NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Organizing Coach Ariane Benefit

Seeking Participants for New Hoarding and Chronic Disorganization Documentary Series on the Discovery Channel

2009-11-07T17:46:04-05:00

I spoke with Cecile, the producer of this new documentary series on Hoarding and Chronic Disorganization today. She is sending me the Pilot episode to review. But in the meantime, I wanted to start getting the word out in case you might like to participate on the show and get free therapy, organizing and clean up services. Here are some additional facts about the show:

1. They start filming in December and January - so act quickly if you are interested.

2. They are recruiting the top doctors, authors and researchers in the field to provide free counseling for participants.

3. They would prefer to have your family members or friends involved in helping you or at least be willing to be interviewed.

4. You don't have to be living in total squalor to qualify. In fact you don't have to be a level 5 hoarder. If you are chronically disorganized, and have lots of clutter, that could qualify you.

5. Be prepared to send a few photos.

6. If you are in Northern or Central New Jersey, and are interested in working with me as your Organizing Coach along with the therapist, and are willing to be on this show, let me know. I'm not promising I'll do the show, but I'm thinking about it. She assured me that they are NOT looking to create any trauma and you don't have to clean out your whole house fast. You can take it slowly and just do one room.

They really want to focus on the treatment, and are not looking for people who on the verge of eviction, etc.

You can contact my voicemail at 973-826-0660. This phone number does not ring in my office, it's messages only, so be prepared to leave your name, number, city and state, and let me know what your level of interest is in being on the show, and when is the best time for me to call you.

If you can, please email me photos. Requests with photos and in ESSEX, BERGEN, PASSAIC, MORRIS, UNION counties in NJ will be given priority. Basically within a half hour or so from Bloomfield / Montclair, NJ.

Thank you!

Ariane

__________________________________________________________________

Discovery Studios, a division of Discovery Communications, Inc., is producing a new series of hour-long documentary style shows about hoarding and extreme cases of chronic disorganization, which will air on TLC. We are currently recruiting people who would like to participate.

If you or someone in your life is chronically disorganized, we welcome the opportunity to speak with you. The goal of the series is to promote better understanding of why people hoard, what steps can be taken to deal with the issue, and how a comprehensive exploration of this common problem can lead to positive change for the people involved.

We understand the very personal and sometimes embarrassing nature of this issue. Our series will treat all program participants with respect and compassion.

For those willing to participate, we will offer assistance with finding licensed therapists as well as professional organizers who can offer support.

If you or someone you know is interested in discussing the project further, please contact:

Email: cecilebou@gmail.com (out of town November 7-16)

Phone: 917-592-5856 (in New York)

Email: burkfinley@gmail.com

Phone: 202-549-1750 (in Washington D.C.)

What is "Prioritizing" anyway? Why is it SO HARD? And What can You do About it?

2009-11-01T13:27:16-05:00

When I read books on time management and prioritizing, I find that many of them focus on Prioritizing defined as reviewing your TO DO list and deciding what is

A - most important and urgent
B - somewhat important but not urgent
C - least important and least urgent

But for many of us, distinguishing what is important among the many things we care about, is made incredibly difficult by the way our brains and emotions work. Emotions and brain chemicals greatly influence what seems important or urgent at any given moment. We can think of something that needs to be done in one moment and be incredibly energized by it. It truly seems in the moment like the most important thing on earth at the time.

So we either forget about everything else and act on that feeling immediately, or we put it on our to do list in hopes of "getting back to it later." Then, if you are at all like me, later comes around, I look at the item on my to do list, remember thinking it was so important, I but I can't for the life of me remember why!

Has this ever happened to you?

Personally, I have NEVER been able to look at a list of Action Items, systematically prioritize it with A's B's and C's and then follow it exactly without getting frustrated. And honestly, I have stopped trying to do that. And you know what?

Everything important gets done anyway.

Why? because there are many ways to prioritize and the ABC system (and the Covey System, David Allen's GTD, and the Julie Morganstern system) are only just a few of them! Furthermore, the ABC system is often NOT the best way for creatives and ADDers.

In fact, it is often one of the worst ways! Why? because.......

Because we often fail at using other people's systems, and then we start thinking we are defective.

And we AREN'T.

We are just different! We need to design and invent our own system that works with the way we think.

Besides, there is a lot more to establishing priorities than just ranking what's on your do list.

Many Prioritizing decisions happen long before things even make it on to your TO DO list. And, to make things even more challenging, prioritizing decisions have to made constantly throughout the day as new possibilities and situations emerge.

Ultimately, every single action we take is the result of a prioritizing decision.

