The Mystery of the Male and Female

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE WOMAN 2 ? From the manuscript the mysteries of the woman! by Segun Meleki All Rights Reserved ©

2010-08-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

WHY DO WOMEN DO THAT?

I started asking questions from the girls; I remember a young girl told me “we ladies are not wise that’s why we keep getting deceived” another told me, “we don’t like to face the truth we know, we prefer not to deal with reality, so far the guy keeps up the game” I don’t believe women are not wise, I met a lot of smart ladies smarter than the guys messing around with them.

Matter of fact the two highest IQ's (intelligence quotient) ever recorded (on a standard test) both belong to women. Just that when it comes to this relationship thing most just act in a way I consider dumb.

I also felt that reality is stronger than the pain you suffer because of self delusion I thought the pain is such that should snap you out of it. When it comes to a woman, relationship with the man a good number just seem to loose it, their mind seemed to get suspended and enveloped by blind emotions. I observed

I remember talking to a young lady who had such an aversion for men, I thought it was amusing. You simply dare not tell her you love her or want to go out with her, she goes crazy. I asked her why, she said based on what her sisters and cousin kept telling her about what they were going through in their relationships with guys, she thought they must have lost their minds to put up with such misery. She couldn’t imagine herself going through it. She imagined if she ever said yes to a guy she might loose her mind as well.

I kept asking women questions, never getting a satisfactory answer until I met a mature Christian woman who gave me the most important breakthrough light on the puzzle as to why women give men permission to mess around with them, because a man cannot mess around you without your permission.

wanted to know why a lot of the ladies I met in spite of their intelligence kept acting a dumb when it came to dealing with men. As far as I was concerned it was not that difficult to sift the lies if you really wanted to.

She said “my son any lady that does not have Jesus cannot be wise” that was a breakthrough thought, although it still leaves a lot to be answered, the quest continued.
I spoke to a young woman about the power of a woman’s body over a man’s mind and desire and she compared it to the power of a woman’s desire for relationship with the male.

Later certain issues came up in my Christian walk that will bring the woman question to the fore and I will start asking the right person- God.

As long as I wasn’t born again my relationship with women was clear, the marriage was out of the question, now that I was born again, the issue I thought I had dealt got revived in that my idea about resolving it contradicted the rules of engagement with women as a Christian.

All of a sudden the question of what should be my personal relationship with woman became complicated. Now I couldn’t have a convenient relationship with them based on my terms or rules of engagement.

The rule of engagements now is on God’s terms and that created a inconveniences. Having a “convenient relationship” with a woman out of marriage was out of the question. I thought it’s either I get married and faced what I saw in my family or I don’t and deal with sexual temptations that come from being celebate, as a Christian, my solution of convenient relationship with the woman is no longer feasible.

The problem with this option (marriage) was that apart from the fact that I really couldn’t see any reason why I should pay the price of commitment to maintain a relationship with a lady, Based on my previous experiences with them, women add nothing to a guy as far as I was concerned they just for guys convenience.

Besides judging by what I witnessed in most marriages, and its challenges, marriage is the last thing I want to enter into simply because I want to acquire what I consider a mere convenience. Marriage tended to turn what I call a convenience to an inconvenience. Marriage as far as I was concerned was an inconvenient way and an unreasonable price to pay for a simple convenience.

Secondly there came a strange period in my early Christian life when as it were, there was a ferocious attack of lustful thoughts on my mind. It was hard being around a lady. I began struggling with my faith and my desires.

But my faith was precious to me and no woman was going to take it.
I had experienced women and am experiencing God, the difference was clear. Nothing compares to God. The joy, the peace, the hope, the pleasure, the security etc. No woman ever gave that. No woman is going to take that.

A new hatred for the woman came upon me. As I battled the lusts trying to stay pure, I kept remembering how women have always been the downfall of men who wanted to be holy and concluded they were Satan’s tool to destroy men who truly wanted to be holy and serve God, I thought about poor Samson, David, Solomon and countless others.

So one day on the university campus whilst I was a student, I developed a brilliant idea on how to deal with the woman question, in my heart I told myself I was not going to witness to any woman, I was going avoid them as much as I can and flee every “appearance of evil” to avoid temptation. With the woman around, I thought, it’s not that difficult to recognize evil.

I remembered what someone told me about a belief in his religion that women were gateways for Satan and that they were necessary evil, that each time a man wants to meet with his wife sexually he had to lay his hand on her forehead and say Satan I close the gates you will not enter my life through this gate. I couldn’t agree less, after all Satan got Adam through Eve.

I thought what a wonderful place the world would be with men who truly wanted to serve God, if God had not made “the mistake” of creating the devils ally; the woman. As far as we know, all was fine until Eve came along and now every body is paying.

I remembered a sticker I had seen before becoming a Christian, the sticker read “God created man and rested then He created woman and nobody has rested ever since”, now faced with the struggles within me the content on the sticker came to me with fresh revelation and reality or so I thought. I started thinking of ways to avoid these evil called women.

The problem is, it pretty hard to avoid what you are trying hard to avoid, especially when they constitute the other half of human race, all of a sudden they seemed to be everywhere, I couldn’t believe it women where everywhere! Especially when you were on a campus as I was then.

To deliver myself from these lustful thoughts as a younger Christian, I left the university campus went to a Christian camp and embarked on a three day dry fast. Not eating or drinking for three days just to be delivered from lust.

I thought it was over until I got back to campus and boy, the strong desires was still there. I returned to a Christian camp and embarked on another three days dry fast not eating or drinking anything for three days praying to the developed from temptation; I mean women.

Boy I still wasn’t delivered.

God must have been watching my stupidity and decided to help me. First God made me realized I was the one with the problem; and I didn’t like what God thought about what I was facing, I thought I was the one trying to be holy and solve the woman problem or the problem they were giving me. God made me understand that I was the one that had the problem with lust and I needed to clean my heart. He said;

Titus 1:15 KJV
15 Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled.

That I needed to deal with the speck in my eye that made me see women wrongly. Ouch! That was humbling.

I also learnt I needed to stay in the word, and that victory over sin comes by grace and mind renewal all of which comes through a deep relationship with God’s words.

I had a problem and I needed Him to deal with it, there was nothing wrong with the woman. I began to pray for God to renew my mind. The Holy Spirit thought me a prayer “Lord let me see a woman the way you see a woman.

Job asked God

Job 10:4 KJV
4 Hast thou eyes of flesh ? or seest thou as man seeth?

When you see as a man sees you react like a man will
When you see the like God sees you respond like God in purity and love
It’s all in the renewing of the mind and having the mind of Christ.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE WOMAN 1?

2010-08-12T00:14:00.000-07:00

From the manuscript the mysteries of the woman! by Segun Meleki All Rights Reserved ©
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A woman is a mystery and “Only where revelation is known has woman her due place of honor assigned to her”.—Easton's Illustrated Dictionary.

Like most young men, I discovered womanhood or so I thought at a young age, it was a discovery that only reinforced men’s tendency to view and use the woman as a mere tool of amusement and nothing more. I lived in suburban area of my city that was just developing where everybody kept indoors so I really knew nothing significant about the woman until I went to spend holiday with some relative in a densely populated low income area of my city.

It was a shocking difference. It was a heavily populated neighborhood that never seemed to sleep. You saw young gals and guy just hanging out strolling. It seemed the only thing young guys did was chase the girls.

One day, one of my older relatives dared me to run after a girl who was strolling by and toast her meaning try to catch her as my gal. So I went after her to show that I was a man and equal to the task. I never realized then, I was being initiated to the world of men’s relationship with the woman where men chase women for sport. It was an unconscious thing but one thing was clear to show you are a man you have to win a girl.

