life or something like it

Ipsy Glam Bag August 2019 pt. 2 (not sponsored)

2019-08-23T16:24:00.001-05:00

Head Covering

2018-11-15T20:32:00.000-06:00

As I shared with you before, I have began covering in prayer and prophecy as according to Paul's teachings in 1 Corinthians 11. I love it! Every day I choose to wear something over my hair (which is slowly growing back). I choose to do this. Nobody makes me do it. Sometimes, okay a lot of times, I wear a covering all day because one never knows when one might find themselves in prayer. So I cover according to Scripture.

I love head covering so much more than I ever thought I would. All my life I have had a secret desire to wear veils, not unlike Catholic Nuns do. This goes in line with my also secret desire to actually be a Nun. However, I am not Catholic, and Baptists don't necessarily have an equivalent. Turns out, I really want is to be closer to God. When I shaved my head, I suddenly felt "naked". Don't get me wrong, I thought and still think the shaved head look was pretty awesome, and I was happy to be able to donate all of my hair. But this feeling of being naked or uncovered really drove me into the scriptures and prayer. Lots of prayer. So I started covering, and the more that I covered the more I felt in line with God's Will. So my love of covering has grown with that.

Things have changed since I started covering, and for the better. How I react/interact with my husband has changed: I don't get mad so easily, I don't blow up quite like I had, and I have noticed a difference in my attitude when I am not wearing a covering vs. when I am. I am more aware of how I should respond because I am wearing this symbol of authority on my head. I feel more focused on God when I am praying. I don't feel the fear and anxiety that I did before. I KNOW that God is in control. I mean, I've always known that, but now I feel like I really KNOW it. Change is good, don't you think?

Okay, so some of you might have gotten this far and are still thinking "She's oppressed! She's being controlled by a man! etc. etc." No. I'm not. This was my choice, and my husband supports it. In fact, his response was "It's your head, do what you want." Well, my head allows me to show that I choose to be under authority, just like my wedding band shows that I choose to be married to my husband. Here's the order of authority: God - Jesus - Man - Woman. It's a respect thing, not a control thing. I know that I cannot explain it exactly right, so I am going to leave some book titles and websites for you to check out for a better understanding. There are also youtube videos that are easily searchable.

-Head Covering: A Forgotten Christian Practice For Modern Times by Jeremy Gardiner

-Glories Seen and Unseen by Warren Henderson

-Covered Glory by David Phillips

Head Covering Movement

Radical Christian Woman

The Journey of Hair continues, still.

2018-09-02T19:57:00.001-05:00

Here we are in September, barely. The weather isn't quite reaching 100° F anymore, just 90+. The leaves have been changing around here for a few weeks though. Very slowly, but still noticeable. I suppose the dry hot summer had something to do with that. All weather talk aside, let's get to the main topic as of late. As I previously may have stated, I shaved my head, and subsequently started wearing hats and scarves. I'm not sure if I was very clear on all that. I know I mentioned 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, where Paul writes in regards to men and women praying and prophesying, head coverings, the order of men, women, Christ, and God, and submission.
Now, before you get all feminist on me, hear me out. When I say submission, I am not talking about being a mindless slave to my husband. I am talking about loving and respecting him, as he should love and respect Christ. A few good reads that might help explain things better than I are "Head Covering" by Jane Worsley and Hazel Dixon, "Covered Glory" by David Philllips, and "Glories Seen & Unseen" by Warren Henderson. These amazing authors give great detail into the study of 1 Corinthians 11, breaking it down verse by verse, giving word studies and cultural/historical background. I am not going to rehash what they have already said in a much better way than I ever could.
Since initially shaving my head, I have felt called to veil, or cover. Not only do I cover when at church, I cover most all day. In part for modesty, and in part for simple obedience to God. Currently, I wear bandanas and pre-tied head scarfs by ShariRose. There are other styles that I like, and am eager to try a few more to see what works for me. Last week I ordered the Signature Shaper from Wrapunzel, and have collected a few scarves to wear with it. It should arrive in a couple days. Let's hope I can master wrapping. I'll try to post pictures soon.

The Journey of Hair, continued...

2018-05-20T10:53:00.003-05:00

It has been six weeks since my first shave. I have since shaved four more times. (Wow, this feels like I'm in confessional.) The third time, my husband was here to assist. Since he really likes the style on me, it was nice to have his help in it. That was Friday evening. Here we are on Sunday, exactly six weeks since I first started this, and I decided to go all the way. I took my razor to my head. The hair I had was very short, like sandpaper. OMG, shaving that was NOTHING like shaving my legs. This was more like shaving a porcupine! Wow! Don't think I'll be doing that again.

