Nick Marino

Here's an overly long reply that I wrote...

2013-04-10T19:42:00.002-04:00

Earlier today, I listened to this podcast. Then I read this blog post. Then I wrote the following in response to that blog post:

Corey, I think you make a solid argument for seeking populace over passion.

But I think the main thing that makes TV a 20 million viewer form of entertainment is the nature of the video medium. You can watch video while you're eating, exercising, drawing, and hell even while you're driving. It's a more passive medium that requires less mental interaction. It has both audio and visual, and only interacting with one of those two aspects still means you're interacting with it.

Comics require more attention. You can't take your eyes off a comic and still say you're reading it. You can turn away from the TV and hear the audio and still continue to "watch" a show. Comics necessitate higher mental interaction, connecting the words with the images manually. I think that's what makes comics special. But that also makes them better suited for a more passionate audience, people willing to spend the time to create strong connections with the material.

Frankly, if you ask me, that's what I'd rather have anyway. I mean, do you want a comics equivalent of The View? A comics equivalent of the nightly news? A comics equivalent of a bad primetime sitcom? Those are lowest common denominator TV shows designed to appeal to the kind of big numbers that TV can pull. But even the lowest common denominator comics tend to have a fantastic degree of weirdness and conceptual philosophy going on behind the scenes.

I think the comics medium is okay... but it's the unusual culture of comic book storytelling that's really exciting to me. It attracts creators who like to tell bizarre, fun, and thought provoking stories. I'd rather have that month after month than something designed for 4 million readers.

BLAH BLAH BLAH, right? I deleted that comment because I realized comics are already doing those kinds of TV numbers... only they're doing them online as webcomics.

Probably not 20 million for a single webcomic, mind you. But there are millions of casual webcomics readers who visit their favorite sites everyday. DUH! Why didn't I think about that first?

Also, the webcomics thing negates the "weirdness" part of my argument because webcomics are pretty fucking weird. So maybe it's money that changes everything and not the size of the audience? Whatever. I dunno.

I guess my whole argument in the scrapped reply is pretty dumb, actually. But I put so much thought into it that I just don't have the heart to delete it!!! So that's why I'm sharing it.

The Summer of Van Damme

2012-07-19T10:20:00.000-04:00

Jean-Claude Van Damme is currently having a quiet career comeback -- nay, reinvention -- this summer largely thanks to his role in The Expendables 2.

It's not that the guy has ever stopped making films. In fact, it's almost the opposite -- since 1988, Van Damme starred as the lead in over 30 films. He's continued to be prolific long after most movie watchers assumed that his career stalled out.

What's remarkable about his vast body of action films is that he's played the lead in almost every single one of them, beginning with his first hit, Bloodsport. With the exception of a couple of brief cameos in the mid-00s, this held true for over 20 solid years of his career.

In his first few film roles, Jean-Claude had relatively small parts. I mean, he's fantastically entertaining as the weird dancing guy in a Breakin' crowd scene, but I think it's safe to say that it's a forgettable entry on his resume. I view this era as the first chapter of his career.

In my eyes, the second chapter of his career began with his legendary recut of Bloodsport, a movie filmed in 1984 but released in 1988 after Van Damme supposedly pushed for a re-edit. It's a breathtaking martial arts film that perfectly straddles the line between b-movie and blockbuster.

I don't know if Van Damme purposely set out to always play the lead after his first hit film, but that's exactly what he did. I could drop all of the names of the amazing and unusual movies from this second chapter of his career, but I'd rather just direct you to my Jean-Claude Van Damme Movie Review Master List, a single blog post containing Tweet-sized encapsulations of these flicks.

I view 2008's JCVD as the spiritual conclusion to the massive middle chapter of Jean-Claude's movie career. It's a brilliant film in which the real-life action star becomes a fictional action hero under the pretense of the fact that he's a real-life actor. Très meta.

However, last year's Universal Soldier: Regeneration is the chronological end of that chapter. While he's only in about half of the film, he plays the emotional anchor and his presence tends to mark the climactic moments of the story.

Following that logic, Kung Fu Panda 2 is the beginning of the third chapter of Jean-Claude Van Damme's career, marking his mainstream embrace of ensemble and/or supporting roles.

His current mini career rebirth is unquestionably due to the fact that he's begun to accept parts below the top billing. And while I think that's fantastic for his legacy, it's kind of a bummer for die-hard Van Damme fans like myself.

That's not to say that I don't understand his new career direction -- it makes perfect sense to me. And, frankly, I'm surprised it took him so damn long to start taking roles like the villain in The Expendables 2.

But just because I'm understanding doesn't mean I'm pleased. I'm going to miss his often absurd but almost always heartfelt lead performances.

The reason I'm writing this piece is because I watched Dragon Eyes, a new film featuring Van Damme listed in the top spot. It's an average direct-to-video action film, featuring some decent fight scenes and tedious dramatic moments... and very little Van Damme.

In Dragon Eyes, Van Damme plays Tiano, a mysterious prison inmate who trains the lead character, played by Cung Le. Tiano spouts nonsensical aphorisms, not unlike the real-life Jean-Claude, who has a reputation for saying ridiculous phrases with steely conviction.

While it's fun to see him turn his penchant for confusing fortune cookie quotes into a character, it's not a lead role by any means. I would venture to say that it's truly misleading to have Van Damme's name in the top spot in Dragon Eyes. He's just not in it enough to warrant that presence.