So I went after her as I strolled briskly to catch up with her, calling her for quite a while with no response, I drew closer and she turned suddenly to face me. For the first time I realized I was confronted with a prey for which I had not developed hunting skills; I experienced heart failure coupled with mind blackout, I was intimidated, I didn’t know what to say I started sweating, I never been in this situation before; never toasted a girl before, what was a guy supposed to say?

“I, em … I am … my brother asked me to call you” was all I could manage to say. Trying to back out of the challenge as honorably as I could quickly imagine.

She looked intently at me and said “tell him I can’t come”

I can’t remember other details but I was glad to end the chase and move away from that embarrassing quest. When I got back to the house everybody was waiting for the report all smiling. “What happened?’

“I ..ah talked with her “
What did you tell her?

I can’t remember what I said but I remembered telling them she was impressed with whatever I said and that she promised to come visit me.

The more mature amongst them said, “She just posted you” meaning she won’t come.
I said I was sure she was going to come.

That was my introduction to womanhood. All of a sudden, I have a big task to prove am a man, and that by capturing a girlfriend. I have to develop hunting skills and the prey has been identified, the woman.

I had discovered the woman and she was a prey. Just like most men, women hunting is a favorite past time of majority of men. For most men as they mature though, their relationship with the woman may become moderated, it still isn’t one where the woman is treated with the honor, sensitivity, love they deserve. In worst cases men abuse the woman often using and neglecting her.

If I was misled by other men in my discovery of the use or purpose of the woman, the women I related with only added to my error. If I believed women were toys, the ladies only conformed what I thought. As I encountered the women, I was amazed at how simple they could be when it comes to relating with men.

As a non Christian I really couldn’t articulate any tangible influence or transformation the various relationships I had with girls had on me as a person. As far as I was concerned my relationship with women was pretty much one of convenience and fun.

That’s the message most ladies sent. I was often amazed at the trivial things most of theses girlfriends were rather concerned with, fashion, parties, shows, fun etc. Yes I was a fun loving yet quiet guy, yet I was interested in more valuable things.

I valued intellectual stimulation, poetry, prose, books, knowledge etc. Unfortunately most of these girls just seemed not to be interested in anything serious in life except being serious about being in relationship with a guy.

Then one things was apparent in my relationships with most females; girls are just things you relate with for fun period. That is the impression most of them gave and that is the way the media and society portrayed them. The idea of having a serious commitment to a lady was simply unthinkable.

I basically had little or know personal value for relationship with women. That side of my life was pretty much settled, ladies like most guys believe are for sport.

On the other hand, I was shocked that what I thought was sport was a pervasive desire and reality for them. I had thought that everybody understood that the male-female thing was sports and fun nothing else. But I discovered it was not as simple as that for the female, it was something she held to her heart. I thought making a big deal out of what I thought was a joke was stupid on the part of the women.

I never liked deceiving a woman really beyond the idea of simply saying things that will help me in win her; saying the right words telling her how beautiful I thought she was.

I always avoided telling the girls I loved them because I didn’t. I thought that it clear that we were just having fun. Unfortunately, I discovered most just wanted you to tell them what they wanted to hear. That you loved them!

My family
My dad was one of the best dads in the world although he made a lot of mistakes, I knew he was a great dad, unfortunately he was far from being he kind of husband that he really could be.

His marriage to my mum was bitter. Although he was a good dad, I never saw him attach any real value to his relationship with my mother. My mother was just of those things in his life.

Later he married another wife and was living in bigamy which really split the family. This also influenced my thoughts and attitude to women. I learnt it’s normal not to take your commitment to woman as a serious thing. Besides most men don’t.

I wondered why people got married in the first instance if all they do was quarrel, split up and despise each other, As a result of the bitterness in my fathers relationship with my mum, relationship with a woman was just I nothing serious for me. I always pitied people who were getting married because of the misery I was sure they were going to face.

I remember asking my mother why she had to put up with so much sadness during the marriage crisis with my dad, I told her to leave my dad she wouldn’t because of us like she said. I don’t understand why someone should have so much power to make another sad.

In my mind I resolved the woman question, I will have a “convenient relationship” with women and marriage was not compulsory. I discovered its much simpler and convenient going out with a girl than living with one. That was until I got born again and a new set of rules, reality and experiences revived the woman question.

After I gave my life to Christ the first thing I did was tell my girlfriends I was born again and broke up with them I never really loved or cared for them anyway breaking with them was routine, like dumping a toy for something serious. Curiously enough after some level of growth in my Christian journey; I began developing remorse for way I toyed with this girls.

I such compassion for girls and felt ashamed each time I saw the girls I had toyed with, sometimes I felt like running away whenever I saw them. It wasn’t as if I was cruel or abusive, I just didn’t care or took them seriously when I went out with them thought they gave me all.

REDISCOVERING THE WOMAN
As a young Christian, I started asking ladies why they allowed boys mess around with them, when all the time they could easily have sensed the deception and insincerity. I saw the way my friends talked about the girls in their lives, they never meant much to the guys, unfortunately the girls thought the whole world of them.

I just couldn’t understand why a girl or woman including my mum will continue to love a man who pays little attention to them. It beats my imagination and drives me crazy. It was something I wanted to resolve. I never knew what I sought to know was the outcome of a deep mystery that God will one day begin to unfold to me.

"Can't We Talk?" (condensed from: You Just Don't Understand) by Deborah Tannen

2010-08-10T00:42:00.000-07:00

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A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Would you like to stop for a coffee?"

"No, thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn't stop.

The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn't she just say what she wanted?

Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn't realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it's no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.

As a specialist in linguistics, I have studied how the conversational styles of men and women differ. We cannot lump all men or all women into fixed categories. But the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women play.

Whenever I write or speak about this subject, people tell me they are relieved to learn that what has caused them trouble - and what they had previously ascribed to personal failings - is, in fact, very common.

Learning about the different though equally valid conversational frequencies men and women are tuned to can help banish the blame and help us truly talk to one another. Here are some of the most common areas of conflict:

Status vs. Support.

Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.

I saw this when my husband and I had jobs in different cities. People frequently made comments like, "That must be rough," and "How do you stand it?" I accepted their sympathy and sometimes even reinforced it, saying, "The worst part is having to pack and unpack al the time."

But my husband often reacted with irritation. Our situation had advantages, he would explain. As academics, we had four-day weekends together, as well as long vacations throughout the year and four months in the summer.

Everything he said was true, but I didn't understand why he chose to say it. He told me that some of the comments implied: "Yours is not a real marriage. I am superior to you because my wife and I have avoided your misfortune." Until then it had not occurred to me there might be an element of one- upmanship.

I now see that my husband was simply approaching the world as many men do: as a place where people try to achieve and maintain status. I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as many women do: as a network of connections seeking support and consensus.

Independence vs. Intimacy. Since women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation.

When Josh's old high-school friend called him at work to say he'd be in town, Josh invited him to stay for the weekend. That evening he told Linda they were having a house guest.

Linda was upset. How could Josh make these plans without discussing them with her beforehand? She would never do that to him. "Why don't you tell your friend you have to check with your wife?" she asked.

Josh replied, "I can't tell my friend, 'I have to ask my wife for permission'!"

To Josh, checking with his wife would mean he was not free to act on his own. It would make him feel like a child or an underling. But Linda actually enjoys telling someone, "I have to check with Josh." It makes her feel good to show that her life is intertwined with her husband's.

Advice vs. Understanding.

