Wanted to share a quick, slightly embarrassing thing:

A couple months back, for the first time ever, I went into the
studio to record audiobook versions of The Game and Emergency.

I hadn’t re-read either book since writing them, and, well, the
rest is explained in this blooper from the sessions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWVYHDj_aEo

Anyway, enjoy. And a heads-up: For some reasons, HarperCollins only
printed 2000 copies of each Book on CD. So if you feel like driving
for twelve hours with my voice in your ear—which would be
considered cruel and unusual punishment to some people, namely
my brother—definitely get them ASAP.

And to disambiguate, make sure you don’t get the really weird
British audiobook of The Game. (It has a different cover and an
actor reading in a fake Brooklyn accent.) The correct links are
here:

http://www.amazon.com/Emergency-This-Book-Will-Save/dp/0061995312

http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0061995320

Hope you’re all staying focused.

Best,
Neil

P.S. To everyone who sent copies of the Rules of the Game plus the
Routines Collection to get signed, your books have all been
returned–except for the book sent by Jonathan Mad_______. You
didn’t include your return address, man. So email it and I’ll get
your book back to you.

P.P.S. In other news, there seems to be a lot of activity going
on for the people in the above volumes. Mystery has a new book
out, called The Pickup Artist. And the bad-ass urban survival
guys from Emergency were just featured in the History Channel
show After Armageddon, which you can find for free on Youtube.

P.P.P.S. Lots of new stuff to share this year, so stay tuned…

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Happy New Year!
Today, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before, by popular
demand: update a previous email.

Yes, I’m trying to finish the next book, which is due this month.
(And, yes, you will all be the first to know what it’s about!) But
I’m taking a break today to share this because I think it’s important.

New Year’s Resolutions are a great way to set your intent for a
positive, fulfilling year of growth and accomplishment. But, on the
other hand, when the year ends, if you haven’t completely fulfilled
your resolutions, it can be frustrating. This usually happens
because New Year’s resolutions are often too vague, and don’t
include practical steps that lead to a clearly defined goal.

So today, by all means, make your usual big-picture resolutions.

But, in addition, I’m going to suggest you make some
sub-resolutions.

Each of these sub-resolutions is designed to give you a long-term
benefit (some of them even for a lifetime) with a minimum amount of
time and effort.

In fact, each of these sub-resolutions can be completed in anything
from a few minutes to, at the very most, a few hours. And they’re
all either free or very cheap.

For most of you, many of these items fall into the category of
things you’ve “been meaning to do.” Since chances are that you’ve
already accomplished at least a few of the items on the list below,
there’s no reason why you can’t take half a day this week and get
at least six more of the items below done.

So, in the interest of the betterment of your future, the
management of your life, and the fresh start of a new year,
here are:

——————————————————–
SIXTEEN THINGS YOU CAN DO IN ONE DAY TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
——————————————————–

1. Register your full name as a web domain if you haven’t yet.
You never know when you’re going to want your personal website.
If www.[yourname].com is already taken, don’t worry - there are
alternatives.
For example, who owns jamesjoyce.com? Answer: A bar in Dublin beat
the author’s estate to it. But there are always other options, like
hyphenating the name and getting james-joyce.net or james-joyce.org

(check those sites now if you’d like), or choosing less common
TLDs (or end letters) like .ws or .me. For more information,
godaddy.com and networksolutions.com are among the most popular
sites to register domain names.

2. Call your cell phone provider. Ask if you can get a better
calling plan based on your usage. This way you can afford to do the
next item on this list.

3. Subscribe to a newspaper or magazine. Choose a topic that you
don’t know about - be it politics, fashion, culture, or technology
- and sign up for the best periodical covering that topic. Rather

than choosing the most popular magazine, select one that offers
the most in-depth and interesting coverage, like Wired for
technology or Foreign Affairs for politics or Mental Floss for
culture. Yes, you could read it all online, but it’s great to have
a physical magazine to read when you’re on the subway or on an
airplane or waiting in line somewhere.

4. Get a passport if you don’t have one. If yours has expired, get
it renewed now. You never know when that great travel opportunity
is going to occur, and you don’t want to get stuck at home while
your friends are at some great concert at the Acropolis in Greece.
If you’re in America, you can simply go to most post offices with
two acceptable photos of yourself, proof of U.S. citizenship, and a
valid form of photo identification. You can find more information
here: http://travel.state.gov/passport. And, for those of you
who’ve read Emergency and qualify for a passport to a second
country (if, for example, you have a parent or grandparent who was
born in Ireland), take advantage of that opportunity now, before
the rules change.

5. Back it up. Most people don’t take the time to do this,
and regret it later. So copy your entire hard drive onto an
external drive immediately; if possible, download a program like
Acronis True Image that will simplify the restoring process and
regularly make backups (or for Mac owners, start using Time
Machine or SuperDuper). Also backup your cellphone, PDA, and
any other personal-information-storing device.

