Mysore Musings

2011-10-15T21:26:00.002+05:30

I'll be the first to admit it. I was staring at the main shala homepage waiting to see a note that said "no fearing, you come". It didn't say that, so I closed the tab.

Five minutes later I went back. No message, so I closed the tab.

Five minutes later I went back. No message, so I closed the tab.

Five minutes later I went back. No message, so I closed the tab.

To be fair, this usually begins months apart. Months become weeks, weeks become days. And of course, minutes become minutes. It is that one year itch mark. Very itchy.

I just did it again.

It is good to be stronger than the itch. Hold out long enough to see that one can carry on without outside forces — even if for just a minute.

*thumbs twiddling*

Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity | Video on TED.com

2010-05-29T17:14:00.003+05:30

From the talk: "And what I have to, sort of keep telling myself when I get really psyched out about that, is, don't be afraid. Don't be daunted. Just do your job. Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be. If your job is to dance, do your dance. If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed, for just one moment through your efforts, then "Ole!" And if not, do your dance anyhow. And "Ole!" to you, nonetheless. I believe this and I feel that we must teach it. "Ole!" to you, nonetheless, just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up."

Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity | Video on TED.com

From TED.com: Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk.

The Six Poisons (Quote of the day)

2010-04-13T15:24:00.000+05:30

The six poisons: A vital aspect of internal purification that Pattabhi Jois teaches relates to the six poisons that surround the spiritual heart. In the yoga shastra it is said that God dwells in our heart in the form of light, but this light is covered by six poisons; kama, krodha, moha, lobha, matsarya, and mada. These are desire, anger, delusion, greed, envy and sloth. When yoga practice is sustained with great diligence and dedication over a long period of time, the heat generated from it burns away these poisons, and the light of our inner nature shines forth.

This forms the practical and philosophic basis of Ashtanga Yoga as taught by Sri K. Pattabhi Jois.

KPJAYI.org

Guruji

2009-05-18T21:06:00.000+05:30

I'm living in a tiny New York apartment in true bohemian style with books and pictures from floor to ceiling and an occasional nic-nack nestled here and there. Over time it becomes part of the landscape and I stop noticing all the little bits that make up the whole. But yesterday as I was leaving the house, I paused for a moment and stared at a picture of Guruji. It was like opening my eyes under water, watching the bubbles go up and a pebble slowly float down. Time kind of stopped and it was me and this image and just thinking about this monumental person.

And then this morning, we've all heard: Guruji has passed away. I'm not sure what there is to say except that this practice has changed my life. I am who I am because of the teachings of this amazing person. The short moments I was lucky enough to spend with him were beautiful and full of joy. Thank you, Guruji.

A time for change

2008-09-09T06:15:00.003+05:30

I'm going to spend some time on the private route. Might still write here. Not sure yet. This is a trial run.

www.ashtangainspired.blogspot.com

If you would like to be considered as a reader for my private blog, email me at mysoremusings at yahoo dot com. Yes, I plan on being selective. Yes, you should write me an essay double spaced justified and 12 point font on why I should consider you as a reader. Finally, my chance to put you, the sometimes anonymous reader on the spotlight - ha ha! Oh the power! :)

Do you remember?

2008-09-08T07:12:00.004+05:30

"For the Brain, Remembering Is Like Reliving"
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/05/science/05brain.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."
-Aeschylus

"Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow."
-Tobias Wolff

"An angel has no memory."
-Terry Southern "Happiness? That's nothing more than good health and a poor memory."
-Albert Schweitzer

Yoga Sutras of Patanjali:

1.5
Vrittayah pancatayah klishta aklishta: Thought-forms are categorized into five varieties, of which some are painful and others are non-painful (neutral).

1.6
Pramana viparyaya vikalpa nidra smritayah: These (the categories) are: Correct knowing; Incorrect knowing; Imagination; Sleep; Memory.

1.11
Anubhuta-vishayasampramoshah smritih: Memory is the recollecting or retaining of previously experienced impressions.

Don't bug me

2008-09-08T06:33:00.002+05:30

It is getting harder and harder to write at the moment. Partly I don't know what to say and partly I feel to self-aware to say it. Looking back at last year's entries during month two, I see a similar pattern. Things start to get very internal where language starts to disappear. Or maybe now I feel differently about the whole thing. I don't really want to share things with everyone, just a few people...

