NaziNerd

Secret to Internet dating ... ask me .. 100% record (statistics may not be be accurate of actual events)

2013-07-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

Secret to Internet dating ... ask me .. 100% record (statistics may not be be accurate of actual events)

where do I start. Well I was single for a while and wasn't interested in getting back on the proverbial "Horse" so to speak. Look, my life choices have always been dubious and recently due to an injury (dislocated knee) I was staying away from women full fucking stop.

In my experience women and what is said, is not equal to what is meant. Leaving me feeling like a nob for a) believing them and b) for me actually being a nob.

A friend said I should join dating sites. Now I have no problem with this except that I really couldn't be arsed. After she signed me up I basically left a profile that said "Fuck off, over there, when you get there, fuck off some more".

In my brief experience I had chatted to a few women on there and for my age bracket, it basically consisted of one very specific demographic.

"DOLE BUM MUM'S"

Yep, apparently because I had a job, was into NYC hardcore, heavily tattooed, have above average intelligence I was akin to playing daddy to 22 year olds with 5 kids. Stating "You would be an ideal father figure"

Can I refer you back to my higher level of intelligence. I'm no Einstein but getting involved with these women will result in probable face aids and empty bank account (which is empty due to the whole knee polava anyway).

Let me introduce you to a few. First off the "Murderer" ...

I shit you not. The words "Hello" sent shivers down my spine. She apparently is 27. With strawberry blond hair and an enigmatic smile. Also 4 children. That means she's had sex at least 4 times. It sometimes keeps me awake sometimes.

Next was "The Murderer Returns"

The comment "New Hair do, what do you think?" .. Yeah ... a pair of scissors is only going to improve things if YOU FUCKING STAB THEM IN MY EYE'S ... this one had..wait for it .. 6 children and is only.... 26 ... and this one also admits "3 different fathers" ... now I'm not guessing on ratio of fathers... but I'm guessing none had 20 20 vision ... or a job..but a smack or crack habit is a high possibility

The third and final...well I can't show you as frankly she has removed her profile. It was harrowing. Like the daughter of Fred West and Moira Hindly. Sending me messages of "Do youz thank Im sexy or wat". Yeah I will stick to the "Wat" thank you. The look on the picture was one of utter despair. It made the above photo's look like professional snaps by a top class photographer. She was going to devour your soul. What was so strange about it was THIS WAS THE FUCKING BEST PHOTO SHE (OR ANY OF THE ABOVE) USED TO TRY AND AUCTION THEMSELVES OFF ON THE INTERNET... LET ME POINT OUT .. A PRODUCTS WORTH IS BASED ON ITS INTRINSIC VALUE AND REDEEMING QUALITIES .. THESE HAVE FUCK ALL OF ANYTHING .. .

Granted there are alot of these "Too good be true" however the tale takes a twist. I gave up. I prefer to meet people in a real life environment. However I got an email from one of the sites stating, and I will use this loosely (basically replace "trusted user" with "Loser" and you will get the gist...)

"Dear Mr ****

As a trusted user you haven't been contacting many ladies **editorial : yeah with beauties like above do you fucking blame me**. So beacuse you are a trusted user we are granting you moderation rights. Log in to see your new trusted user panel.

Yours Sincerely

TroutFestUk.Com"

(Made up dating site btw, just in case I get any moaners saying it isn't a real site)

So I got to moderate. How many fake fuckin profiles. FUCK LOADS. All I can sumise is 3 things

1) Blokes on these sites want nothing but sex

2) They want so much sex they're happy to pose as women.

3) Women under 30 want a father to there litter

Yes I got lucky. I met someone who can only be described as fucking awesome. So you may ask how I'm so cynical and what was my driving mantra. If you want to know. BE FUCKING HONEST YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING BELL ENDS. I was nothing but honest. I'm too old and cynical for most shit. I struck up an innocent conversation and we met a few times. I am completely lucky. Stop pretending you are something you are not. We clicked. Because, not just I, but both of us were fucking honest off the start. We clicked. And that click was not forced, not shrouded in lies and misconceptions, it was genuine based on truth. Because of this the only woman I have ever met off a fucking dating site is probably the most important woman I have ever fucking met. So yes it was 100% success but only because IT WAS FUCKING NATURAL (Although I think tramps and Monkey ball torture paintings helped (long long story))

So you wan't to know the truth. Stop being a bell end. Don't trust in profiles as the women are just as bad. In general people tend to be twats. So there.

Bit-Tards the worlds universal currency for fucktards ....

2013-04-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

Where do I start ...

Bit-Coin's, the universal decentralized currency based on chewing up the earths resources so you can buy illegal shit from people you shouldn't trust.

It's a boom, like the net in the late 90's. Everyone can be a winner, everyone can be a millionaire, within hours of mining. Or so certain sites will have you believe.

The truth. No you can't.

Any capped currency based on a simple basis of computing prowess is always destined to fail. They claim that whilst decentralizing the currency it means that the value of the currency remains with the people who put the work in. The problem with this is that NO, you didn't put in any fucking work, you just had a smidge of technical know how and more money to invest in a PC that has more chance of breaking a hash to earn you the bitcoin. You are a slaver. In the old days the most wealthy held more slaves and through this held more weight with the financial institutes around them, due to the physical work these slaves could perform and the products THEY FUCKING PRODUCED, the problem is, THERE'S NO FUCKING REAL WORK OR PRODUCTS YOUR VIRTUAL SLAVE IS FUCKING DOING, AND NO FUCKING END PRODUCT FULL FUCKING STOP. So prey tell exactly how this is different, THERE IS NO PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTE TO THE WORK YOUR MINING IS ACTUALLY ACCRUING ...

I'm getting at least 5-10 calls every 3 days about bitcoin mining. A limited cap currency perpetuated in growth by the media. It doesn't hold any value. About as much value as a dog turd in a sock. If I got enough people willing to trade dog turds in socks for real world goods, I'D BE A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE!!.

