My Words are Flat and Harsh

movie meme

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 07:12:00 +0000

Hey, memes are fun. Take the top 100 grossing movies: italicize the ones you've seen. Here’s my list:

1. Titanic (1997) - $600,779,824
2. Star Wars (1977) - $460,935,665
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) - $434,949,459
4. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) - $431,065,444
5. Spider-Man (2002) - $403,706,375
6. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) - $377,019,252
7. Passion of the Christ, The (2004) - $370,025,697
8. Jurassic Park (1993) - $356,784,000
9. Shrek 2 (2004) - $356,211,000
10. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) - $340,478,898
11. Finding Nemo (2003) - $339,714,367
12. Forrest Gump (1994) - $329,691,196
13. Lion King, The (1994) - $328,423,001
14. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001) - $317,557,891
15. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) - $313,837,577
16. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) - $310,675,583
17. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) - $309,125,409
18. Independence Day (1996) - $306,124,059
19. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) - $305,411,224
20. Sixth Sense, The (1999) - $293,501,675
21. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - $290,158,751
22. Home Alone (1990) - $285,761,243
23. Matrix Reloaded, The (2003) - $281,492,479
24. Shrek (2001) - $267,652,016
25. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) - $261,970,615
26. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - $260,031,035
27. Jaws (1975) - $260,000,000
28. Monsters, Inc. (2001) - $255,870,172
29. Batman (1989) - $251,188,924
30. Men in Black (1997) - $250,147,615
31. Toy Story 2 (1999) - $245,823,397
32. Bruce Almighty (2003) - $242,589,580
33. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) - $242,374,454
34. Twister (1996) - $241,700,000
35. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) - $241,437,427
36. Ghost Busters (1984) - $238,600,000
37. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) - $234,760,500
38. Cast Away (2000) - $233,630,478
39. Lost World: Jurassic Park, The (1997) - $229,074,524
40. Signs (2002) - $227,965,690
41. Rush Hour 2 (2001) - $226,138,454
42. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) - $219,200,000
43. Ghost (1990) - $217,631,306
44. Aladdin (1992) - $217,350,219
45. Saving Private Ryan (1998) - $216,119,491
46. Mission: Impossible II (2000) - $215,397,30
47. X2 (2003) - $214,948,780
48. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) - $213,079,163
49. Back to the Future (1985) - $210,609,762
50. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) - $205,399,422
51. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - $204,843,350
52. Exorcist, The (1973) - $204,565,000
53. Mummy Returns, The (2001) - $202,007,640
54. Armageddon (1998) - $201,573,391
55. Gone with the Wind (1939) - $198,655,278
56. Pearl Harbor (2001) - $198,539,855
57. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) - $197,171,806
58. Toy Story (1995) - $191,800,000
59. Men in Black II (2002) - $190,418,803
60. Gladiator (2000) - $187,670,866
61. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) - $184,925,485
62. Dances with Wolves (1990) - $184,208,848
63. Batman Forever (1995) - $184,031,112
64. Fugitive, The (1993) - $183,875,760
65. Ocean’s Eleven (2001) - $183,405,771
66. What Women Want (2000) - $182,805,123
67. Perfect Storm, The (2000) - $182,618,434
68. Liar Liar (1997) - $181,395,380
69. Grease (1978) - $181,360,000
70. Jurassic Park III (2001) - $181,166,115
71. Mission: Impossible (1996) - $180,965,237
72. Planet of the Apes (2001) - $180,011,740
73. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) - $179,870,271
74. Pretty Woman (1990) - $178,406,268
75. Tootsie (1982) - $177,200,000
76. Top Gun (1986) - $176,781,728
77. There’s Something About Mary (1998) - $176,483,808
78. Ice Age (2002) - $176,387,405
79. Crocodile Dundee (1986) - $174,635,000
80. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) - $173,585,516
81. Elf (2003) - $173,381,405
82. Air Force One (1997) - $172,888,056
83. Rain Man (1988) - $172,825,435
84. Apollo 13 (1995) - $172,071,312
85. Matrix, The (1999) - $171,383,253
86. Beauty and the Beast (1991) - $171,301,428
87. Tarzan (1999) - $171,085,177
88. Beautiful Mind, A (2001) - $170,708,996
89. Chicago (2002) - $170,684,505
90. Three Men and a Baby (1987) - $167,780,960
91. Meet the Parents (2000) - $166,225,040
92. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) - $165,500,000
93. Hannibal (2001) - $165,091,464
94. Catch Me If You Can (2002) - $164,435,221
95. Big Daddy (1999) - $163,479,795
96. Sound of Music, The (1965) - $163,214,286
97. Batman Returns (1992) - $162,831,698
98. Bug’s Life, A (1998) - $162,792,677
99. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - $161,963,000
100. Waterboy, The (1998) - $161,487,252

another book meme =)

