After a 40 hour labor, 4 hours of pushing, and multiple attempts at vacuum extraction all with no medication, I ended up having a cesarean section. It wasn’t until they cut me open that the doctor realized that the reason she wouldn’t come out was that she was posterior and in brow position, which basically means that she had her neck cranked and was looking out the birth canal. Unfortunately the vacuum they had tried was pulling on her forehead instead of the crown of her head, and she came out with a gigantic purple bruise and a large scab in the middle of her forehead.

I was devastated, and spent the next year and a half mourning the loss of the natural childbirth I so desperately desired. When I got pregnant for the second time, less than a year later, I knew I had a lot of emotional healing to do. I was positive that I wanted to try for a VBAC, but I was actually scared to let myself believe that I could do it. I was terrified of getting my hopes too high and having my natural childbirth “stolen” from me like I felt it was the first time.

For this birth, I was lucky enough to find a team of doctors and midwives that work closely together and are highly supportive of VBAC. I was able to go with the primary care of the midwives, but still meet each of the doctors in case I would need their help. I also used hypnobirthing to help me let go of some of my biggest fears and prepare for a more positive experience.  I didn’t actually attend any hypnobirthing classes, but I found the CD’s and books extremely helpful.

At around 11 PM on March 2nd (I day past my due date), my practice contractions suddenly changed, and although they weren’t extremely intense, I could tell that I was in the early stages of labor. I made sure my husband went to bed right away, and I did the best I could to sleep that night. I was probably able to sleep about 5 hours throughout the night.

In the morning I squeezed in an appointment at the Chiropractor to help ensure that I was lined up and primed for birth. I went directly from the Chiropractor to the Midwives, who told me I was at 5 cm and 80% effaced.  She told me to go home and do lots of walking. I didn’t feel like a lot of walking was really necessary, so instead I took a nap, went on a brief stroll around the block, and made dinner for my family.

After dinner my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. Both my mom and husband were concerned and thought I should head in to the hospital. I was completely unconcerned about it because I was still able to do the dishes after dinner with brief pauses for each contraction. To appease my mom and husband, I called the midwife to get her opinion. She suggested getting in the bath and said that a warm bath would either speed up or slow down my labor depending on what my body was ready for.

After my bath and listening to some hypnobirthing, my contractions were 5 minutes apart, but much more intense. I still didn’t feel like it was time to go in, so I sat and chatted with my mom in the living room while my husband put our toddler to bed. After, I had him slowly pack up the car and get ready to go. When I finally decided I was ready to go in, we got in the car and I commented to my husband that I felt a little nauseous and shaky. My husband looked a little scared and said he was worried I was in transition already, although I claimed it was just the cereal I ate right before we left and the cold night air.

On the way to the hospital I listened to the hypnobirthing “birthing day affirmations” CD. Apparently, we hit every light green along the way and my husband never had to slow the car down. Interestingly enough, the birthing day affirmations CD ends by saying, “I am ready, I am ready, ready, ready….” It was exactly at that moment that my husband pulled into the parking spot at the hospital and turned off the car. Woah. I was in perfect control and very relaxed for the whole car ride, and for each contraction I had as I walked into the hospital. They checked me when I arrived at 10:15 and I was at 7 cm and 100% effaced.

It wasn’t until they were giving me an IV for GBS antibiotics that I started to feel a little like I was starting to lose control. The nurse that was admitting me was acting like a teenager just woken up from a long nap. I found her so obnoxious that it was hard for me to stay in a deep state of relaxation during contractions. Each one seemed longer and more painful, and I was extremely eager for her to leave the room so that I could regain control.

She finally left me and my husband alone with a birthing ball to do our own thing.  As soon as she left, I explained to my husband how I felt and told him I was worried since I “already” felt like I wanted an epidural. I was sure I had hours/days to go, just like last time. He reassured me, and also said that he didn’t think the nurse was that bad at all. However, when he looked at the monitor, he saw that my contractions really were getting more intense and lasting longer. HA! I had my proof. That nurse really DID make it impossible for me to control my contractions.

I got up to go to the bathroom, and my husband waited just outside the door for me. I wanted to go to the bathroom and then get back into my hypnobirthing groove.  While sitting on the toilet, I suddenly realized that I was about to have a bowel movement. I told my husband this, and he joked that I needed to be careful not to push a baby out too. I pushed a couple of times, which coincidentally happened to be at the same time as a contraction. I noticed that I was shaking uncontrollably as I pushed, but I was relieved and reassured when I actually DID have a bowel movement.

Part of me wondered just a little bit if this was IT. I was feeling the urge to push, but surely it was just because I was going to the bathroom, right? I couldn’t quite find the words to explain to my husband what I was thinking, but I hoped he was able to read my mind. Just to be sure that nothing else had started to come out as I had been pushing, I reached down to check. As my right hand was right below me, there was a sudden, and extremely loud popping sound, and a HUGE gush of water. My socks and my slippers were soaked. I immediately shouted out to my husband “water broke, need to push!” He must have been quick to push the button because it seemed like it was only two seconds later that my midwife was at my knees.

I definitely have a bit of a germ phobia when it comes to certain things, and I was SO embarrassed to have someone at my knees just after having a bowel movement. As she tried to ask me questions about what I was feeling, all I could do was apologize to her because I hadn’t even wiped or flushed yet! Once she realized how important that was to me, she got me some soapy wipes that I could clean up with quickly.

The next contraction happened before I could finish cleaning up all the way, and I told her I needed to push. She calmly told me not to push, or I would end up with a baby in the toilet. After that contraction ended, she and a nurse helped me off the toilet, but I quickly had to brace myself for yet another contraction as soon as I stood up. I put my hand on the frame of the door to support myself. As the nurse and midwife tried to coax me towards the bed in a calm yet frantically urgent way, all I could focus on was finding someone to clean my hand, and also the part of the door frame that I had touched. The thought of clear amniotic fluid on a doorframe that doesn’t get regularly cleaned really bothered me.

And then I felt HOT. Really, really hot. And frustrated. Why didn’t anyone understand how important it was for me to have my hair clip to get the hair out of my face? How come my husband couldn’t find it? The obnoxious nurse told me to forget about the hair clip because I was having a baby. What did she know? I wasn’t going to get on the bed like she demanded, because first I needed my hair clip. My midwife was somehow able to respectfully rip my hospital gown off of me, which immediately cooled me down.

Luckily, she was able to coax me into a good position before the next contraction, because it was really time to push. I knew I was pushing, but I also knew I had a long time to go, so I was still thinking about where my hair clip might be, and why my husband couldn’t find it. My husband was talking about how he could see our baby’s head, but I was still thinking about my hair clip. The next pushing contraction seemed to happen right on top of the first one, and I remember saying, “oh THAT’S the burn that people talk about!” The nurse responded with, “Okay, I’m just going to suck her nose out.” I didn’t really get what she was saying until I heard crying.

THAT’S when I realized what was happening. THAT’s when I realized it was a dream. Or, surely I was just “visualizing” my birth using a hypnobirthing CD. I told my husband that it wasn’t fair, that it seemed too real, that it was a dream, right? With the next push my husband reached down and caught our baby. He handed her to me immediately, and I felt a surge of love come over me. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” I repeated to this beautiful baby girl over and over. Then I looked up and said, “What just happened?”

I walked into the hospital at 10:15. The nurse left us alone around 11:00. I had a baby in my arms at 11:24. But believe me, it felt a lot faster than that!

Looking back on it now, it’s clear that I was in denial during all of the more active parts of labor. My first birth took so painfully long, that it was hard for me to imagine it any other way, even though it was obviously what I wanted.

I see now that when I was in the car and felt nauseous and chilly, it wasn’t just the cereal and the cold night air. I understand that the obnoxious nurse wasn’t making me lose control of my ability to stay on top of my contractions, but rather that they actually were getting longer and harder. And, she probably wasn’t nearly as obnoxious as I thought. The pushing feeling I had on the toilet really was IT, and it was a coincidence that I happened to have a bowel movement at the same time. Not the other way around. And, even though I was anticipating at least 4 hours of pushing that would necessitate me taking care of hair issues, I am SO grateful that that’s not what I ended up with. However, now that I know the power of my push, I’m going to try and slow it down next time so that I don’t tear. Other than that one tear though, it really was a perfect birth.

Jen

I went to see my midwife on Thursday, the day before our due date, and she told me that if I didn’t deliver in the next 10 days she would have to turn me over to a doctor to be induced in the hospital, which was the last thing we wanted.  She suggested there were some natural methods of induction we could try and since I felt my body was ready, I agreed to let her stretch my cervix. This was somewhat painful, but the pain faded within about 30 minutes.  She told me that she could feel the baby’s hair, which made me realize the baby inside me was not the tiny fetus from the ultrasound pictures, but a full term baby.  At the end of the appointment, she asked me if I felt I was ready to have the baby.  I replied casually that I was.

I did give her question a lot of thought after leaving her office.  That afternoon, I walked to a park near our house and sat on a bench in the sun. I had to admit that every night before going to bed, I would secretly hope that my labour wouldn’t begin that night. I wouldn’t say I was fearful, but I was definitely apprehensive, both about the birth and about becoming a mother. That afternoon, I told my baby that I loved her and that I was ready for her to be born.  My contractions began two hours later.

Earlier in the day, I had told my husband that we could go out for Indian food, and even though I was sure my labour had started, we went anyway.  My contractions were 5-7 minutes apart, and were about a 5 out of 10 on the pain scale.  They felt like menstrual cramps, but they were much more bearable because of the long break in between them.  After dinner we went for a walk around the park, and by 11:30, my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart, so we called the midwife. She arrived at midnight, and confirmed that I was 3-4 centimetres dilated.

I spent the night walking up and down the hall, which I found made the pain easiest to bear, and in the shower. I laid down in bed with my husband for awhile, but I found the pain to be too hard to manage laying down, even with my husband’s hands on me. My contractions at this point were 7s and 8s out of 10, which were intense, but bearable.  What really helped me was to take it one contraction at a time, and remember that each contraction would only last for a minute and then it would be over.

We took hypnobirthing classes (I loved Marie Mongan’s book) and I visualized the way my muscles were working.  As much as possible, I tried to relax and welcome the pain, knowing that the more I relaxed, the more effective the contractions would be in bringing forth our baby.  I also had a hot water bottle, which was much more useful than I would have thought.

By 4:00am I was 6-7 cm dilated, which my midwife said was good progress.  My water still hadn’t broken, and she told me that if she broke my water, it would move the labour along more quickly.  Weeks ago, in her office, I had told her that I didn’t want any interventions, but during the labour I quickly agreed.  It was very anti-climactic, the baby’s head was well engaged at this point so very little amniotic fluid came out.  She told me that since the labour was well on its way, I could get into the bathtub (apparently getting into the water too soon can slow things down).

