This raises some serious questions about our education system and the lethargy of our youth that never goes any further than the first page of Google.

“The only purpose of education is to teach a student how to live his life—by developing his mind and equipping him to deal with reality. The training he needs is theoretical, i.e., conceptual. He has to be taught to think, to understand, to integrate, to prove. He has to be taught the essentials of the knowledge discovered in the past—and he has to be equipped to acquire further knowledge by his own effort.” — Ayn Rand.

Today, let’s explore, how we have moved from the above Ayn Rand quote, to a situation where the meaning of the word “education” has been loosely reduced to a mere means of earning a living. We can’t return the word its glory until we acknowledge the problem; and being the hypocrites we are, it is unlikely that we would ever admit to being a part in vulgarizing its meaning.

So we bring to you a test. If you find yourself relating to even one of the points below, you, my friend, are knee-deep a partner in the above-said crime.

(Also, self-discovery tip #1: If education means any of the following to you, Aap _______ hain.)

Education refers to:

1. The subjects we are taught at school.
(If education to you is that passing certificate from the Sibal-screwed-system, I have bad news for you.)

2. Being able to read and write.
(The ghost of Ms. Rand just hanged itself.)

3. Being able to bag a job with a four or higher figure salary.
(Congratulations! You have been successfully human-machinized by the Corporate world.)

4. Being able to bag a job better than the neighbour’s.
(Yes. We all want to see our mothers happy, but this just isn’t the way.)

5. Having an enviable degree.
(No matter how enviable it may be, you’re still an idiot.)

6. One of the main pillars to nail a “lucrative” spouse.
(If the prospective spouse is going for the same criteria, you’re a perfect match. Just don’t breed.)

7. Speaking fluent English/ knowing “arduous” words.
(If that’s all you can do, it’s like wrapping an empty box in a shiny cover. No matter how attractive it looks on the outside, it’s still empty inside.)

8. Impressing others with your “general knowledge”.
(Being able to bash national politics for endless hours—surely that’s the best possible use of “education”.)

9. Knowing your religion’s scriptures/shlokas/verses by heart.
(This has been censored fearing the Shiv Sena.)

10. Scoring high.
(Chatur from 3 Idiots. Anyone?)

11. The means to become an engineer.
(Because it seems we have after all cracked the purpose of human life—to become an engineer.)

12. Being “disciplined”, i.e. to never question/violate the society.
(Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi and Galileo would beg to differ.)

13. Embracing the “Indian” culture.
(Censored again fearing an endless list of Jackholes.)

And now, see if the following definition makes any sense to you:

Education is actually the means to wake people up from their ignorance, the means to make them think, the means to make them absorb, wonder and question, the means to make them follow their hearts, the means to make them understand happiness, the means to understand where their own happiness lies, driving them to work towards it with all the passion in their hearts, so that they do what every man is born to do: full justice to the beautiful gift they had been blessed with—LIFE.

NTMN brings to you the exclusive story. On the 25th of April, Rahul Gandhi was already furious when he had to stop at the red-light like all the other 1.2 billion lowlifes, when a 10 year old newspaper hawker knocked on his car window. Excited that he could now pass some time, Rahul asked Kaushal (the hawker boy) to give him something with a lot of pictures. When the boy refused saying that he only had newspapers with news in them, a slightly disappointed Rahul Gandhi asked for a Hindi newspaper so that he could read easily. Mishearing, Kaushal gave him The Hindu, which Rahul Gandhi promptly returned after turning through few pages and finding nothing but pages and pages with English text in it. Finally, he settled for the Times of India. Kaushal asked for Rs 3, at which point Rahul handed him a Rs 1000 note.

I want ten times the pocket money I currently earn(?), says Rahul Gandhi

Seeing a Rs 1000 note for the first time in his life, Kaushal explained that he did not have change for such currency. To that, Rahul responded, “This is all I have, take it or leave it.”

At this point, Kaushal became a little sad at the possibility of losing a customer and politely asked Gandhi, “Couldn’t you bring some change?” Rahul Gandhi and his convoy burst into a unanimous laughter, and then Rahul said, “Do you think I can bring change? You are so naive.” Kaushal started weeping and asked him if he could keep the money and maybe return it to him some other day. In return, Rahul started weeping as well and said an emphatic NO!