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:22:00 +0000

99 Books Meme

Here’s a list of 100 books that I may or may not have read (or even desire to read). The rules are as follows;

- Bold the ones you’ve read
- Italicize the ones you want to read
- Leave unaltered the ones that you aren’t interested in or haven’t heard of

And away we go…

1. The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (JRR Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (JRR Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (JRR Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (JK Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (JK Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (JK Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (JK Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (George Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (F Scott Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (JK Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Leo Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
68. Les Miserables (Victor Hugo)
69. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
70. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
71. Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
72. Shogun (James Clavell)
73. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
74. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
75. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
76. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
77. The World According to Garp (John Irving)
78. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
79. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
80. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
81. Of Mice And Men (John Steinbeck)
82. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
83. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
84. Emma (Jane Austen)
85. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
86. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
87. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
88. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
89. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
90. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
91. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
92. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
93. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
94. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
95. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
96. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
97. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
98. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
99. Ulysses (James Joyce)

bookworm edition

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:26:00 +0000

1) What book are you reading right now?

Success: The Best of Napoleon Hill, by Napoleon Hill.

2) What is the fourth sentence on page 133 of that book?

Energy cannot be organized without the habit of concentration of all the faculties on one thing at a time.

3) What is one book that changed your life?

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Made me a think twice before saying/doing something. :D

4) What is one book that you read again and again?

To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

5) What three books would you want on a desert island?

a) To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
b) The complete Harry Potter Series, by J. K Rowling
c) Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen

6) What is the funniest book you've ever read?

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel by Scott Adams; Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

7) What book made you cry the most?

Hmmmm, A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks

8) What book do you wish had been written?

Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt.

9) What would be the title of your autobiography?

Why do you have to negate everything?

10) What book do you keep meaning to read?

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie and Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller

11) What five books should everyone be required to read?

1) To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
2) Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
3) How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie
4) The Street Lawyer, John Grisham
5) Catcher in the Rye, J.D Salinger

12) What book was the biggest waste of your time?

I can't remember the book title and author. It's about this agent who saved the Prince Charles and Princess D's lives. Arrrghhh.. Can't even remember the entire plot.

(I think the book was authored by either Tom Clancy or Robert Ludlum)

13) What was your favorite book as a child?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, by Roald Dahl. I loved it so much, in fact, that I pocketed my cousin's copy, and I still have it.

14) What book have you read the most?

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

15) Is there any book's ending that you would like to rewrite? What would you change about the original ending?

Would change and have changed. Harry Potter should not have married Ginny Weasley. For me, she's just and always be a swooning Harry Potter fan.

two movies...

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 07:53:00 +0000

I am a movie whore! I'm willing to trade my precious hours of sleep for movies. I have even degraded myself by watching films in pirated DVDs and in those crappy online video streaming sites.

Warning: Gut-wrenching drama is waiting for you after this sentence

But things changed. To avoid being redundant, let's just say that everything in my life took a 360 degree turn.

This is where the drama ends.

Anyway, all I wanted to say is that I don't have the time to watch 14 movies in a week anymore! I have watched Boondock Saints and Reservoir Dogs this October. That's only two movies in one month! How pitiful is that?

Reader: Crap, I just don't get the point of this post. Why did I even bother to read this?

Ode to a Beautiful Nude

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 03:57:00 +0000

Ode to a Beautiful Nude
pablo neruda

With a chaste heart
With pure eyes
I celebrate your beauty
Holding the leash of blood
So that it might leap out and trace your outline
Where you lie down in my Ode
As in a land of forests or in surf
In aromatic loam, or in sea music

Beautiful nude
Equally beautiful your feet
Arched by primeval tap of wind or sound
Your ears, small shells
Of the splendid American sea
Your breasts of level plentitude
Fulfilled by living light
Your flying eyelids of wheat
Revealing or enclosing
The two deep countries of your eyes

The line your shoulders have divided into pale regions
Loses itself and blends into the compact halves of an apple
Continues separating your beauty down into two columns of
Burnished gold
Fine alabaster
To sink into the two grapes of your feet
Where your twin symmetrical tree burns again and rises
Flowering fire
Open chandelier
A swelling fruit
Over the pact of sea and earth

From what materials
Agate?
Quartz?
Wheat?
Did your body come together?
Swelling like baking bread to signal silvered hills
The cleavage of one petal
Sweet fruits of a deep velvet
Until alone remained
Astonished
The fine and firm feminine form

It is not only light that falls over the world spreading inside your body
Yet suffocate itself
So much is clarity
Taking its leave of you
As if you were on fire within

The moon lives in the lining of your skin

Listen to Rufus Sewell's reading of this poem.

