Natural-Nurturer

Almost 2

2012-03-25T22:59:00.002-07:00

I can't believe my baby boy is almost two years old. I can't believe he is a TODDLER! I have been thinking about the day he was born so much lately...sometimes I wish I could go back to that day. The only thing I would have done differently would be to have my mom, sister, and brother there with me. But that day, during the most life changing moment of my life-- I had my other family surrounding me. I was so blessed to have all of my best friends around.... I miss those guys!

As I continue to think about that day... I will continue to smile about how amazing my child is.

Other BIIIIG News!

2012-01-21T20:20:00.000-08:00

Thank you to everyone who participated in the giveaway. We had 31 people participate and because of the multiple entries that were allowed, there were 112 entries. I took a picture of the answer on Random.org but it won't upload. So, I hope you trust me on it. Before we reveal the winner I would like to share some news.

In the coming week Natural-Nurturer and Natural-Nester will be merging to create one blog. It is a very exciting time. We will be able to work together to bring you all of the awesome ideas that we have. We will be merging to Natural-Nester's blog. We have many of the same followers, but those of you that don't follow her blog, please go on over and join it so you can keep up with us. We will be changing the name to Natural NesterS! It fits us both so much.

We are not only sisters but we are best friends and we are so excited about this step in our blogging life! We hope that you will continue to support us. Joining together like this will allow us to offer many more giveaways for you!

But what you have all be waiting for.... The winner of the Lequip Professional Stick Blender with all of the attachments, from Nutrition Lifestyles.... is Number 39!

Kim DeMoss

Thank you Nutrition Lifestyles for partnering with us for this amazing giveaway. We hope to do this again in the future!!

Ms. Pig got a makeover!

2012-01-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

Nine years ago I was in my balancing college life, working full-time, and planning for my wedding. Nate was in Hawaii with friends working... and doing ZERO wedding planning, haha! Between work and class I didn't have much extra time. So, all of the time that I did have I usually spent in my dorm room, online, finding nice- CHEAP- ideas! I can't believe it is almost 9 years ago that I married this boy.

Our family pig joined us almost 9 years ago too. She has been wonderful. She is world traveled and used by many. She has lived in Texas, Mississippi, JAPAN, and now California. She is still as healthy as ever. But the husband decided it was definitely time for a makeover. Her hair had started to fade, so like any awesome woman-- she needed to go in to have her hair fixed.

So.She.Did.

First the husband use a special tool (my word for I don't know which one) to take off the existing paint. No worries, TawTaw (the awesome ARTIST of The Pig)... she didn't look as bad as the above picture portrays.

Then the man got right to work! First was dying her hair black, I mean- that is what is in style these days with a lot of girls- right? Or at least it was in style in my neck o' the woods last time I visited.

Next he gave her some white highlights. Don't you know that the gals that dye their hair black usually add some additional color? Well Ms. Pig wanted the same special care!

Next she had her favorite procedure done: Getting her eye make-up put on to last FOREVER! Who wouldn't like this!!! Amazing- never have to do your make-up again! Sign me up, please! :)

Daddy took really good care of Ms. Pig.

She came out beautiful and ready to go! She is excited for the next 9 years with us!

This pig has brought joy to many... :) We can only thank our very own TawTaw (my step-dad) for this wonderful creation. If you asked me what we got for our wedding... there are only three things that I could tell you that I remember from the top of my head.. and Ms. Pig of course would be #1.

*If you have black hair with highlights, I wasn't saying bad things about you... just trying to make the post fun*

Making Playdough!!!

2012-01-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

Every kid loves playdough! We decided to make our own in daycare! What is better than playdough?

EATABLE, GOOD SMELLING, RED playdough! :)

Ingredients:

Cream of Tarter

Pack of Cool Aid

Flour

Oil

Salt

Water

Mix together all dry ingredients!

Mix the water and oil too!

Put on the stove and slowly pour the water/oil mixture in.

Heat and stir until it is all mixed together. This took about 2-3 minutes.

Then it says to put on a surface and knead it for a few minutes.

I, however, used my Bosch Mixer that I bought from Nutrition Lifestyles to knead it for me!

See how easy it was! Now all I have to do is let it cool until the kids can play with it. Took like 2 minutes!

Rooster Head's handprint!

He loved it!

I love him! He had so much fun.

He wanted to build a snowman!

Rolling it out with his own personal rolling pin!

Feeding Mr. Piggy the playdough!

We had so much fun. The kids loooooved it. They played for at least 30 minutes. The best part is that if you keep it in a sealed container, it stays good for up to six months! That is AWESOME! AND if the baby decides to eat it... like babies do... all he gets is some VERY, VERY salty flour!

Yes, I tasted it!

Have fun making playdough with your kids!

-C

Hey you, YES YOU, Don't forget about our GIVEAWAY! You have until Friday night to enter!! Come on, it is FREEEEE!

I am a food addict.

2012-01-17T13:47:00.000-08:00

*This was written last night, Jan. 16, but I have debated about actually posting it*

Hi, my name is Cassey and I am a ~~recovering~~ food addict. Seriously.

I have struggled my whole life with being the overweight gal. I have tried every fad diet out there and I have lost a little weight here and there, but mostly, I put it right back on. I think I am just use to being the fat girl that I put on a happy smile to mask the pain I am in being the big girl. Is there anyone out there that understands that? I am sure there are many of you that can totally understand!!!

I was successful once.

2007. I had graduated college and had my first teaching job... and I did not want to be the fat teacher. I wanted to look good. Heck, I was only 24 years old. On June 18th of that year, I made a lifestyle change. I started my journey at 228 pounds. When I started school in August, I felt AWESOME! I had been working out and eating right. I continued to lose weight and focus on me and it was great. My husband was finally getting the beautiful wife that his hunky self deserved. I was happy. In October of that year, an acquaintance (who became one of my best friends) asked me to run a half marathon with her the following March. I had recently began running and she thought I would be the perfect running partner. For the next six months we ran and trained for our half marathon. I found a NEW ME, a girl that I LOVED!

2008. Brought many changes. We had just gotten news that we would be moving to Japan for three years. I hit my lowest weight to date of 148. I felt awesome. I ran a half marathon in 2 hours and 21 minutes and DID NOT STOP ONE TIME. I was on it. I could do this. WAIT! I did this! I was in love with me. I was in love with who I had become. I was happy. As we moved to Japan my focus on what I put into my body was not near as important to me as I began enjoying all of the Japanese food. However, I never got above 165 and I still felt great. But I let go of my goals when it came to my body. I didn't think I would ever see high numbers on thats scale Again. I was wearing a size 8, a size that was so very foreign to me! I felt AWESOME!