When the boy asked him why, Rahul explained, “You didn’t hear me, this is ALL I have, this is the pocket money my mom gives me everyday.” Kaushal stared at him carefully, and finally decided that Mr. Gandhi needed his three rupees more than he needed the thousand. So, he let go of the note and the newspaper and said, “Jaa be, tu bhi kya yaad rakhega kis raees se pala pada tha.”

Later Rahul Gandhi was heard saying, “How could have I given it, it was money hard earned by uncle A. Raja for us. Besides, if I gave him 1000 from the 1000 that I get daily, I would be left with just 10 rupees or something. ” Insiders report that Mrs. G is furious at her son’s public campaign, and has decided to further reduce his pocket money to a meagre 10 rupees a day, in order to teach him a lesson.

(headline suggestion: Sugandha)

Dear Ma,

A happy Mother’s Day to you. On this special Sunday, we want to share with you our deepest gratitude for being our ever-so-loving awesome mother. We know how you work hard every day to make our lives simpler and less pain-staking. But we realized we haven’t been the best of what you expect from us. We promise you that from today we will do chores to lessen the burden you have always taken for us.

The ugly mess of sheets we leave on our beds is taken off; come to our rooms to see for yourself. Same old dosas for breakfast? We love it and don’t mind having it 3 times a week! Socks thrown on the floor will now be seen in the laundry basket. We will continue to fight over the TV remote though, but no skipping meals by the one who loses their show. It’s hard for you and we know, but teenage isn’t really good on us either. Fights in school shall remain in school and we won’t let that steam of anger on you.

Your choice of clothes may not be in fashion but no more ridiculing you of your old fashioned ways. We won’t ridicule you about your English too. You studied hard on whatever little education you were provided, and we understand why you push us to study hard too. The opportunities you struggle to give us are a privilege many children like us still don’t enjoy. We get that you do whatever you can do so that we can become better than you.

You are just fantastic! Being you is impossible, but skipping on studies will no longer be an excuse. Going out to work is hard; we really can’t seem to understand that but we really appreciate the time you take out for us. It is incredible how you spare so much time for us out of your busy schedule. You sit with us while we play, you bring us that coffee for late night studies. How do you do it ma?

That movie you always wanted to watch with us? We will be there. Our friends can wait. Speaking of friends, we shall be more polite when your buddies come over. Except Nisha Aunty, she’s a no-no. We are tired of being compared to their successful children. We aren’t they, and we shall never be—just like you can never be Nisha Aunty.

Oh, and dad is with us too. He promises to spare some time for us from his tours. We also promise to help you with the cooking and cleaning. We will not complain if things aren’t perfect as usual. If there comes a time we slack on our work, you can show us this note to remind us of our promise. We came into this world because of you and we love it even more because you are there. Someday we hope we can try to be a parent like you. If we could be even 1% of what you are, we would be very beautiful, innocent, intelligent, responsible, smart, confident and loving. If you were even 1% of what we are, we would be an utter mess. You are the super mom! And you shall be always.

Love

Ankit & Anjali

NTMN would like to take up this opportunity to wish all the mothers a very happy Mothers’ Day.  

Vishal was apparently inspired by a Red Bull advertisement that shows a Buddhist Lama who could fly after consuming the supposed energy drink. Vishal had taken a week off from work to devise his plan. In keeping with his glorious scheme, he bought 30 Red Bull cans. He had full confidence in the magic wings endowed by Red Bull.

Finally yesterday, Vishal decided to put his belief into action. He climbed up on the terrace of DLF Towers and announced that he was going to jump from there, without any physical support. “I will be flying to India Gate,” he announced. Within minutes, the area was swarming with people. Among the bewildered crowd, many thought that he was going to commit suicide.

Soon, news channel vans reached the spot and started recording the proceedings. The police were quick to respond; they reached an hour late. By 4:30pm, Vishal had had nine cans of Red Bull. He shouted that if one can of Red Bull could make a Lama fly, then nine cans were enough to reach the moon—and then, he jumped.

He was rushed to Medanta Hospital with 23 fractures. A Red Bull executive from India was quick to respond, “It is the conspiracy of Coca Cola company against Red Bull. They are afraid of our growing market. That boy works for them.”

An eyewitness, Nikhil, Vishal’s good friend, said, “I had always noticed the excitement in him and brightness in his eyes each time he saw the Red Bull advertisement on TV. However, I had never thought that he would go to such an extent.”