6. While you’re at it, make photocopies of your credit
cards, passport, drivers license, social security card, birth
certificate, and other important papers. If you keep a journal or
anything similarly irreplaceable, photocopy that. Keep these in a
safe deposit box, parent’s house, locked file cabinet, or any other
secure location, preferably outside your own house. They’ll be
invaluable in the event of theft, loss, fire, or any other
unplanned incident.

7. Look through your refrigerator and cabinets. Read the labels on
the food. Stop buying anything high in saturated fats, trans fats,
cholesterol, and sodium. And start shopping healthier today. Here’s
a handy free e-book from the government on how to eat healthy:
http://www.health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2005/document/pdf/DGA2005.pdf

8. Get business cards. Don’t have a business? It doesn’t matter.
Sites like vistaprint.com will send you 250 free ones (though
there’s a shipping fee of under $6). Never hurts to look
professional. And if you know the number close from Rules
of the Game, these will come in particularly handy.

9. Sign up for US Airway’s E-Saver, Southwest’s Ding, or any other
airline program that offers last-minute, low-cost travel options so
you can take quick weekend getaways whenever you feel like it.
Flights can be as low as $15.

10. Check your credit report for identity theft, or any other
misinformation or errors that could harm your financial status and
options. You are entitled to one free check a year at
www.annualcreditreport.com.

11. Learn how you work: I’m often asked at signings what books I
found the most useful for learning The Game. Here are the ones
I’ve recommended:

Mastering Your Hidden Self by Serge “Kahili” King; The Art of
Seduction by Robert Greene; Introducing NLP by Joseph O’Connor and
John Seymour; and a book on evolutionary psychology, such as The
Red Queen, Sperm Wars, or The Selfish Gene.

12. Make an appointment to get a physical checkup. Head off any
potential medical problems that may hinder an active, fun year.
Also recommended: make an appointment with a dentist to get your
teeth cleaned if you haven’t done so in the last six months. You
may also want to call for an eye exam if you haven’t had one in the
last five years.

13. This is not for everyone, but some of you–and you know who you
are–definitely need to do this: Throw out all your socks. Every
last one. Now go buy new pairs that actually match and don’t have
holes in them. You’ll feel like a new man. Remember, get black
socks. White socks are for athletic activities only. I don’t want
to catch any of you guys here wearing white socks in the bars or
clubs!

14. Get prepped: You’ve read Emergency by now, so go sign up for
a local CERT class (or an equivalent if you live outside the U.S.).
It’s free and will teach you the basics of survival and disaster
preparedness so you can be a local hero. Plus you’ll get a nifty
green uniform like in this photo: http://www.citizencorps.gov/cert/
While you’re there, enter your zip code in the box to find CERT
classes in your area.

15. Buy a suit. (Or a dress if you’re a woman.) But don’t just get
any suit or dress. Get one that’s slightly closer to the size you
want to be this year, whether it be a little bigger or a little
smaller than your current measurements. Try it on every Saturday
morning as a reminder to yourself to get in shape this year;
until, one day, it fits perfectly, and you wear it out and feel
like a million dollars.

16. Then decide to actually become a millionaire. You can find out
how much money you’ll need to save here:
http://partners.leadfusion.com/tools/kiplinger/savings01/tool.fcs

And, afterward, it’s always good to find out what you’re worth:
http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/networth/networth.html

Alright, get cracking.

And have a great 2010.

Talk to you all soon.

Best,
Neil
P.S. Hope you had fun last night.
P.P.S. None of the above constitutes an endorsement of any of the websites mentioned or the content therein. They are provided solely as possible starting points to make the implementation of these subresolutions easier.
P.P.P.S. I resolve to give you even more P.S.’s in 2010.

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One of the most common questions I’ve
gotten about the book came out is, “Will
you go for coffee with me if I promise
not to ask you too much about pickup?”

The second most common question is,
“What the fuck is a C-shaped smile?”

They’re referring to a routine I came up
with, which Papa used to help land Paris
Hilton’s phone number in The Game.

The shape refers not to the lips or mouth
but to the teeth.

A C-shaped smile is one in which someone’s
row of upper teeth are shaped like a C.
It’s a wide smile, with many teeth showing
in the front.

This is the classic smile you see on the
cover of People magazine. It’s said to be
perceived as a friendlier, warmer smile.

Britney Spears has one:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/smiles/britney.jpg

Now a U-shaped smile is one in which just
two or three teeth are seen in the front,
then the teeth run straight back. It’s
somewhat reminiscent of a horse’s mouth.

It’s said to be perceived as unfriendly.

No offense to anyone who has a U-shaped smile,
because I think the theory is horseshit and
say so when I present it.

However, many celebrities it turns out have
had their teeth actually reshaped surgically
to a C. One of them I even wrote a book with.

Christina Aguilera didn’t have that surgery.
She has classic U-Shaped Smile where the teeth
show mostly along the sides of the mouth rather
than in the front (She also has a better voice
than Britney Spears, so there is some consolation):

http://www.neilstrauss.com/smiles/christina.jpg

Finally, here, in its entirety, is the C’s
versus U’s routine. It’s a true story about
one of the women I dated during my pick up
days. The relationship lasted a week. You’ll
see why below.

Use at your own risk to spice up a conversation
that’s going stale:

Style: Smile again for me.

