Mz.Amber's Thoughts

2011-11-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

I get real tired of black people comparing EVERYTHING to slavery. The way a person raises their child has NOTHING to do with slavery. If a parent choose to whip/spank their child that is their choice. If they choose timeout that is their choice if they choose to take away all their privileges that is their choice as well...again where does slavery fit in with any of these forms of punishment no where... Thats the problem with people they to busy worrying about someone else's life and what they're doing mind your own business :D

Why Drop Hints Ladies?

2011-10-08T04:39:00.000-07:00

So many men often question why do women drop hints? I have heard this from men on numerous occasions myself; "why don't women just tell us how they really feel, instead of dropping hints all the time, it's not like we can read their minds". It is very simple really; we don't want to hurt your feelings, well some of us don't. We also do not want to be labeled as being stuck up, rude, insensitive, or be given the infamous "you're a bitch" line. This happens frequently with a man who is interested in a particular woman but she is not interested him. When he makes an advance, instead of just telling him straight forward that she is not interested or simply say no. She will put him in the Friends' Zone and casually hints that she is not interested but at same time not completely giving direct rejection to his advances (yes I said it rejection,, stop cringing... let's embrace the word). While she views him as just a friend, he is still viewing her as a potential partner; this is where the problem starts. He will continue to flirt with her and even ask her out. She may even flirt back and even hang out sometimes with him while still viewing him as just a "friend". This can go on for a while before she gets point where she has put her foot down and finally express how she truly feels because the man could not see the signs or until the man gets fed up with the hints; when it reaches that point that is where it gets ugly. By this time the man feels like he has been led on, played or taken for a fool. This is why women must be more direct with their feelings and must not...I repeat MUST NOT drop hints, because men are wired differently and for the most part can't pick up on subtle hints when a woman is not interested; for that matter stop dropping hints in all situations ladies! The longer you wait to tell him how you feel the bigger the hole you're digging for yourself.

Beauty by Brian and I

2011-10-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

Just something me and my friend wrote a long time ago

(Brian's Part)

Beauty is more than what you see, if your perspective is that of a shadow, then the image and reflection that you perceive of men and women, makes you seem so shallow, it's a lesson the world will have to learn, but in time i feel that the world will notice the changes by way of concern,beauty is outward and in,like a heart,it's easy to get caught up,but you have to love the whole heart,just like beauty, love that person inside, and out, thats the true definition of loving someones beauty, a private or social convo, shows that beauty and brains, makes more than enough to excite the social connection, we may not be perfect, but in god's eyes, were perfection.

(My Part)

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but what the eye beholds is often an illusion An illusion that beauty is only conceived by outward appearances, that beauty goes no further than the skin that covers our bodies. When in fact beauty surrounds us every where we turn, ignorant of this vast sea of beauty because society has conned us into accepting that beauty is perceived only in one way. She may not look like a Halle Berry or Beyonce but her simple configuration her broad imagination and her ability to initiate and hold an intelligent conversation defines her beauty in a boundless sense. Too many people are trying to obtain beauty by having alterations performed on their temples that were given to them by the Lord. Instead of looking on a deeper level at beauty we are to concerned with the insignificant particulars of beauty such as measurements, hair length, skin color and weight. We need to stop and open our eyes to the broader sense that beauty is also defined by personality, integrity and the depth ness of ones soul. We need to look to the celestial skies and thank God that he gave us all these beauties of the world and therefore we need to stop categorizing beauty based solely on looks because beauty only does not keep a man from cheating on his woman or woman from cheating on her man there is more to beauty than the eye can behold and thus fore we not only need to use our eyes but our intellectual minds to grasp this thing called beauty

The Reality of Things

2011-10-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

"If the pretties were expected to make the sacrifice in order to "belong" what could the unattractive female do? She was called upon only if the pretty girls were unavailable.I believe plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity"....... I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
This is one of my favorite quotes from that book... It really makes me think deeper.. that unattractive girls are only desired if a girl who is considered beautiful or pretty is not "putting out" ...so what does the boy do he settles for someone he knows he has a chance of scoring with. Basically he's using the unattractive girl for one thing only... whether it be for money, somewhere to stay, sex, food, clothes and etc. It also makes me think that unattractive females are only virgins as Maya puts it because of "Scarcity" to be otherwise How many times a day do you see in the media where the guy HAS to be with a pretty girl and what about the girl who's not considered pretty... what happens to her? She is tossed aside ...treated like dirt...that she is unworthy to be seen as anything else but an ugly individual to be treated less than human... I remember I asked a friend, who is a guy, a question... " Do you think someone who's not considered physically attractive can find love" his answer to me was " I have a chance to win the lottery...but that likely won't happen".... so what he was saying to me was... that yes they have a chance but it wouldn't happen because no one wants an ugly girlfriend/wife. Which is true...when you think about it... most guys like to brag on how "hot" their girlfriend is ...or show her off... think about it... why do successful black men ..marry light skinned or white women? Because society has deemed them as more attractive than darker skinned women... which is totally not true....its the main reason why some black men only want to have children by lighter skinned women ..sad isn't it? So what are girls that are considered ugly to do?? It seems like to me by society's standards that no one wants them... ..Are looks that important?... I always thought it was personality and what's on the inside that counts ...but each day I'm proven wrong.. I get a big slap of reality every time I turn on the T.V. or open a magazine or when I talk to my male associates.... Tyra Banks tried to prove her point that the inside does matter with her show True Beauty but I think she failed... all the women were pretty and yes some of them did have stank attitudes and personalities but when it comes down to it...if you were to line those girls up next to some lesser attractive females..... who would the guys pick??? Based on looks alone..... Exactly

