Nat's Knapsack

Even If

2017-02-23T08:18:00.001-05:00

The last couple months here in our family we have had to cling to God's plan and trust He knows best. Last week was especially tough on my heart and faith and music is my way of communication so often. Hearing just the right song at just the right moment... Last week while in a moment of fear, this song came on. It is beautiful!

Mothers Day

2016-05-11T20:36:00.001-04:00

If I'm being honest today was rough as mommy moments go. The kids stayed up late last night and woke up very early. Everyone was tired and cranky. I wasn't my best self and felt guilty about my failures today. Today's church service was much needed for this momma. A reminder that I'm not alone and that I have Christ to turn to who gives me grace when I mess up and who is there to help me with tomorrow. Currently bedtime is a struggle and tonight was no different. While Maverick cried, and Joe and I had been in and out of the room a few times, Nolan felt for his crying brother and grabbed his pillow and blankets and carried them to his brothers' room. He told Joe he needed to sleep on the floor "so that Maverick wouldn't be scared". My mommy heart just melted and Gods love shown through my 5 year olds heart. He wanted to take care of his brother. My boys fight, oh do they fight, but boy do they love. 💙💙💙 I am blessed. Exhausted but blessed. 😉 I want to remember these moments of love.

Happy Mothers Day

One Year Later

2015-11-13T14:42:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe it has been a year since we went to Uganda to get our boys. What a change life has been. A beautiful, chaotic, messy, emotional, lovely change.

These three boys are my world. They are so funny together. Maddox has truly started to do whatever it is Nolan is doing. He watches him all the time and Nolan loves it. He now has a little brother to tell what to do haha. Maverick joins in and plays too but he is currently more of a mommas boy and sticks close to me while he watches his crazy brothers. (Although you wouldn't be able to tell that from the picture above)

These boys/brothers melt my heart and make me crazy. Yup, I said it. But what do you expect in a house full of boys... It is loud, messy, sometimes smelly lol but so full of love. I laugh at myself on the days when I can't wait for bedtime and then once they are in bed, its so quiet I just want to go snuggle with them. I can't really say if its easier or harder than I thought it would be because I really wasn't sure what it was going to be like. I mean, I went from one child at home- to three little ones. It was an adjustment but I feel like we have a good routine going now.

So... 2 TWO year olds in this house now... yay... haha

They are certainly growing up and forming quite the little opinions, but they are also so so SO sweet. They love to give high fives, hugs and kisses, and if they accidentally hurt someone, they are very quick to say "I'm sorry". Its the cutest thing ever.

Going out is wild and crazy but we usually still have fun. The boys are very independent and always want to do things themselves. So you can imagine the messes we have X2.

Nolan is a WONDERFUL big brother. Lately he has really stepped up to help me, and he asks to. I know won't last forever so I'm thankful for it now. He likes to get them up from their naps, help them potty and brush their teeth. Oh yay, did I mention we have been potty training for over a month now. I wish I could say it has been wonderful, but well.... it hasn't. There have been a whole lot of messes, a few tears shed (yes by me), some moments I wanted to quick, but I can say we are still sticking with it. They do pretty well for a while and then have horrible days of accident after accident.

I am very thankful for our carpet cleaner, and steam vac.

Mondays are the only day we don't have to get up and start running full speed to get Nolan to school on time, so we usually take things pretty easy and I love these moments. All snuggled up in daddy & mommy's bed.

So, its been quite the year.

May 18, 2015 the boys officially became Butlers.

November 5th they turned two

and November 8th marked our one year Gotcha Day.

We are so very blessed.

Happy 2nd birthday Maddox & Maverick

Nov. 8, 2014/Nov. 8, 2015

Notes I jotted down over the year:

Maverick:

In Africa he would sign please

Jan 12- says "Uh-Oh"

Jan 22- "Thank you"

Jan 23- "sit"

Jan 26- Claps his hands

Feb 1- "Who's that?"

Feb 1- Can point himself out in pictures

Feb 5- "Up"

Feb 10- Weighs 15.5lbs

Feb 21- says "Paps"

Feb 23- signs more

Feb 24- Recognized and says "puffs"

feb 26- says "Mama, Papaw, Tessa, Ali"

May 10- Walking

Oct 12- Potty Training and in underwear

Maddox:

In Africa would sign please

Jan 6- says "Thank you"

Jan 26- new tooth

Jan 26- Claps hands

Feb 1- Can point himself out in pictures

Feb 10- 17.1lbs

Feb 21- "Paps" & "Up"

feb 24- signs more

March 3- "Mama"

April 27- walking

July 16- Pooped in potty

Oct 12- potty training and in underwear

Oh my heart

2015-05-31T22:42:00.000-04:00

Nov 3, 2014

What a blessed day it has been. God has truly calmed my nerves and has given me such a perfect day. Last night Nolan had a rough night, so this morning I woke up laying next to him and as he woke up he smiled the biggest smile, put his hands to my face and said "I love you mommy". These are the moments I treasure and dream of. Those precious mommy moments. Oh my heart. I sit here with tears running down my cheek as I think of moments like this and dream of these same moments with my babies. I want to be there for them, loving on them as they cry at night, even when you wake exhausted, you wake with love. Thinking of my 3 boys makes my heart burst. We hear things all the time about how blessed the boys and how awesome it is that we open our home to the twins, but honestly, we (both my husband and I) don't see it like that. We feel like we are the ones being blessed and we are the lucky ones to be able to have the honor of being their parents. That God would choose us to raise them, just as He chose us to raise Nolan.

