Natural Working Mama

The internal struggle of concious parenting.

2012-02-11T23:09:00.000-08:00

Parenting is difficult no matter what. Anyone out there find it easy? Now add to that a lifestyle a bit off from the norm and a lack of community.
Where does that leave you? Banging your head against the wall? Sobbing over your chamomile tea? Binge eating kale chips?

Today was an incredibly hard day. I am extremely sensitive. On top of my own emotions I am really good at picking up others and carrying them around for awhile. Now that is something I can take off my plate! It is not always easy to get back to center when I am in this space. I guess I would rather just avoid it and am being counter productive by just wishing it away.
And there is the answer! Instead of running away, I think it is time to delve in, live in it a bit and clear it out.
So let's get it all on the table. I am exhausted from trying to make things work.
Second clue - I am trying to make things work instead of allowing them to happen.
I am afraid that we cannot make ends meet and I am frustrated by instability.
Well. I am well aware that when I am relaxed and trust that things will work out I am FINE.
Yes - self - believe it. It is true! Self - the more you live in that trust - the more stability you have!
And you say - exhausted? Go to bed.
Processing out loud really works!

Mama Conflicted

2011-10-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Deep in play.

Today was one of those interesting days that you don't quite see coming and leave you totally confused. Just when I had come accustomed to being a homeschooling Mom, just when I am amazed at how our rhythm is forming and our children settling in - I get a call to go back to work. But on my terms. Remotely. Left me totally confused. On the one side it would definitely interrupt our day and make homeschooling difficult but it might bring balance to our family overall and a boost in finances. Plus I wouldn't be starting over, I would working with my existing client base. Could I do this calmy and without stress? Can I gain control of my schedule? Tune in tomorrow...

Oolala!

2011-10-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

This Mam was about to loose it seriously. I have been nonstop with the little guys, add in a trip to a road trip to NY - me and them for a month, and normal (ok an extraordinary amount of stress) and I was destroyed. Heart flutters. A lot of saying, "yes, I am fine - oh just ignore my eye twitching uncontrollably!"
I was coming undone. But I decided to take charge and went to the Korean Spa. If you don't know about them, I will sum it up in 3 ( ok 7) words - Cheap, Awesome, You Can Take A Nap.
Every Mom's Fantasy.
There is a lot of guilt that came with the decision to go, however sometimes we need to take care of ourselves. That means you Mama!
You lucky NYC'ers have the ultra amazing Spa Castle. But Jeju is just as good.
Run. Don't walk. Remember - we can nurture, if we don't nurture ourselves!

Trying to be everything to everyone.

2011-09-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Wow. Today I was ready for the day to come to a close and my children to go to sleep.
My older son is fighting sleep - so I actually gave up trying to get him to sleep and left him to his own devices (the next room.) Since he was an infant he has had sleep issues and if we don't parent him to sleep the more likely he is to wake up. But our little one is teething and I need some me time!

We just started homeschooling after our month long trip - 2 weeks in NYC, and two weeks in transit.

It was mainly just me and the kids! What a learning experience. I have been home with them for a year now - making work a much lower priority, and there we were back in the city, needing to put work first.
It felt completely out of sync. I enjoy a healthy work life, but where will my path take me next?

Since we are homeschooling there isn't a whole lot of time for anything else.

Waldorf kindergarten is focused on rhythm, and it is my utmost goal to get it together. It is definitely a big challenge for us. We do have a rhythm - but schedule is a whole other can of worms. Not to mention my husband's work schedule is complicated! And that throws a wrench in.

Looking forward to looking back two months from now!

Babies.

2011-09-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

I just returned from an adventure with my two boys (more on that later.) But today my heart is thinking babies. A gentle heartstring tug. I feel pretty complete - but as I looked at Facebook, I saw a friend's page. And I thought of the intense pain ( I had a homebirth) and the intense beauty. For me the fear and memory is only just beginning to fade, but isn't it amazing how it does. And you hold on to just the beauty. It is truly a miracle. It is also ridiculous that there are places that are illegal to have a homebirth. Like Georgia. Really?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFLzxdZG30Q&feature=share

I won! I won!

2011-09-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

Lucky me! I actually won a ticket to the Holistic Moms Natural Living Conference. Now I just need to get there! I have until Saturday October 1st to make it to Irvine or maybe this ticket will be gifted along.
I am thrilled!

Washed Away...

2011-09-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today I send my thoughts to friends - known and unknown, living in Vermont and elsewhere who as of now have lost everything. I hold space for you to rebuild. I send love and strength and I send support as you travel through this mourning process.

