Navigating Illness and Disability

Quick Tip: The Membership Dance

2011-10-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

Money is not usually and easy thing to come by when your sick. That and physical limits can make it much more difficult to find entertainment and recreation. Grace and I have found a loophole.

Here's what we do:

Every year we try a different membership to a museum or other recreation. When we hit on one we like we continue as members, year after year. This is a great way to find cheap entertainment and it also gives us a place outside of our home where we feel a kind of ownership. Memberships require a bit more money up front than general admissions. It's still worth it to bite the bullet and do it if you can. If you go somewhere a lot, like we go to the aquarium, it can actually cost very little to hang out there.

If you can't afford a membership, consider requesting it as a gift for a birthday or other occasion.

For example, here's what we get out of our Aquarium membership:

- Easy to get there,
- Plenty of places where I can sit and even lay down on a bench,
- We are getting pretty attached to the animals and feel some ownership,
- It gives us a connection to something outside of our home,
- A distraction from pain and that sick feeling,
- Cost, $1 - $2 for each visit when we break the membership cost down.
- We can go even if we don't have much money at the time.

Many places will let you apply the cost of a ticket toward a membership if you buy it on the same day you bought your admission. Think about it. What places can you get to that offer this kind of benefit?

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Quick Tip: Some Ways to Dial Down the Pain

2011-09-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

The body can go haywire just because of pain. Blood pressure can go up, muscles get tense and you might start breathing like you just ran a mile. Here are a few steps anyone can take toward better pain management (sick or healthy):

- First thing is to gain control over your breathing pattern. Start by taking 2 - 3 deep, slow breaths in your mouth and out your nose. After that continue to breathe (in mouth, out nose) but keep the pace slow and steady just like anyone normally breathes while at rest.

- Relax your muscles. Breathe as above while concentrating on each part of the body, one at a time. Start with your feet, then lower legs, upper legs, etc. until you work your way to the top of your head. Stop on each part of the body for a bit, at least 5-10 seconds but don't worry much about timing. Just give yourself enough time to get each area relaxed. You can go back over this as many times as you want.

- Separate. I think most people will agree that there is a mechanical part of us (the body) and a more abstract part of us (Spirit, soul, mind, thought or whatever you may call it). Concentrate on the difference between the two. The body can send signals of pain to the mind but the mind can decide what to do with those signals. It takes practice but when you can put more energy toward thought than you do toward the interpretation of pain, you'll take one more step toward better pain management.

Distract yourself with thoughts about anything but pain and other negativity. Look around your environment and think about the colors, smells and lighting. Concentrate on things like the texture of cloth or how your fingers feel when you rub them together. You can "force" your mind to loose some of it's connection to pain.

- Laugh. It is good medicine. Watch a funny show or joke with friends. I can't tell you how but it does make a difference.

- Digg into a hobby. Using your mind and body to create, categorize and manipulate can be another distraction.

It takes some time but it's worth it. You may not notice a difference at first but soon these things will add up and give you more control over how pain affects you and the people you care about.

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Quick Tip: Keep it Clean

2011-09-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

It can be really tough to keep a home clean when you're energy level doesn't match your mess. A cluttered place can bring anyone down. I even notice my creativity and motivation drop. If you can get help cleaning, great! What about when it's mostly or all your responsibility? You have to either adjust or get buried in junk.

First and foremost, practice good habits. The moment when you can swing through and clean the whole place in one shot is gone for the sick person. "I'll leave this here and put it in its right place later", it doesn't work anymore. It's a good foundation for a wrecked home. Take an extra minute to put things back where they belong, even if you're feeling lazy. An ounce of prevention...

Next, make time to clean. Even if I'm not feeling well I still try to spend 5-10 minutes every day or two straightening up a mess or wiping off counter tops.

Combine the 2 steps above in a consistent way and things will eventually come together. It can take a month for me to get a small apartment to look decent. It's still worth it. Once it's done it only takes me 5-10 minutes to tidy the whole place.

Dusting, floors and chemical cleaning can wait. Once a place is presentable those can be done in short periods too.

The benefits are better mood, a bit more energy and the lack of that sinking feeling when looking at a messy home.

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Quick Tip: Muscle Spasms Suck, But Not as Bad as They Could

2011-08-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

There are meds that a doctor can prescribe that help reduce the effects of muscle spasms. They really help so keep the information in mind as a priority but do not self medicate for any problem like this. Between possible side effects and interactions, it's way to dangerous without a doctor's supervision.

This is a tough symptom. Things get dropped or damaged. I almost busted an eardrum when I had a spasm while using a Qtip to dry my inner ear. Then I figured out a trick that helps keep damage to a minimum. loosen your grip, that's it, that's all. I keep my grip on the Qtip just tight enough that I can control it. I also keep it loose enough that if I have a muscle spasm, my fingers slide over it instead of grabbing and pushing it. You can do this with all kinds of things except for steering wheels and chain saws.

Here's one more quick tip. Whenever possible, while working on a computer save your work constantly. I do this every time I make an adjustment to a photo, document, blog entry, etc. While typing or moving a mouse or other device, muscle spasms can cause you to push a wrong key or jerk the mouse. Saving constantly will allow you to go back right before it happened.

Improve this or any other symptom by learning about:
"The World is my China Shop" ,
"Eat THIS!",
"Strength Training, The Benefits Outweigh The Learning Period",
"How do you Sleep?" and,
"Find The Right Doctors, Without Taking 9 Years to do it"

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I'm Changing Things up

2011-08-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

It's great that people have been subscribing to this blog and dropping nice notes to me about it's helpfulness. Even if it only helps one person, it's doing it's job. My first step was to write until I felt like there was enough information to help someone build a more solid foundation for being ill. I've reached that point. It doesn't mean I've decided to stop writing. It just means I have to decide how to divide my time. And, as you probably know, that kind of juggling act is 100 times harder when you're ill.

I currently have another project that needs a lot of attention right now. My readers here are still important. I'm going to try to space some things out by adding "Quick Tips". I hope they help and are worth reading. Please feel free to write if there is anything you would like to see covered in this blog, either as a Quick Tip or a full article. I'm happy to give you credit for your part, or you can choose to remain anonymous.

Thank you for your patience,
- Shawn

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Crack the Code

2011-07-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

Physically, we're built a lot like the machines we build. Look at the computer in front of you, your phone or tablet computer. The outer shell, glass and electronic parts inside do not move or change, they are the "Hardware". It's like your bones, your skin, everything that is physical about you is your hardware.

The computer also has parts inside that are dedicated to the interface between human and machine. It looks for inputs like mouse movement or keyboard input, then translates them into computer code (language). In order for you to see this entry, an app also has to use code to tell the video system what to put on the screen (an app is a piece of software like a game or word processor). It's a lot like talking to someone who speaks a different language, through an interpretor.

You could have a $1,000,000 computer sitting on your desk. Without the code that tells it what to do, it's not much more than a paperweight. We're the same way. Without the code or "thought" in our case we're all basically the same, just another lifeless lump of skin, bone and organs.

It's our code that makes us individuals, those little ideas that command our bodies to move and react. I'm referring to the network of ideas and thought processes that move through the human brain, our interface. My brain sends a signal (information) down through the nerves that run through my arms to my hands. The muscles start working and I can type these words.

Comparing the human body with the standard home computer:

Eye = Camera,
Ear = Microphone,
Sense of touch = Keyboard input,
Nerve = Wire
Muscle = Motor
Brain = Processor,

There are some really cool people who create the apps and software we use with ease. To most of us using an app is a matter of pushing buttons to make the software do what we want. What we don't see are the thousands of lines of code that have to be entered before they're compiled into a usable form.

This is what you see:
Click here to read "The Creative Survive Better" at www.navigatingillness.com,

This is what the computer sees:
a href="http://www.navigatingillness.com/2011/06/creative-survive-better.html" target="_blank">Click here to read "The Creative Survive Better" at www.navigatingillness.com

By simply changing one letter in a line of code, they can change the behavior of the entire computer. Changing one word in a sentence can change the behavior of your entire circle of friends and loved ones.

So what's the point? If we can change one thought, one idea or one input we can change any of the others. Entire systems of belief and behavior can be made better, one step at a time. Science has caught up with this concept and now proves that you can change and relearn things at any age. See the article called "The Plastic Brain and how to use it".

Just look at the idea of it. The human brain is built to grow and that goes for everyone who's alive today. In the article "The Plastic Brain and how to use it". you'll find that there are pathways in the brain that carry thoughts, commands and habits. As long as we're alive we have the ability to change those pathways, shut unwanted ones down and make new connections.

Now there is no excuse for not changing negative habits. There is no excuse for treating one's body poorly. There is no excuse for a lack of interest and creativity in bringing help to those who need it. It's challenging for anyone to reinvent their behavior, even for those who do it all the time. But the rewards are almost always greater than the challenge and the risk.

When we're cutting budgets for those in need, we need to change the code. We're leaving mothers to fight for SSD for 1.5 years, out of the 2 years their child has to live. We're leaving people to lose everything they worked for and to fight for basic human needs. Too many people have no idea what it feels like to say things like "If I had the SSD when I first got sick, I would have been able to save parts of myself and my life that now, I can never get back!"

Read it again... "If I had the SSD when I first got sick, I would have been able to save parts of myself and my life that now, I can never get back!"

Everyone has basic, instinctive code that says "you need to eat, have a home and be cared about". And yet we've created a function in our code that tells us to sit down and shut up when we or our fellow humans are made to fight for basic needs. It doesn't make sense.

We're letting too many people with poor behavior control our code. We're not changing enough of our habits that break each other down. Change the code! How? The same way software makers do it. They have to learn their computer language inside and out. If they don't know enough about it they probably won't get far. The more they learn, the more options and open doors they have.

It's the same thing with people. Only learn enough of your code to get by, then all you'll ever do is get by. The more you learn about yourself, your habits and your reasons for your behavior, the more control you'll have in your own life and in speaking out.

It would only take 30 minutes to call or write to those government leaders who are clueless, "We're not going to back you when you're mistreating people, and I could easily be next.". The only way they can survive off of selfish practices is if this huge community of people continues to let them. That's their foundation. It'll crumble the day the majority of us change our internal code from "I'm not good enough" to "I have just as many rights and strengths as the next person".

