Nekkid Boy

Excuse me?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 20:02:00 +0000

NekkidBoy and family sat down to eat lunch. At the end, Mommy Person gave NekkidBoy some blueberry yogurt and a spoon.

Nekkid Boy eyed the yogurt and figured it was probably safe to eat since Big Daddy was slurping it up too.

He ate a few spoonfuls but soon grew bored with the whole experience. Until.... Big Daddy let out a big BURP!!

Big Daddy: *BURP*
Nekkid Boy: Excuse me

Big Daddy: Excuse me
Nekkid Boy: Excuse ME

Big Daddy: No, no. Excuse me
Nekkid Boy: Excuse MEeeee

Big Daddy: No, no, really. Excuse ME.
Nekkid Boy: Excuse Nekkid Boy. Excuse Momma.

Big Daddy: What about....
Nekkid Boy: Excuse Baby Burp!

Nekkid Boy: Excuse yogurt!

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:44:00 +0000

Wordless Wednesday - Nekkid Boy Takes Over Preschool

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 20:40:00 +0000

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:00:00 +0000

Things I Did Today

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 20:13:00 +0000

- punched my sister in the chest and pushed her over
- dumped all the toys out of the toy basket very s-l-o-w-l-y as Momma Person shouted, "No! Don't dump those out! Take out the one toy you want."
- dumped out another basket of toys
- happily took a chicken nugget to eat
- left aforementioned chicken nugget in a chewed up, soggy mess on the carpet for Mommy Person to find
- broke the candle snuffer
- used aforementioned snuffer bell as a "hat" for my monster truck
- put empty toy basket on Baby Burp's head
- ran over to investigate Baby Burp's diaper when Momma Person announced that BB had pooped
- snapped sidewalk chalk in half, then quarters
- rolled my tricycle over broken sidewalk chalk
- stomped on broken sidewalk chalk
- asked Momma Person to tickle me
- refused to eat anything except Cheerios
- picked up my ToddleRock chair and tossed it around
- threw a few tantrums bad enough to be rated on the Richter scale
- jumped in a circle and shouted "WOO HOO!" a few dozen times
- bonked my head into Momma Person's back as hard as I could

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 01:09:00 +0000

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 02:16:00 +0000

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:19:00 +0000

What color?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 21:43:00 +0000

Nekkid Boy lay on the pillow next to MommyPerson and snuggled up closer to her. He felt a tingle in his right nostril and decided to investigate.

After much investigating and digging, he extracted the offending nostril tickler -- a big booger.

He held the booger up and admired it's size, texture and color.

MommyPerson: That's a booger. Let me have that.
Nekkid Boy: Berger.
MommyPerson: Yes, a booger. We wipe boogers away with tissues.
Nekkid Boy: GREEEEEEEEEEEN BERGER!!!

Feel the breeze

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:43:00 +0000

After refusing to take a bath, instead opting to sit on the potty chair and play with his race cars, Nekkid Boy ran around the upstairs naked as a jay-bird. He called out to his new friend Super Zetta to come play with him. He ran from this bedroom to the bathroom and back again to his bedroom. He ran into Baby Burp's room and giggled, then ran back out.

MommaPerson laid Baby Burp on the floor to get her dressed for bed. As she leaned forward to secure Baby Burp's diaper, Nekkid Boy leaped onto her back, spread eagle, arms locked around MommyPerson's neck and giggled and cackled.

He eventually tired of climbing all over MommyPerson. Ahh.. but the fan! The fan meant endless possibilities for fun.

Nekkid Boy crouched down and turned on the fan. He stood up in front of the fan (blowing full blast of course), spread his feet so he was standing with his feet shoulder width apart and said, "Ooooooooooo! Cold!"

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 00:55:00 +0000

Daddy?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 16:07:00 +0000

"Okay Nekkid Boy. It's time to leave Invisible Ian's house. We're going to go see Big Daddy and have lunch with him."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and a tantrum ensued.

Minutes later, MommyPerson had Nekkid Boy firmly strapped into the Durango Dragonmobile. As she climbed into the driver's seat, she reminded Nekkid Boy that they were going to go see Big Daddy. Her gentle reminder met a very loud and firm declaration of "no" from Nekkid Boy.

During the drive, she periodically - and enthusiastically - asked Nekkid Boy if he wanted to go see Big Daddy and have lunch. Each time, the reply was an emphatic no.

After ten minutes of trying to psych Nekkid Boy up to go see Big Daddy, MommyPerson conceded defeat and headed home.

As she walked up the front porch steps, holding Baby Burp in her arms and holding Nekkid Boy's hand, Nekkid Boy looked up at her and sweetly asked, "Daddy?"