Thank you God for letting me be their mommy!

Learning about "quiet time" with God

2015-05-31T22:30:00.001-04:00

Nolan makes my heart smile. Last night after I put him to bed I came in my room to read my Bible and he found me. I explained "quiet time" and sent him back to bed. So tonight after putting him to bed, he got up again and this time I was still downstairs. He asked me what I was doing and said I forgot to do my quiet time and read my Bible. The fact that he remembered... I just love him so much. So we talked about the fact that we will need to make sure he gets quiet time tomorrow to read his Bible.

He is growing up so fast and I pray he continues to have a loving heart and a heart for God.

As a parent that is my greatest desire for my kids. To follow the will of God.

.... He also (earlier) talked about how he can't wait to married. It's pretty cute. He often says he wants to marry me and I remind him that I'm already married to daddy. I remind him that one day he will find a girl and he needs to be kind, loving and respectful and that he will meet a girl who is kind, loving, respectful and loves God just like you.

5 months later

2015-04-23T11:32:00.000-04:00

5 months. FIVE MONTHS! Part of me feels like the twins have been a part of our family forever and the other part can't believe its been 5 months. Wow, what a change in our family. From 1 boy to 3. Its been great and crazy ha. If you have been wondering how we are doing, we are doing great, we are exhausted but we are doing great. The twins are adjusting amazingly. We couldn't be happier with how they are bonding to us, family, friends and how they are bonding with Nolan. That is my favorite attachment to see grow and change. Maddox and Nolan seemed to hit it off right away. Maverick, well he was a little slower. Now he is started to get in there and play as well. To listen to them all laugh and yell in excitement is truly a blessing. They all also fight, ha. Being a mom to just one I didn't see that much before. Maybe a little between friends but not very often. Now you can screaming in our house a lot. One has a toy the other wants, or someone has the cup the other wants, or someone is hugging someone else who doesn't want to be hugged. Lol Needless to say, our house is much louder, but our hearts are truly fuller. I do feel blessed to be called these 3 boys mommy. To hear Maverick & Maddox say "mama" just makes my heart smile. The looks I get now, and the smiles, I have truly been given an amazing gift x2.

20 Weeks with us

17 months

Maverick:

Has 4 front top, 4 front bottom teeth, and 3 molars, says so many words (outside, thank you, diaper, mama, dada, drink, eat, up and so many others) and likes to repeat things you say. He is really starting to open up and be more social. Its really neat to see. He crawls like Nolan used to, with one knee and one foot. Maverick is my snuggler, he will sit on my lap and snuggle and give kisses.

Maddox:

Has 4 front top, 4 front bottom teeth, and 4 molars, is starting to talk more. He was the first to talk and I know he can, but he likes to let his brothers talk for him. He does the best when Nolan asks him to say something. :) He clings to mommy when people first approach but eventually opens up and plays and smiles a lot. He crawls on his knees and is quick. Maddox is Nolans buddy and they play together so well.

They both love playing with balls, balloons, bubbles and being outside. They are both very ticklish and I love to hear them laugh. They both walk, and walk quickly, with the walkers aka pushers as Nolan calls them. They both LOVE to eat and would eat all day if they could.

Brothers

From a new mom of three

2015-01-14T19:25:00.001-05:00

Wow what an amazing transition this has all been. It's been a long journey for sure but I have truly never been happier. These boys have blessed me so much! All of them!

I continue to learn about the twins but also about myself and my family. This is what was meant to be. I will never diminish the sadness, which is the need for adoption, but I am so in awe of how God works through it. Our boys both lost their biological parents and that's sad to me. They were both young and beyond that I won't know much about them but I can imagine they were happy and in-love and loved the children they never really got to know.

I just read an article mid writing this post

See here: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/better-way-talk-about-adoption

I am so blessed God chose us to complete the boys journey. They truly complete me. I know that's cliche but it's so true. In our family, this has been the best thing to happen to us. Watching my family change has been amazing. I see Nolan in a different light and the same goes for my husband. I have actually never been more attracted and in love with my husband, Joe. God is so good, all the time. He knows how to work a sad, tragedy thing into something for His glory!