I've elaborated more on this subject in the entries:

- "Fear is an Option",
- "A Mechanism for Change",
- Greed = Revolution,
- "The Plastic Brain and how to use it",
- "The Creative Survive Better",

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Apologies

2011-07-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad blogger lately. I promise to pump out more entries soon. For now I have to dedicate much of my time to something more urgent. Thanks for your patience.

- Shawn

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Dirty Little Tricks

2011-07-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

In dealing with many people from Social Security I've found some hidden little tricks some (Notice I said some, as in, not all of the staff play to keep the "approve" stamp dry. This is a continuation of the entries, "Social (In)Security. Safety Net For 35%. Concrete Floor For 65%." and "The Doctor Will See Your Paperwork Now". I highly recommend reading those entries for more tricks.

Tip: "Adjudicator" means, the person deciding your case.

The way both of my adjudicators, and many of the people I reached on the phone spoke was as if they had the same training in dealing with cases:

First time around:

Me: "I'm scared about this. I've heard that 65% of all people get denied no matter what their disability."
Adjudicator #1: "Don't worry. That's a myth. That only happens when people either don't turn in paperwork on time or don't have doctors who will back their claim"
Me: "I hope this is true. We're in a really bad place and it's getting desperate."
Adjudicator #1: "I know. It can be really hard."
Me: "Is there anything that I need to complete that I haven't?"
Adjudicator #1: "No. Looks like you have everything in."
Me: "Please call me right away if there is something missing or anything that needs to be explained."
Adjudicator #1: "Sure, I can do that."

Months later on the second time around:

I spoke to someone at the SSD claim, intake office. That's the office number they do give you. They only process paperwork, etc then send it to the adjudicator's office. They wouldn't give me that number. I asked if they could at least tell me how the case was coming and if they've received my paperwork. The first time I spoke to someone, she said she couldn't find my application. She suggested I re-apply again. Then:

Me: You don't see it anywhere?
Intake Worker: No

Me: Okay, well I sent it about 3 weeks ago through certified mail and I have my receipt here.
Intake Worker: Hang on... (tick tock)... Oh, we do have it here. I just found it.

Me: So it's been there for almost 3 weeks and it hasn't even been touched?
Intake Worker: It takes a while sometimes but I will bump your case up to the front of the queue so it should get to the determination office soon.

Second call, 2-3 weeks later, same office, different representative:

Me: I'm calling to check on the status of my case.
Intake Worker: Okay, what's your Social, etc?
Me: Social is [xxx-xx-xxxx].
Intake Worker: Okay let me look it up... Sir I don't see your case in the system.
Me: I spoke to someone 2-3 weeks ago. I sent the forms by certified mail and she told me I would be placed at the front of the queue.
Intake Worker: Oh I see it now. I'll make sure it goes straight to the determination office.

Me: Can you please give me the name and number of the person who will be deciding my case?
Intake Worker: I'm sorry, we're just the intake office and we can't give out the number of the determination services.

After that I called several different people in different SSD locations and call centers, asking if I could find anything out about my case or speak to the person deciding it. Most of them said I could not contact anyone about it, that they only look at the paperwork at this stage. At least 2 of them said almost the same thing, "Your appeal will be handled by a different person this time." They explained that if I feel like the denial was unfair my case will have a fresh set of eyes. That's a good one, especially when they both had pathetic reasons for denial and spat out almost the same lines.

Some of those people did not follow the same script. Again, there are plenty of people with good intentions working in this system. I repeat this often because those are the people we need to connect to. Who better to help than those who know it from the inside? Some of them were honest and said they know the system is broken. One of them talked about how she and other employees understand how people are not being treated well. "We're working from the inside to try to fix this." She was the one who gave me my adjudicator's phone number. She said they should be listening to the people who need help, on the first try.

So then I called my new adjudicator. She was in shock for the first few minutes of the first call. She repeated "I just don't understand why anyone from Social Security would give you my number" at least 2 times. She also continually talked about how I am not supposed to be heard at this stage in the process. "We don't listen to people until the hearing stage". By the way, that's the stage you go through after 1.5 - 2 years of loosing almost everything you have.

I continued the first call:

Me: I've heard that 65% of all people get denied no matter what their disability.
Adjudicator #2: That's not true. The problem is when people do not have paperwork done on time or doctor's backing them
Me: Adjudicator #1 said the same thing to me, then denied me anyway when I had met those requirements.
Adjudicator #2: That's why a different person is working on your case.
Me: We've had acquaintances who were diagnosed with things like blindness and brain cancer who were made to fight for disability benefits.
Adjudicator #2: Well if you don't believe I can help you then I guess there's not much I can do for you.

At this point I had to wrangle up my pride. The alternative would have caused damage to my SSD claim, my phone and the nearest wall. I didn't realize then that simply calling them to get help with my case was the first and last straw for both adjudicators. I wrapped it up...

Me: "Our situation is getting worse and worse. We've lost so much already."
Adjudicator #2: "I know. There are a lot of cases like yours and they all need attention. It just takes a while."
Me: "Please call me if there is something missing or anything that needs to be explained."
Adjudicator #2: "I have your number. I can do that.

Months later, on one of the later calls:

Me: "Can you tell me how things are going with my case?"
Adjudicator #2: "It's complicated. There are 2 other people looking at it right now. It's going to take a while."

Less than a week later I had my second denial letter. I called back:

Me: "This is insurance fraud. You are denying people at the listed rate then trying to keep them at arms length so you don't have to listen to them.
Adjudicator #2: "If you believe we were wrong you are welcome to appeal again or get a lawyer."

This is not just about disability! These kind of tricks are also being played on those who receive retirement and death benefits. In some way, at some point just about all of us will have to deal with the Social Security system. We could spend some time complaining and making changes now, or we can do it after the 2 year disaster.

You can't ask a bully to stop being a bully. You can't ask a toddler to stop being a toddler. People who try to control information that belongs to everyone, usually only do it for one reason. Some people call it comfort and some call it extortion. They're going to try to steal from the people they "serve" no matter what I do by myself. Why? Because so many people believe their rights will be taken away when they speak up. Personally, I'd rather be the one who fights to change it than the one laying under their feet playing victim. We're still allowed to say things like "My Governor has been blinded by the sparkle of her own diamonds". I elaborated it in "Dear Governor, Have You Seen my Rights?". See, I didn't get shot or arrested.

Don't forget to read about other tricks in the entries, "Social (In)Security. Safety Net For 35%. Concrete Floor For 65%." and "The Doctor Will See Your Paperwork Now".

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The Doctor Will See Your Paperwork Now

2011-06-22T18:42:00.000-07:00

You may want to start by reading "Social (In)Security. Safety Net For 35%. Concrete Floor For 65%." I've stockpiled a nice collection of recorded phone calls and documents throughout the past year. It all comes from my attempt to get Social Security Disability benefits. I used the techniques outlined in my entry called "Dealing With Average". Comparing this information with my second denial letter revealed some major discrepancies in the way my case was handled.

Discrepancy #1.
During my phone calls to the adjudicator I had repeatedly talked to her about how my nervous system damage was the main cause of my illness. I told her about the hospital and doctors there that had found the problems. Before I found a clinic that gave me a diagnosis, I had gone to other places to try to work out what is wrong with my body. Those appointments were few and quick. They said what many other doctors said, "we don't know what's wrong".

I told the SSD adjudicator that, because of this, there were some records that are useless or are there only to rule out some other possible problems. What did she do? She left out the report from the hospital that found the cause of my problems. She put in the report from the other hospital, the one I told her did not have the equipment to help me. If I want to correct that I have to jump through more hoops and take a long time to do it.

Discrepancy #2. The reasons for denial were pathetic. "You report some improvement on xxxx medication.". Yeah, improved symptoms, that's what meds are supposed to do. Otherwise I wouldn't be risking the health of my liver and kidneys by taking them. Just because I show some improvement does not mean it's enough to feel healthy.

Here's another snippet, "We conclude that you are unable to to do strenuous or heavy work. You may experience some concentration and attendance problems but retain mental capacity to understand, remember and carry out job instructions in a stable work environment. Based on description of past work as a toddler teacher; we conclude you can still do this type of work. Therefore a period of disability is not established."

This is completely contradictory to the duties of an early childhood teacher. I guess they think it's just fine for someone to work with children who;

- will fall on the children. Most parents and administrators don't like a 200 lb guy crashing down on a child, especially when it would happen consistently),
- Is not able to pick up children for lack of energy, fear of falling or dropping a child,
- calls in sick 4-5 days out of a 5 day work week,
- can only do light work for a couple of hours when he can come out,
- has to leave the room constantly to sit or lie down,
- can sometimes be disoriented due to meds and vertigo,
- may occasionally vomit on children and co-teachers. I know that will go over well,
- has limited mobility due to pain and stiffness,
- etc., etc., etc...

After both denials I asked the adjudicators to compile me a list of places that would hire me under the above circumstances. Of course there was no response. I told them I was willing to prove everything I say so why can't they do the same thing?

Discrepancy #3. This is where the entry title comes from. There are these "doctors" who work for SSD. I'd be willing to bet they don't work with real patients much if at all. They spend a lot of time diagnosing a person's disability strictly based on their paperwork. Most of the people who decide a case will never even meet the person who needs the help. My adjudicator said I should not have been given her number by other SSD staff. She said "We don't normally give people a chance to speak out until the hearing.". By the way, the hearing comes after 2 denials, up to 2+ years and thousands of dollars.

I called my adjudicator today. I asked for her to send me copies of the documents that helped "decide" my case. She was only willing to send 1 out of 7 because it didn't have too many papers in it. She told me to get with my lawyer about this, that she was too busy. She said "I'm tired of you pinning me down with your recorded phone calls and questions.". When I asked "Asking for information about my case and trying to get help is pinning you down?" She said she was tired of this and hung up on me. I guess it's part of her job to not be bothered with the wellbeing or suffering of the people she's supposed to be serving. I guess it's too much for her to take, hearing that I'm not eating all the time.

Putting disability benefits into action is about luck, timing and whatever is on the adjudicator's plate at the moment. No one is immune to the worst life can offer, even when they try hard to put the possibility on the back burner. Think you'll never be able to lose everything? Don't forget about fire, flooding, earthquakes and tornadoes where hundreds or thousands of people have their entire estate wiped out.

