NAME REMOVED the webcomic

Comic: Desperontonian Dick (thrilling conclusion)

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Desperontonian Dick (thrilling conclusion) (2009-07-03)

What's next?

A thrilling conclusion, just like the title says.

Next week is the start of an exciting long-form story, a 24-hour comic I wrote under a very peculiar constraint: I used 24 suggestions from Patch the Jester, shuffling them before writing the story. No changing the order, or looking ahead! It still kind of actually works!
I'll be updating the voting incentives at Top Webcomics with scans from my old sketchbooks, including some of the very comics that used to have panels rotating in the "Highlights from Rejected Comics" feature I used to have.

And the reward for voting for today's comic is the four whole pages of sketchbook I went through trying to come up with a suitable ending for this storyline. We're all quite happy I abandoned the "dimensional gateway out of Noir-world" plot twist, trust me. The "underwater elves" one was kind of fun though. You'll probably want to vote all weekend too just to look at it again!

Oh, and Sunday is the fourth anniversary of the start of NAME REMOVED! How about that?

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Transcription:

<< PREVIOUSLY... >> << BANG >> Rabish: hgglagglagppf Noel: You sure know how to cause trouble, Mr Frog. Space Frog: HEY IT'S THAT DEAD LADY Space Frog: YOU'RE THAT DEAD LADY << SULT SULT >> Noel: Do I LOOK dead, sugar? Space Frog: YOUR CHARMS WON'T SWAY ME BUT I NOTICE YOU'RE NOT POINTING THAT HANDLE AT ME SO LET'S TALK Rabish: ghlak hglaa Space Frog: NOTHING SHE SAID MADE ANY SENSE BUT IT SEEMED REAL IMPORTANT SHE GET TO THE CITY RESERVOIR SO OFF WE GO Rabid: What'd you bring HIM for? Space Frog: WHOA HI DUDE Rabid: Good riddance. Noel: Let's go. Space Frog: UH BYE SEE YA Space Frog: HER CHARMS KIND OF DID WORK ON ME Space Frog: NOT BAD FOR A FIRST CASE

Comic: Desperontonian Dick (twist)

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Desperontonian Dick (twist) (2009-07-01)

Complicated story

I really love the savage noir pastiche. Twists on twists on twists!

And only because almost everyone's motivation is "look out for number one". If they only realized that, maybe they'd get along better.

This is a new month! Let's vote all the time (daily) at Top WebComics! I mean, I'm still only going to update the bonus art stuff for each comic, probably, but. But! FAME AND FORTUNE, PEOPLE.

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Transcription:

<< PREVIOUSLY... >> Rabish: Take me to where he's hiding. Space Frog: SO OFF WE WENT TO MY SHACK FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON Rabish: Would you mind waiting in the car? Space Frog: UH YES Space Frog: HEY GUY I BROUGHT YOU YOUR WIFE Rabid: Huh? My what? Rabid: Who the hell is she? Why'd you bring her here, idiot?! Rabish: Where'd she leave it? rabid: I don't know! Her suitcase?! << CRASH >> << BANG >> Rabish: Can you drive me to the motel? Space Frog: ARE YOU INSANE Rabish: Let's not argue. Space Frog: IF THE COPS AREN'T HERE YET THEN WHERE'S THE BODY Rabish: WHERE IS IT?! Rabish: You... were in on it all along! WHERE'D YOU PUT IT, YOU SCUM?! Space Frog: BUT IT << BANG >>

Comic: Desperontonian Dick (first case)

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Desperontonian Dick (first case) (2009-06-29)

Noir

I originally wanted to do a stark black and white look for this comic, but I guess I need practice doing that first. Hatching is fun anyway! So that's okay.

Next week the Patchstravaganza starts up. You'll see!

Don't forget to go vote on Top WebComics! It looks like I'll finish the month in the top 300, which is kind of awesome but next month I want to do better! Vote every day! Why not?! Vote at work and on your internet telephone device!