Wooden Toy Bonanza!

2011-09-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

Okay - maybe not a bonanza, but how about big discounts? Magic Cabin is offering 20% off their wooden toys. Wooden toys are expensive but definitely worth it. They offer a lot of great stuff, but what I am most excited about is the set of Tegu Blocks. I had the pleasure of playing with them while visiting friends. They truly combine two of my favorite play items - magnets and wood. The sale also includes the extremely popular Skuut Bike and Plan City toys (we love the crane!) And the list goes on. Check out the sight, you really you can't go wrong. Enter code MCNAT2.

Tree Fort - Love it - Endless hours of play!

Thumbs Up - Ouch!

2011-08-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

So on Thursday, I woke up with a toe the size of a golf ball. I definitely felt off, to say the least. I quickly went through my head of what natural remedy was my best option. After several minutes - I came to the conclusion that I needed to go to the doctor. What you say? Hey - that's what I said too! But this thing seemed super angry. Hmm doctor. Well where do I find one? Do I call the pediatrician who we rarely see? We are new to the state, but even in NY - did I have a doctor? Hmm. I had a chiropractor, acupuncturist/cranial sacral therapist, classical homeopath, reiki master, homebirth midwife, and gynecological physical therapist. I did have an anthroposophical extended medical doctor and technically he is a doctor, but he prescribes homeopathic remedies - there have definitely been no antibiotics in my system since 2001.
So I called the only integrative Doctor I have heard of in the area. Voicemail. Waiting list (3-4 years!) Well that isn't going to work! Meanwhile toe is getting large, which is of course an invitation for both my children to continuously step on it. So a friend of a friend recommended Highland Urgent Care - and it was great! Office is shared with an acupuncturist (open minded) and I was in and out within 45 minutes. They also thought my kids were cute, even though my little one poured water all over the floor as he made "ice cream" from the water cooler.
I left with not one but two prescription antibiotics (really???), and my toe is finally starting to shrink. However, my NY self is totally secretly judging my new Southern self for actually going to a doctor. This Thursday I go back to have part of the nail removed. This should be interesting! At least I will be too busy focusing on my kids climbing the walls to notice the pain!
Next week will also be our trip to the doctor for the kids. Here I am a super health radical, in NY I was so not. True many people here choose not toy vaccinate for religious reason, but the pressure is great. I wish I just had a doctor I could call and trust and wouldn't think I was crazy. If I was in CA, I would run to the Holistic Mom's Natural Living Conference on Octobe 1st, 2011 at the Irvine Marriott 18000 Von Karman Avenue Irvine, CA 92512 to hear Lauren Feder, the pediatrician AND homeopath speak about vaccinations and making an informed choice.With the close of Mothering magazine, our access to healthy and holistic parenting information is limited. The exhibit hall should be pretty great as well. So if you are I'm CA or plan to be take the time and go to the conference for me! Saturday, October 1st, 2011. You can find more information here. Bring on the online Auction! Woohoo!

Things I am thinking about today - buying Stockmar Watercolors for our Waldorf homeschool. Organizing! And woolies -ahh so warm. Is that a weird thought when it is blisteringly hot outside?

By the way...Aren't you glad I posted this cute picture of my kid, instead of an ugly picture of my toe!

Fire Ants - OH NO!

2011-07-29T19:33:00.000-07:00

So I have come to the ultimate conclusion, that I have to eradicate the Fire Ant nest. I guess my pacifism can only go so far? My older son was bit earlier today, and my younger son has had a severe allergic reaction we suspect from an insect bite. The yard is large. I do not really want them just moving a few yards away. What to do?!
This much is true - they must go. I will take another trip over to Farmer D's and maybe try out Mosquito Barrier if I can find it.
Feeling good that I got my tomatoes transplanted into our new garden. Planted some cucumbers, beans, and rainbow chard. They are just peeking through the earth. Let's hope they thrive. This is my first foray into growing vegetables from seed. Woohoo! N, is so happy to see the rainbow chard turn pink :).

Yellow Jackets safely removed!

