My World – My Perception

Teri Amrita - A Tale of Unrequited Love

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 14:09:00 +0000

Divya Dutta reading letters as Amrita

बड़े नामुराद होते हैं वो शख्स

जिनकी मुहब्बत को चाहत का किनारा न मिला;

जैसे दफनाया गया हो

कोई लावारिस स, बेशिनाख्त

और मज़ार तक तो अपनों का सहारा न मिला

(Roughly, An individual whose love remains unrequited is as unlucky as a person whose dead body is buried as an unidentified person, even when he is surrounded by people who know him)

I could never imagine that the now extinct form of communication - letter writing - could actually be presented as an art form, till I got the opportunity to be audience of the dramatized letter reading of "Teri Amrita" at The Shri Ram Centre for Art and Culture at New Delhi the last weekend.

Originally "Love Letters" written by AG Gurney, which understandably brought out the 'Tumhari Amrita" by Javed Siddiqui enacted by Shabana Azmi and Farooq Shiekh and now adapted in Punjabi by Amrik Gill and presented by (and directed by) Om Puri and Divya Dutta as "Teri Amrita" ( Amrita pronounced as Amarta!)

The letters, read by the two actors, unfold the tale of two lovers covering a period of forty years across the spread of continents and barriers of man made boundaries. The readings unveiled the story of two souls too entwined to let go of each other and yet separated physically from each other, I would say due to their choices. Yet the fabric of their love is woven by the innumerable letters they exchange narrating the meanders of their lives.

The roles played passionately by Om Puri as Zulfi and Divya Dutta as Amrita brings alive the pain of being in love and yet remaining separated all their lives. But the reason for staying away is the choice and not destiny really. Zulfi is a conservative guy, folllows whatever his parents say and rises high in his career path of education and bureaucratic position and then a Minister. Amrita is a free soul, a rebel and lives her life through the choicesof her heart. She is lucky for that matter to be recognized as amongst the finest painters of the country and holds exhibitions the world over.

Although, this contrast of portrayal of her character as a free spirit and her extraordinary professional success surprised me a bit. A free wandering soul has expression but generally needs a mentor and guide to move her up the ladder of professional success. Sometimes being a pure artist devoid of the keenness to be a winner can be self destructing - well that is what she does at the end... self destruction.

She lives and dies for love. She commits suicide for the welfare of her love Zulfi, who gave her nothing but pain, loneliness and more pain as he moved ahead relentlessly on his path of professional, social and personal success in society, holding the position of a Minister, marrying a girl for the benefit of his career and rearing a family as any other married man. He shares all this with Amrita through his letters, even when he is aware of his love for her, even when she asks him to marry her. He chooses career and position over love.

The question that struck me as I got up from my seat to give a standing ovation and applause to the heart wrenching performance of the two actors, was that is it worthwhile to love and not to be loved back ever by that person? Is one sided love actually love, or is it an obsession of the thing which has been denied to us? Is the expectation to be loved back in a relationship too much? Or is it not love where you expect the other person to love you back?

I was reading some thought about love by Osho. It said something like if you are looking for love in return of love, then you really are wasting your time, as it is not love. But how long can you keep on loving a person without reciprocation? And if you do, is that natural or its your dependence to be in love and pain which making you stick to your object of desire? I really don't know. What do you think dear reader?

RESTLESS

PS: I thank my friends and blogger pals to prod me to write something in the blog, after a long time! Another thanks to the friend who arranged the pass for this play, as it was really difficult to get it.

We Don't Say Goodbye!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 27 May 2012 12:53:00 +0000

I don't know whether it's good or bad that i am finding no time at all to blog! I am keeping extremely busy... in fact had been too busy for last few months. And finally, I feel I can't blog, at least, as of now I feel so.

It's bad because that creative flow has got somewhat dried up and i am not reading any good blogs or posts now and also seem to have lost touch with my favorite blogger pals :(

But, the good part is that I am so gainfully engaged and I am not really missing much in life.

But my blog remains my love and blogger pals my affectionate friends.

I shall resume blogging when I know I can really do that with all my heart and soul.

Till then take care!

I shall be back :)

RESTLESS

A child - Snapshot

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 17:58:00 +0000

Innocence of this child caught my attention driving on a Delhi road... don't know what more to say...

RESTLESS

Spring In Delhi - Snap shots

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 06:52:00 +0000

Its lovely to see the beautiful flowers around in Delhi at this time of the year! I went to IGNCA, New Delhi to visit an exhibition, but it was a Monday, which happens to be their weekly off. So I captured these pics of the little garden maintained by them in their vicinity.

RESTLESS :)

Versatile Blogger Award

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 15:28:00 +0000

My co-blogger ZRADAR had tagged me for this fantastically sounding "Versatile Blogger Award". I am honoured and humbled that despite not writing for such a long time, my blog is not completely vanished out of the radar of my co bloggers (pun not intended). Thanks a ton ZRADAR for tagging me.

The rules for the Versatile Blog Awards are:

Nominate 15 fellow bloggers.
Inform the bloggers of their nomination.
Share 7 random things about yourself.
Thank the blogger who nominated you.
Add the Versatile Blog Award picture on your blog post.

So, I have to nominate 15 fellow bloggers.... here goes the names of my favourite bloggers..

Prathama http://prathama-raghavan.blogspot.in -She writes from her heart, so honest and so sensitive and covers a lots of topics, many of which are not even known to me.

Reema http://opinionsandexpressions.wordpress.com - She is so full of life despite being a busy professional and her spirit is visisble in her posts on movies, books, life etc.

Sharbouri http://sharbori.wordpress.com - A wonderful person who has deep insights in the minds of people due to her profession as well, she writes as she thinks. She is away from blogging these days, hope this post brings her back.

Vaish http://www.vaish143.blogspot.com - She is my blogging sister! Lovely and simple at heart.. she writes about various things which touch her life - books, travel, photography and photography! Love to read her!

Harish (Conscientous reflections) http://diaryofaragingbull.blogspot.com - A voracious reader who writes about book reviews and movies and life. There is not just a simple review, but a certain in depth analysis about the states of things. Its always enriching to read his blog.

Psych Babbler http://www.overacuppacoffee.com Whatever little i know about her is due to her posts,which are so straight out of her mind... and i feel i know her somehow. She too has a great understanding of things and people and expresses them without mincing words. She is an amazing and versatile blogger.

Vee http://psychesvisage.blogspot.com He had been there since i started blogging..is my blogger pal... writes about things which affect his life..his work... his friends... his books and movies. He too is not blogging.. i hope to hear from him after i tag him!

Prateek http://prateek-bagri.blogspot.com - A spunky young boy.. who makes his reading go ROFL and sometimes sit up and think... he is wonderful blogger pal.

Anshul http://aestheticblasphemy.blogspot.com - Is very very versatile and unpredictable.. as far as his posts are concerned! Has a great fan following too!

Uncle Jack http://niceguy251.blogspot.com 'Uncle' as all his readers address him affectionately, is a grand pa, but its really nice to see a person do blogging and write about his expereinces of life around him. Many a teenagers visit his blog regularly for his pearls of wisdom. Regards... uncle.

Rocksea http://www.rocksea.org He is a professional in the field of science... an observer... his posts.. and photographs speak for themselves. He too can write about anything.. u can't guess it!

Niket http://niketgupta.blogspot.com The ever cheerful young man Niket had been a blogger pal for a long time now. Reading his blog is life reading him...he too writes about things that affect him... which are so varied.

Pooja Desai https://poojashahdesai.wordpress.com Blogging sister....writes from her heart... and its always so soothing to read her blog.

Nikhil Garg http://nikhil-garg.blogspot.in A versatile blogger, a young guy who writes with so much joy and excitement.

Restless Souldier http://restlesssouldier.blogspot.in We share a common word in our profile name... that's how he reached my blog! He writes wonderfully.. and topics can be so different each time... travel... his mean machine...and yes he won a prize in a contest where he wrote about something like what is real beauty...he is amazing. Again away from blogging... hope this brings him back!

