Nenni's World

Moving

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 03:44:00 +0000

Okay, because it's been so long...because I've had about 7 months of contemplating what I was going to do...I have decided to start fresh over here, so come join me!

Nenni's World has moved over here:

http://nennisworld.wordpress.com/

Tell your friends, change your reader subscriptions, come on over!

What I’ve been up to

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:40:00 +0000

As many of you know, I know I told you, I had surgery on Wednesday. I came really close to having to have surgery on Sunday, but was able to hold off with pain killers until Wednesday.

It was a successful surgery. Here I am on Friday morning and I am feeling…okay. Better than I expected, but I’m not running laps anytime soon.

The hospital had a computer system that The Husband could track what I was doing…think airport system where it tells you “in flight”; “landed”; etc… This said, “In surgery”; “in recovery”; etc…

We arrived at the hospital at 5:45 in the morning, they got me into surgery at 7:31 am, and I was on my way home around 10:45…well, to the pharmacy first where my husband ran in to fill the prescription and I stayed in the car, opened the car door, vomited all over the parking space next to me, and then leaned back feeling MUCH better.

It seriously amazed me how much better I felt after that. So, then on the way home we went.

Since then, I have taken pain pills the first day, half the second day, and none today so far.

I have taken a shower this morning (which involved going up the stairs…and back down).

The husband got me an eBook. I am SO in love with it. I’ve wanted one for so very long! He has taken very good care of me and I love having him here at my side.

Needless to say, I am feeling better than I expected and I am expect that I will be back at work on Wednesday easily.

So, what have you been up to?

God’s Plans

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 02:25:00 +0000

I am, in no way, a perfect person. I make my mistakes and try to live the best life that I know how.

I am also, as one of God’s people, a person who has free will. God has made me (as He made all of us) to have the ability to make choices, good or bad, in our life.

I have, many times, made choices that were not in His plans. However, the difference between me and the person in the story I’m about to tell, is that I have never said that my bad choices were in His plans.

Nope, those choices were not in His plans for me; but He is always there.

Why that preface? To let you know that I am not at all judging this person, but using it as a lesson I think many need to hear.

I read many blogs and, at times, I wonder why I read them. Then I realize, have you ever got sucked into a soap opera? Or driven by an accident and tried not to look? You just can’t stop!

So I read this blog and it’s a person who is divorced with 4 children. Until recently, I would not have put her in the soap opera category, mostly because I saw a person who hadn’t necessarily made horrible choices in her life. When she was pregnant with her last child, her husband left her for another woman…a shock to her.

Now, however, this is where it turns into a soap opera. After more than a year of being divorced, she announced that she is, again, pregnant…by her exhusband…who is not going to marry the woman he left her for…

um, yeah!

But wait, where does God’s plan come into all this?

Simple. In the post that she announced her pregnancy, she end with saying that she knows that she shouldn’t have slept with her ex again, she knew she was doing wrong, but (now get this) “God never promised us fair…but He did promise that He has a plan, and it’s for good.”

Seriously! That’s what she said!

Now, do I think God has a plan? YES!

Do I think that my bad choices are in His plan? NO

When I read that I seriously had to laugh in disbelief.

Do I think that I wouldn’t do the same thing in her situation? Nope. I don’t know what I would do. I haven’t lived through her life or situation.

What I do know is that, in all the bad choices I make, I do not pretend to think that it is all part of His plan.

There are things that I do believe are in His plan, but they are things that I don’t choose for myself, but He chooses for me.

The lay off? His plan.

How do I know? Without it, I would have missed out on some great times with my grandmother and I would not be in this job where I truly believe I am doing His work and am in a place that I am making a great difference to children and families.

This surgery? Well, it’s not because of my bad choices, that I can tell of, so is it part of His plan? I don’t know. I’m not fool enough to say it is; but I’m also not fool enough to rule it out.

The fact that I burned my hand in the oven the other day? NOT in His plans…I did something stupid.

Okay, burning my hand is in no way on the level of getting yourself knocked up out of marriage, with a man who is going to marry someone else (even if he was a past husband); but it’s the same basic principle…neither one is in His plan.

(just a side note, I will greatly appreciate prayer for the wisdom and knowledge of the surgeon and all the hospital staff on Wednesday morning as I have my gallbladder removed; and prayers that everything goes the way it is meant to go, hopefully with minimal recovery time.)