Boston Legal

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 01:42:00 +0000

Lawyers, dry humor, easy sexual bantering, biting sarcasm, eccentric characters, offbeat sensibility, great writing, and gorgeous girls sum up what I like in a show. I'm talking about Boston Legal here. Aside from the reasons I just enumerated, I love the show because of James Spader and William Shatner. Putting the two together in one TV show is one of the most brilliant decisions ever made in the history of TV (this is an according to me statement). Just so you would know what I'm talking about, here's a clip from the caves of Youtube:

And yeah, I have a DVD of the series.

when love and hate collide...

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 09:55:00 +0000

is the title of my first ever abstract painting.

I made this while listening to Rihanna's Umbrella. wehehehehe.

You can make your own too.

According to me : foreign films you should watch...

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 02:41:00 +0000

1. Hero (Chinese)
2. Cinema Paradiso (Italian)
3. City of God (Cicade de Deus)
4. The Tin Drum (German)
5. Magnifico (Tagalog)
6. O Crime do Padre Amaro (Portuguese)
7. Malena (Italian)
8. Amelie (French)
9. Voces Inocentes (Mexican)
10. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (Chinese)
11. Once (Irish)
12. Rashomon (Japanese)
13. Oldboy (Korean)
14. My Sassy Girl (Korean)
15. The King and the Clown (Korean)

Cinema Paradiso

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 02:13:00 +0000

In my search for films that tell a great story with an excellent presentation, I was carried away to "Cinema Paradiso" in Italy by director Giuseppe Tornatore.

Plot:

A boy who grew up in a native Sicilian Village returns home as a famous director after receiving news about the death of an old friend. Told in a flashback, Salvatore reminiscences about his childhood and his relationship with Alfredo, a projectionist at Cinema Paradiso. Under the fatherly influence of Alfredo, Salvatore fell in love with film making, with the duo spending many hours discussing about films and Alfredo painstakingly teaching Salvatore the skills that became a stepping stone for the young boy into the world of film making. The film brings the audience through the changes in cinema and the dying trade of traditional film making, editing and screening. It also explores a young boy's dream of leaving his little town to foray into the world outside.

After 20 minutes of watching the movie I cried (yeah, yeah, I cry at movies). I did not cry because the movie was sad. I cried because it stirred bittersweet memories of my childhood years and the people (and animals) who made it unforgettable.

Hey, before you start rolling your eyes I won't enumerate/share/recollect those memories here.

But I will, in my other blog... nyahahaha

To Kill a Mockingbird Movie Review

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 18:42:00 +0000

I was in a movie- hunting mood again and I stumbled upon a black and white movies goldmine. I was giddy with excitement when I found To Kill a Mockingbird on the list. Talk about sheer luck!

Hmmm... Where do I start? I'm a "complainer" so here goes my annoying complaints:

If there is one person in the world the that I would want to be when I grow up, it would be Atticus Finch. His sense of justice, the fact that he is a lawyer, a great man embarrassed by his greatness, his love for his children, and his way of explaining things endeared him to me. I was disappointed however with his character in the movie. Atticus Finch in the movie was very far from the Atticus Finch I have in mind. I'm not criticizing Gregory Peck's performance here. It's just that whoever wrote the script did not capture the true Atticus Finch...arrrgh...( why is it that I can't explain things clearly?)

Another big disappointment is that I did not saw the personal development I was hoping to see in Scout and Jem. They practically left out that part of the story.

The trial was not what I imagined it to be. Yeah, I know the movie ranked first in AFI's top 10 courtroom dramas but I'm here I am still complaining about it. (forgive me if I'm not making any sense.)

Something to defend the movie:

I'm not saying that the movie is bad. It's just the characters and the story did not meet my expectations. Hayyy, this is what you get when you get to read the book first and watch its adaptation after. This is probably a movie that should have remained on paper.

For forum God...

I still stand firm in my belief that book is always better than its movie adaptation. I have proofs...bleh!

Pulp Dancing

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:14:00 +0000

After hours of combing the internet for the full version of the movie Pulp Fiction, I finally found the almost perfect site where I can watch it. But I won’t tell you where. nyahaha. Anyway, I can’t resist the urge to post this dance scene of Uma Thurman and John Travolta. Makes me want to put on my dancing shoes and do the twist.

of bosses and employers

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:31:00 +0000

These strips from Dilbert remind me where I'm working. :D

Conan O’Brien’s Speech to Stuyvesant High School Class of 2006

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:14:00 +0000

Some may hate this big-mouthed, red-haired, weasel-faced giant but not me. I adore Conan O'brien and his lightning fast wit.
Read this transcript of his speech to the graduating class of Stuyvesant High School and you'll see why I'm a fan.