So then, what does one write about when you want to share something personal but can't spare the details? Bugs. I can write about bugs.

We have an ant problem in our house. (Is it really a "problem"?) We followed the ants from the grains shelf to a few different possible entry points. My roommate poured muesli over his pancakes only to be disgusted by the multitude of ants crawling in out and around the oat clusters.

Last night on my way out of the bathroom I spied a second cockroach. I couldn't bring myself to kill it. I looked at it, it looked at me. I wonder where the little guy was headed...

I'm covered in mosquito bites from head to toe. Not even the bottom of my middle toe was spared. I now have maybe the shortest practice in the shala--or so it seemed--as I found myself in the women's dressing room all alone with the breeze and the mosquitoes. There I was in shoulderstand variations waving my arms like a mad person at the mosquitoes that buzzed around my head. I read in National Geographic that 1.) mosquitoes know the target they are heading for from an impressive distance 2.) hot, sweaty, lactic acid infused post-vigorous exercise bodies are their favorite victims.

I tell myself that I am going to withdraw my senses, that everything is God, that if I don't acknowledge them they don't exist. But then I hear the buzzing become louder and louder and I can't hold it in any longer so I swat and swat and swat.

PS-Again, yesterday in conference, Sharath emphasized that part of the practice is reading yogic texts. Specifically, he said it was a good idea to start with the Bhagavad Gita.

More lessons from the monsoon--when it rains, it pours

2008-09-07T19:14:00.005+05:30

Oh my god what is that?
I'm leaning over my friend's toe with a "sterilized" needle digging in an open wound.
I think that's glass!
I get the little needle under the glass (or possibly clear plastic) and behind the flap of skin, straight into the pink gooey open wound toe flesh and out it pops.
There is a reason why you don't see anyone driving when it rains. She was riding home full speed ahead to get less wet I suppose. She knew there was a speed bump before the chip man and after the sweet stall. But this time she forgot. She hit the breaks and kept her hand on the accelerator and this time the mix of the wet earth with loose dirt sent the bike skidding and her flying. People came out from under their monsoon shelters.
Madam Madam are you okay?
She got up quickly (anyone read the bit on car accidents in Shantaram?) brushed off and got back on the bike.
Yes I'm okay I'm fine.
She looked down as she revved up and saw the blood running down her arms. But this one is a strong, independent woman, who didn't cry until hours later when applying the burning antiseptic powder to the open wounds. White powder all over the room and she cried.

what to do when you aren't being a pretzel--paint!

2008-09-07T15:58:00.003+05:30

This whole week has been a blur. Between visitors and -- and I'm not sure what, I don't really remember what I did yesterday. I forget how intense practice is here. I think that oh it is just a couple of hours, but when I am ready to start winding down by 3pm, I see that even if I don't notice it, I'm working very hard.

Besides morning asana practice, cooking meals, running errands, etc., I am also taking painting classes. Here is my article on my experience for the September issue of Living Mysore Magazine. It hasn't been published yet...

Besides the freshly baked breads and massive coffees, breakfast at Santosha means dining in a room surrounded by beautiful traditional Mysore paintings where Hindu deities dance and recline in colorful backdrops sprinkled with 22-karat gold leaf detailing. I see a poster on the wall indicating that, yes, I too can learn to paint in this unique style. Count me in!

Classes begin two days later on Monday. I'm given all the supplies I'll need to begin (a pencil, pencil sharpener, eraser, and drawing pad), chai, and apple muffins. Anand, our teacher, draws a one petal lotus and instructs me to fill the page with the same. After the ninth or tenth try, he laughs a bit and gives me something else to sketch. Just like this we learn, line by line, detail by detail, until we are ready to learn something a bit more challenging. I now know that when we say "Mysore style" it isn't just asana practice but painting too. And even without my yoga mat, I see that this too is a yoga practice. "You see him?" Anand gestures to Tomasz, the owner and chef extraordinaire at Santosha. "You should see him before painting! Any person," Anand continues. "After ten paintings will become much calmer."

Can painting really make such a difference? Can it really teach us as much about ourselves as our asana practice? As my friend and I learn to draw the more challenging hand and feet variations and I throw down my pencil in frustration, I see how similar the two practices can be. Anand puts his hands on top of my head and takes them away as if he touched a stove, "So much heat! Be cool." He smiles. As lotuses, hands, feet, and flowers slowly unfold on our notebook pages we see that like asana practice, things come slowly, slowly.

