You will find my new articles published on that platform from here on out.

Why the move?

Well, it’s a long story, but mostly, it was time for a few changes. I am excited about the move and hope to continue our conversations on Substack.

I realize change can be hard, unsettling, and even disappointing, but it can also be a good thing and deepen connections we’ve formed.

I can’t imagine doing this without you, so be sure to subscribe so we can stay connected.

Subscribe below:

Also, be sure to visit my new author website! I would love to know what you think of it!

NOTE: This site will remain as is and I will be maintaining it and responding to comments as well.

Thank you for continuing to support my writing and advocacy on Substack, too!

See you there!

(And yes, it’s FREE!)

P.S. Even if you decide to opt out of subscribing, you can always read my posts on Substack.com. Just search Nancy’s Point or Nancy Stordahl and you’re there! And yes, you can comment, like, and share too.

Click on the above image to learn more!

How do you handle change – do you go with the flow, or is it hard for you?

Will you be following my ramblings on Substack?

Why or why not?

Change can be hard. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t change. For the most part, change is a good thing. I’m excited about two big changes, and I hope you will be too!

The first change I want to let you know about is that I have a brand new author website. Finally.

It only took me nearly ten years to get one going. But who’s counting, right? Speedy I am not. But then, you know me. I’ve always been a bit of a procrastinator. Maybe this new site isn’t so much a change as it is an addition.

Any author who wants to be taken seriously as an author needs an author website, or so I’m told anyway. But it makes sense. This space has worked well for the past few years, but now, it’s time to take things to the next level. Because I do want to be taken seriously as an author.

Plus, here’s a little secret I’ll let you in on. I’ve got another book in the works. Well, it’s merely in my head as an idea, at this point. But that’s how I begin the process. More info on that later.

There’s still a lot to figure out as to what should be on the new site, and it will be an evolving thing. But, no more stalling. It’s live and ready for viewing. Gulp.

Click here to visit my new author website!

(Thank you to Dear Son-in-law for helping me with the setup.)

The other bigger change is that I will be writing all my new articles from here on out on Substack.

Why?

Well, you’ll have to head over there to read more about that! (I’ve yet to post my first article, but it’s coming very soon. I promise.)

So, if you want to keep reading my newest articles, think about visiting me at Substack. Subscribing gets you access to all my new pieces. You subscribe. All my articles are delivered to your inbox. That’s it. And yes, you can still read them all for free. It’s just a different platform that offers me more flexibility. If you don’t feel like subscribing yet, you can always just go to Substack.com and plug in my name or Nancy’s Point and voila — there I’ll be.

No worries, this WordPress site will remain — for now anyway. But new articles will be via Substack.

I will never be able to adequately express my deep gratitude for your loyal readership over the past decade+. We’ve been through a lot together. I hope we can tackle what’s yet to come together too.

Change is needed — even in the blogging world.

Change can make things better, right?

I hope you’ll come along with me on this new (and somewhat scary) writing adventure.

Let’s embrace this change together and see where it takes us.

Visit my new author website, and be sure to tell your friends about it too!

Also, be sure to visit My Substack and subscribe today!

P.S. You can still email me at nancy@nancyspoint.com any time.

Who’s with me?

Do you like change or not so much?

Click here or on the image above to visit my new website!

Note from Nancy: I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. Click on the image below to order your copy today or visit my new author website to learn more!

My memoir, Cancer Was Not a Gift & It Didn’t Make Me a Better Person has been out in the world and on bookshelves for eight years this week — yes, eight years!

Writing my memoir and sharing it with you has been an incredible and humbling experience. It means so much that my words have resonated with others who are drawn to a more realistic portrayal of the cancer experience.

Digging further into stats, I realized that since publishing EMERGING, sales of both my other books have ticked up. Not a lot, but a noticeable amount. (Yay, and thank you!)

I also realized that I’ve not been giving Cancer Was Not a Gift and Getting Past the Fear, the attention they need and deserve.

It’s kind of like when you have your second (or third, fourth, and beyond) baby and your time seems to be overtaken by that new tiny little person that landed in your home and heart. Your precious little bundle demands a lot of your time and energy at the start. Sometimes, it feels like all of it! Love has no limits, of course, but energy — that’s a different thing entirely.

My books are sort of like my babies too. And when a newbie comes out, that one takes up a lot of my time. I try not to neglect the others, but…it happens. (Bad book mom.)

So…

This post is to celebrate Cancer Was Not a Gift turning eight!

You’re probably thinking, this has to mean a sale.

And you’d be right! Woohoo!

Here are the details:

Until the end of the year, Cancer Was Not a Gift & It Didn’t Make Me a Better Person will be available on Amazon for just $7.99! The eBook Kindle version is only $2.99!

This is the lowest pricing that’s ever been offered (other than for a one-day Kindle promotion), and it won’t last. It can’t due to printing costs, etc.

If you’ve been meaning to read my memoir, this is the perfect time!

Books make fantastic gifts, too. Maybe someone on your list would enjoy one, or all, of my books. Or maybe you’d like to treat yourself with the gift of books.