A special mention : I haven't tagged u BookWorm, but u r and remain the person who showed the way to blogging, and always wrote encouraging and honest comments on all my posts...even when i never gave feedback on urs. You had been lending me ur books.. and i had been keeping them for long shamelessly! And now i am watching ur movie collection...thanks a ton for being such a huge support. Thanks :)

I will inform all of you, and hope that u pick up the tag, if u have not done it already.

Sharing 7 random things about me :

1. I am a "to do list" and "Reminder" person. In fact, i keep reminders in my phone, write in my diary about things to do today, by the end of the week, or by next month. I live maximum for next six months.

2. I can't remember numbers! Although, I store all birthdays and anniversary dates in my mobile as I cannot remember dates.

3.I love mountains to much that I want to die in a small cottage in some hills.

4.I love nail paints and well groomed nails and hands!

5. I consider myself as a very effective car driver ( take a lot of pride in this, as women are considered bad drivers)

6. I cannot tolerate very hot and very cold weather. Both make me irritable.

7. I love to (read have to!) moisturize my skin meticulously, as I have a very dry skin (but u can't tell that seeing it!)

RESTLESS

PS: Made certain changes in the content later.

Gone With The Wind

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 08:39:00 +0000

I was fortunate yesterday to grab some time for myself, and managed to watch the movie "Gone With the Wind".

Gone With The Wind is an American historical epic movie based on a novel of Margaret Mitchell's novel of the same name. The film received 10 Academy Awards.

The movie was long- 3 hrs 44 minutes. If I knew it initially, i would have been a little discouraged to watch it seeing what little time we women have at home for ourselves. But, it was good that I didn't know! So I had to see it till the end and I slept late watching it.

The movie was great, needless to say. It also figures amongst the 50 best romantic movies of all times. I am glad, I watched it.

There was one thing, which struck me by the end of the movie, which speaks a lot about how our minds work, how relationships work.

Briefly, there is a love triangle in the movie which lasts for a lifetime. A guy(lets call him the hero) is awed by this vivacious and spirited girl. He also knows and acknowledges that she is pretty selfish, shrewd, clever and a little money minded. He likes the girl's never say die attitude. He admits to the girl at one point that since he himself is so selfish and shrewd, may be that's the reason why he loves her. But the girl doesn't pay much heed to him... as she is already in love with a guy. But somehow, our hero persuades the girl to marry him, although he is aware about her basic nature, her love for another guy and has a feeling that the girl only loves his money and not him.

The point which struck me is that often we hate a person for the things, or traits, or habits or behaviour for which we had loved them at some point. The guy knew very well about her free spirit, her ambitiousness, her courage, her charm which she often used to her advantage, her uninhibited display of her attraction towards the other guy . But he goes ahead to marry this enigma.... only to be hating her for what she was later in his life. And finally, he abandons her.

Have you ever felt so? Ever experienced that in your relationships? Have you ever disliked the same thing you liked sometime in your loved one? Share that with me. Personally, I have experienced it a number of times, and had wondered why? The depiction of the characters in the movie brought out the thought again. From "What a woman!" to "I don't give a damn to how you live now on" is a painful journey, which unravels the complexity of human minds.

If this thought struck a chord somewhere in your mind... do write to me.

RESTLESS

In The Name Of Honour

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 19:33:00 +0000

As I held this book "In The Name Of Honour" by Mukhtar Mai, in my hand, standing in the library, I just knew I wanted to read it. Although, generally I don't enjoy reading a biography, but i decided to pick this book up instinctively. The cover page shows the side view of the face of Mukhtar Mai. You can't miss the confidence and the strength on her face. The language is simple. The book gives a chronological account of the happenings without going into too much detail about the unfateful day, the trials and tribulations that this young woman faces to get justice for herself.

The book very well brings out the social, cultural, religious and political state of the country.The existence of tribal law, religious law and the law of the land are different. Women bear the brunt when revenge is to be sought, accounts have to be settled and punishment is to be awarded. Prevalence of caste system is not unknown to India too. In this case Mukhtar Mai belonged to Gujar caste and the higher caste who had the monopoly in the Meerpur area was Mastoi.

As I began to read the first page of the book, I felt hot flushes flowing down my spine. I was going to read the story of a woman who used her humiliation to empower herself... and to seek justice from the law of her land. (Also, it struck me later while writing this post that the last book which I read and wrote about "The Palace of Illusions" also had a similar tone and story, Draupadi seeking revenge from Kauravas for her humiliation).

I had read about this news, years back, and to be precise in June 2002. A young woman is meted out a punishment by the local tribal court in Pakistan. Her fault was that her brother was found sitting with a girl of a higher caste in a wheat field. The punishment was that she be gang raped by the men of that higher caste for the 'honour crime' her 13 yrs old brother has committed.

The news had jolted me like many others and had created a uproar in the whole world. The young woman's name became a synonym of women's right world wide. She was a poor, illiterate young divorcee, daughter of a small peasant, she taught embroidery work to other young girls. Simple at heart and religious.

She and her family were fooled, as she was to ask for forgiveness for what her brother had done (her brother was sodomized and beaten brutally though). As she thought, her words of apology would close a chapter of family feud, little did she know that she is going to be pushed inside a small stable and gang raped by four men, while the whole village will become a witness of her helplessness. Little did she know when she walked back to her home after that, carrying the weight of that body covered just by his father's shawl, bearing the pain of that body which has been violated so violently, that her pain, her anger, her anguish will pave the way for a women's movement in her country and in the whole world.

Revenge and justice are two different things. When there is no faith left in justice, we seek revenge.

Mukhtar Mai wanted justice and because of the spread of the news at international level, and various NGOs closely watching, she does get justice finally after a lot of problems, due to which she realises that she was being fooled at every step as she was illiterate. Therefore, the money she receives from various aides is used by her to run a school for girls as well as boys in her village. She wants no other girl to put her thumb print on a paper on which the only words written are treachery and exploitation.

A story of sheer grit and determination in face of acute poverty and fear for one's life. An amazing read.

RESTLESS

Being Draupadi - Thoughts On Women's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 13:16:00 +0000

Was it a coincidence or was it destined that I would be finishing reading this book (yes, it takes me a around two months to finish a book) around International Women's Day? I don't know but there is a rush of power flowing in my blood as i flip cautiously through the crisp pages of the book "The Palace of Illusions" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. If I put it simply for you, which i am tempted not to do, I would say that this book is an interpretation of Mahabharata through the eyes of "Draupadi".

We all have grown up on the stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata, and the countless repetitions, the convincing tones of our grand parents, the supplementary reading books in schools of these epics, and the live characters shown on TV serials made on these stories make us believe deeply that these were real. Were they? After reading the book, i am getting convinced they were.

All this time I was waiting to finish the book, to be able to write about it. I was burning since the time Draupadi is insulted and humiliated in Court of Hastinapur. I was livid on her husbands' silence. I too wanted an answer as to what kept everybody quiet? But I pulled along with the woman with five husbands, as she moves ahead in her life, but i burnt in anger, grinding my teeth as i read the name of 'Yudhisthir' again and again in the book.

But, i can't believe where my anger has dissolved suddenly, as i finish the book. As i closed the hard bound cover, i also covered my eyes preventing them to lose the sight, the solace, the peace and the contentment I have got.... just as Draupadi might have felt before dying. As she lay bruised, hurt, frozen, numbed by cold of the snow on the way to Mahaprasthan, she has amongst all the questions this one question which haunted her all her life "Why did Bheeshma not stop Duryodhan from robing her modesty in full view of his royal court?" And Krishna, her friend for life, omnipresent, (he had already died by then, simply put) says :

" Bheesma thought too deeply of the laws of the men. It paralyzed him. He wasn't sure whether you were already Durodhan's property - in which case he had no right to intervene. But sometimes one has to drop logic and go with the instinct of the heart even if it contradicts law".

A balm for my heart... and a resonance of my thoughts... made me relax. Sometimes a mere understanding of your pain from your loved one is all you need.

