The random experiences of a new father....

boom boom

2006-06-20T13:30:00.000-07:00

Rohan's new word is "boom"

everytime something hits the ground, he says, "boom"
everytime I say the word "boom," he says, "boom"

and yesterday after letting out a fart, he said, "boom."

Is he psychic?

2006-06-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

I swear that Rohan is browsing the web when no one is watching him. Somehow he must be transporting himself out of his crib and in front of the computer to see what I've posted. The very same day I posted about his improved sleep -- Rohan fell off the wagon.

The reality is that ever since Rohan started sleeping better, there have been times when he has regressed. Generally whenever there is a major change to his surroundings or his schedule (time change, travel away from home, etc) he needs to be closer to us. This is especially acute if we're away from home.

Anyways, the other day we were at home and for the most part it was just like any other day. Rohan went to be around 8:30 -- about 15 minutes later than usual. He woke up around 10:30, again at 2:30, and again at 5. L and I have a system that has pretty much worked out to this: if he wakes up before 4:30 AM or so, it is my responsibility to get him back to sleep. This has more to do with keeping him from nursing himself back to sleep than anything else. But if he is up for more than 30 min or so, I hand him over to L.

With each wakeup, a quick 5 - 10 minutes of carrying him around did the trick and he was back asleep. Who knows what is going through his little head...did he get scared? hungry? thirsty? He never takes the water when I offer it to him, so I dunno.

Also, it seems unfair to make him cry it out when we don't know what ails him. Other nights (like last night) -- Rohan just wanted to stay awake. He kept pulling books off the shelves to read. So a healthy 1 minute of crying alone in his crib at 8:45 PM was sufficient for him to go to sleep quickly when I came back into the room.

sleeep

2006-06-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

The latest gap to my last post is on order of 4 months. That's nearly 1/3 of Rohan's life. Its like saying I went 8 years without writing a paper...well i guess I did if you include the first 8 years of my life. How many papers does a 2nd grader write?

Anyways - I thought I would write about the many many things that have happened over the last 4-5 months. First things...Sleep.

In one of my last posts before the radio silence, I wrote about buying a book called, "The No Cry Sleep Solution." A highly rated book -- we looked to it to save our sanity and our kid. Rohan was waking up every 2-3 hours no matter what we tried. So we tried the book. And we tried...and we tried. It did provide some nuggets of very helpful information, but ultimately didn't get us to the 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep we longed for. Things we did learn from the book:

how to keep the kid from falling asleep while nursing. This is key so he doesn't suddenly wake up in the crib and wonder how in the hell he got there
the concept of a "lovey." Basically a stuffed toy that accompanies him to bed and is a bit of a "sleep trigger." Rohan loves his stuffed horse and we're already afraid of what happens when it falls apart (or worse -- simply gets lost)
that pacifiers can be a real problem
the value of a regular schedule / routine

But for whatever reason - Rohan just didn't respond very well to the soft approach championed by the book. But we persevered. For a while, we just slept on the floor with him. Since our bed isn't big enough to keep us all comfortable, we just made up a bed on the floor. That worked...for a bit

But it wasn't getting us any closer to where we wanted to be. And he wasn't showing any real improvement -- if anything he was getting more accustomed to having us nearby.

Throughout it all - a number of people proposed and swear by the "cry it out." If anything I was the most reluctant to go down that path. Having read too much Dr. Sears and Elizabeth Pantley -- I had visions of Rohan growing up to be a mass murderer.

As we tried to get Rohan comfortable in the crib by himself, the video monitor helped a lot -- We had experimented with giving him a bunch of pacifiers to self soothe himself if necessary. What generally happened was that he kicked them out of his crib when he pulled himself up. So we had to kick the pacifier habit before starting down the "cry it out" path...

So in March we tried it. And it wasn't easy...At all.

But over about 5 days or so, he started to get it. The bouts of crying diminished and we all actually started sleeping much better.