I watch my sons grow, Maverick is a snuggler and Maddox is a lover of most people but he sits back for a second. Once he knows you are ok he will latch on and love you. He is quick to do it though and isn't a big snuggler. Where Maverick on the other hand will snuggle. He will also be social but might not show emotion right away. You can pick him up but he will judge you until he is comfortable and you won't see his beautiful smile until he is comfortable. They are so different it amazes me and makes me smile. Then there is Nolan. Oh my sweet boy who has grown so much. His heart is so big. He loves fully and completely! When I watch him with his brothers I just feel joy. His excitement when they are around is pure and beautiful. I could have never imagined all this. We are so blessed by our boys.

Thank you all for your love, prayers and support. We truly truly appreciate them!

Nolan, Joe, Maverick, & Maddox

Maverick

Maddox

Maddox learning to pull himself up today

And the race begins

Gods got this!

2014-12-08T09:33:00.001-05:00

12/8/14

Today was a long, long day. But it was a good day and one that I know God has His hand in.

Today we had our document check appointment at the U.S. Embassy. But let's start at the beginning of this whole process... And let's start with myself, mom and the boys heading out for our first safari Friday morning around 6:30am. We had just had the boys IOM check up appointment Thursday and were told it would take around a week for all the paperwork to reach the embassy and for us to get our document check appointment. (The IOM paperwork process started Tuesday but it's about 5 days from the last appt that everything usually gets to the embassy) So we planned a safari for the weekend. It takes about 6-7 hours to get out to Parra Lodge and the road was bumpy (that's an understandment) but it was beautiful! We set up some cushions on the floor of the van and the boys slept some. It was a great idea!

After a couple hours we arrived at a restaurant to have breakfast.

The place was amazing and it's where some famous people stayed while filming some Africa movie haha (you like those details- well my brain is barely working so that's all I have right now) :)

So anyway, we headed to the lodge and once we entered the park we saw some of the. Most. Amazing...

Termit hills!! I was so excited for the trip and these mounts just amazed me. Haha

We also saw baboons along the road. And we stopped at Murchison Falls- it was beautiful!!

(And another "ant" hill- that's what we thought they were)

Anyway- onto the safari and then the details of today.

The safari was amazing! We saw elephants, giraffes, some kind of buffalo, all sorts of antelope, baboons, hippos, a rabbit and a rat.

We also saw this tree that my mom thought people hung actual sausage in.

That was pretty funny!

I will have to show you more pictures of our safari later.

So as we are waiting on the ferry, Joe calls me and asks if I have internet access and if I have seen the email. We got an an email stating our document check appointment was scheduled for Monday at 11am! We could not believe it! Unfortunately I didn't have my documents I needed for the appt yet from my attorney..

So last night (Sunday night) we had arrived back from the safari, and Patrick dropped off my file at midnight. I was so exhausted! I had to leave it for the morning- there was no way I would be able to look at it all then. So I went to bed around 12:30. the boys had a rough night and both had me up at 5! By 7 I had them back down again, grabbed my files and started going through them. It was a stressful morning. I had myself all worked up and felt sick but God worked everything out!!

So the 4 of us- Myself, my mom and the boys arrived around 10:45 am to make sure we were on time for the 11am appt. We were seen around 11:30 and I had everything but their 2x2 passport photos. I could not find them! All I had were the small ones. So the lady said they would look over my file and I had 30 minutes to go get new ones reprinted and return to the embassy. I was anxious let me tell you, but the lady was very nice about it. We hopped back in the car and went back to the photo place to get more copies of the 2x2 photos. (Ps- I found my originals while waiting back in line at the embassy, AFTER I went and had more made lol)! Oh and I also had some spelling errors in my file but because I got it the day before there wasn't anything I could do but point them out during doc check. She didn't like "all" the errors (there were only 3) but she took it and made notes for me. So when I returned, I dropped off the passport photos, paid for the visas and she told me to come back at 3pm for my exit interview. Awesome!! So while I was dropping off the photos, the driver took my mom and the boys back to the house. Because after the document check I needed to go into town and see my lawyer so that I could go over everything and prepare for the exit interview. I got stuck in traffic but tried to stay calm knowing Gods got this!! He has brought me this far.

After I talked with the lawyer for about 30 minutes I headed back to the house to get my mom and the boys for the exit interview at 3. We were so blessed to be seen the same day.

So... The exit interview. Wow, talk about prayer. All the prayers surely calmed my nerves and I was ready! I was told to not let the embassy fluster me and to argue my case, I didn't have to do too much of that. He asked me questions about their story and mostly about what happened to the parents and why I didn't know more, or the family didn't know more.... We were in the tiny room for about 35-40 minutes and he told us to step out and he would call us back. After about 15 minutes he called us back in (mind you- this is a room not much wider than the door itself and has a glass window in it and you pass things back and forth like a teller window. You could maybe fit 4 adults standing in that room)

Anyway, he said that he doesn't have any problem with their paperwork or their story but the twins grandmother has HIV so he wanted to boys tested (again) but by IOM this time instead of from the hospital. So now here we are. Everything went great, and this is something that can be easily done it just takes some time. We don't know how much time yet- it could go quickly. I will hopefully know more tomorrow when the lady calls me back to schedule an appt with IOM. After that, the results will be sent directly to IOM and they should issue the boys their visa's.