Eve had a benign lump removed from her breast. When she confided to her husband, Mark, that she was distressed because the stitches changed the contour of her breast, he answered, "You can always have plastic surgery."

This comment bothered her. "I'm sorry you don't like the way it looks," she protested. "But I'm not having any more surgery!"

Mark was hurt and puzzled. "I don't care about a scar," he replied. "It doesn't bother me at all."

"Then why are you telling me to have plastic surgery?" she asked.

"Because you were upset about the way it looks."

Eve felt like a heel. Mark had been wonderfully supportive throughout her surgery. How could she snap at him now?

The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Mark thought he was reassuring Eve by telling her there was something she could do about her scar. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.

When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.

Information vs. Feelings.

A cartoon shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, "Is there anything you'd like to say to me before I start reading the paper?" We know there isn't - but that as soon as the man begins reading, his wife will think of something.

The cartoon is funny because people recognize their own experience in it. What's not funny is that many women are hurt when men don't talk to them at home, and many men are frustrated when they disappoint their partners without knowing why.

Rebecca, who is happily married, told me this is a source of dissatisfaction with her husband, Stuart. When she tells him what she is thinking, he listens silently. When she asks him what is on his mind, he says, "Nothing."

All Rebecca's life she has had practice in verbalizing her feelings with friends and relatives. But Stuart has had practice in keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. To him, like most men, talk is information. He doesn't feel that talk is required at home.

Yet many such men hold center stage in a social setting, telling jokes and stories. They use conversation to claim attention and to entertain. Women can wind up hurt that their husbands tell relative strangers things they have not told them.

To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, both men and women can make adjustments. A woman may observe a man's desire to read the paper without seeing it is a rejection. And a man can understand a woman's desire to talk without feeling it is a manipulative intrusion.

Orders vs. Proposals.

Diana often begins statements with "Let's." She might say "Let's park over there" or "Let's clean up now, before lunch."

This makes Nathan angry. He has deciphered Diana's "Let's" as a command. Like most men, he resists being told what to do. But to Diana, she is making suggestions, not demands. Like most women, she formulates her requests as proposals rather than orders. Her style of talking is a way of getting others to do what she wants - but by winning agreement first.

With certain men, like Nathan, this tactic backfires. If they perceive someone is trying to get them to do something indirectly, they feel manipulated and respond more resentfully than they would to a straightforward request.

Conflict vs. Compromise.

In trying to prevent fights, some women refuse to oppose the will of others openly. But sometimes it's far more effective for a woman to assert herself, even at the risk of conflict.

Dora was frustrated by a series of used cars she drove. It was she who commuted to work, but her husband, Hank, who chose the cars. Hank always went for cars that were "interesting" but in continual need of repair.

After Dora was nearly killed when her brakes failed, they were in the market for yet another used car. Dora wanted to buy a late-model sedan from a friend. Hank fixed his sights on a 15-year-old sports car. She tried to persuade Hank that it made more sense to buy the boring but dependable car, but he would not be swayed.

Previously she would have acceded to his wishes. This time Dora bought the boring but dependable car and steeled herself for Hanks' anger. To her amazement, he spoke not a word of remonstrance. When she later told him what she had expected, he scoffed at her fears and said she should have done what she wanted from the start if she felt that strongly about it.

As Dora discovered, a little conflict won't kill you. At the same time, men who habitually oppose others can adjust their style to opt for less confrontation.

When we don't see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: "You're illogical," "You're self- centered," "You don't care about me." But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from spiraling out of control.

Learning the other's ways of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step towards genuine understanding.

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THE CALL OF THE WOMAN 1

2010-08-07T03:56:00.000-07:00

God’s Mystery and Power Revealed in the Female

The woman in her primary call and design reflects the role and manner the Holy Spirit plays in the life of a Christian. The bible uses so many words describing the Holy Spirit to describe the woman.

There is something about the inspired sexuality of the woman that is designed to reveal and unleash something about how God relates with men, deal with issues in relationships and develops relationships.

Rom 1:20 KJV

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead;”

In being a woman, and an effective one, the woman has very little to teach her about womanhood, most time they try to fit into man's and societal definition of womanhood.You need to come to terms with your divine sexuality and let that be your guiding light in expressing yourself as a woman.

Thus the woman is given some of the functional qualities of the Holy Spirit (designed to mirror that of the Holy Spirits relationship with the believer) in her relationship with man. Unfortunately these qualities are being lost in women's relationship with the men. The woman bears the same name, ministry, nature and qualities the Holy Spirit bears in His personal relationship with Christians; Help, companion, good thing, comforter, life-giver, teacher, counselor, tender, gentle meekness etc. We will look at these uniques similarities later in "The call of the woman series"

To know your role and how you were designed to carry it out as woman take a look at the ministry of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer. Your true purpose goes beyond the natural uses man's ignorance of your divine purpose informs him of and which you are tempted to conform to.

The Divine purpose of the woman is revealed in the call of the woman and which every woman must wake up to if she will be liberated from the realm of the natural uses of the man, which does little to reveal her divine nature. The woman is not a domestic help she is divine help.

God spoke to my heart

A woman is a female who has undergone and is undergoing a spiritual process that fits her for effective and purpose driven relationship with the man. It is spiritual qualities revealed in human form that amplifies a woman's qualities and actually helps are fulfill are purpose and develop the kind of relationships she was designed for, rather than the emphasis women are wont to place on physical.

Her physical characteristics helps the natural man relate with her and vice versa at a level

but it is her divine calling and pedigree that enables her deal with and respond in a transforming way to the man.

Every nature of God is revealed in the things He created

Rom 1:20 KJV

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead;”

The bible says that God’s divine power and is revealed in revealed in everything God created. Thus it is understanding the mystery of the female which is created in God’s image and which the man is designed to respond to by way of influence and living in its light and purpose thus a woman rise above the lower use she is made subject by a falling society and man

Womanhood is a calling and primarily a calling to the man.

1 Cor 11:9 (NLT)

And man was not made for woman's benefit, but woman was made for the benefit of the man

Every calling requires preparation. Women seem to forget that. Women think womanhood is about attraction rather than function.

They face the temptation spending hours in the salon than the word and meditation. The temptation to frippery rather than acts that attracts the interests and commitment of men. Whereas the key to your call is the state of your inner man.

There is a correlation between the state of our relationships and our inner man.

Women imagine they are at their best when they look their best. That is the error of the flesh. You are at your best when you shine your light be revealing and being who God made you to be; by answering the call of God in relationships.

Your value is in your high calling in relationships. Like I said before, a woman without a sense of personal but divinely inspired mission or purpose in relationship is like salt without flavor she is good for nothing like the bible says but to be converted to the base use of men.

The bible reveals that the woman is made for the man and not vice versa. God is the man who made the woman for the man, only God has the true idea of what you are made for, quit asking what the man wants start discerning what God calls you to do in your relationship with the man.

You can make yourself the kind of woman a man wants to sleep with but you can’t make yourself into the kind of woman a man needs. God is the one who knows the needs of men and only God can fashion you into the proper and response men’s needs according to His purpose

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2010-08-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

Sanctified Sexuality of the woman.

One of the errors mankind lives by is trying to handle a mystery with human logic. God’s purpose in creating the woman is a mystery, the concept of the male and female by which God defines mankind and Himself is a mystery in that it connects to the very nature of God and his image expressed in us.

The Divine Nature of the Woman.