There's a simple little circle here. Undercutting help to those who genuinely need it is a horrible practice. Ultimately it undercuts the safety net for the next sick or hurt person who thought it wouldn't happen to them, just like I used to. Want irony? This stuff can easily happen to the people who are responsible for the cuts. And for the healthy who think it's not a big enough problem to stand up now, read more of this blog. Find out what it's like to go through this. Trust me, it would do a lot more good to win these battles BEFORE your doctor tells you to get rest or else.

Wanna see for yourself? Read up on the SSD website.

Social Security's own web site includes the following information. They don't make it well known but here it is;
- "If you disagree with the decision Social Security made, you have the right to request an appeal."
- "There are four levels in the appeals process:"
- "The average amount of time needed to process a hearing request during fiscal year 2010 was 426 days."
- "The Appeals Council is comprised of approximately 115 adjudicators (Administrative Appeals Judges and Appeals Officers) who carefully review and sign each final action."
- For a lawyer you will pay "no more than 25 percent of past-due benefits or $6,000, whichever is less."
- "Withholding federal taxes from my Social Security check", yeah, you have to pay this out of the small amount of money they give you.

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Social (In)Security. Safety Net For 35%. Concrete Floor For 65%.

2011-06-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

I've been tossing an idea around for this sort of Blog entry for a while. Clearly defining so many of the things that go wrong with illness is a tricky one for me. First, I had to make sure I was in the right frame of mind, not angry and not ready for a fight. That gets harder and harder as we face more and more cuts and shut outs toward the people in my ~~boat~~ life raft. And by the way, I wish the ~~boat~~ life raft were bigger so I could invite some of the false "leaders" aboard to show them the mess they're working hard to forget. Unfortunately, they haven't learned the difference between a signal flare and a white flag.

Do not mistake what I'm saying. There are plenty of people who work for Social Security because they truly want to help people in need. There are lawyers who feel the same way. I've spoken to many of them who've given me real, usable information while many others just sugar coat the process in the hopes that you'll buy in. There are also lots of consumers who are contributing to the mess by claiming disability when they don't need it (grrrr!).

I'll just map out the basic process in steps:

1. You: "They take this money out of my paycheck, without giving me a choice!"
Social Security: "Don't you worry. If you ever need it, it will be there."

2. You: "Something is wrong with my body, I mean scary wrong! I have proof!"
Social Security Web Site says: "Welcome! We're here to help. Just fill out this really long form and gather lots of info. We will review your case and let you know what we decide."

3. Wait (get used to this word). It takes months for them to even process and begin to review your case, no matter what your disability is.

4. If you're in the unlucky 65% of people who are denied automatically, consistently, here's what you'll do:

- Go 2 full rounds of applying for help,
- Fill out the exact same paperwork multiple times (while reading their flyer on how they're following the paperwork reduction act),
- Get denied again,
- Work through the maze of good and bad lawyers. This was pretty tough for me because I looked up their reviews. Hmmm, I wonder why there are so many disability lawyers who can survive in the business when they're unprofessional and get terrible reviews?,
- Give 25%, with a maximum of $6,000 to the lawyer, out of the back pay you'll get when you win the case. By this time you're so worn down that you'll hardly care about the huge bill.
- Wait between 1.5 to 2 years total before you see any help at all.

We personally know someone who had to watch her 19 year old son lose his life to brain cancer. By the time his benefits came in, almost the entire 2 years he was given to live was gone. They had to take thousands of dollars out of the back pay to pay the lawyer. Let me say it again, A MOTHER had to watch her CHILD die at AGE 19 and their SSD case workers made them FIGHT for help for almost the entire time! Obviously many of these people have never been through anything that even compares.

This kind of thing happens every day. It's not about how sick a person is. It's about whether or not there is room for that person among the 35%. You may as well draw straws. The discrimination is based on luck and not illness like it should be. Some people call it extortion. I call it insurance fraud.

What if the ratio flipped? If any more than 35% of the people got in, there would be some SSD staff paychecks on the way out. Tipping the scales would give more power to the consumers who now pay without choice. So would letting them speak out during the process.

I made several calls to get the number of the person who was deciding my case. One of the first things she said to me was how I should not even have her number. "We don't listen to people until the second denial goes through." When people work that hard to control information, it keeps the power of decision in their hands. It's an ugly behavior most often used by bullies and gossip queens, guarded by sugar coating. Want proof? How about that nice statement they send out at the end of the year. It tells us how much we get if we ever need it. Did your's say anything about a 2 year fallout while you're waiting?

If someone doesn't care about how they make a paycheck, they don't deserve a paycheck from a system that was designed to care about people. Give those paychecks to people in SSD that DO care. Get creative in how to determine who they are and how to give them more power. It took me several calls and questions but not long to find some of them.

And if the above is not enough to convince you? Here's just a small handful of things that happen during the 1.5 - 2 year wait for help:

- Things that normally break cannot be replaced the way most people can replace them. Before you know it you'll be surrounded by useless junk that you still have to try to use. Furniture gets really uncomfortable and even causes problems with veins. I sleep on an air mattress, on the floor because we can't both comfortably fit in the bed.

- Enjoy your bank account while you can! Unless it's absolutely enormous much of it will go toward medical bills, meds, etc. Soon you'll be making decisions like "Can we afford to buy an extra pack of earplugs this week ($1.99)?"

- Food. Ever get really hungry and then stare into a refrigerator and see nothing but ketchup, mayo, mustard, butter, water and maybe some cheap lunch meat? Ever lose your health and then lose the ability to buy healthier foods that will keep you from getting worse? For us it's sometimes about not having enough money. But mostly it's because neither of can carry much. We can only get groceries for 2-3 days. I only have one hand because of my cane and I can't go a lot of the time. I can't put a lot in my pack because of a messed up shoulder. We lost the car too.

- Bills. It's a constant juggling act. "This month we will let the electric bill go until they threaten to cut it off. Right now we need to pay the phone bill that's already 2 months behind."

- Communication. Sometimes our phones are disconnected. Imagine what it might be like for Grace., knowing her boyfriend is sick and not being able to check on him all day.

- Have animals like we did? Good luck keeping them fed and taking them to the vet. We lost our cats because we couldn't afford them anymore. They went to a good home but seriously, Grace rescued them when they were both near death. Then she kept them for 10 years until recently. I got attached to them too. That was only gut wrenching.

- Neighbors. We are respectful, compassionate people who live in low income housing because we can't help it. Most of our neighbors live here because they know they can get away with more unreasonable activities. Upstairs, a woman in her 30's who believes it's her right to not let her neighbors sleep well for an entire year. Downstairs, a woman who smokes in our non-smoking building. Next door, a guy who stomps and yells at his wife and kids until they cry.

- Guilt anyone? We had to ask for help in ways we never imagined we could. For me it can be tough. My illness is the reason we're going through this. If I could work we would not be here.

- Not a fighter? Too bad. Forget about the rest your doctor keeps telling you to get. You now have a full time job, on top of the full time job of managing your body with meds, therapy, doc visits, etc.

Check out these articles for more info:
Next up, "The Doctor Will See Your Paperwork Now"

"Dear Governor, Have You Seen my Rights?"
"It can and Does Happen to Anyone", and
"We're Still Worth it"

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The Creative Survive Better

2011-06-07T16:20:00.000-07:00

As I've said many times in this blog, there are the average who survive by stale philosophies. Stock, off-the-shelf comfort zones work. Cutting quality and keeping old practices intact is a proven method of survival for those making the cuts. It doesn't work for the rest of the community. It's especially damaging to many disabled people. We don't have the budget to constantly keep up with broken stuff and poor services.

By now, in this economy, we've all seen the growing problem of substandard products and services. Phone batteries become useless much faster. Many automobiles show signs of early wear and tear. Services often don't turn out to be as they were advertised.

I'll give you an example. Grace and I signed up for a T-Mobile family plan. We bought 2 Motorola Cliq XT phones. We were promised an Android operating system update within a month or so of purchase. I've found out that T-Mobile had promised this to it's customers long before we bought in. Over a year after that promise, our phones are outdated and have lost a lot of their functionality. There is no update coming. And of course the law is on their side if we refuse to pay for service.

It's happening everywhere. We are seeing more and more cuts in quality while still being held to our obligations. A company can sell you a piece of junk and still collect your money as if it were a good item. It's sugar coating and many people are tired of those words that don't turn into action.

The good news is that there is a precedent for creating longevity in a much more compassionate way. It's about taking small steps that pay off shortly after.

Grace and I paid $99 for a year's worth of bus fare on my disabled pass. It was more than we were comfortable spending. We made the sacrifice and within a few months it paid itself off. Now I don't have to pay $30+ a month to ride the bus. It was hard at first but now I have much more freedom to travel. And the more we find things to do the same with, the more we save money in the long run. The more we save money in the long run, the more quality things we can afford. Sometimes the snowball effect can be beneficial.

Buying quality products is the same way. It takes more at first but the payoff is actually a lower cost of ownership. That's because you won't have to keep buying or repairing the same thing over and over. The user experience is also better with more user-friendly features. I'd rather give my money to people who care deeply about what they're doing and how it affects their clients. I'd rather not give my money to companies who turn away from me once the sale is made.

Companies that manufacture products or offer services can make a choice to keep quality in their process and continue to build on that. The small steps may be difficult but they will translate later into a consistent customer base and better word-of-mouth advertising. That will bring and keep a solid set of buyers so the business will remain healthy. Unlike those who only find stock answers to challenges, these companies remain creative and solve problems in ways that benefit everyone. As I said in "Dear Governor, Have You Seen my Rights?", no one can really lead people without paying attention to the quality of their leadership for everyone they are leading.

When looking for products do your research. Look on the Internet or in a store to find the items or services you may want. Then go to Google.com and type "review [product or service name]", example, "review iMac", "review North Face Recon" or "review smugmug". Read what other users have said to help you get a better idea of what you want. Keep in mind that even reviews can sometimes be misleading. This can happen when groups of people love the junk they bought because it's just a step ahead of the piece of junk they had before. As with anything in life, Loading up with lots of info from many different sources will help keep you from getting ripped off.

