Need More Rage

Lower The Curtain. Raise The House Lights.

2012-08-03T11:53:00.002-05:00

About five and a half years ago, I was dabbling with blogging using personas different than my own (for reasons that I don't really remember anymore). On a whim, I tried writing a couple of posts from the point of view of the character I was playing in this video game some friends had introduced me to a couple months earlier. For whatever reason, it just clicked for me, and a collection of pixels suddenly came to life in my head, with his own distinct personality, goals, and mannerisms.

Over the years, much has changed. Other characters in game have taken over much of my playing time; some of these developed into characters in their own right, and some did not. Guilds have come and gone. Other blogs I read have come and gone. Readers of this blog have come and gone. One day a reader sent me a short letter thanking me for cheering her up on days when she felt down and a month later, because she is the most awesomest person in the world, I asked her to marry me. And, because she is also the insanest person in the world, she said yes.

But through it all, Ratshag has stayed Ratshag. Slightly more refined and experienced, perhaps, but still tough, loyal, horny, not all that bright, and marching to the beat of a drummer who is very much his own. And now, after a much much longer time than I ever expected this to last, I am ready to say goodbye to him and find new and different outlets for my creative impulses. So yesterday I sent him off just as he would have wanted: shouting defiance in the face of overwhelming odds, and taking the fluggernubber down with him. Enjoy Valhalla, old friend - you've more than earned it.

Don't really know yet what directions my newly-freed creative juices will flow in, exactly, but I'm hoping to do some longer fiction writing in universes where the story isn't constrained by a video game company's motivation to maximize profit. I'd also like to get back into photography, and maybe even start drawing characters again. We shall see. Hopefully, there will be a lot more activity at my writing site and my tumblr. And if not? I'm okay with that.

I'd like to close by saying that it has been an absolute joy to share this journey with all of you. I wish you all the very best, in whatever form that takes.

Michael

Cataclysm: Madness

2012-08-02T13:59:00.002-05:00

...

...

Well, that bitesss.

But Thrall said he had a new plan, and that was good, becausse he never had a bad idea. Except for, you know, trussting Hellscream. And then putting his son in charge of the Northrend expedition. And then putting him in charge of the entire Horde, ssso he could run off to shaman camp and get laid. Yup. We're all gonna die.

So we all piled on the Alliance sship, which ssomehow flew along just fine despite only having four little thrusstersss keeping it up, and chased after Deathwing. The plan was for Thrall and the asspects to stay on the sship and charge up the Dragon Soul again and drink tea while Rattersss and the rest of us parachuted onto the dragon'ss back and ripped off the elementium plates so Thrall could get a better sshot. Obviously, it wass the plates that were the problem the lassst time and not that, say, Thrall's aim ssucked or that after thousssandss of years the Dragon Soul didn't hold a charge like it used to. Nope, had to be the platess, so we sstrapped on our parachutes. Happy happy joy joy.

Very heroic. Very insspirational. We were totess badassses in that moment, weren't we? Unfortunately, Captains Sswayze and Ka'anu sort of ... well ... misssed, and were never seen again. I suspect that at the last minute they decided that a life of ssurfing and robbing banks together made a lot more sense than, you know, fighting a flying dragon while sstanding on its back. Can't say that I blame them.

The rest of uss made onto Deathwing's back and, well, he wasn't doing too good. Open ssores, rupturing tentaclesss, corrosive ooze - it was a very nasty place to work. We had to keep ssopping our attack to mop up the blood. But we managed to pry several of his platess off just as the clouds broke and we sssaw the Maelstrom opening up below us. "Can we get the hellss out of here now?" I shouted at Ratshag over the howling wind. "Yeah, let's blow this joint," he sshouted back. We struggled back into our chutess, and jumped for one of the rocky outcroppings. Thrall plunked his magic twanger, and

The movie makes it look all dramatic and heroic. What you can't ssee is that Thrall ssshot too soon, and we weren't all clear. Fink was a little slow becausse of the wound she'd taken earlier, and was sstill getting her parachute on when Thrall cut loose. I guessss counting all the way to ten was a little too much to assk of the World's Greatesst Shaman.