Woman: Um, okay.

Style (to wing): See, she’s a U.

Woman: (look of puzzlement)

Style: I dated a girl who wanted to be a
pop star. And she had a theory that people
with U-shaped smiles were perceived as
unfriendly.  And people with C-shaped smiles
were perceived as friendly.

Woman: So what’s a U then?

Style: A U is when your teeth go straight
back in your mouth and only a few teeth show
in front. A C is when there’s a big row of
pearly whites in the front.

Woman: Um, okay.

Style: I know. I don’t really believe it,
but to my ex, it was more than a theory. She
actually got her teeth surgically reshaped
from a U to a C. She had to get her jaw broken
in three places. Can you believe it?

Woman: Ewwww. That’s crazy.

Style: And she had me go look at pictures
of like Christina Aguilera, who is a U, and
Britney Spears, who is a C. And she said that’s
why Christina is always seen as the bad girl
while Britney’s usually seen as the good one.
Look at the cover of “US” or any magazine,
and you’ll see that it’s always a C smile
on the cover.

(Note: In light of current events, you may
want to change the Britney Spears example
of a friendly C to Jessica Simpson.)

From here, you two can inspect the teeth of
her friends or of random strangers looking
for the perfect C or U.

If you want to drag it out, here’s a little
joke courtesy of a PUA from The Game named
Nightlight9.

Nightlight9: She was from LA, and you have to
be careful with them. Whenever you go out with
girls in LA, everything can be really fake.
Fake hair (point to your head), fake eyes
(point to eyes), fake nose (point to nose), fake
teeth (point to teeth), fake breasts (cup your
breasts). You have to take them to the doctor
first to find out which parts are real. They
put them through a machine, and you get a long
print-out at the end. Then you can decide whether
you want to date them or not.

Lisa still hasn’t forgiven me for saying she had
a U-shaped smile.  :-)

Anyway, use and enjoy. And if you’re a woman
reading this, of course it would never work
on you.

Yours,

Neil

8491 Sunset Blvd #348
West Hollywood, CA 90069

To unsubscribe or change subscriber options visit:
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The top eleven list is just below.

But, first, to wrap things up from the last email, yes, as
predicted, things got a little crazy.

Your paperback copies of the new version of Rules of the Game have
been arriving fast and furious, and the guy at the PO Box is very
upset with me. But thank you: for the amazing notes almost every
one of you included with your books. I tried, when possible, to
address something in your note in the inscription.

So in response to your notes, I wanted to send you a quick note to
share something I wrote recently, when I was asked to put together
a list of ten lessons I’ve learned while studying and teaching
the game.

I think the following may be useful to many of you doing the
Stylelife Challenge or otherwise learning this stuff, and may cut
down some of your learning time. For those of you who’ve only read
Emergency, this may be a little less useful. Though it is most
certainly a survival skill.

Some of these ideas we’ve discussed before. Some we haven’t. So
here they are, plus one extra lesson I just added just now.

ELEVEN PICK UP EPIPHANIES

1. What you look like doesn’t matter. But how you present yourself
does.

2. Nobody is judging you. They’re too busy worrying about what you
think of them. So instead of seeking her approval, give her yours.
Then take it away. Then give it to her again. This is called
flirting.

3. Women do actually like nice guys. They just don’t like weak
guys. So you can still be nice. But you must also be confident–in
yourself, your opinions, and your worthiness and value in the
world. In order for a woman to be with you, she needs to feel safe
with you.

4. It’s not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self.

5. There’s a thin but important line between being horny and being
sexual. A horny man hits on a woman before she’s attracted to him.
A sexual man waits until she’s attracted to him.

6. Just because you’re interacting doesn’t mean you’re attracting.
Learn to recognize the difference between politeness and interest.

7. To win the heart of a woman, you often have to be willing to
risk losing her.

8. When a girl who you went on a date with in the past and who
suddenly disappeared on you calls out of the blue, it generally
means one thing - so call back right away before she finds someone
else to be with that night.

9. Always call a woman the day after sleeping with her and make her
feel good about having let go with you–even if you don’t want to
see her again or she doesn’t want to see you again. Don’t ruin her
for other guys.

10. Don’t look to your friends or family for approval as you learn
the game. They may like you just the way you are, but not always
for the right reasons. With some “friends,” this is because when
you start looking better, feeling more confident, and succeeding
more than they do, you often end up reminding them of their own
inadequacies and lack of growth.

11. Finally, to quote the wisdom of Canadian hockey player Wayne
Gretzky, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” So
simply by approaching a woman and saying something, no matter how
badly you may bumble, you’ve dramatically increased your odds of
being with her.

Hope this is helpful to some of you.

Talk Soon,
Neil

PS On an unrelated note, someone recently sent me a link to a
series of experiments that provide further evidence of the concept
of social proof we often discuss:

Evidently, a team of scientists exposed female mice to odors of
either a male mouse alone or a male mouse with a female. And the
females consistently preferred the scent of males linked to other
females. “Our data suggest that female mice may use, or even copy,
the interests of other females based on olfactory cues,” said one
of the scientists. “It could also be seen as a female trusting the
mate choice of another female.”

