naija jokes

SkyBox F3 Cheap HD receiver from China

2012-07-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

FCT Command of the State Security paraded two ritualist John Yakubu and Ishaya Dakulung who killed and beheaded a seven year old boy Samu Danjuma for Ritual Purpose.

John Yakubu said the victim who is the son of the his neighbor was drowned in a river before he beheaded the vicitm.

Ishaya Dakulung role was to get buyers for the head of the boy and he was promised Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand Naira. The SSS says its investigation is ongoing to unravel all the syndicates involved in the business.

I hope parents are seeing this. What about the Ladies? You want a boyfriend that has cars & money. See how some make their money. Where are the religious & traditional rulers? see how some people get money they throw around on you & you even bless them.

Only God knows how many more they may have done and escaped. Another reason why you should be extra-careful wherever you go. I recently purchased Skybox F3 HD satellite receiver form China at a cost of only 110$ inclusive of shipment to Kenya via DHL.
The receiver is sent as a GIFT SAMPLE so no duty charges....
This is a Cheap HD receiver which comes stocked with loads extras.
The receiver is part of the Openbox family.

Snap shots of the SkyBox F3.....

SkyBox F3 with skybox usb wifi.

Main Spec of Skybox F3 include.....
1, Dual-Core CPU , 396MHz MIPS Processor
2, Supports HDMI 1.3
3, PVR Functions
4, NIT search Supported
5, AV / HDMI Output
6, Support cccamd, newcamd, MGcamd, Avatarcamd for Card Sharing
7, Come with Sharp Tuner, Signal quality better and very fast Blind Scan...
8, 1080p Full HD digital receiver..
For a satellite receiver to be full HD it needs to support 1080P, Most HD receivers are 1080i but for one to enjoy full HD the channel you are watching must be televising in 1080P format and your receiver as must support 1080P format.
9, File System supported, FAT12, FAT16, FAT32, NTFS
10, Media supported: divx, xvid, mkv, ts, tp, avi, mp4, mpg, mp3, vob, mwa plus more
*Basic Function:
Support Linux Operating System,
Support 1080P/1080i/720p/570p/576i/480p;
Support DVB-S/S2 digital TV signal modulated in QPSK/8PSK/16APSK;
SCPC & MCPC receivable from C/Ku band satellites;
Support USB 2.0 PVR. MP3, JPG photo playback
Support Electronic Program Guide(EPG) for 7 days;
Support software upgrade through USB2.0 port;
NIT search supported;
Support MHEG-5;
Support HDMI 1.3;
Teletext and subtitle out through OSD;
Support multi-lingual DVB subtitle and teletext;
Automatic and manual channel scan options;
Powerful program management function, parent lock;
MPEG-2 / H.264 Hardware decoding
Tuner Module, Plug&Play
Channel-change time < 1 second
Automatic service scan
Directly bouquet-lists
OSD in many languages and skin-support
Videotext Decoder

*Chipset and Memory:
CPU: 396MHz
Flash: 4Mbytes
RAM: DDR2-1Gbit

*Interface:
1x LNB In, LNB Out
1x HDMI
1x RCA Video
1x Scart
1x RJ45
1x USB 2.0
1x 12Voltage
1x RS232

*Tuner:
Input Frequency:950~2150MHz
Loop Out Frequency:950~2150MHz
Input Level:-65~-25dBm
Input Impedance:75¦¸
LNB Power: Auto/14v/18v/OFF, Imax = 500mA

*Demodulation:
Demodulation: QPSK / 8PSK/ 16APSK
Symbol rate: 1.5~45MSPS

*DiSEqC:
DiSEqC Control: DiSEqC 1.0, 1.2, 1.3(USALS)
22K Tone Frequency: 22±1KHz; 0.5±0.2V

*Video Decoding:
Video Compression MPEG-2 and MPEG-1 compatible, H.246/AVC
Video Formats 4:3 / 16:9
Letterbox for 4:3 TV-Device
Video Resolution: 480i, 480p, 576i, 576p, 720p, 1080i

*Audio Decoding:
Audio Compression MPEG-1 & MPEG-2 Layer I and II, MP3, WMA, AAC, AC3
Audio Mode Dual (main/sub), Stereo
Frequency: 32 kHz, 44.1 kHz, 48 kHz, 16 kHz, 22.05 kHz, 24 kHz

*Power:
Input power: AC100~240V 50/60Hz
Maximum Power consumption: ≤10W

kungu

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Hakuna Matata

Re: SkyBox F3 Cheap HD receiver from China

« Reply #47 on: July 17, 2012, 08:57:08 AM »

Quote

Quote from: Talenty on July 12, 2012, 05:09:33 PM

please tell me how to order for this box.

