a Heart more Focused

Our kid-free vacation…

Erika @aHeartMoreFocused — Fri, 10 May 2013 00:55:12 +0000

…was something short of a beautiful disaster.

Ok, not really, drama queen. It wasn’t exactly what we envisioned, but how often does that happen?

I’ve been putting this post off for some reason. It’s not like anything earth shattering happened. I just didn’t know where to start.

Let’s start with the ~~bad~~ less-than-ideal stuff.

It was too soon for me to leave Wyatt. Period.

I missed Dylan, I just didn’t miss him the same way. I knew he had a better grasp on where we were and what was going on. I knew they both were happy and safe with their grandparents and uncles. We couldn’t have left them in more capable, loving hands.

BUT, Wyatt got sick while we were gone and I ached to cuddle and nurse him the.whole.time. Every Facetime we did he cried and searched for me behind the computer. So that’s pretty much every.single.night, except for the last one where I started to really worry something was wrong.

He didn’t understand why I couldn’t hold him and that broke my heart.

I did let go of a lot of my worry, knowing there was nothing I could do until I got home. I was also comforted by the knowledge that our parents raised us to be strong, healthy, well adjusted (mostly) adults and we had left them with everything they needed to make medical decisions.

Then, there was a clogged milk duct. I had to deal with that two days into the trip because I don’t pump all that often and certainly not exclusively. As luck (or Montezuma) would have it, the same day I was dealing with the aforementioned issue, it would seem a little revenge caught up with me… I probably don’t need to go into much detail there. We were in Mexico and suffice it to say, I must have somehow ingested some local water. I have a feeling it was when we visited another resort the day before, though I’m not sure what it was exactly.

The only other “negative” I could mention is the whole all-inclusive thing. We stayed at the Secrets Capri Riviera Cancun and it’s a beautiful resort where they really do a wonderful job of limiting the excess. Surplus abounds just the same, however…

Ok, enough of that.

Let’s talk about the GOOD:

It was so, so nice to get away and reconnect with the love of my life. He probably feels more like my last priority most days. To have full conversations without stopping every three words to tell the nearby three year, who’s trying to talk over us, “Mommy and Daddy are talking for a minute, buddy.”, was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The pure silence that surrounded us at this very serene Adults-only resort was pretty refreshing. I had forgotten how quiet our lives were once…

It was also really nice to get a sick day.

Did I lose you with that one?

I don’t generally get days to rest and recover while ill unless it miraculously lines up with Andy’s work schedule. One entire day of laying in bed with the sound of ocean waves off our balcony, wasn’t too bad. How can I really complain about being sick under those circumstances?

We, thankfully, were well and able to enjoy the actual day of our anniversary without any complications.

Andy reserved the resort’s “Romantic Dinner” package for around sunset the evening of our Anniversary. We had a private little beach-side gazebo where we received dedicated servers, champagne, and a beautiful meal by candlelight.

So, that’s about it.

It was a beautiful trip where my hubby and I decompressed and reconnected. I don’t regret going, but, knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have opted to go that far for so long. The time together without the kids was necessary and really helped all the relationships in this house. You know, since distance makes the heart grow fonder and all. Next time, though, I think a long weekend somewhere a little closer would be better for a trip without the kids and we’ll save the 5+ day trips for family vacations. Happily, that’s up next, but more on that another day.

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New beginnings with a side of cute

Erika @aHeartMoreFocused — Mon, 06 May 2013 21:03:53 +0000

Spring brings newness. It’s a time filled with fresh life that, often, restores one’s spirit.

Renewal started for me at the beginning of the year with two New Years resolutions, which I followed through on: 1) to make time for fitness with the goal of both weight-loss and strength-gain and 2) to strive for “contentment”, which was more my private word for the year. The word was something my husband and I agreed on over a date night dinner at the beginning of January.

I believe, with all my heart, that God took my hand and helped me follow through on these decisions. For those of you just stumbling upon this blog, I lost 25 lbs in five months.

It all really started last summer when I recommitted to spend time everyday both reading and meditating on the Bible. I’ve done my best to start each day anew with the love and encouragement I find there. Obviously, that wasn’t possible some days with the unpredictable sleep schedule of a baby, which necessitated some creativity. Now, my day doesn’t feel complete without time spent in quiet reflection.

In short, God’s transformed my life in under a year.

That’s not to say I’m a completely different person. I am who I am, flaws and all. And let me tell you, there have been some pretty ugly days in this house where I’ve screamed and cried and fallen apart. Where I feel like a complete mess and wonder how I’m going to make it through the rest of the day. I fail constantly to be the peaceful parent I yearn to be, but I’m learning and growing right along with my children.