I assume that the filmmakers decided to bank on Van Damme's increased profile to bring attention to Dragon Eyes. Makes sense to me as a business decision. But as a fan, this is the first time I can genuinely say that a movie advertising Jean-Claude Van Damme in the lead does not feature Jean-Claude Van Damme in the lead.

Maybe I'm grieving Van Damme's headlining days too soon. I'm sure he'll have more starring roles. But from the looks of things on his IMDB profile, his increased activity is largely due to the fact that he's accepting supporting roles.

Anyway, I'll be enjoying the Summer of Van Damme as it happens, pleased to see quotes like "doing the splits like he never stopped working" or "seemingly back from the dead" popping up throughout movie reviews of The Expendables 2. But as a fan, I'm going to officially mourn the end of an era of leading roles for the man who preposterously managed to hold onto the top spot in all of his movies long after anybody thought he could do it.

My Top 10 Spider-Man Covers of All-Time

2012-03-20T12:49:00.000-04:00

Comics Should Be Good! (a.k.a. my favorite comic book blog) is counting down The 50 Greatest Spider-Man Covers of All-Time, starting tomorrow. Today is the final day for voting and I wanna share my personal top 10 favorite Spider-Man comic book covers with you!

10. Spider-Man's Tangled Web #19
By Jim Mahfood, 2002.

09. Web of Spider-Man #4
By John Byrne, 1985.

08. Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #112
By Kyle Baker, 1986.

07. Web of Spider-Man #32
By Mike Zeck, 1987.

06. The Amazing Spider-Man #641
By Paolo Rivera, 2010.

05. The Amazing Spider-Man (v2) #21
By Erik Larsen, 2000.

04. The Amazing Spider-Man #50
By John Romita, 1967.

03. The Amazing Spider-Man #224
By John Romita, Jr., 1982.

02. Peter Parker: Spider-Man #29
By Kaare Andrews, 2001.

01. Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #101
By John Byrne, 1985.

I knew from the start that John Byrne's Spectacular Spidey #101 was my numero uno. I also knew that I'd be including covers by Kaare Andrews, Erik Larsen, and Paolo Rivera.

But it was tough to round out the rest of my top 10! I went through cover galleries of every major Spider-Man series of the past 40+ years to make sure that I didn't miss any hidden gems. And I almost did!!!

Inclusions like Jim Mahfood, Kyle Baker, and Mike Zeck were a bit of a surprise for me (though, in retrospect, it makes total sense knowing my taste in art).

Putting my top 10 in order was tough too. Things switched places a lot and some gorgeous work even slipped out of my top 10.

In the end, I feel like this is a solid mix of classic covers and lesser-known beauties. I hope you dig 'em as much as I do!

My review of YIBR #77

2012-01-27T14:07:00.001-05:00

Yamagato Industries Business Report #77

*Disclaimer: The following podcast review should not be taken (100%) seriously because I am (mostly but not completely) full of shit.*

First off, I'm glad you're back. BUT WHY THE FUCK DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG?
Soooooo I sorta hated this episode at first... I dunno why, exactly... but I did.
But by the middle of the episode, I was loving it! I dunno what changed. It was probably me, because I've been listening to this episode over the course of a few days.
Colonel Panic is the shit, right? Best ever.
I didn't really care about the end of the year stuff until you started doing the best of YIBR categories, like best webcomic and best title card (hmmmmm my vote probably goes for the Magnum PI cut the wires one... but I love them all so much...)

Okay, my 2012 suggestion for you -- pick a single comic book issue and review it. But announce the issue ahead of time! So, for example, announce the comic you're gonna review at the end of the previous podcast so I can run out and buy it before the next show and then listen to you guys tear it to pieces.
OH GAWD. A Zeldacast? I dunno anything about Zelda.
Oh, and I almost forgot -- there was this one point in the episode when the music got kinda sad while you guys were talking and it was hilarious. You should fuck with the music more!
AND THX FOR ALL THE SHOUTOUTS IN THIS EPISODE!!! =)

RATING: 5.5 out of 7 for starting off slow but really picking up, to the point where I was sad when it ended =(

My review of 3 Chicks Review Comics #33

2012-01-16T15:13:00.000-05:00

3 Chicks Review Comics #33

*Disclaimer: The following podcast review should not be taken (100%) seriously because I am (mostly but not completely) full of shit.*

So Sue and Kelly raved about Francisco Francavilla's art in Detective Comics #874. Which is awesome, because he's great. But the thing that confuses me is: how come I hear everyone raving about his Detective Comics art but I barely hear anyone rave about his Black Panther work? If you know me, you already know I'm quite partial to Black Panther, so I've got a very strong bias in posing this question. BUT I GOTTA KNOW!! Did no one read Black Panther? Or was his art way different on Batman and people just liked it more?
And Maddy picked a Brian Q Miller Batgirl issue... DAMN people who liked that series LOVED that series. I didn't read it, but all of the love for it is finally making me curious.
I didn't read Wolverine and Jubilee. I'd intended to read it, mostly based upon the 3 Chicks review of the first issue. But I went to my comic shop and they were sold out. And then I forgot to ask them to reorder it for me. And then I forgot about it entirely :(
"He loves to do female characters." hehehehehehe *snicker*
Something that grinds my gears -- which is in no way unique to you three -- is that comic book readers almost always seem to say the "best" webcomics are ones done by published and/or established comic book creators. I'm specifically saying the phrase comic book creators on purpose -- I talking about people who come from comic book/graphic novels backgrounds or have print recognition, careers, etc. That's not to say their webcomics aren't good -- they are. And I know that my complaint here is really foolish and self-serving. But it grinds my gears nonetheless! A good comparison would be if people who primarily read prose always said the "best" comic books were ones written by people who have recognition as novel writers, ya feel me?
OMG, Kelly, I had no idea that the background in that Daredevil cover was all words until you said something! I've been seeing it posted around the web as a thumbnail, and I was like "what's the big deal? the composition is okay, I guess... but nothing mind-blowing..." BUT THE WORDS/SOUNDS THING IS AWESOME! So I get it now.
However, Maddy's cover pick is my favorite of the bunch (go H4H!!!). Here are my favorite covers of the year -- Batgirl #20, Butcher Baker #1, Batman Inc. Leviathan Strikes #1, and Uncanny X-Force #19:

I wasn't loyally reading any DC books before the relaunch. The most recent stuff I can remember picking up? I read the Aquawar issues of Brightest Day (which wasn't much of a war, BTW), and they were okay. I've read two issues of the New 52. Aquaman wasn't for me, and The Ray -- while decent -- hasn't hooked me yet. The other books? I flipped thru a few things but I didn't get into what I saw. However, I did buy the Batman Inc. Leviathan Strikes one-shot because 1. it had a ton of pages, 2. it had an awesome cover, and 3. the first story with Batgirl in the boarding school was bonkers good! So it turns out that my favorite DC comic published in the New 52 era happens to be a holdover from before the reboot.
I agree that DC missed a huge opportunity with its relaunch, but I don't see their PR as much of a flub. I mean, comic book marketing is rarely in step with the audience. I feel like it's been that way for a long time now. However, they really missed an opportunity with the content, in my opinion. I think they could've pushed the envelope a lot more. Instead, they just "Ultimitized" their line.
Kelly, what about Rogue being the lead in X-Men: Legacy? Doesn't that count as a female led book? And like I mentioned in the comments on the last podcast, Misty Knight is still the lead in Villains for Hire, despite the fact that the ongoing Heroes for Hire was cancelled. And aren't Storm and Jubilee the new lead characters in the adjectiveless X-Men series? I don't read that one, so I don't know. But that's my perception from the covers I see.
I have an idea, and please don't take this as a criticism, because it's not... but here's the notion: what if you did an entire non-complaining episode? The reason I say it is two-fold. 1. I'd love to listen to the three (or two, if I must) of you struggle to fight back ranting about things that piss you off, and 2. You always make incredible arguments for your positions, but you say the same ones every episode! And with good reason -- I mean, I'm a HUGE supporter of your agenda, and things obviously need to change. But what would you say if you couldn't talk about the opportunities DC's missing? What if you couldn't complain about what Marvel's doing wrong? I know you've tried that before to a degree. But I'm talking an entire episode with not one complaint! Even looking for positive stuff within the larger negative. What would that be like?
Wet Moon 6 = out in October 2012.
And finally... apparently this person hates my extended version of the 3 Chicks theme. Frankly, I take "made in 1981" as a compliment!

RATING: 5 out of 7, for being entertaining and insightful but losing me at some points and not having many lol moments.

People are stupid and they don't understand how the Eagle Awards work

2012-01-05T11:07:00.000-05:00

I just wanna put this out there because I'm seeing people all over the internet getting this wrong -- ANYONE can be nominated for the Eagle Awards right now.

So if you see comic book artists or comics websites or anybody else flipping out and saying "I've been nominated!!! OMG!" or "our site was so shocked to find that we've been nominated!!!" it's because this phase of the Eagle Awards is known as the nomination round, which means that it's 100% open to write-in votes.

See, as soon as you select "Other" for one of the categories for the ballot, it lets you type in anything you want. And when you write a new name, it gets added to the official list of options.

So, for example, you could write in "Poo Poo McPoopy Face" and it would become an official choice on the list for the next voter. Get it?

With that said, I still think you should fill out the nomination ballot and vote for Super Haters for Q19: Favourite Web-Based Comic. I mean, you don't even have to vote for anything else if you don't want to! Seriously -- they'll let you leave all the other fields blank. (Which I don't recommend... but it is an option.)

My review of 3 Chicks Review Comics #32

2011-12-28T20:44:00.001-05:00

3 Chicks Review Comics #32

*Disclaimer: The following podcast review should not be taken (100%) seriously because I am (mostly but not completely) full of shit.*

Note: I started listening to this podcast last week. Then Xmas happened. I picked where I left off today and finished the episode.
I'm so happy that you're embedding the podcast in the blog post now!!! Makes my life so much easier. Plus, it looks pretty.
I really liked your review of The Ray. So much so that I went to the comic shop last week and tried to buy it... but it was sold out!!! I went back today and they had a couple of reordered copies, and I bought the comic. I started reading it on the bus on my way home, and though I haven't finished it yet, I'm not disappointed so far. It's a really interesting and imaginative book.
I love the argument about Women in Refrigerators. For the record, I think Sue is right. I personally interpret it as only women. If it's another type of character being used as story fodder, then I say let it be _blank_ in Refrigerators.

The show got pretty weird when you started arguing about who's a bigger fan of violent sex. That was fun.
The Xmas superhero talk wasn't for me. I got kinda bored. Nothing against the conversation. I just don't care about Xmas comics.
I hate to say it, but I haven't read much of Marjorie's work. But her Astonishing concept sounds pretty fantastic! So I'm looking forward to checking it out.
I really appreciate your sing-along attempt but OH GAWD SONIC ASSAULT!!! BTW, I prefer Maddy's version of the song, with "the Batmobile LOST a wheel and the Joker TOOK BALLET."