Good Morning Talenty,

You can purchase SkyBox f3 from the following links.... .http://www.szgeton.com/contacten.asp or http://www.yojiatech.com/a/Contact_Us/Contact_for_Sales/
Remember to request them to send the receiver as a Gift Sample so as to cut down on Duty Charges.

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kungu

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Posts: 32
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Hakuna Matata

Intelsat 7/10 C Band exploration...... Whats on and free2Air

« Reply #48 on: July 17, 2012, 10:04:47 AM »

Quote

Good Morning,

For those new in the game of satellites, The are currently a number of good free to air channels on different satellites.
Today we discover Intelsat 7/10 at 68.5°E C Band

Intelsat 7/10 c band offers a mix of Christian, Muslim religious TV channels, News, Sports and plus a mix of Asian channels.
Update!!!!!!!
Dubai tv, Dubai sports and Sama Dubai on Intelsat 7/10 c band, Frequency 3929 H 27487

Dubai tv offers late night movies in English and also televises series like TopGear during the day.
On Dubai Sports Channel you can watch live coverage of the 2012 Olympics, Tour de France and new season bundesliga matches plus more....

NHK news channel in both HD and SD version..

Al Jazeera News Channel...

Arirang Tv....

Family Christian Channels like... GOD TV plus.....
FETV...

Catholic channel EWTN ...

Hope tv.....

Muslim religious TV channels like Peace tv, Noor TV plus more...

Indian Movie, News,Music Channels plus more.....

Dubai Media INC. will launch 6 free Sports Channels on Arabsat Satellites to broadcast the games and activities of the Olympic Games in London live, which will take place from July 27th to 12th August, seeking to provide the best Media services to its viewers via Free broadcast.

Rashed Al Amiri, Director of Dubai Sports Channel, stated that we are committed to our viewers across the five continent to provide them with the best available sports programming .Our Olympics viewers will enjoy a variety of sports games such as, basketball, handball, gymnastics and other competitions during 2012 London Olympics.

Khaled bin Ahmed Balkheyour President & CEO of Arabsat, said that we are pleased to develop our partnership with Dubai Media INC. and to watch its continuous development, and we assure them our commitment to provide them with the best services available.

ALL NETWORK CHEAT

2012-07-18T05:27:00.001-07:00

MTN NEW YOUR-FREEDOM CHEAT

STEP 1: GOTO http://www.your-freedom.net/index.php?id=170&L=0 AND REGISTER AN ACCOUNT IF YOU DONT HAVE ONE : PLS NOTE THE USERNAME AND PASSWORD

STEP2 : DOWNLOAD THIS VERSION OF FREEDOM http://www.your-freedom.net/ems-dist/yf-install_20120712-02.exe BUT IF YOU DONT HAVE JAVA RUN-TIME ON YOUR PC THEN DOWNLOAD THIS : http://www.your-freedom.net/ems-dist/freedom-20120712-02.exe AND IGNORE THE FIRST LINK
STEP3: INSTALL THE SOFTWARE

STEP4: CONFIGURE LIKE THIS

CLICK ON CONFIGURE , ON YF SERVER ADDRESS USE ems04.your-freedom.de PORT 53 , CONNECTION MODE DNS , TWEAK NIGERIA MTN , IN THE OPTION CLICK ONLY BOXES 1 ,3 , 6 AND 7 AND LEAVE EVERY OTHER THING LIKE THAT

NOW GOTO THE ACCOUNT INFORMATION TAB AND INSERT THAT YOUR USERNAME AND PASSWORD .I.E STEP 1
STEP 5: CONNECT YOUR MTN MODEM TO YOUR PC AND MAKE SURE YOU SET YOUR APN TO web.gprs.mtnnigeria.net AND THEN DIAL IT

STEP6:

NOW GOTO THAT YOUR-FREEDOM AND THEN CLICK START CONNECTION WAIT A FEW SECONDS AND YOU WILL BE CONNECTED]

FINALLY GOTO YOUR BROWSER AND SET THE PROXY TO 127.0.0.1 PORT 8080

NOTE: IT OPEN ALL SITES.