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 20:51:00 +0000

.... And Now.... Baking Soda!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 15:31:00 +0000

Mommy Person was trying so hard to pick up the house. So many things not in the right place due to a week of chaos. She needed to put things back to order and have some sanity. Nekkid Boy followed her around (he was still not allowed to watch TV or have toys because the Cheerios were still on the floor), looking for opportunities to wreak havoc.

As Mommy Person started clearing off the dining room table, Nekkid Boy reached for the open container of baking soda used the previous night in Baby Burp's bath. He shook it real fast and as Mommy Person shouted, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo" and moved as if in slow motion to snatch the box, Nekkid Boy turned it upside down.

As the soft white powder floated down to the carpet, Nekkid Boy smiled and said, "Big mess!"

The Cheerios Battle of Wills

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 15:22:00 +0000

Nekkid Boy sat in his chair happily crunching away on the tumbler cup of Cheerios that Mommy Person gave him.

He slyly looked out the corner of his eye and tipped the tumbler oh so slowly.

"Please do not pour out the Cheerios, Nekkid Boy."

He pulled the tumbler back to his lap and ate a few more.

Ten minutes passed and quick as lightening, Nekkid Boy reached his arm out and dumped the Cheerios on the floor.

"Ugh. Okay, Nekkid Boy, you need to pick up the Cheerios please. Put them back in the cup."

"No."

"Yes, Nekkid Boy. No TV until you pick up the Cheerios. Mommy Person will help but you have to pick up the Cheerios."

"Nooooooooo."

Mommy Person picked up all the toys and put them away. There would be no TV and no toys until the Cheerios were picked up. She tried taking turns. She tried cajoling. She tried her super stern voice. Nekkid Boy would not pick up those Cheerios!

Finally, she held his hand and led him back to the Cheerios. She explained once again, that Nekkid Boy's privileges were suspended until the Cheerios were picked back up.

Nekkid Boy stood in front of the pile of Cheerios. He slowly extended his leg, then carefully placed his foot on a Cheerio. He closed his toes around a single Cheerio, then lifted his foot and dropped the Cheerio into Mommy Person's hand.

Nekkid Boy counted this as a win. Mommy Person was less than amused.

Haiku Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 21:08:00 +0000

Wet. Cold. Squish. I play.
Friends join me in the mud pit.
Led astray they are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monkey bars so tall
Beckon me to climb and play.
ER doctor. Ouch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whine, squirm, shout and cry;
Clutch my tummy. Agony.
Peee-eeewwww. I go toot!

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 03:53:00 +0000

Nekkid Boy's Busy Day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:49:00 +0000

Itinerary 7.16.07

Baby Burp is learning to walk. Must push her over every possible chance.
Sit on Big Daddy's lap. Count, "Ooooone..... twoooooo..... threeeeeeeeeee.... *fart*"
Run as fast as I can from kitchen, through dining room, into living room and back as many times as I can. Be sure to stomp while running and shout, "RUN! RUN! RUN!"
Take a bite of Morning Star corn dog, screech, then spit the bite onto the floor and say "HOT!" even if it's not.
Whine.
Whine some more.
Whine for Handy Manny.
Whine for Little Einsteins.
When Mommy Person puts on the show I've been whining for, shout, "Different one?! DIFFERENT ONE!" until she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and counts softly to ten.
Resume running.
Grab baby gate and shake it as hard as I can to make as much noise as possible.
Get Baby Burp interested in shaking the gate so she gets scolded and not me.
Push Baby Burp down again.
Take Baby Burp's sippy of milk and drink it. All of it. Laugh and run away.
Count the bubbles in the bath tub.
Find a cup. Fill it with bath water and pour it into the tub over to give Mommy Person a false sense of security. When she turns her back to get a towel, throw a full cup of water all over the bathroom floor.
Get out of bed at least 15 times.

Nekkid Boy's Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 04:01:00 +0000

A Day in the Life of Nekkid Boy

A Conversation with Nekkid Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 00:42:00 +0000

MommyPerson (MP): Here, please hold this clean diaper for me while I change you.

Nekkid Boy (NB): Blue truck. Green truck. Five!

MP: Yes, there's a five on the diaper.

NB: Blue diaper. Green diaper. Clean diaper.

MP: Mmm-hmmmm....

NB: Poo. Lotta poo.

MP: Yes, there's a lot of poo.

NB: Poo. Clean diaper! Brown pooooooo.

MP: I love you Nekkid Boy.

NB: I love you Momma.

MP: I love you too Nekkid Boy.

NB: I love you too Momma.

MP: I love you too Nekkid Boy.

NB: I love you too Momma.

MP: I love you too Nekkid Boy.

NB: I love you too Momma.