This is the problem. The more people do it the harder it gets. The main problem is this. IF you were being rewarded for a task that actually accomplished something, lets use folding at home (or FH) as an example, which is mapping the human genome so things like Parkinson's cancer, and whole host OF REAL WORLD FUCKING PROBLEMS were being investigated whilst mining, I'd say FINE IT HOLDS SOME FUCKING VALUE.

IF you were being rewarded for bitcoin mining in the same sense that all the energy you are using and the constant stress was working towards a goal that benefited all mankind like folding at home THEN IT WOULD BE WORTH SOMETHING. When silk road goes down the shitter...and it will...this currency won't be worth the paper it's printed on...OH WAIT IT'S NOT PRINTED ON PAPER... THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT...

Currency in all it's means, decentralized or not, is based on the work used TO GAIN THAT FUCKING CURRENCY... there has to be A REAL FUCKING WORLD PRODUCT OR SERVICE to earn that fucking currency ... whether that's a blowjob behind Morrison's or working a 12 hour shift picking peanuts out of dog shit...this is based on fuck all ... hence why the value shifts with media perception ... "WHY" you may ask "BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPID AND THINK IT'S FUCKING WORTH SOMETHING" that's fucking why.

So stop it people. If the people behind bitcoin had tied the hashes in with folding at home then yes it would be worth something. All it's doing is working towards an inevitable end of being worth exactly FUCK ALL because that's the technical amount of work THAT'S GONE INTO EARNING IT IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE.

So you heard it here first. Bit-Tard. Anyone who thinks bitcoin is worth something because they read it in the media.

Now go use your PC for something worthwhile like folding at home.

http://folding.stanford.edu/

IT Expert ... yeah what the fuck ever ....

2012-04-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

So a friend asked a simple question about selling his MacBook pro in light of purchasing a Windows 7 based machine. Now you all know my view on Apple products. However the simple point is (as if you've read my previous posts) that the hardware is very good on apple machines on a whole. So how do you proceed. Well obviously theres no point in trading in for about £500 and having to splash out £800 on a similar based machine. So why not just purchase an OEM copy of Windows 7, about £80, and dual boot his system giving not only the cheapest option but also the most logical one.

Cue the fecking retards. As always with technology most people have an opinion. Let me point out. YOU CERTAINLY FUCKING DO NOT.

Just because you have been duped into purchasing "Product A" does not mean that "Product A" is the highlight of fecking technology. Can I point out that "Product A" is probably something they've had sat on the shelf for the past 2 years trying to offload on some idiotic customer. That idiot was you.

Let me explain that I advise hundreds of customers a week. Our stores try and keep as less in stock as possible due to the fact that tech moves so fast that even keeping it on your shelf for 2 weeks is the difference between making £5 on "Product A" or losing £20 on "Product A" ... your "Product A" is most likely what I would call "Product R" ... "R" standing for "Retard" .... you purchased it ... for whatever reason ... it does not make it "THE FUCKING BE ALL AND END ALL OF FUCKING CURRENT AND FUCKING FUTURE TECH IN THE WORLD" ...

At the end of the day tech moves fast .... and keeping up is half the fucking battle ... just because you purchased something 6 months ago does not mean its "Cutting Edge" ,,, it means it was "FUCKING CUTTING EDGE 18 MONTHS AGO" ...

Think of it like a kebab shop ... you know that time you ended up with the shits ... cos they were trying to get that week old meat out of the door ... well what was coming out yer arse that Sunday morning... is whats coming out of your mouth at this moment in time ... IT .... the only job where everyone's a fucking expert ... I need a labotimy ... but NO ONES A FUCKING EXPERT ON THAT ON FACEBOOK ARE THEY...

STFU ... and keep yer mouth shut ... just because you bought it ... doesn't make you a fucking demi god on tech ... it usually means you are easily lead by sales people and advertising .... no wonder it makes me enraged ... apparently everyone can do my fucking job ....

For the people who are actually concerned I would advise the following websites and related forums

www.tomshardware.com
www.oc3d.com
www.whathifi.com

for the rest who don't spend in excess of 20 hours reading current forums and reviews, and changed a stick of RAM once 6 years ago ... Shut the fuck up ... your just proving the human race is actually defeating the evolutionary process ... name me one species that protects the fucking mongs of its class ... thats right ... none ... so go back to watching Jezza ... and ask a proper expert ... "Well my mate Steve, who knows PC'S" IS NOT A FUCKING VALID RESPONSE ...

Peace Bitches ....

SWTOR ... Oh god I feckin hate you ....

2012-04-04T15:50:00.000-07:00

Now everyone knows I'm a big Star Wars fan. Most people know my loathing for Lucas and his bullshit excuse for the prequels. Most people know I like MMO's. Some people know the reason why I am banned from a few certain Cinema's. What most people don't know is the sole main reason of me not writing blogs recently, IS DUE TO THIS FUCKING GAME.

Its a love hate relationship. It's similar to what I had with WoW. (Although because everyone is still learning and can't find an online encylcopedia of everything within the game, some of the post vanilla WoW players just hate on it, but I'm sure once they see a real life vag that isn't related directly to them, mums or sisters and even cousins, opinions will change, but the regular players are really helpful and make it a joy to be involved with)

So lets look at some of the arguments,

No Group Finder , aww diddums, does this make finding a group of like minded players harder, yes, does it make it worthwhile when you find them, too feckin right. It means that end game and progression takes some effort. I mean if Sex was like this it would be called prostitution, although it would be free, so not technically prostitution, but you get my meaning.

The games buggy, yes it is, BUT most peoples complaints revolve around the simple fact that they have come from WoW on a PC thats constructed of a combination of peanuts and week old mango chutney and wondered why they can't play it. The frank reason is. That "Tiny" branded PC with 12 year old components is not going to cut it. It requires some grunt. (Although they do need to sort out the shadow issues)

No end game content, I disagree, the end game is just as compelling and with greater special ops and hard modes it keeps you coming back, even re-rolling characters adds so much with the individual story line.