Wait, you might be thinking, who wants to read about cancer, loss, and grief?

Who wants to read about preparing for chemotherapy?

Sure, not everyone does. But lots of folks do. (And by the way, EMERGING is about way more than cancer, loss, and a pandemic; ultimately, it’s a hopeful book.)

Pairing any of my books with a candle, pair of cozy slippers, or a thoughtfully written note from you, might be exactly what someone on your Christmas list would love.

Books also make great donations to hospital libraries, or heck, libraries in general.

So, be part of this mini celebration by taking advantage of this time-limited sale — or tell someone else about it!

Reminder: I donate 10% of book profits every year to METAvivor. Every purchase supports research specific to metastatic breast cancer.

Thank you for supporting my writing AND my advocacy efforts again in 2023!

And happy reading!

What’s your all-time favorite memoir?

Do you read cancer-related books?

Do you give books as gifts?

What’s at the top of your to-read list in 2024?

Click on the above image to order Cancer Was Not a Gift.

Books make the best gifts! Click on the above image to order EMERGING.

P.S. Don’t forget to share this post! Thank you!

Maybe you’ve thought about this too.

Or maybe you’re reading this and asking, what in the world is she talking about now?

Well, as a blogger who’s been at it for over a decade now, I’d be lying if I said numbers don’t matter. I mean, who doesn’t want readers for their words, right?

On the other hand, I no longer fret (as much) about numbers, SEO (search engine optimization), choosing the most clickable blog post titles, algorithms (who can figure them out anyway?), the latest Instagram hacks (advice is endless), number of views, and a whole bunch of other stuff I’m supposed to be worrying about if I want to be a successful writer/advocate — whatever that even means. What is success anyway? (I think that is a separate post.)

Nope. I’m back to focusing more on what I enjoy — writing. And posting what I want, when I want, and how often I want on social media platforms.

Sure, I try to implement some advice I hear, but most of it, I ignore and do what I want.

Numbers and algorithms be damned! (Sort of.)

As an indie author, I’ve immersed myself in learning about how to better market my books. All of them. A while back it finally hit me that I’m the one who needs to tell potential readers out there about my books. After all, I don’t have a professional marketing team. I am it. And you, my readers. That’s it. We are the team. (Thank you.)

My books don’t magically land in the hands of readers. (I wish.) No, I have to talk about them on social media, here on the blog, in my weekly email, and wherever and whenever I can.

My goal is to sell 30 or so more books this year. (And remember, I’ve got three books.)

Now, some folks would say, yikes. That’s it? You poor thing. You should be selling that number of books every single day.

Others might say, wow, 25 books or so a month is a great number!

It depends on where you’re coming from, right?

Everything, as they say, is relative.

If you’re on Instagram, Facebook, X, TikTok, or any social media platform like I am, you might think about numbers too. I mean, who doesn’t like to have a huge number of followers, views, tons of likes and shares, and so on?

Most of us, and I can guarantee that all authors, are looking for engagement and growth. It’s social media, after all. I’ve always dreamed of having that one post (anywhere) that goes viral. (Have you?) It’s never happened and likely never will.

Landing on a best-sellers list somewhere likely won’t ever happen either. (I can still dream, though.)

So what?

Does it really matter how many people are impacted positively by words you write or actions you take? Maybe. But maybe not.

Does the work of a NYT’s best-selling author have more value than mine due to her larger reach? Yes, and no. Small reaches matter too. (This is what I tell myself anyway. But I believe it.)

So, when your numbers aren’t growing as fast as you want, or are even going down, you might get discouraged. You might feel like quitting. Trust me, I know.

So, what does all this have to do with YOU, Dear Reader?

What’s my point in talking about the numbers game?

Well, it’s this:

You are enough even if you have a handful of friends/followers, likes, comments, shares, or whatever on your blog or social media platforms of choice.

You are enough if you’ve opted out of being the model breast cancer advocate — whatever that even means. You are doing enough if you’re encouraging one other person in her cancer maze, other life crisis, or life in general.

Being a Witness for someone in pain (and in good times) is enough. (This is a theme in EMERGING.)

You are doing enough if you share your story (any sort) with a handful of people — or even just one other person.

Taking this number thing ever further…

You are enough if the number on your scale doesn’t say what you want or is going in the wrong direction.

You are enough if you have two breasts, one breast, or no breasts.

You are enough if you’re moving your body for “x” amount of minutes every day. In fact, you’re enough if you aren’t moving your body at all.

You are enough even when it seems others your age seem to look better and be doing more. (It’s often an illusion.)

You are enough if your house isn’t decorated to the hilt this Christmas or if you end up baking only one or two batches of holiday cookies instead of the half dozen you used to. (Heck, forget baking altogether, and go buy some goodies if need be. That works, too.)

Bottom line, the danger in the numbers game is that it too often leads to comparison. Which can lead to feeling inadequate. Which can lead to giving up.

So…

Join me in trying not to fret too much about the numbers. Try to stop comparing yourself to what your co-workers, friends and family, fellow cancer survivors, and neighbors are doing. (And in my case, fellow authors)

Remember what you ARE doing matters.