I had 30 contractions in the tub.  My husband went to take a nap (unlike me, he had been working hard up to the birth) and my midwife relaxed on the sofa in the other room, checking on me occasionally, but for the most part, everyone left me alone, which was exactly what I needed. I counted the contractions as a way of distracting myself.

As sun came up, my contractions started to change – I now felt the urge to push – the contractions took over my whole body and reached up and gripped my throat and I started making involuntary guttural noises.  My midwife checked me again, and said I was fully dilated at the back, but I still had some of the edge of my cervix at the front as laying on my back in the tub had put pressure on the back of my cervix, but not the front.  She suggested I lean over the bathroom sink to position the baby’s head right on the front of my cervix.  My husband was up at this point and he rubbed my back as the contractions came, and I was glad then to have him with me.

My midwife started calling the others from her clinic to try to get a second midwife to attend the birth, and she told me to breathe through the contractions as much as possible to avoid pushing.  After about 20 minutes of leaning over the sink, I laid down on the bed on my back and continued to breathe through the contractions.  She told me afterwards that I was able to breathe the baby all the way down to the perineum, which is a hypnobirthing technique, which she said she had not seen anyone do before.

When the other midwives arrived, she asked me to push on the contractions, which I found overwhelmingly painful. I could feel myself tearing at the top, and to be honest, I was afraid to push. With the encouragement of my midwife, I did push my hardest for two contractions.  During one, I reached down and felt the opening, and also felt the baby’s head beneath my skin.  At that moment, I realized how much bigger her head was than my opening.  My midwife watched me do this, and told me that I had the option of an episiotomy, and that it would be her recommendation to do so.  I quickly and gratefully agreed. Our baby was born with the next contraction. Once her head emerged, the rest of her body came out easily.  I wish I could say that she and I bonded in that first hour, but I was still in a lot of pain and I felt overwhelmed by the experience. The midwives helped me breastfeed her, and a few hours later left my husband and I to rest with our new baby.

Some thoughts I’ve had since the birth:

I think it was the stretching of my cervix that caused my labour to begin, but I credit the state of mind that I came to that afternoon with the steady progression of the labour and my ability to focus.

The episiotomy did upset me initially.  I made the mistake of getting out the hand mirror a few days after the birth and between my deep tears and the episiotomy, which cut one of my lips into two pieces, it was really a horror show.  I felt it was a personal failing, that perhaps it had happened because I didn’t have the courage to push hard enough. But time heals all wounds, both physical and psychological, and five months later my tears are light grey lines and the cut is not as pronounced.  Through parenting we discover our tremendous capacity for selflessness, and I realize now how completely inconsequential the episiotomy was.

Although the second stage of labour was very painful, it was actually very, very short – I only pushed for about eight contractions, so I really only experienced about eight minutes of really intense pain.

Looking back, I feel that Lauren’s birth was a really great experience.

Jennifer

When she found out we were expecting again she told us her desire to be a doula and asked if we would want her to try and finish the course by our due date so she could be a doula for us.  We decided that her aspiration was wonderful and she should definitely pursue it, but we were very eager to have my husband coach the birth.  She understood and went ahead with pursuing the doula training, but not with the urgency to have it completed by our due date.

Anyway, as she completed the required reading list for DONA (Doulas of North America) she read a book called Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.  She highly recommended I read it as well.  I checked it out from our local library and read through it quickly.  I knew that this was the birth experience I wanted.  When I came to the end of the book, I read the about the author section on the inside of the back cover.  When I read that she was in Summertown, TN I immediately asked my husband to mapquest it.  It was only 2 hours away so we called and asked if we could have our baby there.

During this time my mother-in-law also recommended The Bradley Method® of husband coached natural childbirth since she knew we wanted a natural birth.  I looked into classes and the closest instructor I could find was in KY.  I keep checking and later found an instructor who had recently moved here to Clarksville!  I emailed her immediately and asked about prices, times, etc.  The price was very reasonable and it was the best money we spent on the birth.  I am so glad we took it, you will soon hear about how well this method really works.  If you are pregnant and want a natural childbirth – FIND A BRADLEY® INSTRUCTOR NEAR YOU!

Originally we had planned that my mother-in-law (Nana) would come to The Farm to watch our 2 year old son, Caleb, during the labor and ensure he was present at the birth so that my husband could focus on coaching me.  However, at the end of May Nana called to inform us that her husband had to go to the doctor for a possible staph infection.  A week later on 30MAY08 they would have to go to the hospital to have a MRSA infection cleaned out of his knee and they did not know how long they would be there.

We made arrangements for another friend from church to come and assist with Caleb if Nana couldn’t make it.  She was very distraught about it all as she desperately wanted to be there for Mike and also to be at the birth, but we all knew that God had a plan and purpose for all of this and His timing and will would be done.  My father-in-law ended up staying in the hospital until 10JUN08 and having 4 surgeries.  Nana and I stayed in close contact during this time and keep each other updated on our current statuses.

While I was starting to tire of being pregnant and becoming anxious to meet our new addition, we all preferred Nana be able to assist with Caleb at The Farm and were praying that Savanna Zoe would hold off until she could.  Caleb prayed every night for PawPaw to recover quickly so he would feel better and Nana could come.  Also, we were having new windows installed on Tue the 10th and Wed the 11th and wanted to have that project finished before she arrived.  What a thoughtful little girl she turned out to be!

On Wednesday I woke up feeling great and as if Savanna was coming really soon.  I cleaned the entire house and did all of the laundry, including towels and bed sheets.  I was also loosing the mucous plug bit by bit throughout the day.  I called our midwife, Carol Nelson, to inform her about the plug.  Nana called in the afternoon to see how things were going and let me know she was ready when we were and Mike was doing well.  When I told her how much cleaning I had accomplished she said she would go ahead and come down to our house that evening just in case and she arrived after dinner.

The next morning I awoke at 6AM with fairly regular contractions of 10 minutes apart and lasting about 30-45 seconds each while laying down and 5 minutes apart lasting 1 minute when standing and walking.  I stayed in bed until Caleb woke up and then told my husband and Nana.  We ate breakfast (except for my husband- who was busy trying start his vacation time from work and to print, fill out and fax in an absentee form for his master’s program on Saturday and fax his take home final to his instructor as well) and everyone showered and got ready for the day.

I called Carol and let her know about the contractions.  She suggested I drink a big glass of water and then lay down again and see what happened with them.  Emman left to have breakfast with his friend, mentor, associate, and accountability partner.  I did as Carol suggested and they spaced back out to 10 minutes apart and 45 seconds long.  I called her back and she said if they aren’t going away then they sound like definite labor contractions, but it is still very early and she asked when we thought we would go down.  Our plan had always been to leave at the first sign of real labor since second labors usually go faster and we had a 2 hour drive to get there.  So I said we would be packing up the last minute things and heading down.

My husband came home and finished with what I mentioned above in order to be excused from work as well as class that Saturday.  He also called a friend to arrange for our dogs Abram and Sarai to be picked up and stay with them while we were gone – they would also be keeping Sarai as their pet when we came back (Sarai has always desired to be the full and ONLY center of attention and a house with another dog and soon to be 2 kids was too much competition for her, so we decided she would be happier in an only pet environment where she could have the attention she craved).  He then posted the blog that we would be leaving.

Nana and I watched Caleb and loaded the van.  Caleb “helped” to load the van and pack last minute things as well.  We got the van loaded with food for a possible full week stay at the cabin, our last minute clothes, and Caleb’s stuffed animals, sound machine, bedding, and pack-n-play.  My husband finished with his tasks about the same time.

Then, as is customary in our family, we posed outside the van for photos before loading up and taking off.  On the way we called friends and family.  We stopped just once for a potty break for Caleb.  Caleb serenaded us pretty much the entire two hour drive with “BINGO”.  Only it had many more “B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O” than I remember the original version of the song having with only an occasional “there was a farmer who had a dog”.  My contractions stayed about 10 minutes apart and 45 seconds long the entire trip.

I called Carol and let her know we were on our way and she said she would have the cabin unlocked and ready for us and just to call her when we got in (there is a phone in the cabin for local calls to the midwives in order to allow for more privacy for the birthing family as well as quick access to the midwives if needed).

We arrived at the cabin around noon so we unpacked, ate lunch, and called Carol almost simultaneously.  Carol arrived and checked me while my husband put Caleb down for a nap.  I was 1 cm dilated and completely effaced.  She suggested a nap and a walk afterwards.  Nana and I napped and my husband took on the massive task of filling the large birthing tub.  The hot water heater was very small so he could only run the hose for about 10 minutes then had to wait 20 for the tank to refill with hot water, so he boiled water in several pots at the same time and dumped them in as the water got hot, then refilled and boiled again.

When everyone, including Caleb woke up we walked (except for my husband- he was still filling the tub- bless his heart!).  We went up and down a big steep hill that Carol had suggested and Caleb even walked up it by himself and faster then I could keep up almost!  Nana was very thankful that she didn’t have to carry him.  On our way back to the cabin from the walk we saw Carol drive by and stopped to talk.  My contractions hadn’t changed much and she suggested I try rubbing my belly during contractions and said I should not get discouraged, but try to get some sleep tonight and call her when things picked up.

We got back around 6:00 and Nana microwaved one of the thawed casseroles I had frozen for our stay.  The microwave was pretty weak as we soon learned and heating dinner took longer than cooking it in the first place!  We would heat food in the oven or a skillet from that point on.  My husband finished filling the tub.  He had made the water extra warm so that it didn’t get too cold since we didn’t know when we would actually be using it.  Caleb saw the tub of water and asked, “Where’s the toys?  Baby Zoe needs toys to play with in the tub.”

While waiting on dinner I starting rubbing my belly with each contraction.  Let me tell you, that works amazingly well!  As soon as I started rubbing, the contractions became a LOT stronger.  They were now about 5 minutes apart but only 30 seconds long.  By the end of dinner I didn’t want to rub anymore because the contractions were becoming very strong and painful.  Contractions were now 2 minutes apart and 50 seconds long.

I started to try to focus on relaxing through each one like we learned to do in Bradley class, but it was very difficult to concentrate on that with Caleb finishing dinner and getting ready for bed.  We promised Caleb that we would wake him up if baby Zoe started to come while he was asleep so that he could watch (we had been preparing him for this and he was very excited about his new sister being born and how it was to happen).  Caleb went to bed and I called Carol around 8:00 pm.  When she heard my voice during a contraction she said she would be right over.