Look the games not perfect, but Vanilla WoW players will remember the grind between lvl 39 and 40 ... fecks sake ... I'd rather castrate myself then do that again. Now its achievable in a few hours.

Point is that SWTOR is not perfect. But BioWare are doing a good job with content and listening to the players. The guild summit showed that. Patch 1.2 is a massive step in the right direction. By my estimation they are roughly 4 years ahead of WoW when it was within the first six months of release.

Its amazing the shit talking from people, you only have to read the facebook page comments. It's like a flame war between retards and retards. My MMO's better then yours. This is why I shifted from alliance to Horde, too many kids with little understanding of game mechanics. The main fact is, I'm enjoying it, and nothing in the past 2 and a half years has made me want to go back to WoW. The main reason, is that people on that game tend to number in the millions for hard core wankstains. The point of the game in WoW has been lost, and thats the fun. How long SWTOR has got before the players get like that god knows. For the meantime its all good. So get on it.

Thai Floods ... Hard Drive Prices are fooking nuts....

2011-10-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

Thai Floods have been absolutely rocking the tech news however me having to deal with the absolute outrage at work by upity customers is beyond a joke.

The prices have been fluctuating on an hourly basis. Our suppliers have been telling everyone "limited stocks", "5 per customer". Then we have the onslaught of suppliers promising stock at a certain price then raising it by a shocking amount.

Customer A, lets call him tit-weasel for sake of ease. Tit-weasel purchased 100, yes 100 drives through our website, now we don't tend to carry that quantity in stock and usually are listed directly from the suppliers. The order was passed on to the suppliers and they contacted us straight away saying they could only provide 2 drives at the price stated on our site and would only be able to supply a further 3 at more then triple the original price. Cue the call to tit-weasel. Jesus fucking christ. The guy swore at me at least 10 times saying it was a "fucking disgrace", apparently he is going to take court action as a purchase online constitutes a legal contract. Actually it doesn't. Only when we accept his order it is a legal contract nothing more. The thing is the guy simply didn't believe me. I ended up sending him links, but as I was looking for news links I came across this little beauty, this is possibly the worst ill informed article I have ever read.

MOST IDIOTIC HARD DRIVE ARTICLE !!

Let me put it this way, a 2 TB drive 2 weeks ago was as little as roughly £70. Current pricing as of friday is around the £180 to £270. No further stock of drives until at least February, and several quarters for this to be remedied. So if you need drives, suck it up, try and live with what you have. Because this is long haul. Enjoy the update we had from a major UK distro on friday.

My thoughts go to the Thai people.

Poor Apple ....

2011-05-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

So I suppose I had to write something about the dreaded MacDefender issue. It's been all over the news for the past 36 hours so you probably have heard all about it.

Now lets start with the first thing "WE TOLD YOU FUCKING SO". No operating system regardless of how closed it is is impervious to attack, thats fact. So lets dispel some of these myths right here and see where Apple users concern should be placed.

First off, its a piece of malware. Woopy fucking do. According to recent polls nearly 100,000 new peices for Windows based systems are found every day. Now all the MacTards will say "ooo windows is so insecure". The simple fact is the Windows community, including Microsoft, KNOW HOW TO FUCKING PLUG THESE LEAKS AND FIX THESE PROBLEMS QUICKLY.

Point and case PC Virus 2010, this did exactly the same as the MacDefender and actually used a problem within Internet Explorer to exploit and install. This required user intervention, yes the pop up box "Do you wish to install this software" did require a users click. Much less like MacDefender where you actually had to put your Admin password in. The problem is within 73 minutes of the first cases coming through there were already security blogs posted explaining how to remove the registry keys associated with it to remove it. Within 4 hours Spybot Search and destroy had updated files to remove it automatically.

We are now on 36 hours, where is the response from Apple, non. They are openly denying and failing to offer any support to users. Due to the closed system there are not many security experts within the Apple dev community. This is due to arrogance. They are probably scratching there fucking balls whilst lay arround in a pool of your money in Barbado's with big tittied ladies sucking down cocktails by the gallon.

My main problem is that I have seen countless times in the Apple store and in PCWorld the sales people telling people that Macs are invulnerable to attacks. This is quite a major selling point, Apple condone this, they really need to wake up. Start advising people to run Anti Virus, there are a few 3rd party Anti Virus for macs about. If they had advised this in the first place they may not be sat there with egg on there face. Case and point a freind who works at the university of Manchester went into the Apple store, this is what he said about his experience

"In case anyone is interested, earlier on today I called at the Apple Store in the Manchester Arndale Centre, posing as a concerned (and not particularly technical) Mac user.

I mentioned to a shop assistant that "I'd read about this Mac Defender virus on the BBC website, and was wondering if it was something I needed to be concerned about".

He mentioned to me that he'd not heard anything about any viruses or similar stuff for Macs, so it was probably nothing worth worrying about, and if Apple had found anything about it, they would have put some official information out and informed their staff about it.

I then asked him if I needed virus software for my Mac, and he said it is possible to download third party AV apps from the app store but there probably wasn't much point.

I wasn't doing it to be deliberately contrary; I didn't go in there looking for a fight (I happily use Windows, Mac and Linux) but from a professional point of view, I was intrigued to find out what Apple were telling their users in person."

Now the interesting thing about this and the question I want to ask most is that if I went in and said "look my mac is infected" obviously they would deny all knowledge, my next question would be "So if you have no knowledge should I actually pay for the software to get it removed". What would there answer be?

The problem these days is that most Malware is designed to extract either information or cold hard cash from the infected. There are very few Virus's that are truly destructive like back in the 90's. Mac users are a prime target as the machines are expensive, by this the user has money.

Apple are all out denying a problem, this isn't surprising as the countless machines sold on the virtue of "invulnerability" counts in the thousands. This may actually lead to a class action lawsuit for miss selling of goods. So from a legal standpoint they are just protecting there arse.