To a person with ADD, or high creativity, making all those decisions can often be utterly exhausting, even excruciatingly painful, and stressful. Try as hard we might to pre-plan our actions and days, they still seem to feel like they are out of our control.

What's your Daily Prioritizing Agony?

For some of us, daily prioritizing agony starts with the choice "what should I wear today?"

Do I prioritize:

looking good?

comfort?

wearing something different every day?

creative accessorizing?

or getting dressed FAST so I can move on to other tasks?

Underlying that might also be the question, should I get up earlier so I have more time to dress and not be late to work? So now, we are having to choose between time for sleeping vs. time for dressing vs. being on time for work.

That is how overwhelm works. We get bogged down in indecision caused by thinking of so many possibilities and then freezing at the thought of making a really tough choice between 2 or more values or things we care about.

Overwhelm is a sign. It tells us that we haven't taken the time to sort out our choices and the values they represent. We haven't made a clear decision about what exactly is most important to us and then, create a system for ourselves to support us in remembering what we decided, and then ACTING on it even when acting on it is uncomfortable.

It's not enough to state a priority...we need to be really clear that it's our TRUE priority, and support it with time and energy. Otherwise, we get stuck in a pattern of having to make the same stressful choices every day, or worse, we give up and stop trying. Taken to the extreme, we can even end up living in total chaos and even squalor.

Prioritizing What to Eat

For others of us, a significant challenge every day is the choice of "What should I eat?"

Do I prioritize

taste?

health?

convenience?

how long it takes to cook or prepare?

how messy it will be to clean up?

how much the food costs?

emotional comfort?

Sometimes we can't have it all. We have to accept that and find a way to deal with the trade-offs we might have to make.

Prioritizing What to Keep

For many of us prioritizing what things to keep or let go of throughout the day is another exhausting prioritizing challenge. Even something as simple as what mail to keep can be stressful. And if we keep it, where to put it?

Here's another example.

Have you ever tried on clothing from your closet, hated the way it looks on you, taken it off and kept it anyway? Have you ever done this more than 5 or even 10 times and still kept it? I sure have.

Many of us keep clothing for years, even though we NEVER wear it and always choose something that looks better on us. Those of us who do things like this, tend to have this pattern with many other things in our lives, too. And not only with things, we do it with our time, energy, and money, too.

We keep doing things even though we don't really enjoy them anymore. Maybe we used to enjoy them, or keep hoping we will grow to enjoy them again, but time passes and we still don't.

Why do we do things like this? What are we really prioritizing?

Do we prioritize our fear of wasting things? or "wasting" money? our fear of disappointing people? fear of making a mistake? fear of regret?

Do we prioritize how we feel when we wear clothing and decide to let it go? or how we will feel if we close off the option of having that clothing, and then keep it so we don't ever to feel the discomfort of making the decision?

Do we prioritize the possibility of how many things we could possibly do with a thing? or how much space we have to sacrifice to keep it? or the memories associated with it? or how it makes us feel when we look at it or touch it? or how it makes us feel during the act of parting with it?

Is it more important to avoid the short term pain of parting with it, or the long term pain of keeping it?

Are we even conscious of the pain that comes from keeping it?

Like the disappointment we experience every time we try on that clothing that doesn't really flatter us and we feel bad about ourselves again? or the frustration that comes up every time we have to move things out of the way to get to the things we really need and it makes us angry yet again?

Or are we only noticing the relief from anxiety and the momentary comfort we get from keeping things we don't need or even like anymore?

As you can see, even the most basic of choices in our lives reflect our TRUE priorities. This is what we will be focusing on this month's Getting Unstuck program.

We'll be coaching participants on their prioritizing challenges, and helping them discover creative, intuitive and ADD - friendly (and "creative personality type - friendly") ways to figure out their true priorities and put them into action! Would you like to join us? We start November 5!

Learn more about "Prioritizing What Really Matters" here

Ariane

Do you get extra stressed during the holidays? Relief is Here!

2009-10-29T13:57:12-04:00

If you tend to get stressed by the holiday season, you are not alone. Those of us with ADD and/ or creative personality types are triply challenged by all the possibilities and decisions of the season. We face temptation at every turn. We want ALL the cute decorations, we want to give gifts to EVERYONE, we want to send cards to EVERYONE and got ALL the parties.

There are so many decisions to be made. So much stress. How do you add all these extras to your life without getting overstressed and overwhelmed?

By staying focused and "Prioritizing what REALLY Matters!" And getting support to do that may be just what you need.