I continue to get good comments about my shaved head. A few look at me like I have a second head growing on my shoulder (queue scene from "How To Get Ahead in Advertising"). I have had a few people, mostly from church, who asked if I was sick/going through chemo. They were so relieved when I told them no. I have found that even those who aren't too keen on the shaved head idea, soften when I tell them that I donated the hair to Children With Hair loss.
Some people really like that hats that I sometimes wear. :) I have a couple cloche hats that I got from Amazon, this one, and this one. In fact, I think I need/want to buy one in blue. Next month, I am going with our church's youth group to a Baptist summer camp for 5 days. I plan on taking a nice assortment of head scarves and various types of coverings. Partly to protect my head from the sun, and partly for modesty. Something I have noticed about wearing scarves and bandannas is the bristly scalp acts like velcro to them.
I watched a video on youtube yesterday that really struck me. In it, the young woman talked about why she shaved her head a second time. She said that she had received comments from girls with alopecia or going through chemo, who said it really gave them the encouragement to face the day without feeling like their hair, or lack there of, defined them or was the only thing that made them beautiful. So to every girl, every woman facing hair loss, here's to you. You are beautiful with or without hair.

Further realizations and questions about hair and faith

2018-04-17T11:19:00.001-05:00

I have to say, some of the reasons I gave for shaving my head, are so true. The amount of time I now take in getting ready has decreased drastically. I haven't touched the shampoo or conditioner in a week and a half. Sorry *Pantene.

However, there are some drawbacks and insights to this too.

1. My head gets cold very easily.
A. Solution: wear a hat or scarf on my head.
1. Plus: variety is fun, and I have an excuse to increase my hat and scarf collection.
2. Minus: after a while, it gets to be bothersome.
B. Babies' heads get cold. Even if they aren't complaining about it, because they haven't figured that part out, their little head is cold. Cover it up. I have always been bothered by seeing new babies with no hat to keep their heads warm. Now that I have no hair to protect my head, I really am bothered by the sight of a baby without a hat. It's not summertime yet, y'all.
2. My head gets hot easily when it's warm outside and the sun is beating down.
A. Solution: Sunblock and/or light hat
B. Minus: I live in Texas, and the weather changes constantly.

Here's an odd one I bet you never thought about: In searching for head covers to keep my head warm, protect it from the sun, and provide an amount of modesty to my head when needed (like in prayer), I have found that most coverings suitable for a woman with no hair, are marketed toward cancer patients. Every one I have searched on Amazon has been labeled a "chemo cap". Hmmm.

Final thought for today: in 1 Corinthians 11:2-15, the focus of men and women's hair and coverings seems to revolve around when praying and prophesying. Nothing mentioned, that I see, about just normal every day life. So that being said, why is it that so many of the conservative Christian women that wear head coverings, wear them all the time, not just in prayer and prophecy? Is there an additional reason that is in the Bible or is this simply a tradition that they choose to do regardless of what the Bible says? Curiosity here, not criticizing.

A Christian Woman's Journey of Hair

2018-04-15T19:51:00.000-05:00

I have a bucket list. I'm willing to bet you do too. Learn a new language. Visit a foreign country. Take up a new hobby. Get a degree in something I'll probably never utilize. Do something out of my comfort zone. Read all those books on my "100 books you should read before you die." One of my bucket list items has been to shave my head.

Now, I have been growing my hair out for the past two years or so, and it was getting to a nice length. Not long, but just past my shoulders. I had aspirations of having it down to my rump. I stopped coloring it, preferring to let the gray show as it comes in. But every time I got a head ache, I would wonder "would this hurt so much if I cut off my hair?" I would think to myself that if someone I knew ever went through chemo or something, I would cut my hair in solidarity with them.

Then one day, I had this powerful urge to cut it all off. Donate it, and shave it. It was either that, or dye it blue. My hair stylist convinced me it would be a bad idea, and too high maintenance. I talked about it with my husband. I mentioned it to my mom. Then, I called my friend, and asked her to come help me shave my head. I ignored the voice in my head saying "Sarah, your hair is your covering. It is your crowning glory. Don't you think this might make God sad?"

Sunday of last week, I shaved my head. Okay, let's back up a little while I take you through the process:

This is how things were looking just before I cut it all off:

1. I started with clean combed hair.

2. I sectioned the hair into five sections, tying each one off in tiny hair bands.

3. I cut just between the scalp and the hair bands. (The second set of bands half way down each pony tail was there for added measure.) Now, I could have simply evened this out, and been done with it. But.....I didn't. Here's the hair, once it was cut off and bagged. I know it doesn't look like much, but in that quart size bag is all of my hair.

PSA: This, with a bag of hair I had intended to donate on a previous occasion, was sent two days later to www.childrenwithhairloss.us where children experiencing hair loss, whether from cancer, alopecia, etc. can receive a wig designed for them, at no cost to the family.

4. I went over my head with the clippers, using the #8 or 1" guard. Now, I could have stopped at this point. But let's face it. I'm all in. And this is a bucket list item. Might as well check it off now. So I put on the #1 or 1/8" guard, and started shaving my head.

Here is the final result. Turns out, I have a great shaped head for this. Wearing hats is more exciting. I have a few new ones now.

So, that was a week ago. Here we are at Sunday again, and I have shaved my head again, because my hair likes to grow. I tried to go blonde once, and after 4 days, my roots were showing, I decided blonde was too high maintenance. Here I am with a shaved head, wondering is this something I will keep up with? I don't know. Because today, I started having an attack of the Christian conscience.