The problem is, this leaves the user high and dry. So if you have a Mac take a look at sophus, like most windows users will tell you the best protection method is pre-emptive, better to be safe then sorry.

For windows users I would advise 3 pieces of software that are all free and are highly recommended.

http://www.avast.com/en-gb/index Free antivirus with good sandbox protection

http://www.safer-networking.org/en/home/index.html Malware and spyware removal with small footprint realtime scanner.

http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner Registry and system cleaner.

I would also advise obviously keeping your machine up to date, which goes without saying. Using this software and running regular maintenance I have not suffered any serious infection within the past 14 years. You can never maintain 100% system security, but with simple steps you can make it difficult for the attackers.

Sorry MacTards, theres not really much I can offer in advice, until Apple recognise the problem and advise there users and actually give a damn about you theres not much to say. Next time thank Mr Jobs for this shit storm by buying another brand. Speaking with your wallet oftenly makes the big corporations sit up and listen.

Submotion Orchestra

2011-05-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to see the exceptionally talented Submotion Orchestra. For you who haven't heard this is a 7 piece from our yorkshire brothers kingdom of Leeds.

Now I'm no musical journalist. And you all know how much I like to fucking moan. So I will get the moaning out of the way. The venue, the mint lounge, in the northern quarter. What has the Northern Quarter become. £4 a pint. Fucking hell when did it turn into fucking Deansgate?? Then we move onto the clientel ... there is nothing I can say ...just watch this video...it sums up everything

Right moaning over. How good are Submotion Orchestra (or for some reason I caught this being shortened to Submo which sounds like the bastard child of Susan Boyle) ... Exceptionally. Here's a run down of the band members. And yes these were my crappy x10 phone pics

Ruby - Vocals

Theres nothing like a bit of glitz and a looker of the band. I mean it's not like there gifts from god and a few you wouldn't kick out of bed. But yes she's stunning, but more importantly, jesus mary mother and joseph she can belt out a tune. Very much reminds me of a few Jazz singers mixed with Kate Bush, if Kate Bush was any good that is.

Bobby - Trumpet and Techno Bits

Amazing on the trumpet. I mean truly gifted. Yes he uses a Mac. Who cares. I'm not reviewing his techno habbits I just hope his equipment holds up during the recent outbreak (sorry I had to get my dig in). The timing of this guy and his finger work (yes ladies I would be looking to date this guy) is exceptional.

Taz - Keyboard

the soul Taz puts into the pieces he plays is bloody evident. His intro's just lul you into a nice serene place. So so talented.

Chris - Bass

This guy is awesome, I mean if he threw his cock round like he throws those deep driving bass lines the guy would be classed as a pornstar. Seriously exceptional.

Tommy - Drums

If this guy beat you to death with his drum sticks it still would probably be the best drumming you will have ever heard. Slick with the sticks.

Danny - Percussion

all those little mood sounds that most bands sample in, tiny little bits that to the untrained ear but somehow complete the sound, this guy is responsible for those, the timing and the addition, and only bhudda knows how well this guy can bongo, makes me think he may have come from the congo ... or so the advert led me to believe.

**SORRY DANNY I COULDN'T GET A CLEAR SHOT, PLEASE FORGIVE ME**

Dom - AKA Ruckspin - Engineer

To the trained eye you can count six members but in the DJ Booth hidden out of sight looking over proceedings was what can be described as the technological conductor. He interpreted every thumb up down and facial expression the band made. This brought things to a polished climax. It wouldn't surprise me if he taught sign language to chimps in his spare time.

The performance was outstanding although we had to leave early as our last bus was at 1145 and they didn't come on till 1030 (although they did say 10 **shakes fist**). I have seen alot of bands but never have I seen
such a polished act before there first album has been released. The festival season is approaching soon. And I know these guys are playing quite a few. If you see them on, go see them. If you see them local, go see them. Just go fucking see them.

I can envisage next time they are round Manchester way it aint gonna be some small club. I can't express how good these guys are live and don't get me wrong the recordings I have listened to time and time again do not even scratch the surface of the live performances I have seen from these guys. Get there album, due in June. Check the links for more info. For me it's beer o'clock with a bit of Submo on whilst I play poker (FUCK...even i'm shortening it now.)

http://www.submotion.co.uk
http://www.facebook.com/submotionorchestra

MAC V PC

2011-04-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

Apple products are not innovative. The marketing is. They are not the be all and end all.

Seriously at the end of the day if you were technically adept you would realize that you can run the OS on alot of other hardware. You are paying for the style. Thats it. A hackintosh can be put together for a fraction of the cost. Dual and tri boot setups can be easily achieved giving you the best of all worlds.

Some of the arguments I here are frankly retarded. Mac's are more secure. False. System security is based on the user. To think your system is secure is idiocy no matter what OS you use. There is always zero day hacks available for most OS's. These are holes within the system. Fact is that hackers and people who use these for financial gain will cover the largest user base. Seeing as Android is becoming fastly the most used OS you can bet that were gonna see more malware and hacks for this OS within the next few years, just like the iphone/paypal debacle.

Macs are faster. Then what? Then your average £300 pcworld special laptop. Of course they are. Even though you are paying a premium for the hardware doesn't mean the actual hardware (especially on the laptop side) is rubbish. But lets put it in context. At this point £1700 would buy you an entry level 15 inch mac book pro. For the same cost you can buy an Asus G73JW-3DE. Now check the specs. The Asus is far superior. With twice the RAM and twice the HDD Size (and they are hybrid drives), graphics again are superior plus you get 3D capable. The same goes for the desktop variations, where a custom built rig will double the specs of the mac. This is the premium you pay. Then theres the simple fact that if anything goes wrong with your machine repairs and spares are far cheaper on the PC side.