No questions that Dad had a much softer heart than mom and if it had been entirely up to Dad - Rohan would probably still be waking up every 2-3 hours. As it is, he is generally sleeping 8-9 hours without a whimper. Unfortunately the video monitor reached the end of its line (fell down the stairs), but now that he is sleeping well, we don't really need it.

crawling!!!

2006-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

With whatever he learned in jersey, rohan suddenly started crawling. A light seemed to go off in his head! He suddenly realized how to coordinate his arms with his legs and off to the races he went!

Here's a link to Rohan from a couple of days ago before he started coordinating his arms and legs. He is focused so intently on knocking down a jar of marbles that he isn't even thinking about looking smooth for the camera.

Knock down the marbles!

eastern travel

2006-01-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

Over the past weekend we ventured out to the other coast on a combined work and family visit trip. Rohan had a chance to see some of my cousins and aunts and L had a chance to spend some quality face time in the office.

Given that we were taking 6 hour flights, we elected to buy Rohan a seat. For both flights, this ensured we were able to get some amount of sleep. It took Rohan 1 - 1.5 hours to settle down once we were airborne before he crashed out. And given that our flight out was a red-eye, it was a bit of a surprise that it took him so long to crash out. Then again, all the people, all the other babies, etc. -- hard to fall asleep with all that going on. Being his usual self, he was smilling at everyone he saw almost trying to start up a conversation, "hey, i'm going somewhere with my parents...Are you going there too? where are we going again?"

Once we got out there, Rohan had his first real expose to snow. I don't think he cared as much as the family from San Diego who were taking pictures. Nevertheless, the whole family spent much of the day catching up on the sleep lost on the flight. But later he got to meet the little cousins who couldn't figure out why he couldn't talk or walk.

For whatever reason, they kept sticking Rohan's toys on his head. Granted they were 7 and 5 years old respectively and had not been around too many infants -- but why did they fell like sticking the toys on his head? Given Rohan's goofy proportions - he can't really reach the top of his head too easily.

Nevertheless, the weekend went well. Rohan started trying to crawl a bit more....more like dragging (arms pull lifeless legs forward) as none of his appendages are actually working together.

The trip back was good as well, but overall - it took around 12 hours door - to - door between the 3 hour car drive from NJ to philly and then the 6 hour flight. The house was an icebox when we got home (around midnight) and we blew the fuse box trying to heat the house back up with space heaters before the furnace got going. Oh well.....

solids

2005-12-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

The munchkin started solids a little while ago so the link Seshu sent me was more relevant than expected. An NYT piece about great toys included a bit about a food grinder. While we haven't got the grinder yet, it does look like a nice thing to have.

We like to eat healthy and want the kid to do the same; as a result, we've elected to ensure most of his foods are home prepared rather than bottled. Don't get me wrong, the bottled foods are nice, but we ran out of choices pretty quick since -- for now -- rohan is a vegetarian.

So the food mill might be an easier way to grind up the tasty morsels of food we're shoveling in Rohan's mouth. Well, at least somewhat easier than the current hand mashing. However, we have just picked up a nice food processor so it has become significantly easier to grind up potatoes and spinach for dinner.

Best of all -- in a month or so I'm going to need some dental work and i'll be eating the same foods for a couple of days. Wonder if L will feed me too :-)

the crib...a postscript

2005-12-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

Months ago, i wrote about our search for the perfect baby crib, ultimately we ended up settling on a convertible crib from Ragazzi. While I have to admit that the crib looks really nice, the key feature of many other cribs is one I actually wish we had right now.

As much as we try to avoid it, Rohan frequently falls asleep in our arms and then we have to stick him in the crib. The convertible model that we have, does not have sides that drop down to facilitate depositing said baby peacefully into his bed. As a result, we end up doing advanced gymastics to lean over the side rail and settle him into the mattress without disturbing his slumber. No question that this is not the best way to get your baby to sleep through the night given that at some point, he will rouse and wonder how he got from our arms to his crib -- but it is what works these days....

happy toferky's

2005-12-01T14:37:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was a blast ! Rohan's grandparents (my parents) and his uncle (my brother) were in town to help avoid us schleping through airports on the busy travel days of the year.