As I try to make sense to you, dear reader, I realise that my thoughts on this book, my feeling for Draupadi and my intent to write something on the occasion of Women's Day, today as we live in a different Yuga altogether, are all mixed up,and all so connected, roughly speaking. It's almost like trying to pull out the loose end of a badly entangled woollen yarn.

This book is a powerful reading, seeing and feeling the world and life around Draupadi was indeed an eye opener, as the author takes you along the journey right from the Yagna fire from which she was born to the open sky where her soul wanders relaxed after she leaves her body. It was mystical.

I never knew that Draupadi loved Karna so intently and so passionately in the secrecy of her heart and nor did I know that amongst her five husbands, it was Bheema who actually loved her truly. The book "The Palace of Illusions" puts forth the women of that era, puts their feelings and thoughts at the fore front. And that really delights me, to be able to feel another woman's heart and soul.

To sum up Draupadi's persona, I would not say that she was a great woman, as she had her flaws which caused the great war. But, I would surely say that she lived her life as she wanted it, she followed her mind and was strong willed. She respected herself even when her husbands faltered. That is something amazing about her. Although as a queen and as a wife of five men she outshone other women, but she simply ignored her five sons born out of the Pandavas. She hardly contributed in their upbringing as she chose to remain with her husbands in exile.

Lastly, to sum up my thoughts over the book and the current situation of women in our country, I am left with one question: What would a common man choose today family honour or personal pride and ego or the well being, safety and security of a loved one? The answer may vary from situation to situation, but think about it.

RESTLESS

Just Wanted To Say - Thanks!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:52:00 +0000

Actually initially I had not intended to write a post so soon, but I couldn't help myself as I really wanted to say a big thank you to my dear blogger pals! Thanks a ton for saying those caring, affectionate and wise words to this restless soul. Thanks for taking time out for me. Despite the fact that I was not able to blog or read any blog since last two months, my blogger pals turned up to me.... visited this blog and did write to me. I feel truely happy that through blogging I have been bestowed with an emotional support system... well, that's the best way I can put it.

Thanks!

RESTLESS : )

RESTLESS

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 07:44:00 +0000

I know I am beginning this post on a negative note. But here, on my blog, in this little space of mine, I want to be true, I want to be honest. For last two or three months, I am not happy and not in peace with myself. In fact, I am what I blog user name is "Restless". For once I am not happy with this state, because this has dragged for too long this time. Earlier I knew that my restlessness was something unique, as it kept me on my toes, doing things, thinking and reading. But, now it's feeling like a heavy weight on me. I had not been blogging for quite some time. This is the longest ever gap I have given since the beginning of the blog.

I wish and in fact I believe that this phase will also pass.... the phase of unexplainable restlessness..... of mind, of heart and of soul. As they say - This too shall pass.

I have written about why I call myself restless and what does it mean to be restless in this and this and this post. And surprisingly, I got some overwhelming responses from some known and some unknown (to me) bloggers. It was heart warming to read their take. Suddenly, I felt we belong to a cult of "restless souls".

This time of my life the restlessness is at its peak once again. Each time it has happened, I think it has pushed a little up in the ladder or say the pyramid of self realisation. This time too there is a deep unrest.... the sound of the emptiness of inner self is echoing in me.... its some fear.... fear of losing the ground beneath my feet.... fear of losing myself in the whirlpool of nothingness.... which surrounds me.... despite having everything in life.

I am trying to unload myself of the weight of this strange noise of eerie silence around me by writing in the blog post of mine. I don't know whether it makes any sense to anyone.... but this is it.

And how had you been dear blogger pals? Would love to hear a word or two from you about your well being in the comment form....

RESTLESS

An Ode To The Blog Comment Spammers- Part I

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:12:00 +0000

My heart is filled with gratitude as I, so full of emotions, type out about the most under rated guys on the blogosphere and other social net work sites. They work day and night to make us bloggers feel special, writing glorious comments, praising us with all their might, going gaga over our scribblings, and yet they never get their due. Their labour of love, their comments are trapped in our spam boxes of Blogger. They are identified by their IP addresses and their suspicious looking writeup hiding that hyperlink underneath their sweet mumble, their honey bunny words. Today, my heart sings an ode for all the spammers who filled (or at least tried to fill) my blog with their sweet nothings! Hope you'll enjoy reading their love letters to me! You can also share the loveliest love letter received on your blog... muuaaahhh ;)

Category - I

The Mushy mushy spammers who made my day!!

1. Considerably, this post is really the sweetest on this notable topic. I harmonise with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your incoming updates. Saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the phenomenal clarity in your writing. I will directly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Admirable work and much success in your business dealings! Please excuse my poor English as it is not my first tongue.

(OMG!!!! u'll look forward thirstily?!!!)

2. I can not thank you adequately for the posts on your web site. I know you’d put a lot of time and effort into them and hope you know how much I appreciate it. I hope I’ll do exactly the same for someone else at some point.

(No, i didn't know sweety!!)

3. Read this article, so I learned a lot of understanding, thank you!

(good boy!)

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5. You pretty much said what i could not effectively communicate.

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(What's the trick about it boy?!)

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(I wanna know who this Brinkka is?? grrr...)

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(I don't care who u r! am happeeee my blog is so sophisticated!!! hippeeee!!!!!)

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( You wanted to ' command'??... anyways... so r u hankering to hear from me?! not bad!!)

12. Hello once again, that I found your blog I think became blog budies lol! Apart all Jokes nice page!I'm Marco I'm newbie at this web surfing stuff! Enjoyed a lot here.

(Blog buddies?? very funny!)

Enjoy!

RESTLESS

मेरी डायरी से

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 08:42:00 +0000

गुम चोट

खुला घाव होता तो दिखा भी देते

खून रिसता होता, तो बता भी देते

अब क्या शिकायत करें किसी से

जब अपनों ने दी हो, सिर्फ गुम चोट |

अपने आंसु की वजह क्या बताएं अब

उतरे चेहरे का सबब क्या समझाएं तुम्हे

पढ़ सको तो पढ़ लो तुम ही

हमारी ख़ामोशी में है एक गुम चोट |

RESTLESS

Diwali Of The Underdog

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:59:00 +0000

I don't know how many times did I type "Happy Diwali" in last two days. I am wondering what was so happy about diwali? I know i sound very very selfish and negative here.

While I was dressed up in my anarkali kurta and chudidar, all braced with jhumkis and bangles, walking cautiously in my heels holding my sleek clutch in one hand and a gift wrapped in shiny gift paper, I passed by the press-wali(see meaning below) stationed underneath the staircase of the multi storey flat where our family friend lived. I had the same thoughts in my mind - What is so happy about Diwali and Diwali gifting? The eagerness and efficiency with which the middle aged press-wali clad in her simple, unstarched cotton Saree, was ironing the clothes of her clients made me feel so shallow. I was fortunate to be wearing one such dress and not the one ironing it for someone else to shine brightly in the well creased dress done by me.

I lowered my head, thanked God for that for his graciousness that He has bestowed on me and my family.

Back home, when I lighted a diya and a candle outside my home before doing puja performed by my Mother in law, I saw a bunch of rag picker boys. I was surprised to see one of the boys lustily looking at the burning candle. Confused, I asked him whether he wanted to steal the candle. A bright light shone in his eyes and he smiled sheepishly on my question. Seeing a strict look in my eyes, he backed off, but then shot a question on my, to which the only way I could have reacted was a dropped jaw - "aaj Diwali hai?" he asked, meaning "Is it Diwali today?"

Needless to say that i felt a great pity on the boy who does not even know about the one of the biggest festivals of India. He added quickly that since he does not have new clothes so he does not know. Then, I realized, he was just making a fool out of me. Phew! it's so easy to fool me. The boy was soon joined by his friends, and they had around 5 or 6 packets of correcting fluids and thinners in their hands.