Macs are more stable. For the average turn on and go user this is probably true. This isn't down to the hardware, its the operating system.. The only people who argue this point are people who do not understand how to configure a computer correctly. So why are they even arguing this point. I ran my Windows 7 machine for 3 weeks straight (and it is heavily overclocked) without any system instability. Anyone who has been round to my gaff will testify my system gets a hammering 24/7. The only time you will ever see a system instability is when I'm messing about with the overclock profile. The fact is that most off the shelf laptops (especially from companies like Dell and HP/Compaq) are full of bloat ware and custom software that I think are core responsible components for slow systems and for instabilities. I fixed a laptop recently with the new Dell dashboard which frankly was hampering the machine so much. This isn't an operating system problem, this is a manufacturer problem. Mac users tend to forget that the OS and hardware are 2 different companies on an off the shelf PC. This is a completely different argument then. It becomes manufacturer of windows PC v's Mac. If it was my custom built rig v's Mac then theres no comparison. But thats the difference, Mac users tend to need that "Just work" machine, because they usually are technically in-adept. Which shows my point, why are you arguing in the first place.

Mac's are better for Video and Audio software. False. Due to apple's childish argument with Adobe alot of the software developed by adobe is now being opened to mass parallel processing utilising the GPU. This means that Video and Image editing is faster with a CUDA enabled Nvidia GPU. Yes thats right, a good £200 graphics card in your system will make light work of editing, and now a £1200 custom rig will beat a £2500 Mac Pro on these tasks.

I'm not saying Macs are bad, OSX is a great OS. From the hardware side though they are style over substance. If you are an Apple fanboy, and think you are technically adept then you have to agree with these comments. If you however are just trying to justify why you have overspent on your products because it's cool to like apple. Step off now before I flying headbutt you.

Apple create nice looking stuff. But on a whole the draconian DRM and overpriced hardware will continue to make sure we continue to see fanboy's claiming to be technically minded and spout crap arguments to try and justify the purchases they made. Fact is, you bought it because you have limited technical ability, and too much money. Thats why apple market to you. Like shooting fish in a barrel. Apple's new slogan should be "You want to be a Nerd, buy apple" ... when really it should be "So you like to think you're a nerd, but buying us show's you're not".

Stop arguing, you'll be better off trying to convince me Jesus was a white guy from oxford.

Why you should never listen to Film critics

2011-04-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

Seriously. After the slew of absolutely slating reviews of Sucker Punch I just felt I had to say something about these so called, up there own arse twat stains.

Everything is subjective in art. What one person loathes another person loves. I watch alot of film, and most people who personally know me will testify that I probably watch far too much. I actually would probably bet my fucking balls on the fact that I probably watch more film then James King, yes I loathe that twat, he's a fucking dick wad.

Anyway, back to the original point. There are films that buy reviewers. And there is also a rolling ball spectacle that happens. Take for example a top film critic, say the top 10 films critics of the world press, New York Times, Empire etc. If say 60% of those say "This film is shit" then every other b and c list critics will say "hey we gotta say it's shit or else people won't take us as serious film critics". This happens time and time again. It also works on the other side where 60% say its good and actually its a bag of week old monkey turds wrapped in old peoples disposable undergarments.

Case and point. Autumn 1999. Fight Club came out. Nearly every review I read said, "It's crap". Fact is I think alot of the reviewers didn't understand the context. Plus it's very difficult to condone against global corporatism when the film industry is funded and condones by it's nature this practice. Anyway looking around it's very difficult to find actual reviews of the time. As most reviewers ate there words with it being rated within the top 10 films of all times, most reviews were removed and replaced. The only one I could find is this one

http://film.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/Critic_Review/Guardian_review/0,4267,102483,00.html

Well done the Guardian, unfortunately you should of sacked Bradshaw. I'd take Hitlers word over his any day. This fucker gave watchmen 3 stars, and the Hangover 4 stars. If you rate the Hangover over Watchmen, then maybe you are the one that should of been labotomised in Sucker Punch.

Now I'm not saying Snyder's latest is brilliant. I liked it. Worth a watch. I would say that but I'm no critic. Watch it and make your own opinion. Isn't that what all art is about.

(Can I also say that most reviewers rated the Hangover, Where as my opinion of this film is that it was a pile of dog vomit resting on a freshly laid pig turd, yet apparently it was so good they are revamping it in a foreign country, I wish they had shot it for real and sent the fuckers, including the writers to fucking republic of Congo or some other war torn country in the hope they die horrifically, or at least captured and tortured for 10 years until they realize we aint paying for the fuckers release and just systematically execute the snivelling fuckwits)

Look some reviewers I love. But you should always take any review with a pinch of salt and learn to make your own fucking judgement. Show your IQ and stop being a sheep.

Brian Cox is MY Will Weaton

2011-03-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

Yes he's the loveable nerd everyone loves. He brings science alive and manages to interest everyone in the bigger picture. On a whole I quite like him. He's non offensive and enthusiastic. However with all TV Pseudo nerds he is going to get right on my fucking tits at least once.

Last night he was talking about the construction of the universe, whilst explaining he said this

"We know the entire Universe is constructed from 92 Elements, notice how I say "We know" and not "We think".

He then went on and several minutes later stated the following

"There is heavy proof that this theory is correct"

Brian, Brian, Brian, you silly boy. For a start if you would have used the terminology "Chemical Elements" then maybe I would give you a break. However using the method of light and chemical analysis is fine, WHEN YOU FUCKING BASE THIS ON ELEMENTS FOUND ON EARTH.

Lets just take this for an example, you paint a beach ball with 92 different colours and blow the fucking thing up with a nuclear missile, what is the likely hood that the atoms are dispersed evenly so the blast radius contains one particle of each colour within the designated area. Not much. Considering you believe in the big bang theory it's difficult to imagine that you truly believe in a unilateral spreading of all elements across the expanse of the Universe during the main event. To think this and profess the quote above is idiotic and nieve. Frankly this "Theory", is just that a Theory, and should not be spouted as fucking fact. End of.

Also can I point out that Chemical Elements are just that, what about Dark Matter. This theory is widespread and believed within the scientific community. If, and I say If (i'm not a prick and won't spout theory and pose it as fact), this is ever proven then a new elements table could be construed. This is why the terminology has changed from elements to "Chemical Elements" .