“Was cheated”

Meanwhile, getting back to his senses after twelve surgeries, Vishal said, “I was cheated. The shopkeeper sold me fake Red Bull cans. It is just because of my love for Red Bull that I have survived. Next time I shall buy real Red Bull cans and try again. All hail Red Bull.”

Baba Ramdev, after hearing about the incident, reiterated his views on all soft drinks. He said that drinks are solely meant for “toilet cleaning” and that foreign companies are “big frauds”. He demanded that the government take steps to drive such companies out of India.

(ed. Ruchi Uppal)

Ms. Neeta Ambani, a fitness freak and owner of Mumbai Indians team remarked, “Dil Jumping Zapak is commendably choreographed and the dance moves reminds me of aerobics classes.” She said that she dances every time it’s played, and she has also recommended this to some of her near-and-dear ones, failing to mention exactly who.

Farah Khan teaching the Dil Jumping Zapak dance

Mr. Rajeev Shukla, the IPL chief was a bit taken aback when we said that the song is insensible and that no word could be understood except for Dil Jumping in the title. “How much of the Gangnam style do you really understand? Open Gangnam style! Etc. etc, And again, Open Gangnam style! Same story.”

To inspire audiences to dance more and lose weight with IPL, the advertising team has already started publishing the “before and after” images. We hear that they are using pics of “random aunties” for “before” and cheerleaders from different teams for the “after” pics. Also, such posters of Farah herself, thanks to surgery and not dance, and Ms. Neeta Ambani too are also doing the rounds.

Taking note of the recent trend of audience taking IPL and its dances more seriously and getting fitter day after another, Baba Ramdev and the like have already started hunting another resort for livelihood. He was quoted saying, “With this going on, by the end of the next IPL season, they will be thinner than me in the Kapal-bhati mode!”

1. The Smartass Drivers:
   • The Honkers: Of course honking changes the traffic lights’ colour faster, doesn’t it? So equip your car with the loudest, the crassest and the most irritating horns available in the market. Now what? Go crazy, no holds barred! Honk, honk, honk! Traffic jam ahead? Still, honk, honk, honk! Nobody’s moving? Who cares! Honk, honk, honk!
   • The Light Raiders: Oh, you can’t see through your black sunglasses in the night? Why, switch on the high lamps! If you have the fluorescent lights, it’s even better. Who gives a damn if others around you can’t see a thing; it’s your vision that really matters!
   • The Texters: Driving at 80 kmph and your mobile phone starts vibrating? You must check it, NOW—without stopping of course. It could be some very important message, maybe about “how to reduce your fat in 30 days” or some good forwarded joke. Don’t forget to send back an LOL, before you start concentrating on the road again!
   • The Random Parkers: Where to park, where to park? Meh, I will just leave it here, lying in the middle of the road. You shall not pass!
2. The Seat Freeloaders:
   So, you’re sitting there in the metro, peacefully reading a book, and suddenly some Auntie with an engorged posterior (no offence) orders you (not asks) to make some space for her. Grumpily, you scooch about slightly. Buoyed by bullying you, the Auntie pushes her rears with all her might into the teeny tiny space, turning you into a 2D object!
3. The Minister of Traffic:
   Oh, a VIP minister is about to come through this road. Quick, let us block all the traffic here for a couple of hours, and then spend another five hours to fix it. The Minister needs an expressway, and we’ll make him one in the space of a couple of hours. We are smart, aren’t we?
4. The Unrestrained Fighters:
   There are some of us who are just waiting for a fight. They don’t even wait to know the parties involved, or the reasons for the spat. They are just itching to get out there and unleash their firepower. Often, these guys forget whose side they actually are on, and end up assaulting their own friends in the battleground.
5. The Mobile Phone Show-offs:
   • The MP3s: Oh, your phone can play music files? Please play me and others on the metro/bus your favourite soundtrack from a ’90s movie or a religious soundtrack perhaps! While you are at it, please set it to repeat infinitely.
   • The “Loud Speakers”: You are at a theatre, watching a movie? Call your girlfriend and start shouting how you miss her, can’t sleep without her etc etc, while the audience looks on in despair. You are the centre of attraction; who cares about the movie anyway!
6. The Pee-rs:
   You have to go? Nobody’s looking, take your chance. Yes, that pole, aim for it. Why wait for a couple of minutes to reach home? Peeing in public is a statement of your courage and prowess. Who gives a rat’s ass about hygiene and other such petty issues!
7. The Great Indian Paan Spitters:
   How can we forget them; be it the wall of a school or a residential building or the footpath, it’s their birth right to grace it with the holy red spit. So go on spitting, let’s turn this green world red.
8. The Stompers:
   Have you had the distinction of coming across those who wear big massive Iron-man-esque Woodland shoes? These men have no idea about other people who might be wearing slippers or light shoes and go about stomping everyone here and there as if there’s no tomorrow. They are most commonly found in metros, at cinema halls and of course, the Woodland stores.
9. The Bargainer–Shopkeeper Agreement:
   Shopkeeper: X Rupees. Bargainer: X – Y Rupees. Shopkeeper: X – Y + 20 Rupees. Bargainer: X – Y + 10 Rupees. Item sold. Time lost = Anywhere between 10 minutes to 2 hours.

