Bang.bang.bang.

That is not an order.

• I realized today that I have very few expectations regarding my friends.  Be kind to people and be honest.  It is shocking how many people can’t seem to do that, though.

• I read the following on twitter a week ago: “Discussing another person’s moral failings is the most common form of gossip.”  I may do this under the unconscious pretense that I’m trying to derive some sort of life lesson.  In the end, though, maybe I’m just reinforcing an undercurrent of self righteousness.  Most of the time, I end up telling the person in question what I think their moral failing is, so that’s not gossip, right? It’s just terribly obnoxious.  In my defense, my levels of diplomacy border on being superhuman.  Still, is gossip actually gossip if you end up telling the person you were talking about exactly what you said?  I’m leaning towards a no.

• Someone I was talking to the other day told me that they met someone who works on the tarmac (spelling?  I’m talking about where airplanes land) and they found out that these people who work where the airplanes land do not have FBI background checks.  I was a little horrified by that.  Even more horrifying?  The person who I was speaking with, who I have known for almost 20 years, said, “I know, and he was Algerian, for God’s sake.”  What.the.hell. I mean, I’m sure a lot of non-Muslim/non-Middle Eastern people think that kind of stuff, and they probably say it to each other, but really?  This person was so shamelessly discriminatory that they couldn’t even hold it back when they were talking to me?  That’s just rude.  If you’re going to be racist, you should compensate by being polite about it.  And, no, I didn’t say anything to them because I assumed that if knowing me for twenty years couldn’t dissuade them from assuming that all Muslims and Arabs are terrorists, then my saying something was just a waste of time.  I just pretended I had something to do and ended the conversation.

• You know what’s stupid?  Mommy Wars.  If one more person tells me how great I am for staying at home to take care of my kids, I am going to scream.  I was raised by a woman that worked sixty hours a week, and I am well adjusted, intelligent, nurturing, loving and generally awesome.  When someone criticizes a woman for working outside the home in front of me, they’re criticizing my mom.  And a person could get cut for that.  Let’s assume that all mothers love their children.  Let us also assume that all mothers want to do what’s best for their children.  Let us also assume that what’s best for someone ELSE’S children is nobody’s business but theirs.

• Somewhere in that last sentence lies the key to ending human suffering.  The prize for guessing it is to languish in the knowledge that it’ll only work if every single one of us cooperates and that not one more reality show can ever be created.

So.  Yeah.  Not my best work.

But I posted.

• “India unveils ‘laptop’ costing $35 (The Guardian, 7/23/10)

While we might scratch our heads and say why would anybody want a $35 laptop, it would be good to keep in mind that about 86% of Indians live on less than $2 a day.  The down side to all this is that I’m now feeling even guiltier about what I paid for my MacBook.

• Butterflies: out of the blue (The Guardian, 7/18/10)

The Blue Butterfly is back in Britain, baby!! Yeah!! ::Read aloud in a bad Austin Powers impersonation for full effect::

Enterprising conservationists were able to bring this species back from extinction.  (Did I use the word “species” there correctly?)  Anyway, this makes me feel better about the future as well as being a human… being.  We might mess stuff up, but, we can fix stuff, too.  I know, that was deep, yo.

• “Leonardo DiCaprio In ‘Rolling Stone’: Shirtless & Talking Women (Huffington Post, 7/21/10)

I know, are the women talking and shirtless?  No, actually, Leonardo DiCaprio took his shirt off.  And this?  Is always good news.  Come on.  You know you want to look.  And, yes, this is TOO news of international proportions.

• “Refusing to Quit the Tour de France” (The Lede, NYT, 07/21/10)

Good for him.  It’s taking a lot of energy for me NOT to write something sarcastic about how blood spurting from your arm is a good excuse to stop and clearly this man has some acute form of a mental illness.  Oops.

So?  What good news did you hear about?  Or bad?  Feel free to join in.

Some of you were surprised, some already knew and most just skimmed.

I want to weigh in on this one, as a Muslim, as a woman who does not cover, as a feminist and a lover of freedom.

The movement to ban face veils in France is wrong and misguided.

Am I denying that there are women who are forced to wear the veil?  No.

Am I denying that it can be and has been and is being used as an instrument of patriarchy and oppression?  No.

Still, this movement to ban is idiotic and represents the depths of ignorance to which “the mob” can sink when victimized by selfish political expediency.

Whether or not the veil is required is a contested issue within Islam.  I’m not interested in discussing that in the least, nor where I stand on that. I simply want to address a movement that I beleive is mired in racism, xenophobia, intolerance and ignorance.

President Nicolas Sarkozy and his supporters would like to ban the Islamic veil because they believe it’s an instrument of patriarchy and supports Islamic fundamentalism and, therefore, is at the root of terrorism.

Okay.  I can see the rationale behind categorizing the face veil as fundamentalist and patriarchal.

Except.

Except that I had a friend who converted to Islam and despite being a single white woman who was raised in America, with not one Muslim man in her family, chose to cover her face in mixed company.

Except that my mother chose to cover her face in medical school, even though not one man in her family required it of her.

Except that my sister in law, who holds a post graduate degree, is a working mother, is one of the most outspoken people I know and is a generally strong woman chose to veil her face despite constant discouragement from those elder to her (who are Muslim).

Except that a lot of Muslim women choose to cover their faces because they want to control the level of interaction that they have with the opposite gender.