Brian do us a favour, stop trying to get the UK taxpayer to blast you off to the moon, and spend sometime in actually thinking about what you are saying. For fucks sake I wouldn't give a tramp a fiver to suck you off, let alone your own personal moon excursion .

It's easy to call the French a bunch of cheese eating surrender monkeys ... AND I W

2011-03-09T10:31:00.000-08:00

ON'T

Whats worst is that I spent half an hour on the fucking phone to a so called technician who barely could understand English over a specific monitor for a specific system.

He then blurted out, "It's a Ministry of Defence Project" ... WHAT THE FUCK....I mean are we that strapped we're not only outsourcing to the French that were outsourcing to French people who have limited fucking IT skills and even more limited FUCKING ENGLISH SKILLS.

Wasn't it only the fucking other week they were harking on about the failure/sucess of the latest aero fighter (obviously dependant on what news channel you were watching). England sucks. If I didn't have my little lad to consider I'd be fucking off on a home made raft to shores unknown, probably Ireland, or maybe Norway. It's obvious any attack on our country will be followed by the conventional white flag, isn't that how the French's Guide to being Attacked step one goes . Obviously we are following in suit. Wouldn't mind, they were even phoning from a french fucking number.

Fucking ConDem's wankers the lot of them.

GDC CryEngine 3

2011-03-08T13:53:00.000-08:00

Great showcase.....Maybe the reports of Microsoft looking for new hardware developers was not unwarranted..this shizzle looks like leaving the consoles for fucking dead...

TIMMMMYYYYY!!!

2011-03-08T12:55:00.000-08:00

Customers again. Can't live without them as a business. However alot of the time you are simply begging for them to drop of the face of the fucking earth. Not just to please you, but probably would be better for the human fucking race.

Today I encountered something I have never encountered. And before you get all fucking upity about this kind of customer I want you to read through and tell me if I'm not wrong before judging.

Wheelchair users and/or the house bound.

Mainly this week I have been providing support for OS's (Outside Sources from our web portals), these are customers that require assistance via email or phone. Most of its inane crap "Is this memory compatible" "is this ac adapter for a dell vostro 1400 suitable for a dell vostro 1400" and so on.

I assisted a guy on the purchase of a low profile graphics card. It can be a tricky subject as the power requirements can be specific and we do have alot of returns due to this. I spent about 40 emails bringing up the specs, looking at his machine, what he was using the card for (a HTPC setup with his 50' TV) looking at what the best card suitable for his needs were, answering his questions and just playing the good tech guy. He was grateful and bought the card. Alls good.

He received the card, fitted it. Then sent in this fucking diatribe about how he'd found it £6 cheaper at another online source and he felt cheated and wanted to return it or a partial refund/pricematch. I told him we couldn't compete with that price and that if he wished to return it unused he would get a full refund. Then it got worst

"I have accidentally installed it and It will put me at great pain to return the card as I am in a wheel chair and house bound and this extra expense cannot be justified as i'm living on the poverty line"

WHAT THE FUCK. BOO FUCKING HOO. RIGHT FOR A START IF YOU ARE HOUSE BOUND YOU ARE PLAYING A GUILT TRIP ON IT. YOU TOOK A GOOD 2 HOURS OF MY TIME. THATS LESS THEN MINIMUM WAGE FOR THE ASSISTANCE. YOU WILL NOT BE ELIGIBLE FOR A FULL REFUND AS THE CARD HAS BEEN USED AND NON FAULTY. YOU HAD CHANCE TO SEARCH FOR A BETTER DEAL ONLINE BEFORE PURCHASING IT, AND NOW YOU PLAY THIS FUCKING SHIT PISS POOR PITY TRIP TO TRY AND GET A BETTER PRICE, I BET YOU GOT THAT 50' TV FOR FUCK ALL AS WELL DID YOU. IF YOU ARE HOUSEBOUND YOU PROBABLY ARE ON MORE BENEFITS AND EARN MORE MONEY THEN ME. SIMPLY GO FUCK YOURSELF.

IF YOU AREN'T IN A WHEELCHAIR THEN YOU ARE SCUM FOR TRYING THIS. EITHER WAY WHEELCHAIR OR NOT YOU ARE FUCKING SCUM. I THOUGHT HANDICAPABLE PEOPLE WANT A FAIR CRACK, YOU SIR SICKEN ME SHOWING THAT PEOPLE WILL PREY ON ANYTHING THEY CAN TO TRY AND GET WHATEVER THEY CAN FOR FREE.

You may be thinking "Chill out", according to the people who usually do the OS's this shit happens 6-7 times a week minimum. Either people think it's good haggling practice or it's probably been reported a great way to deal with mail order and webcompanies on "I'mafuckingtightarsewanker.com".

Truly Sickening. We told him he can return it but he will not be eligible for the shipping costs to be refunded. That in itself including return costs will be more then the 6 quid. I await his response in the morning. I'm trusting it won't be good, but hey at least he can't go complain at citizens advice as getting through on the phones a nightmare, you usually can only get advice by going to the office, but he can't do that, he's housebound.

I am not saying they are all like that. I don't believe in tarring people with the same brush, it just shows that no matter what affliction, there are fucking scum buckets in every walk of life.

Charlie and the Apple Factory

2011-03-07T02:17:00.000-08:00

Just Watch it ... LMAO

Probably the greatest apple parody ever....thanks Geeks are Sexy ...

daniweb

2011-03-06T13:45:00.000-08:00

So a friend of mine just sent me a link from the fucking retard station that is daniweb.

Now I'm all for friendly helpful sites. Can I just point out that daniweb and everything surrounding daniweb is for stupid fucking people.