So all in all- a great, exhausting day!

When will I learn

2014-12-01T06:22:00.001-05:00

Today I got overly emotional and angry and I shouldn't have. I was confused and upset and venting at all around me. I'm certainly not proud of myself. This process is confusing and one that you are not in control of. I think I am slowly learning that God is trying to teach me how to let go, stop making my own plans and just trust Him and His timing. When will I finally learn?

We have been very lucky and very blessed to have all the help we do here, even when I don't realize it.

So no more pouting, or venting and getting upset- now is the time to enjoy Uganda and these two sweet boys!

Our IOM appointment is set for Thursday at 8am.

Oh how He loves us

2014-11-28T14:29:00.001-05:00

Three weeks

It's been three weeks since we came to Uganda to add to our family. Some days it feels like we have been here a year and other days it seems to go fast. Today was a slower day, a hard day, a beautiful day and a renewal day. Today I cried. I cried from all the ups and downs, from the love I have for these two sweet, ornery boys and the pure love and heart wrenching pain I have for my son back home. I broke down and needed God to pick me back up and you know what, He did. He gave me a husband who loves me, who comforts me, He sent my mom across an ocean to be here on this day who understands and he gave me a new friend to laugh with.

God took care of me today.

Oh how He loves us!

Oh how I miss him and his sweet smile, his silliness and giant hugs.

Maddox & Maverick

Rain, such beautiful rain

2014-11-28T14:28:00.001-05:00

Today it rained, the sun shown through the clouds and it rained. We got the call this afternoon that the boys passports were ready and we needed to get down to the passport office as soon as possible. It was almost 3 and traffic was horrible. We weren't sure we would make it.... But first let me back up and show you how God works.

Today was Friday and today was our girls shopping day, or so it was supposed to be. My mom arrived last night and so this morning when the boys went down for a nap, me, mom & Christine went on a walk to the bakery for some coffee and to show mom around. The sun was shining then and it was a beautiful morning. Our plans were to all go out shopping around 2 if we hadn't gotten word about passports by noon. We scheduled a driver (Charles- who is amazing) and he was to arrive at 2. We had called him late so he was further away then we realized and at 2:30 he still wasn't here. Also at 2:30 Joe got the call that our passports were ready after all and he and I needed to head to the office. By 3 Charles was here and away we went, we made it there in record time, even with crazy traffic, God made a way. But do you see? I was supposed to be out shopping with the ladies at 2, I wouldn't have been around and ready to go to the passport office, God held up Charles in traffic to make him late so that he could take us to the office instead of the women out shopping. His hand is in it all.

So then the rain came. What a beautiful and freeing rain it was. I can't really explain it. We were running through the rain, pretty much the only people (and only muzungus around) running through the rain with huge smiles on our faces as we tried to figure out which tent to go to and pick up our passports. That rain on my face actually felt amazing. I am not one to like to run around in the rain in wet clothes and today I Loved it!

We finally had or boys passports.

Waiting, waiting, waiting

2014-11-17T06:08:00.001-05:00

Now we wait. We wait for the written ruling to be given to our attorney and for the word that the passport office needs to see us. Then once the passports have been applied for we wait some more and pray. We requested our blue form today (before we got our passport). Currently that is working, that's not to say that could change again. After we get our blue form we head to IOM for the boys medical checks. Then when the medical checks and passports come back we ask for an appointment at the embassy for document check then request our last embassy appointment for the boys visas! Then we head home. It all seems "easy" but it all takes so much time and everything must be PERFECT.

So as we wait we are focusing on the boys health. We want to get them super healthy so we stay around the house a lot. They eat, play, poop, eat, sleep repeat. :) Once they are 110% we may try and venture out more. So for now we pray things move quickly and the boys get stronger & stronger. It also costs to hire a driver so we figured we would do more things when Patrick calls and we have to do adoption related things Togo to as well. When you hire a driver it is the same price for 1 hour as it is for the entire day, and It all adds up fast.

So while the boys are taking their second nap if the day, we relax, I blog and drink my coffee. I'm still so super excited I found it and my cup! Ha if you know me you know I don't go far without it.

Thank you all for your prayers! I've been fighting a cold so I'm now taking the cipro we brought so hopefully that will kick in soon. Other than that we are doing pretty good. Just missing Nolan.

Off to the clinic

2014-11-13T14:09:00.001-05:00

Today we took the boys to the clinic for a check up. We had a medical student who owns a pharmacy come to the house to check out the boys the other day. He gave them a different antibiotic to help with their cough and some vitamins for them but he reccomended taking them to the clinic to get checked out. My sweet, bubbly, laughing Maddox just isn't himself. Maverick however has been showing us his true colors and has completely opened up to us. He now smiles all the time and laughs and talks to his brother. They both melt your heart.