Painting classes with traditional Mysore painting master, Anand, are offered on an ongoing basis. The average time to complete a basic painting is about one month. All levels of students are welcome to attend. Classes are held Monday through Friday at Santosha between 12 and 2 pm. If you are interested in attending a class, simply show up during class hours to talk with Anand.

Visit Santosha's website for more information on painting classes and other events.

Samskaras/ My Conditioned Experience/ Batman

2008-09-06T12:20:00.004+05:30

I didn't know there were bats in Mysore. I thought those silhouettes of frenetically flapping wings were birds. I didn't give them much thought. My brain processed the thing that was flying as "bird" and left it at that. But then my friend jumped and yelled "bat". Until that moment, for me, bats did not exist in Mysore.

I'm riding on a scooter with my friend who just arrived and who kindly moves to the side when other vehicles come into the way. "You have to honk!" I shout into the wind. We're learning to drive like how bats fly--by sound. We're learning to define space and our position in a new way. We pass on the right. We honk when we are approaching. We move to the left when we are honked at. We place ourselves on a grid two honks forward and one to the left.

In this body and in this life I'm reminded/realizing that I have to remember to listen for the honking. Where I am in space changes and can always be different and new. There are things I never thought were physically or mentally possible that I am now doing. On a physical level I know that means something but it is on a mental level where the interesting stuff is happening. Is my body making the change or is it my mind? If it is my mind, then where is it taking me and why? I know we are working to the point of just observing, but right now I feel like there is so much happening like breathing and blinking that I have no control over and I'm just witnessing. Is this me doing this posture? Is this me lifting up? Is this me exhaling? Is this me as an intermediate student?

To be something do you have to believe it?

How to disappear completely

2008-09-04T18:38:00.004+05:30

Where to start? How about where it ends or where it is right now. Right now I have just consumed a delicious home cooked western-style dinner at Santosha which is a local Canadian-owned restaurant. (Yes, I do eat.) I'm using the internet at my new house which I have just helped to stock with stuff to make us all a bit happier--bowls, shower squeegees, laundry cords, etc. We're all hippie, live-off-the-land types that appreciate a good granola and so have vowed to make an honest use of this kitchen. I'm listening to a mix of Indian music and political speeches coming in from outside. These sounds are all coming from the commotion around the various makeshift temples that have been built over the last week in honor of a very special Indian festival. Apparently, Mysore goes wild this week for the Hindu deities Ganesh and his mom Parvati.

A few weeks ago a friend told me why we see little elephants representing Ganesh on all the vehicles. "You see, Ganesh stickers and statuettes are there to remove obstacles". But I digress.

So everywhere this week are images of Ganesh in all sizes--from freakishly massive to teeny tiny. I've heard that many of them are made of materials that dissolve when submerged in liquid which is an answer to the baffled image I had in my mind of thousands of techni-colored elephants floating in various bodies of water around Mysore. (Part of the festival involves throwing Ganesh in the water.)

What else? Right now I am getting over a small cold (is it?) or maybe it is just a small case of back bending fever. Either way I'm tired and achy and irritable but this will pass. Just like the time. I've already been here for some time. I've already managed to not post for quite some time. It's funny how easily each day can pass into the other. Or how everyday I'm dancing on the line between avoiding myself and looking deeply into the mirror.

I'm practicing earlier and earlier and it is getting longer and longer and hopefully I'm getting stronger and stronger. Or something like that. After at least a month here you start to notice how everyone is doing the same stuff you just did. And after this second trip I'm seeing how I've forgotten how new things were last time around. And even as much as I thought I could slide back in, there is so much that is still shocking to bear. It is much like jumping into a body of cold water. I know it is water and I know it is fricking cold, but I don't really know how to dissolve until I'm up to my neck and dunking my head.

Yoga made me do it

2008-08-29T20:23:00.003+05:30

I yelled and I apologized. I had the worst day and the best. I saw Grace bleed through a moment of connection with the universe in a Mysore hospital as a nervous doctor trembled with a needle making a hole too small for his eyes to see and his hands to handle. We came away laughing and smiling.