But we'd done it. We'd killed the big bad, we'd ssaved the world. We were exhausted, we were bloody, and we were victoriouss. I was a happy little abomination in the eyess of nature. Thrall and the assspects came down to the little rock island where we'd landed to congratulate uss (because apparently lowering a ladder and picking us up inssstead was a bother) and tell us what wonderful heroess we were and all that stuff, when the water below us sstarted to bubble. And sssomething was coming up.

Not fair. Not. Godss. Damned. Fair.

I don't know if you could call what came up out of the ocean that afternoon "Deathwing". It was a huge, bloated thing, heaving and sssurging as the Old Godss tried to cram ten pounds of sshit into a five pound Deathwing bag. All I knew was that there oozess and tentacles and other horrorss all around us, and if we didn't desstroy them they would destroy usss. The air was full of smoke and acid, terrible even for me to experience. I don't know how my teammates, thosse who still had to breathe becausse they weren't walking dead, could even function. But slowly we sstemmed the tide, and began to push our way forward. Deathwing had collapssed against the rocks, his head on the ground, one eye glaring at us. If we could just reach him, jussst finish him off, then the tide of things bursting out of his open woundss might end.

"Pali, look out!" I heard Kinnavieve yell, but it was too late. An enormous tentacle had reared up behind her, and ssmashed her to the ground. Kinna and I ran over too her, and cut the tentacle into a quivering pile of corrupted flesh and sslime. One look, though, and it was clear her neck had been sssnapped instantly. Kinna whispered a few words and gently clossed the dead girl's eyess. Then she stood up, gripped my hand for a ssecond, and we went back to killing thingsss.

But without Palintera's sspecial druid tricks, pulling energy out of the ground to magically heal our burnsss and injuries, we began to falter. Our coordination broke down, and it devolved into everyone fighting for themsselves. I saw Maurice fall before a pack of oozess. When they moved away, all that was left was some ssmoking armor and a few bones. Through the sssmoke, I could dimly see Alayda crawling, pulling her shattered legss behind her. In the end, Ratsshag, Kinnavieve, and I made it to the monster's head, but we were alone.

"Just kill the bluggerfudder," Ratters growled. "I'll keep you clear." He was bleeding from the Sshadow knows how many holes, and hisss green skin was blackened from burnss. I thought he was about to collapsse, but he pulled up something, ssome reserve from deep insside him, and let out a roar, and sstarted swinging at the thingss pressing in on us, driving them back. Kinna and I attacked the dragon's neck, me with my axe and dagger, her with her big-ass ssword, trying to sever it and kill him once and for all before the big guy gave out. But it wass so tough, sso armored, and my armss were so tired. We'd come close, so close, but it wasn't enough, we were going to fail. In my head, I curssed everyone that had sset the path that led me to this place. Kel'thuzad and Arthas, Mograine and the Sscarlet Crusade, the Old Gods, the Titanss who had abandoned us, the assspectss who'd run off who-knows-where, the Warchief and the King who had ssent their armies to fight each other in placess like the Barrens and Tol Barad. I cursed them all to the deepesst hell.

I spared a glance back at Ratshag. He had sstumbled, was down on one knee, holding a burning sshield up to block the blows being rained down by a big rock elemental. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't let him die alone. I was going to die anyway - we all were. At leassst I could go out fighting, not hacking usselesssly against Deathwing's neck. So I ran to his sside. I swung at the elemental with what little sstrength I had left, trying to find the vulnerable bands of energy that held it's sstones together.

And for an instant I distracted it. And in that instant, the orc sstood up. He dropped his ruined shield and axe, and grabbed the elemental with both handss. Somehow, amazingly, he lifted it up over his head. Turning to face Deathwing, he shouted "DROVE YER VOLCANO INTA THE WRONG FLUGGERNUBBIN' HOUSE, DIDN'T YA?!?", and charged.