Now, before I get into that, let me side step a moment and say that I got so many compliments on the hat I wore. It was a purple cloche hat that I found on Amazon. FYI, the colors shown on Amazon, are not necessarily indicative of what you will actually get. Just a general guideline. Either way, it is a very pretty hat.

Okay, back to the attack of Christian conscience. After church I started looking online at more hats and coverings that I might use. See, as a Christian, I do follow the tenant that says a woman's head should be covered during prayer. Since I don't have hair to cover my head at the moment, I need some...options. Multiple options (wink, wink). +++ I can hear some of you saying, "But Sarah, your hair isn't your covering. A hat or scarf...is your covering. You're reading the scripture all wrong!" I am still working that part out. Which brings me back to my point. I was looking for hats, when I came across Radical Christian Woman which talks about whether Christian women should wear a head covering. As I started to read this site, as well as The Head Covering Movement, I began to think about that little voice I had ignored the week before. Have I dishonored God by shaving my head? What were my reasons for shaving my head anyway?

I had previously told myself anything that would make my actions acceptable and even logical. Shaving my head would cut down on my shower time and getting ready time. It would eliminate the need for hair care products completely. It's a bucket list item, and it's less permanent than a tattoo. It would make donating my hair so much easier. Hindsight is an odd thing. After I shaved my head, and after I had several people ask me why I did it, I realized the truth. My answer, in all honesty, is control. After losing my father this past December, my Grandmother last year, and almost losing my mother in January, plus every other thing that has been going on that I had no control over, I needed to feel a sense of power. Of control. I needed to know that there was one thing that was in my hands. I know it seems silly. Control over hair. It sounds like such a small thing. But did you look at those pictures? That is NOT a small thing. It's a huge thing.

Once I had that realization, came the question: Did I just dishonor God by taking control? Did I just rebel or prove myself unfaithful? Good questions. That is the journey I find myself on now. So stick around, as I seek to discover the answer to those questions and these: Who am I without my hair? Does my hair or lack thereof define my relationship with The Father? Was there truly any braveness or nobility in the act of shaving my head or just a spirit of rebellion? I do not ask you to shave your head. That is only and always a personal decision. Just, pray for me that I will hear God's voice and understand His Word as I move forward.

Laugh when you should cry

2016-05-04T01:49:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you laugh when it's not funny. Sometimes that's all you can do because if you don't, you can't help but be swallowed up by what is really going on. Because what's really going on is so overwhelming at that moment, and if you don't laugh, you're liable to cry and you don't know if you will be able to stop.

We are in the middle of a job change. Let me tell you something: it's scary. I know that God has us. I know that we will be ok. But change is scary, and sometimes fear and doubt creep in where they don't belong. Tonight I am awake when I should be asleep. My stomach is irritated. My mind racing. Yet I know that this physical reaction to an emotional distress will prove to be fruitless. If not for the now lack of desire for that coveted ice cream. See? Already a light.

Erasing History

2015-06-25T09:50:00.004-05:00

I do not watch or listen to the news much, but sometimes it is hard to avoid the headlines. In the past year/s there have been an increase in news reports of police brutality, specifically towards "black" people. Most recently, an attack on a predominately "black" church. Along with this is a influx of people (political leaders) saying we need to deal with racism: delete specific words or phrases from our speech, be more inclusive, do away with stereotypes, etc. Ban the Confederate flag. Demolish the Confederate memorial carving from Stone Mountain.

Before I get to my point, let me preface by saying that racism is bad and just plain moronic. Slavery was bad and should have never happened. (Though historians will neglect to teach that Africans were initially enslaved by their own people, a trend that was later picked up by Europeans.) I do not, nor have I ever, thought that any human should be judged based on the color of their skin. The same applies for gender.

Now, horrible and tragic things have happened in human history. As Americans, our country has seen and continues to have less than stellar moments. Those moments in time that we look back and wish that we could try again to do it right, to correct those mistakes. We cannot though. What we can do is teach our history to our children and grandchildren. We can show them how humans went wrong, and how to live better. In order to do that, we have to keep that history fresh in our memories. Hiding from it isn't going to help. Pretending it didn't happen will not change anything. How are we supposed to learn?

There are a couple of petitions out right now trying to order the ban of Confederate flags and removal of the Confederate memorial carving. Why? Because it's offensive. I say, that in doing this, you become the ostrich with it's head stuck in the sand. Pretend it didn't happen. Well guess what? It did. And it was horrible. Now some people see the monument and say this war happened and we lost. A lot of people died fighting for something that they believed in. Whether it was right or wrong, they fought for it. Never forget. Others look at that same monument and say "this is a battle we won. We fought for freedom for all and won. Never forget."

Consider the 9/11 memorial in New York. Where two towering buildings once stood, is now a memorial hole in the ground, with a reflection pool. Some might say, "look here: Something horrible happened here and a lot of people lost their lives. We, as Americans, came together in a dark time of our history and stood in solidarity against those who would see our country crumble. We must never forget". Yet, someone else might look at that memorial and say "this is when we struck. This is when we fought to take down America, for all their 'freedoms' ". Does anyone look at that memorial and say "This offends me. Take it down."