Why they choose what they choose is not the point.  That they have chosen of their own free will to exercise their religion in this manner is the point.

Their donning of a face veil is not denying a single other person the right not to wear one.  The veil might offend the people of France or make them uncomfortable, but that is not a valid reason to pass legislation banning it.  There is no philosophical point of demarcation between Sarkozy forcing women remove the veil and the Taliban making them wear it.

Fundamentalism denies exception.  It operates from the philosophical standpoint that a specific set of ideals work wholly and appropriately no matter what the circumstances.  This approach is one to which I am firmly opposed, regardless of the application.

It is why I put aside the traditional aspects of my faith and wholly and actively support legislation concerning a woman’s right to choose, LGBT rights and other “non-traditional” values.

I will not live in a fantasy world where everyone and everything fits into the neat little boxes that those before me created.

I will not ignore entire sectors of the world population, their emotions, their needs and their humanity so that I can live with the perception that all is right in the world and the only people that matter are the people that agree with me.

That is a hateful and unproductive way to live, and it is the path to humankind’s complete and total destruction.

Nicholas Sarkozy is a fundamentalist.  He and his supporters will not address the exceptional.  They have found their straw (wo)man and they are lighting the fires.  They do not realize that for some women, having to show their faces to men who are not mahram is an oppression.

Being a favored son of western civilization does not prevent Sarkozy from oppressing women or from being a fundamentalist.  He and his conservative supporters are making it abundantly clear that anyone who does not fit into their neat little box does not belong.

These people do not love liberty, equality and fraternity.  They love their own specific ideas about them.  The difference is significant.  And scary.

I listen to poetry every day.  On Pandora.

To me, poetry not only conveys feelings, but also represents unlikely pairings of words and images.  I heard this today, and the way the words mixed together and the way the artist presented them was… well, impressive.

In touch with the ground
I’m on a hunt down after you
Smell like I sound I’m lost in a crowd.
And I’m hungry like the wolf.
Straddle the line in discord and rhyme
I’m on a hunt down after you.
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I’m hungry like the wolf**

Art is everywhere.  Popularity and mass consumption have little effect on value, as far as I’m concerned. I would even say that those who are dismissive of something just because it makes a lot of money or is palatable by the majority are missing the point of art entirely.

Also, I hope Walt Whitman and this person aren’t too offended that I’ve categorized them along with Duran Duran as some of my favorites.  Something tells me it’ll be fine.

**This selection was in no way influenced by the notion that a certain American eight year old of Pakistani heritage growing up in the 80s may or may not have had about entering into the state of matrimony with Nick Rhodes.

While it all sounded exciting on paper, as the date got closer and closer, trepidation became outright anxiety.

I hate leaving my kids with someone else, even their dad, who is the greatest dad ever and for the record can totally take care of them without my help.

It’s because I’m filled with so much need to control every aspect of their lives, cough, love for them, I think.

But I’m going.  They’ll be fine.  I’ll be fine.  I want to go.

I am going.

And it’s a good thing because last week, I was informed that my writing will be recognized at the conference in a very special and highly public way.

Apparently, out of around 1000 submissions of various bloggers, 90 finalists were chosen, and out of those 90, 15 of us were chosen to read their submissions at the Keynote.

I’m one of those fifteen.

OHMYGOD!!!!!!!!

I realized this was a big deal when my very dear friend, Britt, who ranks among the 90 finalists and is very famous on the Internet, screamed, I HATE YOU!!! upon finding out I was chosen to read my post aloud.

The great thing about being friends with Britt is that if you want to know whether or not something that’s happened to you is a big deal or not, you just have to wait for that I HATE YOU!! and then you know it’s a big deal.  I HATE YOU!! in Britt-speak means, I am so incredibly proud of you that I want to weep sweet tears of joy.

It’s a complicated and highly nuanced language.

So, my dear friends, you are now reading the blog of a BlogHer Voice of the Year.

I want a take a moment to thank a few people who need to be recognized for their incredible contribution to my blog.

I started this blog a little less than three years ago, just to get my voice out there, just so I could feel heard.  As any blogger knows, those initial posts were sparse on the comments.

We can all say it’s about the writing and expression, but deep down we know the comments let us know someone is listening… in the beginning, it let me know someone cared.

Tariq, Adam, Britt, Sybil Law, B.E. Earl, futurowoman, Mr. & Mrs. Traci, Mr. & Mrs. Shabina and RW?

In the beginning, it was you that made me feel heard and let me know that someone cared and that someone was reading.  Your regular commentary propelled me in such a way that I began to grow as a blogger, as a writer and as a person.  Even now, when I write a post, you are the first ones whose opinion I consider.  Then, of course, I write whatever I want even if I think you’re going to hate it.

But you are still the ones I think of first.

This Voice of the Year thing?  You helped me get here.   So much so, that I would say that I would not be here if it weren’t for you.  So, thank you.

That said, every single person that has ever read or commented on this blog is also very important to me.  If I had the time, I would list each of your names, as well.

You are the ones that continue make me feel heard and thus each of you fulfill a very important role in my every day life.  You are my anchors when I am adrift in a perceived state of loneliness.

So, thank you for reading.

I appreciate you and honor each of you as well for having contributed in a very important way to my receiving this opportunity to present my work.

(I’d also like to thank God without which none of this would be possible, the Academy and David Boreanaz.)

(Trite and expected, but completely necessary.)

(Well, the David Boreanaz thing was a little unexpected, right?)