Rag- pickers and correcting fluid is one mismatch. But, I was not surprised. These young boys like many rag pickers, beggars etc. use them like drugs, to get a high, as an intoxicating agent may be. They spend their hard earned money in buying stuff to please them for a few hours. It was Diwali for them, to be able to buy so many bottles at one go. The bunch of small boys, all dirty and stinking, jumped like monkeys, with their pockets stuffed with red and white packets, and they vanished in a by lane, probably to enjoy their Diwali.

I didn't know should I be happy for them or sad for them. I don't know....

All I know the boys will be back the next morning, looking for unexploded crackers, match boxes, empty cartons etc on the roads. They will be equipped with some tool to scrape off the melted wax of candles of Diwali night outside the houses. I'm sure they would catch hold of some leftover sweet box somewhere on some corner of the colony.

I'm sure about that....

Anyways Happy Diwali guys.....

RESTLESS

Press-wali - In many Indian cities, some people create small stalls (basically a wooden table and a coal iron) in the lanes and by-lanes of colonies and iron people's clothes for money. They are commonly known as press wali or press wala.

Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster - Movie Talk

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 09:58:00 +0000

Just when I started to believe that "Adult only" movie means abuses or crass language hurled in abundance in desi flavours of dilli, UP, Bihar, Mumbai ; Just when I thought "Adult only" means gore, bloodshed and violence, this movie surprised me as by the end of the movie I knew why this movie was rated only for adult viewers! For the good old reason ie., having plenty of intimate scenes, the movie Saheb Biwi aur Gangster is rated only for "Adults". And thankfully its not Imran Hashmi doing the honours!

Talking about the title of the movie, I must admit that it is very unimaginative. It immediately reminds you of Saheb Biwi aur Gulam. But the title does one favour on the movie! It actually lowered my expectation, but the movie came out to be a bomb!

Just when you thought that 'Gangster' only means underworld and mafia with lots of guns (or katta) and no remorse, this movie surprises you with the gangster with a difference!

For a change, this movie is not a No Brainer! Each and every character has been chiseled out well. Each and every part of the story is well connected and does not disappoint you. Nothing happens out of the blue, typical of Hindi movies; everything had a background and a reason, even how the gangster became a gangster is explained.

Jimi Shergill showed the royal grace

Jimi Shergill as Saheb is suave, looks sophisticated and very hot. He possesses that princely grace which is required for his character. Be it his attire (just loved his dressing style) or his body language, he stands out. Mahie Gill made her mark in the movie. She was admirable throughout the movie. Randeep Hooda acted well, but a more stunning guy with some X factor could have added more zing. Deepal Shaw had a small role, and was a patakha, as far as her performance is concerned.

The intimate scenes were shot aesthetically. The subtle difference between the love making of two seasoned lovers and two people burning with the fire of body was portrayed beautifully. Hats off for that.

Jimi Shergill - intense and promising actor

The story takes twists and turns. You can't manage to bat your eyelid for more than a fraction of a second or you will miss it! All in all a very intelligent masala movie.

I don't like to write the story of the movie I watch, but definitely discuss about the questions it raised in my mind.

First, that when the chips of a man are down, he can not handle his woman or women well. Women bear the brunt of being the wife or co-inhabiting a man who has lost the game of life, a man who is unsuccessful in his professional life. Be it the alcoholic and slightly mentally disturbed wife of the Jimi Shergill or his mistress, whom he got killed barbarically by his wild canine that too after making love with her.

Second very striking aspect of human mind experienced in the movie was that when on one hand a woman tends to give all in love, a man always thinks of some gain out of the woman. A woman who has surrendered herself cannot do more than that for his man, but for a man it's the beginning of garnering more and more material gains from her or through her. Reminds me of typical Indian marriage system, where even today a girl is regarded as a passage to her father's wealth.

Randeep Hooda (lacks X factor) Mahie Gill was fabulous

Third, is about adultery, the taboo for Indian society (or is it not?). The writing on the wall is that when a man strays it's because of his wife and when a woman strays, it's because of her character or rather lack of it. And, in the adulterous relationship, it is the woman who is more responsible for everything, and it is the woman who has to and must bear the brunt of social stigma. And, it's macho for the man.

Fourth, Love in the times of MMS. When the love deprived 'biwi' Mahie Gill chooses to befriend her young driver Randeep Hooda (who is in the royal family for a purpose), the guy makes sure to make a video clip and sends it to the husband at the climax of the movie. I was wondering why would a lover or an ex lover or a jilted lover do that?

Because he knows that even if Indian law holds only the man responsible for adultery, but in the social norms, it's the fault of the woman only. (Indian Penal Code, Section 497 provides : “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he known or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years or with fine, or with both. In such a case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.)

Whatever the law says, but in the male dominated society like ours every man knows that pretty well, that the husband will spare the guy in question but will batter the wife to death for this, or else the social stigma will kill her everyday.

It's a must watch movie for mature as well as young people. It's got something for every age group. Above all, you feel proud that a bollywood masala movie can leave you awed!

Enjoy! and A Very Happy, Prosperous and Peaceful Diwali to all of you!

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Why Only Women Fast For Men??

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:11:00 +0000

Tomorrow is Karva Chauth and last year on this occasion I wrote a post "Karva Chauth - A Modern View On The Ancient Ritual " analyzing the rituals followed, the tale or tales behind the festival, the scope and myths attached to it. The post was liked by many of my dear blogger pals and was also selected and picked up by AsiaMag.

A woman looks at the moon through a strainer on Karva Chauth

This year I have another question to ask. Why is that only women fast in Indian society? Why is it defined that way that women - be it the mother, the wife, the wife to be fasts for the health and life of her son, or husband or husband to be?

I really don't want the male reader to think that I have a problem with women fasting for the men? But why is it that it has been preached by our religion, by our customs, through the folk lore, the myths that it's the woman who must abstain from food in order to be pious enough to pray for the man/men in her life?

Vrat Savitri Puja performed by women

As you know that Karva Chauth is rampantly followed in North of India in which married women and engaged girls fast for their husbands or husband to be. There is another fast for husband known as Vat Savitri Puja which is mainly observed in Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, Delhi, Orissa and Maharashtra. Also, South Indian married ladies especially of Tamil Nadu and Karanataka observe festival with the different name as Karadaiyan Nonbu or Savitri Nonbu Vritham.

When we are talking about the husband or the husband to be, then how can i forget the Solah Somwar Vrat ie. fasting for 16 Mondays in a row to appease Lord Shiva so as to get a good husband.

Not just for the husband , but Indian culture has many fasts for the well being of one's son or sons. Be it the Ahoi Mata fast or Ahoi Ashthami in which the mother fasts for the well being of her sons or the Chath Pooja where the mother or the elder woman of the family fasts and performs elaborate fasting, pooja etc for the welfare of the family. (However, I have many acquaintance from Bihar and UP and they say that although it's for the family, but it's mostly for the son and so the mother fasts for the son.)

Chath puja

Does it not baffle you as to why different regions of our country prescribe different fasts and rituals for the welfare of our sons or husbands, but there is not even a single fast for the well being of the wife or the daughter!!!

Ahoi Mata picture in front of which mothers perform puja

Does it not amuse you as to how the women who fast for their men slog the whole day, cooking, cleaning, washing, serving food to other members of the family while she is hungry the whole day and at times without water? I don't think there is any consideration for this in our average Indian families.

What is it? Abstinence prescribed only for women for the sake of the males of the family? The energy of piousness of the woman to be used for the betterment of the family? Just what do the scriptures and the rituals mean when they say WOMEN SHOULD FAST FOR MEN?

Or was it because earlier men worked and women stayed at home (and that is taken as no work!), so they could get into all this stuff to keep themselves busy? It sounds absurd to me.

Coming back to the most famous fast for married women - Karva Chauth. Have you, the men reading the post, ever fasted for your woman? At least skipped one meal on this day for her?

Or let me ask the women, have you ever asked or expected your husband to reciprocate your gesture? Or have you slogged all day at office and home, helping your children with their homework and prepared dinner for the whole family? Did this question ever cross your mind that love needs to be reciprocated by your partner, so why does he also not join you in fasting for a day?