I'm mainly posting the following companies because they are great demonstrations of how quality can overcome financial or other issues more so than standard, easy and quick budget cuts.

Apple. From the very beginning Apple has created solid computers, operating systems, phones, music players and other devices (click links for Amazon.com). Their customer service is quick and welcoming. Windows is okay if you're not using resource hungry software. Pro video editors and graphic designers won't touch it. It's not just about the fact that a constant stream of glitches and maintenance will cost valuable time. It's also because the customer service is costly and time consuming.

I've built and maintained both Windows and Mac systems for decades. I've had lots of experience with the customer service of both companies. You may spend more money on a Mac but you won't be treated like the experience ends when the purchase begins. It's also a matter of being user friendly. I edited video in Windows with some serious software. The hardware in my machine was top notch but I still spent about 20% of my time trying to keep the operating system happy. It caused me to loose money. My mac does what most Mac owners say it does. It just works. I turn it on, do what I need to do then turn it off.

Of course some Apple products have issues. No machine in existence has ever been immune to failure. But Apple makes the sacrifices before the machine goes out. It comes back later in the form of customer satisfaction, solid operation and better ideas about what community should be. They don't have the philosophy of "get it out now, make the money and deal with the existing problems later."

North Face. Grace and I have both bought their "Recon" back packs. Amazon.com has them for less than we paid for ours. Everywhere you look on the pack shows quality in design and manufacturing. Many companies that make packs just put out what everyone else has. North Face is different from that. The Recon has thick, solid zippers with belts to protect them from heavier loads. It has adjustments all over for comfort and is water resistant. You can wear it with just the basic straps for convenience and even store some of the ones you don't use inside it's build in hiding places. In a matter of seconds you can also connect a few other built-in straps to help with heavier loads.

You can load both a Recon and another company's product with the same amount of weight. The Recon will feel lighter than the other one. It's even been endorsed by the American Chiropractic Association. We are not seeing these packs all over the city. It's because they found ways to keep cutting edge quality on the table. It's not a $30 backpack but it will last a long time and put less wear and tear on a person's body. Cost of ownership is lower because you won't have to buy a new pack every couple of years.

Smugmug. Click here to visit smugmug.com. They're great for just personal photo printing or looking to buy photos from artists. I have photos I took when I used to have camera gear. Now I need a place to host and possibly sell them. After looking up reviews and trying their service along with others, this is the site I'm settled on.

Smugmug is a family owned site. Like Apple and North Face this business has not lost it's connection to it's communities. The customer service, communication and other business practices are exceptional. Every nook and cranny of their service is saturated with thoughtful features. There are way more options for setting up my portfolio than any other hosting site.

This family is already multiple steps ahead of what other photo hosts are doing. One of the things that impressed me most is that they don't just bank cutting edge practices and then ride them out. They continue to bring fresh ideas to their work.

Just a handful of other examples:

Toyota, Honda, BMW and Audi are just some of the automobile makers that put care into everything they do. Take care of a car made by them and you'll get hundreds of thousands of miles out of them with much less cost for repair and maintenance. That same quality goes into the safety of their vehicles. Have a serious accident in a Cobalt and you'll be lucky to come out of it with your life. Have the exact same accident in a BMW and you will probably walk away from the car with fairly minor injuries.

More reading that connects to this subject:

"Dealing With Average",
"A Vulture for Every... Thing." and
"Products I Use And Trust to Help With Disability, And a Tip For Cane Users."

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Greed = Revolution

2011-06-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

Credit goes to Grace for coming up with most of the basic ideas in this entry. If you haven't heard about our Washington state governor Chris Gregoire's ongoing plan to cut funding for important things, click here to read "Dear Governor, Have You Seen my Rights?"

As I said in "Dear Governor, Have You Seen my Rights?", we have already had cuts for teachers for the past 5 years or so. We've also already had cuts for those people like me who need assistance while our bodies fall apart. Now she's pushed and won another round of cuts to the same people without hearing every group speak out. She actually had the nerve to send out a public "Thank you" to teachers and state workers she just cut funding for. It basically said "thanks for taking one for the team". She said nothing to the poor and the sick. Is it clear enough yet that she wants us to just go away? She said now the community needs to step up and help those in need. Hey Governor, are you no longer part of this community? What, you don't feel any measurable responsibility toward those in need of help?

"Dear Governor, Please excuse me for the illness I have no choice over and the run-on sentence I'm about to lay out. I've been pretty grumpy over the reality of things like constant pain, no energy, financial wreckage, losing a huge amount of the most important things we have (including our cats that we couldn't afford to feed anymore), not always being able to communicate when the phones are cut off (meaning Grace has to worry about her sick boyfriend when we can't talk), desperately needing rest while being made to fight for every need and going hungry. And I'm sorry to disarm one of your favorite techniques but when you look the other way and forget our problems, it doesn't make us forget too.

So now what? What happens with the MILLIONS of people that are genuinely in need of help? I'll give you a clue. Find a stranger walking down the street. Stop them. Tell them you will no longer allow them to buy enough daily needs like deodorant, toilet paper and tampons. Explain how you will keep them from having enough food in the house. Threaten their wellbeing and safety. Tell them you will take their car, their animals, and their safe place to live. If you're a man and you approach someone this way don't forget to wear a cup.

It's basic instinct for just about any living thing that has any ability to protect itself. When you remove the layer of safety for anyone, you expose everything they had protected. Once that line of defense is gone, it's time to do whatever one can to survive. The level of defense has to go from low to high. There's very little choice when we're ignored. It's like arming a bomb or turning a gun's safety off. Try petting a wild, injured animal. Their defense will not be pleasant even if the same animal would normally walk away if it weren't injured.

Millions of people have already been forced to mostly fend for themselves. Now we walk around every day with our safety turned off. After being teachers for years, Grace and I have made regular practice at solving problems without pointing a gun at someone. We've been praised by key players for working through this while always keeping our vision of how we want to treat people. Our families raised us that way.

Out of millions of people how many think like that? How many of them are going to maintain control when they've been kicked around? All you need is one of them to decide what many others have in the past, the best way to solve a difference is to bring a weapon into the mix. That's all you need to cause major damage. "Hey Governor, you ready to talk about undercutting our entire community yet? No, I don't mean just the ones who think life is hard because a bird pooped on their Jag."

There are police, soldiers and martial artists. These are good examples of the people who are trained to fight but most of them know it's only a last resort. Those are the people who won't pull the trigger just because they're upset. They can handle a fight because it's what they do. We are now forcing more and more people into the fight that should not be fighting. Many of them don't have the self discipline that trained people do, especially when pushed past their limits by issues that could have been changed. As a fighter and a friend to many other fighters, I know that the most dangerous person is the person who doesn't care what happens to them. Here is our community telling them that how they feel doesn't matter.

I'm going to spend more time doing one of the only things I can respect myself over, writing about this. It's absolute mission critical. I suggest everyone else figure out which side of the story they're on. At least you'll have the defenses of your group to take cover in. Those who do not speak up will be caught in the middle. No man's land is a bad place to be in any battle. Being easily lead doesn't help either. At this point we are so far into the mess that denying it could bring a fool's price. Think it's someone else's problem? Read "It can and Does Happen to Anyone" for hard facts that show we're all at risk.

Here are some other related articles to check out:

"Dear Governor, Have You Seen my Rights?",
"Some of us Would Like to Apologize to the Rest of the World",
"Work, 24/7. Paycheck, 0/0", and
"We're Still Worth it"

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Dear Governor, Have You Seen my Rights?

2011-05-26T00:20:00.000-07:00

Grace brought an article to my attention tonight about our Washington State Governor, Chris Gregoire. She has recently been cutting state funding for things like our Ferry system, disabled people and now even teachers. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2015149811_legislature26m.html

I just put an entry out earlier today but I couldn't leave this alone for a week.

Some snippets from the article:

- "Even as lawmakers wrapped up their work, several groups were threatening lawsuits or initiatives to overturn budget cuts."

- "Many of us would have preferred other options, but those options were not available to us,"

- "In the end, the budget made more than $4 billion in cuts, including a 1.9 percent reduction in teacher pay and cuts in social services for the poorest Washingtonians. State support for higher education also was slashed, and students will see large tuition increases. State worker pay was cut 3 percent through unpaid time off."

- "I really think that the civility we have demonstrated here in this chamber should be a model for the nation," said Sen. Jim Hargrove, D-Hoquiam.

This "leadership", the kind where the leaders don't listen to all of the people they claim to lead. It's the kind where someone like her can make cuts. And she does it without even hearing about what they will do to those in the mix, FROM those in the mix. It needs to stop! We need to have the conversations about how to keep this from happening now. Not after the next person dies because they can't get their meds.

We all need to educate those "leaders" about the fact that the human experience doesn't end when a disability starts. And basic human needs are among the biggest parts of being human. When we ignore the biggest parts of being human the biggest problems come out. The consequences of that don't end when budget cuts start!

She should know that she might someday be on the ferry that sinks because cuts were made. Those things are big governor, BIG! Big machines! They shuttle thousands of people at one time and put out 80 times the energy of the average car. When BIG machines don't have a BIG budget and a team with good moral, they fail in BIG ways and cause BIG problems. It's a fairly SMALL equation.

And for those teachers who've already been through recent cuts... these "leaders" are breaking down the very system that educates our children. Maybe they didn't hear me... our CHILDREN. These teachers have already had to fiercely compete for jobs. Not all of us have forgotten the past 4-5 years when teaching jobs became increasingly hard to come by. Again, our education system is a BIG system. It services another highly important, basic human need. Children and families need to have a comfortable and happy place to explore. That gets harder and harder as moral is brought down by the message: "You teachers deserve less pay than the people that detail my car".

Our problems are everyone's problems. Our disabilities and lack of moral directly effect them. Even if they try to run from it. Just like their problems are our problems, as is so obvious over this latest article. We all have to pitch in. Especially those with so much immediate power.

I had to learn. I used to lead people without listening to them. What I discovered was, people don't care to be around you when you don't hear them out. I worked on it. I read. I faced what I did. That's because I'm interested in BIG relationships. As opposed to shallow ones that are only there for a short time and yield nothing but material. Also because I couldn't buy or legislate my way out of it.