   While there is no shortage of more “antique pieces” in our country, these should suffice for the time being while we must ponder if we too are one of these!

(Contributions from: Charvi Jain, Punita Maheshwari, Brototi Roy, Shubhanker Saxena, Ankit Gouraha, Debarati Nandi)

TRAI is an association of all the yet-to-be-convicted rapists of early 21st century. Led by General Secretary Yo Yo Balatkari Singh, it is a non-government group which carries its operations in secret, mostly in the northern states of India, but is not limited there.

A “potential rapist”, who has been selected in TRAI for training (selection is done after a strenuous online interview) disclosed to an NTMN reporter, “We are being forced to sign contracts which specify that TRAI will help us in our interests, as long as we run away to Bihar after raping someone.” What interests? “Oh, they help us track down our potential victims, teach us tricks to evade the pepper spray, and also train us how to be more brutal than any of our predecessors. The more brutal we are, the more brownie points we earn, you see.”

The news comes after the two rapists of the 5-year-old girl in New Delhi were caught in Bihar as was the rapist of the girl from Madhya Pradesh.

NTMN caught up with Balatkari Singh. “The public is violent, they are really after us this time. We needed to create a diversion. So, all the ‘esteemed’ members of TRAI have been relocated to Bihar. This will turn their fickle attention from ‘Rape’ to the issue of ‘Biharis as inherent rapists’.”

Meanwhile, Raj Thackeray has categorically denied any association with Balatkari or the TRAI. However, he slammed the Indian Government for not honouring Yo Yo with the Bharat Ratna, even though he had upheld the Constitution’s vision of regionalism.

Eminent personalities and other natives from Bihar have vehemently denied claims that “Rapists are mostly Biharis”, by calling this a propaganda of TRAI. However, the common masses have turned on the Biharis. Women, especially in the national capital, are now looking at the Biharis around them with suspicion. TRAI, therefore, has suggested to its members to adopt a Punjabi or a Haryanvi accent to easily reach their preys.

The Rapists Association of India, meanwhile, continues to thrive in the ruckus, quietly going about its job, without much fuss.

Let me assure you that you would not be lucky enough to have a Sheldon-like roommate (roommate agreements, love of comic books and video games, we all are closeted nerds, are we not?).

In fact the following are the few kinds of Indian roommates you might find yourself stuck with:

The Miser of the Millennium: So, you thought the next door neighbour who always knocked your door asking for a bowl of sugar, was a miser? This roommate will prove you wrong, and will tempt you to rip out your hair in frustration in the process. Not only will they buy the lowest quality and quantity of groceries when it is their turn to buy them,  having a pizza delivered for dinner would also mean that  they can sample a couple of pieces for free while it’s you who pays for the pizza.

The Despicable He/She: The worst kind of a roommate is the one with appalling tastes in everything. You think I am joking? Trust me, more often than not, you are bound to be stuck with a roommate who thinks Tees Maar Khan was an awesome watch, Student of the Year showed the kind of school life he/she wanted and “Hookah Bar” is the most romantic song ever! And this is not the worst of it. The worst is when he/she also drags you to watch Desi Boys and I, Me aur Main and then spends the entire day discussing the movie and song!

The Perpetual Borrower: You make the mistake of offering your roommate your favourite nail polish the first week after she moved in and didn’t know any better. Now, every time you look up, you find her rummaging through your make-up box and using your nail remover to remove one of your nail polish and apply another one of yours. And by the time that cute guy at work finally asks you out a couple of months later and you decide to dress up, your nail polishes are either dried up or emptied out, and your favourite bottle of cologne half-empty.