2009. I found out I was pregnant. God had blessed us. I firmly believe that I got pregnant because I had lost the weight and was active. I had previously been diagnosed with PCOS and was told it would be very difficult for me to have children. Getting pregnant was a big surprise. July of that year we had gone to Tokyo to climb Mt. Fuji. We did it! We were the second couple up and back down Mt. Fuji with our group. We were loving the active lifestyle together. Two days later I found out I was five weeks pregnant. How awesome! Life couldn't get better. :) Oh, but it could get worse. December of that year I found out that my brother was killed in a car wreck and we were rushed home to be with family. Rushed from Japan still took two days. A part of me died with Shane that day. I will never be the same person. I am so thankful though that my brothers last memories of me are not the fat Cassey. A couple of months before that terrible day he was talking to me on the phone telling me that he and my mom were looking at old pictures... and that they just never realized how big I really was all those years. I was Cassey... the people that loved me FOR ME, never saw the fat.. until it was not there anymore. I am sad to say, I am looking very similar to that girl from years ago again today.

2010. I enjoyed being pregnant in Japan. I missed my brother like crazy. I continued to eat and eat. I was one of those gals that said when I get pregnant I will not eat like I am eating for two... I will eat healthy, workout. Yea, right! The only thing that I worked was my jaw... eating all of those Popeye's mashed potatoes. I am also one of those girls that covers up my pain, sadness, anger, etc. with food. Why I have allowed food to suppress my feelings for so long is beyond me. March of that year I had went in for induction at 40 weeks and 5 days. I was prepared for a natural birth. I wanted to do it all the right way. I had researched it all.. I was READY! :) However, Noah would not progress. I ended up having a C-Section (not my plans:)). Going in to have Noah, I weighed in at 256lbs. WHOA! I was so swollen. I know everyone says that.. but seriously. :) Within two weeks I had gotten down to 185lbs... It was truly awesome becoming a Mommy.

Today. I sit here quite a bit heavier than what I was before I had Noah. I have not been able to find my mojo to get this weight off. I continue to allow food comfort me when I am sad, angry, lonely. I have finally joined a gym and I really, really LOVE going. I have not lost any weight, though. No matter how much I workout, I haven't lost weight. Clearly the answer is the food I have been eating. I just can't seem to kick that bowl of cereal, that slice of fresh made bread, that pasta dish, etc. For the past two years I have been toying with a COMPLETE lifestyle change with how we eat. I have been researching it and I love everything I read and know about changing my life. It is just taking that step to do it. I want my family to be a healthy family. I know the right steps... but again, it is a matter of doing it!

A few weeks ago I started reading into the Paleo Lifestyle. Have you heard of it? Tonight I joined the Paleo Challenge at my gym for 30 days. I am not sure if putting this out there for everyone to read is the right thing or not. I worry about being judged or failure. But as my husband said: "So, don't fail!" So if you are judging me... please keep it to yourself. I need support... and I know there are so many people that have struggled that can support me right now. I need all of the support that I can get. I also know there are many people just like me.. you are at your whits end, you are sick of how you feel and look, you need the motivation to put one foot in front of another. If I can motivate anyone to take that first step ... it will all be worth it.

So here I am. Today we took measurements and before pictures. My hope is that eventually I will feel comfortable enough to put those pictures up here for you to see... when you can see where I ended up.

So if you are reading this, will you promise to support me, follow me, and encourage me on my 30 day challenge, that is going to turn into my forever? I am going to have hard days... but I WANT and NEED to succeed. Something changed in me when I became a Mommy. I want and need to be here for my son. I want to grow old with my husband. I want to live an active life with my family. I want to have more children. This is the only way it is going to happen- changing my life. I don't want my child(ren) to grow up struggling with weight the way I have. I want them to have a healthy relationship with food and be able to enjoy it... but not think they have to depend on it during the hard times in their life!

Here is to Day 1 of changing my life FOREVER!

*Day 1 went great. I ate 100% on track and had a great workout. I have not been tired or hungry all day*

-Thanks for your support!

Who wants Pancakes???

2012-01-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

Our little Rooster head does! Oh yes, that is his nickname that his daddy gave him! :) About 5 out of 7 days a week my little boy is asking for Pancakes.. And now he has added BACON to that request as well. Sweet boy! :)

So here is a morning of making our pancakes. Many times we use our Bosch blender from nutrition lifestyles to make our pancakes from our whole wheat. But in the mason jar below, we still had some fresh wheat that we had ground up the day before that we needed to use.

I was out of egg- so we used flaxseed mixed with water. YUM!

My little helper. He loves to help with anything and everything-- and he is GREAT at it!

But what he really loves to do is EAT THE PANCAKES! Eat he will. He will eat 5-7 pancakes at a given time. This is wonderful. He was breastfed until 20 months old, so food didn't interest him like normal kids.

So my question for you is.. what is your favorite food to cook with your child? Leave me a comment and let me know! I need some new ideas!

Also, don't forget about the GIVEAWAY. It ends on Friday!

Kids and Veggies

2012-01-14T21:12:00.000-08:00

Until recently, I have struggled with getting my little guy to eat his veggies. He was breastfed until twenty months old, so real food really did not interest him. Lately though, he has been eating pretty much anything you put in front of him AND asks for more! :) What a blessing for this mommy.

But the question always arose- how do I make sure this little guys is getting the nutrients that he needs? Well, I use my juicer. He doesn't get juice often. I never buy it. I don't think he needs all of that extra sugar in his little body... heck, he is already hyper enough! :) I love it. But we love to juice together. And we did this week.

(I would post more pictures of us juicing together, but some of my daycare kids are in it... and I don't want to put their pictures on my blog.)

We gathered apples, carrots, and celery for our juice this day. We cleaned the fruit and veggies. Then we cut off the edges. Ok, I cut the edges off. The kids had a lot of fun knowing we were going to make our own juice.

This is what the juicer looked like after we finished juicing. All of the veggies and fruit you see above has now been juiced and that is what was produced, in the cup container. Just enough for three kids cups and two adult cups. YUM!

My little rugrat drinking his juice. Seriously, if you are one of those that said you would get a juicer from nutrition lifestyles, I highly recommend it. It is so great for you, PLUS it is so very fun to juice with your kids. Also, you know exactly what you are giving your child vs all of the store bought juices. Seriously, those can't be THAT great for our little kiddies.

This was my cup. Hubby had his own as well. It was gone within seconds. We don't add anything else to it, we drink it straight from being juiced. YUM!

This is the remaining compost. This is my least favorite part about the juicer. I don't really like to clean it, but if you do right away... it literally takes 2-3 minutes to get all of the parts clean. We love our juicer and we try all kinds of different juices... you should try too!

Don't forget about our GIVEAWAY! We don't have that many entries. Make sure you enter AND tell a friend!

-C

GIVEAWAY & Guest Post!

2012-01-11T10:03:00.000-08:00

First off I just want to say "Hello," to everyone over here at Natural-Nurturer and also say thank you for letting me come hang out with yall today!