My apologies

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 03:12:00 +0000

I am absolutely disgusted, saddened, and sick to my stomach over the disrespectful display I saw tonight at the memorial service for those who lost their lives in the tragic event last Saturday.

If there was a display like that at my Grandmother’s funeral, I would have been appalled at the lack of respect.

That could in NO WAY be called a memorial service and I, as an American who prayed and mourned for those who were lost and injured, would like to extend my apologies to those families who are grieving. Please know that there are those of us who were not in that room who have said prayers for you and your families in this time of need. There are those of us who have grieved the loss of a beautiful child who should tucked in by her mom tonight, not used in a disgusting play of politics.

It makes me sad the direction this has gone and, the least any of us can do is apologize for the disgusting display tonight, in the days past, and, I’m sure, in the days to come.

I am truly sorry. Your loved ones deserve so much more than this.

This is Just a Test

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 19:19:00 +0000

I am trying out a new app for my phone. Supposedly I should be able to post to ny Blogger site this way. We'll see!

I have a date

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 00:55:00 +0000

For surgery that is.

What? I haven’t been around in a while and you have no clue what’s going on? I can’t pick up where I left off?

Sorry. I just haven’t had much motivation to blog lately. Call it laziness, writer’s block, uninspired, or whatever. Life has just been moving forward with nothing great and exciting…

well, except for the surgery aspect.

So, let me get you up to date:

Back in September, I was in the hospital with chest pains. I wasn’t sure what it was and went in. The pain subsided, they ran tests, couldn’t fond anything, and sent me home.

Back in December, I had the pain again…sort of…but this time it was much worse and I knew it wasn’t the heart. On a scale of 1-10 the pain was 120! No Joke!

The pumped me full of anti-nausea medicine and 3 pain killers…then they sent me to a sonogram and found gallstones. The gallstones were NOT blocking ducts nor was there an infection, so they sent me home with THREE painkillers and instructions to follow up with the general surgeon to have surgery at a future date.

I did and I waited for a for a surgery date. When I called the first time, the “scheduler” seemed annoyed that I was calling her and indicated that they were backed up and I wouldn’t get an appointment until February.

The next night/morning I woke up and had to take ALL of my pain killers over the course of about 2 hours before the pain subsided. I was this close (imagine my thumb and first finger about 1 cm apart) in waking my husband and telling him we needed to go before it started to subside.

That day, I called the general surgeon again and explained that I had major pain again, I hadn’t had any foods I shouldn’t have (I actually had eaten roasted vegetables that night for dinner) and, other than going into the ER, was there a way to move the surgery up.

He moved me up on the list, but even then it was going to be 6 weeks before they would call, and that would just be to schedule the date which would be 2-3 weeks out from that! There is no way I could wait that long!

They then called me back and asked if I’d be willing to go to a location that was further away. I would get in much sooner and this location, while a bit further, is actually not too bad. Plus, I don’t have to drive it! Ha!

Anyway, they set me up with a different surgeon and when I called there I was basically shocked at how quickly I could get a date…I have an appointment on the 14th to “meet the surgeon” and then my surgery is scheduled for the 19th…but, he might even do it on the 17th! Whoo hoo! I would LOVE that!

So, now that it’s maybe only a week away, and no more than a week and a half away, I am busy getting things caught up at work so that I don’t have to do a weeks worth of missed work when I return. They say it’s a 1-2 week recovery. I’m aiming for 1 week. I’m sure the second week I will be fine, but I’ll probably work half days anyway, just to ease into it.

Of course, that very night that I go my surgery date I had another huge episode! I did manage the pain with the pills, but I don’t want to go the ER route; however, had I not gotten the surgery date so soon, I probably would have just gone in the next time I had the pain.

So, what have you been up to?

Sonogram

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 02:06:00 +0000

Yep, I had a sonogram last night somewhere between 3:30 and 8:00.

Oh, you don’t think it’s was for GOOD news do you? Nope, not in the least! The results? Gallstones! BIG ones! 1 centimeter ones!

Hey, if I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it right!

Okay, so here’s how it went down. I had lunch at 12:00 (the bowl of turkey stew) and then I had a small bowl of tortilla chips a bit later…not sure how much later.