What my transformation has resulted in is forgiveness for myself and others, a changed heart, and a fresh perspective.

Everyday, as I wake, I can hear the birds chirping outside my window. In about a month from now, I do know I’ll be over the 5am wake-up call, but right now? It’s beautiful. As the sun rises and sets, the light that reflects off of the new flowers and leaves takes my breath away.

The beauty of God’s creation and the refreshed spirit within has inspired me to redesign my site. Again. I’ve changed my tag-line to better reflect my mission with this blog: joyfully capturing a renewed life.

Really, that’s more for me. I’ve felt stuck with what to write for the past few weeks. This new tag line helps to remind me why I want to keep blogging when chaos sets in and I start to doubt myself. I hesitate to label this space as a holistic mommy, photography, or fitness blog alone because it’s all of thee above and so much more to me. I think this new tagline better reflects that.

Spring brought me another gift: a renewed passion for photography. I’ve enjoyed capturing moments of playtime outside with the boys. Hence, the side of cute.

Here are some of my favorite moments over the past couple of weeks:

I’ll share pictures from our trip and talk about both the good and the bad on Wednesday, so stay tuned

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Happy Spring Friday!

Erika @aHeartMoreFocused — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:59:50 +0000

I will post about our trip and how the kids did AND the adjustment period after getting back soon, but… we’re all still adjusting.

So, until I can get my act together, I leave you with a taste of Spring around our home:

Yes, many of these are macro. No, I don’t have a real macro lens (except my ollo clip for my phone). I do have a 50mm portrait lens however, and with some creativity and coordination, it can be used for macro photography. If that peaks your interest, check this out!

Oh yeah, and a reorganized #aHeartFitFriday will be back soon, too!

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Hi! I’m back from vacation

Erika @aHeartMoreFocused — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 19:27:22 +0000

Hi. I never just write here anymore.

I mean, for the last few months, it’s either been a post about one of the boys, a Wordless Wednesday, or my weekly #aHeartFitFriday post.

It’s not that I don’t think about posting every day. I do. It just feels like my days fill up so quickly with a million other things. That, and at the end of the day I usually choose to unwind with a book or a show where I can just completely relax and take stuff in rather than communicate.

Okay, so at this point I was about to go into how I’m somewhat shy, yet consider myself an Extrovert, but I’m not really sure, blah blah blah… Then I stopped and thought, “Why not find a personality test online?”

Stop. Take this now if you don’t know yours offhand. It takes approximately 5 minutes.

Drum roll please….

I’m, apparently, an ENTJ. I feel like I’ve just be reintroduced to myself.

Hello self, nice to meet you.

So many things that never made any sense about my own behavior now suddenly click. You know what I mean? Self understanding is almost as complicated as getting to know others. Or maybe that’s just a female thing?

So what now? Oh yeah, I just got back from a vacation! I guess I’m enough on the edge of being an Introvert that I wanted to escape to somewhere relaxing and just, well, unhinge.

Andy and I celebrated five years of marriage last Thursday in Playa del Carmen at the Secrets Capri Riviera Resort, which is the same resort we visited on our honeymoon. We left on Wednesday and returned late Sunday evening. It was beautiful and relaxing and Andy and I definitely reconnected.

But… more on that tomorrow for Wordless Wednesday, because I need at least a 15 min nap before the boys wake up!

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He’s ONE!! {Baby Wyatt’s 1st Year – Wordless Wed}

Erika @aHeartMoreFocused — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:00:56 +0000

Okay, so he’s been 1 for almost a month now…

What can I say? Life with kids happened.

You’d think by looking at these first pictures that we had a party for this baby boy. We didn’t really. We had a great grandma, grandparents and uncles little celebration with a big cake and smash cake courtesy of Cinderellie’s Sweets (if you live in Central, NJ and need any specialty treats, Ellie is amazing!).

Wyatt’s growing into such a fun loving, determined, little dare devil. He’s completely infatuated with stairs (yay!) and rubber balls. He could honestly spend all day playing a modified game of catch with anyone willing. This means, he and Rue are developing a new friendship/rivalry.

These changes also mean, Wyatt and Dylan are developing a new relationship. One where they laugh and play together, comfort each other when the other is upset, and, obviously, find new ways to irritate each other. It’s very cool to watch. There’s no doubt that they love each other.

He’s such a special boy and I can’t believe his first year is already over. It went by so fast and it makes me sad to think about how quickly the next few years will disappear. I’m thankful to God for this sweet boy to care for and cherish.

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