When Carol arrived she checked me and I was 3 cm dilated.  At this point I stopped timing contractions and just tried to focus.  I stood holding onto my husband and trying to relax through each contraction while he pushed on my lower back.  I was finally feeling like I was starting to get a better focus and be able to relax through them, but I wasn’t quite there.  Nana offered to braid my hair in two braids one on each side and I gladly obliged.  My husband got me a cool rag for my neck and I sat on the bed while she fixed my hair, I would relax and lean over onto my husband during contractions and she would start braiding again when they ended.

I was losing modesty and getting very warm.  Once I was able to get focused and relax at the very start of each contraction, the pain went away!  That’s right, each contraction felt like a blood pressure cuff being inflated around my belly, but as long as I focused and let my uterus work the way God intended it to and stopped stressing out about it, it didn’t hurt anymore!!!  Labor from here on out was great!  I was doing so well at relaxing that Carol asked if the contractions were getting easier or if I was just getting better control.  Carol even told Nana that I was so relaxed she couldn’t tell where I was at in labor anymore.

It was then suggested that I try a birthing stool as it would put me in more of a squat position.  Sitting in the chair did exactly what it was supposed to and the contractions became stronger and harder, it took even more focus to relax through them now. Some time later I tried lying on my side in the Bradley® runner position.  This was very painful on my lower back and so we switched to Emman sitting behind me and propping me up in an alternate labor position.  By this point my legs were starting to shake uncontrollably which jostled my back (I have degenerative disc disease and several torn discs in my lower back) and caused great discomfort.

Nana and Carol massaged my legs and Carol remarked excitedly that this must be transition.  She wanted to check me since we were not advised to get into the birthing tub until I was 5 cm since the warm water often slows things down.  She thought I must be at least 5 by now.  It was 10:50 pm and I was 7 cm going on 8.  Carol said we could get into the birthing tub and the water temp was perfect.

Carol called another midwife, Sharon, to assist in the birth.  My husband and I took turns in the bathroom and then got in.  I had one contraction after getting in while myhusband was in the bathroom, then one or two more with him holding me up in the birthing tub.  I then had a strong urge to push.  I told Carol and asked Nana to get Caleb up.  Carol asked if I was sure since I was only 7 going on 8 a few minutes ago.  I said I was.  She started to put on the birthing tub gloves (they come up to their elbows) to check my dilation and my husband reminded me that if I felt that I needed to push to do so as my body knew what to do.

I started becoming a little frantic about Caleb being woken up as I knew that he was about to miss it.  Nana ran upstairs to get him.  I pushed with the next contraction; by this point the urge to push was so strong I could not have resisted if I tried.  Carol had one glove on when she turned around and saw the head already crowning and decided that she had 2 choices:  put on the other glove or catch the baby.  She decided to catch the baby.  At the same time Nana comes quickly downstairs with Caleb.  I push once more and she is out.  Caleb is in shock from being jolted awake and rushed down right as his sister pops out, I am relieved and my husband is nearly at muscle failure from holding me up!  It is 11:00 pm exactly.

About this time Sharon walks in and is surprised to see a baby!  She exclaims that she only lives 5 minutes away and she knows it didn’t take that long to get here.  Carol laughs and tells her that it happened so fast she didn’t even get the other glove on!  Savanna Zoe is placed on my stomach in the water with a blanket over her and my husband and I hold her and stare at her. My first thoughts are, “wow, that is a lot of hair and some crazy chubby cheeks, but the rest of her is so skinny!”

Sharon says there is no way that she is 41 weeks with so much vernix all over her.  I then ask if she is a girl and Sharon said that she would be an awfully pretty boy if she wasn’t and everyone confirms that indeed she is a she.  I tried to nurse her, but she seemed as exhausted by the whole process as I was and not extremely interested, so I just held her.

We asked Caleb if he wanted to put on his swim trunks and get in the birthing tub and hold her, but he said no.  He was still very shocked and not quite awake, also a little concerned about her crying and confused as to why everyone else thought it was fine. Sensing his nervousness about the crying and remembering the many rounds of BINGO just hours before, I told Caleb that he should sing BINGO to her since she would recognize his voice and had listened to him singing it on the way.  He began to sing and lo and behold, she quieted down!  (This would become his special song to her as he sings it to her any time she cries, most of the time it works, but only when he sings it!)  Later Caleb exclaimed, “mommy just went ugh, and out came baby Zoe!”

After several minutes, it seemed like at least a half hour, but I am sure it probably wasn’t that long, the placenta still had not come and Savanna Zoe’s blanket was all wet, and I was afraid the placenta wouldn’t come until I could relax and not be concerned about her getting too far under water, and Emman was shaking from muscle fatigue so I confirmed that the cord had stopped pulsing and requested Emman cut the cord and Caleb helped. I handed her to Nana. After I relaxed I felt another urge to push and the placenta finally came. My husband and I stood up to get out of the tub. This is when I apparently passed out.

Nana was kind enough to add in here a piece from her birth experience with Savanna Zoe since my version goes blank for a few moments:

“The most unexpected special blessing for me, was after your husband cut the cord, you handed her to me. It was such an honor to have you look in my eyes, smile & hand your precious newborn to me! I will never forget that moment or the look of trust in your eyes. I don’t know that it was something you had thought about or planned. I think it just happened, but I thank you for it. I got to be the first to hold her after you, not a stranger in the hospital, but her very own Nana!

“I know you were unaware as you were passing out, but I held her and sang to her (and held her down low for Caleb to see) for a very long time as the others worked with you. There was tension building in the room & much rushing around concerning you. I was very conscious of trying to reassure and comfort her (& Caleb) that her Mommy was okay & that we all loved her very much and that all would be fine now that she was here. I remained calm so she & Caleb would hopefully sense my calm, not the tension in the room.

“The midwife finally came to check her over, weigh & measure her as the other midwife went to the kitchen to fix the eggs & toast. (I don’t believe she held her at all.) I diapered her (& maybe put a t-shirt on her, or was that later?). The midwife wrapped her in fresh blankets and handed her back to me. When your husband was available to leave your side, I handed her to him.”

When they weighed and measured her she was a whopping 8 lbs 10 oz and 20.5 inches long! Not the little girl I was expecting!   I woke up moments later on the bed with everyone staring at me!  (This happened with Caleb too only we assumed that it was because I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink and such was not the case this time as I had been encouraged to eat and drink as I desired.)  Sharon made us all scrambled eggs and toast (such a wonderfully different atmosphere than what you find in a hospital- when does the OB fix the whole family eggs after delivery)!

I passed out several more times in the next 24 hours, they took blood samples, checked my iron, temperature, blood pressure, etc, but everything was normal.  I was okay, apparently I am just a postpartum-passer-outer!  So that is it!  We spent a few days on The Farm to ensure that I was okay and all got a little cabin fever since it was raining most of the time and the cabin was small for 3 adults, a very active 2 ½ year old, and a newborn (we all felt like the Ingall’s family on Little House on the Prairie).  It was a beautiful and peaceful place though with deer roaming around the cabin as we watched out of the windows and tried to take pictures!

Overall, this was one of the best experiences of my life!  It was invigorating, empowering, encouraging, uplifting, and spiritual.  During the Bradley classes as I read about women with “painless” labors, I thought, how can this be.  After all hadn’t God commanded that women have pain in child birth due to the original sin?  A word study on the passage revealed to me that the Hebrew word we have translated as pain in our Bibles is he same exact word that is later translated as hard work in regards to Adam’s side of the curse.

I can say that focusing on relaxing and letting my body do what it is supposed to and what God intended it to do without interfering is hard work, but it wasn’t painful as long as I did these things and let go.  This experience has taught me that life is the same.  It is a whole lot of hard work to “let go and let God”, but it is often extremely painful when we don’t.  I would highly recommend the Bradley method to anyone expecting a baby and would highly recommend The Farm midwives to anyone comfortable with that style of labor.  It was exactly the experience I was hoping for!  God is good and I feel so blessed for being able to experience the miracle of  childbirth like this!

The birth was so wonderful I decided to become a Bradley® instructor myself!

Jade
www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=C564

Tuesday night I told Jon that we should go out on a date to get our minds off the waiting part. I was getting pretty cranky about the whole thing after being so chill for so long. So, after our 5 billionth walk around the neighborhood we went out to get some food and then went to see “The Hangover”, where at some point during the movie someone threw a pair of 3D glasses and hit me in the head. But, the movie was funny because: Mike Tyson… singing. Do I even need to mention at this point that I was having contractions? I had been having them so often all week I was pretty much just ignoring it. They would get stronger as soon as we left the house or went on a walk but then not much else would happen.

So, we went home and went to bed. And nothing happened. Wednesday when I woke up I just couldn’t bring myself to go into work and face everyone again. It felt weird to stay home though, because what if he didn’t come until the week after? how many days could I really cut work if he wasn’t coming soon?

I took the dogs for a walk first thing when I woke up. I’m sure I looked absolutely ridiculous all pregnant and huge and walking dogs around the neighborhood. Or at least evidently I did because people kept talking to me everywhere I went. Some men in the park asked me if I was “‘pregerated and walking two dogs”, which apparently to old men in the park (who may or may not have been drunk at 9am) is really hilarious. We walked and walked. And walked. Finally I gave up and came home. I called Jon and reported that I was having contractions. If you could consider being sweaty and tired contractions, which is to say, no. And I sat down to watch tv and mope.

Mid-mope, around noon I started having contractions again. Since Monday I had worried and worried, would I know when it was finally time? I was much further dilated than I could have expected and I worried about things progressing too fast. Even though I had been having contractions all week that were long and close together these seemed different. not painful but… different. they kept going every 3-4 minutes and by 2pm I called Jon and told him to finish up work and come home. He apparently took that to mean finish up stuff before you leave and take a long time, when really what I was saying was COME HOME NOW. And by the time he finally got there I had been starting to panic while pacing around the house.

So I paced. And he timed. I hadn’t showered after my hot and sweaty walk so around 4 I got in the shower while Jon gathered up all our bags and things. He was timing on the ipod touch with the labormate, which turned out to be totally fun. Every time I had a contraction I would yell GO! from the bathroom and then STOP! so he could do the timing while I washed up. Eventually that turned into “one’s coming!” and by the end I was just saying “it’s a one” and then, “one!” which turned into our sort of strange labor code for contractions for the rest of the night.

