It was only a dream. At least that is what I keep telling myself. But in reality I know that this dream came after the challenges of getting discouraged about my status as a photographer. You see while I was at WPPI last year, I think I may have had a mild panic attack. It was my third year of attending WPPI and I absolutely loved the idea of being around so many other photographers and soaking in all I could learn. But last year was the first official year of UNITE that was also being held during the week of WPPI and I was asked to speak on a panel next to a few photographers whom I had really admired for a while and considered to be the epiphany of success. I was honored to serve on the panel with them because I was surrounded by greatness. But what I wasn’t prepared for was the way that made me feel afterward. I spent a lot of time in my hotel room that week instead of taking WPPI classes. I wanted to hide out and avoid running into anyone who might have recognized who I was.

After returning home from WPPI that year, I ended up removing myself from a ton of Facebook groups and very rarely being active in the groups that I continued to remain. I’m not really sure what happened. I still can’t articulate into words how I felt in Vegas at that time or how I feel about it today. But what I DO KNOW is this: My priorities have changed. 

My definition of success has changed!

I am no longer sucked in by photographers who are viewed as rock stars. After spending time with various people during WPPI, I realized that I did not want their lives! Some of the photographers (and even videographers) that I thought I liked and admired turned out to be such a disappointment. I was comparing my every day to their highlight reels or what they decided to share with the world. But after being able to spend some one on one time with a few of those rockstars, I learned some pretty awful things about them, and realized that I had been drinking the water. I think that the knowledge that I walked away from WPPI with that year was that my priorities were completely messed up. So I came home and spent the next year and a half focusing on what was really important.

I ended up removing a couple of “friends” from my life. I deleted a few friends from Facebook as well and turned off notifications in Facebook groups that I wanted to stay in. Don’t worry… there was no drama to speak of. Just a decision on my part to readjust my expectations out of people and to focus on my definition of success. And what I realized is that I am already successful.

I am living my dream!

I am booking enough weddings and portrait sessions to make my salary requirements that allows me to work as a full time photographer. I am blessed with a successful business that provides me with enough income to work from home (other than the days I’m actually shooting). And by being at home full time, I am able to be a full time mom. But it doesn’t stop there! I am not only a full time mom, but I am their full time teacher. Home schooling my children was not something I set out to do. It just happened. And it turned out to be the biggest blessing of all. And what about traveling? Who doesn’t love to travel? When I get to travel for engagement sessions or weddings, I get to pack up and take the whole family with me without having to worry about what they might miss in school. Instead we get to plan mini vacations around my work schedule and that is the best part of all.

If I were not booking enough weddings and sessions to make the salary that I do, I would not be able to do this. Scott and I are still pretty young and we are paying off quite a bit of debt in student loans from college. And you wouldn’t believe how expensive it is to home school. Curriculum costs alone will break the bank for most people. But God has managed to bless us each and every year with exactly what we need and exactly when we need it. We are not rich by any stretch of the imagination. At least not with money and expensive things. Instead we are rich with love and family and a career that I am not only passionate about, but successful enough to provide us with a lifestyle that we love.

I definitely interact with fewer and fewer people on Facebook than I used to. Don’t get me wrong, I stay in contact with a lot of colleagues because being a part of the photography community is important. And I am posting status updates and current work while tagging my clients in their photos.  But  I am focusing on relationships that have true value instead of the highlight reels that others tend to share online. I invest in the people who actually invest in me. And I can honestly say that I am happier today than I have ever been. My life is enriched with family and true friends. I am honored to be able to focus on true friendships with my clients after their wedding date. I am living life instead of trying to be a rockstar. It is no longer about how many weddings I can show on Facebook or how many people I can get to like my Facebook page. NO! It is about living in the moment and appreciating what I have.

What did I learn at WPPI that year?