The essence of a woman is first spiritual and in this spiritual essence lay her mystery, power and influence. Her beauty and power the bible says is in the inner man. Her humanity helps her relate to the man but it is her divine calling and pedigree that enables her deal with and respond in a transforming way to the man and so develop inspired relationships with men

God was the first to introduce the concept of sex type as in male and female in describing and analyzing mankind linking our sexuality to His very nature. More than physiological differences apparent to us, or our attempts at socio- demographical classification. God seeks to reveal and express the dimensions of His own divine nature through our divine or sanctified sexuality one gender to one another. God is male and female, every word that describes God is a mystery even though it is expressed in creation.

Genesis 1:27 KJV

27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

God created male and female as mirror and expression of His image

The sexuality of Adam and Eve was integrated into entire lives and was meant primary to reflect God in their relationship one with another and in creation.

God designed the world in such a way that all things are to reveal his invisible, image, power and wisdom

Rom 1:20 KJV

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead;…”

Romans 1:20 (MSG)

“By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being…”

So what does the female aspect of God mean? That is the mystery God created the woman to reveal. That is the power and beauty that helps her connect effectively and in a purpose driven and well adapted way to the man.

However, since the separation of the woman from the man there exists a desire for re-connection between the different sexes. This really is often misinterpreted, misunderstood and so evidenced by misconnection and disconnection because of lack of knowledge as to how to connect. Since the fall of man and the antics of the enemy, wherein man has lost his identity in God’s image his interaction with the female have usually the resulted in error, abuse and sin.

The desire misunderstood really is a God designed desire for the manifestation of God’s image in each gender to the other. The female longs for the manifestation of the image of God as represented in the male and the male needs the manifestation of the image of God as represented in the female.

Rom 8:19 KJV

“For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.” KJV

Sons here does not exclude the female it actually means the manifestation of those who have grown to know and to reflect the very image and likeness of God they were designed to express. It simply means the mature children of God. Who simply by being who they were designed to be reveal a transforming knowledge about God and a sense of mission to creation as well as possess the power to restore creation as designed by God.

In Christ do we have the full expression of the image of God

Male and Female in creation

The female was designed to reflect, reveal, and express a dimension of God and so be the vivid expression of certain divine truths which is not revealed in the male. Just like our Lord was the expressed image of an invincible God.

Rom 1:20 KJV

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead;

God’s nature and power the word says are made known by the things he made.

Ps 19:1-4 KJV

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.

2 Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.

3 There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard.

4 Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.

Everything God made animate or inanimate speaks about God or is meant to reflect or reveal in different dimensions and to accomplish different divine purposes, how much more human beings who are made in God’s image. We were created to reflect God more accurately than the whole of creation.

Next we will consider "THE CALL OF THE WOMAN" and how having a deep understanding of her divine nature and sanctified sexuality is the actual key and power to fulfilling her most important purpose in relationship and releasing the full powers and influence of her design.
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God’s Glory is Displayed Through GENDER
WOMAN; THE FOOLISHNESS OF GOD…
WOMAN; THE WEAKNESS OF GOD...!
THE PECULIARITY OF YOUR SEX 2

WOMAN; THE WEAKNESS OF GOD...!

2010-08-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

GOD’S NATURE AND POWER REVEALED IN THE FEMALE 2

1 Cor 1:25 KJV

“… the weakness of God is stronger than men…”

Can you imagine that the bible talks about the weakness of God.

How do you receive a revelation of the weakness of God and how it overcomes men? Take a look at the woman!

“…Open your eyes and there it is! ²⁰ By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being…” Romans 1:19-20 (MSG)

"To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man's superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman?"

— Mahatma Gandhi

Romans 1:19-20 KJV

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead;…”

When a woman understand and lives in the nature of God in this regard then the woman’s strength is her so called weakness. In the woman, God reveals another dimension of strength that overcomes and confounds the strength of men or what men call strength.

Indeed there are certain battles in life that do not answer to the kind of strength men are used to flaunt rather, a different kind of strength is the key. That is one of the mysteries of the dimension of strength revealed in the woman in her relationship with the man. The bible reveals that the invincible things of God even his eternal power are clearly seen being understood by the things he has made. Every of God’s creature reveals His attributes, power, nature and wisdom.

It reveals how a woman referred to as the weaker sex and walking in the understanding and revelation of how God made her to function as a woman possess a disarming power that is able to overcome the strongest of men. Indeed the quiet yet effective power of meekness, longsuffering, patience, tenderness all regarded as weakness in dealing with conflicts in relationship between men have be known to be the most transforming power even of the most hardened of souls.

Love destroys your enemies by making them friends what a better way to destroy ones enemy by making them friends. The same mysterious power is used by God in turning the race of men who had become His enemies into friends destroying His enemies by loving us to his side. With grace patience, forgiveness.

Rom 5:10 KJV

10 For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.

Col 1:20-21 KJV

20 And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.

21 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled.

2 Cor 5:18 KJV

18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

As a woman you must learn to work in your God given strength and experience the same victory and mystery as God in winning over your loved ones.

Meekness is actually controlled or channeled strength which is constructive rather than strength without a leash which is destructive. A meek person has more strength than one has no control over his spirit. It takes more energy and inner strength to control anger than express it. It is God’s patient love, kindness grace, longsuffering that overcomes man’s rebellion than God’s use of his destructive powers.

When men deal with each other they are always on their guard and tend to compete, when dealing with the woman they tend to let down their guards because they always believe they can control the situation making them actually vulnerable to the woman. A woman walking in the light of how God made her to live has mysterious disarming powers.

As a woman you must learn to walk in the unique strength God has given you. Most of the issues you will confront in your relationship with the man will be overcome by that kind of strength, rather than natural strength or force which only brings the beast out of the man.

You are not designed to fight pitched battles rather you are into guerilla warfare hitting specific targets and the man is not even aware of what is hitting him. You are actually by-passing his befuddled mind speaking to his spirit (the God part of him which needs to be lightened to transform his befuddled mind) by your weapon of submission, patience, chastity, goodness, virtue.

A real woman is able to disarm the man, I have heard men say that when they start misbehaving and the wife does not reply in kind they often feel their conscience prick them and feel a sense of guilt.

Rom 12:20-21 KJV

20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Woman! understand your divine sexuality in your conflicts knowing what it is all about and who the real enemy is and what the actual victory means and will cost you. You are the weakness of God that overwhelms men’s so called strength. The higher battles of life are won by a different kind of strength revealed in you, besides the strength of God is made perfect in weaknesses, with you it ought to be natural for the man he learns weakness that activates God’s strength which he desperately needs after he see the folly of his natural strength against the higher battles of life

WOMAN; THE FOOLISHNESS OF GOD…!

2010-08-05T06:00:00.001-07:00

GOD’S NATURE AND POWER REVEALED IN THE FEMALE 1.

1 Cor 1:25 KJV

25 “Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men;..”

HOW YOUR SEXUALITY AS A FEMALE IS

DESIGNED TO REVEAL DIVINE SEXUALITY

God is not foolish, to men God’s wisdom looks foolish, Christ dieing on the cross looks foolish, how can God allow his creatures do that to him. The world says seeing is believing, they say the way to gain more is to keep getting, God says believing is seeing and that the way to gain more is give more. God’s wisdom is designed to confound men.

In your relationship with men, many of the things you will be required to do may look foolish but I assure you that is exactly what helps you overcome the wisdom of Satan and the carnal wisdom of men. Just make sure everything is done not out of selfish and blind desire but in understanding of God’s will. Experience the rare privilege of overcoming the wisdom and strength of men God style after all you were created to be like him and get things done His way.