Small achievements count, too. (Even if it’s just unloading the dishwasher or taking a shower.)

So, do what YOU do. Lean into it. Be proud of it. Be proud of yourself. Share your unique gifts with the world. (Or at least with one or two other people.)

And always, keep going.

Because you are enough — even when you think you are not.

What’s a numbers game you’ve been caught up in?

Do you compare yourself to others, and if so, how do you stop doing that when it becomes a problem?

What is something you do, or did, that you are proud of?

Share this post with someone you know who might need some encouragement. Thank you!

Note from Nancy: I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. Click on the image below to order your copy today!

If you’re a person who’s heard those words, you have cancer, you have likely experienced at least moments of survivor guilt from time to time and are not at all surprised to know many other Cancer Havers deal with it as well.

If you have not heard those three thorny words, you might be surprised to realize that many cancer survivors grapple with feelings of survivor guilt when in remission — or even when not.

And, it doesn’t matter what stage you’re diagnosed at.

If you’re an early stager, you might feel survivor guilt because you don’t feel you have or had it as bad as others diagnosed at later stages. If you have metastatic disease, you might feel survivor guilt because you wonder why you’re still here while many around you have died or are rapidly declining.

I’m wondering what YOUR relationship with survivor guilt is like. Be sure to share in the comments at the end of this post.

Since so many of us deal with survivor guilt, I wanted to write about it in my latest book, Emerging: Stories from the Other Side of a Cancer Diagnosis, Loss, and a Pandemic.

I’m sharing an excerpt with you today. I hope you enjoy it and will share about your relationship with survivor guilt in the comments.

SURVIVOR GUILT

(from Part 1, CANCER)

Survivor guilt is common in Cancer Land. Sometimes, you wonder why you’re still here when so many others, often with similar initial diagnoses to yours, are not. Adding guilt into the crapshoot is unhelpful and unnecessary. Nonetheless, add it in we do.

I’m now thirteen years out from Diagnosis Day. Thirteen years. A decade plus three more years. That’s a decent chunk of time. Some Cancer Havers would be ecstatic with another thirteen years; it be almost like winning the lottery.

When you first hear the dreaded words, you have cancer, you immediately become inundated with appointments, procedures, scans and treatment decisions. You and your team devise A Plan. A Plan spells out what to do and when to do it. You follow A Plan and hope for the best.

Why do some Plans work while others do not?

Others in my shoes also had A Plan, followed A Plan, but nonetheless, did not survive. My own mother did not survive, and she had A Plan. I’ve had a dozen+ years post diagnosis. She had only four. Why? Her cancer recurred, and mine, so far, has not. Why? She died from her breast cancer; so far, I’m still here. Why?

So yeah, survivor guilt creeps in.

Of course, there are no answers as to why some survive and others do not. So, before you let survivor guilt, or any sort of guilt, get out of hand, stop and ask yourself if what you feel guilty about was something out of your control. If it was, you have to let it go. Easier said than done, I know.

If that something was in in your control, maybe what you really feel is regret. Either way, it’s probably time to stop beating yourself up about the past. Fretting about the future too much likely isn’t all that helpful either.

All we have is today. We have to make the most of it. After all, living our best lives is how we honor those who don’t survive.

If you are dealing with survivor guilt, you are not alone.

Remember, none of this is your fault, and ultimately, much in Cancer Land is completely out of our control.

After all, everything about cancer is sort of a crap shoot, is it not?

And no one is responsible for anyone else’s outcome. Sometimes, too often in fact, things are just downright random and unfair.

For example, if you’re BRCA+ like me, you might experience feelings of guilt for passing a known elevating risk factor for developing cancer on to your children.

If you’ve finished active treatment, or even if you haven’t, you might have feelings of guilt thinking there might’ve been something you did or did not do to cause your cancer.

You might want to read: Stop Blaming Yourself for Getting Cancer.

You might also think, gee, I’m still here. Am I supposed to be doing something more — whatever that means — with my life?

You might want to read: You Don’t Have to Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro — the Pressure to Be an Over-achieving Cancer Patient.

So, yeah, survivor guilt can rear its head and cause considerable angst.

I’m here to remind you that none of this cancer crap is your fault.

So, be kind to yourself. Ditch the guilt. It’s a waste of time and energy anyway.

Again, as I wrote in Emerging, remembering the following helps me deal with survivor guilt:

“All we have is today. We have to make the most of it. After all, living our best lives is how we honor those who don’t survive.“

Maybe it’ll help you too.

Do you sometimes experience feelings of survivor guilt — cancer related or otherwise?

What sort of thing triggers your feelings of survivor guilt?

How do you cope when these feelings arise?

Click on the image below to read a sample and then, order your copy of EMERGING today!

When you think about it, would you really have wanted to know any of this stuff before your diagnosis?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Besides, for me, after my mother’s diagnosis and death from metastatic breast cancer, what in the world else would I have wanted to know when diagnosed?

I already knew way too much.

Still, I got to thinking maybe some things would be nice to know, so perhaps there is value in sharing a few things I wish I’d known when I was diagnosed. That’s what I’m hoping anyway.