It is remarkable to see the changes that Rohan is undergoing in terms of who he is okay with. Back when he was 4- 5 months old, everyone was cool. He didn't care who carried him, who held him or who played with him. Now that he's nearly 7 months old (tomorrow!) he is a lot more discerning about who he is comfortable with. I guess it is a good defensive mechanism, but still hard to watch. Well, more difficult for my parents than for me.

I think my mom was most upset given that every time she tried to hold the munchkin he started crying within a few minutes. With luck, by the time we get to x-mas, he'll be more comfortable around her.

Nevertheless, i had a blast with everyone and esp the kid since it was the longest stretch of time I have been able to spend with him without work getting in the way. It is always hard to tell if Rohan noticed me being around much more (or his nanny not being there)....

While we all kicked it at home, i got a lot more time to feed the kid solid foods. It is actually a game more than an actual feeding. Rohan wants to feed himself, or just chew on the spoon -- so it ends up being a lot of blocking and tackling :-)

is this thing on?

2005-11-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

Holy crap...how long has it been since i've posted? I'm surprised blogger hasn't pulled the plug. Anyways, i've been AWOL for a number of reasons:

work...finally started catching up to me. I like the job, i'm not working too many excess hours, but am far more focused at work than i used to be
i'm spending more time with the munchkin. He is on a pretty good schedule lately and last thing i want to do is get home late before he crashes out
trying to squeeze in extra time with L
have realized there are lots of other "daddy" blogs out there and it is waaaaay easier to read a post than write one yourself. And a fair number of them are really good
sleep deprivation has precluded my ability to do much of anything

However, i also realized that my purpose for starting this thing was two fold and i'm failing on both counts. It was a way for me to share my experiences with others but at the same time, keep a diary / living record of life with Rohan. The blog has been a great way for me to document for posterity all his little achievements as well as my own emergence into fatherhood. To that end, here are all the things that have happened since i actually posted last:

Rohan got over his first ear infection. Mild as it was, it did pass and without the use of antibiotics. Yes the doctor was only a little too willing to provide the drugs, but the kid kicked it on his own
Rohan has decided that he likes to get up at night...a lot...i really mean a lot. It started with the ear infection that prevented him from sleeping properly. We stuck him in our bed just so that we could all get some level of sleep only to realize that he was not all too happy to go back to his little crib. Nevertheless, we're working on it. Our current book of choice is The No-Cry Sleep Solution as we are trying to get the kid okay with sleeping on his own without waking us up to come help him get back to sleep. Sure we could Ferber-ize him, but that just sounded too painful. Especially since Rohan's crying ratchets up a notch for every 10 seconds of crying. He is at least sleeping in a crib, but it is the portable crib in our room and not the 8x more expensive one in his room.
Rohan turned 6 months and got his latest round of shots. Yet again, his shots coincided with his "birthday." Of course this time I helped the kid out and was able to prevent him from getting one extra shot. Either the nurse is incompetent or unable to read a medical history -- but she wanted to give him his "3rd" Hep B shot. However, she didn't seem to notice that he actually had his first round when he was born and this would have made it the fourth. Mental note -- do not blindly accept what they are putting into your kid's body
Not only did he get his standard shots, but he also got a flu shot. Lucky for him, he needs to go in for a second flu shot in a few weeks. Apparently first time flu shot recipients need two rounds for it to take...
First solid foods....A couple of weeks before Rohan hit the 6 month milestone we started him on solid foods. The kid looooves them. So far he's had rice cereal, bananas, pears, peaches, a bit of apple and a bit of papaya. He started to get all blocked up again, so we supplemented with a bit of prune juice. So far so good...but those diapers are getting mighty stinky....
sitting up ! Rohan's able to sit up for extended periods of time now without falling over. Well, unless he reaches for a toy that he just dropped or something. For the most part he is really happy sitting around now. The first question everyone is asking though, " is he crawling yet?" Nope.....and we don't seem to have any idea on when that might happen. If anything Rohan seems more content to try to walk first. Every opportunity he has to pull himself up to standing he exploits

'whew...i'm sure there are other things...but i'll try to post those on a more regular basis....

do elephants drool?