Let me know what do you think about it? Feel free to share about any other ritual related to the post.

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PS: I remember a course mate of mine ( with whom I attended a training and the whole class got discussing this issue passionately) who fasts every year for his wife since then and calls or smses me to tell this to me every year!

Pati Patni Aur Tu!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 10:29:00 +0000

Generally speaking, there is one striking similarity in the urban and the rural couples, of at least North India. The men address their wives as 'tu' (thou).

Although English language generalizes the way we address all and sundry as 'you', it is the Hindi language which having got influenced by the Mughal dynasties and the Lucknowi andaaz holds three ways of addressing people depending on their age, status, intimacy and respectability as aap, tum and tu.

It's interesting to note that Ghalib wrote, "Teri mehfil mein aakar bade beaabroo hue/ Aap se tum aur tum se tu hue" (I humiliated myself in your company/ From aap, i became tum, and finally tu).

In this post, instead of generalizing the usage of the three words in the different relationships in society, i would like to stick to only couples - married or in a relationship.

In the beginning of a relationship, the men and the women stick to some kind of formal conversations.... some small talk.... trying to strike a conversation and mostly address each other as 'aap'. As and if the closeness increases, 'aap' changes to 'tum' and with time or with the feeling of permanency of the partner, it becomes 'tu'. If the culmination of the relationship is marriage (which is not a reality now a days) the 'tu' is irreversible from the husband's side and the girlfriend turned wife has to mend her ways to shift back to 'aap'.

The need to address the husband as 'aap' arises more because Indian wife won't use the first name of the husband. Girls, at least till one decade back, would absolutely refrain from uttering their husband's name, even to call them. Women would shyly or commandingly call out as 'suno', 'suniye' or the Bollywood auntiji and mummyji style 'maine kaha ji' or (worse!!) 'munnu ke papa' ie., referring to their young one!

There is a great great shift in the way girls are handling their hubbys now. Most of my friends call out their husband's first name while talking to or referring to them. (Reminds me of a life insurance Advertisement where the young lady enters the home shouting (yeah literally shouting) "Sanjoo" many a times. First time i thought she was calling her pet dog! psst!). 'Eey ji , O ji, sunte ho ji, has been shooed out of the home (and the bedroom ) by ' honey' , 'sweet heart' and 'baby' (huff! that's a relief!!)

Talking about the men addressing their wives, the only person who comes to my mind is the old Hindi movie actor Om Prakash, who was always seen calling his on-screen wife as "Aree bhagyawaan, sunti ho?!" I think, all of us, in North India, have seen our parents sparingly using each other's names, except when they had to fill up some form!

Today, I find it very refreshing when I hear a man say the name of his wife while referring to something like "Ritu loves prawns... so taking some for her". For me, addressing your partner by his or her name is like marrying the person and not the whole family. Girls were discouraged to use the husband's first name, as that would decrease the respect... and also the mother in law would feel that the girl is trying to overpower her son. Some such thoughts were behind the practice. Thankfully, the young couples are leaving them behind and cherishing togetherness and oneness like never before.

But, it's just 'tu' which hasn't changed in all these years. I am not talking about a particular caste, or region, or less educated people, or not so well off people. It's a trend just anywhere. Some use is all the time, and others would speak like that in anger, but a wife remains a 'tu'.

I asked a few men, as to why they can not address their wives as 'aap' or at least 'tum' when the women are respectful enough to them? Believe me, the question surprised them!! They were just not prepared for the question, so hard wired they were about the usage.

Someone said, 'tu' means we are close to each other. Someone said, we are like friends... don't friends address each other as 'tu'? Another MCP kind of man replied "so? should i address her as 'aap'? ye devi hai? pooja karoon iski?" (Is she some goddess? should i worship her as well?)

The answers spoke for themselves.

Although, there were exceptions, but they were few. But I was truly glad to hear from a friend how he always addressed his wife as 'aap', and the reason given was "if she respects me, why shouldn't I?"

Another exception is the young couple, who had a love marriage and were used to calling each other as 'tu' for a long time, and had to somehow give up using 'tu' in front of parents, (i am talking about the girl only)

Why am i so averse of the word 'tu' to be used for one's partner?

Ever heard a man speaking to the house maid as "toone kamra saaf kyu nahi kiya?" (why did thou not clean the room) and in the same breath saying "too jaldi se (shopping) list bana ke de" (thou make the shopping list) to his wife?

Interestingly, some time back, an Urdu teacher in Lahore divorced his young wife when she inadvertently called him "tum" instead of "aap"!

'Tu' is a strange word in our society, and here I'm talking about Delhi culture. When you want to show your superiority, say in front of a labourer or a rickshaw walla or a domestic maid - 'tu' is used maximum. When you want to show comradeship or bhaipanti, u say 'tu'. When addressing God, some people out of closeness say 'tu' to God. Elders used to address children as 'tu', which has changed now in educated households.

So, people use 'tu' either when they stand on equal footing (close friends) and unequal footing ( master - servant or God - human). Unfortunately, marriage in India does not make women stand on an equal footing (proved further by the fact that women cannot address husband as 'tu') and women today are not ready for the unequal grounds in marriage. The conflict that arises is of this sort. It starts from language and goes much deeper and much widespread when it comes to equality in married couples.

Respect, like Love, needs to be reciprocated in committed relationships and men must avoid giving those funny logic of being close and intimate and therefore, they call out their wives as 'tu' even in public. In fact, when a man says we are close (in this context) he almost means 'seen that been there and bored'.

What do you think about it? Has 'tu' ever irked you the way it does to me? Do you find 'tu' normal? Have you ever told your husband how you feel being addressed as 'tu' or 'toone' or 'tujhe' in public?

Let me know

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Anugunj - The Lohar And Agaria Origin Myth

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 08:08:00 +0000

The iron frame and little figures within look like some antique look show piece of a modern Living room, but these metal figures represent some well preserved myths by the people of Chhhattisgarh and Madhya Pradesh in India. Here goes the stories:-

The Agaria Origin Myth

Region - Mandla, Madhya Pradesh, India

When God wished to create living beings, he found the earth submerged under the sea and Keechakmal, the earthworm feeding on it. With the help of Kakamal (crab), the row and the earthworm itself, he manged to establish the earth on waters. To ensure its stability, he commanded Agaris, Tamasu, Kansasur to secure it with iron, copper and (erazed text) respectively, thus stabilizing the earth for habitation.

The Lohar Origin Myth

Region - Bastar, Chhattisgarh, India

Sabarsi, the King of Loharipur had twelve sons, of whom Logundi was the eldest. Angarmati was the only daughter. All road in Loahripur were made of iron and all citizens subsisted on molten iron. They were so self sufficient that even during the twelve year long famine, only the people of Loharipur did not seek divine intervention. This roused the wrath of the sun God who trapped these unsuspecting people into touching water, an act, which robbed them of the gift to digest molten iron. It was Angarmati, whose Jwalamukhi, later avenged his family by imprisoning Sun and Moon in an iron cage.

You may visit 'Anugunj' - a travelling exhibition based on myths and folk beliefs of India has been organised in theNational Museum, Janpath, New Delhi

from 15 Sep 2011 to 11 Oct 2011.

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The Myths and Superstitions of India

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 10:53:00 +0000

I wrote about 'Anugunj' an exhibition on the Myths beliefs and folk lore of India, which is being presented in the National Museum, New Delhi.

Undoubtedly, myths, legends, folk tales, stories which pass on from generation to generation only through the word of mouth are so very common in India. Along with that superstitions also constitute a major part of our lives.

These myths vary from place to place, from on State to another, from one community to another. Depending on what place to belong to, you grow up with a few superstitions. With time, either we begin to question them or follow them mindlessly.

A scary ugly face is put on the facade of buildings to ward off evil spirits

As a 6-7 year old I had asked my mother - "Tell Me Why??" I guess, no parents would give a proper answer to their children for such question in those days.