So, obviously, the message is, rub a female mouse on you before
going out. It’ll work. Science has proven it.

P.P.S. For those of you who now have the Routines Collection, let
me know your favorites and which are working best for you! Especially
regarding the more advanced, late-game ones I haven’t shared before.
I always appreciate hearing any tweaks and modifications you guys
come up with…

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I want to share with you one of the biggest lessons I
learned in the last month.

It’s something I’ve been trying to figure out since
I first started teaching workshops, and noticing
that some people excelled while others got nowhere
– even though they were both putting in the same
amount of work.

There was a piece missing that no one was teaching.
Here’s how I found it:

A PUA I’d met on my last book tour did a massive
favor for me. He’s a sweet, good-hearted guy who
has been in the community for years, knows every
routine (even listens to them over and over on his
iPod), goes out sarging nearly every night, and yet
is still a virgin.

So in exchange for all the heroic work he’d done, I
flew him to Los Angeles for a weekend to examine
his game and find his Achille’s Heel.

I eventually found it, and it turned out to be such
an epiphany that I made it one of the assignments
at the Stylelife Academy (http://www.stylelife.com).

************
Here is the key distinction:

The guy who fails at the game is the one who
goes out looking for women to make him
feel good about himself.

The guy who succeeds at the game is the one
who goes out and makes other people feel good
about themselves.
************

This first type of guy, no one wants to be around.
He is needy. He is insecure. He is reaction-seeking.
He will suck your energy dry in his selfish quest for
your validation and approval.

This second type of guy is easy to be with. He radiates
charisma and positive energy. You enjoy his company,
as do your friends, and you want him around all the
time. You trust him, feel comfortable with him, end
up at his house at 5 a.m. wondering where all that
time went.

Both guys do and say the exact same things but get
a very different reaction from women because of the
intent they are communicating.

WAIT a minute, you may say: What about negs? Their
use seems to contradict this idea of making people feel
good about themselves.

Think again.

When you give a woman who’s often hit on a generic
compliment, she will usually either ignore the remark
or assume you’re saying it because you want to sleep
with her.

When you tease her and show her that you’re
unaffected by her beauty and demonstrate that you’re
out of her league - and THEN let her work to win
you over and ultimately REWARD her with your
approval, she will leave that night feeling good about
herself. Like something special happened and she
connected with somebody who appreciates her for
who she REALLY is.

In short, a neg will buy you the credibility you need
to sincerely compliment her later.

That said, I don’t necessarily advocate negs; they
are in many ways a temporary patch to stick onto
your personality while you learn to possess real
confidence and strength of character.

So, to drive this all home, here’s an assignment
I gave the guys in the Stylelife Challenge: Your
mission this week is to make five people feel better
about themselves - with no thought as to how you
come across in the process.

This can include anything from telling a parent
how much you appreciate them; to making an awkward
guest at a party feel wanted and included; to telling
a person who just blew a lot of money on a car/outfit/
haircut how cool it looks; to giving a homeless person
eye contact, smiling, and handing them five dollars.
Start developing an instinct for what someone needs
to feel good about themselves and their choices, and
stop worrying about what they think of you.

Pretty soon, it’ll become a habit, and you’ll be a social
magnet forced to sign up for Half Your Dating seminars
to stop your cell phone from ringing all the time.

In Your Corner,
Style

P.S. Did I mention how charismatic you look today? And I love
that thing you did just now. Keep it up!

P.P.S. After spending the weekend in L.A. and discussing
the ideas above, the PUA with the former Achille’s Heel sent
me the following email: “The other night, it was my 26th
birthday. I was chatting up a four-set using the positive
ideas we’d discussed, and one of them started groping me.
Next thing you know, hardcore tonguedown makeout.
First time ever - yay!”

P.P.P.S. The Stylelife Academy can be found at:

http://www.stylelife.com

P.P.P.P.S. Yes, it was this email that inspired Day 16 of the
Stylelife Challenge book in Rules Of The Game.

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There’s a lot going on, so I wanted to send a quick letter with
some notes and updates.

UPDATE 1: GAMELINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS?

Some of you who’ve been to certain Barnes and Noble stores recently
have written in to report a strange experience: The Game is nowhere
to be found on the shelves. Instead, it is now kept behind the
counter.

Evidently, it turns out that The Game is one of the two most stolen
books in those stores.

So I called a Barnes and Nobles in Los Angeles to ask what their
other most stolen book is.

Turns out it’s the Bible.

This came as somewhat of a surprise.

Don’t you think when someone steals the Bible, then gets to the
part where it says, “Thou shalt not steal,” they feel pretty
stupid?

UPDATE 2: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

Remember, in EMERGENCY, the shady lawyer who was arranging for
me to get a citizenship to the island paradise of St. Kitts?

Well it turns out, on returning to St. Kitts, I was told by locals
that a huge sum of money that he was holding in escrow for people
who wanted to purchase land for citizenships “mysteriously
disappeared.”

And, as it stands now, those people who plunked down their
hard-earned cash–or who took out a loan–to make it happen are
shit out of luck.