2005-10-10T21:57:00.000-07:00

given the copious amounts of drool that end up all over rohan, his clothes, my glasses, his toys, etc. it is no wonder that he isn't a huge baby. How could any person gain weight when they loose 10 lbs a day in drool?

I have no idea if he is actually teething, but I think he might be. Does the drool lessen the pain of new teeth? Is the drool in anticipation of solid foods? Or is the drool just Rohan's way of sharing his joy with us?

Aside from dogs, i have not come across too many animals that leave puddles of drool all over themselves and others. Maybe you just can't see it....

intelligent design of what?

2005-10-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

Based on the symptoms of Rohan’s cold, we started to believe that he might have developed an ear infection. Besides the constant ear tugging -- which could be attributed to a number of things -- he was very irritable at night and whenever we laid him down.

Owing to the very short Eustachian tube of an infant and the fact that it is nearly horizontal in reference to the ear and mouth -- kids ears get infected fairly easily. The tube gets blocked and as a result the fluid cannot drain. Consequently an infection develops behind the ear drum. As the infection worsens, the pain increases behind the drum and makes everyone’s lives a lot more painful.

With all the discussion surrounding intelligent design these days (I'm convinced it is the flying spaghetti monster) it begs the question of what was he/she/it thinking when this system was developed. If I were going to design something of the like -- i might make it less susceptible to infection. Why not give the newborn some instinct on how to prevent it from happening, alleviate the pain, or just communicate what is going on? much like a dolphin knows how to breathe and swim when born – why are humans unable to clear their eustachian tubes? Oh well…maybe Darwin was right…

Nevertheless, we took a trip to our friendly (backup) doctor who confirmed that it was in fact a mild infection. Score one for our library of resources – though we could have made the diagnosis at home if we had that little ear flashlight thing....But then he waffled. Between making us believe that it should go away on its own in a few days, he also gave us a prescription for an antibiotic. Sooooo...what to do? wait for it to clear on its own? or start the kid on drugs early. We are electing to wait it out...Undoubtedly; many sleepless nights lay in store...

When pressed on the question of the follow up visit, said doctor stated that it did not really matter provided he is coming back for his next round of shots anyway…umm, okay. Needless to say, the backup doc is not on our list of ones to recommend or visit again.

higher spirits

2005-09-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

It was difficult making sense of the world over the last month. Between the massive hurricane that left one of my favorite cities under water and the discovery that my aunt has an advanced stage of stomach cancer....I'm left wondering what gives.

We visited a new temple in the area over the weekend. It is an unusual set up as it contains idols from most of the world religions (Hinduism, Sikhism, Jainism, Buddhism, and Christianity) with the notable exception of Islam. Obviously I was not part of that decision, so I have no introspection on the background -- I only found the exclusion odd. And of course the Christian representation is actually of Mary and not Jesus.

Nevertheless, as I'm sitting there, I find myself wondering what set of spiritual values will I be able to instill in Rohan. Though my parents did their best to give me a core set of beliefs, they aren't necessarily how I live my day to day as I've drifted more towards Buddhism. Still I do not wear my religion on my sleeve and foresee a difficult road in the future of conveying religious beliefs to Rohan. Never mind my own difficulties with the subject, but Rohan's mom has a slightly differing set of beliefs.

How do parents with differing beleifs instill any set of values in their kids without trying to teach them both? Is the usual rule of thumb just to let the more religious parent pass on their beliefs?

Ultimately, I want him to make his own choice. A choice based on education and actual understanding of other religions such that he can choose his own path. At the end of the day if he wants to practice all or none, it should be up to him.

first cold

2005-09-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

Lucky for the kid, he caught my cold leading into last weekend. Even luckier still is that he has no idea that he can breathe through his nose or how to blow it clean. So...that means every so often while sleeping, he'll struggle to get air and ultimately wakes up and starts crying. So in his parents will come to soothe him and restart the process. Needless to say that the renewed lack of sleep was the key reason for lack of postings on the blog.