Maverick is ticklish under his chin.

Maddox likes to rub his eye lashes or mommy's when he is tired.

So we took them to the clinic and they got a check up (no fevers!) and a CBC test done to see if we could find anything there. The boys are both fighting a viral infection and are slightly anemic. The best thing for them now is rest and nutrition. Lots and lots of food and liquids.

The thing with the boys, and we found this out on monday when we met with our attorney, is that they were in worse condition than we knew about. At one point in August, when we found out the boys were in the hospital, the baby home director called our attorney and told her that she thought she was going to lose one or both of the boys. They were in really bad condition. They were malnourished, being treated for malaria and simply just so weak. This is when we found out the boys were in the hospital but no one told us how bad it was. We had everyone we knew praying for the boys and after a few weeks they gained some strength back and left the hospital for the baby home. They were in the hospital 3 different times, that we know about, in 6 months. In June when they came into the baby home they were almost 9 months old and only weighed around 10 & 11 lbs. They were and are tiny but oh so mighty! They are fighters and they are still fighting now. Right now they weigh somewhere between 12 & 15 lbs. and they are growing. You can certainly see a difference in Maverick. He was so tiny.

We are very thankful to everyone for all your prayers and thankful to God for keeping our boys alive and watching over them. One day I hope they look back and can see how Gods hands were on them.

Please continue to pray for health for them both.

Oh and on a different note- Joe rode his first boda boda today! I was so proud of him! We needed to get something to the clinic and the best and quickest way was by boda and he did it! I'm ready for it to be my turn. :) that and I want to try the grasshoppers. Things on my Uganda bucket list.

Court Day November 12, 2014

2014-11-12T12:35:00.001-05:00

Another "wow, what a day" day :)

Today was court day. Our appointment was at 2:30 and our driver wanted to make sure we weren't late so he scheduled to pick us up at 1.

So the morning was pretty laid back. The boys woke at 6:30, ate and we're back to sleep around 8 for about 30 minutes. Once they woke up we brought them downstairs to play while we finished breakfast.

We sort of goofed off a bit too long and all of a sudden needed to get ready. As soon as I started to get ready the power went off. But you know, that's ok, I wasn't going to let that bother me, and I didn't really need power for anything anyway. We got ready and since the traffic wasn't very bad our driver gave us more time to gather things and load up. We packed extra clothes for the boys just in case, formula, snacks, diapers, and water for us. Then we headed to the court house. When we arrived it certainly wasn't like anything I expected. There were guards at the front and then you waiting outside by the van until our attorney came and got us and told us we needed to hurry and get inside because he was ready for us and wanted to get us in quickly between another case. We ended up being in there only 20 minutes, we stood when he said our names and he asked us only one question- "where are you from in the US". Joe answered and that was about all that was said from us. Our attorney is very good and she had everything prepared perfectly. They talked so quietly I couldn't really understand what was being said. After it was done he asked our attorney when we were going to leave. She explained to him that we would like this expedited because of the boys health and he asked us what day we would like the ruling and then said "would monday be fine?". Wow, um yes! I didn't really know if we were suppose to answer but I smiled and shook my head. After we said thank you (softly) and left.
Outside we talked with the 2 uncles and Hillary (the lady at the baby home). We took some pictures and talked about coming to visit the one uncle and grandma after we get the visas if we can...
That was it for us. Our attorney will pick up the written ruling monday (if all goes as planned) and we will legally have guardianship of the boys. Next we have to apply for passports and wait.
It was a good day!

Relaxation day

2014-11-11T11:40:00.000-05:00

11.11.14

Oh this was a much needed relaxation day. I was up from 3-5, boys woke at 6:30, ate and fell asleep until we all woke at 9! Wow! We missed breakfast but it was so nice to sleep in knowing there was nothing we had to do today but spend time with the boys.

So once we got ready we hitched a ride with Herb & Harriet to the nearest bakery and walked back after.

It was a beautiful morning! I still wasn't feeling the best but after a little something to eat and a walk back to the house, I was feeling much better! I also stopped taking my malaria medicine last night. It was making me feel gross and dizzy. I had lost my appetite so I was weak to top it off. It just wasn't worth it. Here in Uganda they have medicine that can easily take care of it if I get sick.

The sites along the way are simply amazing. Simplicity and friendly people! Joe is also now known as Salonga Joe. Which means father of twins. (I am Nalonga Natassia- mother of twins)

Sites on our walk back

The gate to Herb & Ellens & the outside- our balcony is currently the second (& third) from the left (top)

It was a good day! Maverick has really stared to open up. He now smiles and laughs alongside his brother. Maddox was much quicker to get to smile. He gave us a smile on day two when I was pumping his legs. It was such a precious moment. I can't wait to show pictures of their beautiful smiles!