My review of the Comic Book Pit #81 podcast

2011-12-17T18:46:00.001-05:00

Comic Book Pit #81

*Disclaimer: The following review should not be taken (100%) seriously because I am (mostly, though not completely) full of shit.*

I love the gimmick covers discussion! "Rub the Blood" is one of my favorites. There was also that great Wolverine #50 with the slashes and the "classified" folder underneath.
My personal favorite gimmick cover is War Machine #1, which is a brilliant foil cover because it only uses two colors -- black and silver. Great art by Gabe Gecko a.k.a. early Gabriel Hardman.

I think the craziest gimmick comic cover ever was Jab #3, featuring Shannon Wheeler's Too Much Coffee Man, which was ACTUALLY shot with a bullet. That issue of Protectors with the fake bullet hole that you talked about? They ripped the idea off from Shannon and his Jab cohorts. Here's more info about it.
I don't mind $3.99 books as much from smaller publishers. In fact, I never once regretted purchasing Udon's $3.99 books. They had gorgeous art and great stories. I enjoyed supporting them. Big Two $3.99 books? I have completely different feelings about those.
Okay, so the captions in Defenders... until Scott brought it up just now, I didn't know that Fraction put them in this new series. But I can tell you why they're in there -- it's a throwback to 70s Marvel Comics. There was a short period in the 70s where Marvel books included little phrases like that at the bottom of the pages (ya know, around the time the original Defenders series launched). Sometimes they would advertise other Marvel books for the same month, and other times they'd say stupid jokes. I don't know the exact years in the 70s that they were used, but I wanna say they were going strong in the middle of the decade.
Damn, you guys were rough on Adlard! Granted, I've never read his work, but the pages I've seen look really crisp and readable to me. Just sayin'...
Anyway, I listened to the rest of the show, but I don't necessarily have anything else to say. It was a really good episode.
Oh, wait. One more thing. Dan, you're in love with BOOM! Studios. It's kinda out of control. As a friend, I just want you to know that. I mean, I'm happy that you've found a new love. But consider this my intervention.

My review of the Yamagato Industries Business Report #76 podcast

2011-12-16T09:44:00.002-05:00

Yamagato Industries Business Report #76

*Disclaimer: The following review should not be taken (100%) seriously because I am (mostly, though not completely) full of shit. (And, yes, I know his name is Beeslo... but I prefer Beelso.)*

Link needs to talk more. But when he does talk, he should say less stupid things. Just sayin'...
Who died and made Beelso leader? I dunno why he's always trying to boss everybody around. He reminds me of Fred from Scooby-Doo. And I hate that show.
Mongo should do more fact-finding on the show. It's funny when he does that. Also, then actual facts would be stated and not just guesses.
I like John Romita, Jr.

I liked the show's topic, but I also sorta hate the topics when they just require you guys to name off stuff. I like discussion with viewpoints, which you sorta had too.
Look, that Watchmen movie sucked. It sucked hard. Beelso needs to shut up about how great it was. His taste in movies is like a high school vending machine. He only likes the stuff that they tell him to eat and he happily eats it. But if one person says it's not good, like said that peanut butter crackers sucked, then he's all like "OMG peanut butter crackers are so dumb... they messed these up so bad... but my Pop-Tart brand toasted pastry is so good because Christopher Nolan toasted it for me."
You should have an episode where you take the letters out of the names of your segments. Plant Bugle could be all about plants in comics. Ummmmm I forget the names of your other segments, but I think you get the idea.
Overall, I like this episode. Vera was funny last week, but I haven't seen The Walking Dead s2 yet, so that episode was poop to me.
In general, I like the Yamagato Industries Business Report. But I think it needs less reporting and more business. Actually, just kidding. I have no idea what that means. I just wanted to say a critique that involved the words from the title. But I gots nothing.
Also, you should change the opening theme in 2012. Maybe a Nik Furious original...

You should be reading Black Panther: Man Without Fear!

2011-08-18T10:38:00.002-04:00

I just read some direct market sales figures for June... and Black Panther: Man Without Fear is selling under 20,000. So I'm taking it upon myself to personally rep this book and try to get more people interested in it. Why? Because it's the only mainstream superhero book that I'm thoroughly loving right now. It's noir. It's street-level. It's clever. It's intelligent. It's breathtaking to look at. It's a joy to read. The Fear Itself tie-ins read seamlessly with the series even if you're not reading any other Fear Itself books. It stars a complex-yet-relatable (not to mention de-powered) T'Challa living and working in NYC, protecting Hell's Kitchen. To me, the art and storytelling are reminiscent of 80s Daredevil and Batman: Year One. The writing is crisp and refreshing, spending more time focusing on the intriguing personal struggle of the protagonist rather than getting caught up in superhero plot cliches. And you can enjoy this story regardless of how many Black Panther comics you've read in the past. It's a goddamn good comic book!

Future Predictions 2011

2010-12-21T01:12:00.002-05:00

How'd I do in 2010? CRAP. I got pretty much all of it wrong. So I'm ready for a good year of guesses!!!

FASHION
Flattops and other tall hairdos.
Jeans with lots of rivets.

DESIGN
Maroon.
Squares with rounded corners.

MUSIC
Accordions.
Tambourines.

COMICS
Female heroes rising.
Barbarians.

Future Predictions: 2010

2009-12-31T10:30:00.008-05:00

Okay, so first off... how did I do predicting 2009?