After that we figured it was probably time to call my doctor’s office. I couldn’t decide if it was really, you know… IT. Sure, I was having tough contractions every 3 minutes for a few hours. But, that had happened before. And technically the dr had said to call if they were closer than 5 minutes apart which we totally didn’t do. But, I just wasn’t miserable. I felt… fine. Especially in between. I figured it couldn’t really be it. When I did call the office they were no help at all. They just said they would call the hospital and have them pull my charts. I was still worried, because that’s the #1 Bradley rule- don’t go to the hospital too soon! So we waited another hour, maybe longer before we finally left.

When we went out to go to the car, between contractions, there was a dead snake in our yard. Apparently Bang had done battle with a little garden snake and somehow killed it. I still can’t believe it! Go Miss Bangerang! Feisty! We know it definitely wasn’t Nico because I one time saw him stand directly on top of a hissing pissed off snake and not even notice. He is oblivious to wildlife.

Back to our story. We headed off to the hospital which is only about 8 minutes from our house, no big deal. One contraction in the car. We got there, parked, and slowly walked up to check in. The woman at the triage desk kept trying to get me to sit down in a chair and fill out paperwork but I really NEEDED to be standing or walking at that point so I scribbled down whatever and then paced up and down the hall waiting to be “checked” to make sure I was really in labor and they weren’t going to send us home (yeah that was pretty unlikely at that point). I still don’t understand what all that paperwork I filled out and pre-registered with was for if I had to fill out more forms when I got there.

While we were waiting for a triage room we enjoyed the treat of some super-redneck people coming in looking for their girlfriend/daughter/friend wearing awesome oversized t-shirts with gangsta-chuckie on them. And then a huge family came in looking for a girl that had been transferred there from another hospital and they sent them all to the waiting room. When I was in getting checked out Jon said that they lost them ALL. All the family just… went somewhere. They went to tell them the girl was all settled in her room and they were gone. Did I mention that these same people RAN INTO ME when I was pacing in the hall during a contraction?? Had I been able to speak I would have yelled at them for sure, but that was not exactly high priority at the time.

In the triage room they hooked me up to all the monitors and crap to make sure I was really in labor and then did a cervix check. I was 6cm and fully effaced and definitely in labor. the nurse was all psyched that we were going to have a natural birth and was sad that her shift was ending so she wouldn’t get to help. And they actually asked for our birth plan, and read it, and took copies and attached it to everything. She put in my heplock and then walked us over to our official birthing suite in the FANCY WING! YEAH! And briefed our nurse, Kelly, on the no drugs Bradley deal, and then… there we were:

They have two wings, the new one for uncomplicated births and the crappy side for people with complications or if the fancy side is full. We had our fingers crossed the entire time that we would end up on the nice side with the flat panel tv’s and ipod hookups and private bathrooms… score!

Kelly said we could do whatever we wanted, but I was excited and wanted to keep walking around to keep things progressing. So she got me some ice water in a big tub and we walked around the floor. We only had to come back every hour to check in on the monitors. We also found out that of course, the doctor on call from my OBGYN’s office was the ONE I HADN’T MET. Great. So for our first hour we walked. The walking made the contractions ramp up but it still really wasn’t that bad. After an hour we came back to check in and my doctor was there for our monitor session. I was immediately worried because she kept asking me over and over if I thought I was really in labor. apparently, I didn’t look like I was in enough pain for her. She just kept staring at me and asking about my pain levels. And I kept telling her, yeah, it’s intense, but it’s really not that bad. Which evidently was not a satisfactory answer. I tried to reassure her by telling her that I thought I was just a slow laborer, and she said she would come back to check on us later.

So we walked and paced and walked, and came back again to be monitored. The monitoring was the worst part. I think if I had to stay in the bed the entire time I can understand why people need pain medication. it just sucked to be in the bed and there was no way to move to get my mind off of it. But, Jude was doing fine in there so they didn’t have any worries. After that it was time for “Ghosthunters”, and thankfully the labor suites had cable. So, I bounced on the birth ball and we watched tv. I wasn’t a big fan of the ball so I switched to the rocking chair, and I ended up staying there for a few hours.

And so it went. At this point the contractions were getting pretty intense. I still wouldn’t say that they hurt but DUDE, those muscles are WORKING. Breath and rock and breath and rock. Jon sat very patiently near me and waited for “a one” and then reminded me to sit still and breath. I pretty much zoned out for a few hours while we watched roasts on comedy central. At one point Jon dashed out to get some food because he hadn’t eaten in a long time and brought back caffeine drinks and gas station snacks from around the corner.

I started to feel nauseous. And I told jon to go tell Kelly right away. She came in and told us where the towels and supplies and a tiny vomit-catching bucket were. And then, a few minutes later, oh boo, the vomit. I tried to vomit into the little cup, but I was vomiting waaaayyy too much vomit for it to contain and ended up overflowing it and continuing to throw up all over myself and the floor. And I thought to myself, I know that nausea is a sign of transition! But I doubted that I could have gone so far in so short a time. I didn’t want to get too excited. So Jon and Kelly got me into the shower. From this point on I was pretty much naked the entire time. I threw up all over my handy $10 black dress and having Kelly and the doctor see me naked was really not high on my list of concerns anymore. I was in the zone.

So I stood in the shower. And the contractions were rocking right along. I was doubting myself. I had to wear a bag over my hand so water didn’t get in my heplock. and I stood and swayed and Jon stood there and helped me.

And then my water popped in a big flood of liquid, and I told Jon to go get Kelly. By this time I had the shakes and I was freezing cold. So they got me some towels and Kelly asked if I wanted to be checked since my water broke, and I said sure. And I was 9 cm! All of a sudden! Yeah! I was relieved, but things were coming pretty fast. That was when we found out that Kelly had to go call the doctor BECAUSE SHE HAD GONE HOME. Apparently she thought my labor was so boring and not moving along so she went home. And now they had to call her back for my delivery.

I went back to the rocking chair, but during each contraction I would stand up and lean on Jon and sway back and forth, and he would remind me to relax and breath. And that went on for a long time. Another hour? More? I literally have no idea. At that point I was in my own foggy world. In between contractions I would sleep in the chair and then pop up and sway and then back down and sleep. When my doctor came back she was still totally freaked out that I wasn’t screaming and crying and whatever. So they all just watched me and let Jon and I do our own thing.

My body pretty much decided it was time to push and started pushing for me when I would stand up during contractions, and I let Kelly and Jon know. So sometimes I would push, and then rest, and then push. I was so glad that the doctor let me just do what my body wanted, so we continued by feel. No coaching and yelling and counting.

I had been fairly quiet in the beginning, like dead silent. But by this time I was vocalizing with the contractions, I just couldn’t help it. And after a while of that they suggested I try some different positions to get things going. So they got me up on the bed on all fours, and I pushed that way for a hour or so. At that point it hurt more to NOT push than it did to go ahead and push, there is no choice. So push and rest, and push and rest. And Jon was up by my head helping me breath calmly. Then they suggested side lying, so we tried pushing like that. And that felt much more productive.

They were getting all set up and my doctor could see his head. And she kept saying that he had no hair! I was sad because I thought maybe he would have hair because Jon and I both have lots of dark thick hair. So jon held my one leg and I pushed and pushed and at that point screamed and screamed. I actually thought about how funny it was that I was probably totally alarming everyone else on the floor with all my yowling. And then finally he was almost out, and it was the worst possible part, not because of the baby but because of whatever the doctor was doing down there with her hand to try to help his face come out. OUCH. And my contractions were slowing down to give me time to rest in between but I wanted to keep going and going and get it over with and it was so frustrating to wait for them to come and everything was running together.

And then we found out he was sunny side up. surprise!

And one more push and he was there.
And they lifted him up and put him on my belly.
And he was so healthy and pink and super awake.
And Jon and I held him and it was so quiet and awesome.

Born 9-3-09 at 3:33 am
8lbs, 6 oz · 20 3/4 inches

Jon cut the cord and we delivered the placenta. Apparently we had some kind of weird extra lobe on the placenta and the doctor was sad that there weren’t any medical students there to show. It was probably why early on they thought I might have had placenta previa. Jude was hungry, and I fed him, and he ate like a superstar. I had a small tear and she gave me a few stitches. So all in all it was about 15 hours. And I feel like this isn’t a very dramatic story, but well… it wasn’t really that dramatic I guess.

The doctor kept telling us she was really impressed. She said I should teach a natural birthing class because I did it like a pro. And she was amazed that he was posterior because I didn’t have any back labor and I pushed him out all on my own. I still can’t believe we made it. To be honest, I really don’t think it was that bad until the end, and by that time it was way too late for medications. The best part was afterward, how I could get up and walk around, and go to the restroom and clean up, and jude was so awake and ready to hang out. And they put me in a wheel chair and took us to recovery after about an hour of just being together. One of my favorite parts was that Jon was out by the nurses station and they have these big tv’s with the status of every patient up on them, and he said every one said either “epidural” or “pitocin” except mine, which said “NATURAL” in big letters. I’m not going to lie guys, it feels totally surreal that we made it and I feel pretty proud.

Jamie
www.grumblesandgrunts.com

Anyway, I took a shower, ate some breakfast, and called my husband. The contractions were strong enough that I really didn’t want to stay at home alone with my 3 year old all day. I was afraid I wouldn’t be as available to get him what he needed, so John agreed to come home. I also wanted John to be with me during the whole thing.

John came home and we decided to go out to eat and to the park. The weather was abnormally warm for February. And also there had been a full moon. Anyway, we went to Route 66 and I ordered a Double Steak with Cheese and fried potatoes. Yum. After this, we went to Happy Hollow Park. I had to stop every 6 minutes or so for a contraction. We met a couple friends there, and had a nice time. I was tired, so we went home so I could try to get a nap in. After getting home I took another shower to try to calm down for a nap. After trying to nap for an hour, I decided it wasn’t going to happen. So, I gathered John and Jackson to go on a walk with me. By this time the contractions were pretty painful. We only made it for about 15 minutes on the walk and then came home.

After being home for only an hour, I decided that my 3 year old needed to go. I was having a hard time getting through a contraction with him running around yelling. So, Grandpa came to pick him up. After he was gone, John went around the house lighting candles and turning down the lights. At this point I called our Midwife. When I got on the phone with her I started crying because I wasn’t sure how far I was into the labor, and I wasn’t sure if maybe it would be possible to stall out the labor with a bath so I could get some rest. Our plan prior to my going into labor was to stop the labor (if possible) if I labored all day. We wanted to avoid exhaustion.

When the Midwife arrived we started filling the birth pool. It was taking much longer than I preferred to get that thing filled! Our hot water heater is miniscule, so we had to boil tons of water to get warm water in the pool. The warm water was supposed to either stall out the labor, or speed it up. After getting in, my labor slowed down.