We have been learning so much about the boys the last few days.

Maverick: he loves peach & blueberry puffs, bananas, and drinking his milk from a cup- not a bottle. He had been more quiet up until today. He will let me feed him anything. He is a big snuggler and cries when we put him down for naps if he isn't fully asleep.

Maddox: he is not a big fan of puffs or bananas, although be ate one sunday, he hasn't touched it since. He does not like to be fed and always wants to do it himself. So much so that he will spit out whenever I put in his mouth, look at it and then possibly eat it. He loves to smile and we think he is going to be quite onery.

They are both changing so much!

When we first got them they didn't make a sound. They just held on and snuggled up to us. Maverick was very cautious, Maddox was too but not as long.

They were both sick the first few nights/days we had them and on the first night they had temperatures of 102 and Maverick shot up to 103 (rectal temp). It was a scary night.

Thankfully they are slowly getting better.

We finally meet!

2014-11-08T14:32:00.000-05:00

Written 11.11.14

Wow, so much has happened since my last post. I was going to blog more but 1- my computer died and 2- I have been a bit busy. :)

So let me start with the baby home. (11.8.14) Even driving there it didn't seem real. The roads were rough and got even worse as we came close to the home. Once we arrived I saw a gate that I had seen before in pictures and I knew we were there. My heart started to pound and I was excited and nervous all at once.

Oh the children. I wanted to love on each and every one of them. They were all so precious and beautiful. One of the first little boys I saw grabbed me, looked up and said "mamma". Oh my heart! I wanted to scoop him up and squeeze him but I also wanted to be careful and not confuse them. I honestly wasn't sure what to do. As we were greeter by all the kids they were calling us and asking us to come inside, this is where we thought the boys would be. Once we got into the tiny room inside, there were 3 couches and 2 chairs and we were told to sit. After a little bit Patrick informed us that they weren't expecting us until next Friday and they had taken the boys to the clinic to be checked out for a cough. So while we waited we just couldn't help but love on the kids. There were a couple of boys I wanted to find and meet and take pictures of, and wow, when you get your phone out to take pictures they all get so excited and we were swarmed with children. I have so many pictures of these beautiful kids.

After we waited a while it got really warm inside and so we decided to step back outside and play while we waited for the boys to be brought to us. I had also packed some balloons for the kids and we asked if we could blow them up- I thought it might be best if I went in the van to blow them all up before we got them out- I got only 2 balloons blown up when I saw 2 caregivers walking in with the boys. I immediately stopped, threw the 2 balloons out and turned and starred- there they were. I almost froze. Our beautiful twin boys- and wow did they look a like. We greeted her and she turned to me and looked at this tiny baby and said "this is your momma" and handed me Wasswa. Time sort of stopped, they brought Kato over and Joe wanted to take him but asked if I wanted to hold both but I let him have one. It seemed only fair ;)

Again, I couldn't believe it. Here they were, one in my arms and one in Joe's.

They asked us to come sit down so they could talk with us and also explain the clinic visit. They had medicine to give us for the boys and we wanted to thank them for caring for them for the last 6 months. There were tears, hugs, pictures and prayers. They children all gathered and prayed for Wasswa (Maverick) & Kato (Maddox) and they sang. It was beautiful. Joe then asked to pray as well before we left and there were more tears from this momma.

We had our boys and we were allowed to take them with us. Oh, they did ask us when we had them if we wanted to take them today- neither one of us hesitate and we both, together, said yes. There was no way we were ever leaving them. Joe even said, if we can't take them today then we are staying the night there- they all laughed.

It was a perfect afternoon and we were smittened.

Now off to the store for formula & diapers. (We were told huggies are the best here- not pampers. So we have huggies and later needed to buy 7 days. They both work fine.)

We both agreed that it would have been better to have gone before we got the boys but we didn't know what size diaper or what formula to buy so we waited. It sure felt like it took forever at the store because all I wanted to do was get them back to the house and love on them. They snuggled right in and Kato fell asleep in my arms.

This momma was in love!

I have more to share and that will come later in another post and hopefully soon-- pictures :)

The day we have been waiting so long for.

2014-11-08T06:11:00.001-05:00

Our first full day here- Saturday November 8th

I cannot believe this day is here. Last night we arrived in Entebbe around 10:30pm and was met at the airport by our driver Patrick and our friends Kara & Melody. We came with gifts from home and they came bringing goodies for us. (Thank you!!!) :) After a short drive (maybe around 30 minutes) we arrived at our B&B, Alirikos.

Patrick called the gate keeper and he let us in and the men (including Herb) helped us with our luggage. It was late so everyone was quiet but so friendly. We made it to our room, I unpacked some and we settled into our netted beds. Oh how Nolan would love his "tent" if he were here. We were both a little wired so we took a sleeping pill and started a movie on the iPad as we both fell asleep.