Elderly ladies in my family have always said that there was a lot of wisdom in those beliefs which we call myths today. Since my childhood, I have tried to find some logic in the superstitions followed in my home. If I was able to find any sane logic in them, I would follow.

Here are a few superstitions and the possible thought behind it or the logic supporting it.

My mother always told not to sweep the floor after sunset. I think it was because there was no electricity in the rural India and sweeping floor after the sunset, when they only had oil lamps, can result in sweeping away small jewellery pieces or money from the home. But, I don't think it hold any relevance in today's time.

Also, switching on the lights in the evening with chanting the name of God along with that was always funny for me! Was it some means of thanking the Fire God in the old days when a oil lamp was burnt in the evening? Possibly. Although, there is no harm in showing gratitude, but now with living in smaller and closed homes we switch on the lights right from the morning, I think the practice of thanking God for light got vanished.

Another interesting myth is that we should not cross over or jump over the legs of a person who is sitting or lying down, as this may lead to stunted growth! And this was followed with all the zeal in those growing up years. I think, this superstition has a logic behind it. While a person is walking and crossing over the legs of another person, there are chances of his losing balance and falling over the person who is sitting and can cause medium to severe injury to both the people, especially the one who is sitting. So, even today I tell my children to follow it but have clarified why I want them to follow this age old practice.

Never cross the road if a black cat has crossed the road before you is one myth, which brings out the meanness of our society. There is a great amount of fear in people even today when they see a black cat, or a cat crossing the road or path they are travelling upon. I have seen that people stop besides the road, or slow down their car/scooter and wait for another person to cross it, before they do so. This shows the height of selfishness and meanness to which we go. I think this is one baseless belief we are still carrying on, without thinking that a healthy animal is bound to move around whether we think it's a good omen or bad.

Not washing clothes, not shaving or not buying oil/iron or not eating non vegetarian food on certain days of the week are also one of the most followed superstition in India. Hair saloons and beauty parlours are closed on Tuesday, as it is believed as bad luck to cut hair/shave on this day. On Thursday clothes are not washed. Non veg food is not consumed on Tuesday and Thursday, Oil or iron is not bought on Saturday. It's baffling to see a sturdy and macho looking young man with a thick stubble uttering sheepishly that his mother has prohibited him to shave for that day!

Finding logic in this is rather simple. The superstitions which ask to not to do something on a week day breaks your monotony and burden of daily chore - say washing clothes daily. And the one's telling you to do a thing on a weekday encourages you to take up that activity at least once a week - say going vegetarian for a day. I think, instead of strictly (read fearfully) following this words, we should rationalize our living style, as was desired by our forefathers.

Dreams are believed to be one major indicator of the future happenings in our lives. Seeing various animals like snake, dogs, wolf, tigers, elephants, lizards, cats mean different things and accordingly they call for prayers or donation in temples.

Warding off the evil eye is one very interesting feature of Indian myths. Be it your house or shop or any building, your car or truck or any mode of conveyance and be it your child, everything has to be saved from evil eyes! Selling green chillies and lemons sewn together in a thread to shop keepers is a means of livelihood for many a people in cities. People tie cat's eye in their cars and black paranda ( black threaded hair extension used by women in rural areas of Punjab). Black scary face made on an earthen pot is placed on the facade of the building to scare away evil spirits. Similarly, black colour of kajal (eye make up) is used to make a dot on small children's cheek or forehead for the same purpose. Also, black thread is tied on their wrists, or near the ankle or around the neck, like a beaded string.

paranda

The idea of placing something black and/or ugly is to lessen the beauty of the thing or the person. I don't know whether it really wards off evil effects on that person or not??

Now after the preventive measure, there is also a whole gamut of corrective measure involved too. If a child is crying too much, then the first thing a mother would do is to take off the evil eye or effect from the child. I thought only ladies of my mother's generation did it, but surprisingly, it's seen in even the young and happening mommy's of this time!

Different people use different ways. The most commonly heard is to burn red dried and whole chillies after rotating it around the child's face and whole body. Of course, you have to burn it at an open place and have to run away from there, as the burning of chillies emanate a lot of smoke and cause burning in eyes. The myth is that the more the chillies crackle and burn, the more the child was affected!

Another simple method, I have myself practiced, though reluctantly and on insistence of my Mother In law is rotating a handful of salt around a child's face and body and then throw it in running water. The elderly ladies in my house have believed in this like they have believed in their religion. And a cranky and crying child would be often treated with this remedy.

I really don't understand the logic behind it.

What do you think about it? What superstitions you have followed or questioned in your life? Do you think there was any wisdom in the myths we carry along with us generation to generation? Have you ever tried to think about the possible logic about the common beliefs your mother always told you?

Let me know

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What Does Being Religious Mean To You?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 13:23:00 +0000

Ask my mother, and she will tell you how disgusted she feels that her daughter doesnot believe in visiting temples or doing Pooja (prayer) at home and worse she doesnot have a little temple or a place for pooja at her home.

I've grown up seeing a highly religious mother who would wake up at 4 am to get ready and walk down to Kalka temple on weekly basis despite her being a working woman. She would spend a lot of time in the home Pooja room ( a small room for prayer) every evening. Her salutation would be no less than the name of the deity she is devoted to. Come Navratras and her visits to temple would increase and her time of prayer (including Aarati singing) would increase manifold. She would come out of the prayer room, offering us, the poor children with some 'Charnamrit' (Literally meaning - holy water which has washed the God's feet) and some prasad ( sweet which was offered to God first).

She would take me along to the temple, which has a huge following in New Delhi. As a kid, it was tough for me, as I had to wake up at 4 or 5 am, take bath and get ready in winter mornings to go to the temple. And mind you, we were not supposed to eat anything.... means just anything. We must pray with a pure mouth, must not consume anything before that. After offering water, tilak, flowers, lighting a diya (earthen lamp), prasad (sweets or fruit offered to God) and head bow or else prostrating before all idols (and hope u know there are 330 million Hindu dieties and a big and established temple would have idols of around 10-12 deities minimum). By the time, all the offerings have been made to all the Gods and Goddesses, it would be the time to do the collective Aarati.

All this would take around 1 to 2 hours, and I would be dead hungry by then. Needless to say that if i complained, that would elicit the wrath of my mother, so I would keep my mouth shut!

Today, at 36 years of age, and being a mother of two, I have still not imbibed the religious ways of my mother, and for that matter of my mother-in-law and my sister and my neighbour and my colleague. I am a misfit here. My mother had been telling me again and again how important it is to have a small temple in home, and how equally important it is to light a diya (lamp) every day. Initially, I felt terribly guilty for not being able to do all this, not even to pacify all the old ladies of my house. But now, I just know I cannot and have no regrets.

For me religion is not lighting that diya, it's not singing that Aarati, it's not fasting for the diety, it's not visiting a temple, it's not going on a pilgrimage, it's not even placing the photo of your diety on your kitchen, or your car, or your study table or your home temple. It's beyond all this. These are just the rituals, just the method to remind yourself of the power.

I don't think there is any point visiting a temple through the VIP pass, VIP gate or VIP ticket (u can buy them by paying some Rs 1000-2000 in big temples). I don't think God would be happy with you when you haggle with the poor rickshaw puller for 2 or 5 rupees after giving donation of 100-200 or 500 rupees. I don't think it's worth getting pushed and manhandled just to stand and pray in front of the big idol of your God. There are long, really very long queues outside the well established temples all over India and people wait for hours altogether to get a glimpse of their deity. Having faith is something pious and I respect it, but simply following a ritual without giving any thought to it... is somehow beyond me.

I'm not saying that people who throng the temples go there only to see the idol of the deity, but there are people who go to experience the immense power, to feel the collective energy of thousands of people's devotion. Some go to meditate in peaceful temples. If we begin to segregate the mere ritual from the real devotion and real connectivity with God, we will begin to see the worthlessness in the temple thronging act of our countrymen. Every year, we read about people dying in stampedes in religious processions, or temples or in queues leading to temples. Is it worth losing your life only to visit a place of worship, while God resides within us... around us.......in the human beings He created? I wonder.