I learned that I have so much to be thankful for, and that my family, friends, and clients are what is important! My status in the photography industry will never reach rockstar level because that is not my goal! My goal is to continue loving on the people in my life and to live each moment with both feet in! And THAT makes me a ROCKSTAR!

The obvious answer is yes. I can emulate those shots. But I do not want to.

We want to make our clients happy and give them what they want. But where do we draw the line? For me it comes down to educating my clients. If a client sends me a ton of Pinterest pictures and asks if we can get some shots like them, I usually respond by saying, “Those images that you sent me are gorgeous. I can definitely see the high fashion, classic style that you are attracted to. If you notice in those photos, the couple is wearing a very high fashion styled outfit with lots of amazing details such as shoes and accessories. And the location of the photos have been carefully planned to match that couple. And I’m sure that if you and I put our heads together we can come up with our own concept that will allow you to have photos of the same style while still making them custom and unique to you two as a couple.”

WHEW! That was a long response wasn’t it? But to me that is necessary. In order for me to remain fresh and inspired, I need to have artistic control of my work. I am not only a photographer, but an artist. It is important to me that my clients trust me to provide a quality and an experience that they will love. And while I will definitely draw inspiration from the style of photos that they send me, I am unable to change my style of photography to give them that exact thing.

So the next time that your clients send you a ton of images from Pinterest and asks YOU to emulate them, just remember that not everyone understands that each photographer has a unique style. The general non photographer public thinks that it is just a matter of pointing and shooting usually. So they do not understand that they should be searching for a photographer with a style like the images that they sent you. Just help them to understand that if they like the photos on your website, then they will like the photos that they get from you.

And to my non photographer friends… when you are surfing Pinterest for ideas, make sure you are not expecting a photographer to emulate those ideas and that you are ready to tell your photographer what it is that you like about those shots. But keep in mind that all photographers have a style. And to get an idea of what you are going to receive with your pictures, you need to study their websites. Just yesterday someone sent me a shot that they found on Pinterest that showed a really “sexy” girl standing in front of a hotrod car that was lit up with lots of lights and featured smoke in the background asking me if I could emulate the shot. The answer is yes. I know HOW to emulate the shot. But it is not my specialty or my style. So I’m probably not going to.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Thank you Trina and Clayton for trusting me with this precious moment in your lives. I can’t wait to meet baby Corben when he finally arrives. ANY DAY NOW! Now excuse me while I go do my happy dance!

Let me start with a definition of Common Core Standards: The CCS is a set of common K-12 content standards in English/Language Arts and Math that is expected to be adopted in all fifty states so that education will be standardized throughout the country. The purpose is to impose rigorous standards so that our students will be better prepared for competing in the global economy and to allow for comparison of student performance among states. 

There are soooooo many opinions floating around out there about weather or not the mandated change for CCS is a good thing or a bad thing. I posted a question on my Facebook wall about this and I had tons of response and lots of various opinions. Some people believe that the CCS is the just another step in the direction toward becoming a socialist country. People are upset about the fact that the federal government imposed the mandated change without any say from teachers, parents or states. Others are upset that each state will have the same standard. People are saying that the problem isn’t with the standards themselves, but rather the way that they were adopted and claim that government should have zero say in what is taught in schools.

So here is where I start questioning things:

My first question is this: What’s the big deal? I honestly do not understand how CCS can be a bad thing. Unless I am missing something (which is very likely) I can only see benefits for the CCS. Once everyone gets over the fact that the federal government has inserted themselves into the decision making process and basically trumped the state’s level of any decisions regarding education, they will realize that the CCS has been implemented into 45 of our 50 states for several years now anyway, even though it wasn’t officially mandated. I get that people do not LIKE the way everything was put into action. I mean it sucks. It really does. Everyone loves to hate the federal government. I get that. But what I don’t get is how wanting our nation’s students to be smarter and achieve higher can be a bad thing.