As morning came, surprisingly enough we both slept in. I figured we would struggle to sleep, but that unisom did the trick. :) We talked to Patrick last night and knew that he wouldn't be back until 2 to take us to the baby home and meet the boys. So the morning has been filled with unpacking, an attempt at a bath, some breakfast and making new friends. It's noon now and shortly lunch will be served. After lunch we need to venture out and get a few things (including a pre paid cell phone and Internet access).

The day is here and our lives are about to change forever!! We cannot wait to meet the twins.

A picture of our room and the beautiful view!

Traveling note for Amsterdam

2014-11-07T03:37:00.001-05:00

11.6.14

Traveling note to those adopting or traveling through Amsterdam. This might be an odd note and known to most, but it was not something we knew about. When landing in Amsterdam, you will go through security again before you can sit in your designated area and board. So don't order too much coffee or water because you will have to chug it or dump it if you don't have a lot of time between flights.

Fyi- Kristi, you walk from one end to another (depending on your gate) give yourself time with all the kiddos. ;)

Here we go

2014-11-06T15:00:00.001-05:00

November 6, 2014

I have to say that it is really hard to put into words how I'm feeling today... This morning things were crazy, I hugged, kissed and said goodbye to my four year old without tears. I honestly felt kinda numb, and I felt guilty for it. There was so much going on, packing, double checking and loading. So, we said our goodbyes and headed to the airport shortly after he left. At check in we met a man who was adopted himself and another man who has two adopted children from the U.S. It was God speaking to us through them and it was awesome. We went through security fine, grabbed some food and after a while boarded our first plane. I still hadn't cried or really thought about what was happening... It wasn't until we started to taxi, I lost it. It's like I had nothing else I needed to do and my body just let go. There were tears for Nolan and the thought of not being there for him if he needed me and tears for Maverick & Maddox and how we are actually going to meet them soon. So many emotions all at once. I could do nothing but be held by Joe and cry. Thanking God for him and for allowing us to go on this journey. We are finally going to meet our twins!

We are blessed.

Thank you all for the prayers! We can surely feel them!

Now we relax in Detroit and wait for our next long flight to Amsterdam.

Answered Prayers

2014-10-27T09:25:00.001-04:00

I really want to share with you how God has moved throughout our whole adoption process. This process has taken about 3 years. 1 year listening to God and waiting to see where He would take us and 2 of which we have spent filling out piles of paperwork, getting fingerprinted umpteen times, medical exams, home studies, updates etc. All to lead us to now. Throughout the paperwork process there were times where I wasn't sure how we would make the deadlines and where the money would come from. God always supplied it and one time He truly put money in our bank, the numbers did not add up and I know He put it there. He worked a miracle for us.
He would move and comfort me through each step. Just when I would feel I couldn't wait any longer and my hope was running out, He would give me a slight glimpse of His plan and remind me to trust Him. It turns out, He knew what He was doing. ;)
God did this again with our court date. As you may have read we got a court date earlier this month, but let me back up a bit and tell you how God answered my prayers. In late September/early October we were asked if we were ok with a Possible December court date (they were hoping to get us in) but that would mean we would be gone over Christmas (separated from Nolan) and because of the holidays, the process may take longer (8 weeks instead of 6 or 7). We, of course, said yes. We want to get over to them as soon as possible. They are very small, and have been in and out of the hospital and need cared for and loved on by their mommy & daddy. (Not that the home isn't doing all it can for them, they have been great!) So we planned for what we thought might be a December court date. During that time I continued to pray that God would move and take me over to my boys sooner, even that he would allow me to be there for their birthday (Nov 5th). It was a long shot, and not even a possibility in the eyes of our agency, but on October 12th, we got the call that we would be there just days after the twins birthday. We needed to be in country in less than a month- Nov 7th actually. Our court dates is set for Nov 12th, and we are asked to be in Uganda a few days prior for some culture training and to bond with the boys before court. November 7th we land in Uganda, just 2 days after their birthday! God answered my prayer! One that I thought was impossible.

To share a prayer with you; I have a devotional I am reading called "Live A Praying Life In Adversity" by Jennifer Kennedy Dean
As I was reading today I looked back, remembering I had written prayers in the pages and dated them. We knew we were waiting on all our paperwork to be reviewed and for a date to be set.
On 10.6.14 I wrote a small prayer "Dear God, I pray you be with the lawyers, judges & social workers in Uganda. Help them get things moving 'this week' so we can go get our boys." That was on monday and Sunday evening (the 12th) everything was set and we had our date. ANSWERED PRAYER!
So now I pray, and ask that God get us there safely, that He moves again and pushes paperwork through faster than we could imagine and bring us all home to be a family of 5.
I would love for you to pray with me.