--Again the old me knew the new me needed to hope and plan and couldn't handle waiting one day more and I'm so glad I got the days wrong because now I get a happy heart and no goodbyes. --

We reclined side by side on cushions in the dark talking about feeling real human connection and the shadow of the trees outside danced on the wall to the music playing on the battery power. All we hear between our words is the pouring rain. I know it is a distraction. I know I'm running away from myself, but it is amazing and absolutely intoxicating and I'm going to fall into someone else anyway.

Everything is God

2008-08-28T08:33:00.005+05:30

This time I'm resting on my back and all I can think of is how amazing it is that I'm lying here. My friend told me that every day she wakes up and thanks God she is here doing this. I thought it was sweet but now I'm feeling it.

A while back before ashtanga I was in corpse pose at the end of a yoga class. I was lying there and feeling my bones touch the ground. I could feel my organs and my flesh and all I could think about was how this is decaying and before I know it I will be dead.

This time I'm thinking about life. How amazing it is to be lying here. My legs work my arms work. I am alive. And even the stupid crap that pisses me off is pretty amazing. Thinking about God or Goddess or universe or whatever makes you think about how much whatever is happening is so small so insignificant and at the same time, it is all that ever existed.

Sharath is amazing. Assisting someone in supta vajrasana is not easy. Usually you sit over their crossed legs and I always have a bit of a challenge applying the right amount of weight. Sharath walks over and places his toes on my shins and I drop back as he stands over me shouting and gesturing with his arms at people around the room. Something big, something small. Looking up he is a giant and I'm so small. It ended with "Bakasana".

In bakasana, you balance on your hands with your knees on the backs of your arms and your knees bent up toward your rear forming you into a little ball. In the second variation of the posture, you have to jump into this position.

So after I get bakasana I'm on my mat thinking about how amazing this is and thinking about God and all that feeling life is this incredible joyous experience. I walk outside. I sit on my bike. I forget how to stand. I fall over and the bike falls with me. The guy with the pushcart that sells oranges laughs. The woman cleaning the driveway of the salon gasps and takes her hands to her cheeks. I laugh and get up and wipe mud off my back. In the end I'm just this ridiculous clown and some falling is just what I needed.

Getting crazy with bakasana:
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=abBwccUCFEU

A good spot

2008-08-27T12:08:00.003+05:30

The first class of the day starts around 4:30am. You get a practice time of maybe 4:45 or 5 but everyone knows that means 4:30 if you want to be able to get "your" spot. That's right, the space you like gets permanently assigned to you by Patanjali. Yeah, I'm definitely joking. People get really possessive with their practice spaces. Me? I like to move around. Even more, I like being in the later classes where you take what ever space opens up. I'd like to think that fate picked that spot for me today, thanks. It just has a nice sound to it.

Today I was assigned the space in the back corner next to the dressing room. I thought this would not be fun because I imagined the hoards of people that would be marching in and out of that door. Actually, it was nice. It made me focus even more. My last pose today was my new pose: supta vajrasana. In Supta Vajrasana (which means sleeping or supine thunderbolt pose), you sit on your mat with your legs in a lotus position. Then, you swing your arms behind your back and catch your toes. Someone holds your legs down and you lean back and put your head on the floor behind yourself a few times with some breathing. That's it.

Saraswati came and sat on my legs. It seems funny that someone could mess up sitting on your legs, but believe me, there is a proper method and Saraswati had it down. Here is a clip of Guruji assisting someone in Supta Vajrasana at the 2002 Ashtanga Yoga World Tour in New York.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=j2-ga9Zgv94

What day is this?

2008-08-26T11:40:00.004+05:30

Shattered-- that's how I feel. I somehow made it to the dressing room to do my finishing poses. I slapped down my mat and reclined. My eyes open, my eyes closed, the room spinning. I wonder if this is how a broken piece of glass feels. It is the same thing, only now in a different form. My back is split open like a nut shell like a orange peel, like a pomegranate, like an exoskeleton. Yes, that's it, I feel like a lobster. The room is still spinning. What happened in there?