Real Love

2011-10-06T20:16:00.001-07:00

1. LOVE TAKES TIME TO GROW INFATUATION EXPLODES IN AN INSTANT. You can fall into infatuation but you usually grow into love love develops out of relationship and caring for another person and core personal character traits not our first impression of another person. If you find yourself "falling" in love often and early only to be disappointed later remember love takes time. It will save you some heartache2. LOVE GROWS OUT OF KNOWING ALL THAT YOU CAN ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON. GOOD OR BAD Infatuation is happy knowing very little about someone so it can leave the rest up to the imagination. Infatuation lives in a fantasy where the object of our affection is perfect flawless and completely devoted to us.
3. TRUE LOVE FOCUSES ON THE OTHER PERSON. INFATUATION IS SELF CENTERED

4. AN INFATUATED INDIVIDUAL MAY BE "IN LOVE" WITH TOW OR MORE PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME.True love is focused only on one person5.GENUINE LOVE CREATES A SENSE OF SECURITY AND FEELINGS OF TRUST. AN INFATUATED PERSON OFTEN FEELS JEALOUS BECAUSE HE/SHE DOESN'T TRUST THE OTHER PERSON.
Security grows and flows out of deep awareness of the other person's character, values and track record.

6. SOMEONE WHO'S INFATUATED LOSES HIS/HER AMBITION AND INTERESTS IN EVERYDAY THINGS AND DAYDREAMS OF UNREALISTIC IDEALS THAT WON'T EVER REALLY HAPPEN. A PERSON IN LOVE WORKS HARD TO BETTER HIM/HER SELF FOR THE OTHER PERSON'S BENEFIT

People in infatuation only think of their own misery. They often daydream of unrealistic objectives and ideals that neither person could ever actually attain. Have you ever been around someone who's terminally infatuated? The things they used to be involved in clubs, sports, whatever; seem to have been affected by their "love bug" They're suddenly living in la la land. That's not love; that's brain damage.

*If you're in a relationship and the other person is so glassy-eyed all the time that he/she can't get anything done, suspect infatuation. Infatuation feeds off the relationship; love builds into the relationship.7. A COUPLE IN LOVE OPENLY FACES PROBLEMS AND TRIES TO SOLVE THEM. INFATUATED PEOPLE SWEEP PROBLEMS UNDER THE RUG AND PRETEND THEY DON'T EXIST
8. LOVE UNDERSTANDS THAT GIVING SOMEONE SPACE IS A GOOD THING. INFATUATION IMAGINES THAT LOVE MEANS INTENSE CLOSENESS 24/7.

if circumstances require you to be separated from the one you love, that will teach you a lot about the quality of your relationship. if you've been going out for a while and you call each other 3-5 times a day or you just have to see each other every day, that's not a good sign. That means you're trying to keep the feelings alive. if you both don't have the lives and you don't have some away time. you probably have a lot of infatuation than love going on.

9. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS PART OF TRUE LOVE, BUT IT ONLY PLAYS A MINOR ROLE. IT'S THE CENTRAL FOCUS OF INFATUATION.Physical attraction is an important part of relationships but its not the most important. We've been effectively brain washed to believe that attraction is the most surest test of whether or not we're in love.

10. A COUPLE IN LOVE USUALLY EXPRESSES PHYSICAL AFFECTION LATER IN A RELATIONSHIP. IN INFATUATION, AFFECTION IS EXPRESSED EARLIER, SOMETIMES IN THE VERY BEGINNING.
Maybe on the first date it starts out with a kiss maybe more. But without the genuine love to back it up, affection ignites and consumes the relationship quickly. It makes you think the relationship is "close" but the closeness is artifical and fragile. When affection grows out of deep understanding and growing friendship, it gains in meaning and value.

11. A COUPLE IN LOVE CARES ABOUT WHEN THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED BUT THEY DON'T FEEL AN IRRESISTIBLE DRIVE TOWARD IT. INFATUATED COUPLES CAN'T WAIT TO TIE THE KNOT.

12. LOVE TENDS TO ENDURE INFATUATION MAY CHANGE SUDDENLY AND UNPREDICTABLY.