And, since this is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, why not spread some real awareness, right?

Be sure to share a thing or two you wish you’d known upon diagnosis in the comments below. You never know who might be reading and benefiting.

16 things (in no particular order) I wish I’d known when diagnosed with breast cancer:

1. You’ll be shocked or at least surprised to hear the words, you have cancer.

You’re human. No one expects to have those words attached to them. I sure didn’t — even with my family history and that whole BRCA thing. Maybe I was in denial. Perhaps we all are, to some extent.

It’s normal to think cancer happens to other families, to other people — certainly not to yours or YOU.

And then one day, it happens.

2. After a diagnosis, things get rolling fast; but at the same time, it feels like things are happening in slow motion at times. And the number of appointments you’ll have is shocking.

Suddenly, there are countless appointments, exams, tests and procedures, surgeries, decisions to be made, treatments to start, and so on. And usually these appointments take place in stuffy rooms with glaring, buzzing florescent lighting.

It might also feel like things are moving way too slowly. I remember hollering (not proud to admit it) from another room something like, why is it taking so long? when Dear Hubby was talking with my breast surgeon about setting the date for my upcoming bilateral. Yeah, I was feeling a bit distraught that day and made him take the call. Poor guy.

I was feeling very impatient and didn’t want to wait a couple weeks, even though I was also in no hurry whatsoever to say goodbye to my breasts.

3. Modesty — forget about it!

With a breast cancer diagnosis in particular, it’s really quite astounding how many times you’re asked to disrobe. It gets to be a whole lot of people gawking, poking, analyzing, photographing, and yes, even drawing with markers on your breasts.

I imagine the same holds true for other cancers and illnesses as well. It’s just different body parts that get subjected to all the scrutiny.

Feel free to chime in.

4. Your computer, laptop, phone, or whatever your favorite Googling device is, will become your new best friend.

Some folks recommend staying off the internet. I say, are you kidding me?

I wanted to dig up every piece of information I could find. Like my friend and fellow blogger Carolyn Thomas wrote in one of her great pieces titled, Four ways we use online info to make healthcare decisions :

I would not buy a coffeemaker without first Googling coffeemakers to learn all I could about my options. So, of course, I’ll go online if I have questions about  something far more important: my health. Most of us are already online, so telling us “Don’t Google It!” is patronizing – and just plain wrong-headed.

Plus, some of the best support out there is the support you find online. I had no idea how helpful it would be to connect with other Cancer Havers online.

I wish I’d known that from day one.

Hopefully, you have at least a couple real-life people you can call, text, actually talk to face-to-face, lean on, vent with, ask for help, or get whatever you need from, too.

Help and support from others is vital to your well-being.

5. It’s never over. Not completely anyway.

If you’re thinking your cancer is going to be “typical” and take a year or so out of your life and then you’ll be back to your old self and your old ways, think again.

First of all, there’s no such thing as typical. And that one year thing — uh-uh. Regardless of stage or type, treatment and the ongoing side-effucks last a long time.

So, buckle up. Things get bumpy and for a long time too.

And just a heads up, if you’re lucky enough to have an endpoint to treatment, some folks in your life won’t understand why you haven’t just moved on. Fortunately, some will. Keep those folks close.

FYI: I wrote about moving on vs moving forward extensively in my book, Emerging. You might find it helpful.

6. Speaking of buckling up…that rollercoaster analogy is sorta cliché and worn out; nonetheless, it does fit.

Your emotions will be all over the map, at least for awhile. You’ll be crabby, weepy, anxious, angry, fearful, needy, and a gazillion other things. Some days, you’ll feel like you can tackle anything. Other days, you’ll want to stay in bed with the covers pulled over your head.

Any, and all, of your emotions are normal. Forget about faking it, although of course, we all have to sometimes.

7. Some folks will treat you differently and their eyes will wander to your chest.

Not much need to say more, is there?

8. You can’t go back.

Once that cancer beast is out of the gate, your old life is over. Sorry. But that’s the way it will likely be.

Pre-cancer life — say, adios.

You might want to read, You Can’t Go Back.

9. People (even your medical team) will likely say things that irk the heck out of you.

Get ready to hear the Cancer Clunkers.

What you do when you hear them is up to you. (You don’t have to stay quiet. Really, you don’t.)

10. The Positivity Police are out there — ignore them.

Trying to live up to societal expectations is a waste of your time and energy. There is no right way to navigate your cancer maze. There is only your way.

But please know this: you don’t have to smile your way through any of this cancer crap.

11. You will need to grieve for the old you. Many times.

Breast cancer is a string of losses. It just is. Loss requires grief. I can’t stress this enough. Grief (any kind) has no timetable. So, be sure to cut yourself some slack — no, not some — lots. I had no idea how much grief and breast cancer go hand in hand.

You might want to read, Breast Cancer Is a String of Losses.

12. Like it or not, you’re going to have to sharpen your self-advocacy skills.

This is just reality. After all, it’s your life. Your body. Your cancer. Your future.