IT WILL BE SLOW BUT NOT TOO SLOW BECAUSE ITS 64Kb for free account . dont worry i will provide some free vouchers in this thread for a few people later today, also i may decide to share how to increase your speed without paying a kobo ETISALAT NEW CHEAT WITH ULTRASURF

STEP 1: DOWNLOAD THIS VERSION OF ULTRASULF HERE https://ultrasurf.us/download/u.zip
STEP2: INSTALL / RUN IT
STEP3 : CONNECT YOUR MODEM AND DIAL IT
STEP4: MAKE SURE ULTRASULF IS UP AND RUNNING
STEP5: SET ALL YOUR BROWSER TO NO PROXY
STEP 6 : MAKE SURE YOUUNTICK ALL THE BOXES IN IDM PROXY ELSE IDM WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD
STEP 7: MAKE SURE YOUCONNECT WITH 0.00NAIRA
FINALLY IF IT DOESN'T WORK THEN TRY RECONNECT ULTRASULF OR RECONNECT MODEM

STEP 1: DOWNLOAD THIS VERSION OF FREEGATE HERE http://us.dongtaiwang.com/loc/software/fg/731/fg731p.exe OR HERE http://us.dongtaiwang.com/loc/software/fg/731/fg731p.zip

STEP2: INSTALL / RUN IT

STEP3 : CONNECT YOUR MODEM AND DIAL IT

STEP4: MAKE SURE FREEGATE IS UP AND RUNNING

STEP5: SET ALL YOUR BROWSER TO NO PROXY or in freegate select load all websites through
freegate on the first page that
appeared.
Then in your browser use, ip:
127.0.0.1 and port 8580

STEP 6 : MAKE SURE YOU UNTICK ALL THE BOXES IN IDM PROXY ELSE IDM WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD

STEP 7: MAKE SURE YOU CONNECT WITH 0.00NAIRA

FINALLY IF IT DOESN'T WORK THEN RECONNECT FREEGATE OR RECONNECT MODEM

BEST OF LUCK

Etisalat is now Dishing 2GB Free Data bundle to all their Subscribers to browse with, I don't know if this is a Tweak or Just an Official Promo but the Fact is am Enjoying it on my PC and on Phone.

The 2GB Last for just a Month, So you have to Use it while it last.

HOW CAN I GET THE 2GB ON ETISALAT?
1. Just Dial *229*5*2* and you will be Suprised your Data bundle will be Projected to 2048MB which will last for a Month.

MOVIES AND MUSIC

2012-07-18T03:23:00.001-07:00

The maiden edition of what the organizers have planned as an annual event took place very recently. The venue was the very gorgeous Oriental Hotel's main event hall. The occasion itself was the showcase by Mango Nigeria, Etam and Ennzo

someone requested for bourne legacy through pm. the quality is not great, hope you'll enjoy it. download

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Nelson Mandela Turns 94

2012-07-18T02:52:00.002-07:00

The International icon and South African freedom fighter is 94 years old today, July 18. Congrats!

‘Movie Scarce’ Actress, Bisi Ibidapo Obe Pregnant, Acquires N7m Car Months After Buying N16m SUV

2012-07-16T04:42:00.002-07:00

Gist coming from the grapevines to *murobaba007.blogspot.com* says that sexy Yoruba actress, Bisi Ibidapo Obe (BIO) well known as *Bisi Omo Logba Logba*is presently expecting a baby. We were informed by a bird in the know that Bisi is doing everything possible to keep the baby. The beautiful actress, who was a living lover of Fuji music star, Wasiu Ayinde popularly known as KWAM 1, has also been romantically link with another Fuji star, Pasuma in the past. Bisi was also rumoured to have warmed the bed of Ibadan moneybag politician, Rotimi Ajanaku. Meanwhile, a source disclosed to *www... more »

Why Goldie Was Evicted From Big Brother Africa

2012-07-15T14:35:00.001-07:00

The year 2012 will go into records as the year Nigeria has the worst representation so far in the reality TV show, Big Brother Africa. murobaba007.blogspot.com observed that Nigerians won previous editions with seeming ease, but this time around the story is different. The two guys who represented the country, Ola and Chris, left on health grounds, leaving singer Golie as the only rep from Nigeria. Rather than focus on the prize as others before her did, observed that Goldie was busy frolicking with one guy called Prezzo. This pissed off her fans (those who should vote). ... more »

jokes

2012-07-15T06:13:00.001-07:00

In order to surprise her husband, the wife
of a company executive decided to stop by
her husband's office.
On entering the office, she saw the females
secretary sitting on her husband ’s laps.
In order to defend himself knowing he has
been caught red-handed,
the husband said shouting “budget cut or
no budget cut, management must do
something. I and my
secretary cannot be sharing this office with

just a single seat"!!

in an examination hall, a student all of a sudden left his seat and sat on d floor. surprisingly, d invigilator asked what could hav made him do dat. he replied, " question number 2 says without using table differentiate between civilian rule and military rule"

son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy.Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner.Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."