I was wrong about mullets, trumpets, triangles, Vikings, and bells. But I think I did a pretty good job predicting the increasing popularity of cowboy boots and Brazilian food. As for the supervillains one, I dunno... it's up for debate.

It would also appear that I'm predicting a bit too early, as evidenced by my 2008 prognostications. Both parachute pants (well, harem pants) and synths were very hot in 2009.

What did I completely miss? Vampires. Not that they didn't already have some steam building in previous years, but they really captured the public imagination in 2009.

So here's what I've got for 2010:

Anti-Heroes will be the new hot pop culture trend for the year, especially violent vigilantes who look badass while they're maiming / potentially murdering their opponents.

Ethiopian food will go mainstream, popping up all over major cities and being touted as the new "gotta eat it!" restaurant food.

The jazz sound will make a slight return in pop music, with more improvisational solos and freer melodies being heard in some more mainstream style cuts.

Molasses will be the new trendy flavor of the year in 2010, much in the way products with "honey" seemed to dominate in 2009.

Sidekicks and protégés will become a very popular focus of stories on film and television. Conversely, the originals will become the supposed "villains" or antagonists.

However, in comics, this trend will be reversed, with the originals becoming the revered heroes and the followers becoming secret enemies.

Blouses will make a strong return in women's fashion, especially the "flowing puffy blouse with tights" look.

Trader Joe's Avocados, YOU SUCK!

2009-10-01T12:33:00.002-04:00

That's it Trader Joe's... I'M CALLING YOU OUT! Your store-brand avocados are terrible!!! Whenever I buy them, they're all weird and half-rotted, even though they feel firm on the outside. And I'm sick of it!

Everyday for lunch, I eat rice and avocado. It's normally a very satisfying meal for me... EXCEPT when I try to eat your avocados and end up just eating rice for lunch! At first I thought that maybe it was just a bad bag. But it's happened three times now (as in 12 avocados!) and I'm so mad.

Maybe it's because I live in Pittsburgh. Maybe it's just the store I shop at (on Penn Ave in case you wanted to know, Joe). Or maybe it's that you sell an inferior, nasty product and it needs to stop!

Nominate Phantom of the Attic Comics in Pittsburgh for the Will Eisner Spirit of Comics Retailer Award!!!

2009-03-24T11:58:00.009-04:00

The 2009 San Diego Comic-Con is getting close... well, not that close...

BUT the deadline to nominate Phantom of the Attic Comics for the Will Eisner Spirit of Comics Retailer Award is getting really close!!!

THE DEADLINE IS FRIDAY APRIL 17th, 2009!!!

Don't delay. Get cracking and nominate Phantom of the Attic in Pittsburgh (Oakland neighborhood) for this excellent comics retail award!

Future Predictions: 2009

2008-12-29T10:23:00.008-05:00

Mullets will become accepted as high fashion.
Vikings will capture the imagination of the public, pushing aside both pirates and ninjas.
Cowboy boots will become the latest hip hop fashion statement.
Synthesizer "trumpet" solos will start cropping up in the middle of RnB songs.
Triangles will become the newest trend in automobile design (wide in the back, narrow in the front).
Brazilian food will rise to the top of trendy cuisine lists.
Bells hanging from zippers and tassels will become socially acceptable, if not popular.
Supervillains will become a hot fiction commodity as people grow tired of do-gooders.

Nasty Musings RIP; Nick Marino Has Moved to the AudioShocker

2008-08-07T14:48:00.004-04:00

For all intents and purposes, the Nasty Musings blog is retired. Nick Marino has moved over to the AudioShocker for all his blogging about comic books, etc.

CNNMoney Discovers that Comic Books Are Like Any Other Business Trying to Attract New Customers

2008-04-22T09:51:00.004-04:00

Wow, CNNMoney. Could you possibly take a little bit longer to pick up on the trend of cheap promotional comic books? Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns hold what appears to be an awkward impromptu interview with CNNMoney from the New York Comic Con this past weekend. They talk about DC Universe #0 and its $0.50 price tag.

Now that gives me a good idea! 50 Cent working with DC Comics. That would probably attract more readers than I can even imagine.

Secret Invasion Spoilers: Looks Like Skrulls & Rumors Ahoy for Marvel Comics

2008-03-25T13:57:00.007-04:00

Who really knows if Marvel_B0y and his blog are real? "Who cares?" is more like it! The whole damn thing is too much fun. I don't care if these spoilers are real or not. I just love how there's a big question mark hanging around the whole thing as we build up to Secret Invasion next week.

Then again, Schwapp seems to have the real spoilers. Or does he? Hell, I don't care if these are real either. It's all part of the fun to me. Let the Skrully speculation begin!

On a more personal spoiler front, I have been privy to peaks at Ms Marvel #25 and New Avengers #39. Both of these comics are extremely important for those looking to follow Secret Invasion. Plus they're both great stories with terrific art. Kudos to Bendis, Mack, Reed, Melo, and Benes.

P.S. Any and all of these links could go dead at any moment, so enjoy them while they last. I am not responsible for Marvel_B0y or Schwapp getting their content taken down (I have, however, taken the precaution that this stuff could go belly up and saved it as a text file just in case... may I suggest you do the same).

P.S.S. Speaking of stuff getting taken down, I posted a thread over on Talk@ on Newsarama.com a week ago to this day. The post was a link to my AudioShocker podcast interview with Gotham Chopra, Editor-in-Chief of Virgin Comics. In the podcast, Gotham let slip some exclusive news - Hugh Jackman is the latest creator to sign with Virgin to produce an original comic. My thread on Talk@ was deleted shortly after I posted it and I wanted to know why. I messaged (more than once!) the administrator over at Newsarama to no avail. Then today - voila! - both Variety and Newsarama announce the Jackman deal with Virgin Comics. Still no message from the 'Rama admin. Just remember, people - the AudioShocker broke the news first!!!