There was a loud Crack! as he drove the rockss into the Destroyer's skull like a battering ram, and the sskull gave way. Then a Whump! as all the force the Old Gods had sstuffed into him was suddenly releasssed. The force of it knocked me through the air, bony half-rotted ass over teacupss. When I stood up again, it was over. The tentacles and oozess and elementals were dead, dissintegarting, lifeless. Deathwing's headless corpsse was slowly sssliding back down into the ocean. All that remained of his head was the bent and mangled metal jaw the dwarvess had forged for him. That, and a thousand commingled piecess of dragon and orc ssstrewn across the landscape.

I walked over and sat down next to Kinnavieve. Sshe was curled in a ball, her sword abandoned a few feet away, sssobbing wretchedly. "I, I, I, I tried, I, I, oh Mouse...." was all sshe could get out. Awkwardly, I put my arm around her. For the first time in all the years I've known her, she didn't flinch away from me. I guess sshe was too damned exhausted. I know I was. A little ways off, the assspects and Thrall were talking, something about a new world order, and how great it wass that Thrall's girlfriend was knocked up. It didn't make much sense, but neither had anything elsse that day. Madnesss, all madnessss.

At the edge of our rocky island, the Alliance airsship had finally returned and lowered a ladder. As the ssmoke cleared, I could see some movement among the rockss and rotting remains of the thingss. At least a couple of our teammates had sssurvived the fight as well. "C'mon Kinna," I said, pulling myself to my feet and extending her my hand. "Let'ss go find our friends, and go home."

Church Of "Holy Light"? Ya Sure?

2012-08-01T14:22:00.001-05:00

Grundy Macgraff (Dwarf priest)

Father Inigo Montoy (Human priest)

Grand Inquisitor Isillien (Priest, Scarlet Crusade)

The Black Bishop (Background unknown)

Archbishop Benedictus (Supreme human religious leader)

Corruption. Everywhere, at every level. Demons, Lichs, Faceless Ones. The institution been rotten ta the core fer years, and not in a "we's gonna take yer donations and buy our girlfriend a new car" way, but rathers a "we's gonna destroy the world" way. An' you trust these buggers with yer immortal souls?

Pffft. You's crazy fluggernubbers.

Cataclysm: The Siege

2012-07-30T23:02:00.000-05:00

Helllooo.

I am Danger Mouse. I am Forssaken.

We met on the road to Wyrmrest - Ratters and the resst of us Hordies riding in from Venomssspite in the East, Kinnavieve leading the Alliance team from Starss' Rest in the West. We both sstopped, looking at each other. Would this actually work? Sssure, we could all hang out together in neutral cities like Shattrath, drinking beer and ssinging songss, but could we really trust each other out here in the wilderness, armed and nervous? Then Ratters got off his noisy ssmoke-belching machine and walked over to Kinnavieve, who dropped down from her charger. They exchanged some words, too quiet for any of us to hear, then he tilted his head back and laughed that deep, rumbling laugh of hiss. Sshe threw her arms around him, and he hugged her back, lifting her feet right off the ground. They held each other for a few minutes, the rest of us quietly ssstanding, watching, unwilling to intrude. Then he set her back on the ground, they both laughed again, and we all came together, Hordiess and Alliance, smiling laughing and backslapping and hugging.

We were a Team. We had a job to do and nothing was going to sstop us. This crazy plan of Ratterss' was going to work.

It had too.

As we got closer to the tower, we gathered up ssome of the shattered remains of the Accord's outer perimeter, scattered like leavess after the Twilight Hammer's surprissse attack. We could here the battle now - drakes sscreaming as they fell from the sky, the deep crunch of rocks striking the dragons' citadel. We fell into a wedge formation - Ratsshag at the point, with Kinnavieve and Alayda beside him, the rest of us sword and axe types on the wingsss, and the casters protected in the center. The Wyrmresst Accord people did whatever it was losers did behind uss - they were not my concern.