We are so excited to finally meet our boys. We leave in 10 days. We will arrive late Nov 7th, sleep, and in the morning get up and go meet our twin boys- Maverick & Maddox. God is good, all the time! (even when we can't see it and understand it)

We got our court date

2014-10-13T17:31:00.000-04:00

I am so extremely excited to scream that WE GOT OUR COURT DATE!! We will be in Uganda on Nov 7th, and we have our court date on Nov 12th. We will get to meet and hold Maverick & Maddox in less than a month. God is so good! I have been praying specifically that God would take us over there for the boys birthdays and we will be there just days after. What a journey it has been and what a journey we are about to embark on.

I am so thankfully to all of you for your support, prayers and encouraging words.

We are currently having a t-shirt fundraiser.
If you would like to help, and want to buy a t-shirt all proceeds go towards our adoption. (Email me at butleradoption(at)gmail(dot)com)
If you feel led to give a donation instead you can click this link HERE

We appreciate your prayers! God is moving and He is doing great things!
To follow our process in country, I will be posting updates as best I can here on my blog.

Here is a look at the shirts.

You can give hope. No matter your walk in life.
Whether you are black or white, young or old, male or female...
Give Hope
Hope changes Everything

Thank you all for your prayers and support! We can't wait to meet our boys and bring them home.

Struggling

2014-09-25T20:19:00.001-04:00

I have been struggling so much lately. Struggling to find peace. Knowing half my family is on the other side of the world. Knowing that the process of bringing them home isn't going to be an easy one. Knowing that leaving to go get them means leaving my first born behind and knowing that will be even harder than I can imagine. So, as I said, I'm struggling. I try and cling to Gods peace and know that He is in control and I do know that He is, but it doesn't make this waiting much easier. I am a mother, and my sons are not with me. How do you find comfort in that? It is so hard but I'm trying....

Our Little Secret is Out

2014-09-12T14:48:00.001-04:00

We are so happy that we got to share with family and friends 2 weekends ago that

WE GOT OUR REFERRAL!!

We finally got our paperwork and are so excited to announce that we are adopting twin boys from Uganda. They are just under a year old and we are now praying hard that we can go get them soon before courts close again around Christmas. This whole process has been long and extremely hard. When you start the adoption process you are told these things but until you are faced with them yourself its hard to imagine. Just like I can't imagine how it will be to actually go get them and stay there for 6+ weeks. I have been talking to and reading blogs about families who have and are currently in the process of adopting. That has been a huge blessing.

So, where we are now- Now we wait some more. We are waiting to heard from a judge when our court date is so we can go over and get our boys. This waiting process is by hard been the hardest. We now know who our boys are and to not be able to do much for them is extremely difficult. As a mom you want to tend to and care for your childs needs and make sure they are cared for. We are an ocean away and I can't hold them, or rock them or make sure they have what they need. Its killing me. So I pray, I pray God watches over them until we can get there. I pray they get the food they need (we are paying for formula for them now) and I pray they get their health back up.

We are coming boys- and mommy & daddy can't wait to love on you.

My first born son, how I love you! Happy Birthday!

2014-08-18T10:46:00.002-04:00

Oh this boy of mine.

I am so smittened by him.

He is so kind, caring, gentle and hyper all in the same breath. He gives the best monster hugs and fish kisses. He always wants mommy when he is upset or hurt or had had a bad dream. He loves saying hi to strangers and making friends and he love, I mean LOVES, to be outside. Loves to learn and travel. At 3 he knew all his states, their names, shapes and where they belong. He adores his cousins, "Vayda Bray" & "Ryppy". He loves helping Papaw in the yard and climbing trees. He always wants to help Mimi water flowers. He begs for Paps to take him on the "roundy roundy swing" or golf cart, and he simply dreams of going to "Grammys pool". He prays daily for Grandpa Harry and loves being with family. He loves to sing and our favorite song right now is "Fix My Eyes" by For King & Country

To hear him sing just melts my heart.

I am so blessed to have him in my life and call him my son.

I pray he grows up to be a godly man, following the path God has planned for him. I pray he stands strong in the truth and sticks up for others. I pray he is always kind, caring and one day a strong and loving husband.

Happy Birthday Beebop!

I love you Nolan

Our song

Fix My Eyes

Hit rewind
Click delete
Stand face to face with the younger me
All of the mistakes
All of the heartbreak
Here's what I'd do differently

I'd love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on you

I learned the lines and talked the talk
(everybody knows that, everybody knows that)
But the road less traveled is hard to walk
(everybody knows that, everybody knows)
It takes a soldier
Who knows his orders
To walk the walk I'm supposed to walk

And love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on you

The things of Earth are dimming
In the light of Your glory and grace
I'll set my sights upon Heaven
I'm fixing my eyes on you
I'm fixing my eyes on you
I'm fixing my eyes

Love like I'm not scared
Give when it's not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on you
I fix my eyes on you
I fix my eyes on you

How to know what NOT to say to adoptive parents

2014-08-12T14:23:00.001-04:00

This is just perfect! Ha

If you wouldn't say it about a boob job....