I am really excited to share about these wonderful muffins that I baked last night! Since I got my new red, shiny Kitchen Aid Mixer for Christmas I have had a ton of fun baking. I have kind of been on a muffin kick though...which I don't mind since I love breakfast. So I have been baking my muffins at night time, and then having them ready for the next morning...that might not be as nice as right out of the oven muffins, but they have been pretty dang good!

So this morning we got to eat these wonderful French Toast Muffins! They were so yummy, and very fun to make. Also, they didn't take long at all, I always love baking things that don't need to be fully mixed, but call for you to leave some lumps in them. It makes things a lot easier. This may come from the fact that I have never owned any kind of electric mixer at all. I have always hand mixed everything that I bake, and that gets very tiring, so you can see why I prefer these types of things.

Anyways, I have brought the wonderful French Toast Muffin recipe over here to share with all of you guys! So take some time to make these wonderful muffins, you don't even have to eat them for breakfast, have them at a party, or for dessert, anything...they are great!

French Toast Muffins

First you will need:

Muffin Mix:

1/2 c. sugar

1 1/2 c. all purpose flower

1 1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. nutmeg

1/3 c. melted butter

1 egg

1/2 c. milk

Topping:

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. melted butter

1 tsp. cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Preparation time: 10-15 min.

Bake time: 20-25 min.

Recipe Servings: 9-12 muffins

First you want to sift together all of the dry ingredients into a medium sized bowl. (I first put mine into my mixer but then realized it wouldn't have taken very long just to do this one by hand)

Then add all of the wet ingredients to the same bowl

Combine and mix all of the ingredients, but do not over mix. Leave the mixture a little lumpy

In a muffin pan put muffin liners or grease 9-12 muffin tins (I made 9 muffins, you could probably make a dozen if you wanted, they would just be a little smaller)

Bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until the edges begin to turn a little brown (mine baked for the full 25 minutes)

Muffin Topping

For the topping,

In one small bowl, mix together the sugar and cinnamon

In another small bowl, melt butter

While the muffins are still hot dip each individual one in the butter and then roll them in the cinnamon/sugar mixture to coat the top

*If you are able to, you can dip the entire muffin in the butter and cinnamon mixture, it makes them even better!

**You may have some of the mixture left over, if you do use it to dip the muffins in while you eat it!

Then enjoy your wonderful creation!

I hope you all enjoy this wonderful recipe as much as my family and I have! And if you do try it out stop by over at Natural-Nester and let me know what you think!

Thanks so much for letting me come visit!

NOW....for the GIVEAWAY we have been telling yall about!

I am so excited to share with you this awesome kitchen tool that you can win FOR FREE! You do have to go through a few hoops to get entered… but it is a great tool to have in your kitchen. I use my regularly. Also, I am so excited that Nutrition Lifestyles has partnered with us to offer this amazing giveaway to you.

Our first ever giveaway is a Lequip Professional Stick Blender with all of the attachments.

This tool is so amazing. I have used it to mince veggies such as onions, cilantro, and even tomotoes. We really enjoy using it to help make our salsa. I have also used it when making baby food. The uses for this tool are unlimited. The website describes this tool as:

“An ideal blender for daily use. Slim ergonomic design with soft-touch easy-grip handle. Stainless steel body. Removable, interchangeable blades for mincing, beating, chopping, aerating, and whisking. It also includes a multi- chopper/grinder attachment.”

Please go to the website and read all about this awesome little tool! I think every kitchen needs one. YOU could be the lucky one to get it for FREE!

You have so many ways to enter! (leave a separate comment for each entry that you make, so you could have up to 6 entries/6 different comments)

1) LIKE Natural-Nurturer on Facebook

2) JOIN the Natural-Nurturer Blog

3) LIKE Natural-Nester on Facebook (and let her know that I sent you)

4) JOIN the Natural-Nester Blog

5) Share this contest with your friends on Facebook or twitter

6) Go over to the Nutrition Lifestyles website and look at their products then come back over here and let us know what your favorite item is!

Make sure that you comment on the blog that you have liked both facebook pages, subscribed to both blogs, shared the giveaway on facebook or twitter, and went to nutritionlifestyles.com and commented what you would buy and why!

Giveaway ends Friday, Jan. 20th at 10pm, CENTRAL TIME..

GET READY: Tomorrow is the Giveaway!!

2012-01-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

Hey Ya'll!

Get ready, because tomorrow I am doing a great giveaway! YOU have helped me reach over 100 likes, therefore, I am doing an awesome giveaway FOR YOU! You will have many chances to get your name in the drawing... all of those amazing details come out tomorrow! Yay!! The giveaway is something that I use very often and for many different things. I can't wait to share with you!

I will be partnering up with Natural-Nester to do this awesome FREE Giveaway to our followers! So be sure to check back tomorrow for all the details on how to enter!

Go ahead and check out our facebook pages! And share the page with your friends and get them to LIKE us to!

Here's the link to Natural-Nurturer on facebook, and here's the one to Natural-Nester, so go check those out!

A Little HINT!

Tomorrow we will both be featuring each other's cooking blog with the recipe included, so we will be giving away some awesome kitchen supplies from Nutrition Lifestyles, so go ahead and take some time to go check out their awesome supplies there! And come back tomorrow to find what item you could win!

Toddler and Choices...

2012-01-09T22:34:00.001-08:00

Do you give your toddler choices? What they want to play, eat, do? I have been reading one of the best blogs ever for the past few months, Play At Home Mom, and they have some fantastic ideas!

One of the blogs that really caught my eye was setting up an area where your child can choose their snacks. So, I have taken the time to set it up. It has been working very well in my home. My son goes to the door and wants me to help him open it, and he chooses what he wants.

The first things that he does when he wakes up is get a snack, usually a baggie of cereal, and then watch one episode of cartoons as we wait for our daycare friends to arrive.

This is his shelf in the pantry.

Applesauce and Crackers

Cereal and Crackers

Fruit bowls, dried fruit, raisins

Squeezy fruit, fruit bowls

It has been working so well. I know he is going to be so excited when he wakes up tomorrow to a new stock of snacks for him to choose from. I love watching his little eyes go from one to another to make his choice. It is so nice to have him pick what he wants.... less work for me! :)

He already had his own drawers with his cups, plates, bowls. But tonight I spent some time to organize them. I will be checking them and making sure they stay organized. I know he will appreciate the organization more as well.

When he helps me unload the dishwasher, he is really good at putting his things in his drawer, hence the reason it looks like the one below.

Organized...

My pantry... It needs some work. THAT, is my next project. I have some ideas on how I want to organized it.. I will share when it is completed.

Way too excited about finding the bulk section in a local grocery store. All of that pasta cost me LESS than $5.00. Amazing.