Then about 3:00 I started with a bit of, what I thought, was stomach pain. Sometimes when I eat something I find that I need to have a cup of hot tea to aid in digestions. So, I made a cup of hot tea…

It DID…NOT…HELP! As a matter of fact it was quickly getting worse!

The Husband was upstairs taking a nap. He hasn’t been feeling 100% for a while now and so the extra sleep is good for him.

If you recall, in September I was in the hospital with some chest pains. It had turned out to be nothing back then, so I kind of writhed around on the floor in the living room (no, LITERALLY writhed on the ground in every conceivable position to try and relieve the pain) for a while.

I KNEW it wasn’t my heart…this time I could tell that it wasn’t my heart, but the pain was similar to last time…except exponentially worse! But last time after about 45 minutes total the pain subsided with no medication and I was sent away with no diagnosis. I was hoping the pain would just go away…it didn’t.

Sitting hurt, laying down hurt, moving hurt, not moving hurt, I have never felt pain like this in my entire life! After pacing around for a bit, going halfway up the stairs to wake The Husband and then coming back down because, “that’s just silly what is he going to do” and then pacing around some more and then finally going up the stairs and waking him, I was literally in tears by now.

Now, remember my high pain tolerance. I have a SUPER high pain tolerance…to have pain that brings me to tears is MAJOR pain!

I think we were BOTH hesitant to go to the hospital, but after not getting hold of one of our friends with medical background, we figured we might as well go.

On the way to the hospital I was very aware that I was going to be THAT patient. You know the one that is in the hole in the wall room with a curtain who was shouting out to “Just make it go away” and disturbing everyone else? I was SO trying to stop the shouting out in the car because I so didn’t want to be THAT patient…I couldn’t stop.

We got to the hospital, he stopped at the door, I went in and told them at the window that I was having major chest pains…okay, here’s my confession. I KNEW it wasn’t with my heart, I just knew it; but I also knew that if I wanted to get seen sooner I should generalize it to my entire chest.

The one girl at the window wanted to stop and get all my information for insurance…three people standing behind her very quickly said forget that we’ll get it later, bring her back.

So I got immediate attention and, what seemed like FOREVER was probably actually just 10 minutes before the pain medicine got put in and what seemed like forever and was probably less than a minute since it went straight in the iv, the pain began to subside from 120 to a 5…no really, my husband asked me what my pain level was on a scale of 1-10 on the way in and I said 120!

I was in so much pain I just couldn’t lay still and they kept asking me to just lay still so they could get a reading on the EKG. Then I had TWO nurses (one on each side) trying to put an IV in…I’m a hard stick and I know I kind of said “Good Luck” when they told me they were going to put an iv in and so I don’t know if they decided to try one on each side because of that or if they could just see it. Either way, I had a nurse on each side basically playing whoever-gets-the-iv-line-first-is-the-winner.

Then there was the moment when that same person from the front desk who wanted my information before she would let me in and now apparently wanted it before I passed out from pain came in the room and was at the foot of the bed trying to write down the information that she needed and, I’m sure, my husband was at the nurses station answering many of the same questions. I think she realized she needed to leave as my legs were wildly kicking to try and deal with the pain…I probably should have kicked her.

Everyone else was great! At one point one nurse who wasn’t even “my nurse” came in to fix my wires since the machine kept beeping; it was never anything urgent, just basically saying the lead was off.

While I was writhing away on the bed, I even think it was while they were getting the IV in, The Husband came in and asked if I was pregnant…I think I remember just glaring at him and saying, “That’s not funny.” See, I just started on Monday and, well, there’s no possible way and since he IS my husband he should know that…

But then later we had a laugh about it as he said, “Yeah, that could have turned into an episode of House…I would have to figure out what to do.”

I said, “We all would because it would be a sign of the second coming.”

Anyway, once the pain medication kicked in from the IV I was feeling much better. I was really a nervous wreck that they wouldn’t find anything again and then I would just cry because what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-me!

The doctor said that this time he would have a sonogram done because sometimes things won’t show up on the chest x-ray. So I got wheeled down to the sonogram and got all that done.

When I got back the doctor came shortly after and basically said, “I have to wait for the radiologist to verify it, but it looks like gallstones.” And went on to explain that as long as they weren’t blocking any ducts and there were no puss then I could go home with pain pills and then go see the surgeon and would probably be in a couple weeks for surgery.

A bit later he came by and told me that it was definitely gallstones, no blockage, no puss, and he’d send me home.