Point and case, I went on there and the first post I see is this

"Is the connection of Sony home system HT-DDW7500 compatible with LG 42PJ350R Plasma TV"

errrrr .... google it....within 3 seconds I found out both components are HDMI based. So yes. For the time it's took you to log in and write this frankly retarded dumbass question you could of googled it and found out yourself. Oh and can I just point out that having quite a good audio setup but with a tv that only just scrapes 720p is fucking retarded. YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE THE FUCKING INTERNET IT'S NOT FUCKING HARD TO DO THE FUCKING RESEARCH. DANIWEB IS ACTUALLY BELOW PCWORLD TECHGUYS. THE PEOPLE ON THERE ACTUALLY DESERVE LABOTIMISING.

People, stay away from it, any other reviews or fucking links will get you blocked from my social network lists. It's not big, it's not clever, I have more joy reading the fucking graffiti in the local supermarket toilet , apparently "keiths mrs is well dirty", now thats entertainment.

On another note I am actually tempted to join it, take a week off work, I recon I could answer 60% of the questions on their in a week. At least I know there's at least 800,000 IT retards on the planet that speak English. No wonder I'm busy at work.

3DS ... The Travesty of Nintendo's Advertising

2011-03-06T00:24:00.000-08:00

Here we go again, the company that brought you the imagery of the perfect family in the Redknapps. When we all know most of there evenings really involve Harry drinking too much scotch and learing over Louise all night only to be left slyly fapping one off in the toilet using his own tears as lubrication.

Don't be fooled, thats not a look of joy, thats fear of the anal beating he's going to endure.

Let's not forget the ultimate digital version of JLS's "Cum on the biscuit" game as well, which we all know ends in pretty much gang rape of the little one, its no wonder he walks round like he has a loaf in his pants, thats what happens when you get 3 guys going in dry.

'See, it's awesome.'

What do we have this time. A group of people crowing on about how "Awesome" and "Amazing" it is. Don't get me wrong it's a nifty bit of kit. 3D will work well glasses free on these kind of small, 1 viewing point devices. Pretty sure this and the new LG Optimus will be probably the biggest selling 3D tech this year.

Let's face it though the group of people they use to hark on and convey the "Awesomeness" of this device would probably use the same descriptors if you shown them a monkey shit in a bag with a 60% peanut-to-crap ratio. Fair enough if they had Stephen Hawkings or any other admired scientist, even Patrick Moore would do for fucks sake, then I may take the advert in the sense it was made. I have the sneaking suspicion though Professor Hawkings would not use the word awesome. He actually knows what the word awesome means. The size of the galaxy and universe is awesome, mans existence and evolution from primordial soup is awesome. It annoys me so much having a bunch of people who you frankly do not know, people who may be about as tech savvy that they think a simple TV remote control is "Beyond" there understanding. We don't know if these people live in caves, they may have been picked out from some nomadic tribe and given a makeover. (If they had though I'm pretty sure you will see it on BBC3 sometime, "Hotter then my Nomad" or some other makeover shite).

I WANT PROOF THAT THESE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SEEING, I WANT CERTIFICATES, ACTUALLY I WOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY JUST TO SEE ONE OF THEM BE ABLE TO WRITE THEIR OWN FUCKING NAME.

There's nothing worst then the average moron being amazed by a device. Fucking hell, these people look like they would be amazed if I shown them "The Seperated thumb" trick. Which my 3 year old disapproves of now as he finds it totally "Non-Amazing".

Teaching him well

2011-03-05T08:59:00.001-08:00

Is it wrong to be teaching my 3 year old the joys of mmorpg's ???

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Are American's really that stupid

2011-03-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

It's the question we all ask. Time and time again. The answer is frankly, NO. To disparage an entire continent based on the premise of a few, is a stupid thing to do, at the very best.

There is however a big fuck off BUT coming.

They, their government, their military, their scientists and the general nerd population of the US do not help their cause. Take for example the US Air forces. Unfortunately I have the extreme joy of dealing with requests for hardware from their military "Top Minds" on a weekly basis,

We need graphics cards from 5 year's ago for simulators, we need 5 year old cpu's for our guidance systems. It continues. Many people think the military are advanced but unfortunately the heavy amount of red tape is the equivalent of the brown tape found in your average scene for constructing a toilet in a scene from slum dog millionaire.

The point is they don't help themselves, for example these following comments found today on a popular website, actually fuck the animosity it was toms hardware,

You think this is the first instance of american nerd fail think again. I was recently told "You are from Britain what the fuck do you know about computers".

Where do I start. I am from Manchester. The home of computing. I live in a city where the first ever computer is on show at our local museum. I studied VLSI (yeah look that up usfeckwipes) at Manchester University. Which a degree from there is worth 500,000 times more then your US accredited degree's. Finally though, YOUR PHONING ME, YES ME AT FUCKING WORK TO ASK MY ADVICE. THE ONLY THING I WOULD PHONE YOUR HOUSE FOR IS TO TALK DIRTY TO YOUR FUCKING MRS. AND THATS ONLY BEACAUSE I HAVE A THING ABOUT WOMEN WITH NO TEETH.

Not all Americans are like this, but the so called nerds, well I'd rather deal with the stereotypical rednecks, at least there sisters will put out. It's no fucking wonder the jocks beat them up on a regular basis in every middle american based soap/film I see. They frankly fucking deserve it.

The Fastra II

2011-03-04T04:44:00.000-08:00

CUDA is probably the most relevant new technology, which unlike 3D, will actually make a massive fooking difference to the way we perceive high end systems and computers on a whole.

Using the parallel processing units within a GPU we can accelerate tasks, such as hacking, video encoding, you know the stuff that actually takes serious raw data processing, to 50 times that based on the CPU alone, imagine being able to re-encode all your porn in a fraction of the time.

Welcome to Fastra II. These crazy Belgian nerds have created a beast of absolute amazement.

And yes for all you fuckin trolls it does play Crysis, in fact you probably could multi-box on the thing.