When my contractions stayed at the slower pace for a while, my Midwife and the attendants decided to go out for some dinner. They thought that maybe I would get some rest while they were gone, or speed labor up due to not being the center of 5 people’s attention. When they left things definitely got going. I was yelling for HELP and telling John that I needed to go to the hospital so I could get an epidural and go to sleep. He stayed strong and told me no. He knew that wasn’t really what I wanted. I would have been very disappointed if we would have gone to the hospital.

After yelling so loud that the neighbors were probably wondering, ‘who the hell is being tortured next door?’, I told John to call our Midwife. I was definitely in hard labor. I got back in the birth pool and stayed there until Archer arrived. John laid behind me to support me while I moaned and yelled some more. I was very attached to one of the attendants. Later I found out she has been a doula and has been attending home births since I was born. She just gave me a lot of comfort and encouragement. Every time she would leave the room I would yell HELP!

By this point there was no conversation and the only thing you heard was me moaning. This lasted for only an hour and a half and all of the sudden I felt a snap, and I assumed it was just my water breaking. Then came the urge to push. So, I yelled, ‘I gotta push’! And I did. I pushed maybe 2 times through that one contraction and Archer was out! He came out in the water sac or, ‘in the caul’.

What my Midwife later told me was that Archer came out with his hand by his face and reached for her hand.  She said it was quite an amazing experience. He surprised everyone with how quickly he came. We all were in a bit of shock. He went right on my chest and it was all over! He was beautiful! He cried shortly after laying with me and stayed with me for the next few hours. He was born at 1:09 am on February 11, 2009, also my birthday! He is by far the best gift I have ever gotten on my birthday!

Our experience with having a home birth was wonderful. It was better than we expected, and even though it was rough for a little while, I am so glad we did it. This was much more of a natural way to welcome our new baby to our family. It seems that at the hospital the doctors and nurses take control of the labor and birth. For us, we were in charge, and we made the experience what it was—absolutely wonderful.

Katie
A stay at home mom of 2 boys.  I have a side business of sewing linen ring slings.  I am very passionate about natural birth, health, and living.
www.mamakates.com

That Friday we had a BPP (biophysical profile) test scheduled, which includes an ultrasound and a non-stress test, where they check all of baby’s stats and make sure everything is still OK. They look for baby’s movement, breathing, fluid levels and muscle tone, and then hook you up to a monitor to make sure baby’s heart rate is increasing with movement, etc.

Annnd….we kind of failed the test.

Baby was in the middle of a nice long nap during the ultrasound, and was NOT interested in coming out to play. Thus he got a big fat ZERO in the movement box, and a big fat ZERO in the breathing box, because that was also way down.

Luckily he came out to play for the non stress test, and they recorded lots of movement there.

However, since we technically failed the test, the midwives asked me to come back the next morning to repeat the whole shenanigan all over again.

Goodie.

My midwife assured me it was nothing to get concerned about, since they saw lots of movement eventually, and that lower breathing rates can actually be a sign of a baby getting ready to head on out, but it was another day of waiting, and another drive to the hospital the next morning.

Or not…

We went home, I promptly got on the elliptical and went for a nice long (but slow!) walk. Ate 1/2 a pineapple. Then got up to some shenanigans of our own later that night.

Something seems to have worked!

At 3:30 am, I woke up feeling those telltale cramps. By 4am, my contractions started. They were regular from the get-go, coming about 5 minutes apart, but only lasting about 30 seconds or so. I stayed in bed for the next two hours, determined to rest and let the family keep sleeping, and knowing full well that my 3 year old son Griffin would be up at 6:01, and there was no chance of anyone sleeping in. I started to make lists in my head…lists of all the things I had to do when I got up – strip the good sheets off the bed, blow up the pool a bit more, pack the last of Griffin’s things, oh and muffins…wouldn’t it be nice to have fresh muffins this morning?

Just before 6am I woke my husband Steve up to share the news.

The first few hours of the morning flew by in a haze. We called Grandma and Grandpa to come pick up Griffin, called my mom, called my friend Gretel who was coming to be my doula, and finally, called the midwives, all while my contractions sped up to about 3 minutes apart. I took a shower, and spent about an hour sitting onto the birthing ball and just breathing through the contractions.  Things slowed down a bit for that hour, maybe because I was so relaxed…and maybe because upon coming to check on me at one point, Steve found me trying to move the changing table to plug in the heating pad for when baby was born, and in no uncertain terms told me to sit back down and chill out until the midwives arrived.  The stress of having me in labour and Griffin being very hyper was a bit much I think!  (However, I did get those muffins made!)

At 8:30am, everyone seemed to converge all at once. Grandma and Grandpa arrived, just in the nick of time, because we were starting to lose patience with the 3 year old Captain Full O’Beans! The midwives arrived. The dog went crazy. Gretel arrived. The midwives checked me and declared me 4 cm dilated, and in active labour, all while Dudley the dog barked madly in the background.

And then suddenly, it was quiet again.  Griffin, Grandma and Grandpa were gone, thankfully taking the dog with them, and I had the go-ahead to get in the birthing tub.

Ah the tub! It was warm, I was buoyant, it was all good. And those stories you read, about water birthing, and how getting in the birthing tub just makes the pain of the contractions “melt away?”

Um….not for me!

Don’t get me wrong, it was relaxing as stink to hang out in the water all day. It was easy to change positions, it was soothing and warm, but there was nothing melting about my contractions!

The midwives encouraged me to get out of the tub fairly regularly, as walking around sped things up. I got out for the first time around noon I think, just around the time that my Mom arrived. Another check found me at 6cms, and we decided to break my water just to keep things moving along. (I’m kind of with the “lets just get this over with” school, that says bring on the pain, if it means it’s over quicker!)

I think it was shortly after 1pm that I got out of the tub again. The contractions had seriously intensified, and I could no longer get comfortable in the tub. Buoyancy was suddenly unwanted, I wanted something solid and supporting under me that I could lean on, and I knew push against when the time came.

And the time came sooner than I anticipated. We moved to our bedroom, the walk there having stepped things up another notch.  I knew we were close.  Steve snuggled up on the bed next to me for a few delightful minutes while I worked through the next few contractions.  Suddenly I started to feel the pressure in my bum, and the urge to push became overwhelming.  The midwife quickly checked me, and I was glad to hear that we were good to go, everything was dilated and effaced and all the other things they needed to be. So suddenly we were pushing. And just as suddenly, it was over. I think maybe a grand total of 4 pushes and a few tribal howls later, I was holding my beautiful new son in my arms.  They brought him right up to my chest and he let out a few gurgle-y cries.

Now, aside from all the “technical elements” of the story, I want to tell you a bit about what I remember about the beauty of being able to have this experience in my own home. Our house, which is full of windows facing in all directions, was flooded with the most beautiful sun light all day long…I’m not sure I’ve seen a more beautiful day so far this winter. Despite the fact that there were 6 people in the house plus me, it was silent, almost reverent, all day long. It was an amazing feeling to be surrounded by familiar things, familiar people, all of whom obviously held a deep respect for what they were witnessing. I hardly felt worthy of the respect as I lounged in the water and later howled on the bed…heck, most of what I was doing was breathing. However, here in the afterglow, holding a stunning little human being in my arms as I type, I fully understand the importance of the event. It’s life giving…it’s giving life.

I really don’t know where everyone was or what everyone did all day long, but the one thing I do know is that Steve never left my side – he was amazing, strong, and I couldn’t have done it without him. Gretel too – she did leave my side, to make sandwiches and take pictures and do all kinds of other stuff that I’m certain I have no idea of the breadth of, but every time a contraction hit she was right back there at my side, pushing on my back, or not, depending on my mood at the time. I’m so thankful they were a part of the day.

I’m also so glad that my Mom was able to be there. My Mom arrived on time for Griffin’s (hospital) birth, but ended up going back to our house to grab a bit of rest, as we thought it was going to be hours before Griffin arrived. Griffin surprised us all (including the second midwife who arrived in barely enough time to catch him!) and my mom missed the big moment. I’m glad she didn’t miss it this time!

Corben is, in a word, perfect. He weighed in at 8lbs, 8 oz.  He is a totally chilled out baby…very little phases him. Even when he’s hungry he gets a bit worked up, but it’s nothing like the end of the world cries that my first son had when he was a baby. The only thing he hates is being cold, and thus, being naked or anywhere even close to partially undressed. Other than that he’s eating all day, waking only once or twice in the night to feed, and generally being adorable.  We’re all very much in love!

Jenn
Proud Mama to 2 beautiful boys.  My husband and I are just a couple of folks (with a dog) who decided to leave our little apartment in downtown Toronto for greener pastures (literally!) and to start a family.  We now live on a 2 acre slice of paradise on the “Roof of Ontario” – the highest part of the province.
You can follow our adventures at www.lifeontheroof.blogspot.com

I had bloody show on Friday, and contractions in the morning. After running some errands and shipping my boys off for a pre-planned out of town trip, my contractions stopped. I slept well that night, and they picked up again on Saturday. I laid around the house all day, watching Ugly Betty (great noncommittal TV programming!), snacking, baking, and blowing up my birth tub. I liked being alone, just me and my baby. I wrote her a letter, telling her about all the good things, cloth diapers, a birth tub, nursing, big brothers, etc when she decided to come and be born. I was ready.

Around 8pm, I felt my contractions picking up in timing and somewhat in strength, but it wasn’t anything to get excited about. I timed them for about two hours, and they were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I could walk through them and stand, I mostly stood and laid down when I felt I needed to.

I posted my times to my personal journal and my birth partner took a look, gave me a call. I told her I felt OK through it all. I retreated to my bedroom where I labored from about 1030 until 1145. I rocked back and forth on my feet, knowing that gravity is my friend! They were intense contractions, but I didn’t want to call my birth partner and have her waiting around for me.

Around 1145 I realized that I said out loud ‘I can’t do this! Why did I sign up for this?!’ and of course the fbomb quite loudly after some pretty powerful contractions. I called my birth partner and said please come, and she hopped in the car straight away and drove up.

Two or three contractions after that, I was almost worried. The contractions were very powerful and strong, I had to comfort myself and remind myself to stay grounded, keep my verbalization low. I hit a high pitch cry and almost shed tears, but reminded myself again that I could do this. I didn’t watch the clock because I didn’t want to know how much time had passed.

I was working through a pretty tough contraction when I felt my water break. I realized that I was tensing my buttocks, I finally relaxed my muscles, It was an actual POP. Really loud, and fluid gushed down my legs. I was REALLY happy. I knew things would get a little better after that. The water breaking made me drop to my knees. I cupped my vagina, and knew her head was right there. There was tons of pressure. I relaxed my bottom, and felt her head slide right down. I braced my perineum, her head expanded the opening slowly, I breathed in and out slowly and made sure that I was slow and careful.