"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"

The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap.

A nigeria lady got married to a chinese guy, and gave birth to a son, d baby died after 5days. Her aunt started cryin sayin; l knew it, i knew it. A relative tuk her 2 a corna and ask her wat she meant by she knw it .she said . I no say china product no dey last, u no dey see their phones?

An Aboki man and an Igbo man went to an ATM machine to withdraw money....While the aboki man was withdrawing, the igbo man said, ''aboki u be mumu o!.... I don see ur password, your password na four x (****)''.

The aboki laughed at him and said, ''na u be mumu, my password na 5298 no be four x!!!

In a Biology paper, the students were asked to draw and label a female reproductive organ. Franca (a disco girl) found the question difficult. She open her skirt and started to draw, looking at her reproductive organ. Kate another female student was jealous that Franca may score higher mark than her, she raised her hand up and said to the invigilator: "Excuse me sir, this girl is copying from the original"

A call from a 419 guy with caller ID hidden:

Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?

I: Fine. Please, who am I speaking with?

Mr. 419: Haba, don"t you remember me? Who do you know in UK that could
be calling?

(Sensing a scam, I threw in a trap, )

I: Johnson! Is that you? (meanwhile, I don"t know any Johnson in UK
.)

(Thinking it"s a break, he swallows the bait)

Mr. 419 : Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn"t recognize my
voice initially?

(Certain it"s a scam, I decided to punish him verbally and financially.
I had the time that morning so I was going to assist him waste his call
credit.)

I: Jooooooohnson! You are a specially bad
boy. Your father died, you didn"t so much as show up or send a note.
Your children will repay you with such.
Didn"t you hear about his demise? H was so bitter and full of
original curses for you.

Mr. 419: (Obviously subdued) I didn"t hear. I would have come.

I: Too bad. You heard your mama is leprous too? You didn"t hear
about that?

Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn"t hear.

I: (Enjoying myself thoroughly). Too bad. Is your wife that foolish
too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our
blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?

Mr. 419: She"s fine. I"m certain she"ll get across to you. There"s an
issue,

(breaking in before he begins his story)

I: Johnson, you offended me. I sent you money to buy me
a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back?
You want me to curse you too like your father did? I don"t have his
kind of patience I"m sure you know. I won"t wait that long before I
give you what you deserve.

Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important,

I: Shut up!!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to
school, clothed you and sent you abroad, Are you now a 419?
Stealing from me your friend too. Your father was right to curse you,
And you can"t escape it if you continue like this. It"s not a curse.

Mr. 419: I"ll repay you.

After about 15 minutes of moves and countermoves, I owned up.

I: See Mr. 419, I don"t know any Johnson in UK . I just needed to
teach you a lesson. Go get a proper job.

Mr. 419: Madman, and
you"ve been cursing me since morning!

Disconnected

JULY QUESTIONS EXAM 2012:
Answer all question.
Note no calculator or any electronic devices.
Time:- 1hr:30mins only
SECTION 1:- OBJECTIVE
1) What is the name of the first Igbo boy that opened shop at Alaba international market?
(a) Don jazzy (B) Anyim Pius Anyim (c) Gov. Peter Obi
2) Who addressed herself as a widow while her husband is still alive?
(a)Jonathan Patience (B) Turai (c)Stella
3) Who Strike pass?
(a) BH Boys (B)Thunder (c) ASUU (d)Patience Dame
4) You can sharpen cutlass on Banky W’s head
(a) True (B) false (c) I don’t know
5) What are the names of the two people holding hands when you power-on a Nokia phone?
(a) Charly Boy and Denrele (B) Ryan Giggs and John Terry (C) OBJ and IBB
6) If the past tense of take is took, the past tense of make is
(a) Mook (B) maked (c) maken
7) I have a dream is to Luther King as I have no shoes is to …..
(a) GEJ (B) IBB (c) OBJ
8 ) What is the plural form of GARRI
(a) garris (B) garried (B) garium
9) If Adekunle Chukuwma Ciroma Finally Passes WAEC, will he write JAMB next year?
(a) No (B)Yes (c) He will opt for NURTW
10) Which University has the highest no. of babes that travel to Dubai for 2weeks and return with British accent?
(a)EBUs B)UNIJOS (c)UNIABJ (d) MAULAG
SECTION 2:- THEORY Attempt all questions.
(1a) Differentiate between Do or Die and if I don’t win the next election their will be blood shed.
(B) If it took Goodluck Ebele Jonathan 50years to trek to Aso rock without SHOES, how long will it take if he was putting on “CANVASS”
(2a) Using Almighty Formula, calculate the diameter of Banky W’s head (take ♊=3.14)
(B) If your X-Boyfriend or X-girlfriend Wins N100Million Naira In The Glo WINBIG Promo 2 Days After you Broke Up! FIND X! I Repeat! Find X”
(3a) If Ada is a girl, and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi?
(B) What are the surnames of the three statues that welcome you to Lagos?
Goodluck to you all.