The One with the Nosy Mother: If you rented a place with an acquaintance from your hometown, you probably made the dumbest move of your life. And if you fall in the majority, your roommate’s mother will show an incessant amount of interest in your life. She will call your roommate five times a day, and every time enquire about the details of your day, starting from when you got back home the day before, to when you woke up, your  plans for the day, who you are meeting up with, how much rice you had for lunch, how many hair you lost in the day. To add to that, your roommate would be more than happy to provide the details. How would you know what goes on between your roommate and her mother? Well, the mother definitely calls your mother to report any “misbehaviour” on your part obviously! Like, returning home after 8pm.

The Life-Less One: You are in for a hell-ride if you realize too late that you are tied down with an 11 month lease to a roommate without a life. Not only will that entail that you never get to watch TV since the only channels that are acceptable to your roommate are the ones with saas-bahu drama, but also everything would need to be kept tidy and clean. Since they have no work but to wash the sink three times a week, you are expected to lend a hand to keeping the house “beautiful” too. Just because you have a life and friends, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have the time to dust the shelves and wash the curtains as frequently as possible, does it?

The Copy-Cat: Remember the 1992 American psycho thriller Single White Female? Tone it down a couple of notches and you will get what I am talking about. Scary, but true.

If the above list has made you lean towards living as a paying guest instead, let me assure you that is not the case. But then, that is a story for another time.

On a serious note, if you find a roommate who consists of 2–3 of the above mentioned traits, consider yourself lucky. My roommate has all six of these traits, and I have been living with her for more than 16 months now. However, I still get to enjoy my life, and my urges of doing bodily harm are lukewarm at best. You just have to find the loopholes and look on the brighter side of things!

This has been written by Brototi Roy and edited by Ateendriya Gupta. Brototi and Ateendriya are currently interning with NTMN in our Youth Internship and Training Program, 2013.

The revelation was made among many others in a press conference today at an undisclosed location. Mr. Dawood seemed elated at the way things are going, and confirmed that he has already received assuring replies from some Bollywood directors and producers with whom he shares warm relations. With his characteristic modesty, he acknowledged that he hadn’t expected such enthusiasm from his Mumbai based friends. “They are all interested, and it has only made it difficult to pick the right ‘gang’ for the movie,” he said. Sure; refusal to give a role could irreparably ruin his relations with some of them.

When asked whether the Indian people or the world at large (he is planning for a world-wide release) is ready for a blast accused in a role of a revolutionary, Mr. Dawood, seemingly infuriated, replied, “I don’t even see the point of such questions! What has my personal life got to do with my creative career… my on-screen role? Questions like this are just an expression of a narrow-minded bias against the revered mafia-subculture!”

He further vindicated the expected success of his project by alluding to the persistent demand of entertainment among people. He said, “People in India have surprisingly short memory. Who remembers that our immensely talented Sallu also very skilfully crushed five people under his car? Who remembers that the boom-boom in Mumbai could never have been possible without Sanju baba’s selfless aid? But everyone remembers Dabangg; everyone remembers Chulbul Pandey. And who can forget that cute epitome of Gandhigiri… Munnabhai? You see the point is that people are entertainment hungry. This is a Global-yug. No one cares for morals anymore. If anyone did then how would you account for all that money their movies are cashing at the box-office? 100 crores! 200 crores! Do you see my point?”

While appropriating the professionalism of the film industry, he accused the press itself of lacking it: “The film industry… or for that matter any creative industry, is beyond such petty grievances. Who’s got the time for these things… except I don’t know… underpaid journalists!”

The press conference that seemed to be heading towards a sudden end was saved in time by a dumb NTMN journalist who asked Mr. Dawood on the USP of the movie in addition to its avant-garde repackaging of a terrorist as a revolutionary. Overjoyed at his plans for introducing newer elements in his movie, Mr. Dawood replied that that he has already ordered some 20,000 extras and a huge consignment of explosives and ammunition from his friends at Al-Qaeda and Hijbul-Mujaeddin, and that the movie will stand-out for its realistic portrayal of action scenes.