The Twilight asssault was divided into three campss, and we fell upon the southern one - Deathwing's rock elementals - with fire and fury. They had no idea we were coming, and nothing breakss down into chaos and confusion like an army of elementals caught by ssurprise. They shattered before us, breaking and running. The Sshadow drank deep that day as we sslew hundredsss of them. The leader of the elementals, a big fucker named Morchok, tried to rally them, but we were having none of it. We drove our wedge sstraight through the remaining elementalss, and Ratshag's axe removed Morchok's head from his sshoulders.

The two remaining forces, both led by ancient facelesss ones, were prepared for us, but it made no difference. Oozess, tentaclesss, faceless ones, they all fell before our blades. The leaders taunted us, sshouting in their elder tongue that we couldn't understand, but nevertheless ssomehow left doubts whisspering in our heads. We took casualties: Fink suffered a nassty gash to her leg, and Alayda was burned by an ooze that managed to knock her down, but both of them were able to pussh on. In the end, both warlords were dead, and the ssiege was broken. We'd fucking done it.

But it wassn't over. As Thrall and the Aspects were doing whatever it was they needed to do to charge the Dragon Ssoul, Deathwing played one last card to try to ssnatch victory from defeat. Ultraxion, a huge twilight dragon, dove out of the ssky and crashed onto the peak of the tower. "Don't let him reach the Asspects", shouted Kinnavieve. "Kick hisss arse!" added Ratters. He and Maurice got in the big nasty's face, keeping him pisssed and distracted, and the rest of uss surrounded him. His hide was tough as the thickesst armor, but it wasn't enough. Our sswords and axes and lightning bolts found the weak ssspotss, and Ultraxion, possibly the largest dragon ever to fly the skies of Azeroth, came up sshort. "But...but...I am...Ul...trax...ionnnnnn..." he wheezed as he sshuddered, twitched, and slowly sslid of the edge of the parapet to plummet to the frozen ssurface of Dragonblight.

And then the Aspectss stepped back as Thrall held the Dragon Soul over hisss head. It must have been fully charged, for it wass crackling with energy, tiny lightning bolts ssizzling over its ssurface and coursing up Thrall's arms. He aimed it at Deathwing, still circling the tower, and a blasst of white light shot out, straight for the Desstroyer's heart.

Melee Warlock FTW

2012-07-26T07:24:00.000-05:00

Warlocks ain't got time fer that "fair fight" hogwashilization. Hit him in the back of the head with a big wrench while he's busy fightin' Harrison Jones? Works fer Ellspeth.

An' yeah, she copped a feel while he were all dazed an' confuzzled after.

Sometimes Ya Outgrow Yer Childhood Heroes

2012-07-24T07:35:00.001-05:00

An' sometimes ya admires 'em even more. Ya done good, Sally. /salute

At Long Last, Our Kitchen Nightmare Is Over

2012-07-23T11:19:00.001-05:00

Results from the last poll be in, an' the Swedish Chef done trounced Gordon Ramsay, 103 ta 20. Börk Börk Börk!

This week we done continued the food theme, with a showdown between two fast food classics. No, not thems. No, thems neither. Ya wanna know, go check out the poll in the sidebar.

Did They Done Nerf Drop Rates And Just Not Tell Us?

2012-07-22T20:49:00.000-05:00

Because ... umm ... Holy crap.

There be Anzu.

Guess Who Else Gonna Be Walkin' In The Next Expansion

2012-07-21T14:19:00.000-05:00

What with Pali done pickin' up the Phoenix Hatchling a few days ago, is time fer ta leave that glunkerthudder Kael'thas be. Next beeyatch what gonna give it up fer Team Ratshag: Skadi the Clueless.