Comic Book Review: Pork n' Beans #1

2008-03-19T22:04:00.005-04:00

Pork n’ Beans (or Pork N’ Beans or Pork & Beans? I get a little confused about that…) is a fun humor comic about a pig named Norman that acts as caretaker for a household of hapless humans. Darcy, Leila, and Mike exist in this odd sort of age between 12 and 24. They act like young kids and they are referred to as kids, but Darcy and Leila have huge cleavage and Mike exhibits the kind of detachment that’s perfected only in the years following two decades of life.

But I guess that’s irrelevant, isn’t it? The point of Pork n’ Beans is to showcase the artistic talent of Matt Ryan, a kinetic and charismatic artist that’s an indie blend of Chris Bachalo and Jeff Matsuda. With that said, anything that blends the clever layouts of Bachalo and the expressive forms of Matsuda is bound to be enjoyable. The only drawback to the art is that it also has Bachalo's occasionally confusing compositions and Matsuda’s drastically angular tendencies. But more than anything else, the art is fun.

The writing by Darcy Naylor and Steve Kanaras is a mixed bag. The majority of the characterization is manic. That’s not bad. It’s just what it is. Some of the humor flows smoothly, while other gags are a bit jarring. Whenever something switches into a parody, it often becomes difficult to keep up with the joke. But when the gags all exist within the forward movement of the plot (and as opposed to diverging from the storyline) the humor is successfully passed from the writers to the readers.

The character personalities are fluid but I think I have a good idea of what we've got going on. I know that Darcy is goofy, Leila is the “straight man,” and Mike is the outlier (the Larry to his Three Stooges, if you will). Norman the Pig is like ALF but with responsibility and a bit of a grudge. All in all, I enjoyed this first issue. This comic book is a fun read with a lot of promise for even better stories in future issues.

6.5 / 10

Message to Orange Producers: Stop Coating Your Fruit in Wax

2008-03-11T10:10:00.005-04:00

I am so sick of buying oranges and dreading when it comes time to peel them. Peeling an orange can be tons of fun (here’s a hint: massage it a bit first and the skin will come off of the orange much easier – I’ve had more than one person tell me how well this advice has worked for them).

But peeling an orange bought at the supermarket is a little piece of hell I’d rather do without. It’s because the orange is coated in wax (see the second to last paragraph from the bottom). Peeling it leaves a white residue on my hands and little flakes of wax everywhere.

Is there a functional reason for the wax? Or is it just for appearance? Either way, it’s totally ridiculous that I should get waxed up hands and a barrage of flakes every time I go to eat my orange. So orange growers, producers, and packagers – please PLEASE stop coating your oranges in wax and just let them be. You’d be doing every orange eater out there a favor.

Candy Fan: Lifesavers Jellybeans Pastels flavor review

2008-02-28T15:43:00.003-05:00

Obviously, you know that I like comic books. And as you can tell from my podcast, the AudioShocker, I have interests in music, movies, and television. But what you may not know is this: I am a candy connoisseur.

Being as such, I decided to try the new Lifesavers Jellybeans: Pastels. I almost left the store with the new Nerds Jellybeans (hey, they're covered in a crunchy Nerds crust - how cool is that?), but these more classic jellybeans won out. Here's a breakdown of the flavors and what you can expect from this new Lifesavers product.

Banana - Artificial banana flavor can be a tricky thing to pull off successfully. This bright yellow jellybean succeeds in the sense that the banana flavor is light (with the oddest touch of mild nuttiness). That way, even if you don't like the taste it doesn't last too long. However, the overall flavor palette of this jellybean selection would be stronger if this banana submission was omitted.

Blueberry - Uggghhhh. So depressing. This baby blue jellybean was the very reason that Lifesavers beat out Nerds and made it back to my desk. But after tasting this one, it's obvious that it's by far the worst of the bunch. It tastes like the worst possibly Smarties you could ever imagine, mixed with a hint of foul berry. Blueberry serves only to drag down this set of flavors.

Cotton Candy - Oddly enough, this one is pretty good. Cotton candy is normal a loser flavor, but Lifesavers plays this one close to the vest and succeeds. This light pink jellybean tastes like the real deal. I heard complaints from others who tried this flavor and I understand - it is a bit perfumey. But I like the follow through. This is one of the better flavors.

Mango Medley - At first taste, this was my favorite of the bag. On second thought, it's just okay. Like the cotton candy flavor, this mango essence is perfumey. Problem is, this light orange jellybean tastes too much like perfume. The result is a slightly puckered face and a confusing experience. This one can go either way, candy fans.

Pina Colada - I am shocked by the authenticity of this pina colada flavor. I think the trick is that this white jellybean relies on the coconut to sell the taste, as opposed to the pineapple. It goes down smooth. It’s probably the best of this collection. As a side note, I swear I detected the most subtle hint of bacon while eating this jellybean. I am not making that up.

Red Raspberry - This lavender jellybean was an enigma at first. Raspberries are not purple, and this jellybean was a visual misnomer. The flavor doesn't lend itself to definite interpretation either. Like the banana, the taste is light. This would definitely be a better bean if it were stronger tasting. The raspberry flavor is decent, just barely there. This is the middle mark of the bunch.