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Strength Training, The Benefits Outweigh The Learning Period

2011-05-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

It is what it sounds like, training the body to be stronger. Many people are not aware of how easy and beneficial it can be, even for disabled people. As long as the body is alive it will be open to different types of physical growth. It just needs the right opportunities. Even if that growth is small it's still a step toward feeling better. Those who have any chronic symptoms, colds, flus or the like should double check this with your doctor before proceeding.

As with adopting a healthy diet, strength training is not about looking a certain way. For many, that can be a nice side effect but is not the heart of the matter. You don't have to be built like the Govenator to improve your overall health.

I used to strength train regularly, in my old body that is. I felt strong and able to do difficult physical things. Since being ill I've lost a lot of that strength. In the process of going from strong to weak I've learned something important. Strength training and a healthy diet were the reasons my illness stayed dormant for so long. It's a verification of how much stress was taken off of my joints, ligaments, tendons, bones and blown shoulder. Building the muscle around them had almost the same effect as wrapping a hurt elbow with an Ace bandage, reinforcement.

I still strength train but only at a small fraction of what I used to do. I do it because it does take some of the pain away.

The benefits include:

- Feeling stronger,
- Taking stress off of other parts of the body,
- building bone strength, not just muscle strength,
- Supporting the body better during falls or other injuries, causing less damage,
- Improvement of mobility,
- Improvement of glucose control, especially beneficial to diabetics,
- A catalyst to burning calories faster even when resting. A body with more muscle will always use more calories than the body that has less.

You don't have to start big. You don't have to start perfect. As with anything, it can take a bit of time to learn. Write the technical rules down or print them and look at them while you're first learning. After a bit this will become second nature. Your experience will get easier and you will use less time to work out. As with eating well you only need to take the first, small steps to start to see results. I have felt improvements, sometimes within days. So where do you start?

Most importantly, before ANY kind of workout make sure you learn about the most important parts:

Eating well before a workout. Some fresh fruit and veggies and some protein (chicken, Turkey) are good snacks before a workout. Don't eat a lot, maybe only a third of a meal. Wait at least 30 minutes after eating. This gives your body some time to process the food. When you don't eat properly beforehand or go hungry, your body will start consuming it's own muscle as a source of nutrients. Click here to read "eat THIS!" for more information on the benefits of a healthy diet.

Warm up and Cool down. Proper, easy stretching and "warm up" of muscles simply by moving them are also important. Muscles are like just about any other material. If you stress them when they're cold they're more likely to break. Bend your elbows back and forth slowly for a few minutes. Do the same with shoulders, hands, hips and knees. Gently turn your tourso back and fourth. If you can, walk, bike or go elliptical for 5 minutes beforehand, while bending other joints.

"Cool down" means doing the same as the above after the workout. This helps put your body back into a normal state. This mainly applies when you're doing more aerobic exercises like running.

Proper stretching before and after you work out. Do it until you feel a slight pull. If you feel any pain you're stretching too far. About.com has a nice article on stretching with some videos if you click here, , http://exercise.about.com/cs/flexibility/l/bltotalstretch.htm

Mayoclinic also has a nice slide show on stretching located here, http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stretching/SM00043

Proper counting. A "rep", short for "repetition" is just that. Lift a weight up with your arm then let it back down. You've contracted the muscle, then released it. That's one rep.

A "set" is a set of reps.

Here's an example: for general strength training, a person will lift a weight up and down 10 times then take a 2 minute break. Then he/she lifts 10 more times and takes another 2 minute break. Then 10 more times and now that muscle is done. That person just did 3 sets of 10 reps.

Basically, the number of reps you do is related to your goal. Fewer reps with a higher weight will build more muscle faster, if you want to body build and have the health to do it. More reps with lower weight is good for general strength training and toning. A basic rule is to do no less than 6 reps per set, no more than 12.

Choose your weight. Start small with just 2 pounds. If you don't feel much resistance or don't feel a bit sore the next day, you need to bump the weight up. Try adding only 1 pound at a time. If you don't have weights you can use soup cans or anything with a similar weight. When I didn't have weights, I tied a cloth around the handle on a water bucket. Then, as I needed more weight I would put more water in.

1 gallon of water = 8.35 pounds. You can use other containers too, as long as the handle is comfortable and the container does not inhibit your movement.

Form. The way you hold your body while strength training is extremely important for preventing injury. It's easy to learn. Just keep a straight back. Isolate the training to a single muscle group. You only use the muscle you're working on, as opposed to jerking your whole body around to wrestle the weight up. Keep your movements smooth. The CDC will show you proper form once you get into each exercise on their site by clicking here, http://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/growingstronger/exercises/index.html

Breathing. Breathe easy and somewhat deep, at the same time and with the same count as when you're doing a rep. You'll contract the muscle for 2 seconds. While you're doing that breathe out for the same 2 seconds. You release the muscle for 4 seconds. Breathe in for the same 4 seconds.

Proper timing. Don't just lift the weight up and down quickly. Count to 2 when contracting (lifting). Count to 4 when releasing (letting the weight down).

Taking breaks in between each set helps keep you from overdoing it. It's also good because you can see how you feel after each set. If you feel the muscle burning, you can lower the weight. If you feel nothing you can raise it. Take less of a break for body building and more for general strength training. A good rule is no less than 30 seconds, no more than 2 minutes.

Work every muscle group. Don't just do one group. You can break these up into different days. Arms one day, legs the next and so on. I never do a full body workout in one day. The body needs the balance of all groups being worked out. Otherwise you can be more susceptible to injury.

Don't do it too often. Give each muscle group 7 days to heal before doing it again. Try to allow no more than 14 days between but that is pushing it. Unless you're into serious body building. Then you need at least 72 hours. Example: Monday you could work your arms. Don't do them again until next Monday. Tuesday, work on legs. Don't do them again until next Tuesday.

I leave you with some links to get started on the actual exercises...

The CDC's instructions for beginning are here,
http://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/growingstronger/exercises/stage1.html
They have some exercises using every day items like chairs and some with weights.

Mayoclinic has a good slide show with some beginning exercises, click here, http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-training/SM00041

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Eat THIS!

2011-05-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Diet. It's one of the most important pieces of being human. And yet somehow it's one of the most overlooked. I wanted to bring some facts to the table here. When I Googled "effects of a poor diet", a ridiculous amount of links came up. That reinforces what I already know, malnutrition is a major, world wide problem.

It's not because we're stupid and lazy. It's because very few people will tell you about how much better it feels to adopt a healthy diet and exercise plan. I've been through it. Now that I have adopted a healthier lifestyle it's become second nature. I only had to go through a short period that was challenging. Years later I've forgotten about it. And whatever I do remember seems so insignificant compared to the benefits I have now. If I had not adopted and kept this part of my life, by now I would probably be in assisted living or dead. If it can give me, a sick person, a better chance at survival and some mobility, imagine what it could do for a healthier person.

Let's start with some hard facts.

According to The World Health Organization, Malnutrition causes:

- 171 million children aged under 5 years to be stunted annually;

- The deaths of 3.9 million children (35% of total deaths) through exposure to nutritional risk including underweight, suboptimal breastfeeding and vitamin and mineral deficiencies.

- 1.5 billion people to be overweight worldwide, of whom 500 million are obese.

I don't need to do any more research to know how bad the affects of malnutrition are. It's a fairly simple equation and it doesn't just affect the body. It can easily cause an endless array of health issues and other every-day problems with things like:

- Concentration,
- Digestion,
- Bowel movement,
- Skin issues,
- Energy,
- Cell growth,
- Heart function,
- Kidneys,

And that's a very short list.

The body is a machine. It is designed to function under certain parameters. Eating burgers and pizza every day is not one of them. Every nutrient, every chemical, everything good or bad gets distributed throughout the entire body. It's in our skin, our bones, our organs, our hair, our eyes and everything else. And yet we often put things in our bodies without a clue as to what they will do to us.

Would you fill your car's fuel tank against the instructions? We could all save a few bucks by putting in 90% gasoline, then toping it off with 10% water. Your car is not going to run well, if at all. If your flying in an airplane, would you be okay if the airline did the same? I'm assuming the answer is no. So why do it with our own bodies? Convenience. And to boot, our world is publishing relatively little information about good nutrition. What we can find is often confusing and unusable to most people.

We have reasons to eat poorly. Many people have a history with McDonald's and the like. It's what we know and it's pretty convenient to grab a quick cheap burger. Half the time you can order as easily as rolling down the car window. The "United" States is geared more toward making an easy dollar than educating people about health. We spend more time on tax breaks for the rich than we do on promoting good nutrition. The point is, I used to eat poorly by my own choice so I fully understand the attraction to poor food. And sometimes it just tastes good.

So what do we do about it?

As a global community we need to start passing off the right info. We need to inform people that a poor diet can directly cause serious health issues. As sick people, we need to stand up and say "Look at what I'm going through physically. Trust me. You DO NOT want to go through this! Especially if you can prevent it!". We need to have these conversations before the fallout, not after when it's too late. More understandable information about how to eat well needs to be easily available to everyone.

Look at the numbers. Say we just educate 30% of the population on how to eat better. As of May, 2011, 30% would be 2,075,289,153. That mix includes people who work in all kinds of jobs as problem solvers. That's 2,075,289,153 people who could substantially improve their productivity and home lives, in turn, improving our entire human experience. The potential of positive side effects would be huge!

As individuals it means improving our own diet and helping others see the benefits. It's not always easy but the benefits do outweigh the challenges. And the challenges don't stay long. The hardest part is that first step, finding reasons to care. In a relatively short time a person can start to feel better in so many ways. After that it becomes addictive. It's just plain nice to feel more alert and strong in any activity. And once you get a taste for healthier foods, they become just as enjoyable as that piece of cheesecake.

You don't have to take dramatic steps. That's what burns most people out. You can start by simply eating more fresh, uncooked fruits and vegetables. Do this for a while. You'll build a foundation for the next steps so they'll be easier. Next, learn about how to balance nutrients. The famous food pyramid is a good start. After that, slowly take in information about bad food ingredients like High Fructose Corn Syrup and Aspartame. When you're ready you can learn how to read food labels. Eventually you will build a diet that you can keep and benefit from for life.

Don't completely cut out the unhealthy foods you love. Enjoy those cookies or burgers, just do it with considerable moderation. I still allow myself a couple of "bad" meals and a desert each week. Much more than that will cause problems for me, especially since I can't be anywhere near as active as I used to be.