This is my sons area in the fridge. He has gogurts, cheesesticks, blackberries, and strawberries.

He is going to LOOOOVE it! I hope this helps someone. Remember to check out that website!

-C

Candy and Color Fun

2012-01-08T18:53:00.000-08:00

The teacher in me wants to make sure that my sweet boy has a good, founded education before he starts school- either public or home schooled! As we started working on potty training at 18months old, I had these small baking Reeses pieces... and decided to have some color identification fun with it!

First I took a piece of paper and drew two lines in it, giving it three columns.

Then I put the colors on top and we talked about what color they were and we matched up each candy with the correct color.

Can you tell that he loved it. He had so much fun. Oddly enough, my smart little boy- Got.It. You will be surprised what your young one actually comprehends if you model it for them.

A different day, we did it again. This time I used note cards.... same concept. He loved it.

When you can't figure out what to do with your munchkin, look in your baking cabinet and see what educational fun can be had!

-C

The Rocking Chair

2012-01-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

As I sat with my tired little boy today and began to rock him, my mind began to wander... and for the remainder of today I have just thought and thought and thought about this theme... the Rocking Chair. Just bare with me.

I have loved rocking my sweet one since the day he was born. Actually, I spent many hours rocking him, in his nursery, while I was pregnant. After my brother died, I would spend a lot of time in that room remembering, wishing, crying- alone. I love rocking my baby, in the womb and out. Today I started thinking that I don't rock him enough. I began to dread when he is too old to want me to rock him... or too big to sit in the rocking chair with me. I am so thankful for these sweet times in the rocking chair. He is so busy now that he really only lets me when he is tired, upset, or sleeping. But I love it nonetheless.

Then my mind went to my mom and how she doesn't have that luxury of having her son around anymore to rock even if she wanted, he wanted, or he was small enough. My heart hurt for my mom and made me hold my baby boy even tighter. The pain my sweet mom must have felt when she heard the news that her son, her baby boy, was taken from this world. My mom is truly the strongest woman I know and I hate she had to go through this.. continues to go through this. I hate that all my mom has left are memories of rocking her baby. I know she has such great memories though. My mom, along with all of the other moms that have lost their child way too early in life.... my heart hurts, but I pray they all have great memories of rocking their child.

What about those moms that never got to rock their baby? Those moms that prepared for the arrival of their bundle of joy only to have their baby taken from them as soon as they delivered. Or the mom that lost her life giving birth to that baby that would not be able to walk with their mom. Or the mom that never got the chance to truly embrace the joys of pregnancy or dream of rocking their baby. The mom that wasn't able to hold their baby as they grew and rock them to console them, to put them to sleep, just to love them. And my heart hurt.

What about the moms that have been able to bask in the greatness of pregnancy and a newborn? The moms that, like me, have enjoyed rocking their sweet one, day in and day out. But the same moms that get the terrible news as their baby is growing that their baby is not going to make it? The moms that have to rock their baby until they can't rock anymore because they don't know how much longer they really have. Again, my heart hurts. What about those moms?

What about the women that have tried for months or years to have that baby to rock? Those women that have put their whole being into trying to have that baby to rock- but can't? These women that can only dream of seeing those two lines on a test, seeing their first ultrasound, watching their belly grow, feeling that first kick, feeling the onset of labor, and birthing a baby? The women that can only DREAM of having that child of their own to rock in that special rocking chair. My heart hurts.

What about the women that have lost their sweet husband before they were able to have that baby together. The women that had already planned what their life was going to be like with their sweet man and then he doesn't come home from war, from work, from errands? The woman that will never be able to share in that with the man of her dreams because he was taken all too soon from him. What about them? It hurts my heart.

Then my mind began to think about those babies, kids, young adults that have never had the luxury of having a Mommy rock them. Never having a mom that cared enough to treat them the way I treat my baby. To have a mom love them the way I love my baby. To have a mom dote on them like I do mine. What about those babies that grow into adults and struggle on a daily basis because they didn't have a mom like I did, like I want to be? What about those kids?

Or the babies that have lost their Mom way too soon... at birth or after and have never been able to have their mom rock them, hold them, love them. What about them? What happens?

Then it hit me. It hit me today like a ton of bricks. It comes from the song I sang many times in my Youth Choir and Drama "Jesus has a Rocking Chair." How often I forget that. I forget to let Jesus Christ rock me during the good times and the bad times. The amazing feeling I get when rocking my sweet boy is only a grain of what the Lord feels when I ALLOW Him to rock me. Why don't I give up and let Him? WHY do I struggle with this so much? Am I the only one that struggles so bad with this?

In each example that I talked about above, I know someone personally that has been there. Did they, are they letting Jesus rock them? Why do I have such little faith? I know that the Lord wants to love me, admire me, dote on me, smile with me, laugh with me, cry with me, hold me, and rock me- just like I do my sweet one. Why is it so hard to let him.

My girlfriend has a sweet daughter that rocks herself to sleep. We laugh about it. But I began to think about this again this afternoon... maybe she is just feeling the arms of Christ around her and the comfortableness of Him... as she rocks herself to sleep. Oh ye' of little faith. Maybe I should begin rocking myself to sleep as I pray to the Lord. I am positive that He will help me understand that He is right there with me, with his arms around me, rocking me.

The rocking chair is so important to me. I don't think I will ever sit in our rocking chair again without thinking about all my thoughts today. Putting it on paper just does not give my thoughts justice. I have had so many thoughts with it. Jesus is here to rock me. When I feel like I can't go on, that my heart is broken, that I am tired of trying, that I don't know where to turn, HE is here rocking me. I need to feel it. Lean upon Him. Rest in Him. Let Him.

What about you?

"Jesus Has a Rocking Chair"

Many hopeful Moms and Dads try to have a child of their own,
some never get the chance, others do and see them grow

There are some who are expecting that precious baby soon

but then it's gone before it ever leaves the safety of it's momas' womb

JESUS has a rocking chair and HE holds that precious baby with oh such tender care
HE takes the place of Mom and Dad, HE's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there, JESUS has a rocking chair

There are those who have a boy or girl a lovely gift of GOD,
But sickness or a tragedy takes them from their parents arms,
Mommas wish for days gone by, daddys long for that lost child
But children are not lost when you know where they are

JESUS has a rocking chair and HE holds that precious baby with oh such tender care
HE takes the place of Mom and Dad, HE's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there, JESUS has a rocking chair

She was 18 and not married,expecting her little one
But in her time of confusion she took the life of her son
Since then, JESUS forgave her and HE took all of her shame away
Still she cries missing her baby but she hears the angels say

Kid's Fun Room

2012-01-06T23:53:00.000-08:00

When we moved into our new house we chose a house that has five rooms for a reason! I needed the extra room for my childcare! I knew I wanted a chalk board in the room. So, instead of buying it.. my sweet husband spent a whole day making it.