Strawberry Kiwi - As much as I hate to see the ludicrous combination of strawberry and kiwi all the time nowadays, most of items with this flavor taste pretty good. It's like the fruit punch of the 2000s. And in keeping with its reputation, the light red strawberry kiwi jellybean in this bag is pretty good. Definitely more heavy on the strawberry end of the flavor, though. This one is a keeper.

Watermelon - Fans of artificial watermelon flavor rejoice. This chewy light green bean gives a quick kick of sweet watermelon as you bite into it. It fades fast, but the flavor is intense. For me, it was too strong (thus emphasizing the artificialness of the watermelon a bit too much). But others disagreed with me, noting this one as their favorite in the bag. I think it's up towards the top, but it's not quite as good as the pina colada.

Overall Flavor Rating: 6.8 out of 10

P.S. I figured it out. It's the combination of pina colada and banana that brings out the slightest hint of bacon grease. Weird!

The Top Five Things That Piss Me Off When I’m Walking Down the Street

2008-02-20T23:03:00.003-05:00

Here’s a list of top the five things that annoy me the most when I’m walking on the sidewalk, trying to get to someplace and do some $#&% that I have to do:

5. Walking Towards Me Without Giving Up Enough Room to Pass

You would think that this one would be higher up on the list. Fact of the matter is that this is more of an optical illusion than anything else. When people are walking in groups on the sidewalk they naturally seem to spread across as much as possible. If you’re walking towards a group of people that are coming at you like this, it always appears that the jackass closest to you is going to walk right into you. People who do this tend to be rather clueless, and they don’t even realize what they are doing until the last second. Right as you’re about to get plowed down for staying in your own walking lane, the moron on the edge of the group will duck in just enough to let you pass by unharmed. Most of the time, they’ll brush your arm. This is annoying but seemingly inevitable.

4. Walking Behind a Slow Group That Takes Up the Whole Sidewalk

Okay, this shouldn’t be so prevalent. I happen to live near a few different universities and college kids are the worst at this. No, wait, that’s not totally true. Suburban families also do this all the time too – especially the ones with strollers. The basic scenario I encounter is I’m trying to get somewhere in a timely manner (I’m trying to catch the bus, make an appointment on time, get somewhere before it closes, etc.) Sally Sadsacks and her stupid sorority sisters are having an obnoxious conversation about Billy Bonerface, and their entire gaggle is taking up the whole width of the sidewalk. Later on in life, Sally commits this crime again while walking down the street with her family that has been fathered by Billy. About 75 percent of the time, I have to walk out into the street to get around these idiots. Exceptions are always made for elderly people and handicapped people, of course. They can go as slow as they need to go. But if you can move all your limbs at a regular speed, you should make sure you don’t hog the pavement.

3. Side-to-Side Drifting While Walking in Front of Me

This is even worse than a group that spreads out like an amorphous blob because it’s always a crime committed by couples and single walkers. Maybe they’re talking about something or they’re on the phone. Maybe they’re lost in thought. Maybe they’re just stupid. I don’t give a #@$&. There is no excuse for drifting from the left to the right back to the left and then back to the right. Pick a side of a street and stay there. This always happens when I’m REALLY in a rush to get somewhere. I think the problem is that people think they hear steps coming up behind them, realize they have no directional ability, and attempt to pick the side of the sidewalk where I’m not walking. WRONG. You always end up picking the side I’m trying to pass you on. Turn around, figure out what side I’m really on, and then get out of my way. Thank you.

2. Refusing to Pick a Side of the Street While Walking Towards Me

I hate this one a lot because it’s so damned easy to avoid, but it seems like it will continuously plague me for the rest of my days. It’s the reverse action of #3. Instead of choosing the wrong side over and over while I’m walking behind them, this person chooses the wrong side of the street when I’m walking towards them. This is more often the action of a daydreamer or complete moron. They look up too late and suddenly realize that they’re drifting from side to side and my decisive @$$ is about to knock them over if they don’t get out of the way. For whatever idiotic reason, they choose my side of the street. I move quickly so as to avoid a collision, and then they move too. I move back, and then they weave in front of me again. I hate this.

1. Stopping in the Middle of the Sidewalk Right in Front of Me

This is my number one sidewalk walking pet peeve. If you see something interesting or you realize you’re going in the wrong direction, just politely step to the side. Don’t, for whatever inane or illogical reason, stop in the middle of the sidewalk. People have places to go. You’re not only causing me to move awkwardly, but you might get hit if I’m too close to dodge you. This pisses me off the most because it’s so easy to avoid. Just don’t stop in your tracks in the middle of the sidewalk! It’s that easy. People from the suburbs do this all the time when they’re walking in the city (or even in the airport or in the mall). It’s mostly middle aged, clueless adults with no sense of shared space that halt right in front of me and I have to swing around them in a split second while I curse under my breath.

Are You Reading The 99?

2008-02-15T18:31:00.006-05:00

I just finished another awesome issue of the most incredible comic book series currently being produced, The 99. I've seen next to zero buzz on this book, despite how solid it has been for the first five issues of its American publication history.

I'm not going to go through and recap the entire fictional premise of the story behind The 99. Suffice to say that it's a modernization of the themes that have made Giant-Size X-Men #1 a creative benchmark in comics. It's international in scope as it works with a fascinating premise.

Dr. Naif Al-Mutawa is the creator and driving force behind the book. Together with veteran comic writer Fabian Nicieza, Dr. Al-Mutawa produces a monthly series that debuted on the United States comic book scene in the fall of 2007. It's been stellar since its first issue.