DIY Raid Attunement Experiences

2012-07-20T13:52:00.001-05:00

Seen a lotta talks on the interwebbies lately about whethers or not Blizz should bring back raid attunements. Argumentings for includes they felt epic, they brings buggers tagether, an' they shows what ya know how fer ta play yer class. Argumentings against includes they actually didn't do none of them things, an' they was as fun an' productive as gettin' yer left foot gnawed off by a 82-year-old demented nun. Now, is clear Blizz ain't bringin'em back, no matters how loud some buggers howl, but we here at Need More Rage wants everybodies ta enjoy they's gamin' experience. So we's done come up with a series of tasks fer ta replicate the epic feel of them experiences. Fer full affect, make everyone in yer guild do them before lettin'em come ta any more raids.

Fer all experiences, pick yerself up a good fantasy novel. Don't matter which one, but one of the better WoW novels might feel thematicallies better. Also, all groups should be assemblified without usin' LFR, an' travels should be done without a flyin' mount.

The Karazhan Attunement Experience:

Read page 1 of yer novel.

Go ta that cave in Southwest Twilight Highlands. Kill everything. Wait fer thems ta re-spawn. Kill them all again.

Read the next page.

Go talk ta Ranger Valanna (Horde) or Scout Jorli (Alliance).

Read three more pages.

Put tagether a group fer ta run Grim Batol. Drop group just before the first boss.

Put tagether a group fer ta run Lost City. Drop group after the first boss.

Put tagether a group fer ta run ZA. Drop group just before Daakara.

Read the next page.

Put tagether a group fer ta run HoR. Kill all the bosses. If'n ya wipe, reset the dungeon an' start over.

Read the next page.

Go to Shattrath.

Is big hairy Congo rats! Yer attuned!

The Black Temple Attunement Experience:

Read page 1 of Chapter 2.

Finish all the quests in Uldum.

Read the next page.

Complete the Cipher of Damnation quest in line in Shadowmoon Valley. Ya, I know is old content. Suck it up, buttercup.

Read the next page.

Run the three Hour of Twilight heroics.

Read the next page.

Assemble a twenty-five man raid. Run the following raids in heroic mode, in order:

Blackwing Descent
Bastion of Twilight
Throne of the Four Fluggernubbin' Winds
Firelands

If'n at any point, someone drops outta the raid, find a replacement an' start over.

Is big hairy Congo rats! Yer attuned!

The Onyxia Attunement Experience (Horde version):

Read page 1 of Chapter 3.

Run ZG. Afters, roll a five-sided die. If'n ya gets a "1", move on. Otherwise, run it again.

Read the next page.

Run Grim Batol. Drop group afters killin' the first boss.

Read the next page.

Max out yer archeology skill.

Read the next page.

Run Grim Batol. Drop group afters killin' the second boss.

Read the next page.

Solo Karazhan, up to Shade of Aran.

Leave Kara, an' travel ta Silithus. Don't use yer flyin' mount.

Read the next page.

Go back ta Kara an finish soloin' it, includin' Chess.

Read the next page.

Solo Onyxia. Mebbe bring one friend.

Read the next page.

Max out archeology on an alt.

Read the next page.

Run Grim Batol. Kill all the bosses.

Is big hairy Congo rats! Yer attuned!

The Onyxia Attunement Experience (Alliance version):

Read page 1 of Chapter 4.

Run Grim Batol. Kill all the bosses.

Read the next page.

Watch a movie in where some giant alien / monster / Republican lobbyist smashes up a city real bad. Like mebbe Transformers.

Is big hairy Congo rats! Yer attuned!

An' there ya go. All the epicness of the originals, withouts all the needin' fer Blizz ta lose they's minds an' bring attunements back. Enjoy!

Is Where Sailors Is Lazy

2012-07-15T14:54:00.001-05:00

Seriouslies? Is Horde warships, Alliance warship, an' a pirate ship all withins shoutin' distance of they's others. But what is they doin'?