To help you do that, my business partner Ellen Shapiro and I have just implemented a

SPECIAL LIMITED TIME OFFER

For our Nov. and Dec. Group Coaching Programs for WOMEN ONLY on

"Prioritizing What Really Matters"

and

"Staying Centered and Reducing Stress
Through the Holidays"

You get
4 Group Coaching Sessions
+ 2 Repatterning Sessions
+ Lots of Free Downloads
+ Live Online Private Members Only Chat Room

LIMITED TIME OFFER!

MUST REGISTER BY Nov. 4, 8PM EST!

Get Both for ~~$137~~
Just $97

You save $37 and

You get a much more simplified,
peaceful and serene holiday season!

Learn more and Register Here!

PERFECT FOR ADDers and ANY WOMAN
who feels extra stressed by the Holiday Season!

PREFER PRIVATE COACHING?

If you aren't up for a group, you can also contact me about private coaching to get you through the holiday season. As a Holiday bonus, I'll share one of our recordings from the group with you for FREE! You can:

Wishing you a peaceful and harmonious Holiday season,

Clutter-free Holiday Gift Ideas!

2009-10-20T05:31:00-04:00

It's that time of year again! Time to decide who you are going to give what to. As always, I'm on the lookout for clutter free Christmas & Holiday gifts...so here are some of my favorite clutter-free gift ideas...

Popcorn & movie rentals (who would ever let popcorn become clutter??? : )
A digital photo slide presentation on the web or use Powerpoint of a special event / memories you shared with the person.
A free night or weekend of babysitting is always popular with moms.
A gift basket with fruit, nuts and other fresh edibles. If the recipient can't eat it all, they can share it with others!
Plants and flowers are great, if you know their taste, and know they have room for it! Plants that can be planted outside are an excellent choice.
Tickets to movies, concerts, games, etc. are always great...be sure you know their schedule..or give them a gift certificate so they can pick their own event.
One of my favorites - a massage, pedicure or even a day at a spa! Here again, with any personal services, it's always a good idea to find out where they like to go before buying the gift certificate.
How about a weekend at a retreat/spa such as www.newagehealthspa.com This is a place I love to visit to eat healthy, relax & exercise. Plus I always learn something because they give a workshop every evening.
Make a favorite dish and deliver it.
Another humanitarian alternative is to give the gift of charity...organizations like http://www.altgifts.org or to Habitat for Humanity https://www.habitat.org/donation/gfth/
And then of course there is the Buy Nothing Christmas movement which has some interesting ideas. http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/alternatives/index.html They have a free information kit (downloadable) at http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/resources/info-kit.html

Wishing you a happy, healthy & clutter-free holiday season!

p.s. To help our members celebrate a simpler, less stressful holiday season, we've planned some really neat Getting Unstuck monthly programs for women only. We'll be covering

"Prioritizing What Really Matters" in November and

"Staying Centered and Reducing Stress Through the Holidays" in December.

We conduct the calls live on Thursdays, but even if you can't make it live, you will get to download the recordings, and choose from our Free Download Library, read and post in the Community Forums and more. Learn more here

Originally published in Oct. 2006 - Updated Oct. 2009

Hoarders: the TV Show is Casting For Season 2

2009-10-17T17:47:11-04:00

I got this message from someone at A&E...thought I'd pass it along in case you or someone you know may be interested in taking advantage of the help they provide for free. FYI - I'm not "recommending" this, I just wanted to let you know about it because I get asked often how to get on a show like this.

All the best,

Ariane

____________________________________________

Hoarders on A&E is casting its second season of the groundbreaking documentary television series that sheds much needed light on this complicated and underreported condition. Each hour long episode will follow two individuals who suffer from this mental illness thru a crisis situation that is directly caused by their hoarding.

We will provide free services for the hoarder, such as a mental health support, professional organizers, and professional cleanup and/or junk removal services. Each case will be considered on an individual basis, and services will be tailored to fit individual needs. Our professionals like Dr. Tolin all have experience treating this population and are appropriately trained and credentialed.

We are looking for individuals willing to spend 3-5 days sharing their stories on camera.

We understand that compulsive hoarding is an extremely emotional and difficult disorder, and it is our hope that by sharing the personal stories of our guests it will help others realize they are not alone. We will also share the right way for families and friends to approach a hoarder to, hopefully, avoid dangerous living environments.

What we are looking for:

1. Individuals willing to tell their story.

2. Individuals motivated to change by a ticking clock, or crisis caused by hoarding that needs to be addressed immediately.

3. We need to show how the hoarding has impacted friends and/or loved ones.

These individuals will need to appear on camera and share their side of the story.