I have lived in the south my entire life. I grew up in a tiny town in Louisiana before I moved to an even smaller town in Tennessee. My graduating high school class had less than 50 students. When I was in high school, I did not have very many educational opportunities. That is probably the reason that I made a career out of going to college for twelve years. I probably have more college hours than anyone in history! But honestly I was intrigued with college. I wanted to learn everything. So I took a million classes that I didn’t even need for graduation. My student loans will prove it!

Here’s the thing… With shows on television such as My Big Redneck Vacation, Honey Boo Boo, My Big Redneck Wedding, and Swamp People, the entire country thinks that everyone in the south is a redneck uneducated hillbilly. Every single time I watch the news, the news reporter is interviewing someone with rollers in their hair, rotten front teeth, and speaking horribly improper english. GUESS WHAT?! We may not ALL be typical southerners. But the country’s view of how educated southerners are is not totally off base. In the state of Tennessee there are major cities such as Nashville, Franklin, Memphis, Chattanooga and Knoxville. The best education is where the money is. Franklin has one of the highest ranking educational scores in the state which is no surprise since that is the most expensive place to live in the state. But Nashville, our state’s capital for crying out loud, scores the lowest score ever! And what about these small rural communities such as Manchester, Smithville, and Gordonsville? They don’t stand a chance because there is no money for the schools!

One other thing to note that critics are not happy about is the fact that when states conform to the CCS standards they qualify for a waiver that releases them from the No Child Left Behind expectations. This is a good thing right? It is my opinion that the No Child Left Behind Act is the worst thing that has ever happened to our education system because teachers could no longer focus on the child’s best interest or learning style because they had to start teaching kids to the test because this test score determined funding. UGH! This is why we homeschool. It no longer became about my child but rather this stupid test. CCS critics believe that the new standards will be “dumbing down” what is already in place for many areas of the country. But what I don’t understand is why they believe that they have to dumb it down? When you are in a southern state like Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana where schools are doing badly overall in comparison to schools in other states, then something needs to be done. Tennessee rates number 46 out of 50 states for test scores. So while critics will have you believe that the CCS will actually be “dumbing down” education, that simply is not true. CCS is meant to serve as a bare minimum set of skills that each grade level is expected to learn. Does that mean that we can’t teach them more? I would think that states still have the control to ADD TO the CCS right? This is an area I am not clear on, but seriously… why not?

The federal government has given 360 million dollars to create new computerized tests for students that conform to the new CCS. There is a lot of criticism about this because it is believed that at some point it will become the state’s responsibility to pay for these tests. Most criticism about the CCS has been aimed toward the money that this will cost and the federal government getting involved. But this country has been in a downward spiral for years and years. Yes I understand that money does not grow on trees but for crying out loud can we focus on students for a little bit?

So I ask you this? How exactly is the CCS a bad thing when it will allow failing schools to have the same opportunities as higher ranking schools? How can it be a bad thing that students all over the country will be able to compete with each other in the national workforce rather than just the local?

I keep reading articles that people are posting. And I have tried to do some research myself but I can’t get past everyone being mad at the government over the whole thing to find anything substantial out about the actual standards. So far everything I am reading is just people stomping their feet and getting mad because nobody at the state level had any say about it. And I get that, but I want to know aside from the fact that the government forced this… NOW WHAT? What does it truly mean for kids?

Now on the flip side of this, I definitely see some areas for concern. But like any rational person, I believe that concerns can be addressed and problems can be fixed. But what about representation? If the states are no longer in charge of education, then who will the school systems contact when there are problems with the curriculum working in the classroom? Right now it seems that there is no one available to represent the classroom. This is definitely a problem… but a problem that I believe will be addressed quickly. Maybe not! We shall see. But let’s hope so.