Nuthin'. Not a thing. They's just swabbin' they's decks an' swashin' they's buckles, waitin' fer the glubberfubbin' infantry fer ta show up an' do they's dirty work. Lazy gits.

Looks Like The Baron's Gonna Be Walkin' In The Next Expansion

2012-07-13T07:40:00.000-05:00

I Don't Exactlies Get Star-Struckified....

2012-07-12T16:33:00.000-05:00

It just ain't consistent with me characterizations. But the Blog Azeroth Shared Topic this week (put up by Dragonray) be:

Are you starstruck by anyone? Does someone in the community respond to a post or a tweet and get you all speechless because they actually responded? Is there anyone you are waiting to have respond directly to you? Is there someone that you would like to chat to, but are too chicken? Am I the only one who puts other bloggers on a pedestal?

and I felt likes sayin' sumthin'. You buggers has been warned.

Now, four-five years ago, I were workin' me way through the process of growin' from an orcling with a silly pointless blog ta bein' an amazingly virile orc warrior with a silly pointless blog. The WoW blogosphere was the Wild Wild West back then, an' we was all stumblin' around tryin' fer ta figger out what it all meant. Now, like I said, I don't get starstruck 'cause I's bumpernuddin' Ratshag, but along the way was several bloggerbuggers what helped me out with advicifyin' and encouragements, eithers fer adventurin', or bloggin', or both. Is prolly gonna leave out some, 'cause fuhggit I cain't be bothered fer ta remember the details, but here be those what be droppin' outta me brain (in no particular orders):

Tami from The Egolicious Priest
Big Red KittyKat
Kirk What Never Did Get a Nickname, from Priestly Endeavors
Temerity Effin Jane. Up Yours.
Out of Mana Megan
The Mana Battery Bitch
Auzara from ChickGM
Bellwhether from 4Haelz
Leafy from Leafshine: Lust Fer Flower (Don't ask me whathell that means - is a British thing).

Is A Quick Shoutout

2012-07-08T13:21:00.002-05:00

Ta that troll healer in LFR the other day. I'd mention him by name, but you buggers know I cain't be bothered fer ta remember the details. Anywho, just afters I popped inta LFR, Puffin from Team Shianti asked me ta done run her through a dungeon, an' well, she done gets priority, so out I popped. But is always cool fer ta bump inta a reader, if onlies fer about twenty seconds. Hope yer run went good, bro!

No Fluggernubbin Time Fer Jumperlubbin' Sergeants

2012-07-03T16:20:00.000-05:00

You was as decent a bugger as they come, Andy. I'll check in on Mayberry from time ta time fer ya, make sure nobody done gets up ta mischief.

And On The Eighth Day, The Light Spaketh:

2012-06-27T07:39:00.000-05:00

"WHICH AMONG YOU IS BAD TO THE BONE?"

And I sez, "Yeah, that'd be me, chief."

And the Light spaketh: "THIS IS PLEASING UNTO ME. GO FORTH, AND CRUISE THE HIGHWAYS OF AZEROTH. PWN ANY THAT WOULD STAND BEFORE THEE."

Mechano-hogs is gonna be account wide? Hells yeah is time fer ta make me one. Still costs about 15k with a bit of guild bank ninjafyin', but pffft.

And the chance fer ta be irreverent with a deity? That be on the house.

BRB, Gotta Go Save The World: Phoenicia

2012-06-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

Sure, 'at soonds loch a fin time. Will thaur be swally efter?

BRB, Gotta Go Save The World: Kinnavieve

2012-06-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

My Dearest David,

Light willing, everything will be over tomorrow. It has been a year since I left home to fight the Twilight's Hammer. I went to protect you and little Bolvar. I went to defend our kingdom. I went to stop those who wanted to destroy our world. There were all noble, honorable reasons to go to war, and you and I both pretended that that was all. But there was another reason, the one neither of us could bear to mention at the time.