Go organic as much as possible. You are much less likely to run into genetic engineering and chemical pesticides that alter food. Don't be fooled. The label "All Natural" is often completely different than "organic". See the Masters in Health Care article below.

Be careful about foods that are labeled as "low fat" or low anything. What they often don't say is that they add lots of other things that are just as bad, to make up for the loss of quality of that one missing ingredient. "Low fat" can often go hand in hand with high sugar or sodium.

Move on. As you build a second nature routine you will be giving your body a better foundation. At some point when you get more comfortable, add exercise. It's just as important and will take how you feel to an even higher level. . Click here to read "Strength Training, The Benefits Outweigh The Learning Period".

Read up. I'm getting off of my soap box now. I'll leave you with some good places to start:

- The USDA has created a comprehensive web site. There are well organized pieces of information and interactive tools to help anyone get started. Click here to visit http://www.mypyramid.gov/

- Masters in Health Care has published a nice article on misleading food labels, like "Low Fat" or "All Natural" Click here to visit http://www.mastersinhealthcare.net/blog/2010/10-misleading-food-labels/

- Read up on Aspartame. It's an artificial sweetener found in all kinds of diet sodas, candy, gum, etc. While the promoters of Aspartame will tell you it's safe, there is much more info out there against that claim. I personally know at least 3 people who, when they stopped drinking the diet sodas with Aspartame, many of their symptoms improved significantly. Organic Health has an informative article found at http://organichealthadviser.com/archives/aspartame-dangers

Evaporated Cane Juice is an organic, safe alternative to Sugar, High Fructose Corn Syrup or sugar substitutes. This can be found in many organic products. Just read the ingredient list.

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Compare THIS!

2011-05-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

The other day I read my horoscope, just for fun that is. Part of it said, and I'm not kidding, "Your recent hard times may come to an end soon. Meeting some of life's needs is your goal for today. Kick it off with something special like that new pair of shoes you've been looking at." And here I've been trying to meet my needs by fighting for food and medical care.

It makes me realize how differently every day information can be interpreted, from one person to the next. There's a spectrum here. At one extreme end, the person that believes life sucks because they can't get the new TV until next paycheck. At the other extreme end, someone who feels their life is rough because they've just lost a loved one, who lost to a long painful battle to an illness.

When we speak, act or even flash a facial expression, we create a connection from ourselves to other people. It's like connecting a wire from one computer to the next. It creates a path where information can be transfered between the two. That connection between people can be made in endless ways. Saying "hello" to a stranger in a store is one good example. You can connect to someone else's opinion by turning on the TV, Radio or reading a headline. The information they pass of will be directly affected by where they are in the spectrum. Someone who feels life is rough over small problems, can pass on that view. Same with someone who understands, save the negative stress for real issues like a devastating Tsunami.

Cell phones make it easy to call someone almost regardless of where they are. I've actually seen this recently in a public bathroom. A guy was sitting in a stall, having a phone conversation while manufacturing show ideas for E!. Seriously, the person on the other end must have heard some all kinds of interesting background noise. The point is that our daily lives are completely saturated with opportunities to connect to each other.

Acting while all the way to either edge of the spectrum, is unhealthy for everyone. Like kindness or hate, it is contagious behavior. The super model can reach lots of young girls. She teaches them that terms like "work it!", "Whatever!" and "Talk to the hand!" are important problem solving tools. On the other end is someone who is so caught up in their bad experiences that they can't find importance in anything.

The good news is that, with time and information, anyone can find a balance. The bad news is that many people don't want to. They're comfortable with the way they act, speak and look. Comfortable but not happy, just practicing to look that way. I would love to have the problem that my car, if I owned one, had a small scratch. Or, I had to wait to get a new computer until tomorrow because the Apple store was closed.

There are the disabled, soldiers, firefighters and many other people in similar positions. Also, the loved ones of each of them. Many of them have either witnessed or experienced serious, long term hardship. Most wouldn't dare put tight jeans and loud boots above suffering and loss. They would laugh at how "rough" life is for the guy who hurts because he just got a tiny ding in his car.

So in the interest of extending my point, here are some good side-by-side comparisons:

The headline "Giving up hope can make patients living with a serious illness HAPPIER, says new study", versus the headline "Fashion Police: Jennifer Lopez's Met Gala Gown Is a Bouquet of Fail"

More headlines,
"Local boy with cancer turns into a superhero for a day", versus
"K-Fed’s Girlfriend Is Pregnant!"

And for some general info about life:
You can sign up for missing children alerts by clicking here, or
You can click here for the latest news about Debutante clothing.

I'm trying to imagine how many of the real issues we could solve, if we didn't have much of our focus on issues that shouldn't matter. We're spending too much of our time and money on telling people about the $3000, celebrity baby bag. We're spending way too little on educating others about real suffering, what it's like and how to improve it. It's a simple idea but a difficult problem to fix. We need to find more ways to turn heads away from smut, toward real problems.

More along these lines:
"Are we Tired of Being Stupid Yet?",
"Some of us Would Like to Apologize to the Rest of the World",
and for an outside view, our local Homeless Empowerment Project,
"Real Change".

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Are we Tired of Being Stupid Yet?

2011-04-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try something new here, letting photos do most of the talking in a blog entry. My family and Grace's family have both seen too much death and chronic illness. And recently, Grace has lost her father. Between that and the hardship that my illness has caused, we feel directly connected to other people in similar situations. Personally knowing a few soldiers and a few police officers pushes those connections even deeper.

There's a public garden in Downtown Seattle that I visit sometimes. It's a memorial to war vets and their loved ones. The other day I was walking through and decided to take some shots. I felt these pictures and the words in them could be just as powerful as anything ever written. I hope others will feel the shock and loss that we feel when we read them.

What bothers me most about this park is that, I rarely see people walking through it or even taking notice from the sidewalk. It's a simple piece of information but is proof of this country's lack of focus on many hidden realities. I imagine that makes the loved ones of these soldiers feel left behind as many of us do who are sick and in need of help. It's too easy to find vets that feel the same way.

If you click on any of the pictures, you will see a full version that is not overrun with elements on the side of the blog.

Apologies to Vietnam vets. Though it is listed in the garden and is hugely important, I was not able to find a clear enough picture.

More reading on this subject:
"Don't Worry, Everything Dies" and,
"Some of us Would Like to Apologize to the Rest of the World"

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Find The Right Doctors, Without Taking 9 Years to do it

2011-04-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

Before I became chronically ill I looked at doctors the same way lots of other people I know, still do. I figured they all had been through enough education and experience to completely understand the human body. I assumed they were all willing and creative troubleshooters. I found out differently the hard way.

Yes, all doctors have learned a great deal about the human body. They have all been through lots of education and personal sacrifice. But, there are those patients who's symptoms don't fit the books or collective experience. That's where things can get ugly. I know this personally. I spent a good 9 years with symptoms that mostly fit several diseases or disorders, but never totally fit just one. That's how long it took to find the right care and get real answers.

Because of my Autonomic Nervous System damage not being a widely known disorder, many of my previous doctors just threw their hands up and kept saying "I don't know what's wrong with you". It fooled the Cardiologists because my heart is healthy and strong and yet it still doesn't work right. The "wiring harness" that carries the signals from my brain to my heart is damaged. So the signals don't always get to my heart correctly. It's the same way with my other Autonomic functions like digestion, blood pressure and pain response. They're all whacko and have fooled almost every doctor before now.

I've had many doctors in the past. They were knowledgeable about textbook cases. Anything from the common Flu to Cancer would send the average patient home with plenty of info and a clear course of action. But when people like me come along, everything can turn on a dime. My symptoms have always required out-of-the-box thinking. Many doctors are not there. Many are fine with helping the average person, then passing the odd ball off from doctor to doctor. Mainly because they're not creative problem solvers. They're not connecting the symptoms to the cause because the path hasn't been laid out before them.

It's like my blog. I know it well, not just the writing you see, but the controls that are behind the scenes. I have buttons and code areas I use for things like color, italic writing or creating links to other posts. Sometimes I come across challenges that have not been clearly documented. I could give up and forget about what it is I want to do here. That behavior would leave my blog in the dust. Instead I look through all the possible tools that I can use together to overcome whatever challenge I want to. Most doctors... I mean, most people chose to stop trying when they hit a wall. Click here to read "Fear is an Option" for more info.

If you are seeing any doctors, you have to remember that they're just as human as the rest of us. They can fall into the same kind of comfort zones anyone else can. Also remember this, that they are getting paid to bring you a service. Like anyone on any payroll, you can "fire" any doctor who is not meeting your needs. Your medical records and treatment can follow you to any new doctor. It's not convenient but it's better than "I don't know". And once you find and keep the right doctors who fit your needs and personality, you won't have to deal with the search anymore.

I'm keeping my current set of doctors. It's because they are the ones who've finally figured out what is happening to me. Now there is no one who can doubt my illness, other than Social Security but that's a whole other entry. I have this advantage because I never gave up the search. I don't allow myself to get locked down to a doctor if they're not getting me anywhere.

For more good reading on how to take control of your own care, click...
"How to Navigate Illness",
"Dealing With Average", and
"I was Ashamed of Being Sick, Not Anymore".

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Fear is an Option

2011-04-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

Fear has been overblown for, who knows how long. It is directly damaging to our natural programming to explore and reinvent ourselves. I don't believe it's meant to stop us from doing new things, as much as many of us let it. It's a natural mechanism that is there to remind us to take it slow and be informed when entering into the unknown. With respect, caution and creativity, any exploration can be productive and fun. This is important for anyone but especially when a person is sick and is forced to explore new paths.

It's unnatural to have no fears at all. But, what we often don't know is that it's unnatural to be stagnant, to stay in one place for nothing but comfort and safety. We could have chosen to stay away from outer space. It's a dangerous type of exploration that has claimed many lives. Still, our will to explore it was not broken by that fear. Many of us simply didn't listen to the impossibilities that were pushed our way by those who are too fearful. Because we continue to go further into space, we all have better lives from the technology that has trickled down.

Thing is, many people choose to stay in the same routines and stop exploring too early. When is it too late to explore this world and improve your own life? When you're dead. Want to learn more? Click here to read "The Plastic Brain and how to Use it".