So what about home schoolers? What does the CCS mean for homeschool students? Well groups like Stop Common Core would have us all believe that home schoolers are threatened by CCS because the government wants to control EVERY ASPECT of education even for home schoolers. But there is simply no evidence that home school families have anything to worry about. To be honest a lot would have to change other than CCS. CCS may be able to strip the state of their say in education in the public school classroom because of grants that the government supplies to the school if they comply. And since every school wants more money, of course they are going to comply! But parents do not receive government funding to educate their children at home, and there is simply NO REASON for homeschool families to be alarmed at this time. The only reason for homeschool families to be alarmed would be when the government wants to step in and remove our rights to home educate altogether. And I’m pretty sure that is just NOT going to happen.

I am going to end this post by copying and pasting something that was shared on my Facebook wall surrounding this topic by one of my friends who does not homeschool her children. This is what she had to say:

“There is a lot of misinformation and misuse of terms in this thread (i.e. “socialist”). Common Core is geared towards schools who are at risk of not performing well (low income, minorities, etc.) just like IDEA is aimed at school districts that tend to not provide a FAPE for kids with disabilities. It in no way hinders teachers from going above and beyond. The problem with placing decisions at the state level is that in states where they have a large rural, uneducated adult population, the need for higher educational standards will not be a priority thus perpetuating the poor educational standards and subsequently poverty and all that goes along with it (unemployment, discrimination, obesity, etc.). There is no single fix for anything, but quite honestly if some states were left to their own devices, they would eliminate things like the holocaust or basic scientific principles from their curriculum, which is not beneficial to the country as a whole. As consumers of information, we have to be careful where we find our information about topics like this. Staying away from biased news media such as MSNBC and Fox News is best. And any time we see inflammatory terms like “socialism” you can almost bet it’s more of an opinion piece and not factual information. The only opinion we should hold is our own, which is based on our own research and reading of the actual law and peer reviewed, scholarly research. Funny fact: I read one article talking about how Common Core is leading to socialism and how kids in the new “program” were making socialist flags. Considering that socialism is an economic system and not a country, I found this humorous.”

Honestly her statement hit the nail on the head! (Forgive the southern term) Everything I have found online about the CCS has been so tainted with opinion instead of facts that matter, I can’t gather for myself whether this is a good thing or bad. People like those who have formed websites and groups such as Stop Common Core have listed some great factual information, but they have tainted it with negative tones and biased opinions so that people who read their message will jump on board for their cause. Now don’t get me wrong. They have some valid points. But are they so stupid to believe that the American public is not able to see right through their agenda? Groups like Stop Common Core are hoping that the general public is too idiotic to form their own opinion simply because they throw some fancy terminology and true facts at you. But the fact that they are tainting the information with tone and biased opinion, to me, makes them unreliable.

So I urge you ALL… both home school families AND public school families… to consider where you are drawing your information from before jumping on board with one side of the argument or the other. Don’t allow yourself to form an opinion from tainted or biased information. Be smart! And let our kids’ education be the main priority… not keeping the federal government out and not the focus on where the money is going to come from. Stop letting MONEY run our country and start letting someone do what is best for our students!

And because I am a photographer, and this is a really long post… I leave you with a photo. One that has nothing to do with this topic, but a photo nonetheless.

I photographed the Grasso family last weekend in Smyrna at one of our local parks. They were so much fun! And the way this little doll baby hogged the camera every chance she had, I found it hard to believe that they had not had any family portraits taken in a very long time! But I was VERY HONORED that this family chose me to capture them at this stage in their lives. Family portraits are so special, and I am saddened when I hear that some people go so long without having them taken. But one day, these adorable kids will be looking through an album or a cardboard box full of photos from their childhood… and they will run across these and remember this time in their lives, and they will cherish these forever!

If you would like to schedule a Spring Portrait session for yourself or for your family, just contact me. I have only a few spots left this spring but grab a spot while they are on sale!

Here are a few shots of the Grasso Family!