Alright, yeeaaaah! I said yeeaaaah! Thank you. Thank you graduating seniors, faculty, parents….(several girls shout “we love you Conan!”) I love you too sir. Thank you graduating seniors, faculty, parents, SAT tutors, college placement coaches, jealous siblings, grandparents who have no idea who I am… (applause) “Who is this horrible man?” and people who wandered in accidentally because they have season tickets to Lincoln center.Before I begin, I’d like to thank you for inviting me today. Over the years, I have been asked to give commencement speeches at many prestigious institutions. Just last year, I was offered fifty thousand dollars to speak at a graduation. But I said, “you go to hell, Bronx Science!” (applause) Then they said “sixty thousand!” And I took it but I never showed up! Man, those guys are idiots.

Hang on, grandma. “What’s happening?” I am truly honored to be here today. Of course when I first got the call no one mentioned I’d have to show up at 8:45 in the morning and wear a dress. By the way, true story, I am wearing a ceremonial robe decorated in the colors of my Alma Mater, Harvard University. (applause) But I choose to wear it because it’s the fastest way to let everyone know I’m a pompous, self-important jackass. (applause) I’ll go to Starbucks later, “I’ll have a mocha latte, BUT DON’T STAIN MY ROBE!” By the way, if you’re curious, yes, under this thing I am going commando. (students “woo”-ing) I call it “Conando.” That was dumb.

I’m especially honored because I was told it was the students who wanted me to be here today. It’s very flattering to know I was up there with your other first choices, skateboarder Tony Hawk and Bow Wow. This is a sentimental occasion for me, because I remember my own high school graduation so very well. Just like you, I sat in a large auditorium, daydreaming about experiences yet to come — college, my first job, puberty… thirty eight.

Yes, I’m even reminded of something my dad said to me at my graduation. He put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eye and said, “I’m not your father.” Then he wrapped me in his strong, Samoan arms and said “don’t ever call me.” Yes, graduation is a day you’ll never forget. Many of you have been signing notes in each other’s yearbooks that you will read years from now. Things like “best friends forever” or “keep in touch,” and that’s fine. But you might want to do what I did. I wrote incredibly specific, untrue memories, just to confuse my friends when they look in their yearbooks twenty years from now. Greatest thing I ever did. I wrote things like “I’ll never forget the time you stole those mothballs, you shoe-sniffin’ wild man!” or “keep head butting alligators, señor Cinnamon Shorts!” They call me twenty years later, “what does it mean?!”

Yes, you should cherish this day because this morning is one of the most important experiences of your life. Then, afterwards, it’s off to brunch with your parents. Starts off well, but halfway through they mention dinner plans with your grandparents and aunt Rose who hasn’t seen you in ages. “But I made plans,” you say. “I’m going out with Kirsten and Dylan, there’s a party at Galapagos and JR has rented the VIP room.” “But aunt Rose came all the way from Garden City,” they say. “And who’s this JR?” Suddenly you jump up from the table, “OH MY GOD, IT’S JASON RUBENSTEIN, I TOLD YOU THIS LIKE TWENTY TIMES, I TOLD YOU TWENTY TIMES, YOU DON’T LISTEN!” So enjoy that.

Because this ceremony is so important I have thoroughly compared and researched yours school. According to wikipedia which I visited… (applause) … not five minutes ago on my blackberry, your school is named after Peter Stuyvesant, head of the Dutch West India Trading Company. This explains, by the way, why your teachers are still paid in grain and bags of salt. Stuyvesant, as you know, true story, is not your typical high school. In 1950, this really happened, in 1950, students in Stuyvesant tried to build a particle accelerator. By way of comparison, that’s the same year my public high school discovered fire. (Conan makes a caveman noise) In 1969, girls were admitted to Stuyvesant for the first time (applause). This started a new trend among the boys called showering. You didn’t want to be here pre-1969.

Today Stuyvesant has a remarkably diverse and varied student body, ranging from math geeks to science nerds. Yes, you’re a glorious beautiful rainbow of brainiacs. And that can be very intimidating, let’s face it, most of you are smarter than me. it’s a proven fact that as you get older, your brain shrinks and you get dumber. This is why you have to explain to your parents how a TIVO works and they have to explain to your grandparents how a cat works. Even I’ve gotten a lot dumber, I graduated from Harvard 20 years ago, and I am currently reading at the 6th grade level. If anyone here spoils the ending of Charlotte’s Web, I am so going to freak.

So what can I tell you this morning? What advice can I give you? Well, I’ll tell you what I won’t do — I won’t sprout a lot of meaningless clichés, you know the ones, the trite phrases that pollute most commencement speeches — “reach for the stars,” “follow your dreams,” “keep your eyes on the prize.” No, you guys are too smart for clichés, so I’m going to give you real concrete advice that will get you through the next four years of college.