Some people say that the pain will come and go. Some say that it will increase over time. Some that it will decrease. This pain is an indication of change. I'm changing. Growing pains. But is this really pain? It feels more like a train stopping abruptly. Or like when the ocean pulls you under. Or a deck of cards being shuffled. I'm not in pain, I'm just overwhelmed, I'm just trying really hard, I'm really just changing. There are no words for any of it, just confusion and experience and then already almost a month has past and I don't know what exactly I have been doing this whole time. I know time is passing because tomorrow is supta vajrasana.

parampara

2008-08-25T09:14:00.003+05:30

"Don't break my back," Sharath laughs. Funny, but not. Everyone knows he has had some back pain problems the last year and I just jumped back and gave him a big kick as he sat helping the person behind me. I'm looking over my shoulder in upward facing dog feeling guilty but also laughing because Sharath is laughing too.

Yesterday in conference--Sharath holds a "conference" every Sunday where he either discusses a topic or he answers students' questions--Sharath spoke about the tradition of parampara in Indian culture in general and ashtanga yoga in particular. Beginning with a story of a teacher/student relationship, he went on to discuss the importance of the transmission of direct knowledge from student to teacher in ashtanga yoga. He spoke about the authorization and certification process and that, really, people who come to Mysore and really are here to do the work, are here to learn the nature of yoga--which is the realization of the self. So, when we aren't practicing, he said to read read read. And if you still have time, volunteer...

He emphasized that we are all here to learn and to practice and that whether you are weak in body or mind or both, with time the practice will help to heal you. In that spirit, he joked about the shala's own "application process", how it's like "oh, nice picture you come". He said that so many people come and really they don't send anyone away no matter what level or state they are in and that he doesn't regret it one bit. His saying this really affected all of us because we all kind of looked inside for a moment and thought about how none of us are perfect and we are all trying our best, but so are the people who we might not think of. Everyone "deserves" to be here, everyone gets a chance. It's funny how he always seems to address in conference whatever people are talking about in the community.

Coordinate 12° 18′ 0″ N, 76° 39′ 0″ E

2008-08-24T08:01:00.003+05:30

Across from my house there is a little manicured park. It is surrounded by a fence that I haven't yet crossed. There are bushes and trees with a Victorian aesthetic sprinkled sporadically on the green grass. A path follows the perimeter and morning and night Indians in ones or twos march with purpose around and around. Normally I accept the park as part of the landscape and it just fades into the rest of my backdrop of India landscape but sometimes I stop on my way down the stairs and notice just how green, how dewy, how beautiful this little park is. This morning there was a woman wrapped in a sari sitting on a bench with her fingers and hands pressed up into her face. She was performing a kriya (a yogic cleansing exercise) in the middle of the park-- in public.

Earlier than that I walked down the road to practice. Parts of the road are dirt, parts are paved. Sometimes it is quite muddy and my slippers flick mud up the back of my legs and shirt. Stray dogs trot in packs and the air smells strongly of cow poop. This is before the sounds of birds chirping. This is before the sound of sweeping and slapping clothes against rocks. It is before people start honking and vendors push rickety carts of plastic bags, fruit, blankets down the road. It is before the smells of miscellaneous burning objects mix with masala, onions, and dung. It is dark and it is quiet and when I look up, I can see the moon and stars peeking through the palm trees.

I am in the middle of led class today and I can feel myself practicing, the person next to me, the person behind me. We are chanting the opening mantra and I hear myself squeaking beneath the whole room of voices. The whole world exists where I am looking: the tip of my nose, my foot, my hand. It extends to the people in my peripheral vision and we're all breathing and moving together. I realize that I'm moving and not moving because Sharath is telling me to. I'm located here in India right now. It is still weird.

You have to surrender/ Sharath interview

2008-08-23T12:00:00.004+05:30

There's a line in the sand, a divide, between those who don't mind the squat toilet and those who do, between those who insist on toilet paper and those who don't, those squatting for their shower and those brushing their teeth with bottled and filtered water, those who eat the street food and those who bring their own coconut straws. How much of experiencing India is letting go? How much of it is excepting the circumstances? How much of it is storming ahead? How much of it is adapting? Where is the divide between becoming Indian? Pretending to be Indian? Orientalizing the experience? What about becoming the ugly American? How much do we have to try and how much should we just be ourselves?