It looks great in the room and the kids love it! He used plywood, paneling, and chalkboard paint to create it. SOO super easy. He made it where we will just leave it here when we move instead of taking it with us. It was rather inexpensive AND it is huge!

Bread + 6 kids??

2012-01-06T14:03:00.001-08:00

WHO DOES THAT!?

I have been wanting to make some more homemade bread for a few weeks.. but life and all these munchkins have just held me back. I have wondered... how am I going to make all of this bread with 6+ kids at my house? I am suppose to be teaching them new things everyday, not making bread for my own pleasure! By the time the kids leave and we have had dinner... and Noah has gone to bed.. well quite frankly, I don't want to mess my kitchen up again!

Today it hit me!! I'll turn our baking bread experience into a lesson that we all do together! Dare I say.. it was fun? We had such a blast! The kids listened to me and actively participated as we went through each step. We felt each texture and I told them everything we were doing.. They had so much fun.

We began by grinding our whole wheat in our wheat grinder, courtesy of www.nutritionlifestyles.com. The kids LOVED this. The loud noise, plus being outside, being able to put the wheat in the grinder themselves, watching it grind, and seeing the end product was TOO MUCH fun! After we did that, I moved my Bosch, also courtesy of www.nutritionlifestyles.com, to the kids table and we used it to mix and knead our bread. Then we used oil and made our loaves.. then baked them!! YUMMY! If you want my recipe, just ask.. it is also courtesy of www.nutritionlifestyles.com. It is a great website with great kitchen tools. A lot of my kitchen is from there.... and yes, it is my mother and father in laws business! Check them out.

In the end we had 6 beautiful loaves of bread + four small loaves that the kids got to do for themselves! It was so fun. Oh and SOO yummy! Of course AFTER we make these six loaves of bread- I REMEMBER!! I still have some frozen waiting for me! :) At least we had fun.

Next time you feel too busy to do that project that you want to do... remember you can engage your child(ren) with you... because they can HELP! You will three birds at once..keeping the kids busy, TEACHING the kids, and getting your project completed!

Hooray for Fresh Bread and Happy Children!

Right where I belong!

2012-01-05T21:23:00.001-08:00

I am now starting to see the big picture of what my life is suppose to be.

Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy to be staying home. I spent four and a half years getting my undergrad to teach and spent another year getting my Masters. Let us not speak of the amount of money that I (ERRR) still owe for my education... to teach other children. I had some of the best five years of teaching and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I made a difference. I loved those kids. I learned so much with the teachers that I taught with. There were moments this year, especially in August and September, that I would pass a school or read things on FB from my teacher friends... and my heart would twinge... because it is still so hard to believe I am not teaching. But you know what I recently realized- my heart not longer aches for the classroom... I am building my own classroom, with my own child, in our own home! I love it. What more could one ask for than to be able to watch the child that the Lord has placed in their life... grow and learn.. daily!!! I am blessed.

Noah is so smart and amazes me. The other day he gave me directions to put the lid on a container, close the lid, put the container in the cabinet, and shut the door. All I could do was say "Yes, Sir" ... he is just so bright. I am so thankful that my husband is allowing me to be the 'teacher' our son needs. I have become someone I never thought I would be.

My heart is to homeschool. Shocking? Yes! But I desire to teach him any our future children. Why would I want to put them in school with other teachers so that I can go teach other peoples children? For ME, it doesn't make sense.. This is my desire. BUT I am not positive that this is what the Lord wants for our life... we shall see. We have plenty of time, I just wait.. and pray.

I have said many a time, to many a people that I wish Nate would just LET ME be a STAY AT HOME MOM. Not work at home. But you know what I realized last week when I had no kids? I don't want to be a SAHM. For Cassey- it would be dangerous. I can see myself becoming lazy, enthralled in Lifetime, forgetting who I am. Then i look at the boys the Lord has placed in my care thus far.. and I watch as they grow... and once again, I know that I am right where I need to be.

Plain and simple- the bigger picture... I was made to be a wife and mom... and I am so very thankful for that. I truly believe I was made to make our home, home... to take care of my husband as he should be taken care of, and to mother my child- from my home! God calls differnet people for different things and for this time being- I know I am right where I belong.

Daddy's 1st Christmas

2011-12-19T00:03:00.000-08:00

This is Daddy's first Christmas with Noah. Last year he left us for his deployment the day before Thanksgiving! I am excited to see Daddy and Noah together. Noah LOOOVES his daddy. I got Noah a couple of things.. but we had a couple of gift cards to shop with so I sent Daddy. Needless to say... his daddy brought him home two things that a 1 1/2 year old probably doesn't need... Wanna know??

A skateboard AND a drumset! Really, daddy? Haha.

How do you complain? Noah is going to LOOOVe every minute of both of those gifts. I am so excited to see him open gifts this year! Though he has already opened two 'toys' as he says... (which were actually daddy's)... I know he will get so excited. He loves Santa, hohoho... Snowmen, the LIIIIIGHTs, the trees, the songs. He loves it all. We love watching him and engaging with him as well.

Where I sit today is so very different from where I was one year ago. I still sit here, dreading this time of year because Shane isn't here... but things are even more different. Two years ago my world had fallen apart because I lost my brother. One year ago my world began falling apart again because I was losing my best friend. The curve balls that life brings you can suck sometimes.. and sometimes it is so hard to get past it, to move forward. Wanna know what i have learned? You are able to move forward.. but there are still going to be hard times! There are going to be days when the reality hits you that your brother is no longer on this earth anymore or that your best friend will never be that friend again... and those days suck all over again. But the amazing thing is... tomorrow is a new day! I am so thankful to have God on my side... and to know that one day I will hug my big brother again AND that he has that special friend already planned out for me again.

Many changes have come about in my life and it is so hard to think about sometimes. But I have learned to be grateful. To be grateful for my family. I am beyond grateful for these two boys that the Lord has blessed me with. Nate is a wonderful husband who is such a great support to me. He loves our son like you wouldn't believe.. and after almost nine years of marriage, I still love him more each day. I sit in awe of Noah. He is the prime example of perfection to me. I pray that Noah always loves his mommy and always has such a happy, fun attitude! I loooove this kid! I just don't want to ever imagine my life without him. I am also so grateful for my mom, sister, dad step dad, bro in law, and nieces and nephew! All of these people, MY FAMILY, are so special to me. I am so thankful that we work so hard to keep Shane's memory alive...

God is good.. He is so very good to me!

December

2011-12-15T10:29:00.001-08:00

December brings many 'x amount of days since' 'x amount of days until' type of scenarios. So, today, December 15th.. these are my scenarios:

Today is 12 days since my brother passes away (2 years ago).
Today is 8 days since my brothers funeral (2 years ago).
Today is 8 days since my moms birthday.
Today is 6 days since my step dads birthday.
Today is 10 days until Christmas.
Today is 4 days until baby baby sisters 2 year wedding anniversary.
Today is 6 days until one of my best friends birthdays.
Today is.. a day to be thankful.