Number one: most of you are going to competitive schools, so psych-out the competition right away. It’s simple, here’s how you do it — show up at freshman orientation with a copy of Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time and a black magic marker. Sit in the dining hall and start crossing out whole paragraphs of the book while yelling “WRONG, IDIOT!” “TRY AGAIN HAWKING!” “This guy’s an ass!”

Number two: rip out a picture in a magazine of a hot guy or girl and frame it. Tell people its your boy or girlfriend who goes to Ohio-Wesleyan and that your relationship is purely physical. When people ask you why she looks suspiciously like Jessica Alba throw a hot tray in their face and run away.

Three: be warned, everyone has a weird roommate. If you don’t have a weird roommate, then you’re the weird room mate. (applause)

Four: if you want to get out of a test, don’t say you have a family emergency. Everyone says they have a family emergency in college and it never works. Say you have diarrhea. No one ever says they have diarrhea unless they do.

Five — write these down, these work. Five: some of you guys will be tempted to grow a goatee. Do not grow a goatee. A goatee is just a beard with low self esteem. On the same note, some of you girls will be tempted to get a lower back tattoo. I just want to say — that’s totally awesome. (applause, principal shakes his head) My message is a little different than your message. You won’t invite me back.

Number six: people will tell you that your future depends on what major you choose. This is not true. Einstein majored in hotel management. Dick Cheney majored in modern dance, and Britney Spears wrote a thesis on socialist labor relationships in post-glasnost Poland.

Alright, those are silly and a complete waste of time. But believe it or not, I actually do have some real advice for you. I don’t want to freak you guys out, but twenty five years ago, I could have been any one of you. I went to a public high school, and I was a bright, ambitious, hard working kid who wanted more than anything to go to a good college. The only problem is, I was much more interested in succeeding than in really learning. When you’re a smart kid in a competitive school, it’s an easy trap to fall into. So I did a lot of things in high school not because I enjoyed them but because I thought they look good on an application. I think you know what I’m talking about. I was on a debate team — hated it. I ran track — I was terrible, I got so bored running the two mile that I tried to talk with my opponents during the race. “what are you gonna do later, I mean you gonna be doing something later?” I joined school government — hated it. Of course, like many of you I worried obsessively about my GPA and my SAT scores. And of course, it worked. I got into the college of my choice and to this day I’m proud of the work I did in high school.

But old habits die hard. Once I got into college, I had every intention of joylessly grinding away again. I was gonna turn college into just another step on the road to being successful, whatever that meant. I told people my plan was to go to graduate school in law or government, just because I thought that’s what smart people were supposed to do. And then something really weird happened. My roommate — by the way, he was the weird roommate — my roommate was going to an orientation meeting at the Harvard Lampoon, the school humor magazine, and I decided for some reason to tag along. I wrote one piece, then I wrote another piece, then another. Before long, I was running the place. The only difference was, I was joyously happy. I was succeeding at something because I loved the process, not because I was trying to get anywhere. I had found the thing I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and I honestly didn’t care where it took me or what it paid.

So when I graduated form college in 1985 I told my parents “thanks for the amazing Ivy League education, now I want to be a comedian.” Later, in the emergency room after they woke up, they said they were fine with my decision, and I was on my way. I’ve had a lot of highs, I’ve had my share of lows, but if I hadn’t allowed myself to experiment and risk doing something without a clear career payoff, I might have missed out on so much. I never would have written for Saturday night live. I wouldn’t have preformed in stage in Chicago in a diaper in 1988. I never would have spent hours crafting the Homer Simpson line, “the bee bit my bottom and now my bottom is big.” I never would have jumped out of a window in the South Park movie. I never would have danced with the masturbating bear or been pooped on by Triumph the insult Comic Dog. I never would have swam naked in Arctic water with the Finnish Ministry of Defense. Yes, it’s been a wasted life. But I honestly believe that I found the best use for Conan O’ Brien. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked extremely hard at being an ass, and yes I’ve made some sweet, sweet coin. I do very well. (applause)

What I’m asking you to consider is that the next four years don’t have to be just a stepping stone. You are very bright, impressive young people. But for the last four years, your GPA has been calculated to two decimal points and you’ve pushed yourselves very hard. Many of you have succeeded because you have stuck to a very rigid and linear path and that is fine, that’s fine, all I’m asking you to do in college is to take a moment every now and then, breathe, look around you. If something intrigues you, take a small chance. You might just find your entire life you’ve been planning on. It could be bio-physics, it could be medicine, could be puppetry, could be ultimate fighting, beekeeping, government, or whatever the hell it is Ryan Seacrest does. Don’t really know what that is.