Someone told me before he got born again he used to drink and keep late nights. Just to prove to his friends who were taunting him that now that he is married he is now under the woman’s rule. He deliberately continued to keep late nights hoping the woman will try to stop him so he can deal appropriately with her to show who was in control.

Instead of fighting him each time he got home she just serves him and took care of him. She removed his clothes and cleaned him up tucking him into his bed. According to him she was acting like my very own mother to the foolish things I was doing.

Ultimately he started calling her mummy. The funny thing was the lady was 19 and he was 29 when they got married. Besides that his friends and elders brothers started calling their own wives mummy following his footsteps. All because of a teenager who knew how to overcome the strength and wisdom of men by the goodness and wisdom of God. 25 years into the marriage he stills calls her mummy. Ultimately he got tired messing around got converted to Christ. Most women would have resorted to counter attacking such actions from the men often drawing out the defiance and combat spirit in him.

Another man told confessed that there was a time in his marriage he started misbehaving and keeping late nights. Each time he came home the wife will be waiting welcoming him with his food ready. He said “my conscience will not allow me to rest, it was my wife that saved me I would have been lost if it where not for her patience.”

Submission may look foolish but in the end you will win your man’s heart and you will be the mightiest influences on his choices.

Submission may look foolish but in the end you will win your man’s heart and you will be the mightiest influences on his choices. You end up controlling him. The narrative of the fall reveals that though man is given position and authority in male-female relationships, the woman is given the supremacy of influence in male female relationships, meaning the woman is designed influences the exercise of that positional and authority.

The woman was not given position and authority though we are equal. She is not going to get things done and fulfill her purpose and role by trying to fight the situation. In the same way who Jesus was much higher was not given authority as government when He was on earth and He submitted to earthly rulers even when He was unjustly treated.

It doesn’t make Him less than who He is by submitting, it actually enabled Him unleash the forces that helped Him play is part and fulfill His destiny in God’s plan.

A woman’s power is her influence what she can’t get done by discovering, developing and unleashing the power of her influence she can’t get it done any other way. A man can get things done by the sheer force of his physical strength, position, authority etc.

The bibles says that the men may be won by the conduct of the woman as they behold your chaste conduct.

The kind of challenges that comes up in your relationship with the man and the kind of influence God needs you to have to resolve it does not answer to the strength used in conflicts.

God's goal for you is not to win the argument or your right, rather it is to win and assume the place God’s created you to have on the man; his greatest influencer; to win his heart not just stimulate his mind.

The goal is to win the relationship and conform it to God's will by you playing your role.

One day I learn an important lesson about submission and strife. My Dad took a decision that was wrong. In a most respectful way I told him what I thought and insisted on it. He was furious, he felt I was challenging him. I felt bad as I went to my room and told God that I didn’t want to offend my Dad.

As I mediated on the incident, for the first time the word “strife” came into my heart with amazing revelation. The Holy Spirit made me understand that strife is when we insist as against another on anything and it only allows the enemy to operate using our flesh. See

James 3:16 KJV

16 For where ….strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

Only God can help the other see the truth not what we argue about. Strife prevents that; submission creates atmosphere for God to reveal the truth. It doesn’t mean you don’t speak your mind but you understand the power of God rather than yours to drive home the point.

You may want to see

MALE AND FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS WHO DOES THE WINNING 1 ?

THE PECULIARITY OF YOUR SEX 2

2010-08-05T05:21:00.001-07:00

Spiritual Peculiarities.

How your sexuality was meant to mirror and reveal Divine sexuality

How do you best express your femaleness? Most women tend to imagine that expression of femaleness starts and ends with being. Sexy, fashionable, and (classy). Well these are part of the how God creates a woman to express herself but really these cannot help achieve the primary purpose for which she was designed. It is grossly inadequate.

One of the reasons most women find it difficult to initiate inspired relationships with men is because they lack understanding of their sanctified sexuality. Yet it is only with such understanding do they realize the power, influence, beauty, purpose and reason for relating with the man. In the absence of which their relationships or lack of one with men is limited by that which their emotions and feelings dictate.

One of the wrong questions I have been asked by women is what do I, or what does a man want from a woman? I have always told those who ask such questions that the question will not give them the answer they need in their quest for fulfilling and inspired relationship with the man. The mysteries of the flesh, sin, the woman, human desires, make that question incapable of supplying the right answer. First there is difference between needing something and wanting or desiring something. Human desires are always changing and are never satisfied

Ecclesiastes 1:8 KJV

“…the eye is not satisfied with seeing , nor the ear filled with hearing…”

Like Solomon found out having sampled every kind of woman he desired, the key to fulfillment is not in going after or getting what we want or desire but in knowing what we need and living for the purpose that creates those needs. The key to fulfilled desires is purpose and the pursuit of purpose.

Solomon who by the way should know better, having sampled over 1000 women hinted that one among a thousand women he really was hard pressed to find the difference. That’s why he kept researching the female specimen. To the natural man it all adds up to this, the knowledge revealed by his natural use and engagement with the woman rarely changes from what he has already known. They are different roads leading to the same destination i.e. for a carnal man who only has a natural use for the woman and for a woman who has no understanding of the call of a woman.

Eccl 7:27-29

27 “Behold, this have I found, saith the preacher, counting one by one, to find out the account:

28 Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.”

When you are not who God made you to be, no matter what you try to become, beautiful, sexy, fashionable, whatever for the man, it simply puts you in league with others. Limiting the expression of your womanhood to trying to be beautiful, sexy, fashionable without understanding divine concept and expression of womanhood only leaves you in the long line of pretty, sexy faces.

29 Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions.

KJV.

For Solomon as well as for most men, women are simply different ways of arriving at the same destination somehow they are tempted to keep trying. It’s like trying to eat the same kind of food using different dishes it don’t change the taste does it? The glory of the flesh is the same. The one addicted to drugs, and the one addicted to pornography are labouring under the same principle and error of the flesh. Addiction is perverted purpose or lack of one.

If you don’t apply God’s purpose in the use of a thing the flesh supplies you one. Promising to get you what your soul needs through what you flesh wants. Like trying to use ice cream to replace your bodies need for sleep. Insanity isn’t it? It doesn’t add up. For everyman in his lust for natural rather than inspired relationship with different women, the conclusion is, hey I’ve been here before.

Prov 27:20

Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.

KJV

The woman and her place in relationship to the man is a mystery to the man and the woman herself is the key to revealing this mystery- her mystery. Thus the challenge for the woman is to reveal and communicate a higher knowledge of who she really is and her call in relationship to the man than the knowledge which the man’s senses and the natural uses of the woman readily communicate to the man.

This is done by having an inspired perspective in her relationship with the man, a new sense of purpose in relationship with him, a conscious understanding of her being, her weapons and influence, and a deliberateness and sense of mission in her relationship with men. By doing this she is able to shape the mans relationship with her, and discern who she is designed to be in relationship with by measuring the fruit of her relationship with the man. By doing these she is be positioned to be successful at being a woman in God’s plan rather than man’s whims.

When a woman lives by an inspired understanding of her divinely designed role and in her relationship with the man, she can create or experience a fulfilling relationship with the man.

THE PECULIARITY OF YOUR SEX 1

2010-08-05T05:01:00.000-07:00

THE PECULIARITY OF YOUR SEX 1

We all have ideas or perception as to the significance or meaning of our gender or sex. It is more important to come to the understanding or revelation of God’s idea of your sexuality because that is what enables us to become who were made to be especially in our relationship with the opposite sex making us effective and helping us develop purpose driven and fulfilling cross-gender relationships. The significance, uniqueness, power, purpose and beauty of our sex is revealed when contrasted with the opposite sex.