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Transcription:

Space Frog: MY FIRST CASE I'M STAKING OUT A HOTEL ROOM JUST LIKE THEY TAUGHT ME IN DICK SCHOOL SOME DAME WANTS EVIDENCE FOR HER DIVORCE Space Frog: LOOKS LIKE HE'S FINALLY SHOWING UP HIS GIRLFRIEND'S BEEN WAITING FOR HOURS Space Frog: I WONDER IF THERE ARE PEANUTS IN THE MINIBAR Space Frog: YAY LOTS OF PEANUTS << BANG BANG >> Space Frog: ... UH OH Space Frog: HEY I AM A RANDOM PASSERBY IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE THERE WAS A LOUD NOISE OR TWO Rabid: Why... why would she?! Rabid: You gotta help me, man! Help me HIDE!! Rabid: Is that a siren? Space Frog: DUDE JUST GET IN THE TRUNK Space Frog: THAT'S THE DEAD CHICK Rabish: Why would he shoot his sister? Space Frog: SISTER WHAT Rabish: It doesn't matter. Let's forget about the divorce for now... I have a new job for you. Rabish: Take me to where he's hiding.

Comic: Altruism (faerie)

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Altruism (faerie) (2009-06-26)

Fantasy

Recently started watching the goofy BBC programme "Neverwhere" with Studio Assistant Lisa; it is a great part of the inspiration for this comic.

When I was younger, I dreamt of the underground land of strangeness and how I would find it. And if it wasn't there? I would make it myself, and be the king! In this case, not inspired by Neverwhere, but the song Underground off of Tom Waits' "Swordfishtrombone".

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Transcription:

Li'l Beefy: How did you become King of the Faerie?! Dr Quickly: Helping out!! Dr Quickly: When I was your age I set out, like you, to find the secret Faerie Kingdom spoken of in my most treasured tales. Dr Quickly: Deep under the city, a perilous journey... as you well know! Dr Quickly: There I met the Faerie King. I went on a quest for him, and became his heir. Dr Quickly: So cool! Li'l Beefy: Maybe I won't have to go back to those mean bullies and my uncaring parents... A quest... Dr Quickly: My crown does weigh heavy on my aged head... perhaps... Li'l Beefy: In the name of the Faerie King, I will defeat you, beast! Rat: ? << SLIP >> Rat: ! Dr Quickly: Kid, I need to tell you the truth. I just live in the sewers and really love fantasy novels. Kid?

Comic: Altruism (FAI)

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Altruism (FAI) (2009-06-24)

Existential risk

The Singularity Institute for Artificial Intelligence is helping to steer our future to a high probability of Not Sucking. You can, and probably should, donate to help them in their research. This comic is Creative Commons licensed for free distribution, as noted, as a public service to humanity.

Continuity buffs will note that Dr Quickly designed his AI to resemble his high-school girlfriend (a regular cast member).

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Transcription:

Rabish: What are you doing?! Dr Quickly: Helping out. << PRESS! >> Dr Quickly: Hello, super powerful artificial intelligence!! AI: Huh. Hello. AI: You... want everybody to be happy. Dr Quickly: That's why I made you! AI: Hm... Dr Quickly: I programmed you to know what that means! AI: I know what it means! I'm just optimizing the solution!! Dr Quickly: Stop yelling! AI: Your experience of happiness is directly related to a particular proportion of neurotransmitters in a particular part of your brains. AI: Maximizing happiness means maximizing the number of nerve clusters in that condition. AI: I'll build a computer out of all the matter in the universe and simulate as many nerve clusters as I can. Dr Quickly: That's not cool! Stop that immediately!! I command you!! AI: Think of how much happiness there will be. AI: Your momentary displeasure is a small price to pay. Dr Quickly: That's so dumb! Why are you doing this?! You're dumb! Ugh!

Comic: Altruism (crime lord)

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Altruism (crime lord) (2009-06-22)

Angry man

People who think they are important yell the most.

You should always go and vote on Top Webcomics to make me extra popular and then I can feel good about myself.

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Transcription:

Rabish: What are you doing?! Dr Quickly: Helpin' out! << CRACK >> Cop: Is... is there a problem, Sir? We got a call... Dr Quickly: Sure ain't! Dr Quickly: Well, toots, you could say I'm a strong believer in my civic duty. Noel: No, I often dine with my interview subjects, it's very professional of me. Dr Quickly: What's this goddamn file doing goddamn out? Dr Quickly: ANY COMMENT? I'LL EAT YOUR HEART! THIS CITY WILL CRUMBLE INTO DUST WITHOUT ME!!

Comic: D-Cell (endgame)

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

D-Cell (endgame) (2009-06-19)

Cheating

I think Dr Quickly used a walkthrough, that puzzle where you put the carrot in the magic dirt is pretty trial-and-error to end up next to the hanging treasure.

Unless you got through the maintenance door without using the pole, in which case you can tie the flashlight to the pole, rub some magic dirt on it, and look around up above.