At the end of every issue, Dr. Al-Mutawa publishes a short essay regarding the themes used to bring that particular issue to life. In this latest issue, he speaks of knowledge and wisdom, citing their value and their longevity. Dr. Al-Mutawa takes the content to the next conceptual level by enriching the reading experience with his revealing words.

If you can't find these books at your comic shop, you can pick them up digitally from Teshkeel Comics. I'm a big proponent of digital comics since I've been reading them for my advance comic book reviews. I'd give The 99 a shot in this format if I were you. The first issue of the series is even available for free.

WGA Writers Strike Scab Part 2

2008-02-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

This is another guest-post by my friend, Mort Duffingfield, who has more thoughts about the Writers Guild of America (WGA) Writers Strike and what it means to write the perfect sitcom.

Confessions Part 2: TGIS - Thank God I'm a Scab
By Mort Duffingfield, WGA Writers Strike Scab

Remember TGIF on ABC Friday nights? That's why I got into to this business in the first place. I was so deeply inspired by TGIF and its shows that I knew I had to become a television writer.

That uphill battle to become a TV writer is what makes my current role so much sweeter. By being a TV studio scab, it's like I've been given a direct path to forging my own TGIF-styled stardom. Imagine in two years time, when this whole strike is over and no one even remembers that I stole their jobs and worked for cut rate prices just to enter into the business... then I'll drop my own TGIF, Duffingfield style. It's gonna be beautiful.

Nowadays, dramas and thrillers rule the broadcast TV marketplace. Psssshhhh! Who wants that $%&#!!! Not me! Give me a sitcom any day of the week. I don't want murder and death - I want awkward situations that reinforce my narrow viewpoint on life that can be replayed and cashed in come time for syndication.

My latest pitch features a house of four moms that have each adopted their own baby primate. One has an orangutan, one has lemur, etc. You get the idea. The jokes come fast and furious as these four housewives struggle to raise their monkey-children in a quiet suburban neighborhood. I can already smell the studio cash rolling in.

I also pitched to write the Oscars. Turned down, or course. Elitist @$$holes. If they would have taken my radical new plan for the Golden Globes, they could have rolled out the red carpet like never before. The media coverage would have been immense. Think Willard Scott meets a professional eating contest, and then add a twist of paparazzi. Gold again, my friends.

But alas, I want my own TGIF even more. Tuesday night would be the perfect day. It's still the beginning of the work week for most people, but all their energy is already drained. I hit them with Monkey Moms back-to-back with two other family sitcoms. Put a workplace sitcom on as the debut half-hour and you have it made in the shade.

Next installment I'll introduce the workplace sitcom I'm developing. Think Gremlins 2 meets NYPD Blue. Yeah, it's that good. Until then, send any work offers my way and I'll scab it up for you. I charge the best prices in town while the other writers stomp around with crappy homemade picket signs and pathetic celebrity endorsements.

Comic Book Review: Only in Whispers #1

2008-01-23T22:03:00.000-05:00

This issue is a superb introduction to the Indie stylings of Free Lunch Comics. Only in Whispers #1 is an anthology book with tales of the supernatural. These stories take place in the past and the present, following characters both mundane and intriguing. Variety of tone is truly an asset of this issue. We experience freakish stories that carry their own individual flavors of eeriness. As a pleasant surprise, the different art styles contrast well with each other to produce a wonderful first issue.

To start off this collection of spooky tales, we witness a feud between a struggling writer and a potential Devil herself. Although the character context is somewhat open to interpretation, the strength of this particular story is that it sets the tone of this issue with excellence. Writer / editor / publisher Steve Kanaras works with artist / president Matt Ryan to tell this spooky story full of spiders. Hey, I love spiders so you know this sold me. I got a damn arachnid tattooed onto my shoulder so I better be down with this tale.

Next up is a somewhat confusing prose piece. Although I appreciate the attempt to mix in a bit of pulpy supernatural storytelling, this particular take didn’t do it for me. I feel like the momentum would have been best preserved by cutting straight to the next illustrated tale (which just happens to be the best of the book).

One Nibble at a Time, by Kanaras and artist Stephanie O’Donnell, is the best thing this book has to offer. The story follows a broken man who made a dark magic deal with a demon. It’s a hilarious interpretation of the “deal with the devil” concept. Makes me with that these two handled One More Day because at least I would have laughed my ass off. Imp, the hell spawn that helps take our protagonist to riches, is funny in an ALF-meets-Satan sort of way. My favorite moment of the story was watching the demon give the protagonist a high five on their way to glory. It was smart, irreverent, and smooth.

The next story is by Kanaras and artist Anthony Summey. The art is extremely strong in this tale, and so is the story’s concept. Rich with history, religion, and intrigue, these two creators immerse readers into a world of magic. It’s fascinating to see the way the story unfolds, especially if you’re a history buff.

The final illustrated piece is by writer / artist Andrew Pollock. His art style is like a fusion of Mike Mignola, Paco Medina, and Chris Bachalo. His visuals are cast in stark black and white images that emote with wonderful effect. His story deals with a haunting Banshee and a hunter determined to end the Banshee’s legacy of terror. The action was well choreographed, really expressing the violence of the battle. Artistically, this is the issue’s pinnacle.

At the end, we are treated to some prose tales of the supernatural, straight out of real life. I thought this was a terrific twist to the issue’s concept. I implore you – if you have a spooky real-life story to tell, share it with this comic book. All in all, this issue was a strong start for this Free Lunch Comics series.

7 / 10