2011-07-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

This week was exciting for many reasons, but the number one highlight for my family this week was a visit from a Georgia Tech professor, named Michael Goodisman. We have been doing our best not to kill insects in our home (mosquitos are still another story!) by keeping the house quite clean and taking all unwanted visitors outside. I am getting quite good at capturing flies. Even the baby is running around with a plastic container, saying "mama, fly!"This made the discovery of the yellow jacket nest in my garden heart wrenching. I knew they had to go, but my options were limited. All of them would result in the destruction of the nest. I spent one week trying to come up with the most green/ sustainable option, since they were in my garden but all of them still left me with a fear of being chased by angry yellow jackets.
I searched the internet for days hoping to find an answer and low behold - it showed up in the form of an article written in 2008 by a professor who studies the social behavior of yellow jackets. I unfortunately missed the excitement, but my husband and sons witnessed quite a show! They put the hive to sleep with ether and using a shovel removed the nest. They showed my family the queen and the grubs and the workers. And now my yellow jackets are living, in a lab, perhaps, but not eradicated and serving a purpose.
Here is a video about the Goodisman team and yellow jackets.
If you would like more information, go here.

It's not fair.

2011-07-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

I am taking my Mom hat off for just a moment. Some days it is hard to remember the me that existed prior to my Waldorf media free existence. So the kids are finally asleep, and, yes I am listening to completely child inappropriate music. I am impressed at how many times people use the F word. Ah ha - but I used it more! Amazing how you can completely change your environment, and persona but still be true to yourself in such a short time. And even more how the concept of who you are, before you are there can be so different.
I don't even complain about things being unfair anymore, instead I am constantly weighing out fairness for my children...give yourself a chuckle...watch this.
I am going to throw on my jumpsuit and pretend I am 23 again.

Happiness is a tumbling composter.

2011-07-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

I am trying to be green. Every day. But I can fully disclose that having moved as much as we have, there are have been many moments when there was not enough time to recycle, reuse and repurpose. But today is a red letter day. Today we officially started composting. I have tried before, but always just ended up with a freezer full of food scraps. The open outdoor bins were never my style, since I have often lived in areas near water and am afraid of rats. My indoor bins just smelled. I thought about a worm factory and fantasized about the Nature Mill. I do have to admit that although I can be brave I can totally wimp out when it comes to "ickiness." But I have started my weeding out my garden and I cannot wait for three months to pass and actually have compost to add to my soil! While weeding I got stung by a yellow jacket, which led me to discover a large nest in ground at the edge of my garden. We have been taking great strides not to kill the insects in our house, and instead take them out. It caused me great stress to think that I might have to destroy the hive. But low and behold, after a little research I discovered that a Georgia Tech professor will come to my home and remove the hive so that they can study their social interaction. hen I went and killed some flies at my Mom's house. Felt bad, but we were totally outnumbered. Promise you flies, if you use restraint coming into the house I will use restraint with my Mom's flyswatter!

Rain, Rain...don't go away...

2011-07-14T20:21:00.001-07:00

Oh the wonderful sound of rain as it pitter patters on our roof. When we lived in Piermont we had huge beautiful skylights under which we spent countless hours watching, birds and planes and the rain. Ahh. Why is it that we don't fully live in these happy moments? Why do we focus so often on the stressors, instead of letting go?This is my ultimate goal. To just let go and fully enjoy. Truly enjoy my children. I did have a lovely moment just now. My little one woke up and I nursed him back down, his small hand on my chest.
Tomorrow is a big day for us. I found a tumbling composter on craigslist. The person is really nice and is basically giving it to me. Which is lucky for us since we haven't really had the available finances to but a new one. But for me this means so many things. First we are reducing our footprint, but secondly I am officially gardening, which brings me directly to the idea that we may be here awhile. I am so tired of moving...

July is National Blueberry Month. WOOHOO!

2011-07-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

Guess What? This picture reminds me of BLUEBERRIES!

Yeah. This makes me really happy. I have a vivid memory of picking them at a family friend's house on Long Island, and then translated that experience into Blueberries for Sal, a scene from The Boxcar Children - blueberries and cream - yum! Of course, Violet Beauregard turning into a giant blueberry in Road Dahl's Charlie and The Chocolate Factory sealed the deal. But really what's not to love about blueberries?! So here are some quick ideas for Mamas on the move, who like me are looking for something EASY PEASIE, kid friendly and interactive. Blueberry Mint Lemonade - tahCha Tea House makes a really yummy version by the way. I have a hard time following recipes - so I suggest you too just go with the flow and experiment - you cannot mess this one up. Oh, unless you leave a metal spoon in the blender and turn it on. Then you are just out of luck :(. Don't do it!