Whatever your crisis, whatever your story, we are interested in listening.

If you or someone you know is a compulsive hoarder please go to our website to learn more information and to apply:http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/

Living in a House Staged for Sale is NOT FUN! : )

2009-10-04T10:46:48-04:00

If you follow me on Facebook, you already know that our house went up for sale on Friday! The house across the street from us came up for sale a couple weeks ago but it was to expensive for us. Then the price was reduced and we couldn't resist. It's a great house that just needs a bit of renovating to make it work for us. We learned so much renovating the house that we decided it would be a great investment and went for it. So now, we are selling our house. Here is the MLS LISTING with Photos

Naturally, we staged our home (That's our living room in the above photo) to allow prospective buyers to see as much as possible of the house they are getting and give them space to imagine their belongings in the house. Now, I've staged homes for other people before when I was doing in home professional organizing, but I've never had to "live" in a staged home. What a pain!

I do like how it looks, but it's like living in a glass house. We have to keep everything perfect and be ready to show the house all day! Even though we are showing by appt., we want to be as accomodating as possible so that the house sells as quickly as possible and we can live a normal life again.

I find myself wondering if this is what it's like to be neurotically neat. To me it actually makes it difficult to get anything else done. I'm just constantly worried about how everything looks and making sure I pick up after myself and put everything away instantly. It's so NOT my nature to be that way. Here are a few of the inconveniences.

We have a white kitchen...and have detailed it completely...so we really want to keep it clean. That means we are now afraid to cook for fear of splattering or staining something, like the white counters.
We had to put all our appliances off the counters and into cabinets - even the ones we use every day like my Vita-mix blender. So now I forget to make my protein shakes.
We have to keep our lights on and blinds open till 9:00 at night so that people can "drive by" and glimpse into the house. So we avoid our livingr oom and dining room
We can't keep our towels hanging on the hooks in the bathroom. And I keep forgetting where they are!
We have to dry the sinks every time we use them to keep all the faucets shiny and clean and use paper towels to dry our hands so the towels don't get dirty.
We had to turn our den where we relax back into a guest bedroom.

I pray the house sells soon!

If you want to follow my updates as we learn from this experience, and check out more photos of our staged home and of our new home come on over and friend me on Facebook!

All the best,

How to Become a Professional Organizer

2009-09-29T14:10:18-04:00

In the last week, I've gotten 11 emails and 5 phone calls asking me for my advice on how to become a professional organizer and run the business. It seems the industry has hit some kind of tipping point! I wish I could answer all of you personally, but I simply do not have time to do free coaching. If I do it free for one, I would have to do it for all, and that could easily add up to a full day of work with all the calls I get!

So here are my answers for all of you at once : ) And of course, if you would like to book my time for a personal consultation to help you grow your business profitably, you can book business consulting with me here.

How do you get training to become a professional organizer?

First of all, keep in mind that "professional" organizing is NOT just glorified cleaning, nor is it being a "virtual assistant." 50% of the job is knowing how to organize - but not just organize the way YOU would like it organized - you need to be able to partner with your client to create custom systems that work for their needs - not yours. You also should be able to communicate well and transfer the "skills" of organizing and maintaining systems to your clients.

To learn more about the business, I would suggest considering all the following:

Working for a company that hires assistant or entry level organizers.
Join NAPO and check out their training offerings - particularly regarding business training, safety on the job and how to teach others to organize.
Consider also joining NSGCD so that you can learn about how to deal with special need situations such as ADD, Chronic Disorganization, Hoarding, and Mental Health Disorders. Joining this will help you understand what jobs to say no to so you don't get in over your head, and also give you a network of people to refer to who are qualified to deal with more challenging situation.s

In addition to the many organizers offering classes and coaching, here are a few reputable formal training programs that I can recommend:

Beginning Organizers

Ramona Creel (Excellent 12-module, virtual coaching program created by the founder of OnlineOrganizing, provides graduates of the full course with certification -- and covers everything you need to get your Professional Organizing business started, includes lots of documentation, too!)

www.clearsimple.com (Full program with a "certification" and after training support for marketing and building your client base.)

NAPO (Great Beginner courses offered virutally - conference teleclasses also available for sale.)

NSGCD (More advanced training)

A Red Bench (Virtual Teleclasses and Recordings also available)

Advanced Organizer Training

Coach Approach for Organizers (Certification Path as well - I attended this Excellent program which is led by the fabulous Denslow Brown and Cameron Gott. In my opinion, should be required professional development for all serious professional organizers (except of course those who have social work and coaching background already)

Compulsive Hoarding Study - Invitation from Dr. David Tolin

2009-09-23T04:48:00-04:00

If you or someone you know is affected by compulsive hoarding, acquiring and saving, you are invited to participate in a study conducted by Dr. Tolin and his colleagues.