Yes, I just compared the two events as being on the same level. Just let that roll around in your head for a moment. We cannot erase these moments from our history. They are there. Taking down a monument or memorial is not going to help us move forward. The hate will still be there. Only, when a few generations have passed, nobody will remember why they were taught to be angry in the first place. They will hate for hate's sake. It's like, why do women shave their legs? I don't know. Because our mothers shaved their legs. Because our grandmothers shaved theirs. But why? Who said we should shave our legs? What is the purpose? Where and when did it begin? I'd be willing to bet that this was not taught at home or school. Just a social norm that you blindly accepted and went along with. Never questioning it. And so it goes.

Knitting is like...

2014-12-09T21:32:00.003-06:00

Knitting is like a dear friend that even when you haven't seen each other in a while, when you meet again, you pick up where you left off, and nothing seems to have changed. A really good book. You know how it will end, (because you snuck a look at that last page) but you still enjoy the story. Knitting is like a relationship. You work on it and work on it, and it never seems to end. Until one day it does, and even though you should have, you never saw it coming. Just WHAM! The end. Knitting is like raising a child. You start out with this tiny little thing, and you work on it every day. Lovingly helping it to grow. Each stitch is done with such care. You make a mistake here and there, but you pick up that dropped stitch along the way, and hope that the finished result is something beautiful despite its inherent flaws. You see them, but you love them anyway. Sort of like a signature. Then one day you get to the end of the pattern and you have to give it away, because it was never meant to be yours anyway; and you want to hold on just a little longer. Maybe you even drug out the work a little longer than necessary just to spend a little more time with it. But eventually you do, let it go; and you hope that whomever receives it, loves it as much as you loved making it. There's a reason why knitters/crocheters are so passionate about their work. What's your passion?

Corpus Christi or bust

2014-06-30T14:56:00.001-05:00

The boys and I had a mostly great weekend. We went on a trip with the Cub Scout Pack to Corpus Christi, Tx. That is about a 8-9 hour drive. Along the way, we stopped in Hearne, where we had lunch at Camp Hearne, a POW internment camp that housed German POWs during WWII. From there we drove to Lake Corpus Christi State Park, where we set up camp for the night. Did you know there is a Scout camp near it?

I am going to be upfront and tell you that I am coming to grips with the realization that camping and I do not get along. I don't think I will be doing it anymore for as long as I can avoid it. Now, give me an RV or a cabin, and you have yourself a deal. Otherwise, deal's off. My boys did great though. We got a little rain that Friday night. Ok, early Saturday morning. I slept maybe 2 hours. On Saturday we headed the rest of the way to Corpus Christi and boarded the USS Lexington. The Pack was signed up for the overnight program, and let me tell you that after not sleeping in a tent, sleeping in ship's quarters was a dream.

The USS Lexington, CV-16, is a World War II-vintage Essex Class aircraft carrier.* Our Pack got to tour the ship and sleep overnight on the ship, taking two meals in the ship's galley as well. Now, this is a lot of ship to explore, and my boys were all over it. Even the youngest was up and down stairs like nobody's business. We had a blast. Though the youngest is in no hurry to return to it because it is so big. On Sunday, after we left the ship, the boys and I headed to the beach while the rest of the Pack went to the Texas State Aquarium right next to the Lexington. The two younger boys hadn't been to a beach in nearly four years! The boys all decided that when they grow up, they want to live near the beach. I can't say that I blame them. We discovered that the ocean water in the Gulf of Mexico is considerably warmer than that of the Pacific Ocean, i.e. California coast. That will be something to research this year with the boys.

Initially I had been dreading the long drive home. I even began to feel a bit stressed during the first half of the drive, as I became very tired, very quickly. But, a stop at the gas station and a Monster Coffee energy drink later, and I was good to go. The boys and I had tons of fun coming up with different games to play as we drove. We got home last evening and were very happy to be home. Though there was some stress and hurt feelings in the beginning, the memories made with my children are priceless. I am glad we had this opportunity. What would I do different in the future? Rent an RV or travel trailer, or even check into a hotel rather than attempt to sleep in a tent. Me, exhaustion, not a good combo.

(Today we are still in our pajamas, watching TV and getting caught up on laundry.)

Big decisions

2014-04-30T23:38:00.000-05:00

Very recently, Everette and I decided that we will home school at least the two younger boys come the new school year. At this time, our oldest is being given the choice. I have done tons of research, we have talked about it, prayed about it and after much debate finally decided that this is the right move for our family. It feels like such a huge decision, like getting married or deciding to have another child or buy a house. This is our children's future. No longer will we blindly leave their education to virtual strangers or a government that does not know us. This is not something we are taking lightly. This didn't just pop into our minds to do. Rather, it is something we have been discussing for over two years.

This past week I have been researching learning and teaching methods, curriculum, everything. Going into this, I had no idea how broad a statement "homeschooling" is. I am rapidly learning that there is much to decide. Do we want to invest hundreds of dollars for materials or utilize more of the free tools online? Do we stick with just one program or pull from several resources? I haven't even decided how tight a schedule we will keep.