Blueberry Mint Frozen Lemonade - what you need
A bag of Lemons (sometimes I get fancy and add limes!)
Agave to taste
A few sprigs of mint
Two handfuls of fresh blueberries
Ice

So here is what I do -
I juice about 6 lemons. My juicing secret - cut the lemon in half (obviously :)) then take a fork and as you are squeezing the lemon move the fork back and forth. Don't be afraid take some of that frustration you have from two kids whining out on it - you will feel a hell of a lot better!!!
Make sure you get the seeds out. I usually pick them out first. If it looks a little spare I will do a few more. I like to juice the lemons and save any extra I have. I add filtered water at a 2:1 ratio. Sometimes a bit more depending on taste.
Then I add the Agave. Remember it is much sweeter than sugar, so add a little at a time and taste. But also keep in mind you will be blending it with ice, so you will be diluting it a bit.
Put the ice in the blender, add the blueberries and mint and pour your lemonade mixture over the ice.
Put the cover on the blender ;)!
I put the blender on the highest setting (usually liquefy) and let the kids push the pulse button. Voilà!
P.S. I tastes better through a straw.
Looking for a place to pick in the Atlanta Metro Area?
In Woodstock try - Berry Patch Farms - pesticide free! 786 Arnold Mill Road
Woodstock, GA 30188
In Canton try - The Berry Barn - an organic farm... Apparently you need an appointment to pick.
1310 North Lake Drive, Canton, GA. Phone: 770-343-9940.
I'm going NOW!!!!

ooh! it's hot! and it has been a long time!

2011-07-03T20:29:00.000-07:00

Okay. So no matter how hot that NYC pavement got, it can't compare to the scorching Southern heat. Last year this family was poo-poo'ing air conditioning. This year it is an entirely different story. In New York we lived outside in the summer, here we actually have to find a few more indoor activities. Or move to the beach. Move - that word just sent shivers down the spines of my family as they sleep. No worries guys! I am only talking about a vacation! A vacation that could be very unlikely!

In the news as well (Family News, that is!) I have started to work again. A HUGE deal!

Summer Starts to Bloom

2011-05-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

Our lives have been very full as of late. Not leaving much time for writing. In two months we will hit our 1 year anniversary of the big move. So many changes. But then life is always changing, always evolving. I am thankful for having the opportunity to be with my boys. To be the primary caregiver. I longed for it with all my being and I can honestly say, that a year ago it did not seem like I would ever be here. I would cry when others talked about being home with their children, as I clocked in a 15 hour day. Now I am there when they wake, when they sleep. When they fall, when they succeed.
I have become a much better role model, by finding my boundaries and owning myself. Every day is a work in progress, but it is getting there.

Things that really solidified this week -
Daily Rhythm helps make my children more flexible.
I can forgive myself and my children if we fall off the rhythm band wagon.
Dinner on the table by 5:30pm works best.
If I do not explain proper behavior to my children, how can I expect them to behave properly.
The only way to really get your kids to listen, is to get down and look them in the eye.
20 minutes of joining in the fun can satisfy them for most of the day.
It doesn't matter what others think, what is most important is what we value as a familyand creating our own family container.
I can let go.
The best way for positive things to come into being quickly, is to let go.
What makes us complete is accepting all of our nature. As a mother we must also enjoy and be open to our sexuality. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Open and Receive.

May I continue to wake up every morning, striving to be better. Open and expanding like a flower.

The best you can do.

2011-05-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

We all strive for perfection. Okay well at least most of the people I know. And the majority of us beat ourselves up for not achieving this so called perfection. I know. I have lived my life trying to be some kind of perfect I can't even describe. It is wonderful to want to be our best selves. But life is certainly a workout. Every day we wake up and have a chance to start again. Isn't that beautiful? No matter how hard your day may be, you have the chance to go to sleep and wake up and try again.
My life may be intense, but I don't wake up feeling like something is missing. Bedtime tends to be difficult. I want the boys in bed by 8pm, because at 8:30pm I turn into a pumpkin. Really. Or maybe just a really cranky Mommy. And each day I try again. It kills me that bedtime is not peaceful. But I am working on it. Last year my son's teacher gave me some wonderful advice, "you can only do the best you can do." Stop judging. Just do. All I can do is set the intention and do my best. Maybe the outcome does not fit into my picture or someone else's. There is always an opportunity to learn and we have the freedom to choose to work towards being better. And even more importantly to let go of our illusion of perfection and just do the best you can.
I am learning how important it is to take risks, especially as a parent. I need to risk my children being angry with me. I need to speak my truth and set boundaries, so they will do the same.
In terms of taking risks, children really need room to explore. Waldorf Education teaches young children to use needles to sew and knives to carve. They light matches. Inuits give small children knives. As fearful as I may be I have tried to explore expanding our safety boundaries in order to teach my children responsibility.
I thought this talk by Gever Tulley from TED was really interesting...Playing with controlled fire, helping you do the best you can do!