The point is, at this moment, many of you have ideas of what you want to do with your life, but for many of you those ideas will change. And that’s because you think you know who you are right now, but you really don’t. Trust me, when I look back at 18 year old Conan it’s a ridiculous sight — six feet four inches of pale skin and bone, scared of girls, squeaky voice — I’m sorry, that’s 43 year old Conan. But life and the choices I made have changed me in a thousand ways. None of it would have happened if I had rigidly kept my eyes on the prize and decided with great determination to follow my dream, because I didn’t have the slightest idea what my dream was when I was 18. It had to find me. So enjoy the next phase of your life, make sure you enjoy today as well. You’ve all achieved something pretty remarkable today and you should be infinitely proud.

Before I go, let me leave you with one last message. Tonight, many of you will party — it could get pretty rockin’. All I ask is that you remember to stop for a moment, take out your cell phone, and invite me along. My home number is 212-664-3737, seriously, I have no plans. Thank you and congratulations.

Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines - Pablo Neruda

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:09:00 +0000

"Tonight I Can Write" tugged my heart the first time I read it. (emo..nyahaha) It speaks about memories of a lost love and the pain they can cause.

Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines
Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, ‘The night is shattered,
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, and sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes?

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her,
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
That night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that is certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes,

I no longer love her, that is certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer,
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Angela's Ashes

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:28:00 +0000

“Worse than the ordinary miserable childhood is the miserable Irish childhood. “Worse yet is the miserable Irish Catholic childhood.”

These lines basically sum up what’s to read in Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes. The author recounts his desperately poor early years, living on public assistance and losing three siblings, wearing shoes repaired with tires, begging a pig’s head for Christmas dinner, and searching the pubs for his father who is drinking away the family’s dinner.

Without the humor, the book would have been a very difficult read for me. Just when you thought the family's situation couldn't any uglier, a new problem arises. I almost put down the book in despair after reading just about twenty pages of it. But I’m glad that I didn’t.

time to move my cheese

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:25:00 +0000

I'm not really into self-help books. As a matter of fact, I despise self-help books. So when a friend lent me he copy of Spencer Johnson's Who Moved My Cheese, I was prepared to ignore it. What made me read the book were the picture of a cheese in the cover and the word cheese itself.

The book came as a pleasant surprise. I actually liked it. Realizations about my job hit me right in the face while I was reading it. In two months time, I'm doing something that I should have done a year ago. Time for me to look for Cheese Station N.

For those of you who don't have time to read, here's a video version of Who Moved My Cheese.

Part 1

Part 2

Make Money in Blogging

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:37:00 +0000

Some of the ways to make money from your blogs

Second-tier Democrats try to gain traction

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 21:25:00 +0000

MANCHESTER, New Hampshire (Reuters) - When you are a candidate for the 2008 presidential race only drawing about 2 percent support in opinion polls, you have to keep telling yourself that the race is still wide open and there is plenty of time to catch up.

That is the position in which Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware, a veteran foreign policy heavyweight, finds himself, along with his fellow Democrats New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich , Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd and former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel.

All of them are hanging on for dear life to their campaigns, struggling for traction against the party's front-runners -- New York Sen. Hillary Clinton Illinois Sen. Barack Obama and former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards.

Some people say it is lonely at the top. Well, what about the bottom?

"Folks, I know it's hard and it requires some patience. This thing is wide open," said Biden, who made some forceful comments on Iraq, Iran and Sudan on Sunday at a debate among the Democratic White House contenders.

What about his 2 percent situation? "Our feeling is that as long as Iraq is the number one problem, whether it's New Hampshire or Iowa, we still have a major entree," said Biden's pollster, Celinda Lake.

There were no knockout punches in the debate, but each candidate's strategy was apparent. Clinton, as leader of the pack in the polls and in campaign financing, played it safe, talking of the need for a unified party on Iraq and directing fire at President George W. Bush.

Read full story here.

Clinton asks YouTube users for song help

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Mon, 28 May 2007 14:30:00 +0000

Hillary Clinton wants YouTube viewers to pick her campaign theme song — and the response, so far, has been music to her ears.

In a clear appeal to young voters, a YouTube video asks viewers to vote for Clinton's presidential campaign theme song on her Web site. The contest started May 16 and the number of songs was narrowed to 10 on Thursday — five initially suggested by the campaign and five write-in candidates.

They range from U2's "Beautiful Day" to Smash Mouth's version of "I'm a Believer" to Celine Dion's "You and I."

"I want to know what you're thinking on one of the most important questions of this campaign," Clinton said in a mock-serious tone during the initial video. "It's something we've been struggling with, debating, agonizing over for months. So now I'm turning to you, the American people."

According to the view counter on YouTube, the May 16 video had more than 500,000 views; a more recent post was seen by more than 40,000. Her campaign said it received more than 130,000 votes in the first round. It promises to release the final result "in the coming days."

In both videos Clinton sports a self-effacing attitude. She mocked her vocal abilities in the first post. The second features clips of people saying, "This is ridiculous" and "Are you freaking kidding me?" in response to the contest, along with Clinton making fun of some of the videos submitted.