Below is the info...

________________________________________________________

Compulsive Hoarding Study

My colleagues and I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to participate in an exciting new research study on compulsive hoarding. We hope this Internet-based study will help improve our understanding and treatment of compulsive hoarding.

Who can participate?
We would like to invite everyone whose life has been affected by hoarding. If you are a person who suffers from compulsive hoarding, or if you have a family member or friend with a hoarding problem, we would like you to participate. If you are a mental health worker or service worker who regularly comes into contact with people who hoard, we'd also like to invite you to participate.

How long will it take?
The questionnaire will take approximately 60 minutes to complete. Of course, individual times may vary due to differences in speed of reading and writing. Because this is on the internet, you can take a break at any time and come back to it. Just be sure not to close the webpage.

Will my answers be anonymous?
Yes. We won't ask you for your name or any other personally identifying information. Our program won't install cookies or other software on your computer. We won't give out any information about your participation to other parties. Therefore, you can rest assured that your responses will be completely private.

How will my participation help? Right now, scientists and therapists know relatively little about compulsive hoarding. Your participation will go a long way toward helping us understand the scope and impact of this problem. That, in turn, will help us design better research studies and treatments for hoarding.

What will I get in return for my participation?
At the end of the survey, we will invite you to enter a raffle to receive one of 10 autographed copies of the new book Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding (Oxford University Press, 2007). You can also feel good about the fact that you are helping us learn more about hoarding, which in turn will help us develop more effective research and treatment.

How do I participate?
Participating is simple. Just go to www.surveymonkey.com/hoarding and answer the questions on the page.

Can I invite my family or friends to participate too?
Absolutely. Please feel free to forward this letter to anyone who you think might be interested in helping us learn more about hoarding. In addition, if anyone is reading this letter and has not received a copy of our email Hoarding Newsletter, please send an email to adcresearch@harthosp.org so that we can add you to our mailing list.

If you have any questions about this research, please feel free to contact Diana Harrington at 860-545-7039 or dharrington@harthosp.org.

Thank you in advance for your help and we look forward to learning more about your experiences.

Sincerely,

David F. Tolin, Ph.D.
Director, Anxiety Disorders Center
The Institute of Living

NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Organizing Coach Ariane Benefit

Seeking Participants for New Hoarding and Chronic Disorganization Documentary Series on the Discovery Channel

What is "Prioritizing" anyway? Why is it SO HARD? And What can You do About it?

What's your Daily Prioritizing Agony?

Prioritizing What to Eat

Prioritizing What to Keep

Do you get extra stressed during the holidays? Relief is Here!

"Prioritizing What Really Matters"

"Staying Centered and Reducing Stress
Through the Holidays"

LIMITED TIME OFFER!

MUST REGISTER BY Nov. 4, 8PM EST!

Get Both for $137
Just $97

Clutter-free Holiday Gift Ideas!

Hoarders: the TV Show is Casting For Season 2

Living in a House Staged for Sale is NOT FUN! : )

How to Become a Professional Organizer

How do you get training to become a professional organizer?

RELATED POSTS ON THIS BLOG

Compulsive Hoarding Study - Invitation from Dr. David Tolin

NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Organizing Coach Ariane Benefit

Seeking Participants for New Hoarding and Chronic Disorganization Documentary Series on the Discovery Channel

What is "Prioritizing" anyway? Why is it SO HARD? And What can You do About it?

What's your Daily Prioritizing Agony?

Prioritizing What to Eat

Prioritizing What to Keep

Do you get extra stressed during the holidays? Relief is Here!

"Prioritizing What Really Matters"

"Staying Centered and Reducing StressThrough the Holidays"

LIMITED TIME OFFER!

MUST REGISTER BY Nov. 4, 8PM EST! Get Both for $137Just $97

Clutter-free Holiday Gift Ideas!

Hoarders: the TV Show is Casting For Season 2

Living in a House Staged for Sale is NOT FUN! : )

How to Become a Professional Organizer

How do you get training to become a professional organizer?

RELATED POSTS ON THIS BLOG

Compulsive Hoarding Study - Invitation from Dr. David Tolin

"Staying Centered and Reducing Stress
Through the Holidays"

MUST REGISTER BY Nov. 4, 8PM EST!

Get Both for $137
Just $97