Sanctified sexuality refers to the dedication of the expression of our sexuality in relationship with the opposite gender to the plans and designs of God in making the way we are gender wise, such that His image is reflected in our interaction with life and in cross gender relationships.

Why study your sexuality.

1. To be aware that there is a divine mystery, purpose and dimension to it. Mystery presupposes a secret that gives those who know it and advantage over those who don’t as well a serious confusion and frustration for those who don’t.

2. To help identify your strengthens and weakness

3. Helps us be an appropriate tool in the hand of God who made us that way (a mystery) rather than an object of abuse and misuses in the hand of men, who are fallen and ignorant and the enemy who lies and obscures the truth.

4. Helps us prepare properly for the future with a focus and understanding on why we were made the way we were and what we were meant to do because of the way were made.

5. Helps realize, develop deploy and have faith in who we are making us a standard rather than being conformed to man’s misconceptions about the actual import of your gender.

6. Helps you identify the peculiar traps, failures and designs of the enemy adapted to your gender.

7. Helps you realize how your peculiarities and abilities are adapted to your purpose and so help’s you effectively and deliberately connect with and identify those for whom your peculiarities are designed.

8. Helps you overcome the manipulations of men.

9. Knowing the peculiarities of your gender makes you aware of you strengths and weaknesses.

10. Develop wisdom and sense of purpose in your relationship with the opposite sex.

Peculiarities of the Female Gender

I have always told the ladies that they need to develop purpose and become deliberate in their relationship with men. I mean every man God’s brings around them. The woman was created primary for relationship with the man. Womanhood presupposes a calling to the man.

1 Corinthians 11:9 NIV

“…9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man…”.

1 Cor 11:9 (NLT)

And man was not made for woman's benefit, but woman was made for the benefit of the man

You may not be wife or girlfriend to every man but you are designed to be a woman, God’s revelation of womanhood to every man God brings around you when you walk in the light of what means when He made you a woman with the power to influence a man’s relationship with you (see the blog on who does the winning in male female relationships)

(John 1:9)

“..The true light lights up every man…” not just your husband

In considering the peculiarities of the female gender, we will look at the general attributes, character, quality, and vulnerability of the female gender as it relates to Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual dimensions of her personality and how she can best take advantage of her strengths and deal with the peculiar weaknesses.

MYSTERY OF BEAUTY 3 THE PARABLE OF THE ROSE!

2010-07-21T03:26:00.001-07:00

Our Lord always used natural things in parables to illustrate divine mysteries. The word says we should learn from nature to see how the power and wisdom of God works.

“But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! 20 By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse…” 21 Romans 1:19-21 (MSG)

Lets learn from the little rose by taking a thoughtful look at its power of attraction! Both to mankind and insects. What does a Rose do to be desired and pursued? Be a rose of course! It does not have to study what human beings desire, or the insect’s instinct, on the contrary human beings were designed with sight and smell to desire that which the rose was naturally designed to reflect. Furthermore when it is time for pollination, the rose merely gives a fragrance that the insect is designed by God to sense and be attracted to.

“For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made,…” Romans”1:20 (NIV)

From the wisdom of the rose; what do you have to do to attract the right relationships? Or do you still feel like asking “what does a man want?” to know what you need to do to be desired?

Well you might say the relationship and attraction of a rose and insect or human being is not as complicated as that of human beings. Well you complicated it. The rose has no mind to work against God’s designs on it. You have a mind that nullifies what God and His law of attraction writes in your spirit.

“I have discovered that God made people upright, but they pursued many schemes.” Eccl 7:29 (HCSB)

“Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions.” Eccl 7:29 (KJV)

Matthew 15:6

“thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.”

KJV

We all pursue our schemes and seek to reinvent ourselves in search of relationships. Without the light of God, we use the rules, schemes, psychology in our search for relationships.

THE MYSTERY OF BEAUTY 2

2010-07-21T02:05:00.001-07:00

Besides, a woman’s beauty doesn’t make other women ugly, meaning if it’s about what he wants and trying to be it, other women can do that, where does that live you? In competition? When all you do is make yourself pretty, you only put yourself in the position of being just another pretty face in a line up of many other pretty faces.

But no other can compete with God’s mystery of beauty in you if you understand it and walk in it.

Every single thing in life is made for another thing; therefore everything has what it takes to attract that which it was meant for. Your need and desires for right relationships goes beyond you, it lies at the very root of God’s purpose and design. When people don’t connect God’s plan is frustrated. We are made for relationships and relationships of every kind is the means through which God establishes His purpose on earth, yet we can’t force people into relationship with ourselves even God can’t force people into relationship with Him. Beauty is God’s principle or design, that connects a desire He created in one for the dimension of beauty He created in another.

When you begin to discover what beauty really means i.e. its effects, character, fruit, purpose and definition you will discover that though you can make yourself the kind of woman a guy wants, or wants to sleep with or even date, you can’t make yourself what a man needs and desires to commit to. To want something is different from needing it. Only God can make you what a man needs, which is the true source of unfading attraction and commitment.

As you will soon discover, there is beauty in everything God made but the beauty is in different dimensions, your dimension of beauty is in the particular dimension of attraction which God has put in you to be revealed by you and so recognized, desired and pursued by another. It takes the beauty God reveals in you to draw the desire of men to you in the way God designed rather than what you try to be to attract men.

Furthermore the different dimension of beauty is cultivated and expressed in different ways.

When a man looks at a woman there is so much he doesn’t see, there is so much he can’t see or is prevented from seeing, because of his nature and because of what he is looking at. There is difference between looking and seeing. Man basically forms or fails to form relationship with the woman based on what he knows or thinks he knows based on what He is looking at. Which is both wrong.

Rather you are meant to shape peoples relationship with you by revealing what they need to know.

Philemon 1;6

“That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.” KJV

Acknowledgment is an extremely important word here. According to the Vines Bible Dictionary;

It means the being brought to complete comprehension (Epignosis) after the first knowledge (Gnosis) i.e. being brought to a fuller, better acquaintance, recognition, discernment with something previously known; a more exact view of something previously held or known leading to a greater participation (.e.g) by (A) the knower(i.e. man) in (B) the object known(i.e. the woman) thus (object known(i.e. the woman) more powerfully influencing him (the knower) (A) the man.

In this case it is A that is transformed by the knowledge. Changing his attitude towards B because of what he has come to discover about (B).

B is always who or what she is, but until she effectively communicates who she is, A, will continue to see her and relate with her based on what A assumes thinks or previously knows about her. Everyone has opinion about everyone and so relates based on that knowledge but no one knows you better than yourself.

There is so much a man does not know about himself, his needs and you. The revelation of your true beauty is designed to stimulate the desire God buried in the man not for just you or a relationship but for the beauty God crafted in you transforming him. It will amaze you how you are best positioned to reveal his need for you and so shape the relationship based on God’s underlying plans and as you walk in it, in the situations God and life throws up.

Adam never saw his need for the woman let alone ask God for one.

THE MYSTERY OF BEAUTY 1

2010-07-21T01:48:00.001-07:00

WRONG QUESTIONS WOMEN ASK!

I was counseling a young woman on a particular issue. Strangely after the session she changed the topic and said “I want to ask you a question” “feel free” I replied. She proceeded and asked “what do you or …what do men want in a woman?

I sighed “that is a complicated question” I started “and it is not as simple as people think” I tried to summarize, thinking about how to give the real answer she desperately needed to know, rather than the information her question will fetch her.