But remember this: just as with all skills, you’ll get better at it over time. Trust me, you will. For some, including me, self-advocacy will never be easy. But it will get easier with practice. At least a little bit easier.

13. Side effects of treatment vary from person to person, but one nearly everyone with cancer experiences is fatigue.

You might want to read, 7 Tips to Help Deal with Cancer-Related Fatigue.

14. Some folks are obsessed with seeing and talking about cancer as a military campaign.

Battle-talk language — get ready for it. If this way of framing cancer is fine with you, great. But if it irks you, feel free to speak up. Remind people that cancer is an illness, not a military campaign.

You might want to read, Stating a Person Lost Her Battle to Cancer Is Insulting! and/or Let’s Stop Telling Cancer Patients How to Feel.

15. You might feel pressured to do big things with your life post diagnosis, or at least something big.

This expectation is just plain dumb. You and I were not sitting around twiddling our thumbs before diagnosis day. Cancer is a horrible disease, not an enlightenment program.

Dealing with cancer and living your life on your terms is more than enough to accomplish, so ignore all that noise and pressure.

You might want to read, The Pressure to Be an Over-achieving Cancer Patient.

16. You can do hard things, and you can do this too.

As you know, I am never one to sound Pollyannaish, but your body is amazing. YOU are amazing. You will do whatever it takes, and you will do this too as best you can.

Sometimes, you’ll surprise yourself as to what you can handle. Sure, sometimes you’ll disappoint yourself too. Both are okay.

Because like I’ve said a gazillion times: Be real. Be you. It’s enough.

So, those are 16 things I wish I had known upon diagnosis. I’m sure there are more things, but this list seems long enough for today.

I hope someone out there benefits from reading it and feels less alone.

If you like this post, thank you for sharing it!

If applicable, what’s something you wish you’d known when you were first diagnosed?

Which of the 16 resonates most with you?

On the flip side, what did you know that you wish you hadn’t?

Join my email list and become part of the Nancy’s Point Community on Substack!

Note from Nancy: I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. Click on the image below to order your copy today!

To make sure you see and read it, I’ve reblogged it here — something I’ve never done before. Follow the link, read my piece, and share your thoughts with a comment on Liz’s blog or down below in the comments here.

Oh, and be sure to share my article too — either this one or via Liz’s blog. Better yet, share both!

After all, we can’t say it often enough: Pink is not a cure!

Click to read my guest post.

Thank you for reading and sharing my guest post. And thank you, Liz, for the invitation.

Heck yes, I want weekly updates from Nancy’s Point!

Did you read my guest post and if so, do have thoughts about it to share?

Are you seeing fewer pink ribbons, about the same, or more than in years gone by?

Do you feel we’ve made progress — or not much at all — regarding what is focused on during BCAM?

NOTE FROM NANCY: I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. It’d mean a lot to me if you’d consider reading it. Click HERE or on the image below to purchase.

Any type of serious illness or other trauma can make a person want to “do” something with the experience. This comes from a feeling of wanting to help others who are, or will be, facing a similar diagnosis or experience. It’s a giving back sort of thing. It gives purpose to what you’ve had to deal with.

Some people start blogs, others set up or join support groups and other organizations, some create new online spaces, some write books, some run in races or organize other events to raise money. Some start traveling attending seminars and conventions, some start podcasts (does it seem like everybody has one these days?). Some begin speaking publicly about their experiences, and the list goes on.

Advocacy in Breast Cancer Land looks different for everyone.

I’m here to tell you that all the above sort of advocacy is wonderful and sorely needed. I’m also here to tell you that it’s okay to not put pressure on yourself to participate in, or to do something big post diagnosis — whatever that even means.

You might want to read: The Pressure to Be an Over-Achieving Cancer Patient.

There was a time, and not that long ago, when I felt pretty darn inadequate as an advocate in Cancer Land. I mean, I wasn’t traveling around the country attending conventions or getting special advocate training to refine my advocacy skills. I wasn’t reading up on the latest scientific findings. And yes, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough.

So, I forced myself out of my comfort zone and attended a Living Beyond Breast Cancer convention a few years back. I was asked to attend and be part of a panel of bloggers.

How could I have said no to that?

Plus, the travel expenses were paid for. That was huge. Advocates deserve compensation, too, in addition to having their travel expenses paid for, I might add. But that’s a different post.

It was stressful for me to get on that plane and find myself in an unfamiliar airport, city, and surroundings. But I did it. I navigated fine. Being on the panel was fun. Sort of.

But guess what?

Once was enough. After that, I decided no more. That kind of thing just wasn’t/isn’t for me.

This introvert prefers to stay home. She prefers to advocate from her keyboard. That’s the way I like it, so that’s what I do.

After that experience, I decided what I’m doing is okay. In fact, it’s totally fine. Everyone does not have to be a stellar, traveling, all-star sort of advocate — whatever that even means.

YOU get to decide what sort of advocacy role, if any, you want to take on in Cancer Land.

This can be as simple as having a conversation with your neighbor or a stranger at the grocery store. (Pinktober sometimes presents opportunities like this.)

All kinds of advocacy matters. Yes, all kinds!