That easily could have been me, and definitely would have led to a
very different experience.

So when it comes to making a decision about someone or something
you’re unsure about–whether it’s a financial, survival, or romantic
decision–gather all the necessary information, then stop before
making a decision. Step out of the situation for a moment. Go
somewhere quiet, even if it’s just the bathroom. And ask your self,
Yes or No? And if you don’t think, but just allow yourself to pick
up on the feeling you get immediately in response, you’ll know your
answer.

The goal is to avoid impulsive behavior, do as much research as you
can, consider the knowledge you’ve accumulated though similar
experiences in the past, and then STOP. Clear your mind. And let
the intuition you’ve developed inform you rather than caving in
to the confusion and anxiety and social pressure that can lead
to the wrong decision in the heat of the moment.

Most of what you’re looking for…you already know.

UPDATE 3: SURVIVALISTS PHONE HOME

Every day, I am thankful that I went through the experience I did
in Emergency.

For example, during the recent rains here, there was an 18-hour
blackout in my neighborhood. My friends and I went to the garage
and pulled out the generator and flashlights and kerosene lamps.

But there was one other thing that was extremely useful that most
people don’t think of: so if you want to prepare for the worst, in
addition to a battery-powered radio, include a CORDED PHONE in
your survival stockpile. Because when the power goes out, for
whatever reason, you’ll notice that your cordless phones at home
won’t work. And if the local cell tower is down too, as it was
here, you’ll be unable to reach most of your friends and relatives.

On another note, I  want to thank Nighthawk, one of the Stylelife
boys and also a Navy corpsman, who came by my place the other
weekend to teach a course in ditch medicine. We did amazing things,
and even learned how to use a tampon on a bullet entry wound in
the field. (Says Nighthawk: It’s sterile, is made to absorb blood,
and has a string for easy removal).

UPDATE 4: THE NEW BOOK WITHIN A BOOK

I may regret making this offer, so I will confirm it in the next
email.

But, as some of you know, the leathery-looking Rules of the Game
two-book box set was only a temporary collector’s item.

Next week, on October 27, the single-volume paperback of Rules of
the Game goes on sale. And it’s no longer a two-book set: Now it’s
a THREE book set. Yeah, I spent the summer writing a third book for
it, just to make it totally essential.

I’ll tell you all about it in the next email, but it basically
picks up where the Stylelife Challenge left off. Where the
Challenge takes guys up to the phone number and the date, this new
third book takes it from there, with step-by-step, word-by-word,
extensively field-tested instructions to follow all the way to
kissing, the bedroom, and, if it’s your sort of thing, threesomes.

I wanted it to be complete. (And speaking of complete,
congratulations to my brother for winning the game and getting
engaged last week.)

Anyway, because I’ve done a lot of talking on this subject, and am
waist-deep in a brand new project, I’m not going to do a press tour
or a book tour this time around.

So here’s what I’m thinking: If you want your copy of the new Rules
paperback personalized and signed, I may invite you to mail it to
me (with a self-addressed, stamped return envelope of course) so
you don’t have to wait until the next book tour.

Not sure on this yet. Need to check with the man at my post office
box, to make sure he doesn’t flip out. We’re already in his bad
books, thanks to some of your totally cool and completely
unpredictable care packages. Not to mention all the crazy shit
I ordered for Emergency.

Thanks,
Neil

P.S. No PS’s today. Not counting this one.

P.P.S. Actually…have a great Halloween. Send me
any pictures of awesome costume ideas you come up with.

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As you all know, I only email you when I have something to say,
whether it’s about the topics in the game, emergency, writing, life
advice, or culture in general.

But today is an exception: Because someone else has something to
say. Every now and then, I get a letter in my inbox that I feel
compelled to share.

And, for readers of The Game, I feel I must share this. (On a side
note, thanks for the comments on the Stephen Colbert story in
Rolling Stone. Cool that so many of you saw it. Note that the
online version is NOT the same version that was in the magazine:
it’s just the outtakes.)

Anyway, as you may recall, we started a Book Club on this list a while
back.  It’s temporarily been on hiatus while I created book three
for the paperback reissue of Rules of the Game. And idle hands, it
seems, are the devil’s playthings.

So our fearless book club moderator, Josh Mills, decided to review
the Dr. Seuss children’s book One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish
as if it were a seduction manual.

And, on reading his analysis, he just may be onto something, even
if his analysis is a little crude at times. (So do not read if
you’re sensitive to men being…men.)

This is what the book looks like if you’re not a Dr. Seuss fan
(which you should be because he’s a genius and one of his books
was in the top ten most influential list I sent you all a while
back):

http://neilstrauss.com/seuss.jpg

Anyway, read and enjoy.

———————————————————————————-
The following is intended to be nothing more than humorous
gibberish. Should anyone want to take offense, keep in mind that
its fucking Dr. Seuss.  And I’m really bored today.

Operating under the assumption that fish are women. . .

“One fish two fish red fish blue fish
black fish blue fish old fish new fish.
Some are red and some are blue.
Some are old and some are new.”