I went on to teach her about God’s “mystery of attraction.” The conclusion was, if it’s about knowing what it takes to attract the right relationships, which is what she really wanted to know asking “what a man wants in a woman” is the wrong question to ask.

You don’t attract people by trying to know and become what they want. It only leaves you helpless, confused and exposed to the vagaries of man’s insatiable desires. . Yet the question is one I have been asked in one shape or the other many times before. It is a question most women have asked especially where they are not succeeding in their relationships with the man.

A woman was making a call at my sisters call center, she was raining curses on her husband after her tirade she hung up and asked my sister “in spite of how beautiful I am, this crazy guy is still messing around, what does he want? am I not beautiful enough? Funny question you would say? But that’s the irony of human concept of beauty, I can reel out an unending least of so called divas, whose husband still left them.

Well, I asked my sister if the woman was really beautiful and my sister confirmed she was indeed very beautiful. One can imagine the despair that comes from being and giving what you think a someone wants to attract them in relationship only to discover it is not enough to sustain the relationship.

When it comes to relationship and attraction and peoples attempt or failure to attract the right individuals, I notice people generally tend to ask the wrong questions. As a lawyer I know the key to arriving at the truth or right answer is asking the right questions. Asking any questions will give you information but the truth is actually what you need. The right question to ask

in seeking to attract the right relationships is not what the guy or woman wants, rather, it is asking and discovering what God has put in you that He made men to desire and pursue and so create relationships which lie at the very root of God’s plans on earth. You are the seed for every relationship God designed you to stimulate with His flavour in you.

Beauty is simply God’s law of attraction by which He creates and reveals in one thing a quality of Himself that another is designed to desire and pursue. So if you have something of God in you, you have what someone has been created with a desire for. What it is or the dimension it is revealed is another mystery. Consequently, you don’t become beautiful in the way God designed by trying to be beautiful for someone, rather you become beautiful by discovering and revealing what makes you beautiful i.e. what God created in you to be desired by the men in whom God creates the thirst for the qualities He crafted in you.

Beauty activates God’s purpose for giving you that beauty. Once you recognize it and walk in the line of purpose. God is the one who gives what it takes to satisfy every desire He crafted in you.

LATE OR DELAYED MARRIAGES WHO IS TO BLAME MEN OR WOMEN?

2010-07-21T01:36:00.001-07:00

That was the topic of we had in my church sometimes back at the singles interactive and it was explosive. The audience was divided into different sitting groups based on what they believe was the answer. Group (A) believes the gods(i.e economy and circumstances beyond mans control), are to be blamed and not the man or the woman, Group (B) believes men are to be blamed, Group (C) believes both men and women are responsible, Group (D) believes women are responsible.

Others believed every individual is responsible for the state their relationships. Some of us believe the matter is not as simply as that. So what do you think?

For group (A), they are like the economy and circumstances beyond man is responsible, in that in the absence of a good job, etc., its not wise to take on the added responsibility of marriage and children.

On the other hand, Group (B) especially the women in this group argued that it takes man to propose, if the man doesn't propose there is nothing the woman can do, further, they are like men are deceitful and as a woman you don't really know where you are in their heart.

The men in this group also opined that men are always looking for women beyond their reach instead of one at their level that no matter where you are as a man there is always a woman who will appreciate you and stick with even if it means sleeping on the mat with you. So for them the fault lies with men looking for women beyond their level.

Group © are like women can be choosy, and men are not ready financially. So the fault lies both ways. Group (D) are of the opinion that women have become materialistic, that women really are more interested in a guy who is financially ready. They also opined that most women are not willing to submit and that they have become carried away by career and education etc, interestingly it was the women themselves that said this.

Well I have my own opinion but one thing I observed no one tried to answer the question from a biblical perspective which I believe makes the submissions unedifying and an exercise in mental argument, blame calling rather than an attempt at discovering the truth. i.e Gods mind on this problem.
I hope to state my take on the issue soon meanwhile whats your take on it.

See this related articles

Is It My Fault That I’m Not Married?

MALE AND FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS WHO DOES THE WINNING 1 ?

MALE - FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS, WHO DOES THE WINING2 ?

MALE - FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS, WHO DOES THE WINING2 ?

2010-07-21T01:04:00.003-07:00

Before a man comes to initiate relationship or propose to a woman, the woman has already won him by her essence and conduct rather than words. By the time the man comes to the woman, he is merely expressing in words what the woman has done by her conduct and essence. It’s a truth women are vaguely aware of both don’t seem to fully grasp the power and purpose behind their God given power to influence the exercise of a man’s choice, power, authority and position in all things including the man’s relationship with the woman.

When woman are particular about their looks, dress etc they are unconsciously trying to exercise their God given power to influence the man thoughts, choice and relationship with them.

I remember asking a seven year old girl why she avoids eating certain kinds of foods she said “so that when I grow up I will have a good shape ,so l will get a man to marry me. That broke my heart because that statement was a mixture of truth and lie. 1st it reveals the truth that a woman has an important role to play in wining the man, secondly it obscures the truth about her God designed her to do it, limiting it to her looks. But that is another mystery I wrote something about that in my blog “the mystery of beauty” so I wont go into that now.

Unfortunately, women don’t seem to understand that the actual power of a woman to influence the man relationship with them goes deeper than trying to stimulate physical attraction, it actually lies in understanding the purpose of the woman in the male –female relationship as intended by God lining up with it, and being deliberate and inspired in her relationship with the man.

“Conduct in this sense does not mean actions calculated or targeted to bring men into relationship you in line with your preconceived desire, it is actually conducts inspired to influence men in line with God’s purpose for the man. It is helping the man become who God’s wants him to be and helping do what God will have him do.

1st Cor 11:9

“The woman was created for the benefit of the man and not the man for the benefit of the woman”

Until a woman is liberated from the manifestations of those actions which are designed to fulfill her desire for relationship with the man and comes into the inspired manifestation of those actions that reveal God’s purpose for making her the one most suitable to helping the man be who God made him to be, only then does she reveals her true beauty and power and influence as a woman.

A woman must distinguish between actions that are calculated to merely try to get a man to love her which is an act steeped in self and those actions that are driven by a sense of high calling and purpose. As a woman you have a higher calling. It is in this calling do you release the kind of influence and experience the functional and fulfilling relationships God designed you for.

“Basically a woman needs to the delivered from a desire driven relationship with the man as imposed on her by the realities of the fall, to a purpose driven relationship revealed in the deep understanding of God’s original purpose in creating the woman “for the man” in her interaction with the men. In this lies her power to attract and influence the kind of relationship and men God needs and designed her to bring into inspired rather than desperate relationship with herself”.

God gives us the seed and makes us the seed for every relationship He designed to us to develop, recognizing the seed and becoming the seed and understanding how God wants the seed invested to develop purpose driven relationship is the key to developing every relationship God designed and so empowers you to develop as a woman. Emotionally, spiritually, maritally etc.”

You may not be a wife to every man, or a girlfriend to every man, but you can be God’s the revelation of womanhood to everyman God brings around you.

Your primary call as a woman is to the man

1 Corinthians 11:9 NIV

9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”

Another translations actually says the woman was created for the “benefit of the man” according to God’s purpose.

Womanhood is a calling and a calling to the man!

Understanding the nature and dimensions of this call as well as the means she is given by God to carry out these call is key to bringing men into relationship with herself.

As spiritual beings we are all created for God but as a woman you are designed primarily to achieve God’s purpose with regards to the man.