For more information check out

http://fastra2.ua.ac.be/

http://www.nvidia.com/object/what_is_cuda_new.html

AMD Llano Unveiled

2011-03-04T04:32:00.000-08:00

http://www.tomshardware.com/reviews/amd-llano-demo-cebit-2011-sandy-bridge,2883.html#xtor=RSS-182

Now I have never been a fan of AMD mobile platforms. They just generate too much heat for my liking, although the GPU part do tend to perform well. But got to admit this looks phenomenal. Like a drunken cagefighter Intel have took a fooking headbutt to the nuts over the sandybridge debacle , and now AMD are making them pay with a chinese burn of epic proportions. If this performance is correct then I have to congratulate AMD on finally breaking my previous convictions on there mobile platforms.

Kudos AMD.

And so the Apple Spin Wheel comes forward

2011-03-04T02:25:00.000-08:00

So Apple have just revealed there "Post PC" Ideology on the world and it's a marketing doozy, let me give you an exert

"In this new world, Apple no longer has to compete on specs and features, nor does it want to. There is no Mac vs. PC here -- only "the future" versus "the past." It won't be a debate about displays, memory, wireless options -- it will be a debate about the quality of the experience. Apple is not just eschewing the spec conversation in favor of a different conversation -- it's rendering those former conversations useless. It would be like trying to compare a race car to a deeply satisfying book. In a post-PC world, the experience of the product is central and significant above all else. It's not the RAM or CPU speed, screen resolution or number of ports which dictate whether a product is valuable; it becomes purely about the experience of using the device."

Can I bluntly point out that a major crux of Apple's actual Personal Computer market is now facing a daunting time. Since the argument with Adobe they had a bit of an upset. Adobe previously used coding in there systems which allowed Apple Mac Pro's render video in products such as Element's and Element's Pro and also Photoshop quicker then the rival operating systems. It's a long winded problem but is basically down to how the operating system handles the threads and multiple threads for the rendering sequence. Albeit regardless of this the top end PC's were still faster but were not cheaper. However Adobe pulled something out of there glorious rectums to basically shit on Apple PC's.

CUDA, thats right, massive parallel processing using the graphics GPU available from within their products. Wether Adobe did this as a "Stick this in your pipe and smoke it Mr Jobs" the fact is that now you can build a PC with a few dedicated Nvidia cards which will render 20-30 times quicker then the top of the line Mac Pro for less then 1/10th of the price. Making savings of thousands. So what do they do, reinvent the game, I have to admire the ultimate bullshit this company will churn in the face of defeat. They are saying Post PC as frankly they have killed there own product which sold primarily for one reason, and that was high end video editing.

Bravo Apple, I applaud your marketing genius, no doubt the apple fan boys will be lapping it up. But as per usual the actual computer users will not, your closed systems have seen to that.

Sage Pay ... Crock of shit

2011-03-04T01:21:00.000-08:00

Yet again Sage Pay is down. Considering it's my place of works primary payment gateway it's a fucking joke. The system monitor makes me so fucking irate. It's full of these "It's fine, but were not letting you use it" fucking bullshit update status's.

I have never, ever seen a complete lack of skills from one company. We actually recorded the Director of the company admitting that the upgrade shennanigans that went on were "His fault and he takes full responsibility". If I had shown an incompetence as great as this in my job I WOULD GET THE FUCKING SACK.

IE9 Launching sometime soon ...

2011-03-03T14:05:00.000-08:00

Who frankly gives a fuck. I'll give it 2.3 seconds before at least 26 vulnerabilities are found. If you are using it because it came with Windows. That's not a valid excuse. Just by thinking about it your card details are already being circulated direct to Colonel Gadaffi ... Libya just hates you that much.

ooo Celebrities again

2011-03-03T13:13:00.000-08:00

So celebrities are off to Africa to live in an absolute horrific environment. I have an idea. Instead of just them living there for a few days, how about we do the deportation factor.

Thats right, if they get voted to stay in, they have to stay their inevitably. For the rest of their existence. When an iPhone is classed as "10 years rent" in a country then I am sorry the country needs help. But sending them celebs is just not the way.

I'd rather see the Jeremy Kyle dole bums sent there. Let them see the suffering. Maybe they will realise that the station of "Toilet unblocker" in the local McDonalds is there calling in life. The ungrateful little shits.

You can't help where you are born, and we should be helping. But is really sending them Lenny fucking Henry really gonna help them. Really?

The truth about so called "Gadget" sites

2011-03-03T12:58:00.000-08:00

People often confuse fucking gadget sites with technology sites. I mean gadgeteer for example. I have had many posts deleted from there that I just give up. For example todays offering.

http://the-gadgeteer.com/2011/03/03/soggy-doggy-doormat-review/

Thats right, it's a thick rug, it soaks up all sorts. So does fucking andrex. Who gives a shit. I mean fair enough there would be a larger market for whore houses and nude booths, them places where "mysterious" liquids are definitely not required by any means necessary. Does it warrant a 500 word review of what is basically a sheeps carcass lined with Bounty.

There are many so called gadget and tech sites that just miss the mark for miles. Engadget and the gadgeteer are by far the 2 worst sites. Frequented by trolls that argue "apple" "No Ubuntu". They cannot settle on the fact that different peoples needs require different things. The main argument is that "it just works". I hear this alot. My Windows 7 machines "just works", my old Windows 3.1 systems "Just worked". The difference is that I KNOW WHAT I'M FUCKING DOING.

These sites are a wart on the actual tech nerds ball sack. They claim independent reviews but are so obviously corrupt to there advertisers. If my blog ever got big for any reason I would say "Yeah I'll do a good review, and take your money" then pronounce "Yeah I took there money, so just don't listen to my reviews". Albeit Apple would have to buy me a private island for me to do a good review of any products. Fact is you can't trust these sites. Even some of the stalwart sites I have seen over the years have had "Dubious" reviews on them.

Sites I tend to hold in high regard for the average reader can be found below. Just don't believe everything you read.

www.tomshardware.com
www.oc3d.net
www.geeksaresexy.com (funny and well worth a look)
www.techdirt.com

WROTE ON MY IPAD.