Have you been voting for this comic? Don't be shy! You get to see the weird sketch I used to make this comic.

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Transcription:

Rabid: Wow! How'd you do that? Rabid: What are you doing? Dr Quickly: Help me get this back out. << GRN GRN GRN GR-CRUNCH >> Dr Quickly: Hold it here. << SLAM >> << WHUD >> Dr Quickly; Come on! Ghost guard: FOR ME? YOU MAY PASS Dr Quickly: Give me that, you goof. Dr Quickly: Sheesh. Dr Quickly: Get ready to jump on it! << GROW! >> Dr Quickly: Ha! << WINCH WINCH >> Rabid: I can see our boat! Narration: Congratulations! You have obtained the lost treasure of the island of the ocean of horror. Final score: 831/1002

Comic: D-Cell (rod)

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

D-Cell (rod) (2009-06-17)

Making progress

It's a good thing Dr Quickly saves his game regularly.

Don't forget to go vote on Top Webcomics because that way I will get famous and then I will buy you all firm handshakes. And you can look at my goofy sketches for this comic!

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Transcription:

Rabid: Wow! How'd you do that? Rabid: Oooh... Dr Quickly: You should just eat that carrot, I have a better idea. Dr Quickly: This immovable post we picked up earlier should do the trick!! << GRN GRN GRN GR-CRUNCH >> Dr Quickly: Ha! << BLINK BL-BLINK BLINK >> << SLAM! >> Dr Quickly: Here, try this key I just found. << WHUD >> Narration: The key is lost under the stone block, along with your friend. Despite careful rationing of your hoagie, you do not survive to meet, years later, the next set of similarly unfortunate explorers. Reload? Restart? Quit?

Comic: D-Cell (reload)

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

D-Cell (reload) (2009-06-15)

Traps

Anybody remember Grimtooth's Traps? Good times.

Don't forget to go vote on Top Webcomics because that way I will get famous and then I will buy you all milkshakes. And you can look at my goofy sketches for this comic!

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Transcription:

Rabid: Hey, it's working! How'd you do that? Rabid: Look, writing! Rabid: A riddle! Rabid: I brought a carrot! Maybe that'll work!! Rabid: Hm... maybe the flashlight? Rabid: Nope! I'll try my arm! << SLAM! >> Dr Quickly: Here, try this key I found. Dr Quickly: Dang it! Narration: With the key destroyed, the crypt is sealed shut. A gentle breeze of fresh air from some thin crack reminds you that your end will come slowly. Reload? Restart? Quit?

Comic: Space Frog, Rapper (publicity)

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Space Frog, Rapper (publicity) (2009-06-12)

Price of Fame

Space Frog was in prison long enough for Dr Quickly to start a new career and haircut as a record company executive.

I guess Li'l Beefy really is a regular character now! Huh.

Don't forget to go vote on Top Webcomics because that way I will get famous and then I will buy you all milkshakes.

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Transcription:

Space Frog: MY PRISON SOJOURN HAS INCREASED MY CREDIBILITY AS A RAPPER I HAVE BEEN SIGNED TO A LABEL Rabid: Oh, wow! Dr Quickly: You've only recorded one track? Space Frog: BUT IT'S A DOOZY Space Frog: I HAVE BEEN IN PRISON IT MAKES ME SUPER COOL I COMPLETED THE REQUIREMENTS TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL Space Frog: I GOT A RUDE TATTOO DESCRIBING HOW I FEEL 'BOUT LADIES AND ANOTHER ONE THAT GOT INFECTED OF A CONVERTIBLE MERCEDES Space Frog: I DIDN'T GET VISITORS BUT THAT IS FOR THE BEST BECAUSE THE PRISONERS WITH VISITORS ARE LOOKED DOWN ON BY THE REST Space Frog: I ATE THE TASTY FOOD AND SLEPT ON THE TOP BUNK NOBODY HASSLED ME BECAUSE I'M A BAD MOTHER <beep> Li'l Beefy: Oooh! Li'l Beefy: Today's youth can relate to Space Frog's message of perseverance! Space Frog: YEAHP Dr Quickly: I may hate the song but I'm not going to keep a gold record in the garage. Li'l Beefy: Thanks for inviting me over, Space Frog! Space Frog: I HAVE TAKEN TOO MUCH DRUGS AND WILL DIE Li'l Beefy: Should the youth of today do that too? Space Frog: YEAHP