NAME REMOVED the webcomic

Comic: Rabot's Growth Disorder (leads to disaster)

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Rabot's Growth Disorder (leads to disaster) (2009-11-13)

Adventure time

No complaints about the anatomy, okay? He's a mutated monster. Lumpy and grotesque.

There's a special fancy bonus for voting at Top Web Comics this weekend: the next page in this strange story. Just a tone and layout sketch, but it's got Dr Quickly and Rabish as humans so that's kind of fun.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

[[ Helicopter gunships attack a mutated musclebound Rabot. He responds by picking up a large chunk of paving. ]] << CRACK >> [[ Rabot throws the paving. Bullets ricochet at his feet. ]] << TAK TAK TAK >> [[ The paving slices through a helicopter, another continues to fire. ]] << CRAKOOM BRRRRRT >>

Comic: Rabot's Growth Disorder (double pinocchio syndrome)

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Rabot's Growth Disorder (double pinocchio syndrome) (2009-11-11)

Relationship Problems

I'm not bitter or anything, honest, but it's really hard to have a positive mutually respectful relationship with a poster of a celebrity.

Go and vote at Top Web Comics even though there isn't a new incentive. Do it!

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

Rabot: Hey honey! Sorry I'm so late, I had to finish some work up at the office. << SHUNK >> Rabot: Buh! Rabot: Okay, uh, I went to a strip club with the guys. << SHUNK >> Rabot: I hope you don't get mad! It sure wasn't MY idea! << SHUNK >> Rabot: ... Rabot: Anyway, I'm super looking forward to spending another evening with you! << SHUNK >> Rabot: Phew! I just have to stay like this and everything will be fine. << SHUNK >> Rabot: AGH! Rabot: Please don't like at me like that, baby! I don't know what's going on!! << SHUNK >>

Comic: Rabot's Growth Disorder (is a dog)

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Rabot's Growth Disorder (is a dog) (2009-11-09)

Puberty

Parents should talk to their kids about this kind of thing.

Continuity buffs will be interested to note that this comic takes place prior to Sticky (river) (I fixed that link).

Folks who submit suggestions will be interested to note that this week's contribution was submitted in June 2008. I'll get to them all eventually!

Voting at Top Web Comics will give you a strange little story about where cats come from, or what size cats there are, or something.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

Dr Quickly: You're at the age where things like this start to happen... Dr Quickly: It's probably just a natural step in your body's development! Dr Quickly: And anyway he's such a good boy! Aren't you! Aren't you a good boy!! Rabish: So are you like a centaur or something? Rabot: N-no? Noel: Does the sign SAY "No Pets Except For If They're A Medical Condition"? Rabot: N-no? Rabot: Hey! No! That's my dinner!! Rabot: If it really is normal I wish my parents had talked to me about it. I should call them. Dog: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK Rabot: Well I'm calling you NOW, aren't I?! Can you just put Dad on the line?

Comic: Mustard Genie (beach party)

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Mustard Genie (beach party) (2009-11-06)

Winter is not summer

Apparently I'm supposed to stare into this wide-spectrum lamp every day until my eyes hurt. "When your eyes hurt" is the recommended dosage. Apparently.

The voting incentive this weekend is a whole bunch of additional fun beach party wishes.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

Mustard Genie: How about instead of mustard... a wish! Rabid: A kickin' ride with monster bass! Mustard Genie: Rad! Rabish: Beach holiday! Mustard Genie: A great idea!! Dr Quickly: Ice cold beers! Li'l Beefy: Fun games with friends! Mustard Genie: Aww! Noel: Real food. Rabot: A tan. Mustard Genie: Neat! Space Frog: AN OCEAN OF SAUSAGES Space Frog: HEY LOOK WE AL WISHED FOR THE SAME THING

Comic: Mustard Genie (is the hardest part of the level)

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Mustard Genie (is the hardest part of the level) (2009-11-04)

Carnage

There should be more video games about peaceful exploration. Building mental maps of beautiful and fantastic architecture is one of my favourite pastimes and it's a darn shame I usually have to take on the persona of a psychotic mass-murderer to do it.

