Naija Laugh Out Loud

Naija Fresh Jokes

2012-01-19T10:37:00.000-08:00

A lady saw her boss's pant's zip open
.
Lady : Sir, ur garage door is open
.
Boss : Did u see my ferrari?
.
Lady : No, i saw a small bike with 2 punctured wheels.

Naija Jokes: James and his Boss

2012-01-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

James is a house boy who drinks his
Boss's wine then adds water. His Boss
became suspicious and decided to
change the brand of his wine, as usual
James drank from the wine and added water to it. Immediately the wine became milky and he knew he was in
trouble. When his Boss came back
and saw the changed wine, he knew he had
nailed James.
James knowing he was in trouble decided to stay in the
kitchen.
The Boss having told his wife what he
observed now swung into action.
"James!" he called from the sitting room.
He answered: "Yes Boss". "Who
drank my wine? James didn't answer. The Boss asked again, still no answer.
Then His Boss went to the kitchen to meet him there: "Are you insane or what?
Why when I called, you said" yes
boss" but wen I asked you a question you didn't answer me? " James replied, "hmmmmmm oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything at all except
your name" "Is that so?"asked his boss,"Okay, go to the bar stand beside
Madam, while I go into the kitchen
then, you ask me a question" James
accepted. When his boss was in the
kitchen he shouts: "Boss". "Yes, James"
Boss answers. James then asks,"Who
goes into Aunty Yetunde's bedroom
when Madam is not at home?" No
answer. James shouted again:"Boss, I say who dey sneak into Aunty Yetunde’s
room when madam no dey house?" No
answer. The Boss runs back from the kitchen
shouting " Wonders shall never end
ooooooooooooooo! James, It's true
ooooo, when one is in the kitchen, he doesn't hear anything
except one's
name." The wife now very angry
interrupted, "that's not true. It's
a lie!"
James asked if she'll enter the magic
kitchen and be tested and she agreed.
James asks madam, "Who's junior's biological father? Me or My Boss? "Madam rushed out of the
kitchen."This kitchen needs to be fumigated
oooooooooooo! I can't
understand anything at all."

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Naija Jokes: Questions To Bill Gates

2012-01-19T09:38:00.000-08:00

Bill Gates has resigned as the chairman of microsoft after receiving a letter from A school boy..
BOY : Dear sir i have some questions for you;
1)The keyboard alphabets are not in order. When will you launchthe correct version?
2)There is a start button but nothing to stop.
3) I have learnt MS Word when will you launch MS Sentence?
4)There is recycle bin
but no rescooter bin why?
5)And finally a personal question. Why is your name Gates eventhough you sell Windows?

Naija Jokes

2012-01-19T09:17:00.000-08:00

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
"Hello, Could you give me condom? I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"
The pharmacist gives him the Condom and as the young man
was going out; he returned and said, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very Cute too" . She always crosses her
legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it
lucky there too."
The pharmacist gave him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turnfd back and said, "Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes,
and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting me to
make a move!
During dinner, the young man was sitting, with his girlfriend by
his left, the sister by his right and the
mum facing him . When the dad got
there, the boy lowers his head and started praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give Us."
A minute later the boys was still praying; "and thank you Lord
for your Kindness." Ten minutes gone and the boy was still Praying, keeping his head down.
The others looked at each other surprised and his girlfriend was
more surprised than the others. She got close to the boy and said in
his ear, ”I didn't know you were so religious." The boy replied, "I didn't know your DAD wasa pharmacist.

Joke: License To Beat

2012-01-19T09:10:00.000-08:00

An Igbo man was given his wife the beating of her life, so the woman was shouting calling for help. Incidentally a
family friend came in. The woman was
so happy, thinking she has gotten a helper. The man said to the husband "mbá
nwokem, anaghi etizikwa umunwanyi ihe ugbua ..."
Meaning "You don't beat women these
days, u marry a second wife for them".
The woman just looked at the man and said to her Husband "Papa Emeka don't listen to him CONTINUE BEATING ME".

2012-01-19T09:09:00.001-08:00

He took her to the room and removed her subsidy. She tried to protest but he was a major contest, she
even threatened to
strike but he struck back, he sucked her
excess account and squeezed her lovely
economy. Her
labour was in vain, wat a shame.
He went on to deregulate her downstream sector dat was oily, she couldn't say anything. She cried cos he did it
97times. We all are witnesses to jonathans rape of the
masses.

Love Subsidy

2012-01-19T09:01:00.000-08:00

New ways to express your love to your darling:
Darling, I Miss you like N65 per litre. In my Eyes you are like 50litres of fuel so Precious & rare. I'll neva remove Subsidy on my Luv 4 U If you leave me i'll occupy Nigeria until i get you back.

Career choice

2012-01-19T08:54:00.000-08:00

UNCLE: Ah, junior long
time!. How re u doing
BOY: I'm ok, thank u..I
Came looking for
admission to realise mydream of becoming a doctor&with ur help sir, I
believe it wont be
difficult.
UNCLE: I see, how was ur o'level? BOY: fine oo!. Two credit sir, igbo&agric..here maths-F9, english-F9, phy-F9,
chem-F9, bio- F9, agric-C6,
igbo-C6
UNCLE: Laughing!!! You can still be a doctor but a native doctor, use your credit in agric to look for herbs & igbo to chant incantations.