"A little self-effacement in her recipe of self-presentation is probably a good idea," Robert Thompson, professor of television and popular culture at Syracuse University, said. "There is a certain sense of over-calculation."

Thompson said the request for help selecting a theme song is not unusual for Clinton, who preceded her 2000 run for the Senate with a "listening tour." This is just taking that concept and putting it online, he added.

"I'd rather have a candidate ask me what I think about major issues," Thompson said. "The way it's being used is: Let's have you guys come and tell me what's the best way to package myself to sell myself to you."

He described the technique as having "a slight ickyness to it."

But Kathleen Hall Jamieson, who directs the Annenberg Public Policy Center at the University of Pennsylvania, said any way candidates can engage potential voters, especially young people, at this stage is good.

"If they don't know who you who you are, they're not going to go out and vote for you," she said.

The five suggested songs that got the most votes:

_"Suddenly I See," KT Tunstall

_"Rock This Country!" Shania Twain

_"Beautiful Day," U2

_"Get Ready," The Temptations

_"I'm a Believer," Smash Mouth

The top write-in suggestions are:

_"Are You Gonna Go My Way," Lenny Kravitz

_"Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now," McFadden & Whitehead

_"Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic," The Police

_"You and I," Celine Dion

_"The Best," Tina Turner

Giuliani, Edwards report income

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Thu, 17 May 2007 15:00:00 +0000

By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON — Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani reported a whopping $16.1 million in earned income over the past 16 months, most of it in speaking fees, according to financial documents filed Wednesday.

Democratic hopeful John Edwards reported earned income of $1.25 million, the biggest single source of which was a hedge fund that employed him part time. He and his wife, Elizabeth, reported $29.5 million in assets, including millions invested in the hedge fund — the Fortress Investment Group.

Giuliani’s report provides the first detailed picture of his vast holdings and income since his term as mayor of New York ended more than five years ago. Since then, Giuliani parlayed his image as an in-charge mayor during the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks into lucrative speaking fees and business enterprises.

He reported $13 million to $45 million in assets, including his share in Giuliani & Co., a partnership that provides an array of consulting services. He also listed income from dividends and interest on many of those investments of at least $411,332 and as much as $3.3 million.

The reports were part of a flurry released Wednesday by the Federal Election Commission. The deadline for filing was Tuesday, though several candidates received 45-day extensions, including Democrat Hillary Clinton, and Republicans Mitt Romney, John McCain and Tommy Thompson. Republican Jim Gilmore asked for and received a 30-day grace period.

(more…)

Romney says voters will accept a Mormon

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Tue, 15 May 2007 16:38:00 +0000

WASHINGTON - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney says he also is troubled by the Mormon church's past practice of polygamy, but that he can overcome voter concern about his religion.

"What's at the heart of my faith is a belief that there's a creator, that we're all children of the same God and that fundamentally the relationship you have with your spouse is important and eternal," he said Sunday on CBS' "60 minutes."

But the former Massachusetts governor acknowledged that "there's part of the history of the church's past that I understand is troubling to people."

"Look, the polygamy, which was outlawed in our church in the 1800s, that's troubling to me," he said. "I have a great-great grandfather. They were trying to build a generation out there in the desert. And so he took additional wives as he was told to do. And I must admit, I can't imagine anything more awful than polygamy."

Romney, who has five sons with his wife of 38 years, says he was worried he might lose her to somebody else when he left his Michigan high school sweetheart behind in college while he did two years of missionary work in France.

Read full story here.

Giuliani hits some bumps in 2008 race

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Fri, 11 May 2007 15:30:00 +0000

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - After months of flying high in the 2008 White House race, Republican Rudolph Giuliani has hit turbulence over his support for abortion rights and his dip in some opinion polls.

Giuliani, the former New York mayor often praised for his leadership after the September 11 attacks, has been hammered by conservatives for his abortion stance and his tortured efforts to explain his long-held views in a debate last week.

The criticism grew with news that Giuliani donated in the 1990s to Planned Parenthood a leading provider of reproductive services, including abortion.

The controversies developed as national polls showed Giuliani’s once-substantial lead among Republicans shrinking in the early going leading to the November 2008 election. Polls in some key early-voting states showed him trailing top rivals like Arizona Sen. John McCain (news, bio, voting record) and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney.

“There are always going to be ups and downs for a front-runner — and Rudy is experiencing some of the downs,” pollster John Zogby said.

The conservatives who often dominate early Republican nominating contests have doubted Giuliani from the start because of his views on social issues, particularly his support for abortion rights.

He exacerbated those doubts at last week’s debate with an ambivalent answer to the question of whether the Supreme Court decision outlawing abortion should be overturned, saying it would be “OK” if it was repealed and also all right if it was upheld.