Her head totally crowned and birthed itself, I felt her little ears, and her face. She was posterior! No wonder I was having so much back labor. I felt for the cord, it was around her neck once, but very loose. With the next contraction, my body pushed her body out and onto the floor. I unwound the cord, she gave out a big shout! Like “Hey mom you said I was going to be born in a tub! Wth!”

I gave her the once over, and rejoiced in the fact I wasn’t in labor any more! I scooped her up and held her close to my body, she gurgled and grunted and yelled some more. She was completely pink! Not blue, or purple at all. She smelled wonderful, like birth.

I sat down on the floor, wiped off my hand, and gave my birth partner a call, she was IN THE DRIVEWAY!

My birth partner called me back a second later, and said that I had locked all the doors! I had to get up off the floor and unlock the back door to let her in. We settled in the living room on some chux pads, I birthed the placenta, it was LOVELY. My daughter latched on to nurse for a bit. She’s got quite the latch! A born nurser. I had my birth partner hold my dear new daughter  while I had a quick shower. I did not bleed much in the shower, a great sign.

My birth partner put us in bed and I weighed and measured my girl. My birth partner then made me a placenta smoothie. Ladies, seriously, if you have had PPD (post-partum depression) or might be prone to it, or hell, even if you’re not, I highly suggest making a placenta smoothie after birth. I could NOT taste it at all. All I tasted was strawberries and yogurt. Please please, if you can spare yourself the evils that is PPD, please eat your placenta! Its especially easy when you’re not watching someone prepare it!

My birth partner, spoon fed me the smoothie and we laughed and talked. She cleaned up the futon and mopped the hallway where I had dripped some blood when opening the door. My birth partner had me take some cramping tincture that tasted like ground up grasshoppers. Seriously, it was worse than eating placenta raw I’m sure! :lol But it does the trick. My after pains were quite strong, especially when my daughter was nursing. Did I mention she’s a pro?

My birth partner then turned off the lights in my room locked the door and left! I can’t wait to see her later today.

My daughter and I slept til about 7am, I changed her beautiful meconium diaper, it was thick and glossy. She nursed some more. I called a few east coast friends, and started sending pictures to cel phones of west coast friends. I feel amazing right now. No emotional distress, its actually been really interesting waking up alone with her, changing her diapers, walking around the house. I’m not sore. I’m starving though, so I hope someone shows up soon with some grub! I could eat a horse.

My mom and my boys are on their way back from their trip. My mom told them there is a huge surprise for them when they get home.  I haven’t named her yet, I’ve tried to have a couple conversations with her, but she keeps falling asleep. I guess a name can wait for now.

I knew that I was planning a UC (unassisted childbirth) with a friend here to encourage me, I didn’t plan on her not being here at all, but it worked out for the best. I wasn’t scared. I kept my head about me, removing the cord, making sure she was breathing, laying her on her side to spit out any yuckies.

It was such a different space when I was all alone. I was the one encouraging myself to continue, to stay focused. My body and my baby worked as the perfect team and we had a perfect birth. No one shouting, to push, no one making suggestions. It was all me and her. I cannot wait until she is old enough to hear the story of her birth and be empowered. To know that she was apart of something so magical and special that most women take for granted.

I have a DAUGHTER! a freaking daughter omg. She so cute. I can’t wait to put her in a dress!

Stats:
Born 8/02 at 1:00am
8 pounds
21.5 inches long
13 inch head

Noel
Single mother of three, graphic designer, birth and breast feeding advocate, working towards becoming a postpartum doula as a placenta encapsulation specialist. Author of the original Housepoet’s Famous Lactation Boosting Cookie Recipe.
www.noelove.com

Once I started cleaning, signs began to appear!  Bloody show?  Check.  Mucus plug? Check.  Nesting?  The baseboards looked great!

By around 11pm my contractions were about 10 minutes apart and felt like really strong menstrual cramps with a little bleeding.  I called my doula who told me that I was probably in early labor and that I should try to get some sleep because my baby was probably going to be born the next day.

I tried to lay down in bed to rest, but lying down made the contractions more intense and I couldn’t sleep through them, so I sat on the toilet for the first half of the night and later on my birthing ball and rested on against my bed while my husband slept.  I felt the contractions very strongly in my lower abdomen and upper legs.  Laying down was the worst, so I spent the entire night sitting on my birthing ball or the toilet.  I did that while listening to Hypnobabies “Easy First Stage” on repeat until about 5:30am, when I decided it was time to wake my hubby.  At that point my contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart.

Our doula arrived at 7am and at that time my contractions had slowed to about 6-7 minutes apart (my doula told me it is not uncommon for contractions to slow in the morning).  She was there while I labored by my bed.  Taking deep breaths at the beginning of the contractions and then mooing (yes, mooing) as the contraction peaked helped the best.  I vomited a couple of times but it didn’t bother me at all–I had been drinking flavored Vitamin Water, so it didn’t taste all that bad coming up.

At 10:15a my water broke with a monster contraction – it didn’t hurt (it was intense!), but I do think I sounded like some sort of animal in the woods as it passed.  At that point our doula said it was time to head to the hospital, which we did. The drive wasn’t too bad, I think I was in that “resting” period that comes before pushing.  It was a 30 minute drive to the hospital (thanks in part to Chicago traffic) and when we arrived at check-in I had decided that humming in the waiting from was the best way to deal with my post-broken water contractions.

When they checked me I was fully dilated, so they sent me up to L&D (with one of those kits on the gurney for in case I delivered in the elevator.  I began pushing as soon as I got to the room, on my hands and knees.  The doctor wanted me to turn and lay on my back (mostly because I was not positioned well on my hands and knees–I kept straightening my legs), but I still did not want to lay down, so I told him no way and my doula and the nurse helped me get into a better hands-knees position.

I pushed with each contraction that came (2 or 3) and my son was born in 15 minutes.  I was not at all prepared for what pushing would feel like, I don’t know how to describe it – overwhelming?  Otherworldly? It didn’t hurt, no ring of fire, but, wow, to feel a baby come through my pelvis.  Weird.  I felt his head, shoulders, and then his body slid out and I was done!  Incredible.

They placed his 8 pounds, 12 oz body on my belly.  It was pretty cool.  They delayed clamping his cord and I was only separated from him while they stitched my tear (he came out so fast!) but his dad held him skin-to-skin while the doctor tended to me.  My delivery was so fast that the attending physician did not make it to the room in time, and they pulled in a resident who was on his way to another delivery in to my room to catch my baby.

As I only spent 15 minutes in the hospital before delivering, my birth was completely drug free.  I even missed the antibiotics for my GBS, but the doctors weren’t concerned because baby’s delivery was so soon after my water broke.

I have to admit that I was a little nervous about delivering in the hospital, but I was really happy with the doctors and nurses who assisted me, and my doula was indispensable, my husband and I couldn’t have done it without her. (My husband was awesome, too, especially when he told the resident not to give my a cervical check–they had already determined that I was complete downstairs–my husband told him that we wanted to limit the hands in my vagina).  Also, I really liked the Hypnobabies preparation.  At the time I was convinced I wasn’t doing it “right”, but in retrospect I think it worked perfectly.

Laboring at home was key, I felt very comfortable there and suspect that if I had been at the hospital I may have been a little more on edge and progressed a little slower.  My doula said that I could have done the whole thing at home, and next time I just might!

Yay, new baby!

Danielle

On Sunday, March 1, 2009, my husband had an attack of labrynthitis (vertigo). It usually takes him several weeks to recover. Since I was already 40 weeks (or over, depending on the calculator), we knew there wasn’t going to be that much time, but I really hoped it was be at least a few days, otherwise he wasn’t going to be able to help much, if at all.

About 7:20am on March 2, I woke up to go to the washroom & felt like I was kind of damp. I stood up & gushed water all over the floor. Every step I took to the bathroom, I gushed more water. 3 labours, 3 times with my water breaking with no contractions, despite all my attempts to have it start differently. In the bathroom I quickly checked to see if I could feel any cord, since I didn’t think the baby was engaged. No sign of anything, so I figured it was fine. I put a towel between my legs, went out to the living room & called my friend, Jamie, who had offered to come to the birth, to let her know that I’d probably go into labour in the next couple days, since my water had broken. After I talked to her for a bit, I went back to bed & tried to get more sleep.

When I eventually got up, I was still leaking a little bit, but it only seemed to happen when I got up from lying down or bent over. I grabbed the fetoscope & listened for the heartbeat. It was nice & strong. I also started getting contractions around this time. They were fairly mild, I just had to pause briefly when I got one. The baby was quite active during them.They were about half an hour apart. I called Jamie again to let her know I was getting contractions, but still figured labour was a long way off, since I’d had to wait 3 days after my water broke with my second.

I spent the day mostly taking it easy; losing bits of plug all day. The contractions stayed about half an hour apart until around 10, when they started coming every 12-15 minutes. I decided to try to get some sleep. I realized it could be sooner than 3 days until labour really started, but was still hoping that I had at least another day for my husband to recover. By this point I seemed to have stopped losing plug & had a bit of blood.

I didn’t get much rest, the contractions got a lot more painful when I was lying down & started coming closer together. About 1:30am I couldn’t take it anymore. I was thinking that an epidural sounded like a lovely idea. My husband was still up, but I made him go to bed. I was still thinking it would be a long time. Getting up made the contractions hurt less, but they were still pretty painful.

Around 2:30, I couldn’t take it anymore & decided to try having a shower to see if the water helped with the contractions any. I had a waterbirth planned, the pool was all blown up, but it was in the bedroom with the sleeping kids & I really didn’t want to disturb them if I didn’t have to. So, I got in the shower. It was wonderful. Standing up was difficult, though, so I sat on the tub floor & just aimed the shower sprayer at my belly. By this point I had pretty much given up on Hypnobabies. It seemed to have helped a bit with the early contractions, but they didn’t really hurt anyway.

I stayed in the bathroom for nearly an hour. I knew the contractions were getting harder & closer together & I really wanted my waterbirth, but didn’t really want to get out. I kept hoping that hubby would wake up & come in so I could stay there while he got the pool ready, but he never did. So, I reluctantly got out of the tub, dried off & decided to try to move the pool into the living room. I wasn’t sure we’d have enough space, but was hopeful that it would fit. At this point contractions were coming about every 5 minutes, but picking up fast.