The high-profile press conference ended with a jubilant “terrorist-cum-will-be-actor” promising the entire world a masterpiece that would take by storm the film communities all over the world: “Look, I am no Spielberg and I won’t make a Pearl Harbor—with all its fake sets and unconvincing fighting sequences. Everything would be real in this movie. There would be real blasts and real men will be sacrificed at the altar of creative freedom. All great art demands sacrifice… demands devotion and I think it’s time our film-makers learned that. This movie would be flesh and blood itself. This movie will be a Masterpiece!”

Given the deplorable state of Indian Cinema when the film-makers, having run out of ideas are busy with lousy remakes and gross plagiarism, it is only such promises of experimental cinema that keep alive the hopes of cinema lovers. And one gets a feeling that a storm is really coming.

(editorial inputs: Zoyeb Batliwala. Kshitij and Zoyeb are currently interning with NTMN in our Youth Internship-cum-Training Program.)

NTMN: Many congratulations, Mohan. You have topped the Civil Services exam. How does it feel?

Mohan: (in a sad tone) Kya congrats? I am dumbfounded. Okay, I topped and all, but do you know how lonely it is at the top?

NTMN: Umm, yeah. But are you not thrilled at your results. We also hear that you are an IIT and IIM alumnus and have been a topper there too.

MT: Well, there was nothing to do at IIT, except for studying of course. I was nicknamed “Sheldon” by my batch mates. So I thought, “might as well prove them right”. Then I got into an IIM. I topped the CAT exam that year and got in. And the same story followed.

NTMN: So, this seems to be a habit for you! You have been a topper throughout?

MT: No. I wanted to become a singer, a trained musician. But my father scolded me and asked me if I wanted to become a singer begging alms in the train. I got angry and in a fit of rage, went to my study room. I came out only after topping.

NTMN: That is sad.

MT: No, it is not. You know what is sadder than this? I do not know what to do now. It is like a vacuum. I feel lonely. I do not know what to do with my life now. All I have ever done is study. I never thought I would have to implement what I studied so far. No one taught me how to do that. I am heartbroken. Do you know of any exams that are tougher than UPSC? I want to take them too, and top them as well.

NTMN: We? Umm, well… yeah you could try for SAT, GRE, GMAT. But you are already an officer with the Government of India. Why would you want to boot such a lucrative offer to study?

MT: DUDE! Not study. Just TOP! I want to top everything, all exams of this world. By hook or by crook. Just tell me if you know of some tough exams. I have been in pursuit of an aim all my life. All this while, my aim had been to crack the toughest examinations. This obsession helped me get into IITs and IIMs and now the IAS. I have decided to apply for a few other examinations too.

NTMN: So IIT, IIM and IAS, that’s like all the three major “I-exams”. They say one who cracks one “I-exam” is Intelligent. Someone with two of them is an Iconoclast and the one making a dent at all the three is an Idiot. What do you say to that?

MT: Yeah yeah, whatever… is there a fourth “I” that I can top?

NTMN: Anyway, so what’s your secret, how did you manage to top at all these exams, all these years?

MT: Arrey chill hai yaar.

NTMN: So what next?

MT: I have no frigging idea. I have an offer from some coaching institutes to join them. But no, I wish I had stood second, so that I could take the exam next year to improve it. Bloody hell! I don’t know how to cure this Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) of answering every question correctly!

NTMN: So did you see or plan to see any doctor about this OCD?

MT: Man! That reminds me, I can still take the medical exams, right? I think I should top it too, agree?

NTMN: That is upto you to decide. We are sure you will do well.

MT: Do well? I want to top. Doing well is NOT OKAY.

NTMN: Anyway, moving on. Do tell us some funny incidents from your life.

MT: There have not been many. But umm, funny yeah! I find the standard model using the subatomic elementary particles so hilarious that…

NTMN: Nah… not that funny!

MT: Ah! Okay. Alright, here’s one which others find funny but I don’t see why. So I took GRE in my 4th year and scored 1590. Yeah I know, what’s up with under-performance! Then I re-took it a month after to remedy the situation and scored 1600. I didn’t sleep, eat, bathe or do anything else for that entire one month. I hear they had to evacuate the GRE centre when I was taking the exam… hahaha!

NTMN: Any advice that you would like to pass on to our readers and other “top-every-exam” aspirants?

MT: Yeah. Just one. Such stunts are performed by professionals under expert guidance. Please don’t try to replicate in your own life, you may end up getting severe irreversible head injury with multiple injuries to the emotional side of your brain. Also, there is thing called “life” which will be extinct from your life.