On one hand, SUCKS! Until I have the surgery I have to cut out all fatty foods and basically red meat as well.

On the other hand, at least we have an answer and, although surgery is never something to be taken lightly, it’s a fairly easy fix. With everything else going on and all the troubles everyone else has, this we can deal with.

So, how was your weekend?

My Speech

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 01:41:00 +0000

(She was one hot looking lady in her youth…and awfully cute as she aged! Today was harder than I thought it would be in many ways; but I made it through. For those of you who where there in person and in thought, thank you for your support to me and my family. Many who were there requested a copy of my speech; while the original handwritten version is now with my mom, here it is typed out).

Hi, I’m Jennifer, one of her granddaughter. I like to think I’m the favorite, but I’m pretty sure all us grandkids think that. For the past two years I have been fortunate enough to spend every Tuesday night with my Grandma…and more!

Oh, I have so many memories of her throughout my life, much more than these last two years; however, the moments that I will always cherish the most are these last two years. I was blessed enough that the message was made clear to me that I needed to cherish every single one of those moments because, let’s face it, it wasn’t going to last forever. I knew that and took full advantage of it. So much so that on our Tuesday night meals, there were things that became clear to me she would like to either do for the first time ever in her 80 plus years or “just one more time” because it had been too long since her last experience.

On our many adventures, and throughout the years, I would get facebook messages, phone calls, emails, or even face-to-face messages of gratitude from various cousins, aunts, relatives, and even my mom. However, if anyone really knows me (and my Grandma did more than anyone else) you know that I never do anything I don’t want to do and I certainly didn’t do it for the gratitude. As a matter a fact, a part of me hated the gratitude because it implicated, to me, that I was doing it for a reason other than wanting to spend time with a fabulous lady.

I spent all these hours, all these days, going to all these place with her for one reason: We enjoyed each other’s company!

I enjoyed every single second and looked forward to the next time we would get to spend together. We laughed, teased, talked, and remembered the past.

I’ll never forget the last Tuesday night I spent with her. It was October 5^th. I had been at my new job for just about a month at that point and our regular weekly dinners had come to a sad end for a bit. I had been up in the area and made sure to stop by her place for dinner. We seemed to talk more than usual and share more than usual. She was so excited about my new job and expressed again (as she had several times when I talked to her recently) how much she missed having our Tuesday night dinners.

As I was getting ready to head out the door, she gave me a hug and did something that she never did during out times together. I’ll be honest, it worried me and, in some way, hindsight being what it is, gave me insight to what was too soon to come. She hugged me and she began to tear up in front of me. She hugged me tighter than usual and when I asked her why she was crying, she laughed and said, “I don’t know! I guess cause I’m an old lady!”

I think then that I knew that it was going to be our last special dinner…I just didn’t want to believe it. However, I know that October 5^th was, in all the time we spent together, one of the best nights we had spent with each other and I cherish more than any of the others.

I have always been thankful for having her in my life and for the lessons she has taught me, mostly unintended lessons by her.

I have worked with people, much younger than her, who struggle with making the change to this new confounded technology of the computer. My grandma spent hours watching owls on the internet, looked up information she needed or wanted to know, and had her own facebook page. When I told her how I used her as an example to those people I work with she told me, “Well, you tell them that I’m 80 years old and learned how to use the computer, so they should do it, too!” Lesson learned: you are NEVER too old to learn something new, age is never an excuse!

For Christmas one year when I was 9 or 10, I got a bedspread lovingly made by Grandma. I remember eagerly putting it on my bed that night and snuggling up under it. A few hours later, in a sleepy stupor, I awoke to my mom sitting on my bed and my dad hovering over her. They were whispering back and forth to the affect of, “I’ve almost got it”. I remember just closing my eyes and going back to sleep, I don’t even think they realize that I woke up for that short second. I had no clue what they were doing, but I learned the next morning…They were taking a straight pin out of the bedspread as I was wrapped up in it. As usual, she had left a pin in something she made for us. It was her signature. You rarely got a dress, blanket, shirt, any outfit that didn’t have a pin left in it somewhere. You would think that we would all eventually learn to look for those pins first, but we never learned. She hated that she did that, but we all loved it…it was her! It was her signature! Lessons learned: the best signatures are those unintentional ones. I know I’ll never look at a straight pin the same way.