As a result...the kid, who could at one point sleep for 6 - 7 hour stretches, now wakes every two to three. Just when L and I were developing a routine around him, he ups and changes things. To be expected I suppose.

The cold has been interesting. It started with him getting scared every time I started coughing my brains out. Then he started acting like he was mimicking my cough -- like it was a form of communication. Turns out it was a predecessor of him developing the same cold. I have to admit that the book from Dr. Sears has been very helpful in identifying his symptoms and things we could do to help him out. The AAP book had some high level information, but Dr. Sears is far more detailed.

From the book, we realized that we need to help the munchkin clean out his nose with the wonderfully popular nose sucker thingy. It isn't hard to imagine why Rohan is afraid of it -- it looks like it could suck out his brains. Actually I wonder how adults would react to their boogers sucked out with a giant bulb...

experimenting with video

2005-09-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

Before Rohan was born, we did what everyone does and bought a video camera with the hopes and intent of documenting all of Rohan's life and milestones.

The reality is that we're a picture family. We choose to take more pictures than anything else and have to mentally remind ourselves to capture more on video. The little video recorder built into the digital camera is proving quite useful in a pinch.

The bigger question is distribution. The video camera, while digital, still records to tape. So transferring that to the computer is a bit of a challenge. Beyond that, how do you get it to far flung corners of the world? Lo and behold, google is taking over online content one small step at a time. Google video seemed to be a decent place to stick it and let everyone else see it without mailing out 5mb files every so of often. The first attempt went okay, but for whatever reason, i can't get the special google media player to work on some of my computers.

a tiny love product we don't love

2005-09-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

hard to believe given that rohan loves his gymini and used to really like his mobile. Given our history with the brand, we picked up the Takealong Arch since it was one of the first things we saw upon entering the mother ship (Babies R Us).

Looked like a great product and why not give Rohan something to entertain himself during a ride in the seat. Its easy enough to get on and off - two big claws on each end. But the arch is pretty bulky and did a great job of obscuring the kid. Hard to imagine, but the toys are so big, you can't see the kid behind them very easily if you're looking straight in. Plus i think Ro' outgrew it by the time he got it...Kind of like his mobile - around the 1 month mark would have been the best time to give it to him...

Still, a reasonable value at $15 given that the mobile cost $50 and the Gymini $70.

new stuff

2005-09-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

We started buying stuff again...not that we ever really took a haitus from it, but just hadn't bought too many noteworthy things.

Since the cloth diaper experiment sort of fizzled...At best Rohan is in a cloth diaper for a couple of hours a day...we needed a better place to put the used disposables. Luckily since the kid doesn't actually poop all that often, the standard trash can has been working pretty well.

Nevertheless, he's going to be eating real foods pretty soon and legend has it that the stink can be pretty severe. After consulting our little library of experts, we settled on the Diaper Champ. Why? cause i hate the gillette razor business model. Give the platform away for free/cheap and keep them coming back for refills -- in this case that being the Diaper Genie.

Sure, the DG could probably keep in smells better since it seals everything into little sausages, but its bad enough that i'm adding tons of litter to the environment with the diapers, i don't want to wrap each and ever diaper in its own little non-degradable coffin.

indexing

2005-09-20T00:56:00.000-07:00

so the web crawlers at the mighty google have indexed this site...that means the little search bar up top will actually pull relevant stuff from this blog.

it also means that any two-bit shyster can add comments to the topics that barely glance the surface of what they are trying to sell. For example, the "payday loans" guy has commented about 5 times in the last week -- i can only guess it is because somewhere in my archives i mentioned that babies are expensive.

hair loss

2005-09-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

remarkably...i'm not talking about my own.

For whatever reason, rohan was born with a huge head of hair. Well not a huge head, just lots of hair. Add to the hair on his head was all the body hair that accompanies newborns, lanugo or something, and he looked like a tiny little monkey child.