A guy asked a girl in a library; “Do you mind if I sit beside you”. The girl answered with a loud voice I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUUU!!!”. All the students in the library started staring at theguy and he was embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and i know what a man is thinking, I guess u felt embarrassed right?
The guy with a loud voice said”5000 Naira JUST FOR ONE NIGHT HABA THAT’S TOO MUCH Ooo!!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears “I study law and I know how to make someone feel guilty.

Son: “Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this
beautiful girl!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter”
Father: “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to
tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of
months later.
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even
hotter!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that.
Angela is also your sister.”
This went on couple of times and the son was so
mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: “Mum, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because dad is
their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
“My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t
listen to him. He isn’t your father.

Entertainment News

2012-07-15T05:53:00.000-07:00

Multiple Tanker Explosion Rocks Rivers State

There were two heavy tanker explosions in different parts of the Rivers State: Abuloma and Rumuokehi on Friday.murobaba007.blogspot.com gathered that NEMA is already getting help from the fire service and multi-national companies in the state to battle that fire.

NEMA has successfully mobilize its personnel to the scenes of the two fire incidents.

"We have mobilised first responders to fire incidents in two locations in Rivers State - Rumouekehi and Abouluma," NEMA spokesperson, Yushau Shuaib, said.

The South-South Zonal Coordinator of NEMA, Umesi Emenike, said: "The fire started at about 8am from petroleum products; the first one involved about five tankers which were burnt down while the second was caused by an oil vessel. Our men are still on ground for rescue operations."

Unbelievable! Top Female Gospel Singer's Marriage Crashes

This is one story that affects me - Olu Famous - personally in the sense that I love this lady's songs so much that any day I don't play her CD in my car, either to or from work, I kind of feel uncomfortable.

In fact, Olufamous.com is yet to come to terms with the ugly trend playing out in our society today. In the days of old, our grand fathers were known to have married 2, 3, 4 or move wives and they lived happily with their wives (or wife) till physical death separate them.

But, unfortunately, the reverse has become the case in our time....
It seems the marriage of popular female gospel singer, Mrs Wunmi Awoniyi, a.k.a Omo Emi, has crashed irredeemably as her husband, Prophet Samuel Awoniyi has filed a divorce suit before the Orile Agege Grade ‘B’ Customary Court in Lagos.

He is seeking the dissolution of the marriage on the ground of her alleged shameful acts.

The action was first mentioned on 22 June, 2012. But Wunmi, who became famous because of her popular record, “Gbogo Mi Fun Mi” has never appeared in court even though she was reportedly served the summons at her parents’ home in Akure, the Ondo State capital and another was despatched to her by courier, a week later.

The court bailiff testified that she had been served twice but she has failed to appear in court since the suit was instituted.

Speaking during the last sitting on Tuesday, Wunmi’s husband, Prophet Samuel Awoniyi prayed the court to restrain the gospel singer from parading herself as Mrs. Awoniyi henceforth.

“Wunmi had since November 10, 2010 packed out of her matrimonial home and has since been engaging herself in many shameful acts which the Awonoyi family is not known for.

“She even went about duping people with my name. Awoniyi is a popular and respected Christian family in Nigeria. Wunmi has decided not to marry me again because according to her I am not rich and she has found richer men. So why must she continue to bear my name, let her go back to her father,” Awoniyi complained.

Awoniyi has prayed the court for dissolution of his marriage to Wunmi and to have access to the only child of the marriage, Michael.

The court president, J. O. Adewusi said the case has suffered several adjournments because the court wanted to observe due process.

He adjourned the matter till August 2nd, 2012 for hearing and ordered the bailiff to serve fresh hearing notice on the respondent, Wunmi.