I already feel that a portion of our home will become dedicated to learning. I have a ton of rearranging to do. Need to figure out what should stay in the house and what needs to either be sold or put in the shed. I know it will be a lot of trial and error until we figure even half of this all out. I was afraid that we were going to get a lot of flack for making this decision, but so far most friend and family feedback has been very positive. There has been only one so far that is against it. If there is anyone else who disagrees with our decision, they have kept silent so far.

I want to say that I am not making this decision with the opinion that everyone should home school. I just know that at this time in my life, I want to have more of a say in what and how my children learn. I want the freedom to take the kids out and go explore. Whether that takes place at the library, the park, zoo, museum or even the grocery store. And I don't want to have to plan our lives around their school work. I would rather plan their school work around our lives. There have been some frustrations with the school system. Without a doubt, the STAAR testing plays a big part in all of this. That is a rant for another day though. In the end it comes down to wanting more time with my children. More involvement and say in what goes on in their days, and in their brains.

I know that there are going to be sacrifices. I definitely cannot get a job outside the home now. I can't just go out for coffee while the kids are in school. The biggest one is I will be fully responsible for our children's education. Everette works and will continue to work. At times he will be attending college classes as well. So this does fall solely on my shoulders. I know there will be days I will want to pull my hair out or drop them off at the school and say "you take them". But with God's strength and the support of friends and family and a fairly large homeschooling group, we can do this.

Finding purpose

2014-02-25T09:49:00.000-06:00

For most of my life I felt that I had little to no value. I felt that I was not important in this world and that I had no place. What was my purpose? What was I besides just another no-talent human? I felt that way for a very long time, until the first time I became a mother. Even the moment I found out I was pregnant, I suddenly had a purpose. I was a Mother. It was now my job to love and take care of this unborn baby.
When my First was born, he needed me 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I had purpose. My arms were full. He needed me for a couple years, and then not so much. But by that point I had number two. The pregnancy was fantastic. I had my purpose as long as he was inside of me. After he as born, that purpose slipped for a while. He didn't need me as much as the First. But I was still needed.
Finally, I had my Third. I held on to him for as long as I could, because I knew he was my last. But now he is in elementary school and my arms are empty. What is my purpose? Who am I now that there is no one who needs me like that anymore? How do I redefine myself as a woman? Somehow, being Mother to three school age children seems smaller than Mother to an infant or toddler. My arms are empty and they don't know what to do. I find myself wanting another child, but that can't happen now.
So what do I do? I knit, crochet, scrapbook. I clean house and cook meals. I get involved with Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts. I throw birthday parties and classroom parties, and for a while I have purpose. I have a value. Then there are these moments of inactivity and silence. Moments when my arms are empty and my hands and mind are idle. I begin to feel that old familiar melancholy of insignificance.
My mother tells me I do too much. I am involved in too many activities. That I need to slow down. She has seven children and her arms were full for a very long time. Though her arms have been empty for more than 20 years, she has reached that point in her life where she is ready and accepting of that silence and inactivity. She is confident in who she is as a woman. My mother no longer understands that by my involvement and attempt at constant activity, my mind does not have time to dwell on the emptiness of my arms. When I am at my busiest I can forget that feeling of being unimportant.
I may have spent more than half my life feeling insignificant, but I found purpose in being a mom. I know that at some point I will accept life as a mother of grown children and feel confident in who I will be. For now, I must try each day to create my own purpose.

Old wives' tales

2014-01-31T17:43:00.002-06:00

It never ceases to amaze me when I see a post online about some archaic remedy still being suggested in modern times. Although I admit to having no professional medical training, I do pay attention and to my studying when necessary. I believe I can say with some certainty that leaving a sliced onion in the room of someone with the flu will in fact, not cure them of the flu. Germs will not magically float across the room to the onion like a magnet. Neither will binding an onion to the bottom of one's foot, cure them of whatever ails them. Because chances are, that cold was well on its way out the door when you strapped that onion to your foot, and did not actually "draw the infection out".

Feeding a cold and starving a fever is a falsity. Starving yourself while ill will only further weaken you. The term was stave, meaning to prevent. Though there are hundreds of other foolish and illogical "remedies" passed on for decades if not hundreds of years, let me just say that if it sounds odd, irrational, or just plain crazy, then it probably is. Use your common sense. Take your vitamins. Down that cough syrup and acetaminophen when needed. Talk to your doctor. Coincidence can be very deceiving at times, leading us to believe in ideas that are inaccurate.

All this being said, I must say that the vinegar and mouthwash bath for callused feet does indeed work. Granted I acknowledge the possibility that soaking ones' feet in any liquid for 20-30 minutes is liable to make any amount of dead skin more eager to slough off. For all I know water and dish soap might be just as effective. I shall try it on my husband's ever peeling feet and see.