Anyone who has talked to her in the past few years have gotten an earful of who should win, who should get kicked off next, and all the background drama of Dancing with the Stars. As with ice skating, it was a passion of hers. However, about two hospital stays ago, she was coming out of her sleepy state and very much NOT with it. So much so, the nurse who was caring for her felt so bad for her SHE was sneaking her ice chips that Grandma was not supposed to have…but she was just like an adorable child who, with her cute looks, could pretty much get whatever she wanted! At one point the TV was on and there was a commercial for Dancing with the Stars on and she turned to me and said, “I don’t care who wins.” During out dinner together in October, I teased her about that story as she was telling me about who she next wanted to be voted off. She emphatically told me that she most certainly DOES care! Lessons learned: No matter what anyone says, it apparently does matter who wins Dancing with the Stars.

I could go on about the many lessons she has taught me, like how stitching together things with love seems to make them last forever, because that blanket she left the pin in? Well, I still use it every night.

Or that a smile and wave from the window from your Grandma as you drive up, with a greeting at the door in anticipation of good news, is something that is worth more than anything and, I would give about anything to see that just one more time.

Or that having 4 first names in your life is just the right number.

Or perhaps that you should use your talents to bring good to the world as she made innumerable Teddy Bears for those who lost loved ones, just to bring a small smile to those who need it.

However, even in the last week, she has taught me one more, very important, lesson. I don’t think a person here doesn’t know my Grandma makes THE BEST Chocolate Chip cookies! She always had a supply in the cookie jar and if not there, you should check the freezer…and if not there you probably should check with my dad for their whereabouts. When I got married, I asked people to write down recipes for me and she, of course, gave me THE chocolate chip cookie recipe. I made an attempt at making them last weekend; I’m not sure why I never made them before, probably because I didn’t need to. She always had them and was not stingy about sharing them either!

So, there I was last week, making Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies. I followed her recipe to the LETTER! I mixed the shortening, sugars, vanilla, and chocolate chips right in and spooned them onto the baking sheets and placed them in the warm oven. When the timer went off I excitedly opened the oven door and pulled them out only to find that they were NOT like Grandmas! I mean…NOT…AT…ALL! I went back to the recipe and checked made sure I did EVERYTHING that it said…I did! Then I turned to the same recipe my mom had written for me…suspiciously her recipe had flour and baking soda in it. Yes, two ingredients that I should have known should be in there, but I was following the recipe! So, even now, she continues to teach me lessons…like apparently FLOUR is a secret ingredient; or maybe it’s just that NO ONE can make chocolate chip cookies like Grandma.

The most important lesson I’ve learned through it all, however, is that even though she’s not here with me anymore, apparently I’ll never be done learning from her.

I thank God that I had two years of dinner with her every week. I thank God that, after being laid off, I had an entire month to spend as much time as I could with her. I have no regrets.

But mostly, I thank God that I had her as my Grandmother.

Again, thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and support of me and my family during this time. I miss her already!

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 18:33:00 +0000

(Note: Even though it’s been a while since I posted, I am posting a picture every day of my Grandma until her memorial service, this is one of my favorite)

Yesterday (and the past week) have been super busy. Not in a bad way; just busy. I’ve pretty much been coming home, getting dinner made, eating, and then just doing nothing.

Today, I am watching Christmas movies, and getting things done that I’m not going to get done tomorrow…and writing a speech for Grandma’s memorial. I’ve written it, but I’m not sure I’m happy with it; then again, I may never be happy with it.

Tomorrow…well, that’s the memorial service. I’m counting on it being a long day. So, while there might be a post coming tomorrow, don’t count on it.

What are you doing this weekend?

Failed…oh well

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 04:24:00 +0000

(Note: through the rest of November I will be posting a picture of my grandmother on every post in her memory…I’m going to miss her. I already miss her. This one was taken on a trip to Sea World that The Husband and I took her to last summer. She had such a blast! I am so glad I got to enjoy the day with her, along with all the other times I spent with her)

Well, as you have figured by now, I have completely failed at NaBloPoMo this year…on every one of my blogs…but from November 12th I knew that would be a large probability.

I’m doing okay, just busy and, as usual when someone graduates from this life to the next, spending time in thought. I have committed myself (very gladly and it was my offer, actually my demand) to speak at her memorial service. Writing that speech has proven to be more of a challenge than I anticipated; but in a good way. There is so much I want to say.