“I hate abortion,” Giuliani said. “But ultimately, since it is an issue of conscience, I would respect a woman’s right to make a different choice.”

FLOOD OF CRITICISM

His answers opened a flood of criticism from conservatives and prompted McCain, an abortion rights foe, to say a candidate who supported abortion rights would have a hard time winning the party nomination.

Republican consultant Rich Galen said Giuliani’s abortion stance was not necessarily a deal-breaker for Republicans.

“Most people are not single-issue abortion voters, no matter what McCain says,” Galen said. “Nobody has ever tested the idea that you can’t win the Republican nomination unless you are pro-life.”

Giuliani adviser Jim Dyke said the former mayor would talk more about abortion in coming weeks to make his views more clear. On the campaign trail, Giuliani often promises to appoint “strict constructionist” federal judges who will evaluate laws without legislating, and let them rule on the issue.

“You can’t fit it in a sound bite and you can’t put it on a bumper sticker,” Dyke said of Giuliani’s abortion position.

Giuliani’s once formidable lead in national polls, which reached 20 points or more over second-place McCain, has dwindled in recent weeks. A CNN poll released on Monday showed him with a 2-point advantage, although other polls give him a national lead of between 7 and 14 percentage points.

Most of the change came from Giuliani drifting back toward the pack rather than a rival charging ahead. Zogby said the silver lining for Giuliani was that none of the other nine Republican candidates were gaining strength.

“Even as Rudy’s numbers are going down, nobody’s else’s numbers are really going up on the Republican side,” he said. “There is still plenty of room for movement.”

Giuliani trails McCain in the crucial early voting states of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina that are likely to have great influence over the race’s outcome. Giuliani trails both Romney and McCain in most New Hampshire polls.

“This is what you normally see in October or November of the year before a presidential election,” pollster Dick Bennett of American Research Group said. “Things are happening much quicker this year.”

Maryland governor endorses Clinton

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Wed, 09 May 2007 14:45:00 +0000

Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley on Wednesday endorsed New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton for president and was named state chairman for Clinton's campaign.

"No one is better equipped to repair America's alliances abroad and address the urgent needs of our communities at home," O'Malley said.

Clinton praised the governor for signing the nation's first statewide living wage law on Tuesday, a measure that requires state contractors to pay at least $8.50 to workers and $11.30 in parts of Maryland such as Baltimore and the Washington suburbs where it is more expensive to live.

Maryland is a strong Democratic state. Last year, O'Malley defeated Republican Robert Ehrlich, who was the first GOP governor of Maryland in 36 years. Clinton came to Maryland during that campaign to help raise money and build enthusiasm for O'Malley and other Maryland candidates.

Democrats' 2008 electoral edge in doubt

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:30:00 +0000

The races for both parties' presidential nominations are showing signs of tightening. Yet a closer look at the numbers also reveals intriguing crosscurrents that raise questions about how solid the presumed Democratic advantage may be in November 2008.

Surveys show that people would clearly prefer that the Democratic Party win the White House next year, which political operatives and analysts attribute to the deep unpopularity of President Bush and the war in Iraq and a broad desire for change.

When top Republican and Democratic candidates are paired, however, the GOP hopefuls generally do quite well or at least hold their own.

Next year's Election Day is eons away in political time, and many things could happen to alter today's dynamics. For now, the surveys leave it unclear whether the apparent Democratic edge would really hold up should GOP candidates with moderate credentials like Rudy Giuliani or John McCain face Democrats such as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

Obama's `Youth Mojo' Sparks Student Activism, Fueling Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (darkangel) — Mon, 07 May 2007 14:36:00 +0000

When John Kerry sought the Democratic nomination in the last presidential election, his biggest Iowa crowd before the state caucuses was about 1,500 people. At a University of Iowa rally last month, Barack Obama drew 10,000 -- many of them students.

The Illinois senator's candidacy has helped spark a surge in campus activism that he has moved quickly to harness, establishing 300 college chapters and working with students to organize many of his largest rallies.

The ferment may be unparalleled since 1968, when young voters rallied behind Senator Eugene McCarthy and his anti- Vietnam War platform, said David Rosenfeld, campus program director for the Student Public Interest Research Group, which encourages campus activism.

``It's a generation that was already civically minded,'' Rosenfeld said, citing a series of close elections that have piqued student interest, debate over Iraq and the growth of online technology. ``Obama, who is charismatic and has some kind of youth mojo thing going on, steps up, and the thing takes off.''

Obama's strategy is visible on the Internet, where at least 325,000 young people have signed on to his biggest support network on Facebook.com. That far outpaces support for his main rival for the Democratic nomination, Senator Hillary Clinton.

View full story here.