“One day God spoke to my heart He said “ a woman is a female who has undergone inspired processes and lives in a way that enables her to function in her relationship with men and influence men in the way God purposed

Not every female understands or has gone through the process. Much like a baby girl is a female and holds no sexual attraction, functional relationship to a man (except perverts). Because she has not undergone necessary physical processes and cannot reflect feminine essence that stimulates and influences the kind of relationship that God designed to exist between male and females at least physically.

Very few Christian women have undergone the processes or manifest the essence that is divinely inspired to help them stimulate and develop the kind of relationship God designed them to develop with the men God brings around them.”

Very few women have an understanding of what God means by a woman. In the absence which most are forced to line up with the masculine and society concept of what womanhood means. It has resulted in a marked reduction in power of the woman to develop and influence the kind of relationship God designed the woman to have with men.

It is only by living in the understanding of your call as a woman does a the woman help a man acknowledge what he needs to know about you and himself and your value and place in his life in his life, transforming his relationship with you. The Easton Bible dictionary reveals an important truth in defining the woman it says “only in the place of revelation does a woman have her true honor”

The woman must walk in the light of who God made her to be not just what the man expects of her like the multitudes would have the Lord. Only by the revelation of her identity, original purpose and calling is she is positioned to heal the man’s mind setting him free by her truth.

Women must acquire the knowledge and subject themselves to the discipline that enables them switch from their preconceived role to their preordained role in creation. From what the society expects her to be and what the man demands of her, to what God designed her for. Because the 1st 2nd limits her and hardly fulfills her, whilst the third liberates her and gives her meaning value and purpose.

Men really have no clue as to the purpose of the woman in their relationship with the woman. Adam never felt the need for a woman let alone ask God for one. Only God knew what He saw and why He decided Adam needed help and that in the shape of a woman.

After the fall men have invited their base understanding of the use of a woman which unfortunately most women are tempted to pander to.

“Yet the woman was created with s divine purpose in her relationship with the man. It is only by understanding, this purpose and living in its by being deliberate and purpose driven in her relationship with the man does the woman develop the kind of relationship and influence God empowers and designs her to have with the man bringing the man to the kind of revelations that shapes his relationship with the woman.”

It is the woman that has the calling and burden of revealing the truths and exerting the kind of influence that are necessary in shaping the man’s relationship with her.

I have met a lot of wonderful Christian ladies and ministers who really have know clue about the call of a woman and so are successful in their relationship with men even though they are gifted and successful ministers.

It is not enough to be a successful gospel minister, career woman if you don’t, discern, train for, and become what God means when He made the woman, there is a gap in creation which your lack of form as a woman, or your success in career, or indeed any vocation or calling cannot replace.

Loneliness is caused by lack of purpose, once we all understand our purpose as men and women we will understand that our calling is to relationships of various shapes and services that empathizes our true essence.

Inspired Womanhood is not a passive thing it is active and activated by inspired purpose, abilities and calling...

MALE AND FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS WHO DOES THE WINNING 1 ?

2010-07-20T13:56:00.001-07:00

There is one error I women talk about most of the time, particularly when the issue of the marked disconnect in transgender relationships especially amongst Christians comes up. Women are wont to say “it’s the man who makes the first move, it’s up to the man to initiate relationships, so there is little a woman can do,” etc.

“First, this is not the truth, truth is a mystery, and to know the truth about anything is to know what God knows about a thing. For instance The bible word “see” or “to see” actually means to see what is actually causing or behind what you are seeing or sensing and to be “blind” is not to see beyond what appears to your physical eyes or what is actually responsible for what you are seeing or sensing. That was why Jesus kept telling the Pharisees that they where blind. Because they really couldn’t see what was behind what there senses perceive.”

The basis idea is simply without an understanding of God’s word, plan, and purpose you can’t correctly discern what you are seeing hearing and experiencing.

Back to the question who wins the other in initiating and developing male- female relationships as designed by God, the male of the female?

The answer is simple yet steeped in the mystery of God’s plans, purpose and design-

The woman, it is the woman who wins the man. It will take a deeper understanding of the deep mystery of the male –female relationships as originally designed by God to grasp the truth.

1st the narrative of the fall and the realities of the male- female relationships reveal profound truths. Whilst the man was giving position and authority in the male-female relationship, the woman was given the supremacy of influence in male –female relationships. Meaning the woman was divinely designed to influence man’s choices and exercise of his position and authority including that of his choice, desire and character of man’s relationship with her.

In falling, Adam was not deceived he knew the consequences of his actions but still did it why? Because the woman told him so

1 Timothy 2:14

And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived…”

Adam jumped into fire without the woman pointing a gun at his head, he jumped simply because the woman told him to. Now that is a mystery. He would not be the only man in the bible to do that,

The strongest man who no man could vanquish (Samson) succumbed to the woman who told him, show me how to destroy you. I always wondered how can a woman tell a man I want to destroy you ,show me how to destroy and each time the man told the woman in trickery the woman actually carried out the plan. Until Samson actually revealed the truth that would destroy him to her. Now that’s a mystery.

It’s the mystery of the woman’s influence.

1 Kings 11:3 KJV

The wisest man who should know better did that

And he (Solomon) had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.

The bible says know king did evil as Ahab who his wife stirred up to evil.

The most pious of men king David fell to power of the woman

I can go on. At the same time we also see the positive influences of women in their relationship with the man and the influence of the exercise of men’s choices, authority and positions in the bible talking about Abigail, Deborah etc.

The bible reveals that it is the wife that wins her husband by her conduct without words.

1 Peter 3:1-2

1… that they (husbands) may be won over without words by the conduct of their wives,…”

Now that is a deep and powerful mystery in many respects.

It says the wife wins her own husband in line with the will of God without saying words (like men need to do) but by her conduct and essence.

It is God’s will and design for the woman to win her own husband and consequently each woman is uniquely empowered to win own husband. That is, you are anointed to win your own husband. In whatever shape that means in line with God’s will.

Furthermore the verse does not merely refer to married couples it also refers to singles as well.

As a single woman, you were designed to win your own husband, because a woman is a man’s wife awaiting the man’s discovery of that truth. That is why the bible says “ he that findeth a wife finds a good thing..” rather than he that findeth a woman. The word find in that verse does not actually mean to find by looking for much like Adam wasn’t looking for a wife before getting one, it actually means to discover something much like a revelation. You were designed to be a man’s wife awaiting the man’s discover, living in the light that communicates the reality to the man is another mystery. The design and revelation of the woman brought to Adam’s reality and discovery what God engineered the woman for. This is why it is the woman that God designed to win the man.

Eve was clearly designed for Adam, God couldn’t force her on him, God did not even hint Adam why He made Eve, if Adam had looked at Eve and looked away, or not interested in her as a wife. It wasn’t Eve’s fault it was God’s who made a product that flopped. God’s plan for both would have been frustrated.We are all created for relationships yet we can’t force individuals into relationship with us, even God can’t his mystery of beauty and attraction is the means which is hinged on a deeper underlying purpose is the means. See the “Mystery of Beauty” blogs.

Eve was designed to win Adam’s heart

One basic truth here is that you play a part in helping the man come to that understanding. Rather than saying it is the man who is supposed to make the 1st move as women imagine. Actually you play an extremely important and mysterious role in determining if the man makes that discovery and make the move in line with God’s will.

Though men are physically in charge, women influence a lot in life and in their relationship with men than they readily discern. The bible reveals that things that are seen are actually produced by things that are not seen.

God clearly made Eve as a wife for Eve, Adam wasn’t even thinking of one. Adam relationship with Eve as willed by God was born out of Eve manifestation as designed by God, Eve didn’t have to say anything.

See also

MALE - FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS, WHO DOES THE WINING2 ?