There is considerable physical variety out there. While you may
have preferences, i.e. red fish, it will be more beneficial for you
to practice your social skills on all varieties of fish. When you
have perfected your skill set, there will still be plenty of red
fish. And the experiences you have with blue fish, old fish, and
new fish will teach you about yourself and your preferences as
well. Perhaps, when you were younger, you had an experience with a
red fish. Being young, i.e., not smart yet, you may have decided
that the joy you received from that experience was due to the
redness of the fish. But blue fish can have a bangin’ hot ass too.

“Some are sad and some are glad.
And some are very, very bad.”

It can be difficult, particularly in the beginning, to get a clear
reading on other people’s private, more authentic personas as
opposed to their public personas. You need to be able to meet a
girl and figure out what the odds are that she will stab you.
Calibration is your friend.

“Why are they sad and glad and bad?
I dont know. Go ask your dad.”

If I can interject myself into this interpretation for a moment, it
has not been uncommon, in the past, for my Facebook status to read
simply, “BBC.” People who know me understand that this stands for
Bitches Be Crazy. While it sounds derogatory, it’s not really
intended that way, but as a sort of funny, exasperated
acknowledgment of the frequently vastly different emotional lives
women lead as opposed to men, as well as a shorthand way of letting
people know that I’m having some sort of chick drama. So what the
story is saying is that perhaps an older male or a more experienced
PUA can give you advice. You are probably overthinking it. Go
sleep with 10 more women.

“Some are thin and some are fat.
The fat one has a yellow hat.”

Women are natural peacockers. They get trained in accessorizing
early on. The fat fish, knowing she needs to draw attention away
from her less attractive feature, wears a yellow hat. This also
gives you an excuse to say, “Hey nice hat,” and thereby ride that
fat fish to your heart’s content or until your friends find out.
(Hey, Dr Seuss set up the fat joke here. What? You expected me to
just let that one go by out of political correctness? And for the
record, mopeds are fun as hell too.)

“From there to here,
from here to there,
funny things everywhere.”

Humorous things will happen to you on your quest to become a PUA.
Remember the story when Neil ended up on a fire escape with no
pants?  Now just imagine the dumbass things YOU are going to do
once you get in the field. . .

“Here are some who like to run.
They run for fun in the hot, hot sun”

If you don’t hit the gym every now and then, but manage to find a
fish in good shape, she will wear your sorry ass out and leave
you semi-conscious and gasping in a pool of sweat and tears to go
find someone who can keep up with her. Lift a weight every now and
then, slackass.

“Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!”

Be sure to inject emotion into your speaking voice. Pretend you
care about their cat’s personality.

“What a lot of funny things go by.”

Use situational comments to start a conversation: Did you see those
two girls fighting outside the club? It was crazy! And then blah
blah blah take your shirt off. (Note: blah blah blah represents
more steps and time than is necessarily apparent.)

“Some have two feet and some have four.
Some have six feet and some have more.”

This refers to the end of your bed. As your skill set progresses
upward, you will go from being alone under the covers to having a
woman with you to having threesomes and more.

“Where do they come from?
I can’t say.
But I bet they have come a long, long way.”

For an AFC, a hot woman is like your second grade teacher. It is
difficult to imagine them leading lives, particularly normal lives
wherein they do things like eat or sneeze or watch something boring
on TV because there’s nothing else on. So, in the AFC mind, a hot
woman is always just that, a hot woman, who he imagines living
somewhere magical and exotic, often in a landscape involving a
disproportionate number of large, fluffy beds. But what the story
is saying is that these women are bored, traveling miles and miles
in search of some sort of adventure to help them escape from their
drab reality. That adventure could be you.

“We see them come.
We see them go.”

Again, the fish/hot women are being viewed from the AFC viewpoint.
They are observed, not interacted with. They are “studied,” which
bears absolutely no relation to stalking at all. (Footnote: It’s
perfectly normal to know that a woman goes to bed an hour earlier
on Tuesday than she does on Wednesday. What? I just happen to be
in that neighborhood a lot.) Anyway, the point is, they move fast,
so make sure you always use the three second rule, or the
opportunity will pass you by.

“Some are fast.
And some are slow.”

This is the next thing you must do after using the three-second
rule: calibrate. Some fish/women will be easier to sleep with
because their goal that night is to have sex. Others are more
relationship-oriented and will require a greater time investment.
And some are in between, and will have higher ASD, which will
require more time to get past. She just wants some validation. So
maybe spend some time cleaning up the pile of sand before she lays
her eggs in it. It’ll make her feel good and it’ll make you feel
good.

“Some are high.
And some are low.”

This is a guideline on whether to neg or not. Some fish have high
self-esteem and are more emotionally stable and have shiny scales
and whatnot, and you may have to tease and disqualify yourself in
order to be considered a potential suitor. Other fish tend towards
lower self esteem and more emotional fragility. So you must be
careful here. The lower self esteem fish often masquerade as higher
self esteem fish–until you throw in one neg too many because you
had that extra shot of whiskey and all of a sudden you’re the guy
who made the girl cry at the party.  Good luck getting invited
back. Also, her friends hate you now too.