There are so many memories, ideas, things that December brings to each family. I have been trying to figure out exactly what kinds of traditions I want to bring to our little family. Noah is just loving the lights and Santa (HoHoHo)... it is amazing watching him. I love every single minute of it!!

I can't wait to have Christmas with my boys again this year. This will be the first year it is JUST US.. it'll be nice, but bittersweet. First time in two years I am not home with family.. First time in three years I am not having it with my Misawa Family. But it will be good for my family and I.

The night before Christmas Eve we will bake cookies and leave them and milk out for Santa and his reindeer. Daddy has to work Christmas Eve, so we will do it the night before. Do I understand that Noah doesn't understand.. well.. YES!!! :) BUT! I want to start early. Also this night he will open a gift- with new PJs. I want him to do it then so Daddy can see. Then on Christmas morning when Daddy comes home we will enjoy gifts together.

This little boy is the light of our life. He makes everything, EVERYTHING so much better. I love to to try and see life through his innocent eyes. I am so blessed. I love hearing him talk to me and tell me stories. I love sleeping so close to him while he snores. I love him! EVERYTHING about him.

Every year only gets better with Noah. Looking at these pictures make me kinda sad.. because he was such a baby. But I love watching and helping him grow. His Daddy is amazing and I have no doubt that Noah will be like his Daddy in so many ways. I am so proud of my boy.

December 3rd... I hate you!

2011-12-02T23:44:00.000-08:00

Here we are.

Is it true that we have really gone two full years without my brother now? I remember that day sooo well.. and I hate it. I remember I was six months pregnant and man, I could not wait to go home. I remember we were having "Fun Friday" at school and we were letting our sixth graders roam from room to room deciding what they wanted to do. My room was for the games and such.. it was pretty loud. I remember that a younger student had a birthday and she brought me a cupcake. I was sitting by my door on a stool because the school day was almost over.. Something didn't feel right to me. I am not making that up. I remember how after I got the news and was just thinking how I would think back to my day and how odd it was that it was just an 'ugh' afternoon. The sweet little girl brought me the cupcake and I didn't want it, but I took it from her. I ended up giving it to one of my sixth graders right before the bell rang for the day. I had never been so glad for the day to end. I left about 20 minutes before I was 'suppose' to that day. I walked through my front door five minutes after 3pm. I remember laying my stuff down and looking at Nate. I felt exhausted... emotional... just unhappy. I remember telling Nate that I had had a bad day! But I couldn't explain why. Shortly after is when I got the phone call.

http://shaw-family-adventures.blogspot.com/2009/12/saddest-news-of-my-life.html

I didn’t sleep much that night. We had our Fire Department Christmas Party that my friend and myself had worked so very hard to put together. I didn’t go. Who would? We spent a long time in the shirts office. I have such a deep appreciation and respect for what our first shirts do now… because I saw a big part of what they do for dependants that night. I had been able to get American Airlines to switch our tickets, no problems-no fees, by one week to get us on the first plane out on Saturday morning. Red Cross is there to get family home, FOR FREE, at times such as this. I told the shirt that he didn’t have to go that route, that we had handled it… but he wanted to get us home that route because he explained that is what they are there for. So by midnight we had our tickets printed out, ready to fly out the next morning, Thank You Red Cross. Military- you know how when you go overseas or maybe even stateside, I am not sure… but they give you the spill about Red Cross and give you the card with the number. Just.In.Case. Yea, I have heard many of those talks…. Never thought I would be the one utilizing them. ESPECIALLY for a sibling. Nevertheless, I am very thankful for them.

The rest of the trip is such a blur to me. I remember crying most of the time. We had to sit at Narita Airport in Tokyo for like six hours. That WAS SO hard. I would go to the bathroom and do as I do even now- and shake my head saying NO! This wasn’t right. My husband was my rock. I don’t know what I would have done had I not had Nate. I am so thankful that he was not deployed at that time. Had he been, I can guarantee that Abbey would have been with me. No way would she have let me go alone. I remember my friends wanted to come over that day I found out. I begged Nate not to let them… and I am pretty positive that they did not.

I really just can’t believe we are sitting here at two years. It has really been TWO FREAKING YEARS since this nightmare began. So much has happened in two years…. And how I wish he was here. I will never understand why God allowed this to happen and didn’t just save him. I know there is a reason, but I will never, EVER understand it… Nor will I like it.

I truly appreciate those of you that have been of comfort to my mom, sister, and dad. It means so much to me. Unless you have walked in our shoes, you will never know the pain. The pain of losing a brother is so very different from losing a son. The pain of losing your best friend is so different from losing your son or brother. The pain of losing your son is so different from losing a brother. The pain of losing someone that is LIKE a brother, is still so very different. I am so thankful for those of you that have reached out to us… and tried to understand my mom, sister, and me. Those of you that have been there for each of us. We love you for it. This has been the hardest time of our lives… and I don’t see the pain ever subsiding. We feel like we live in a dream. The question is.. how did we get here.. And how I wish we could wake up from this dream.

My family- mom, Shane, and me are unique… we are close. So losing Shane has truly been like losing a part of our soul, our body, everything. No one can ever understand the bond between us. I am SO thankful for my family… and will do anything for them. My brother taught me that! His family was everything. He would have done anything for Britt, Mom, or Me. He would do anything for his children. I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW that my brother is looking down on us… proud of who we are… how we are keeping his memory alive for his babies.

So as we remember my brother today……. Please just say a quick prayer for my family. My mom, Dad, Sister, and Shane’s kids…

Really?

2011-11-27T23:39:00.001-08:00

Has it really been almost 2 years since I have heard your voice? I listened to the voicemails that I, THANKFULLY, have saved from this time two years ago, tonight... You still sound the same and I can still hear you.. without that voicemail. Hearing your voice makes me want to believe you are still here, that our family has not had to go through this... That you are still there when we call... that everything is normal. For the few seconds of your voicemail, my world seemed right again... and then it ended. Why?

I am thankful...

2011-11-12T23:18:00.000-08:00

Everyone on facebook is doing the 30 day of Thankfulness! I should have done it. I have so much to be thankful for in my life! I am a VERRRY grateful person for so many things in my life! Some of these things are:

1. My salvation- Because of Christ I am saved... and I will live in the perfect place one day... and be with Shane and Grandpa again.

2. My husband- He takes care of us... loves us.. supports us. He completes me. I am so thankful that the boy I met when I was 16 has been my husband for the past 9 years. I am SO thankful for him!!

3. Noah- My sweet little boy. I never knew that being a mommy would be the most amazing thing ever. I love watching him learn and I am so thankful that God gave him to me when he did. He completes us.