Some people avoid Saraswati*. She is very nice and loving, but they don't want her helping them. There are many reasons that people give as to why but I don't subscribe to them at the moment. I only get adjustments in back bending and in the past I've had moments where I looked into her eyes and pleaded for an easier variation (just up and down and then hands to the floor instead of to my legs). The thing is that if she were my dance partner, we'd be stepping all over each other's toes. She'd be leading but I couldn't count her steps. So I'd try to lead but she'd reinforce that she was the man, etc. But now I see that I'm getting stronger and that I'm starting to think that I understand what she's trying to tell me and it is working. People complain that she let's go of them when she grabs for their hands and they're arched backwards dangling their arms on the brink of collapse. I've realized that OMG I can stand by myself! Amazing!

The other day after conference I saw her sitting in the office and something told me to go inside. I didn't know what I was going to say but I had this really overwhelming emotion about how people would avoid her in class. I asked her if I could sit and then something came over me and I started blabbering.

"I just wanted to say thank you and this week you've been helping me in back bending and I feel like this big opening..." I might have kept blabbering but the sound was blotted out by the sobs. I started crying and gulping air. She looked at me with her big gleaming eyes and smiled. I asked myself what the muck just happened? as I stepped out of the door.

*Saraswati is Pattabhi Jois' (Guruji's) daughter. She is in her 60's and teaches at AYRI (the shala) alongside her son, Sharath, who is the director. She has her own class in the "late" morning and assists Sharath in the "main shala" classes.

Recent interview with Sharath
I just read this really great interview by Guy in New York. I really recommend reading it.

Monsoon

2008-08-21T17:10:00.004+05:30

When it rains in Mysore we just don't go anywhere and it's nice because I don't have to worry about being late for anything. Sometimes I pinch myself to see if it is true--if there really isn't anywhere I have to be or anything I have to do. It's interesting how easily I've accepted this new scenario and how I still find myself feeling somewhat surprised just once in a while.

I suppose one could say that a good amount of rain should be expected during monsoon season. However, based on last year, I didn't expect much this time around. I was slightly mistaken. It has been drizzling on and off about every other day. The sky looks more like the skies of Scotland than the technicolor blues in the "Jungle Book" (the Disney version of course). The guide book says that this means clothes that never really dry and emit that moldy strawberry smell, intestinal bugs, mosquito bites, malaria. The make believe "ashtanga almanac" says this means achy joints, sore muscles, slowed digestion, and sleeping all day. I say it means raw chocolate pudding and movies but I'm no expert.

Rooms bathed in melancholic weather, cups of chai, and clouds of incense are good places for contemplation and with all the recent events in the ashtanga community, there seems to be a good bit to think about. Some though bubbles I've seen floating contained:

-Are you here just for the practice or do you expect to get authorized?
-If you're authorized, can you sustain a healthy income just by teaching Mysore?
-Is the authorization/certification process fair?
-Is "the practice" only the asanas and if not, how far does it extend into our everyday dramas?
-When studying in Mysore, where does one's native culture end and India's begin?
-How do we honor a tradition while maintaining our every day lives?

I'm not sure that there are any right or wrong answers to any of these questions but I do think it is a good opportunity to evaluate or own motives, thoughts, and intentions. It is always good to ask "why".

The truth is that this tradition as we know it is still very young in the large scheme of things and we're all still trying to work out what it means.

Sharath hasn't really talked to us students yet about the "changes" to the studying process (6 month minimum between trips), the auth/cert process, or the transfer of content to the ayri website. However, in conference this week, he touched upon the cultural implications of studying in Mysore by emphasizing the importance of the yamas and niyamas.

(From wikipedia)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raja_Yoga

Yama

Main article: Yamas

Yama consists of five parts: Ahimsa (non-violence), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non-stealing), Brahmacharya (celibacy), and Aparigraha (non-covetousness). Ahimsa is perfect harmlessness and positive love also. This removes the brutal nature in man and strengthens the will.

The scientific basis of the Yama instructions may be explained in this way.

The five directives of Yama lay down behavioral norms as prerequisites for elimination of fear and angst and contribute to a tranquil mind. Nonviolence (ahimsa), truthfulness (satyavachana), non-stealing (astheya), child-like behavior (brahmacharya), and moderation in setting goals (aparigraha), prevent situations that evoke fear in human interactions and contribute to peace of mind.

Ahimsa (non-violence) helps to avoid conflicts with fellow human beings that normally occur because of competition for eating and mating. Hurting a person physically or mentally leads to fear of retaliation which disturbs peace of mind.