My Observation on Religion And Society : There is something strange which i had been noticing for a few years about the co-relation of a person's financial status and the religious practices he follows.

I realized that the poor section of the Indian society spend more money on buying pooja articles, giving money (dakshina) to priests for the rituals. They spend a big amount from their earnings on festivals and marriage/birth/death in the name of religion giving out money or food or clothes to others (mostly priests). People working in cities go back to their states or villages for such religious and ritualistic practices thereby spending money on commuting and buying new clothes etc.

In contrast to that, middle class or upper middle class strata of Indian society (especially urban population) won't care much about the ritual which makes them spend money. In most cases, we have found some short cuts to rituals. Now, more often than not, the short cuts are there because we don't care enough for them anymore rather than reasoning out as to why should we follow or not follow it.

So, the meaning of being religious is different for different people. What's your way of being religious? Do u light a diya, or a dhoop or incense stick, hum some mantra and begin your day feeling pious? Do you visit temples each time you go for holidays to any place seeking blessings of all the Gods? Have you ever questioned the ritual? Have you ever asked the meaning and significance of a ritual and then felt a disconnect in your heart? Have you ever asked yourself 'does God reside in the place of worship'? What's your way? Do share....

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Aarathi - (Aarati - is a kind of a religious song, sung in the praise of that deity. It tells about the various powers held, the many accomplishments made and thus praises the greatness of the diety) It is normally sung aloud together, with the priest taking the lead. It's accompanied by loud ringing of bells ( the bigger the temple, the more the bells), and rotating a big plate on which an oil lamp, flowers, fruits, sweets and incense has been placed. It is rotated in front of the idol of the deity, offering all the holy things to them. Later, the same sweets are distributed to all the people as prasad.

The Saora Origin of life Myth - Anugunj

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 07:25:00 +0000

'Anugunj' - a travelling exhibition based on myths and folk beliefs of India has been organised in the National Museum, Janpath, New Delhi

from 15 Sep 2011 to 11 Oct 2011.

To know more about the 'Anugunj' click here and on the pic below

Saora Origin Myth - See from top extreme left

The Saora Origin Myth originates from Shrikakulam, Andhra Pradesh (India). According to this, in the beginning, there existed on earth just two creatures- an eagle and an insect inhabiting a dried gourd. The eagle gave birth to the whole animal kingdom and the insect to the first man and woman who in turn bore two sons and two daughters. Out of the various tools fashioned by their father, the elder sons choose only the hoe and preferred the rock and his descendants came to be called the Saoras. The younger son on the other hand inherited the fertile soil along with all the implements, thus becoming ancestors to all other castes.

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National Museum, New Delhi - Anugunj

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 12:16:00 +0000

'Anugunj' - a travelling exhibition based on myths and folk beliefs of India has been organised in the National Museum, Janpath, New Delhi

from 15 Sep 2011 to 11 Oct 2011.

Here is a glimpse of the exhibition and the Museum in general:

The main entrance to National Museum

The path just outside the ticket counter leading to the main halls

The view of the circular corridor created in the middle of the building

Enlarge the pic to read the details about Anugunj

The entrance to the exhibition

A picture exhibited

Although, visit to the National Museum is absolutely worth it for any inquisitive person, but I was a little disappointed by the exhibition, which occupied only one large hall of the huge museum. I had expected a bigger and more inclusive affair.

In India, we know that myths, legends, folk lore, even superstitions are an intrinsic part of the day to day life - whether you are rich or poor, belong to urban or rural India, you can't be untouched by some belief.

Therefore, I had expected a more exhaustive list with a proper categorization - either chronologically, or region/state wise or based on broad subjects. But, it was a picture exhibition, with just 2 or 3 objects and all other pictures on display, and was not really categorized in any way.

Nevertheless, it was a unique effort. I hope that in the coming times, we may witness a more elaborate version of the exhibition.

I shall be posting all the pictures and the relevant myth or legend attached with it in the next posts.

Stay there!

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What do you mean by a 'Slut'??

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 08:28:00 +0000

I hope you remember that Delhi witnessed the much talked about 'Slut Walk' in July 2011. The title had some how been toned down by adding 'Arthat Besharmi Morcha' (means Shameless Walk). I think this was necessary. Keeping in view the societal norms, it was wise to clarify what was it all about.

It's good that technology is being used to garner support for a common cause. It's technology which is spreading word far and wide. But, we must try and customize things as per our society, our cultural sensitivity.

Although I support this or any cause which talks of a good social change. But in the same breath, I don't think the word 'SLUT' had anything to do with it.

As you know that it started in Canada, where a police officer said in a speech to university students "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized." It was surely unfair on this man's part to make such a comment, as he put the whole blame on the girl who doesn't dress appropriately.

What is the appropriate dress?

Isn't it different for different countries? Forget about countries. Even within a country like India, where the urban- rural divide is so huge that we cannot bring out a uniform code. Now this whole issue gives birth to a few questions.

Secondly the use of the word 'slut' doesn't hold the same meaning here in India. It's meaning and perception is derogatory and could have been avoided.

Having said that, i checked the meaning and am writing my perception of the word also.

"A promiscuous female is sometimes pejoratively called a slut, while a promiscuous male is glamorized with names such as 'stud', 'ladies' man', etc"

Do you see the contrast? I'm sure you do! This is the first reason why 'slut' could have been avoided. The fight could have been on not being looked down upon by the society, in case a woman chooses to have intimate consensual relationship with men.

My perception of the word 'Slut' - was a 'prostitute'. I'm sure many readers would agree that if they didn't check up the dictionary, they would believe that slut means a prostitute.

For this reason as well, the word must have been avoided. Because, even a prostitute is in a profession. No girl can be in such a profession out of choice, rather most often than not, she would be forced to sell her body for money, which may be needed by her family. So before carrying placards or making your body a canvas to write "SLUT" on it, it's better to think about it first. Are you not insulting another set of women, in order to achieve your goal?

Thirdly, what I've understood of the the whole scenario is that "slut' word has been used to first soften down the meaning, by making it a slang. What purpose does it solve, I wonder? We all know how the word 'bitch' has lost its derogatory tone in last 10 years or so. It was shocking for me 2 years back to hear two giggling teenager girls calling 'bitch' to each other. We now know, it doesn't hurt that much.

Are we trying to do the same to "slut"? Can you find any reason? let me know!

Fourthly, I read the views of an author that, the shock which is intended by using such a word in our conservative society is intentional. It's a rebellion of the social nature. When you want to shock your people, you do it by doing something weird. Remember that young girl of India, who paraded in her undergarments to the police station to report about her in-laws who were harassing her?

Somehow, it didn't shock me. It kind of left me thinking that a little more indigenisation could have been done to the word 'slut' for this walk against the social evil of blaming the victim as the catalyst of the crime thrust upon her.

I support the cause wholeheartedly. And I wish that this article may be read when this event is organized in other places in India. If possible, pl share it.

RESTLESS

'Afterwards' - The story after THE end

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:38:00 +0000

I just finished reading this book called "Afterwards" by Jaishree Misra, while lazing around on my break from work for a few days. I don't really write a review of a book, but do want to write about it in my blog.

'Afterwards' is the story which begins when we have happily concluded one. 'Afterwards' begins where the flow of a river pours itself into an ocean and we believe it's all over; the journey of the river is over. But, then we get know it's not... this novel is the story of the journey afterwards.

The story:

A simple and beautiful woman Maya, deeply unhappy with her possessive and well to do husband, wants to run away from this life and seeks support from a young man who has just shifted to her neighbourhood. Rahul, the young man whose love for Mridangam brings her to Kerala for vacation (and of course he wants to give himself a breather from her breakup from an non-understanding girl friend). Smitten by the beauty of his neighbour, Rahul can't resist spending time with Maya and her little daughter Anjali, visiting monuments and eating together. But soon, he realises that the beautiful eyes bore deep sadness within them. Maya's husband was too possessive for her comfort, so she wants to run away along with her daughter. She was helpless as she had no support from her parents or parents in law.