No way to look but up

2013-10-28T12:03:00.000-05:00

This month Everette has not worked quite as much, resulting in smaller and smaller pay checks. The van will not start. We think it is either the battery, which is little more than two years old, or the starter. Either way, it's money we do not currently have to fix it. Elisha is in need of a coat. A friend suggested I inquire at the local Senior Center, because they were giving out coats. I did go over there this morning and was told that yes they have coats, but they were all bagged up and she couldn't help me. Seriously? A child is without a coat this winter and you can't manage going through a bag to see if there is one that you can give him? WTF? It sickens me to know that a place supposed to be donating coats has the coats but can't manage to take one out of a bag. I wish I wasn't having to lower myself to such means. I want to be able to meet my children's needs without asking for help. You know, Christmas is coming and I am not sure if I will be able to do anything for my kids or anyone else. At this point I am feeling that there is nearly no place to look but up. Praying that God will meet our needs once again. Also, I am applying for a job at Brookshire's.
Ok, let's add room mom to my 3rd grader's class and I haven't gotten anything done for their halloween party.

Later that day....
My Dad came and took care of the battery on the van, so it runs again! Woohoo!!! My neice is bringing over an insulated coat for Elisha. Everette got a 4 room installation job today, which is well over a $100 job. I got the list of people to help for the classroom party and have pretty much all the food and beverages for Tristan's class party covered. In a matter of hours, everything has fallen into place. Thank you God for being so awesome!!!

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Food Allergies

2013-08-17T11:52:00.002-05:00

I have three sons, ages 5-11 years old. They are all three very healthy, smart and happy. Each one also has his own food allergy, as do I. I am allergic to many raw fruits and vegetables. They make my mouth and sinuses itch, my lips swell and sometimes my throat closes a little. #1 son has a strange allergy to certain preservatives, like hexametaphosphate. When it comes in contact with his skin, wherever the problem food has touched, turns read and welts up. #2 has a soy allergy. This one is a problem, not in his reaction (it affects his BMs), but in trying to avoid the allergen. Soy is in nearly every prepackaged food available. It also comes under different names. The tricky part is knowing which names and also knowing that for my son, soybean oil and soy lecithin are not a problem. Soy protein, soy flour, mono and diglycerides, and msg (mono sodium glutemate) are. Also, "natural flavoring" can indicate soy. Now I am not that great at making bread, and we are big on the bread consumption. Yet most companies use some sort of the "bad" soy in their recipes. I spend more time searching labels on the bread isle when I shop than any other part of the store. It's the same with canned soups and pastas, like Campbell's and Chef Boyardee. It's not enough for me to check the labels one time and then always buy that product. I did that for a while but then found that the bread I had been buying, Orowheat, suddenly started using soy flour in most of their loaves. I can buy Peppridge Farms bread and Costco bread, but that means a trip to Wal-mart for the one and Costco for the other. Neither are nearby. Oh, and did you know that certain anesthetics may contain soy? This is how we discovered #2 had a soy allergy. He came out of an outpatient surgery, as red as a tomato when he was 1 yr.

My youngest son, #3 has a peanut and orange allergy. Turns out the hives and constant sinus issues, dark circles, etc. were caused by peanuts and oranges. None of the boys has a severe allergy, thankfully. But it's enough that they each have to be aware of what they eat. #3 has taken the dietary change quite well. He can have other nuts with no problem, and has since discovered that he loves cashew butter. Unfortunately that is an expensive nut butter, at $7 for a 12oz jar. While he was in preschool, he had become very responsible about his allergy. At age 4, he would scold the cafeteria ladies if they mistakenly put oranges on his plate. He's 5 now and about to go into Kindergarten. I will have to be more diligent now as parents bring in snacks for the kids at class parties.

I have learned how to make my own pop-tarts, using pie crust and jam. Next I want to try making my own granola bars, peanut free. Eventually I will learn how to make a proper loaf of bread. For now, I will just have to get a Costco card and make the 90 minute drive twice a month to buy bread. Lots of bread.

2013-08-06T15:02:00.000-05:00

Today I am an emotional and probably hormonal train wreck. I am trying to chalk most of this up to PMS. That being said, here is my problem; One month ago, my youngest son Eli turned 5 years old. Since then he has seemed to get bigger, both taller and heavier. Even his back seems bigger. Like, I pat his back and my hand doesn't cover as much of it as before. Yes, I know children grow and many do a lot of growing during the summer, or so it seems. But it isn't just his physical size. It is his personality as well. The concepts in his mind, the way he sees life. And he doesn't want Mommy as much. Granted he isn't ready to stay the night at Grandma's house yet, but I think that was more because his brothers weren't going to be there with him. Today I sent him to go take a nap and of course he fought me on it. Once I got him in his bed though, he didn't ask me to stay with him or for me to read him a story. He asked for his Dad. I am very happy for my husband, but very heartbroken for myself. I miss my baby. But my baby is growing up. They all are. Knowing he's the last makes it so much harder. I'm not ready for this period of my life to be over with. I want to hold on just a little while longer, but feel life prying my fingers loose. They need to make support groups for Moms like us. Gone are the days of MOPS. Now what? I know I will be neck deep in their lives as they are now. Probably feel like I am drowning in Scouting. I know I will be busy. But I won't be Mommy to a little baby or toddler anymore. Now I am a mother to three boys who are rapidly on their way to becoming men. Will I ever be ready for THAT?