My face is still as burned and ravaged as it was the morning I tried to face Deathwing at the city gates. My right ear is still gone, my nose is still a flattened, shapeless lump, my mouth is still twisted into a grimace. It is a horror to look at, there is no denying. I cannot blame you for flinching when you looked at me - I am sure I would have too. But I realize now that it was wrong of me not to give you time, time to adjust. I should have had more faith in you and in your love for me. But I was weak, afraid that you would always be disgusted, and ashamed that you were disgusted. And so I ran away. I may have fought Nefarian and Cho'gall and Ragnaros in their inner sanctums, but I was still running away.

But I'm done with that now. I will be coming home soon, and I will beg your forgiveness for not trusting in you. I promise you that I will give you all I have, do all I can to rebuild our life together. And I will be as strong as you need me to be, no matter what. I am your Kinnavieve, and I will love you with all my heart, and I will give you however long you need, and help you learn not to be ashamed.

All my love,
Kinna

ps Please kiss Bolvar for me, and tell him his mother loves him. And that she'll be coming home soon.

Well, that's it. I've sent it. Either we'll win tomorrow, or we won't. If we don't, I guess nothing I said will matter. And if he won't take me back, then at least it will only be my world that ends.

(Editor's note: This post done makes references ta stuff what happened way back here an' here.)

Wax On, Wax Off

2012-06-20T09:06:00.001-05:00

Well, no dimunitive but surprisinglies wise and vorpal asian man done jumped in fer ta save him this time. The Karate Kid done got carried off ta a fate worse than death by the Creature from the Black Lagoon, 64 ta 28.

This week we done has a showdown between the two bad boys of the kitchen. Poll be over in the sidebar, as usualls.

BRB, Gotta Go Save The World: Palintera

2012-06-19T14:38:00.001-05:00

Hello, 'licious. How are you today? The priests tell me you got up and went for a walk in the sun yesterday, and chased the butterflies. Would you like to do that again? With me? Maybe? ....'licious?

No? Just in a sit on the bed and stare into space mood today, huh? That's okay. I would have liked to chase butterflies with you, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I understand.

Um, I gotta tell you something. You know that dragon that caused those all those earthquakes and tsunamis a while back that killed a lot of people, including almost us? The one that did ... this ... to you? Well, the other dragons, the ones who aren't all crazy and evil, they think he's about ready to do ... something ... that will finish the job. Destroy everything. They think they can stop him, use this ancient weapon to kill him, but they need help. Ratters is there, at Wyrmrest, and, well, oh goddess you'd laugh if you could hear me, he wants me there too. Well, he wants everybody on the team, and, I mean, it makes sense that he'd want veterans like Kinnavieve and Phoenicia, but he wants me too. That's bad, isn't it? That's real bad that he's asking for me...

I gotta tell you, 'licious, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I mean, I've been fighting things for years now, and I've gotten pretty good at it, but I've never done anything like this. But I'm going to go, because they need help and it looks like there's no one else. And if Deathwing destroys the world, then he'd ... he'd destroy you, and I can't let that happen. We've come too far for me to let that happen.

I've left some gold with the high priestess, just in case I, well, you know, just in case. You wouldn't believe what people will pay for those herbs that grow off the shores of Tol Barad, and ain't nobody can farm underwater like your girl Pali can. So, no matter what happens, you'll be taken care of.

I... I gotta go now. It's time. You be good, okay? Do what these nice priests tell you to, and keep trying to find your way home, all right? I miss you. I really miss you. I wish you could come with me.

Feralicious?

'licious?

Sweetheart?

Can you hear me? Can you, maybe, give me a sign? Anything?

...

...

...

All right, Deathwing. Let's do this. I owe you pain, fucker.

Is High Tide At The Darkmoon Faire

2012-06-14T22:29:00.001-05:00

Is it just me, or is the water done gettin' higher? Anybody got a stick we can use as a marker? Wherefuhg be Christopher Robbin when ya needs him?