Vultures, people who choose to use fear to keep others where they want them. Click here to read more about them in "A Vulture for Every... Thing". It sells. There's the 40 foot banner with the model that only eats once a day, hanging outside the clothing store. It makes many people afraid to have a healthy body weight and to not fit clothing the way the person in the picture does. Some religions (notice I said "some") tell people that, if they don't attend and give they will spend an eternity suffering. Creditors promote the American lifestyle. People fear not having everything they want right now. That's why, with interest attached to borrowed credit, we are fine with paying way more than something is worth.

We spend lots of time looking at what happens when we give in to fear. We get the new TV this month instead of next. One person can easily ignore the next who needs help, because they've been taught to fear the way that person looks or behaves. Many people still use sayings like "That's just the way it is" so they don't have to face the fear of self improvement. Click here to read "Dealing With Average" for more on this.

Fear is most often the only barrier between us and exploration, happiness and deep relationships. One person may fear letting a partner get too close, because they've been hurt before. Just because of fear, they miss chances to find meaningful relationships. Maybe no one told them there are ways to sort the weak possibilities from the strong. Now they end up either never experiencing closeness with someone, or believing they are not cut out for relationships. But in the end the fear of faulty relationships is the only thing keeping them from the truth. I used to think that way until I read "Are You The One For Me?" by Barbara De Angelis. Good book. I highly recommend it. I learned how to look for the right person and stopped being afraid of the process.

Think about the lab rat. What freedom does he have to explore and find needs for himself? None really. He's been taught some very basic, limited behavior. Push the handle, out comes the pellet. Want more? Looking for exploration? Sorry. Push the handle, out comes the pellet.

Many of us are being spoon-fed pellets of information. "Don't explore and find answers yourself. Just come push the button and we will give you the answer you need right now.". Then, "I see you need more answers to life's issues. Come push the button again and we will feed you just what you need now.". It's gotten so deep that many of us accept the comfort zone and forget about it.

What really burns me about it is that every one of us has the potential to explore on our own. Just as much as the next person. Just as much as any leader. The only thing stopping anyone is fear. We get deep into a comfort zone and it becomes easier and easier to forget our own potential. Once we forget, we leave ourselves open to any one of the many people and organizations who have a reason to exploit it.

Here's a good example. I have the option to say "There are very fearful things about being chronically ill. Come explore what I've written in my blog. You'll find all the answers here. If you don't, just ask me and I'll address your problem with everything you need to know." Or, I can say "You have the potential to find your own answers. There are many sources that can help you tailor your own morals and standards, based on your individualism. My only guiding advice is to not listen when someone tells you to be afraid to explore. Don't take it for fact when someone tells you they have all the answers". I haven't met a human yet that is as all-knowing and all-seeing as many try to present themselves. Realistically, the concept is pretty silly.

I have the chance to lead others by spoon feeding. Fear is actually quite easy to manipulate. Instead I believe more in the power of individuals learning to lead themselves. I have no desire to control the world. I see amazing potential in everyone becoming their own leader. While it may not get me what I want today, less fear will eventually equal more resources for everyone tomorrow. I'd rather stand side by side with people than above them.

It's not easy to stop being afraid of what others tell you to fear. It is completely possible. I know 'cause I've been on both sides of the issue. The information many of us attempt to control is everywhere. Books, libraries, some limited amounts of media, some teachers and so on. Start there. Read up on all the points of view that you've been told to avoid. Look for answers from every source you can find. Compare the different information and find your own connections within it. It doesn't mean you have to become something else. It just means you have the right to know where others stand and why. Everyone has valid experience and deserves to be heard.

Even though it took time, I'm glad I started exploring on my own. I've felt much more powerful now that I've gotten above the smoke screen of "Fear what we tell you to. Do what we say and we will protect you from that fear.". Isn't that called "extortion"?

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No Post This Week

2011-04-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

Just taking a much needed break for a week.

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Products I Use And Trust to Help With Disability, And a Tip For Cane Users.

2011-03-30T19:57:00.000-07:00

Even though we don't all share the same illness, there are commonalities between them. Many symptoms are shared. The following is a list of things that have the potential to help anyone feel better. I back these products because, either I've used them, or they are recommended by people I trust. If you click on a product in any of my blog entries and then purchase that product, I get a kickback. Gotta try to pay the bills somehow.

For itching. Meds alone can cause this. For me it's pretty intense. Every day after my shower I put Eucerin Dry Skin Therapy Calming Creme on the areas that give me the most trouble. It has reduced this symptom by at least 80%. I also recommend these other Eucerin products. I've also had good luck with Aveeno Active Naturals Skin Relief Moisturizing Lotion and have had other Aveeno products recommended.

Protecting Liver and Kidneys from medication. In the past I've have had good luck with Nature's Way, Milk Thistle. There are other Milk Thistle products like the ones listed here that I have not tried. I've found a product that helps me more, Nature's Way, Schizandra Fruit. I can tell you they both work from experience. I suggest being cautious with this product in that, it cleans the liver and kidneys of everything, including meds. I learned to only take them in the morning, at least an hour or 2 before taking any meds. If I take it later, or with meds, it makes the meds much less effective. Ask a doctor and/or pharmacist first. It is just a fruit extract so it should be harmless. You can find other Schizandra products here. For more info on meds, click both of my entries, "The Medication Disease" and "Maximize Your Meds".

Maintaining weight and regularity. I use Yerba Prima psyllium husk capsules. Without them, my meds can cause regularity problems. I also use them to help maintain my weight, especially since I can't be active enough. There are other types and brands of fiber found here. You may find that powder or other types work better for you. When taking capsules, it is hugely important that you follow the directions. Not taking the recommended amount of water with them can cause them to be stuck in the esophagus.

Help with sleep. I cannot suggest medicine for this. That would be a question for your doctor. What I can suggest are products that help without medication. We use a lot of lavender, like the candles found here. There are also Lavender sprays, Lavender teas and Lavender oils. We burn the candles around an hour before bed just to get the smell going. I've never tried it but I've had people recommend using a little Vicks Vaporub ointment. I've heard it has a calming effect. For lots of tips on sleep, read my entry called "How do you Sleep?".

Get Naked. If I feel really bad and can't eat much, I sometimes buy Naked Juice. It's a great pick-me-up and is full of helpful nutrients, without a bunch of preservatives. They taste really good, like a fresh smoothie. I've posted a link to the Amazon store but they're pretty expensive there. Often times you can also find these on sale at your local grocery for much less.

Cinnamon. It is said to have antibacterial qualities and promote good digestion. It also has anti-clotting and anti-melanoma effects, as well as other benefits. 1/2 teaspoon a day is recommended. I sprinkle organic Cinnamon on toast and in applesauce but you can also buy it in capsule and other forms here.

Do you walk with a cane? I prefer a single-tipped, folding cane. It really comes in handy when I need to put it into smaller spaces, like at a restaurant. Some people use the kind that have a four-legged extension at the bottom. This helps it stay upright but takes up more room and weighs more. Here's what I do to overcome these problems;

1. I bought a folding cane with a single tip, like this one. You will need a new tip every 4-6 months which you can find here. (make sure you select the right size for your cane).
2. Next I bought a pack of retractable ID badge holders like these.
3. I picked up some lithium grease. Any of these tubes will work. A standard ID badge holder without the grease will break in a matter of days when used in this way. With the grease, it will last weeks or even months.
4. Got some medical gloves like these.
5. Pulled off a paper towel.
6. Got some baggies like Ziploc.

I keep gloves, a few paper towels, an old pill bottle with some grease in it and extra badge holders in a baggie, in my back pack. This way, no matter where I am I can replace a broken badge holder. I've become addicted to having the cane work so easily. It took me a bit of time to learn to baby the string. It would occasionally break by getting caught in a jacket zipper or something similar.

The step-by-step:

1. Attach a badge holder to something stationary so you can pull the string in and out.

2. Put on a pair of the gloves. Put a dab of grease on only one of your thumbs then rub it around between it and your pointer finger. Use one hand to pull the string out. With the other hand, put the string between your thumb and pointer with the grease on them. Rub the grease all the way up and down the string thoroughly to let it soak in.

As you do this, pull the string in and out several times so the grease gets inside the plastic piece. Wipe off any excess grease that may have gotten on plastic pieces that may touch clothing.

3. Now attach the badge holder to your cane. Keep it up high, near the handle.

4. Now attach the main piece of the badge holder with the clip to your belt or pants top. When you need to rest the cane, put it all the way to your side near the clip. It will rest there without falling and you'll barely notice it when you need to pull it out to walk with it. You don't have to take it off to walk. The string will just pull in and out as it's needed.

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The Positive Effects of Efficiency

2011-03-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

We can save fuel by driving an automobile more efficiently. Save time at your desk by organizing your to do items. This is an important concept that can help anyone, especially someone dealing with disability (sick, caring for someone, or just curious). The more you learn about smoother ways to perform everyday tasks, the more energy you'll have for healing and doing fun things. I've saved myself a lot of time by adjusting only a handful of routines.

When the body is so damaged, every little thing counts. Think about a Boeing 767 passenger plane. The wings can flex tremendously, so the heavy airplane can handle changes in movement and atmosphere. This is normal. But, what if someone went out and drilled holes in the wings, then put a bunch of good dents in the fuselage (body) with a sledgehammer?

It may still fly, but not without taking a lot of weight off of it. It wouldn't be able to make normal turns or climbs. It would could only carry the bare minimum fuel. The plane would have to be babied to have any kind of chance in the air. Unfortunately, disability often means we have to seriously limit physical activities and baby our bodies due to damage. The good news here is that we can do this everywhere. Out walking, shopping, inside the home. Here are some more examples:

Identify areas that may have room for adjustment. Getting ready for my day is a good example.

I used to go back and forth. Get out of bed, go in the bathroom and drop a few quick pounds (you have three guesses to figure that one out), wash hands. Go back in the bedroom to get glasses and phone left near the bed. Take them into the kitchen while taking meds, eating snack, leave them there. Go to bathroom to shave, brush teeth, take shower. Next it was back into the kitchen to get glasses and phone. Bring glasses back to bathroom to clean with damp shower towel. Pretty inefficient. Sometimes frustrating. Never time saving.