Taking this further still — you don’t necessarily have to become a breast cancer related sort of advocate at all.

What??

It’s true.

Maybe being an advocate in Cancer Land isn’t for you at all. That’s fine! After all, it can be draining — both physically and emotionally. And, let’s not forget, financially. You might be sick and tired of dealing with your diagnosis and all the self-advocacy that requires, which is a lot and way more than enough to tackle.

Perhaps you want to become an advocate for animal welfare instead. Or children. Or sensible gun-safety reform. Or, dare I say it, for a politician or political party you support.

The point is, there is a lot of need out there. There are many causes. There is a role for you out there in Advocacy World if you want one.

Never feel badly or put yourself down for not “doing enough” in Cancer Land. (‘ll try to remember this too.) Besides, living your best life is no small thing.

But remember this too: Your story matters. Your voice matters. Your place in the world matters. YOU matter.

Of course, others matter, too, and helping others in big OR small ways is also important.

There are many niches out there with advocacy openings. There’s always work that needs doing.

The advocacy lane you choose is up to you.

I hope you find one that feels right for you, whether it be in Breast Cancer Land or not.

Have you ever felt like you weren’t/aren’t doing enough advocacy-wise in Cancer Land?

What sort of advocate do you consider yourself to be?

Is there another advocacy niche you are involved with other than, or in addition to, Cancer Land?

Note from Nancy: I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. It’d mean a lot to me if you’d consider reading it.

Click on the above image to order your copy of EMERGING today!

Nancy’s Point has moved to Substack. I’d love to connect with you there! Subscribe below and never miss my new articles and announcements. Thank you for considering.

While contemplating what to write as I mark 13 years of blogging this month (I know, hard to believe, right?), this is the word that kept popping into my head.

Perhaps because above all else, being authentic has been a primary goal of mine since day one.

So, what does being authentic mean anyway? Is it just another one of those buzz words?

When you look around, there are various definitions, but words like reliable, genuine, trustworthy, and real are usually in there someplace.

Those work for me. I strive to be all those things.

Blogging about the reality of breast cancer; well, my reality anyway, is what I’ve always tried to do. It’s always been my hope that by keeping it real I can best encourage others in their cancer mazes.

For me, keeping it real means never sugarcoating anything about this horrendous disease. And, despite the rhetoric of pink ribbon culture, breast cancer remains a horrendous, too often, still deadly disease. And even if you’re “lucky” enough to be an early stager forever, it’s a life-altering diagnosis.

Breast cancer is NOT the good cancer, and it is not merely a bump in the road. At least not from my perch.

My tone, my messaging isn’t for everyone. I get that; I’m fine with that. There’s room for a lot of different voices and styles in Breast Cancer Land too.

A while back I came across a writing prompt that suggested writers ask themselves this question:

What are a few things you believe in — truly believe in — regarding your writing?

This is a good prompt for anybody, not just writers. I encourage you to give it some thought too. Thinking about your core values is always a good exercise from time to time.

So, regarding my writing, the image below highlights a few things I believe in:

Thinking about these things reminds me why I started this blog and why I’ve kept churning out articles for 13 years now. These beliefs ground me and give purpose to why I wrote Emerging and my other books too; heck to why I write, period. They pretty much represent why I do what I do.

As I mark 13 years of blogging, I’m ever so grateful to remain NED. I’m ever so grateful to have loyal readers like you. Hopefully, I’ve been able to offer a bit of light and support to others facing scary unknowns in Cancer Land — maybe even to you. With this privilege comes a sense of responsibility along with feelings of humility and gratitude.

Big changes are coming soon. I’m excited to share about them when the time is right.

For now, thank you for being out there following my ramblings. Some of you have been here since the very start — you know who you are. Whether you’re a long-time reader, a newbie, or somewhere in between, I appreciate each one of you.

As always, I see you. I hear you, and I care about what you have to say.

Here’s to another year of keeping it real!

One more thing…

To mark Nancy’s Point turning 13, I’ll be hosting a book giveaway soon (it’s not set up quite yet) on Instagram. If you’re on that platform, be sure to check it out for a chance to win a FREE copy of Emerging!

Heck yes, I want weekly updates from Nancy’s Point!

What are a couple of your core beliefs regarding work you do or have done?

What does being authentic mean to you?

What brought you to Nancy’s Point and what keeps you coming back?

What would you like to read more, or less, about?

I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. I hope you’ll consider reading it and then letting me know your thoughts.

I met Mary a few years ago, and I remain proud to have her as my newsletter sponsor. After learning about Mary’s products, professional background, and personal dedication to helping her patients, I knew she was a perfect match to partner with. I wouldn’t recommend a product I didn’t fully believe in and, in this case, end up using myself. These days I consider Mary more than a sponsor, I consider her a friend.

Thank you for reading Mary’s informative piece about those dreaded drains. And thank you, Mary, for writing it. If you have questions or comments for Mary, be sure to leave them at the end of this post. Also, feel free to share about your experience with drain management.

After all, supporting and learning from one another is vital when facing these life-altering surgeries that a cancer diagnosis too often brings.