I rolled the pool out to the living room, discovered it would fit & went to grab the plastic & sheets to put under it. I woke up dh around 3:30. The thought of trying to dig out the hose & fill the pool was too overwhelming. I laid out sheets (for padding & warmth, my pool didn’t have an inflatable bottom & our floor was concrete) & put plastic over them; between contractions which were coming every 2-3 minutes by now. At some point in here (around 3:40am or so), I also called Jamie & told her the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. She said she was going to have a shower, then see if I wanted her to come up.

I thought about getting in while it was filling, but it seemed like way too much effort. When the pool was finally full (no idea how long it took, in our practice run it was 25 minutes, though) my husband encouraged me to get in. I had to go find a shirt to wear in it, since for some reason I felt really uncomfortable with the idea of being totally naked. The kids were awake by this point, not sure if it was me getting the plastic out of the bedroom, hubby getting the hose out of the closet across from the bedroom, or my moaning through the contractions that woke them, but at least it meant I could turn on the light to find a shirt. I finally found the one I was looking for & got in the pool. I think it was about 4:30am at this point, but I really wasn’t paying attention to the time anymore.

The contractions were really close together & very painful. As expected, doing the pool was about the extent of what dh was capable of doing for me with how awful he was feeling. I figured Jamie was probably on her way & just hadn’t called. Just before 5, she called to say she was on her way. I really had thought she’d be here any minute & was upset she was going to be at least 20 more minutes. H told her he thought I was in transistion. I wasn’t moaning through most of the contractions anymore, just screaming & begging dh to kill me. I was also giving deliberate little pushes on some of the contractions, just because it seemed to make them hurt a little bit less.

Ok, to be totally honest I was pushing quite hard on a couple of them. I just couldn’t handle the pain anymore. I was trying all kinds of different positions to try to get away from how much it hurt. I was really scared of a long pushing phase because I knew I couldn’t take this much pain for that long. I was also scared that I was pushing too soon since I’d only been in active labour for a few hours & I wasn’t feeling any kind of pushing urge, it just felt less painful.

I asked h to check me, since at least then I’d have some idea if pushing hard was likely to cause problems. He checked & said he couldn’t feel anything that seemed like cervix, just something jello-y feeling & possibly the head underneath. He figured the squishy thing was probably the sac. I started pushing with every contraction after he told me he didn’t feel any cervix, but I still wasn’t pushing really hard.

Sometime around here, Jamie arrived. It was about 5:20am Dh was relieved. He was starting to worry he was going to have to decide whether I needed to go to the hospital or not. In fact, just after she called, I’d told him that I was going to make her take me to the hospital as soon as she arrived because I couldn’t take it anymore.

The baby was obviously moving down.  At this point, I wasn’t even really thinking about the baby, I just wanted to get rid of that feeling. It’s horrible! So I started pushing really hard, several times each contraction. I was just concentrating on pushing & so, even though I felt it, it took me awhile to realize that I was feeling a burning sensation & a little bit longer to process what that meant.

I told everyone (the kids were watching from the hall, I think my screaming had scared them a bit, especially the youngest) that I thought I was crowning. Then I reached down to feel if I actually was. The baby’s head was partially out already, with the edges of the membranes floating in the water. What I really wanted to do at this point was to push as hard as I could to get his head out & stop the burning. I also really wanted to avoid tearing.

So, despite how much I wanted the burning to stop, I slowly pushed his head out. Push, pause, burn, push, pause, burn. After about 7 pushes, his head was out. I waited until the next contraction & gave a hard push & his shoulders came out. It almost felt like there was a ‘pop’ as they came out. I think Jamie said his arm was out even before I pushed out his shoulders, but the timing of everything is a bit fuzzy. Unlike with my second, who had just slipped out on the push after his head was out, I had to push again to get N’s body out after his shoulders.

He floated up to the surface of the pool, face down. I grabbed him out of the water & brought him to my chest, then checked to see if he was a boy or a girl. I was kind of surprised to find that he was a boy, but also relieved that labour was over. It was 5:35 am, only 4 hours from when I couldn’t handle the contractions in bed anymore, even though they had still been 10 minutes apart.

I leaned back against the side of the pool and looked down at him. He was a little blue & completely quiet, which freaked me out a bit. Then I saw him move his mouth & knew he was ok. He looked up at me, then promptly closed his eyes & went to sleep. Jamie grabbed a towel & covered him with it.

After waiting for a little, I started getting a few mild contractions and decided to try pushing again to see if the placenta was ready to come out. It took a bit more work then I was expecting & as it came out, Nick woke up & cried for the first time.

Before I’d gotten in the pool, I’d grabbed some containers for things, since I knew dh wouldn’t be able to find anything with as bad as he was feeling. He handed Jamie the bowl for the placenta, which she floated in the pool while I was pushing it out. Once it was out, it was put in the bowl.

The pool was very bloody at this point & I decided I wanted to get out. I gave N to Jamie & leaned on h to get out. Then I sat down on the couch with some towels under me & a big blanket around me & cuddled my new little guy. I tried to nurse him, but he wasn’t at all interested at this point. My older boys came over to see their new brother & h started draining the pool.

Eventually we cut the cord & confirmed something Jamie thought she’d noticed earlier; there was a knot in the cord. When I cut up the placenta to dry it for encapsulation, I took pictures of the knot. After we’d dealt with the cord, I went for a quick shower to get rinsed/warm & get dry clothes on. Jamie went home about 8:30 & h & I crashed for awhile. The kids were wide awake, so I napped on the couch with the baby while they played a game on the playstation. At some point my youngest had a nap on the floor, but my oldest stayed awake for the whole day.

I don’t know exactly how much he weighed at birth, I think he was around 6lb 6oz, maybe a bit less. 19 1/2 inches long & head circumference of 13.4 inches.

Lisa-Marie

In retrospect, I was feeling euphoric that weekend, walking outside was nice, and checking out this lizard that was crossing my path as I went to check the mail alone made me smile in this way that I knew something was up. I wasn’t going to give into it just yet, but subconsciously I knew. On Monday, August 21st, around 2 pm I was in the kitchen making some food for Aiden and myself, I felt a gush of fluid. Luckily I had on a cloth pad as I usually do because of a bout with incontinence. I went to the bathroom and peed, came back washed my hands, prepped the food some more and it happened again.

What’s up with this, I was thinking. I just kept going about my day, feeling a little crampy, nothing of note. I had already set myself up to have another 46 hour labor like I did with Aiden, so I knew that if this was indeed it, that I would have to eat and rest and not tell anyone what’s going on because I did not want anyone looking at the clock. So I just went about my afternoon, hanging out with Aiden and changing my pads. Thank goodness for my cloth pads, they rocked. The afternoon wore on and the contractions actually started picking up a bit.

I called poppy and talked to her for a little while before I called my midwife to let her know what I was thinking. I called Jill and let her know what was up, but not to get her hopes up. I was really concerned that my tub was still not here. The other midwife Nikole was supposed to delivery it the next day at our regular appointment. I just wanted to get it there now, I felt somehow that I would feel better and progress faster if the tub was there. I had no idea how true that was.

I let Shawn know what was going on since he had the day off and all.  He wasn’t instantly excited about the prospect of labor, but then again I wasn’t really either. Especially with the history that I have with long ones. But we pressed on.

We got the futon and the bed ready with plastic sheets and got the towels out and whatnot, just prepping. I did some more cleaning and whatnot…I took Aiden to the market and bought some food that I felt like eating at the time. Chicken friend steak? Really for a woman in labor. The store was pretty neat because I knew I was walking around being in labor and no one really knew. I was cool.

Nothing else exciting happened that Monday. Went to bed, contracted on and off all night long, though I did get a lot of sleep. I would wake up into a contraction and just tell myself, open open open and breath through it. I knew this was going to be long and I was alright with it.

I sent Shawn to work on Tuesday, he thought about staying home but I didn’t want him watching me all day. I tried cleaning, resting, talking on the phone a lot to poppy and other friends, trying to be as calm as I could be with Aiden.  He knew something was up and was very high energy and needy. I kept eating and drinking, stopping to deal with contractions that sometimes made me lose my breath. I was dealing, but I knew I wasn’t progressing fast but that was ok. I honestly got bored and wanted labor to pick up.

I got a call from the midwives and Nikole was coming to bring the tub around 2pm….I called Shawn around noon and asked him to come home. I felt like I needed him here, and we needed to move the table for the tub. Nikole talked to me about taking some homeopathic crap to ’get my labor going’ which I was not going to do. I didn’t want to take/do anything unnatural to this labor. Nipple stimulation, fine, spicy food, fine, kissing, walking, squatting great. But nothing extra.

I talked to Jill again later that day and she was going to come by at 4:45 to listen to the baby’s heartbeat and just see how I was doing, she too talked about augmenting the labor and the risk of infection. I know that as long as I’m not putting anything up in my vagina, I’m going to be alright. She stated that she would fully support any decision that I made and she had to just give me the information. Which is true, an educated decision is much better than a stubborn ’i want my own way’ one. Jill suggested that I take some echinacea and 1000mg of vit c to help prevent infection. Fine with me. I’ve taken all that before and it wasn’t a big deal.

Shawn came home and it was so nice to have him here. We cleaned up some more and were waiting for Nikole. We wanted to take a long long walk and do some curb walking too, which our birth instructor said is great for moving baby around and getting labor progressing nicely. Curb walking is walking with one foot in the gutter and one on the sidewalk. It looks funny, feels weird but I know it helps.

Nikole calls at about 330 and says she’s running late, and that it will be another hour and a half or so. We decide that we’re just going to go for our walk and get out of the house, and she’ll call when she gets closer. My mom also called and wanted to stop by, at this time, she didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t sure if we were going to tell her just yet. She was going to bring by some papaya, some vit c and the ech.

So we walk and walk and walk, over to the park. Talking about weather or not we’re going to tell my mom if I am in labor, talking baby names, chit chat. I’m not having any serious contractions, nothing to make me stop, so I’m thinking that I’m just chilling out. We get to the park and we’re talking about names and we ask Aiden:

Aiden what should the baby be named?
(he pauses seriously thinking for a second)
umm….PICKETT!

No really, he said that. We laughed so hard that I had a contraction right then and there. HA. We get the call from my mom that she’s on her way, so we started heading back. We’re on the sidewalk when all of a sudden I feel a HUGE gush of fluid. You know how women are always worried that their water will break in public?  Yeah, well it happened to me. Just a huge gush of fluid and my cloth pad caught almost all of it. We get back to the house and I went ahead and told my mom what was happening, and asked if she could please come and get Aiden if I needed her to in the middle of the night. She was happy to do so. She leaves.