Zimmerman trial

2013-07-24T14:45:00.000-05:00

This past month I have been loosely following the Zimmerman/Martin case. What initially grabbed my interest was the last name, Zimmerman. Those who know me know why. As the case went on I sort of payed attention and in the back of my mind I was pulling for Zimmerman. Couldn't quite explain it but I was. Maybe it was just the name, but I felt there was more to this feeling that Zimmerman was innocent of murder. That he had truly been defending his own life. Today I read an article and watched a video that solidified my gut feeling.

Read the article and most definitely watch the video.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/blog/the-consequences-and-implications-of-the-abortion-presidents-race-baiting

marriage, babies, and tough choices

2013-06-28T07:43:00.005-05:00

This week I posted on Facebook my heartbroken thoughts regarding California's Prop 8 and Texas' filibuster Tuesday night that stopped the voting of a law that would restrict abortions after 20 weeks gestation. Inevitable I received quite a bit of backlash for it. I believe marriage should remain between a man and a woman only. To do otherwise goes against scripture and biology. I believe that abortion is murder, plain and simple, and is never right when the baby is alive. I don't think many people understand what is done to these little ones. It is horrific.
It was suggested that I don't know how I would react if I was told that there was a problem with the baby inside me and that I should abort. The truth is, I do know because I was faced with that possibility once. You see, I am a carrier for, I believe it's cystic fibrosis. When the test came back on that we then had to have Everette tested. If both of us were carriers there was a great chance that our unborn baby would have it. The doctor said that if that was the case, we would have to make a choice. We didn't hesitate. Everette and I both said abortion wasn't an option. We would have him tested to be informed and prepared if necessary. His test came back negative in the end and I am thankful. During that waiting time though, we had plenty of time to think about it and we knew in our hearts that abortion would never be an option for us. I know my God. I trust Him to do what's right.
I don't know why it never occurred to me to join a Pro Life group before. I will though.

2013-05-05T16:39:00.001-05:00

It seems more and more that it is a crime to be a Christian. But we are supposed to bend over backwards for Muslims, lest we offend them. I don't see our government intervening when a Christian is offended, but they are sure quick to act if a Muslim is. More talk about sharia law being allowed. With one president we are losing our right to be Christian, our right to own guns, our right to say anything that does not support Islam. At this rate, in a few years we might be executed for not being Muslim, women and children might be legally murdered by their husbands and fathers for any sort of upset. Is this really how We the People of the United States want our nation to go?

How has it become legal to abort babies even in the third trimester, when they would have lived if born. Why is it a 15 year old girl can have access to the morning after pill without consent or knowledge from her parents? Why aren't teens being taught abstinence? What happened to learning morals? Our military is no longer allowed to be openly Christian, but they can be openly gay. Do the same rules apply to Muslims in the military or just Christians and Jews? I was appalled when I read the article where one person stated that a Christian sharing his/her faith is like spiritual rape. Excuse me? How can a conversation you can walk away from anywhere near the same as rape? That comparison is an insult to rape victims, in my opinion, and an insult to Christians.

Should I now go and sue the military, schools and any company or organization that has put a sensor on Christians for infringing MY rights? This is my country too, and I am NOT giving up my rights!

Dead dryers and calendar mistakes

2013-03-08T17:19:00.002-06:00

Two days ago I went to use my dryer, which was working fine the night before, only to find that it would not start. Tried everything I could think of, and no dice. It just would not start. So I went online to www.craigslist.org and found that most of the dryers listed were 2 hours away in Shreveport, LA. Fine. I found one that looked promising and the guy would even deliver, so I went ahead with it. After many text messages back and forth, he showed up yesterday afternoon with a functioning dryer and took my dead one with him. Not a bad price either at $245. Now I can get caught up on laundry, yay.

Now regarding Scouting; Today as I was asking one of my den leaders if their den was going to make it to the upcoming Pack meeting, which I said was scheduled to take place during spring break. Why during spring break, they asked? "I don't know" I said. Then I got the idea to quadruple check my calendar, only to find out that there is no pack meeting scheduled during spring break. It is scheduled for the week after. Wow, I have been contacting people and telling everyone that it was next week, when in fact it is the following week. I totally screwed that one up. I think I need to big desk calendar. Does that tell you how scatter brained I can be? I hope my Pack can forgive me my error.

On other fronts, I sent my oldest boy on his first out of state weekend hike with his Troop. Let's hope the weather holds for them. Maybe we can get this bad weather curse to lift. Also, I recently got myself a metal detector, as I have always wanted one. Today I was in my yard exploring and found a 1930s WM Rogers Mfg Co child's silver plated Mickey Mouse spoon. It has some damage from exposure to it, but it is still a cool find. In good condition they seem to go for anywhere from $16-40. Also found a penny, LOL.