MP: I love you too Nekkid Boy.

NB: I love you too Momma.

MP: I love you too Nekkid Boy.

NB: I love you too Momma.

*happy sigh*

Nekkid Boy Goes Tee-tee

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 23:50:00 +0000

Nekkid Boy howled.

Nekkid Boy yowled.

Baby Burp looked on in amazement as her brother fought tooth and nail to stop MommyPerson's lame duck attempts to scrub him down in the tub.

"Nooo! NOOO!!!" The shouting and screaming continued. MommyPerson finally covered the boy with suds and rinsed him off.

"Ni-niiii?" he queried.

"Yes, you can go night-night in just a minute."

MommyPerson scooped up BabyBurp and dried her off. As she set BabyBurp down on the bathroom floor, NekkidBoy jumped halfway out of the tub then started to whimper for assistance. MommyPerson quickly toweled him off just as BabyBurp opened the bathroom door and made a beeline for the top of the stairs.

Scurrying to snatch BabyBurp from near tragedy, it vaguely registered in MommyPerson's brain that Nekkid Boy was sitting on the toilet (with the lid down of course because anyone caught leaving the lid up in MommyPerson's house felt the keen wrath of her ire!) and talking half gibberish about the potty.

"Potty...... --gibberish gibberish-- tee-tee.... on potty... --gibberish gibberish--"

"Don't flush the potty please." MommyPerson called as she wrestled BabyBurp into a diaper.

"I on potty...... --gibberish gibberish gibberish-- tee-tee.... potty... --gibberish gibberish-- I tee-tee"

As MommyPerson considered dressing BabyBurp in a straight-jacket for the evening, she realized that Nekkid Boy was talking about bodily fluids. She *hoped* he was just talking about it.

Finally, after much wrestling, struggling and acrobatics of pajamas, MommyPerson placed BabyBurp in her crib, turned on the music box and quietly closed the door. She crossed her fingers (and mentally crossed her toes because to actually cross her toes would make walking painful and difficult) that what she heard coming from the bathroom was .... well.... just conversation and not commentary on action.

She should have crossed her toes.

NekkidBoy proudly sat on top of the toilet seat lid and proclaimed, "I tee-tee on potty!"

... and on the floor.... and in the trash can.... "Trash can!" .... and on the side of the tub.... and, yes, even on the toilet seat lid.

A Poignant Moment with Nekkid Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 02:54:00 +0000

Nekkid Boy woke from his nap and slowly made his way down the steps holding tightly onto Mr. Puppy, his constant companion.

Halfway down the staircase, MommyPerson appeared and smiled sweetly at her little boy. "Hi sweetheart," she cooed as she lovingly gazed on Nekkid Boy.

"HI!" Nekkid Boy replied as he waved vigorously at MommyPerson, still descending step by step.

Four steps from the bottom, Nekkid Boy was swept up into MommyPerson's arms. He smiled sweetly at MommyPerson as she carried him to the rocking chair. Behind that innocent and loving smile was the hint of a scheming smirk.

MommyPerson gently rocked Nekkid Boy, reveling in the warmth of her sweet boy, holding him close, feeling his soft breath on her neck as his head rested on her shoulder. She remembered many other such loving moments with him since becoming a mother.

"These are the moments. These are the moments you remember and treasure forever, " she thought to herself.

As a single tear formed in the corner of MommyPerson's eye, Nekkid Boy farted, giggled and ran off to play with his trucks.

More Nekkid Boy Haiku

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 18:52:00 +0000

Eat a meal? Never!
I won't sit at the table.
Corn Chex everywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pajama bottoms
Pulled up over my knees. Ha!
High-water fashion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I pooooooo. I pooooooooo. Pooo.
Barnes & Noble train table
Is so relaxing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Momma is comfort.
Daddy for security.
Sister is a toy.

Nekkid Boy Haiku

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 01:34:00 +0000

Warm and soft, it's mine
Feel it squish and run all over
Don't tell Mom. My poo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My nemeses true
Stop me from danger and fun
Spoil sport baby gate

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boing boing. Dong. Dong. Dong.
Daddy teaches me fun sounds.
I want boing boing boing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Train. Truck. You hear that?
Yes! I hear airplane, bird, car.
Trash truck. I want trash.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bath time; water fun.
Jump, pour, splash, throw, uh-oh.
Momma slips on floor.

I don't need no stinkin' sleep!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 06:18:00 +0000

Night 1: Bed time - 8:00pm
Actual time Nekkid Boy fell asleep - 10:30pm

Night 2: Bed time - 8:15pm
Actual time Nekkid Boy fell asleep - 11:45pm

What happened between bed time and actual sleep time?
A whole lot of insanity.