Satyavachan (truthfulness) helps peace of mind by eliminating fear of discovery of lies. Untruth implies maintaining two versions of an event, possibly in the same set of neurons, thus causing confusion and mental disturbance.

Astheya (non-stealing) eliminates the anxiety of discovery of theft, potential reprisal by the owner and/or punishment by state. Brahmacharya (celibacy or stage of life devoted to seeking knowledge) averts conflict associated with search for mates, eliminates fear of strife, enhances scholarship and upgrades equanimity.

Aparigraha (moderation in setting goals) prevents angst of potential failure, promotes self-control and poise.

Niyama

Main article: Niyama

Niyama is observance of five canons: Shaucha (internal and external purity), Santosha (contentment), Tapas (austerity), Svadhyaya (study of religious books and repetitions of Mantras), and Ishvarapranidhana (self-surrender to God, and His worship).

He who practises meditation without ethical perfection, without the practice of Yama-Niyama cannot obtain the fruits of meditation. Purify your mind first through the practice of Yama-Niyama. Then practice regular meditation. Then you will attain illumination.

Science underslying Niyama can be presented as follows.

Niyama unlike Yama prescribes mental exercises to train the mind to control emotions: (Saucha), (Santosha), (Tapaha), (Svadhyaya) and (Ishwara pranidhanani).

Saucha (Purity of thought) requires active monitoring of the mind from being obsessed with material or corporeal desires.

Santosha (Contentment) prevents desire to obtain, experience and /or accumulate objects of pleasure.

Tapaha (Austere or ascetic life style), by practicing self-denying and austere life style controls fondness for desire-generated emotions.

Svadhyaya (Study about self) enlightens the true nature of human nature and facilitates healthy thoughts.

Ishwara pranidhanani (Surrender of ego to God) makes it easier to be not self-centered by aiming at higher goals.

Thus Niyama instructions prepare the mind to control animal (reptilian brain- generated) and human (cerebral) emotions.

A week in review: Poop, Poses, Sharath, Gommateshwara, Wild beasts, and Ayurvedic Massages

2008-08-20T18:56:00.006+05:30

Daily posts are better. A lot happens in a day and now I have to mush them all together. I am scrambling to catch up. But I'll try. This sounds like a long post but actually I get distracted and it starts to taper off at the end.

Poop:

There is that scary moment when you are about to crap your pants for real. You feel this curling cold sensation up the back of your neck. It's panic because you know that you could easily loose control of your bodily functions and be stuck cleaning shit out of your pant leg in about an hour's time. Your mind realizes that actually many of your bodily functions happen on their own and if you begin to doubt your ability to control them at this point, you're going to be in serious trouble.

I was farting these real stinky ones at a friend's house. He gave me a very large dose of wormwood extract and grapefruit seed extract because the farts smelled a lot like eggs which could mean giardia and the extracts will kill anything. I drank it down and started the walk home. What I didn't know was that this concoction was like the five point palm-exploding heart technique, five steps out the door and two farts later, I had a fart that was not going to be a fart at all. Gross but true. What's an India story without some dilemma of the bowels?

Okay so I knew I really had to go right away. So I walked faster and then the mind started going and questioning and I started running. I contemplated squatting in the bushes but the possibility of an unexpected meeting with a cobra kept me running. My bowels knew I was close to my house before anything else and a good punch in the belly had me sweating and running faster but running is tricky when you're about to crap your pants so it was more of a quick waddle...Let's end it there. I didn't crap my pants. The end.

Poses:
Yesterday I got parsva dhanurasana, ustrasana, and laghu vajrasana. Today I got a stamp of approval and also got kapotasana.

Sharath:
More on this later. But--apparently we're supposed to read. Imagine! Also we're supposed to be thinking more about the yamas and niyamas. But what are those? Hmm.

Gommateshwara:
Is this big ole statue that we drove a long way to see. We had to walk up the stairs--barefoot--to see it. Fun.

Wild beasts:
The zoo is cool. People are crazy.

Ayurvedic Massage:
Is nice.

So I think it is obvious that I need to be in a quiet space to write. Thanks for helping to shape this post John.

Preview/Letters home from the frontline

2008-08-20T11:50:00.003+05:30

Okay fine I'm back.

Here is a preview of what will come later today when I'm not under a 5 minute deadline commandeered by a pot of boiling beans...