Nikole calls again and her car has broken down, and she’d like to know if Shawn can meet her at the service station to get the tub. Just then, Jill shows up and we have our talk about antibiotics and augmentation and whatnot. I tell her I really don’t want to do anything at this point, she listens and understands. She wants to do a Clindamycin dose every 8 hours for as long as I am in labor. This is also because I didn’t take a GBS test so she doesn’t know whats up with that. She’s not worried she just wants to be sure. She said that she knew this baby was fine and she trusted in my body to do what it needed to do. I agreed. I asked her to come back around 9ish and we’d talk again and see if I progressed any. She listened to the baby who had some great acceleration’s during my contractions, he sounded wonderful she said. She was kind enough to bring a doppler with headphones so I didn’t have to hear that canned heartbeat sound.

Jill calls Nikole to see what is going on and she tells Jill that she got a ride and is on her way to my house at that moment to set up the tub. Nikole shows up, sets up the tub and leaves. I get in the shower, and nice hot one, and let the water hit my back where I was having a lot of pain. Another concern of mine was that this baby was post. like Aiden was, and that labor was forever. I didn’t want that to happen again.  I did some nipple stimulation and had some killer contractions in the shower. I was moaning and it was really powerful.

I got out of the shower, dressed, and laid down with Aiden, this was probably around 7:30ish. I had another awesome contraction while laying down with Aiden. He fell asleep and that was the last I would see of him for the night. Shawn heated me up some miso soup that I had made. It was so amazing and good. Gave me energy again.

I was laboring well. It felt good. I just had on my sports bra and I leaned on my ball and Shawn put pressure on my back, pressed my hips together and I feel like that helped move the baby down a little. He kept telling me I was doing a great job and to keep it up. He said I was strong and soon we’d have our baby in our arms.

The lights were low, the music was on and it was just the two of us. Shawn was really great about getting up and coming to me when I started a contraction. I felt like I was actually making progress. I had made up in my mind at that time that I would go ahead and let Jill give me the antibiotics. Not because she wanted to but I wanted to stay the hell home. This way, I would be able to stay home for another four days if my labor was going to take that long. I would also be able to get checked out for my own peace of mind and know how much longer I would have to go. I was at peace with my decision. The contractions were long and close together but not as painful as the ones I had with Aiden which had breaks, but were stronger because of the pitocin. I was handling it really well. But they were GOOD and STRONG.

Jill showed up around 945ish, walks in the door, sees the scene and says ’this is great!’ She knew from all her years of experience that I was moving along. She asks if she can check my dilation because if I am moving along, then we’ll just skip the anti-bs all together. She checks me and says I’m 4-5cm and very stretchy, that she could stretch me to 7. I was so happy to hear that. No antibiotics. She starts setting up and I just keep laboring. This is 10pm.

I am ROCKING with contractions. They are hard and I’m feeling a lot of pressure on my perineum. I’m walking around the house, leaning on the ball, which is on the futon, so I just stand behind it and lean on it. Standing was the best thing ever, it was so hard to do, but I KNEW I had to do it to get this baby to come.

They really aren’t letting up, but it’s not like I am feeling out of control either while having them. I’m telling the baby that its ok to come out, and we’re all waiting for them. We have a cute shirt for them to wear. haha. Just positive energy and thoughts going to this baby to come out and positive thoughts to my body to open up. Just ooooooppppppeeeeeeennnnnnnn.

Jill calls the other midwife Mary, who I had not met before to come now. I joke with her that the first time I’m going to be meeting Mary, I’ll be half naked writhing around in pain on my futon. We all had a good laugh at that one. I’m still feeling some amazing contractions, and Mary shows up in the middle of one of them. Shawn comes over to rub my back some more and I look up at Jill and say ’I can’t do this any more and don’t tell me I’m in transition’. She laughs, Mary laughs too, and they both say, ’yes you are!’ It’s 10:45pm.

I laugh at them and say ya right. Another contraction hits, it’s good. Jill just says to go with the flow, where ever I want to be just be, if I want to squat, then do so. I just held on to the chair in the living room and braced myself for the contractions. Jill checks me again and I’m fully dilated to 10cm. No really. I couldn’t believe it myself. No one could. Well Jill and Mary could because they’ve been doing this for so long.

I said I want to get in the tub. Then another one hits, and I just stand there. I said it again, and it was really my only time to do it and Mary says to me, ok Noel get in the tub. I walk over get down on my hands and knees into the nice warm water. It wasn’t as much relief as I thought it would be at that far in labor, but I knew I wanted to be there to protect my perineum. Shawn was at my side, giving me encouragement all the way. Holding my hand and keeping me focused on low grunts.

I tried to sit on my butt and that was just not fun, so I got up on my knees again and held on to the side of the tub. Jill told me to reach down and feel for my baby’s head. I was scared. I didn’t want to, but I did. I could feel Mary’s hands on my perineum and I said, “Mary that doesn’t feel good!’ Which is funny at that time, I laughed even. That brought on another good contraction.

I reached down with my right hand and inserted a finger and couldn’t feel the baby’s head. I brought my hand out again, and just held Shawn hand with my left. I was really rocking and grunting and yelling. I was surprised that I didn’t wake Aiden.

I had another urge to push, I felt it deep inside me, Jill told me to feel again, and this time I could feel the head. It gave me so much encouragement. I told Shawn ’I feel the head! I feel the head!!’ He was so happy, I think that he was still in shock that I was already pushing.

I kept my right hand on my vagina and felt my baby’s head coming out. Shawn just held my left hand and rubbed my back giving me encouragement the whole time. Jill was saying encouraging words, and Mary was too.

I just let my body do the work. Mary and Jill were saying push, but it’s not like I was pushing when they told me to, my body pushed when it wanted to. I did however grunt and blow when Jill and Mary said to. I knew that they were there to help me keep my perineum intact. That was my goal as well and was happy to take blow grunt orders.

I felt my baby’s head crown into my hand. It was the ring of fire, but not as BAD as I thought it would be. I was scared. Terrified of this awesome power that I had within me. Birth is so insanely amazing, and to feel this power for the first time was unbelievable. I let someone else take my power with Aiden’s birth, and this time I was feeling it full force with my everything.

With one little grunt my baby’s head was born, I felt his head outside of my body. Its like nothing I can put into words. Then I pushed every so slightly, really a grunt again and his whole body slipped out, I felt his shoulders, then his stomach, then his hips, knees and finally his little feet leave my body. The midwives, handed him to me through my legs and I sat back and pulled him up out of the water.

He screamed at me, and pinked up.  I watched him pink up before my eyes. Jill and Mary just stood back and let Shawn and I enjoy the moment. It was amazing. Shawn was crying and saying ’I knew you could do it Noel!’ He was beautiful, and I was so in awe of the power that I felt. I just sat in the water admiring my baby, kissing Shawn and the baby. I fingered the umbilical cord, it was so cool feeling. I touched my baby’s head, his body, kept him in the warm water. Then I said, lets take a look! I looked between his legs and made the call….it’s a boy! Shawn was so happy!

I then wanted to get out of the tub, I was very ready. Shawn helped me stand up, and Jill helped me over the tub wall, and put a blanket on the baby, and a hat on his head. We walked over to the futon where chux pads were laid out and I got to RECLINE ON MY BACK! You have no idea how long I had been waiting to do that, well….9 months I’d say. Haha. It felt so good to have Shawn next to me, and my baby all wet and warm on my chest, reclining on the futon. I was handed a chocolate dipped strawberry, which is what I had been waiting for after birth my whole pregnancy. Shawn passed them around to our midwives as well, they both said it was the best they’d ever had.

Just then I head the familiar cry of another little one, and out came Aiden from the bedroom. He was a little startled at first with a new person in the house, Mary, not the his brother. So it took a little coaxing to get him out in the living room. He climbed on the futon with me and just looked at his little brother. He was in shock too and smiling and amazed. I laid there for a little while and then felt the pain of a contraction again. I birthed the placenta and it was lovely. I felt whole, it was placed in a bowl next to me and it got to chill out on the futon with us for a while.

Baby was making sounds and Aiden thought it was really cool. I made a couple calls to friends and my mom to let them know our little one was here. Jill assessed me and thought that I had a small tear that would require two stitches. I was not in the mood for stitches, so I asked her to check again. I handed our son off to Shawn and let Jill and Mary take a look. They both informed me that I could have stitches if I wanted to, or I could let it heal naturally, meaning lots of sitz baths and keeping my knees together for the next week or so. I opted to be a hairy arm pit hippy and forgo the stitches. *Crunch*

I got up and went to the bathroom and put on my cool mesh underwear and a sposie pad, man that thing sucked. I got into bed with a little help and Jill did the newborn exam right on the bed with Shawn and Aiden right there with us. No nurses bothering us, no hospital lights, no poking, sticking, drawing of blood, nothing. She just ran her hands along his body and checked him out. She dressed him in his cool hand dyed shirt and cloth diaper, remarking to Mary that it was so nice to be putting a newborn in cloth and not a sposie. I beamed. My little one was all decked out and ready to settle down for the night. I too was feeling tired.

Shawn brought us some peanut butter toast which was so good, and I had a big glass of water. The midwives left, and I feel alseep with my boys, in my own bed, in my own home, with no beeping, blinking lights, or thoughts of a nurse coming to take my freaking blood pressure in a half hour.

I have a lot of friends on the Internet, women that I will probably never meet in real life, but I feel like I have a connection to them through our words. Words have always been a powerful medium to me for many years. The phone calls, emails and journal entries that I’ve received and read over the past nine months, if not longer have helped me have the birth I had. I did this in honor of the women who have taught me through their own births, words, links, phone calls, what birth is about. I birth in honor of Tina, Jenne, Shanna, Lorrie, Morgan, Poppy, and all the women I call friends. I birthed in honor of you guys, because I know you were with me on this journey. I know you thought of me, prayed for me, sent good thoughts my way. You kept me strong. I know it. We all did this together. And when/if you ever have babies again, know that I too will be sending love, and strength your way as you all have done for me. I believe in you like you believed in me to birth this baby.

I feel whole today. I feel like a complete woman. I feel powerful. I want every woman to not be afraid of birth and the power of birth. We all posses it and we should guard it with our lives. It is so important

Stats:
Born 8/22 at 11:17pm
in water
7 pounds 4 ounces
21.5 inches long
13.5 inch head

Noel
Single mother of three, graphic designer, birth and breast feeding advocate, working towards becoming a postpartum doula as a placenta encapsulation specialist. Author of the original Housepoet’s Famous Lactation Boosting Cookie Recipe.
www.noelove.com