Calm amid the Chaos

2011-05-01T13:18:00.000-07:00

This past week was especially challenging. Maybe it was Mercury Retrograde coming to an end. Maybe it is just the universe, but on any levels it was complex and at times frightening. Personally we had communication failure, and some health scares. Meanwhile tornadoes ripped across the earth. At the same time we (my family) had synchronises that were mind blowing. Which means that at the same time that things were whipping out of control they were safely circling in. With children, the best gift you can give them is a sense of safety. The same goes for ourselves. As much as we may not ant to admit it, there will be a time for pain, challenge, frustration, but if we can greet these difficulties with anticipation of learning they may be a bit easier for us to handle. For in the end our strength of character is in how we handle the most painful of circumstances.

Other things I am thinking about today...
My favorite astrology website - http://planetwaves.net/
My favorite bug repellent of the moment - Geranium Oil. Thanks to a friend's suggestion, I mix this oil with an unscented lotion and apply liberally. It works and smells good!

Are you there Universe? It's me, Mama.

2011-04-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

Alternate titles for this post that made me chuckle...Are you there Universe? It's me God. AND All I ever needed to know about life I learned from Judy Blume.
Wouldn't that be simple?
Today ended as one of THOSE days. It was actually quite a lovely day until the end when my patience malfunctioned. I am not talking about the patience you have with children. I am talking on a grand scale - patience with the way life moves. I know in a very deep way that we are the masters of our destiny. That by holding on to our higher truths with compassion the beauty in our life is limitless. And lastly that what we put out is what comes back to us. So I do my best to always resonate out positive action.
I understand I need to be patient and it is all about divine timing in all. But really. Can we hurry the hell up?
Aah. I feel much better.
One other thing to get off my chest...
It really, really irks me when my son's name is pronounced incorrectly. I am not talking about a mispronunciation at the pharmacy. I am talking about people knowingly disregarding requests and just calling him a name that is not his.
Ahh. Even better :).
To whoever took/ found/ kept my cell phone, hope you are enjoying the 850 pictures of my kids. To AT&T - I have given you too much. Start living up to your end of the bargain.
Wow. I am totally refreshed!
Some food for thought. Tiny Houses.

It does feel so much better to speak your truth.

Home Sweet Cul-de-Sac

2011-04-23T01:06:00.000-07:00

Let me share with you the joy of living on a cul-de-sac. This is the first one I have lived on, and I must admit - with my head hung low, that I secretly judged people who touted their amazing benefits. I certainly thought it was not in my future. But low and behold here I am - and it is GREAT! So sorry y'all (oh god - we will need to address this one later.) Just goes to show - never say never. I am never going to win Powerball. Um, yeah, we might have to address that one too.

Anyway...

Having a relatively enclosed circle of cement to call your own, is really a heaven like no other. First of all; if your children are as gregarious as mine, and would talk to a wall, it is only a matter of minutes before others hear the call and want to join. This has resulted in a gaggle of "friends and relations."

Our driveway has become a hotbed of afternoon activity. I am proud to say that we are now the parents of a training wheel free bike rider. AND, there was no holding on to the back of bike trying to keep it balanced (while nursing a HUGE toddler.) I got to enjoy this fantastic feat while sitting in my driveway drinking a cocktail. Actually there wasn't a cocktail, but that is what living on a cul-de-sac feels like!
You see when 8 children are riding bikes, scooters, big wheels, skates, etc. they are completely entertaining themselves...and my toddler. For hours. And hours. Outdoors.
Do not get me wrong I have gained absolutely no computer, phone, work, or extreme leisure time. I can assure you that if I was to break out an electronic device this moment of heaven would disappear instantly. But for extended moments of the day I am not a soda fountain with free refills.
Here is something I was shocked to find out...some people have a severe aversion to finding children's chalk drawings in their driveway. Who knew? You would think they just wrote over their forehead with a sharpie. And no, I am not sending my kid to other people's driveways to draw. In fact, in one instance it was a parent who did the drawing. One word folks - rain. And a whole sentence - try parking yourself in the driveway with a box a sidewalk chalk. You will find it extremely refreshing.
One last thing ... GO! CUL-DE-SAC! GO!