BRB, Gotta Go Save The World

2012-06-11T12:48:00.002-05:00

Any you buggers remember a big-arsed glubbernudder name of Archimonde? Him an' his crew done partied the everlivin' crap outta Old Dalaran, then headed up Hyjal way. What happened to him? The orc an' human warchiefs, Thrall an' Jaina, along with Cairne an' Tyrande took they's forces, along with a buncha Vol'jin's lads, grouped up, an' knocked his punk arse down. Was the free peoples of Azeroth, an' they's leaders, against the demons an' undeads. An' they fuhggin' saved the world.

What we got now? Coupla dingleberries, Garrosh an' Varian, what be more interested in wavin' they's tallywhackers in each others' faces than they is in fightin' the real big bad. Commitin' they's best troops ta fight over a abandonized prison complex? Blowin' the mission fer ta send yer fighters ta chase after dwarves like a dog what sees a squirrel? Gimme a fuhggin' break. Meanwhiles, Deathwing sacks Stormwind, his minions burn Org, Azeroth dang near falls inta Deepholm, the big guy cruises the world toastin' anythin' what he catches in the open. I tried tellin' Garrosh he was worryin' 'bout the wrong dupperthunkers, an' he should be focusin' on how fer ta stop that dragon, but he weren't interested. 'Course, I mebbe could been a little more diplomatic, 'stead of tellin' him ta get them kodo droppins outta his skull or haul his cowardly hick arse back ta Nagrand, but I weren't feelin' none too charitables after watchin' the Earthen Ring's best and bravest buy the farm so's me and Thrall could deliver the Dragon Soul ta Wyrmrest. Kinnavieve done talked ta King Doofus, but she didn't have no more lucks with him neither.

Well, fuhg'em.

I done spent the past five years not onlies sharpifyin' me skills, but buildin' up a team of misfits an' loose cannons what know how ta fight. We ain't pretty, we ain't famous, we ain't the sort ya bring home ta mother. Unless mom works in some stinkhole in Booty Bay, servin' Uncle Bonechomper's Day-Old Piss ta retired pirates an' washed-out Shattrath cops, then ya mebbe ya does. But I digressifies. Me point is, we know what ta do when there be a dragon what needs killin'. Ya don't go struttin' aroun' town in yer Abercrombie & Mammoth outfit, talkin' 'bout how yer a bigger badarse than that dude in that other place. No, ya go kill the dragon. Or die tryin'. 'Cause someone's gotta.

As me man Hans Gruber woulda said, "Due ta the Twilight Hammer's Legacy of doin' the nasty with elder gods, tryin' fer ta destroy the world, an' drivin' volcanoes through the houses of amazinly virile orcs, they's about ta be taught a lesson in the real use of rage. You buggers will be witnesses."

Is Friday Night Drunken Gamifyin'

2012-06-01T18:59:00.003-05:00

Ratshag: What be the name of thish game?
Kinnavieve: Thumper!
Ratshag: Whyfuhg we playin'?
Maurice: To get drunk? ...hic!
Ratshag: I sezh, whyfuhg we playin'?
Danger Mouse: To get really fucked up!
Ratshag: Who playsh this here game?
Palintera: Thumperbuggers! ...hic!

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/gesture /gesture /gesture /gesture Crap! /drink

Yeah Is Past Time Fer A New Poll

2012-05-31T09:55:00.001-05:00

So, last time we done did this, Superman showed what he also be the Man of Biphase Carbide, handily whuppin' the Ogre Mark V 68 ta 27. Now we got a new poll up, dredged up from the murky depths of that gray lumpy thing what I calls me brain. It be over on the sidebar, as per usuals.

Ha Ha! Joke's On You!

2012-05-23T21:14:00.002-05:00

Good goin', Mister Core Hound. If'n you weren't so dumbs, you'd done realize what this here be the silliest debuff fer ta throw at ol' Ratters. Reducifyin' by half of not too fuhggin' much means hardlies nuthin' at all. So there!