THE BEST WAY TO SECURE POST-SURGICAL DRAINS!

By Mary Robinson Prody, R.N.

If you are having a mastectomy for breast cancer treatment, or reconstructive breast surgery, you will most likely have surgical drains in place when you go home. For most patients, the drains are a daunting obstacle on an already arduous trek.

AN EXPLANATION ABOUT DRAINS AND THEIR PURPOSE

The drains, known as Jackson-Pratt drains, are placed during surgery and play a very significant role in the outcome of the surgery and healing process. Fluid often builds up where a breast has been removed, and the fluid can cause a seroma (a pocket of fluid) bringing discomfort and delay in healing. Post-surgical drains, whether one or several, remove the fluid.

HOW DO THEY WORK?

One end of the thin flexible tube, usually 14-18 inches in total length, is inserted into the surgical site and extends out of the body. It is secured with one or two sutures to your skin. The tubing is connected to a soft round squeeze bulb that collects fluids from the surgical site.

The drainage needs to be emptied two-four times a day. In a process we call milking or stripping, the drainage tube is pinched at the insertion site with slight pressure in a downward slide to the bulb, to expel any tiny blood clots to keep the tube free flowing. You or your caregiver will record the drainage amounts, as this is how the surgeon determines when the drains are no longer needed.

The drain works mainly by suction, which requires the patient or caregiver to squeeze the bulb to recreate a vacuum once it is re-capped. As it fills with drainage, the flat bulb expands to original size. Gravity comes into play, and if the drainage bulb is not secured below the insertion site, drainage will potentially bypass the suction and leak out of the insertion site. Leakage means the drain is not functioning properly, which means it could irritate the surrounding skin and cause staining on clothing, or worse, lead to an infection.

GOING HOME WITH POST-SURGICAL DRAINS

If all of this sounds complicated and difficult, it can be! The normal anxiety of going home after surgery can be increased by the additional burden of managing drains. You have just had major surgery, are most likely taking pain medication, weakened from surgery, and tired. You are facing a diagnosis of cancer and the significant altered body status from your surgery. That is a lot to deal with.

DISCHARGE INSTRUCTIONS ARE ROUTINE FOR NURSES NOT FOR PATIENTS!

It is now time for discharge, and the nurse will be teaching you and/or a caregiver how to perform drain care at home. As a nurse, I think we may overestimate what patients and/or caregivers are expected to do on their own. Really, to them drains are a complete unknown, a medical device cared for by nurses and now — “I’ll show you how to do this.”

Discharge day is often frenzied. The patient not only gets a demonstration of drain care, but also is sent home with lengthy written instructions and needed supplies. Often things are explained too quickly or at the last minute. It’s a lot to absorb for both patient and caregiver!

One of the most challenging parts of having drains is managing the long tubes and the bulb(s), especially as they become weighted with drainage. If not secured properly, the tubes can become tangled; and the bulb(s) can move around or swing, causing discomfort at the insertion site in your chest.

SAFETY PINS CAN BE UNCOOPERATIVE AND PAINFUL

Once home, the struggling with drains begins.

In the hospital, nurses secure the bulbs with plastic or metal clips, or they are safety-pinned to your hospital gown. At home, you are not wearing a hospital gown (yay!). If the drain bulbs are pinned to clothing, they can be yanked during the act of toileting causing discomfort and, in the worst-case scenario, become accidentally dislodged.

If you were not given instructions, or have forgotten the importance of securing the bulbs below the insertion site, there is the potential complication of leaking and loss of maximum drain function.

The process of milking or stripping the tube(s) is one of the most worrisome tasks patients and or caregivers are instructed to do. Some of my patients refused to even do it for fear of pulling out the thin drain tube.

SLEEPING WITH DRAINS

Looking forward to going home and sleeping in your own bed might now be a worrisome endeavor, requiring a lot of thought and mechanics to keep those bulbs with drainage secure. Patients often worry about lying on them or rolling over them while sleeping. I have had patients who slept for weeks in a recliner, some who accidentally rolled on them resulting in spillage and needing to change sheets in the middle of the night, and many just plain fearful of these things happening.

A good night sleep is so very important in the healing process. The Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II helps alleviate some of the stress allowing for a better shot at a restful night’s sleep.

SHOWERING WITH DRAINS

If your surgeon allows showering, how in the world does that work with one or several drains?

When my 80-year-old bilateral mastectomy patient told me she asked her surgeon how she could possibly shower with her two drains, he told her to take the shoelaces out of her shoes, tie them together hang it around her neck, and then safety-pin her drains to the laces during showering.

Yes, he said shoelaces!

It is astounding that a surgeon would recommend, and many hospitals, continue to use safety pins at all. In hospitals it is considered a sharps exposure with accidental pin pricks breaking skin, and in the home setting, patients can and have, not only pricked themselves but the actual drain or bulb causing loss of suction and rendering the drain ineffective, and a potential portal for infection.

THERE MUST BE A SOLUTION

“HALF MY TEARS AFTER MY BREAST CANCER SURGERY WERE RELATED TO MY CANCER DIAGNOSIS, BUT THE OTHER HALF WERE RELATED TO THOSE DARN DRAINS.”