-On how I almost shit myself--for real!
-New poses
-Sharath talks about the importance of the Yamas and Niyamas and *gasp* reading
-The world's largest penis? A barefoot walk up a big hill to see a big guy
-The Mysore Zoo and the other wild beasts of Mysore
-Another Ayurvedic rubdown

This and more coming soon :)

What to do

2008-08-18T07:55:00.002+05:30

The truth is that so far this trip has been me stepping in and then getting shook upside down by my ankles with everything flailing and change falling out of my pockets, etc. I'm questioning everything. Nothing seems real, everything seems real, nothing the way it was, and yet really clear that this is how is has always been. In short, as in practice, what has changed is me.

With this in mind, I'm doing a lot of thinking about what my priorities are and what they ought to be, what my intention is, and where I'm putting my efforts. It seems that one way to do this is to set fire to everything and then sort through to see what remains. Another way is to hold one object/concept in each hand and see if I can tell which is more important, more real, more valid, useful, and which isn't. This method is a little more challenging because we all get so attached to things we think we are--but really we are nothing.

Specifically, I'm going back and forth on what I'm doing here in India, studying at AYRI, my "career", Livingmysore.com, this blog, as well as some other things (or are they "commitments"?). So, this means that this blog in particular has an uncertain fate. I haven't made any final decisions yet, but because of this process, I've been absent from writing lately. I'm debating whether or not I'd like to go private as I'm pretty sure I want to keep writing. Tough decision though, considering I feel very strongly about sharing and access to information and all. Hmm.

Update

2008-08-15T08:16:00.002+05:30

I didn't die of rabies and neither did the dog (in case you were wondering). No. My absence is a result of something else. Call it writer's block if you like. I have nothing to write. Yes I'm here doing all my silly little India things, absorbing a lot, but a little bit unable to process at the moment. I'm still learning how to balance on two feet. Maybe I should just keep it simple.

Southern Star Hotel Breakfast Buffet is tasty.
Sandhya's looked tasty but I was stuffed with the breakfast buffet.
Sandalwood factory sounds fun.
Lunar eclipse on Sunday so no practice until Monday.
Sunday's afternoon conference is canceled on account of the moonday.
I'm reading "First there is a mountain" but can't get into it.

There--that's a start.

On nothing at all

2008-08-12T11:39:00.002+05:30

I haven't been in to practice for the last few days but I suppose that technically, every moment is practice. I'm riding the scooter which is so much fun and always questioning what is really me and what is conditioned. Yes, that was me drinking coffee at breakfast the last three days. Yes, that was me on the right side of the road but mostly I've got the left thing down (it is a lot less strict than hand differentiation).

I've reached the end of my dizzying catapult into this new place and am now starting to make out the edges of all the boundaries. Like where I end and where nothing begins. I'm starting to realize that there is no other lump in the bed besides my pillow and that the loss of human connection is a hole that is not easily filled. I'm beginning to remember the spoons. I want this month to go quickly so that you'll arrive sooner, but I want it to go slow because this is all the time we have.

Tomorrow I'm back at the shala and I feel like it is where I'm supposed to be (naturally). It just makes sense. I feel like I have no say in what happens from day to day but have all the say in what I attach. Or maybe it's just the altitude. You know who you are.

Scooty's are for girls

2008-08-11T12:04:00.002+05:30

So I have a Kinetic.

"You have licence?"
"Oh yes, international."
"But you are riding?"
"First time."
Head wobble/smile.
Head wobble/smile.
"Helmet?"
"Okay okay--tomorrow."
Head wobble/smile.
Head wobble/smile.
Done and done.

It is a little bulky, a little old, a little toy-like, but I'm having fun. So far, me and the Kinetic have had an oil infusion, a visit to the mechanic, new spark plugs, a couple of kick starts, an unreliable gas gauge, and a finicky start button. I feel like I'll be an expert soon enough. Plus I think I have an extra advantage considering I got my crash course in Indian scooter driving from an Indian. "So when do I honk again?" I ask over and over. "Whenever anything is moving?"

It isn't so easy learning how to ride with a passenger. It makes it much more challenging for the beginner to balance the weight. "Do not get a motorcycle," my teacher tells me. "I can tell you that 100% you will fall." One has to appreciate the honesty. And here I am almost a week later wondering how I managed to ever do without. The fun part? It is easier to balance the faster you go...