Moving Forward with Purpose

2011-04-16T21:12:00.000-07:00

It has been a year since the huge shift in my life began. The venue I worked for closed. I started various projects that got delayed. And I started working for my older son's school.
Since the birth of number 2 things had felt different. In the last month of pregnancy I bought a necklace from an amazing jeweler Olivia Olkowski. Her line is oh!olivia. I have owned several pieces. They always called to me from the case at the Meta Center where I had acupuncture with the amazing Pipper Armel. Each piece I found at the right time, and when I picked them up I was always surprised to find out that the stone corresponded exactly to the experiences I was having at that time.
This amazing piece has an oblong Chalcedony Drusy stone and a chain of small rubies. It is stunning. There were several important things she told me about the stone, when I put it on - but the phrase that stuck was "life's purpose."
In my heart I knew with this new baby, I would need to make a big shift in my life, a big shift in my consciousness. I wore that necklace as my contractions began and didn't take it off for months. And sure enough during that time my path started to lead me on a new journey. I was yearning to be with my family, but I was loyal to work and kept pushing. My body did not agree and forced me to slow down. Then the venue closed. Then my new projects inched along. I replaced a woman who was going on maternity leave, she spoke constantly of the time she would spend with her new baby and inside I cried for the time I was not spending with my boys. it seemed everywhere I turned that sentiment played over and over, each time striking me a bit harder and a little lower. I needed to be with my children.
At first I had the excuse of my job and income to keep me away, but things had slowed down. I was faced with either diving back in or making a change. My mother visited, she gave her usual "move closer to us. My initial reaction was "no way!" Leave my friends? My life? My network? My opportunities? But I wanted to see my Mom more. She had health challenges in the past and it always really hurt that they were not so willing to come visit us in NY. It also made me so sad to see how much she yearned to have us closer.
My husband is brilliant. His words were "money comes and goes, but you never get the time back."
So that was it. We jumped off the cliff. There were tears in my eyes when I told my Mom our decision the next morning. I think those tears have been forever misinterpreted. We didn't make a decision because we had no other options. There were plenty. We made the conscious decision to work towards strengthening our family. Those tears were for what we would leave behind, most everything - our friends, our life. The excuse we gave everyone was financial, and things were hard but the real truth was that we needed to look at our family and strengthen our foundation.
Now we are here. We have learned so much. Maybe we will stay. Maybe we will return to NY. But regardless of what may come, I know with every inch of my being that I /we are truly moving forward with purpose.

Can I really have waited this long to post?!

2011-04-13T11:25:00.000-07:00

I was afraid when I started this blog that I would fall of the writing wagon. And alas, I did. But I am picking myself right back up and trying again! A lot has happened since my last post. Quite a roller coaster in fact. Quite a bit of big life questions. What is it that we want? Where are we going? Where do we want to be? We have made new friends and really missed our old friends. We have learned an awful lot about what it means to be a family. We have learned a lot about boundaries. We have worked on creating a family culture and family rhythm. I have learned that even though I thought I was just being diplomatic, I had been basing my decisions for the last 38 years on pleasing someone else. And most importantly I am now learning how to identify who I am what I want and what we want as a family - working together. I feel more love for others than I have in a long time but I feel much more love and respect for myself! Where is this journey taking us next? City? Country? Right next door?
The bottom line to all of this is I was looking for a strong foundation for our family. It would be very nice to find our home and settle, relax have some peace. But I have learned that HOME really is where your family is. And no matter where you are, if you have a strong family foundation you will carry it, regardless of location.

Racing to the Finish Line

2011-02-28T18:14:00.000-08:00

Quite often I feel like I am running a marathon, and somewhere around mile 22 I breakdown. I eventually make it to the finish line, but it takes me 100 times that of the first 22. Sometimes it just slowly fades away. I know I can finish. I had two natural births. One was even a homebirth and i know just when you think you cannot bear it anymore it is over. And you have done it.
I happen to be very sensitive and sometimes I find it just to hard to fight. I guess I don't like to fight. But I am learning that life is short and it should be filled with joy. Conviction in the choices you make. Taking Responsibility. Respecting yourself and not allowing others to collapse your foundation.

The fate of organic?

2011-02-05T20:21:00.000-08:00

A surrender to Monsanto? Really? Codex? Really? Former Monsanto head our food czar? Really?
Now I am certainly all about food safety. But I am also all about eating food grown the old fashion way.
Cross pollination happens. So where is the control? Am I going to have to buy a farm and surround myself, my friends and relations and the farm itself in a bubble?