On that note, if you vote at Top Web Comics you can see the Score Result Screen for Rabid's attempt at this level.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

[[ A soldier is dead on the ground some distance from a smoking crashed airplane. ]] [[ More soldiers are dead next to the airplane and a discarded parachute. A grappling hook is attached to a line running down a cliff. In the distance, across a jungle, is a strange castle. ]] [[ The castle seen from a gap in the trees, in the jungle. ]] [[ A ninja is dead by a stream in the jungle. ]] [[ Up the steps to the castle, many dead soldiers. ]] [[ By a gate and a fountain, many more dead soldiers. ]] [[ Inside the castle, a secret passage has been revealed. A scientist with a raygun lies disembowelled. ]] [[ A tricky navigation of traps and corridors. ]] [[ A hefty soldier with a minigun is impaled by a support shaft. ]] << SQUICH >> [[ Rabid, waist deep in mustard, is squirting a bottle. ]] [[ It only contained mustard. To the next bottle! ]] << SQUICH >> [[ There are a lot of bottles to check. ]] [[ A very large amount of bottles still to check. ]]

Comic: Mustard Genie (not a space genie)

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Mustard Genie (not a space genie) (2009-11-02)

Condiment Powers

I have never once in my life said "be careful what you wish for -- it just might come true!" in anything but the most unserious ironical way.

It's a crazy thing to think.

Vote at top web comics to see an interesting chart about condiment genies of various kinds. Yeah! There are a bunch of different ones!

Did you know we made it to #150 on the All Time Most Excellent Forever Always Comic list last month? Thank you for voting! Keep voting and we'll make it to the top slot and be champions and then I can sell you tshirts or something.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

Mustard Genie: You've freed me! Make a wish!! Rabid: You're out of mustard. Mustard Genie: Dude, wait! A wish! Hey! Rabot: They probably think you're going to ask for money. City folk. Rabot: Oh, and I wish for more mustard. << pat pat >> Mustard Genie: Sigh. Mustard Genie: So... why don't you ever wish for riches? Rabot: You kidding? I know about genies, kid, you're just gonna trick me. Mustard Genie: Man, I thought we were friends. That is seriously rude. Mustard Genie: Only SPACE genies do that. Rabot: Ohhhh. Rabot: My kingdom has crumbled into dust, only a hot dog stand remains. Space Frog: I HELPED YOU LEARN A LESSON ABOUT WISH AND UH LOVE

Comic: IKEA Ancestors (and other classic horror films)

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500

IKEA Ancestors (and other classic horror films) (2009-10-30)

Happy Halloween!

I can't sit through "OOPS! ALL BUGS" but the rest of them are a blast. Okay the scene in "A Horrible Sneaky Beast" where the suckers pull the skin off... anyway! No spoilers.

Vote at Top Web Comics to get instructions on pumpkin carving the whole gang! It's fun for the whole family.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

Announcer: THRILL TO THE NAME REMOVED HALLOWEEN HORROR SEXTUPLE FEATURE! YOU'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT!! [[ Rabid espies a humiliating chair made out of bones. ]] Rabid: The fools! Such disrespect for my ancestors. [[ Rabid lifts a floor tile and at a glance can detect trouble. ]] Rabid: Why, this IKEA is built on an ancient round-yellow-head burial ground! We've got to get out of here!! [[ Lightning strikes, the dead rise, it's too late. ]] Announcer: A BLOOD THIRST ... QUENCHED BY BLOOD! THE RISE OF THE IKEA ANCESTORS Rabid: This ottoman would look great in our living room! Rabid: It's so comfy! Rabish: Does it come in any other colours? Space Frog: GET OFFA MY STUMP Announcer: BEWARE THE VENGEFUL STUMP OF... THE HEADLESS HORSE-SPACE-FROG Rabid: Excuse me, sir, do you work here? Rabish: How'd it get so dark? Rabid: Sir? We'd like to order some kitchen cabinets... [[ BUT HE HAS NO FACE!!! ]] Dr Quickly: MMMFFFFF Announcer: SHUDDER IN FEAR! QUAKE IN HORROR! AT... THE MAN WITHOUT A FACE Rabid: These meatballs taste weird. [[ Many worms come out of the half-eaten meatball. ]] Rabid: Oh hell no! [[ Many worms come out of Rabid. ]] Announcer: YOU WON'T FINISH YOUR POPCORN... IT'LL FINISH YOU!! OOPS! ALL BUGS Rabish: How'd I get into the basement? Rabid? Are you down here too? Voice: I'M DOWN HERE Rabish: Why is your voice totally different? Voice: I DUNNO IT'S TOO HARD TO TELL Rabish: Okay! Announcer: YOU'LL NEVER FEEL SAFE IN DANK CAVES FILLED WITH CORPSES AGAIN! A HORRIBLE SNEAKY BEAST Rabid: I feel like this is a big, appropriate step in our relationship, buying furniture together. Rabish: Hee hee! Rabid: Let us celebrate, passionately. Rabish: What, here? Okay!! Rabish: OW!! << BITE >> Announcer: THE PERFECT DATE MOVIE (not suitable for persons under 18 unless "mature for their age") RELATIONSHIP WITH A VAMPIRE

Comic: IKEA Ancestors (Lengijarn Mestrbein)

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500

IKEA Ancestors (Lengijarn Mestrbein) (2009-10-28)

A most terrible fate

When resurrected into the body of a distant ancestor, it's always a good idea to pig out at a bistro. You can skip the horse meat I guess if you feel that way but are you really going to have that dried-out demi poulet à l'estragon instead?