Because of my experiences, I began a search for a better method of drain securement. I found there was not only a universal or better method, I learned there were multiple make-shift methods including ineffective plastic clips that fall off when the bulb becomes weighted with drainage, lanyards, pocketed clothing, a Home Depot cloth tool belt, shoe laces, fanny packs, and the list goes on.

PASSION LEADS TO ACTION

Witnessing my patients’ struggles, frustrations, and unnecessary complications led to my development of the Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II. It is a soft fabric belt that has easy-grip fasteners to secure up to four drainage bulbs.

Because it was developed by a nurse with knowledge and experience, it meets patients’ comfort needs, but also clinical needs to maximize drain function to decrease complications and improve the surgery outcome.

 (US Patent #11,090,184)

With the Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II, each drain bulb is individually secured so there is virtually no movement of the drainage bulb or tubing. The individual securement decreases patient discomfort and prevents pulling or accidental dislodgement of the drainage tube. The belt with secured drain bulbs is discretely worn under clothing, not visible to others, but allows quick and easy visibility for you to determine when you need to empty.

The Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II allows normal activities of daily living during the day, in bed at night, and in the shower — if your surgeon allows showering. If showering is allowed, you will need two belts — one for use while showering — and one for dry use. After showering, the wet belt will air dry and be ready for your next shower.

The Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II is universal in size and gender — because men get breast cancer too!

The Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II also comes in kit form, which includes all the components needed for drain care: two measuring cups, a Drainage Output Record Sheet — including patient education and step-by-step directions — and two belts, one for showering, (if allowed), one for dry use or in case one gets soiled.

The patented drain fasteners have also been incorporated into Abdominal Binders, with all the same benefits as the Drainage Bulb Holder II. Abdominal Binders are used in DIEP Flap, Tram Flap, Tummy Tuck, or reconstructive surgeries requiring compression.

MY MISSION CONTINUES

My passion and work to provide patients with a better post-operative experience with their drains continues as the need is still greater than I would like to report. It is very distressing there is still SO much being written and discussed on various forums about how to manage post-surgical drains — yet thank goodness for the ability to share needed information.

Drain management angst and frustration that often plague patients and or caregivers should not be as memorable as the cancer and surgery trek. That is hard enough!

The Prody™ trio of Drain Care Products is used in over 300 national hospitals, but that leaves 4000 hospitals using safety pins and other make-shift methods to secure drains. I call nurses and patients who learn about the Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II products ambassadors as it is often they who inform their medical practitioners of their success with my products and how the products end up in hospitals.

One of those ambassadors of the Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II is none other than Nancy Stordahl, creator of Nancy’s Point blog. Little did we know when we met, she would end up using the Drainage Bulb Holder II after her DIEP flap breast reconstruction surgery.

After all she endured, she took the time to write an article about how her drain management was improved using the Drainage Bulb Holder II with her four drains. She was even brave and bold enough to give us a post-surgery photo of herself with her four drains snugly secured in the Drainage Bulb Holder II.

As always, Nancy, #KeepingitReal!

Click on the above photo or HERE to read her review of the Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II

My goal is to have drain securement universal, with patients getting products to secure drains either before surgery or in the operating room after drains are placed — and getting rid of safety pins!

As a side note, drains are used in other surgeries aside from mastectomies including: Tram Flap, DIEP Flap, and implant/explant surgeries, as well as some GYN surgeries and C-sections. Others include: abdominoplasty, colon, liver, renal and some hernias, certain wound surgeries, orthopedic, and organ transplant surgeries.

Thus, the need is great.

For those searching for their own drain care products, the patented Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II products are available on https://promedicsproducts.com.

My hope is that such a search will not be necessary someday and that all patients will get needed products from their medical providers.

The Prody™ Drainage Bulb Holder II products have been recently improved with easy grip fasteners, making drain care easier for patients and clinicians. The products are patented (US Patent #11,090,184) so only available on Promedics Products website or through hospital distributors.

Note — Amazon Alert! Amazon is selling the original design without the improved fasteners and those are not as easy to use.

If you have a question or comment for me, ask away!

MARY’S BIO:

Mary Robinson Prody is a Registered Nurse trained in Minneapolis, MN. She worked as a Home Health Nurse for many years in Florida. She currently resides in Minnesota where she operates Promedics Products, a company she founded to provide comfortable and functional products to improve the quality of life, while preventing complications, in patients who have surgery requiring the use of surgical drains. Visit Promedics Products Facebook page. While you’re there, give it a like/follow!

Mary Robinson Prody, R,N, inventor, and patient advocate

Do you have a comment or question for Mary?

If applicable, how did you manage the dreaded drains?

Did managing post-surgical drains cause you stress and were you properly instructed how to best manage them?

Don’t forget to sign up for weekly updates from Nancy’s Point HERE!

Note from Nancy: I wrote about the peculiar twinship of my DIEP flap surgery and the pandemic in Emerging: Stories from the Other Side of a Cancer Diagnosis, Loss, and a Pandemic, available on Amazon and other online booksellers.