the parcel etc. To end the day they will go home with a goodie bag with sweets in to keep them going well into the night, hehe.

So there you go. All the ingredients are there we just need to mix them up and see how it all comes together. To be honest as long as all my girls are happy I will be happy.

To be continued …..

Just A Reminder

noreply@blogger.com (Michael) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 20:57:00 +0000

This is the last couple of days for you to email me on the Calling All Parents thing that I have been running. I have got some good quotes from you out there but more will be welcomed. I will post the results on Friday. Thanks.