I was just reacting to my routine, saying to myself, "this reminds me to do that," at almost every step. Now instead of reacting as I continue my routine, I set the routine up before I ever put it in gear. It reacts to me. Glasses and phone stay in my pocket, from the moment I get up until I take a shower. The kitchen is now my first stop, then every bathroom related activity is done all at once. It saves leg work.

Intertwine activities. Let's say I have 2 major goals for the next hour. One is to edit some photos on my Mac. The other is to post them on-line for friends to see. After editing 25 huge files, now my photo software, Aperture, has to export them into a smaller format that I can use for the Internet. I could sit and wait for 3-4 minutes for the export, or I could use that time to sign in to my photo sharing account and get to the upload page. I could also use the time to address some envelopes, clean up my desk or any other small tasks. Again, it's not much to start with, but if I do something like that 10 times, I could save 30-40 minutes a day. That's 2 episodes of Trailer Park Boys!

Be aware. Think of it like stepping out of your body. If you were a spectator to your own life, what would you see yourself doing?

Change your environment. Keep things organized. All meds in one container or bag. I use Ziploc or Hefty zip bags and place them in my back pack. All items used for daily activities can be placed in easy to find areas. This is also beneficial for other reasons, as in my entry called "Be Prepared For Emergency".

Count your energy. Figure out a basic average of the time you spend on activities that require more movement, like traveling or visiting friends. If you can start there and try to keep yourself to that limit at all times, you may find more energy or feel better in general. I know if I leave the apartment to go anywhere, I will probably have "X" amount of time to travel. I know I can't put all that time into one moment. I have to take breaks. Sometimes it's a matter of a "X" minute break, after "X" minutes of walking. Sometimes it's about taking "X" number of days inside, after "X" number of days out.

Overtime, I've learned to judge my limits, make my routines more efficient, and take scheduled breaks. I stick to my guidelines even if I feel like I can do more. It doesn't always work, but it does help me keep things a bit more predictable. It also makes me feel a bit less sick, and gives me a bit more reserve energy for life's unexpected moments.

You may not get it right, right away. I didn't. But keep at it and you'll have one more great tool for the toolbox.

Love the Rain, Get Some Rest

2011-03-15T16:21:00.000-07:00

We spend a lot of our lives looking for the perfect scenes. We most often admire our situations and our environment, when we see things like smiling faces, blue skies, and 70 degree temps. What about the other stuff? An example: we may not be naturally comfortable in the cold or wet, but it's just as important to where we live as any other weather.

Sometimes I just want to be out of the rain, the snow, or the challenging situation I'm in. After moments like the past 2 weeks, where I'm stuck inside and sometimes bedridden for days, I have a different attitude. More reading, "Every Cloud... Tips on Building a Smaller World" and "Getting to Know Your Bed". Now just being outside and feeling fresh air is a big plus. The rain is no different. Even if it's not ideal to get wet, it's still nice to feel it. I used to think, "Damn rain! I'm working so hard to stay dry!" Now I think ,"I have plenty of chances to be warm and dry. I may not get many chances to touch the rain."

We have a choice of how we feel about any situation we're in. We can highlight the good, the bad, or any combination of those. It's not about repeating: "this is good, this is good...", or tacking affirmations on the mirror until you've convinced yourself out of sheer habit. It's about learning the mechanics of what's going on inside or around us. We have a better connection to things as we understand them more.

I think about how we need all of our challenges for different things: the rain, to carry water to land-based life. Very simply put, a lot of things we need and admire would die without it. Why wouldn't I think "thank you" instead of "____ you"? I don't appreciate things as much if I don't go out and be a part of them. Therefore, I'm grateful to be wet in the rain.

This life does not easily offer rest to all of us. Some of us have to dig down into less obvious places, especially when we're disabled and the physical world keeps getting smaller. Read "Work, 24/7. Paycheck, 0/0." for more info. This is where the choice of how we feel about something gets really handy. It's not always easy. It's not always hard. Sometimes it takes lots of work, like learning to deal with the loss of physical abilities. Sometimes it's as easy as understanding something better, like the need for all types of weather.

Every moment we have can be an open door to a better place. It's also an example of how we can find rest where it seems there is none. If I spend the moment pissed off because I'm wet, that's the opposite of restful. I'm using my physical and emotional energy to go over how bad the rain is. It's not just about me. It also affects the people around me. That stuff is contagious.

If I switch it around and think about how it's nice to relax and feel the rain, that moment becomes restful. I've "made peace" with something that used to bother me more. I pass that moment up and bank it as a small amount of rest. It's not just beneficial to build it up, it also helps lay the groundwork for the next moment. This holds huge potential for a snowball effect. It can be momentous in a bad or good way.

There's no one outside of me that can control this. No other person leads my exact life, so I'm responsible for learning about mine. I choose which parts of my situation to build my actions on. That's individualism. If you're like me, it's a tough thing to go from complaining to appreciating. Like anything else in life, if we take it in steps we don't have to worry about gambling on a leap. If you're interested, just try it once on anything small you feel bad about. If you keep working on it, eventually you'll have more experience under your belt which makes it much easier. Click here to read "The Plastic Brain and How to use it" for more info.

I still struggle with it, but I've done it enough times to know it can help in some of the worst situations. One more tool in the box.

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We're sorry Layne and Mike

2011-03-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

Just hopped on Facebook and found this, Alice in Chains' Bassist found dead...
http://www.kirotv.com/news/27125777/detail.html

For those who may need a refresher, Alice in Chains hit big around the early 1990s. The more popular songs were "Rooster", "No Excuses" and "Man in the Box". Their lyrics and sounds were driven by hardship. Drug addiction and the stress of fighting for a decent life were among many things they wrote about. Much of their sound was fast paced and hard. Many songs were the opposite: slow, melodic and very insightful. Not everyone's style but I've always been a big fan.

I've known since I was a teenager back then that, as powerful as lyrics like these are, there are still way too many of us who don't hear them, or don't want to hear them.

From their song titled "Nutshell", lyrics include "We face misprinted lies. We face the path of time." It speaks to how many of us are led to believe what we see in media is right. The billboard of the model who doesn't eat enough. The little piece of paper Social Security sends people at the end of the year, saying what you get if you ever need it. These kinds of things are doing serious damage to all of us, every moment of every day.

In another song called "No Excuses" we hear "Drained and blue, I bleed for you. You think it's funny, well you're drowning in it too." Hello to those who think their poor behavior is not affecting their own self and circle of people!

"Holding rare flowers in a tomb" comes from the song "Down in a Hole". To me it says, here lies yet another one of us who had the knowledge that things need to change, but didn't have the resources or education to do it in time.

Layne Staley (original lead vocalist) died from drug use. As of the posting time of this entry, there has been no publicly announced cause of death for Mike Star (original bassist). Please do not misunderstand me. Until it is announced, no one has the right to say he probably died of drug use, because no one knows. It's not fair to assume that. Whatever the cause of death, we should have the respect to remember what he contributed to his fans and then some. That, along with respect to his loved ones, should be our first concern.

In spite of their deaths, we need to understand their lives and what they've lost to the race. The need for relief from some of life's most painful moments is nothing to take lightly. Neither is the grip that these drugs can have over someone who can't find the way out.

Like I said in "We're All Sick", we all have our burdens that come from a lack of information. Layne and Mike were no different. Neither are those who have become hooked on recreational drugs or alcohol and are still engaged in that battle today. The more people I meet who've had issues with drugs and alcohol, the more I respect their own illness and the hell that put many of them there.

I used to work near a Meth clinic. I've stopped to speak to some of the patients there and have found their stories to be just as gut wrenching as any person who is chronically ill. I spoke to 1 man who spent time as a Marine in Iraq. He and his group witnessed a 13 year old boy, child soldier, killed in a gun battle. The kid had fired a fully automatic weapon, causing the need for self-defense. This guy couldn't let go of the fact that he was still a kid, plain and simple. After seeing this and other tragedies, he and his group had come across recreational drugs. Some, if not all had used them as a way to try to numb what they've seen.

As in "Some of us Would Like to Apologize to the Rest of the World" this is one more example of our culture putting people in bad situations without giving them the resources to deal. Send someone to war. Let them put their life on the line for us. Put them through horrible, life changing events. Then make them fight on their own, to try to make some peace with the unimaginable things they've seen.

Of course there are those who have a cushy life and just want to be one of the cool people with a bottle in hand and a baggie full of pills in pocket. That doesn't erase those who have found drugs or alcohol for different reasons. Many people are never educated on how to dig down and find ways to deal with painful baggage. Many people never meet real teachers who know how to reach people where they are, instead of the opposite.

I'm not so sure drug abuse and alcohol abuse are diseases by themselves. I believe they are side effects of another disease. This one is created from a lack of education and support for those who are suffering and feeling lost. It's owned by all of us but not all of us acknowledge that.

Our programs to help those in need are shaky at best. Many are based in run down buildings, staffed by people who are overwhelmed, trying to help without enough resources. This issue and others like it should be an absolute emergency. We should be stockpiling resources to help those who need it, addicted or chronically ill. There should be a huge budget and a feverish pace to educate and rescue. Instead, we often just read the articles and move on. I detail this more in "We're Still Worth it".

We didn't just lose a singer and a bassist. We lost 2 people who knew a lot about what is wrong and had a lot of power to help people understand it. We lost 2 people who'd just established the power of having thousands of people stand up and share their words, in this case through music.

Music made by real artists that spells out some of our worst moments is a good start. How much more could people like Layne and Mike do, if they had made it to better ground? They could have reached back for the people who are still stuck behind.

That's why those of us who need any type of extended help are worth it. We've learned the hard way. The power of having help from others, who've made it through what we are still faced with, is enormous. Many people don't seem to realize the one thing that brings it full circle. No matter where you are in life, you may start down a bad path and not even know it until you're in it up to your hips. It's not the easy side of the fight either.

It's very simple and does not go away when we try to pass it up. Every single time we lose someone to a lack of action, we fail.

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E-mail Subscription Troubles

2011-03-03T20:11:00.000-08:00

While trying to sort out subscribers, I lost several e-mail addys. If you are no longer getting feeds, please re-enter your e-mail addy to the right of this entry. Sorry about the inconvenience.

- Shawn

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