Anyways, the hair on his body disappeared after a few days -- and luckily enough since i was starting to develop a complex given that he had more body hair than me. But over the last few weeks, more of his head hair has gone the way of the caribbean monk seal.

This too, is "normal." Given that i have another complex about my head hair (i know i'm going bald, i'd just like to know the timeline), it is distressing to see little baby hair strands littering his bed, car seat, and all the other places he plops his head. Luckily he's completely oblivious, but maybe i can use this chance to instill in him a sense that bald is okay.....

lots of fathers....

2005-09-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

I've quickly come to the realization that there are lots and lots of fathers (and mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc) writing about newborn babies. Here are some of my favorites (so far...). Hopefully i won't loose too many of my faithful readers....

daddytypes
pet cobra
because i'm your father
more diapers
metro dad

many of the good blogs seem to be east coast centric. Not that that's a bad thing -- just a slightly different perspective. Arguably, navigating the subway with a baby and stroller is a bit different than finding a parking spot at the local mega mall.

Mr. Dad Conference call

2005-09-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

In case you want to speak to someone who knows what they are talking about...i got this care of the Mr. Dad's newsletter
~~~~~~~~
On Thursday September 22, at 7pm in the East, 4pm in the West, Mr. Dad (aka Armin Brott) will be doing a one-hour nationwide conference call to answer your specific parenting questions. It's completely f*ree (all you pay for is the long distance call), and you can ask anything you want. We'll answer as many questions as we can in the one hour call.

Write this number down and call in to participate... 641-792-4100. You'll then be prompted to enter this code to access our special call: 306379#.

neato...

2005-09-16T21:49:00.000-07:00

http://www.bemboszoo.com/Bembo.swf

this is the kind of crap i'm probably going to be spending a lot of time looking at on the web with the muchkin once he can use a mouse.

and on the sixth day...

2005-09-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

he pooped.

Rohan lasted a full six days before filling his diaper...While he didn't break any records in doing this (the nurses did not seem too alarmed) he did have his parents continually checking. Not surprisingly, Rohan started getting a little "uncomfortable" as time dragged on.

We're still trying to understand why...was it the bjorn? doubtful that it was diet related as that has not changed. Maybe it was just a test of wills....

second round of shots

2005-09-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

Rohan withered under the duress of his second set of four successive shots. Coincidentally it was on the same day as his four month birthday. For the most part he did okay...serious amount of crying accompanied by a face turning beet red.

Over the weekend he was pretty irritated, the "how could you let them do that to me again," expression was always on his face. A little feverish here and there, but otherwise okay. By the end of the long weekend, he had actually pulled off his own band-aid. Of course he probably pulled it off more since it was something his hand grabbed hold of than because he thought it was the macho thing to do.

One thing of note...this was our first trip to our new doctor. Unfortunately we did not come back as impressed as we probably should have. Though we had been out to see the facility and it came highly recommended by a number of people, the fact that they still use paper records and an old fashioned balance scale (vs. digital so the kid isn't sitting there naked forever) came as a bit of a surprise. In the end, the doctor was very nice and did assuage our latest concerns while the nurse did a good job jabbing Rohan's legs, so all is okay.

regional differences

2005-09-10T17:33:00.000-07:00

Coming across the popvssoda web page recently got me thinking a lot about the regional differences in how we were raised and to a greater extent how we will raise our kids.

I used to call everything "pop" but as i drifted eastward started calling everything soda. I still do now, but to be honest i'm not sure what Rohan will end up calling it. Will he be confused at an early age since i have no idea what to call the fizzy drink? If we continue our nomadic lifestyle, will it help or hinder his development?

video baby monitor...a postscript

2005-08-31T21:37:00.000-07:00

more than a couple months ago, i blogged about our video baby monitor. At the time, I found that we were getting interference from everything (900 mHz phone, wi-fi, neighbors, etc) which made the video aspect of it almost irrelavant.

However, after moving, the monitor has been an outstanding asset. It is a bit spooky looking at the ghost like images taken with the night camera, but helps in knowing how quickly you need to run up the stairs to get to the baby!