4. Moma- I have the best mom in the world. She has guided us, supported us, and just been there for us. She is so strong. She lost her son almost 2 years ago... but continues to walk this earth being an amazing mommy and gammy.

5. Britt- I have the best little sister ever. I admire this girl. She is truly an amazing person. She is married to a great man and they are serving the Lord... I look up to her.

6. Shane- I am so thankful for the time the Lord allowed me to have with my brother. It kills me that he is gone, not here raising his children, not here for me anymore... to be an uncle. BUT I am so very thankful that I had him for so long- he always took up for me!!

7. Dad- I am thankful to have had a dad growing up and the memories we hold together from when I was younger is something no one can ever take away. I am proud of who my dad is today.

8. Grandma and Grandpa- They helped raise me... they are the reason I am who I am today, spiritually. My gma has always been one of the closest people to me along with my mom, bro and sis... Love my gparents.

9. My family- I have extended family that I am thankful for. No one can take what memories I have of them either. Though things will never be the same again, I am forever thankful for who they were to me growing up.

10. My inlaws- I have great inlaws. Many people can't say they have the relationship with their mother-in-law that I do. We have a huge family on Nate's side.. and I am so thankful!

11. Addi, Ashtyn, Chloe- My brothers kids. I have loved being an aunt since I became one my freshman year in college. I never thought I would be able to love my own kids as much as I love my brothers :) Those kids have a long road ahead of them without their Daddy.. but with my family and God.. they will make it. LOVE these kids.

12. My education- I am SO thankful to be a teacher. Thankful that the Lord provided and I was able to get my Masters Degree before having a family. People thought when I got married at 19 that I would not finish school.. BOOOYAHH!

13. SAHM- I am SOOOOO thankful that I am able to be a stay at home mom. Though I have a masters degree.. I don't care. I don't care the money that I spent (and still pay) for my education... I am doing what I want to do- raise my son.

14. Teacher- I will always be a teacher. Even if I stay home forever, I will forever be a teacher. I love teaching... I have had great colleagues and students. I have learned a lot.. and loved a lot! Forever memories.

15. Dezi- I am thankful for our dog. She is so amazing. Dezi kept us entertained before Noah! :) She still keeps us entertained. Now I am thankful for what she is to Noah.. they are totally bffs.

16. Japan- I am forever thankful fo the USAF for sending me to Japan. What an experience. I have many a posts about Japan... I am so thankful that my son was born there and I will be able to share those awesome memories with him. I would go back in a heartbeat!

17. Girlfriends- I have had some of the best girlfriends in the world. I am so thankful for them! Some of these girls have known me (during the seasons we were together) better than I knew myself. They could read me when I was hiding things. Forever, I am grateful for who these girls were during the seasons they were meant to be in my life.

18. Military- WOW! I never thought I would be a military wife. I am sooo thankful for it. I have learned so much, grown so much, and enjoyed so much. I may have to spend months at a time alone.. but it makes me more grateful for this man of mine. The military has taken me to places I never thought I would go and helped me meet my forever friends.

19. Forgiveness- I am thankful that God forgives me.. and has taught me to forgive. I am also so very thankful for the forgiveness of others... when they give it to me when I don't deserve it.

20. My house- I love being a home owner. I love the fact that we got to pick out our own home... We love our home. I am so thankful that the Lord provides and has blessed us with this amazing home!

21. Church- Bayside Plumas Lake has become home to us.. and for that I am so thankful. I spent the first six months very involved in a church in Japan and then after that, I could not ever find my place... I am so thankful that the Lord guided us to Bayside... and we got plugged right in. We enjoy the sermons and Noah has a wonderful place to go. God is good!

22. Daycare- I pray(ed) that the Lord will bring the kids to my home that HE wants here.. kids that I can help make a difference with. I am so thankful for the kids that I have right now. I am learning to love them as my own.

23. Home- I am thankful that our parents live in the same town. Many of my friends have to travel to different states to visit home... I don't have that stress. Thank you, Lord. I am so thankful for our small town in Texas...

24. Memories- I am thankful that I have memories.. these are what keep me above water sometimes.. and these are what help me remember the special people in my life.

25. New friends- God is good to me. I am so forever thankful for the new friends He brings to me. I know He is faithful and the days I am lonely, I have to remember that I am sooo very thankful for these new ladies He has placed in my life.

26. Health- I am so thankful to have a healthy family. Thank you, Lord.

27. Finances- I am so thankful that the Lord provides and helps us to be "smart" with our finances. I am happy to live {almost} debt free!

28. I-Love-You- I am so thankful for those words. My parents raised us to say them all the time adn we still do. Noah is being raised to say them.. and I LOVE hearing those words.

29. Joy- I am so thankful that God has given me a life of joy. I try to always be a joyful person.. and extend that joy to my family.

30. Discernment- I am thankful that God is working with me and discernment. I am happy I don't have as much diarrhea of the mouth as I used to..

31. Continued Growth- I am thankful that the Lord continues to grow me... and I try to let him. Though I don't like growing older.. I am thankful that He helps me to become wiser as I grow older.. Thank you, Lord.

32. Greg- I am thankful for my "step dad" which he hates being known as. He has been my moms rock during her hardest times, helps support and raise my brothers kids, and has always loved me.

33. Forever friends- I have several forever friends. Some are friends from when I was a kid.. others are from the military. I am so thankful for all of these people., They all hold a special place in my heart.

34. My life- I am just thankful to be alive. I live a very blessed life! Thank you, God!

Among many other things.. these are just SOME of the things I am most thankful for!

UpDaTeS

2011-11-10T07:39:00.000-08:00

It is going on a month since I last posted.. eek! There were many times in the past few weeks that I wanted to write, but my computer has been messed up. I got it back in the mail yesterday and of course now, I don't know what I was going to write about! :) We have had three visitors since I last wrote. Cousin Bubba came and we spent a while with him. He and Nate were able to get out and about for three days.. taking Noah with on two of those days. We had a great time. Just a great man, easy to get along with, chat with, AND best of all- you don't have to entertain. HE had set up a California Family Get Together while he was here- that was fun.. We met family near us that we had never met before. Matter of fact, Nate's mom had not seem them since the late 60s. Mother in law came in as well. She brought one of the nephews with her. I was truly sad to see her go. It went so fast. We had a great time. She was easy to entertain as well. I have loads of pictures of Noah and his cousin on my facebook! All in all, the visits were amazing and all too fast.

The Sunday before mother in law left, Noah got sick.. we didn't take him in that day.. he was fine that night and the next day. Then it started when he woke up from his nap on Tuesday. I was more concerned because of how he was gasping for air..so we took him to Urgent Care. All tests came by negative, thank God. We went to see his DR yesterday and she seems to think it is some kind of stomach virus. Poor baby! This moma was a wreck.. thinking the worst possible things! This is the first real time he has been sick and I was scared out of my mind.. praying, praying, praying.