There is a "bonus comic" to read about the kitchen staff behind the scenes of today's comic if you vote at Top Web Comics.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

Rabish: I can't believe you're okay with a computer table called "JERKER". [[ Rabid is distracted, seeing the new DESEKRATOR chair. ]] [[ He reaches out for it. ]] Rabish: Isn't the seat a bit high for you? [[ He touches it. ]] The Ghost of Lengijarn Mestrbein: HA HA! I HAVE RETURNED!! The Ghost of Lengijarn Mestrbein: We shall roast a dozen horses in honour of the sea-hag who preserved me. Rabish: Ew! Space Frog: ONE ENTIRE HORSE AN EXCELLENT CHOICE SIR DO YOU WANT SWEET POTATO OR REGULAR FRITES The Ghost of Lengijarn Mestrbein: What The Ghost of Lengijarn Mestrbein: This horseflesh is sweet and tender -- why are you eating worms instead? Rabish: Snails. The Ghost of Lengijarn Mestrbein: Not bad food for a tavern filled with argr cattle-fondlers! Space Frog: I KNOW RIGHT The Ghost of Lengijarn Mestrbein: NO! THE MAGIC FADES! I DIE AGAIN! WHAT ABOUT MY TARTE TATIN?!

Comic: IKEA Ancestors (Rabid's Oddysee)

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500

IKEA Ancestors (Rabid's Oddysee) (2009-10-26)

Mmm, New and Tasty

Okay so this comic might not make any sense if you haven't played the really neat Oddworld games. You can get the first two on Steam for like ten bucks. I highly recommend them! (Apparently the second two are going to shew up on Steam soon, too. Yay!)

You can read about Space Frog's parallel adventure at a more high-end furniture store if you vote at Top Web Comics.

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

[[ Rabid sees an Ancestor Chair next to a bird portal. ]] Rabid: Wait! Rabish: Okay. Rabid: chant chant chant [[ Rabid shoves the Ancestor Chair into the newly opened bird portal.]] << shove! >> Rabid: Hello! Rabish: Hello! Rabid: Follow me! Rabish: Okay! Rabish: Wait, weren't we going to stop in the dishware section?

Comic: Rabish Quits Cooking (abandon capital)

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Rabish Quits Cooking (abandon capital) (2009-10-23)

Fay ce que voudras

Well it's true: every aspect of our culture is tainted by the systemic need to make exchange value the basic metric. The enzyme corrodes popular culture first, and eventually tears everything down to be rebuilt. Rest assured in the eutopia there will still be baristas, but for a while it won't make sense to be one.

Not until the future baristas figure out why they should do that even though there's "opportunity cost" with every movement through life.

Vote at top web comics to see a prequel to this very comic. A whole other comic! How can you resist?

Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations

Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!

Transcription:

Rabish: I'm wasting my life... Radio Announcer: It seems Rabish's resignation has had a profound and immediate effect on the television industry, as the vast majority of those employed in the field have left with the rest projected to follow. No word on how the "pied piper" herself is faring... Radio Announcer: ... and if you're worried us radio folks are going to quit too then maybe you should stop being so self-centered! GOODBYE FOREVER! Dr Quickly: Ha! I got zinged!! Space Frog: I HAVE ABANDONED MY FOLK TROUBADOR CAREER IN FAVOUR OF TAKING DIRECT ACTION FOR THE PUBLIC GOOD Noel: Hey, that's why I gave up my lucrative career in erotic fiction! Rabid: It's really nice to be able to enjoy a Venti(tm) Starbucks(tm) Java Chip Frappuchino(tm) without the godawful in-store music blaring. Rabot: Yeah... Rabot: But imagine how much better it'd be if you made it yourself! Rabid: You don't need to pay for your groceries. Rabish: I... why? I didn't do anything special. Rabid: Ha! I do recognize you, but it's our new store policy: take what you want, considering the needs of others. Rabish: Swell! [[ Another happy society evolving into eutopian post-capitalism thanks to the healthy action and great taste of DR QUICKLY brand PEACEFUL ANARCHO-SOCIALIST REVOLUTION ENZYME!! now available in gel-cap! ASK YOUR PHARMACIST TODAY!! ]]