Rahul, after initial confusion, agrees to help her and takes Maya and Anjali to UK, where he was working and settled. Maya was disowned by her parents and her death rites were performed by her parents. But, away from the preening eyes of their Indian relatives and friends, they lived together happily in UK. Maya and Anjali adjusted to the new life easily and Maya began to work for an NGO for women. They lived happily....... ever after.....I wish they lived liked that forever. But the story begins at this point.

No, there is no conflict between the two, neither Maya's husband nor Rahul's mother landed up there to be a spoil sport. But destiny turned their world upside down. That is what the story 'afterwards' is.

My thoughts and opinion :

There are just two things which disappoint me about this novel.

First, the story- which is hardly a reality in Indian context. And second, a woman author speaking from the character of a man, which didn't do any justice to it.

All in all, this was like a beautiful fairy tale! A fantasy of a young girl tied down by the social and moral bondages, who chooses to set herself free in her imagination. This story can give hope to any Indian girl, suffering in her marriage helplessly that there is a 'Prince Charming', who will come one day and take her along to a new, unseen and wonderful world.

It was very simplistic of the author to think that a man would ever think of eloping with a married woman with a 1-2 year old daughter, and that too when the lady has no money or jewellery or a degree to support herself and on top of all that when the man is not even in love with her!

First of all, running away with another man's wife itself calls for a lot of courage.... or stupidity. And since when possessiveness and possessiveness alone is cruelty in Indian marriages? May be the Supreme Court says so, but the ground reality is that with women being more competitive now a days and men still standing where they were 10 years back are generally possessive about their women, say it or hide it!

And parents not supporting their daughter if she wants to leave her husband.... sounds familiar, right?! Yes, that happens all the time... in the huge bungalows to the small rented houses, that happens always.

Had Maya taken the legal course, she would have been better off.... even time proved that.

Secondly, as I said, when a woman speaks from a man's mouth, she generally does not do justice. A man's thought process, perception, expressions, ways of expressing love, calculation in practical matters and reactions to situation is far different from a woman's. It goes without saying. I felt all the time that it was a woman speaking with that hoarse voice of a man!

Was it intentional or by error that the author forgot to tell the reader how and when Maya fell in love with Rahul? How a possessive husband suddenly fizzled out and never ever tried to find her wife... and became a lamenting grief stricken weak man? How could Rahul, who ran away with someone's wife thought that he could actually nurse his anger for the poor husband, as he was 'possessive' about his wife and 'doubted her' too much?! Or was that he defense mechanism?!

Things, first were not seen from Indian society's point of view, where eloping with a man doesn't entitle you to any right to be angry with anyone, no matter what. A girl has shamed everyone, if she just runs away like that. An educated woman like her could have fought for herself, instead of running away. And second, about the style of writing, it should not have been the recollection of thoughts by a man when the author was a woman.

Overall, a very touching read... it melts your heart.... keeps you connected with it. It weaves the story very well, giving full chance for all the characters to make a mark in the story line. You can't finish reading this book without shedding a tear or too!

take care

RESTLESS

PS : Thanks friend for lending me this book for so long!

That Girl In Yellow Boots

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:17:00 +0000

Just watched the movie "That Girl In Yellow Boots" (TGIYB) which basically was a Kalki Koechlin movie, directed by her husband Anurag Kashyap. I have to tell that I missed the first 15 minutes of the movie after getting stuck in the bad Delhi traffic. I had already read about it and then quickly caught up with friends about the story line.

Kalki Kochelin

I never write movie reviews, because I don't think I have any expertise in doing that. I don't have the expertise to comment on some one's labour of love!

I only write about how I felt about watching the movie and afterwards. Well, to begin with, I feel I went with huge expectations (doesn't mean that they were not met at all) I think, thankfully, the Indian audience is getting the taste of some refined delicacies. Earlier, one had to classify movies as "Art" or "Masala" to know what it would be like. But now, there's a mix breed of movies, a completely new genre of movies which are narrated from the point of view of an ordinary urban man or woman ; which not necessarily be big budget but will move you with its honesty of expression.

I have written about the movie "Dhobi Ghat" and I feel this movie TGIYB falls in the same genre... the amalgamated form of story telling and movie making. It makes you look at things as they are, how they are and where they are. They bring out the filth and dirt on the large screen without being labelled as a documentary film or an art cinema. They just show things and stay away from preaching anything to the audience.

The movie is based in Mumbai ( Please some one make movies on Delhi ! It's versatile in texture and feel). The story revolves around a poor girl searching for her father in India, working at a massage parlour (and you know what that means.... in Indian context), falling in all wrong hands and getting exploited by everyone. You face a big shock at the end..... you are left asking questions... there are too many unanswered questions in the movie.

Watch it for the good acting of Kalki. She has done full justice to her role in the movie. Avoid it if you are salivating by seeing the Censor Board's "A" on it because there's nothing for you there. Expression was symbolic mostly, so wasn't really vulgar except for a few terms used.

Another that struck me is that she has been portrayed as a very courageous and determined girl. But the brutality of the world around has been shown in dim light. She could have suffered badly, worse than what she faced now. But surprisingly she was spared by a lot of trouble possible for a single and foreigner girl in a big merciless city.

Also, a few questions which am not able to find any answer are lurking in my mind... as to what stopped her mother to tell about the abusive father, whom she came searching to India? So I can say the story was not very very well spun, but definitely a class apart from some of the bollywood no-brainers!

The movie brings to the fore certain societal issues, which I don't think are very relevant to Indian society. It talks of incest. Now, I don't think incest between a father and a daughter is common in Indian context. Familial ties and bonding and above that the basic set of moral responsibilities still act as a dominating factor even when parents and children and siblings share close and cramped living space in India. So, somehow I felt this was a foreign element to Indian scenario.

Overall, a good movie for the one's who like to watch something less entertaining and more meaningful. But honestly, I'm not awed by it! Or may be I expected a lot lot more from it.

RESTLESS

Stray Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 07:33:00 +0000

I was clueless as to what should be the title of this post.

To begin with, I wanted to write why I have gone quiet, in blogging. But the happenings around us affect us so much (especially when it is a bomb blast in your city) that I can't stop myself for speaking about it.

Delhi experienced yet another bomb blast yesterday at the Delhi High Court, the heart of the city area and at a time when the security was already there due to the Parliament session. But no avail for the common man. The bomb ripped through many lives and many families. The pain is indescribable. What does a common man do? Should he learn to live in fear, constant fear... not knowing whether he'll return to his home safe in the evening or not? There were a lot of discussions going on, on the TV yesterday. I really wish something concrete comes out of the discussions, debates and statements issued.

My heart goes out to all the innocent people, common people like you and me who lost their lives and or got injured due the bomb blast yesterday.

Coming to myself, I am experiencing the phase of my life when all I want is to be quiet. I don't want to speak, or express what I think or feel. At times in life, you have to be really silent to hear what others are saying. Or may be, I should say, at times, you want to sit down and analyze as to where are you heading? what are you up to? how correct you were in your choices and more importantly, how correct you were in following a certain ideology for leading your life? Now is the time for me. I'm in doubt... about my beliefs, belief systems.

I think the best way, I think, a person can deal with this mental state is to - speak to a friend, get a clear and honest feedback. Second, to slow down and pull out of the situation which is troubling you. And thirdly, do some self analysis, and if that hurts a lot, rejuvenate yourself by things like listening to music or reading good books or anything which soothes you.

I'm undergoing the phase, which I've gone through earlier too. I'm questioning myself and unlearning a few things, to make way for something new to be learned. So, I know, it's toughening me and sculpting me for better. Better - only to make me fitter to survive in the world where it pays to be fake and street smart. Although, this is surely not my destination, but I guess, I'll HAVE to pass through this stretch.

Have you ever questioned your choices? your beliefs? Have you ever felt forced to evaluate as to what went wrong when your intentions were not bad in dealing with a person or a situation in personal life or in work life?

Do share your honest thoughts...

RESTLESS