“Not one of them is like another.
Don’t ask us why.”

Predicting the behavior of women in no way implies understanding of
said behavior. We know that if they do X, then Y is a behavior that
has had Z result for some percentage of people when it happened to
them. But everyone is different, and no two approaches are the
same, so that’s what keeps the game exciting.

“Go ask your mother.”

This is a final warning to manage your expectations. Just because
you now know what you’re doing with women in no way guarantees
that you will not be hurt. In fact, it makes it much more likely
because you’re now actually out interacting with women instead of
waiting for your next sexual experience to finish downloading.
When you do get hurt, it’s okay, because your mom still loves you.
She will still hug you. Perhaps she will also have advice. (Just
don’t tell her the part about how the argument with the girl
started during a conversation about anal sex and how, really, it’s
perfectly natural and if she really cared about you, it shouldn’t
be that big of a deal. And anyway, this other girl I used to
date. . .)
In my final analysis of “One Fish, Two Fish” by Dr. Seuss, while
the manual does have some useful advice for the hapless AFC, it is
unfortunately not presented in an organized enough fashion to be
terribly useful. It’s kind of all over the place. And now, for
some reason, I want to go to the aquarium and touch myself. . .

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I’m writing with an important message for female readers. But
before I get to that, first a quick list of Australian tour
dates:

-SYDNEY-

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24th  at 6:30 p.m.
The Art House Hotel
275 Pitt St
Sydney
(02) 9284 1200
Sponsored by Kinokuniya: (02) 9262 7996 or (02) 8251 4513

Note: You can get tickets either from Kinokuniya bookstore (at the
number above) or at the door. If you’ve been on this list a while,
you know that I hate charging any sort of fee for a booksigning,
reading, and Q&A session. I do them as a thank-you to those of you
on this list for reading the books and taking part in all the other
activities. That said, because the publisher had to pay for a bigger
venue, the admission is $15. It includes a drink, but I’ll tell you
what: If that feels like too much for you to pay, come up to me
during the signing afterward, give me your email address, and I’ll
send you a special something that will more than make up for the
entrance fee.

-MELBOURNE-

THURSDAY, JUNE 25th at 6:30 p.m.
Dymocks
234 Collins St
3000 Melbourne
(03) 9660 8500 (or email levents@dymocks.com.au)

NOTE: This one is free; however, space is limited and likely to
fill. So make sure you call the number above to reserve your spot
as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, there won’t be an event in Brisbane. The publisher
canceled this for some reason unbeknownst to me, but I’ll come
through next time I’m in Australia. Would love to make it to Perth
too. As well as take a New Zealand road trip next summer.

————————————————————————–
NOW, THE VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO FEMALE READERS OF THE GAME…
————————————————————————–

Every now and then, a woman sends me an email or comes up to me at
a signing and says, “This guy tried to use the game on me the other
night, and I totally called him out on it.”

She usually seems very pleased with herself when she says this, and
wants some sort of compliment or pat on the head.

However, all I can think when this happens is: “You don’t get it!”

If you’ve read the book, then you understand that 90 percent of
guys using the game are focused on self-improvement and learning to
interact better with women - and the world.

When you shoot a guy down for using the game, especially if he’s
someone just beginning this journey to become socially comfortable,
all you’re doing is retarding his progress and development. And, in
some cases, possibly discouraging him from every trying again.

Instead, if you’ve read The Game, and a PUA-in-training comes up to
you using the material, instead of calling him out, HELP him out.
And do it constructively, not condescendingly. Especially if he is
doing something wrong or you see something you can give him advice
with. I’m sure everyone on this list would appreciate helpful,
constructive advice that will improve their success on a permanent
basis. If you’re feeling really generous, be a great wingwoman to
him that night. And if you’re feeling really, really generous…um,
never mind.

Okay?

Now, some of the guys reading this may wonder: how prevalent is the
material? Am I going to get caught if I use it?

If you’ve read the two-book sequel Rules of the Game, you know it
doesn’t matter. All you need is a contingency plan if you get
caught. I’ve met a number of guys who are now dating someone who
originally recognized their opener, and rather than getting scared
and running away, they continued the conversation. After all, the
only thing an opener is meant to do is to OPEN a conversation,
whatever the response may be.

However, as you probably know, I’m not one to just SAY something
without thoroughly researching it. So, as we speak, I’ve put
together “Style’s Street Team.” They are currently roaming the
malls, cafes, bars, and bistros of the country as we speak, testing
out the most common material (such as the Jealous Girlfriend
Opener) and keeping track of just how often it is recognized, as
well as how often it is effective for them. I’m compiling this as
part of the extra material in the paperback, single-volume reissue
of Rules of the Game, but I’ll of course give you a sneak peak of
the results here.

Hope to meet some of you in Australia. I’ve received so many emails
from you all, so glad to finally be speaking there…

Til Then,
Neil

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I usually spend a lot of time writing these emails, which is why you
don’t receive them that often from me.

This one is an exception.

Just want to quickly let you know that it seems the Emergency “Life
Hacking” Book Tour is continuing.