Sara and Patrick chose to shoot their engagement session at Sara’s friend’s house in Gallatin, Tn. They were such troopers too because it rained on us nearly the entire time. This was the first time I’ve ever shot in the rain, and while I was extremely nervous that I was not going to pull off a miracle, WE DID! You can’t even tell that it was raining!

Congratulations Sara and Patrick! I can’t wait to shoot your wedding this fall!

So how do we handle this? I am going to share with you how I personally handle this, and then I will offer you a few more suggestions that I know other photographers are putting into place as well.

First I want to discuss friendship. I can honestly count on one hand how many true friends I have. My definition of a true friend is someone who makes me a priority in their life, even if it isn’t always convenient. My best friend lives three hours away but there is never a week that goes by that she and I are not on the phone checking on each other and just seeing how things are going. And we always plan a trip to one another’s house at least once every two or three months for a girls’ get-away! But I also have other types of friends… friends who I may not keep in as close of contact with, but that I know will always have my back and are loyal and helpful. There are all types of friendships and acquaintances that we acquire throughout the years.

My best friend will always be offered FREE services because I love her as much as I do my own family. But the funny part is, she has never let me shoot for her totally for free. There is usually some type of barter situation made at the very least! Want to know what my payment is for an upcoming portrait session for her and her daughter? SHE IS GIVING ME A KITCHEN TABLE because she bought a new one. LOL. Now that may seem silly. But this is a nice kitchen table, okay? No seriously… the point I’m trying to make here is that even though she knows I would shoot for her FOR FREE, she doesn’t expect me to. Our friendship is not just one sided. She respects me and what I do for a living, and she understands the work that I put into what I do. But the bottom line is, even if she didn’t pay me in some way… I would be okay with that. As for the other types of friends that I have… the ones who I mostly chat with on Facebook… I may offer a discount. But that is for only those who value what I do and use me as their photographer every time. There is value in that for me and therefor it is worth the discount that I offer them.

And that is pretty much where I draw the line of offering discounts or free sessions and weddings to friends. There have been friends from high school who have popped up after twenty years of never hearing from them and have asked for free sessions. I just don’t do it. Why? Because I have to draw the line somewhere. I have to run a business, and if I go around giving everyone free or discounted services I will never make a profit. To me the answer lies in how much a person makes me a priority in their life. Bottom line!

I have heard many other opinions about this being shared in the forums. Some people believe that a true friend will respect you and value you enough to pay your fees. And while that may be partially true, stop and think about what might truly be going through your friends’ minds.

One photographer mentioned that what he does is to charge his friends his normal service fees, but then he turns around and gifts an album to them as a friend. I think that could work very well for some people. Another photographer mentioned that they will gift the engagement session for free, but charge a discounted rate for their wedding day. Some photographers even refuse to shoot for friends at all just to avoid the whole situation altogether.

But here’s the thing. What kind of expectations do you have of your friends? Do you expect them to just understand what all goes into shooting a wedding any more than any other client would? The general public mostly believes that when they hire a wedding photographer, they are hiring that person to show up at their wedding, shoot for a few hours, and then hand over some pretty pictures. They don’t REALIZE that it is hours and hours of time away from your family, and food on your table, and your electric bill payment. They do not understand that for every wedding we shoot, we are actually investing about 30 hours of our time into their photos. So if they do not realize what truly goes into shooting a wedding, how can we expect them to value us?

You have to decide what is important to you. You have to be the one to decide where you draw that line. And stick to it. If a tiff develops over money and photos, then you have to be the one to decide what is important! No you can’t work for free. But don’t expect your friends to understand something that they don’t experience every day like we do. COMMUNICATE! And foster the relationships that are important to you!

Introducing Snap Paint! http://stylegroupdesigns.wendy-cunningham.com/#/snap-paint/

I had a blast hanging out with them in Nashville for their engagement session! I can’t wait until the wedding. We are actually planning our vacation around it. LOL!

Congratulations Stephanie and Ragan on your engagement! Here is your sneak peek!