On top of that, work has been busier than I anticipated when I first looked at the calendar…boy that thing fills up fast! I know that next year at this time things will still fill up, but they won’t be as time consuming having been through it already; this year, as the first year going through it, things have been a bit more challenging.

How are you doing?

The Countdown has Begun

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 03:43:00 +0000

(as a tribute to my Grandma, I am posting a picture of her on every post until her memorial service. This is one of her when she was a child; how adorable was she?)

What countdown? The Harry Potter countdown. I am going tomorrow night! Whoo hoo!

Why yes, I DO know that it doesn’t come out until Friday; HOWEVER, we got an awesome deal at work to go see it a day in advanced! YEAH!

My MIL and I are going to see it. I can’t wait! I almost can’t believe that this is the last book, second to last movie. I can’t wait to see it!

I also can’t wait to see my MIL’s reaction when she finds that I really haven’t been lying to her in regards to Dumbledore’s fate…what’s great is that she is convinced she knows what is going to happen even though she hasn’t read the books and she really thinks that I’m just kidding around with her.

I will probably be at work all day tomorrow itching for the time to move faster so I can leave, go home, and change, and get to the movies. I absolutely can’t wait!

What’s even a bit better? We won’t have to wait in a ridiculous line as we already have our tickets. We won’t have to wait ONE MORE NIGHT like everyone else.

I’m so excited! Can you tell?

Are you going to the Harry Potter movie? Are you as excited as I am? Have you ever been this excited for a movie? Which one?

Flipping Potatoes

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 04:19:00 +0000

(On a quick side note, I plan, as a tribute to my Grandma, to post her picture at the top of each post through the rest of November…I’m going to miss her and our fun times)

Totally on topic today, this is a picture I took the first night I cooked on my new Rachel Ray pots and pans:

It’s blurry because I am actually flipping the potatoes in the air to turn them and shake things up…I show you this because I CAN ACTUALLY FLIP MY POTATOES!

The last pans I had? I couldn’t do this because, well, they SUCKED! When you boil water for pasta and then the pasta actually sticks to the pot…that sucks!

Before I started cooking with the yuck pans, I had gotten pretty adept at flipping items in the pans. I got so good at it that I could actually flip a fried egg this way…kid you not!

I’m not one to brag but…oh, who am I kidding, I am one to brag. I know what I’m good at! Anyway, I could flip pretty much anything without using a spatula.

I plan to quickly get that talent back because (1) it’s fun (b) it’s a time saver (iii) it’s completely awesome and impressive and (four) come on, it’s just plain fun!

Of course, flipping food doesn’t work for things like scrambled eggs…but the spatulas would feel so lonely if they never got used and so, for those I still pull out the proper job.

In short, I am loving my new pans! I’m just wondering, anyone else have the flip and egg talent? What’s your favorite thing to cook for dinner?

I love what I do

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 04:08:00 +0000

I love my job.

I love what I do.

I love that on my way to my office every morning I am hit with no less than 3 toddler hugs.

I love that all morning, as I sit at my desk, sounds of childhood laughter float up through my windows and doors.

I love that as I walk around my department, I am greeted with more hugs, meaningful smiles, and opportunities to take a trip on a train, have a meal of cookies and coffee (I don’t drink coffee and it’s the most delicious coffee ever) and dance with a beanbag between my knees…all in the span of 1 minutes.

I come home from work and wonder, “How in the heck does the rest of the world do it? How do they enjoy their jobs even in the slightest little bit without all of this”

No more

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 05:43:00 +0000

Those eight bears up there are the last thing she made. (The bear on the end at the top, number 9, that was made for her and started the teddy bear making). My grandma made teddy bears out of clothes of people who had passed away. A way for families to have something tangible to hold onto from a loved one.

I think it’s symbiotic that this is the last she made. Eight bears for a family.

However, it was a bit bitter sweet as I watched the lady walk out with them today…the last thing she made, and not one of us gets to keep it. I’m sure there is a reason for that. There are so many things that we all have gotten in our life made by her hands. What’s one more?

She didn’t know it would be her last. There was nothing more special to her in these…but to me?

I just wanted that lady to say, “I know your pain, why don’t you just keep them.”