National debt

2013-02-28T10:18:00.002-06:00

A copy of an email I just sent Texas Representative, Jeb Hensarling;

Regarding the Sequester and national budget, I have two comments/questions. First, Rudy Giuliani mentioned last night that what the Sequester is supposed to do is cut additional spending, but what the President is saying is that it will cut into current spending like education and military. How is that right? Second, instead of cutting into things like education, military, medicare, etc. why don't we cut foreign aid? Why do we continue to give so much to other countries, especially ones that have respect for us, and yet continue to take away from our own nation? Why is it more and more taboo to be openly patriotic? Why must we have gay pride and Mexican pride and Muslim pride but no American pride? How much and for how long are we going to allow China to own us? Is there any hope for our country? Ok, I realize that was way more than two.

2013-02-06T11:55:00.001-06:00

I am from California. Gender equality is a common concept there. I knew things would be different when I moved to Texas, but I was not prepared for how truly different it is. Last night I had my eyes opened to the reality of the male/female roles here. I am a mom to three boys, and for the first time I wished this morning that I had at least one girl. (ok, that's not entirely accurate. I have always wanted a daughter.) Today, I wished that at least one of my sons was a daughter. It was only for a moment, but that moment lasted long enough to almost knock me down.
Because I have three sons, I find myself immersed in a man's world. We have done soccer. dinosaurs, Legos, Star Wars, etc. Mostly, we have been participating in Scouts. We are on our sixth year of scouting. Ian is a boy scout, Tristan is a cub scout. I have been a scout parent, a den leader, and now assistant Cubmaster This is the second pack we have been with. The first was in California at Camp Pendleton. Great group of leaders. Really had it together there. Now here we are in Texas, and I am finding out just how much of a man's world this is. In our pack, currently half of our leaders are women and half are men. I do believe that Boy Scouts should be guided mostly by men, as it is boys they serve. However, I am a mom who has only sons. My husband works long hours and is not able to serve as a scout leader in any way. (Also, it's just not his thing.) A spot needed to be filled, and I filled it. So I do what I have to do for my sons.
In the past week I have been talked down to, corrected, interrupted, chastised, brushed off and very nearly patted on the head and told 'not to worry my pretty little head about such matters. Let us deal with that.' All this by the male leadership in our pack. I work my butt off for this Pack, am placated in my efforts and then thrown under the bus. If this is the attitude out here then find someone else to fill my shoes. Find someone else to do all of the things that myself and the other Moms in this pack have done and are doing. I am not a scout leader because I love the outdoors or enjoy spending much of time in a testosterone laden environment. I do it because I have sons, I do it for them, and if I don't who will?

Keep BSA faith-based

2013-01-31T09:15:00.002-06:00

This week in the news there is much talk about the BSA's decision to revisit their own stance regarding a ban on homosexuals within the organization. For the sake of funding and wanting to fit in, the Boy Scouts of America is considering lifting this ban. I am going to come right and say it. I am against this decision. I believe the ban should remain intact. I do not think that we should have to increase the exposure our sons experience of homosexuality in their every day life. It isn't scriptural, which BSA is faith-based. It isn't natural. It isn't right. You know, our children get this pushed on them all the time. We joined BSA because of its moral grounding.

How dare others who don't believe as we do, come in and try to force us to change our belief system. If you want to be included in scouting, then accept our choice or go start your own organization. Do not try to change what scouting has been about for 100 years! It is not archaic. We are trying to teach our sons what is right. Not confuse them. BSA, PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THE POLICY!!!

I have every right to NOT accept homosexuality. And I am not a bad person for that choice. If BSA is made to change this policy, then you may as well strip every core value as well. For me, it's all or nothing. I am standing up for what I believe here.

Birthday blah

2013-01-24T13:31:00.002-06:00

I have determined that being home alone on one's birthday is sad and depressing. I wonder if this is all my life is. If it weren't for the automatic pop up on facebook, how many people would have thought to send me a message today? How many of those handful of people really care? I have to frost my own cake. There will be no gift. No lunch with a friend or family member. No party. But that is how it is every year. Just another day, nothing special. I got a call this morning from my Mom, and she sang her warped version of "happy birthday". I love my Mom. My kids made me cards. They are fantastic. My husband baked a cake last night. It's still sitting in its pans on the counter. All of the chores still need to be done. I have a den meeting to take my 7 year old to this evening. Kids are at school, husband is at work. Once again, I feel insignificant. I think I hate my birthday.

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2012-11-13T08:30:00.000-06:00

Last night was our Pack meeting and an after-action report/meeting for the Troop. I think both went really well. I was able to get my laptop to cooperate for a slide show at the pack meeting, giving the families the opportunity to see our camp out we just had. It was well organized, we had great discussions on fundraising possibilities and talked about upcoming events. It was really great to get the parents involved in the decision making.
After both meetings were over, the Cubmaster sat down with the Scoutmaster/Committee Chair and myself to go over a few things. That was a good meeting too. We were able to discuss some things that really needed to be addressed (mostly scheduling issues). Finally, Cubmaster brings up a proposal that I had heard from him previously and tried to brush off. He wants to step down as Cubmaster and have me take his place. Scoutmaster agreed. I don't know if I am ready for this. I told them that I am a behind the scenes person. I don't lead. In the end, I said I would have to talk to my husband and God about this and see what they say. This could take a while.