I will be in France next week, and Australia shortly afterward.

Here are the dates if you can make it. Note that some of the
Australia locations are still being finalized:

PARIS, FRANCE
Friday, June 12th at 6:00pm
La Musardine (bookshop)
122, Rue Chemin Vert
              +33 1 49 29 48 55         +33 1 49 29 48 55
Special Guest: My Dad

(NOTE: I had received a few emails from French lairs, but they’re
now firmly buried in the inbox. So if you run a lair there, send
an email titled “PARIS” so we can get back in touch before I arrive.)

BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA
Tuesday, June 23rd
Location TBA

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA
Wednesday, June 24th
The Art House Hotel
275 Pitt Street
Sponsored by Kinokuniya Bookstore
(02) 8251 4513

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
Thursday, June 25th
Location TBA
Sponsored by Dymocks

Looking forward to FINALLY touring these countries. And hopefully
more soon. The Estonian edition of The Game is coming out soon -
for real - and I’m told that Tallinn is amazing…

—————————————————————-

On another note, I recently received three separate emails saying
that Emergency actually saved someone’s life. And every one was
for the same reason: someone’s friend or parent experienced a
medical emergency. And because the readers had taken either CERT
training, the American Heart Association CPR class, or Red Cross
CPR, First Aid, and AED, they were able to respond effectively.

Thanks for sending in the inspirational stories. And remember that
Emergencies are not just natural, economic, and terrorist disasters,
but sometimes personal. So if you DON’T know what to do if
you witness someone experiencing a heart attack, a seizure,
anaphylactic shock, a broken limb, a car accident, or any other
trauma or tragedy, now is the time to learn. Because later may be
too late.

Hope to see you at the signings, where I’ll be teaching some
slightly more uplifting (and subversive) survival skills. And, of
course, answering your game questions…

Best,
Neil

P.S. I’ve also received a lot of emails asking if Emergency
preparation is expensive. And actually, self-sufficiency is a much
more affordable way to live. To choose a random example, buying
a chick costs three dollars. So for basically the price of a carton
of eggs, you can get the whole factory - and a new pet.

More to the point, if you are interested in taking the CERT classes
mentioned in the book, they’re very good and they’re very free. You
can find out where they’re taking place in your state (if you’re in
America) here:

http://www.citizencorps.gov/cc/listCouncil.do?submitByState&stateOnly

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I’ve been wanting to write this email “rant” for about a month.  But I keep starting it, then stopping it. It’s hard to get the tone right without showing too much frustration:

If I thought doing the media circus for The Game was tough, discussing Emergency has unexpectedly been even more of a challenge.

In about half the radio interviews I’ve done prior to last month, the host has asked, with some disdain, “Prepare for what? What do you think’s going to happen?”

And then, suddenly, when the swine flu panic hit, those same people suddenly started calling and asking if I could do another interview offering their listeners survival tips.

Same thing happened after the California earthquakes last week.

We live in a world that seems to REACT to emergencies, rather than PREPARE for them. Leading to a situation in which the panic can be more dangerous than the disaster itself.

But why not prepare ahead of time?

It doesn’t take that much time or money.

There’s a certain peace of mind that comes from knowing that when the next inevitable panic seizes hold of people, not only do you know what to do, but you have the equipment and skills on hand to take care of yourself and those you love.

That’s one of the reasons why I enjoy this list so much and the emails I’ve received from you. Many of you who’ve read Emergency have gone on not just to learn preparedness yourself, but to actually take CERT training and join volunteer rescue groups to give back to the community.

And so I thought I would try to give something back with this email, rather than just vent my frustrations about the hypocrisy of the media.

So I prepared a list for you of the ten most common myths about surviving terrorism, fires, earthquakes, um, shark attacks, and other emergencies both likely and unlikely.

Just like the Game, where I learned that many of the so-called common-sense things I learned about attraction were wrong, in Emergency I learned that much of the wisdom I learned growing up about survival was actually wrong.

And, in the right situation, the wrong survival tip can kill you (whereas the wrong sarging tip can only humiliate you).

So here is a little PDF of top ten survival myths, followed by the truth. It is dedicated to the woman I saw in the airport wearing an N95 mask during the swine flu panic while rubbing her eyes with her bare hands.

You can find it here:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/survivalmyths.pdf
(right-click to download)

Enjoy, and if you find it useful, pass it on. After all, as you’re reading this, there may be a shark lurking in the bushes outside, just waiting to attack. Don’t be caught with your guard down.

On a serious note, if you do have any tips to add to it, email stslimjim@gmail.com with the headline LIFESAVER and I’ll add them to an updated version.

And don’t forget, learning survival isn’t just about not dying, it’s also a great adventure.

To Life,
Neil

P.S. Thanks for your votes in the mobster co-writer competition. The results were very close, and your feedback was instrumental in selecting an author. That said, I have a feeling we’ll be reading more from all three of your fellow VIP members on Igniter. Congratulations again to everyone who took a shot and submitted such great work.

P.P.S. The link again for the Emergency survival myths-versus-truths appendix is:

http://www.neilstrauss.com/survivalmyths.pdf

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