But that wouldn’t be fair to her and her family who are morning a loss in their family. It’s okay…it was meant to be…I’m not sure why, but it was. I’ll understand in time.

There will be no more things made by her hands.

There will be no more chocolate chip cookies.

There will be no more prom dresses.

There will be no more quilts.

There will be no more needles, left in some fold somewhere, that she forget to take out…oh she hated that she did that, but it was an unknown trademark of hers. I loved that about her.

And now…we move forward, remembering her, honoring her, and relishing in every memory that we have; and yes, we may need to cry a bit for those memories we won’t be able to make…but oh, to focus on those memories!

I still am in awe at how blessed I was these last two years. I made sure to make the most of every one of those moments I spent with her. I knew it was inevitable how it would end…and I made sure to make the most of each moment I had…I thank God for that opportunity and the knowledge He gave me in knowing that I needed to cherish every moment with her.

The Best Two Years

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 05:17:00 +0000

Those knitted squares are for a baby blanket. A baby blanket lovingly knitted by my Grandma. They are sitting right now waiting for her to learn how to crochet so she can sew them together. They are for a baby who hasn’t yet been created. A baby that is a dream in my mind for now. A baby that will never meet the person who so lovingly knitted these squares.

These knitted squares will be lovingly sewn together by someone else now.

This fabulous woman and I have had two years together that I thank God for. For the past two years, I have spent nearly every Tuesday night with having dinner, talking, laughing, and just being together. Until August when I got laid off.

I thank God for August because, had I not been laid off, I would never have been able to have full days of adventures with her.

My Grandma passed away Friday night. It was completely unexpected.

She had been in and out of the hospital so many times in the last year for so many more serious things. I fed her ice chips as she slowly regained consciousness from a very long and extended coma.

I wasn’t sure then if she would be leaving us then…she didn’t.

She stuck around for so much longer…this time, she was admitted for just a routine treatment…I stopped by with my mom Thursday night to see her and she was supposed to come home today…she looked great and, she should have, there really wasn’t anything to be concerned about.

I was shocked when I got a call Friday night, just 24 hours after I had last seen her…joked with her…telling me that she was gone.

What? How can she be gone? I’m not ready this time. I was ready the last time…not this time.

But I am so thankful for the last two years. I know she was, too. Her and I? We had so much fun together. We went to the fair and had her first every funnel cake! Her first! EVER! She loved it!

I loved being the one to be there with her and she it with her. I loved spending the day walking the fair with her. We had a blast!

She was always a hands-on grandma…she was a great grandma…and a great-grandma who was great! Always ready for a good time and a good playing around.

She got me…she really and truly got me and appreciated me and laughed at all my jokes…even the ones that no one else got.

I could tease her and she took it; never got mad or upset, she just smiled and laughed. Oh, and she would tease back.

We had our routines on Tuesday nights. I’d knock on the door and she’d tell me I don’t have to knock…I know, I just do! She’d had dinner ready and waiting. I’d get out the TV trays and set them up, she’d get the dinner served.

We’d sit, eat, talk, and just be together.

Then we’d do dishes together…she’d wash, I’d dry.

I’d fix something on her computer, she’d show me the newest bear she was sewing for someone who had lost a family member through hospice, she’d show me the latest doll clothes she was making for the great-grandchildren, we’d talk, look at pictures, and laugh.

Then, at 7, she’d turn on Judge Judy. Oh we had so much fun laughing at the fools on that show. I’ll never watch the show the same ever again. Sometime during that time, my aunt would call…she’d always forget it was Tuesday until Grandma answered then, remembering, she’d quickly get off the phone and we’d continue laughing.

At 7:56, Judge Judy would be over and I’d leave…usually with something that I didn’t come with (oranges,leftovers from dinner, the occasional kitchen gadget that she had replaced with something new for herself).

We called her Mama…well, most of us…that’s who she was. I don’t know when, but sometime in High School I started calling her grandma…I wanted to be different. I wanted her to know it was me no matter what.

A while back, when The Husband and I were there for dinner, as we were leaving he called her Grandma…she stopped him and told him she was Mama…I had/have to smile because she never corrected me and commented on it as well. She let me be different…she got it!

I thank God that I got laid off. I got to take her to Coronado for the day.

She hadn’t been there since she was pregnant with her youngest daughter.

I got to go with her to Barona, go to the movies, have lunch at her favorite restaurant, and go to the fair (although that was before I got laid off, but it was in that same time frame.