So now we wait. Wait for what? The week of Thanksgiving my sister and her husband are coming!! YAY! I am so excited. It is going to be sad not to have mom here with us.. but it is going to make us feel like real adults, cooking our own Thanksgiving meal together. I hope we live closer one day!

December 3 is quickly approaching and I am not ready for it. Strangely I have been invited to two different things on that day. How do you say no- I dont do anything on December 3? The Worst Date of My Life! I plan to hole up in my house, with my boy.. and if I want to cry- I am going to cry. If I want to look at pictures, I will. If I want to hear his voice, I will listen to those last voicemails he sent me... if I want to relive that terrible day 2 years ago, I will go and reread all of my blogs from then. I am going to do what I want to do... and think of my big brother the whole time.

So much of Noah makes me think of Shane. Might be odd, but it is true. Noah is my light when my heart hurts so bad... from losing Shane, losing friends, being lonely, anything random. Our lives change so much. I never thought I would have to live my life without my brother... I never thought I would have to find another best friend... I never thought I would be so happy being a mommy .. and I certainly never thought I would be so content and happy staying home!

I try to remember to thank the Lord for all of my blessing when I get down and out! I have so much to be thankful for- I am truly blessed.

Today...

2011-10-19T08:37:00.001-07:00

I miss my friends. I am having some girlfriends over from church and I am SOOO excited.. but I woke up this morning really missing my GREAT friends in Japan! I miss having someone to call and chat with over stupid stuff. I miss having someone just show up at my house.. just because. I miss that instant bond... I miss not having to try and make people feel comfortable or at home at my place.. but rather them go and do what they want as they please.. including getting food or drink. I miss....

But I guess it isn't right to dwell in what I miss.. but to pick up and keep going. Because I could tell you a million and twelve things that i miss. But I am also SOO very grateful for my life here! I love it here. I love our home. I love our church. I love our friends. I loooove being home each and everyday with my monkey.. even when he is fit throwing like today!!

I need to learn to count my blessings more regulary. Matter of fact, I think I am going to create a list of all the things I am blessed with.. so when I have down days like today.. I can read over them and smile.

God is so good and faithful to me and my family.

Is there a correlation between the two?

2011-10-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

I love owning our own home. Well technically the bank owns it.. but I love the feeling of this being my home. I wish we could uproot this home and take it with us when we eventually end up in Texas ... wishful thinking on both parts. Owning our dream home has helped me keep our home cleaner... perhaps it has something to do with my being home all day as well. In the past two weeks I have felt like the house is dirty no matter what. I love the feeling of a clean house and I tend to do pretty well although I have kids in my house all day!

So.. my mind is thinking today. I haven't felt order in my house for about a week. My kitchen needed a deep cleaning that I was lacking motivation to do! EEEk! :) I did it today. I feel great. The boys went down for a super long nap, still down... and I got my kitchen in order. From the counter tops to the microwave, stove, and fridge. All I have left to do is mop and clean my cabinets! I feel in order! All bills are paid... I have (most) bills set up on auto pay. This may not seem like a big deal to most.. but going with no bills for the past three years to the bills we have with owning a home- I keep forgetting some bill.. and I certainly do not like paying a bill late. My home and financial area is finally in order. I took the time to do it.

My spiritual life. Do you feel like when your not in order with things in your life that your spiritual well being is not in order! MAN, I DO! But as easy as I can keep the clutter from my home I need to learn to do that in my spiritual life as well.There are so many things that clutter my spiritual life.. but the Lord has shown me lately how to work on this.. and I am!

So my question is.. is there a correlation between having disarray in your your home and spiritual life and having order in both? Do you find yourself crazy spiritually when your personal life is crazy!? I do!

I am learning to take it slowly .. all of it. Enjoy the wonders of my life and the wonders of my Creator.

Ah, life! I love my life.

How does one get mad?

2011-10-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

This is what I found first thing this morning as I came from the bathroom! Only after I had it cleaned up I realized i did not get on to him for it! :) Instead I said 'oh my goodness' when I saw it. Then of course I got the camera and then he helped me clean up.

These small messes remind me how thankful I am to be a mommy. When I didn't think I would get pregnant, at least without intervention, God gave me this blessing!

Thank you Lord for allowing me the privilege of raising your lamb on this earth. Please guide us as we raise him to be the best he can be and Lord please let my family all live a long, healthy, life together :)

I love this boy.

Conviction?

2011-10-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

Read this blog: http://brittanybillingsley.blogspot.com/2011/10/sometimes-i-dont-like-conviction.html?spref=fb

That is my little sister... her blog made me think. I wish I had the guard on my mouth that she does... and I have been working on it. I wish I followed the convictions that I have... but sometimes I speak without thinking.

You see, I know what that sweet girl is talking about... and she vents to me. When I hear my sister so upset about things- it takes EVEN MORE of me NOT to speak my mind. But you know what she tells me today? Don't say anything, just talk to me. How did she get so smart?? Even when she is so upset ... she wants to keep the peace. Bless her. But then as I read or listen to the things she is saying to me- I just wish for once she WOULD disobey the convictions and tell it like it is. But she isn't... she is super Godly like that. :) I admire her. I look up to her. She is so amazing. I want to be like her when I grow up. I have said that so many times.

We, as people, often times don't think about how the things we say are going to affect others. MEEEE! I am really bad about that. I want to say how I feel, when I feel it, and to who I think needs to hear it. What about when the shoe is on the other foot? I want so badly to yell that the things that are being said are hurting me, us. .... But I haven't.

I suppose I am getting better at this.. perhaps I am starting to learn to obey the convictions that the Lord puts in my life....

I know God can heal.... but do you ever just tire of something sometimes? Just want to be done with it? I get that way- actually I think I am there right now. I need the Lords restoration so I can be content again!! Or maybe I don't need to be content.. maybe I need to be in earnest prayer about the situation, which I can admit, i am not..

Times like this, we both decided, it would be awesome to be able to go to our big brother with it. Somehow, Shane, new how to fix all problems. Don't know how.. but whenever I told him anything I was upset about- he handled it. From punching someone in the face for calling me a bad name to painting a vehicle for someone for free so they would give me the money they had promised me... HE was and is amazing. We miss him. Sometimes it is hard.... because sometimes it feels like people forget that he IS our brother... but we know.... in the end, I guess that is all that matters.

I am so thankful for my family. I am thankful for the bonds we have with eachother. It sucks we went from four to three.. but Shane is ALWAYS here... I see him in my Noah.. there is so much of him in all three of his kids... memories. We have to keep the memory alive.. and my family does that.

Hey moma and britt- I love you guys.

Again, my sister is amazing. Anyone that knows her is blessed.