I am so glad for all the memories I have with her. She was there with me when I went to my first Homecoming. She made all but one of my dresses for all my high school dances.

She was a sewer, a knitter, a crafter, and just so talented. She came to my dance recitals, loved to watch ice skating, and loved to watch Dancing with the Stars. I have great memories of her to take me through the rest of my life…

It’s not those memories that make me sad that she’s not here…it’s the ones that she won’t be here for. I’m sad because she won’t be there to see my babies wrapped in the blanket that she lovingly knitted for them. I’m going to miss that…

She was a GREAT Grandma…and I am blessed that I got to make so many memories with her.

Merry Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 04:40:00 +0000

Last year for Christmas my parents bought me an awesome set of pots and pans that I was so excited about…they are a set of cookware that I should have been able to use for the rest of my life with no problem.

The problem? Well, it’s a long story but in a nutshell, everything sticks to them, they are a less quality product than the typical for that company, and the only thing they will do is exchange them for THE EXACT SAME SET which has a 100% probability that I will have the same problem with them…so we will be returning them and, in the mean time, they were very kind and generous enough to get me this years present early…a Rachel Ray set of adonized pots and pans.

I have to say, this is the only thing in my kitchen allowed to NOT have a red theme…they are orange…they don’t come in red.

THESE pots and pans got all 4 and 5 star reviews (and there are more than 230) on amazon and the set that had 4 more items in it had only two 3 star reviews and those were: (1) They do what they say they do; and (2) I bought these used and a piece came to me broken and doesn’t work properly

So, I figure with (1) that unless these things cooked by themselves, which would be MORE than what the product says it does, then in that person’s view, there is no reason to give more than an “average” score.

I take into consideration that the person bought these USED…and probably the person before her (actually obviously as a piece was broken) didn’t use them properly and could be why they don’t work well for her; plus in her review she indicated that the rest of the set works perfectly!

My husband’s cousin also has a set and she loves them!

Lastly, although Rachel Ray is not my favorite tv personality, I do know that the quality of what her name is put onto is very important to her and everything I’ve heard, these pots and pans stand true to that.

So, although I have not yet cooked with them (I mean, come on, it wasn’t until after 7:30 tonight that I got home and I am so not going to make something this late…I mean, I have to weigh in tomorrow morning.

However, tomorrow night? I am so breaking in these new pots and pans.

Anyone have this set? What do you think of them? Ever got a set of cookware that was supposed to be great and ended up sorely disappointed?

There’s a stripper in our house

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 04:14:00 +0000

No, not me…I would never be a stripper; I just couldn’t do that. I’d end up way too embarrassed.

It’s not my husband either.

Nope, the stripper in our house is that guy pictured above…can you see it?

Every once in a while we’ll look over at him and he’ll be ashy in color…not as bright as usual. If you look away too quickly (meaning the next day while we are at work or as we sleep in the night) he suddenly brightens up again.

Oh, we know why, we just rarely get to witness the in-between stage because it goes quickly…and there is no evidence behind.

Here’s what I’ve learned about Geckos in owning and taking care of one: they shed their skin (as most reptiles do) but the Geckos actually EAT their skin! There is nothing left behind.

The Husband was disappointed that he didn’t get to keep the skin to take to work and show the kids; but I am glad that’s just one less thing that I need to clean up after!

He actually eats it right off of himself! It’s kind of cool to watch. I’ve read that no one really knows for sure about why they do this, but there is a theory that it is for nutritional purposes. Who cares? It’s fun to watch!

The last time we went through this process I didn’t see the beginning or middle of the process, I just saw him with his foot in his mouth and really began to worry because it seemed like he was pulling on his toes…like REALLY worried! Like “Do we need to take him to a vet” worried…until I got closer (like right in front of his tank), then a sigh of relief as I saw just the last bits of skin between his toes.

Although, there again I had to worry a bit because Geckos have lost toes in the skinning process if they don’t get it all off the old skin can cut of circulation to the toes…not to worry, Zach still has all his toes!

He also is nice and bright again! You can leave your dollars in his cage if you want…he doesn’t have a string bikini to slide them into. Heck, he’ll even dance on his back feet for you if you open the top of his cage!

Earning what you get

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 03:46:00 +0000

I had a light bulb moment the other day. You know, a moment when I thought, “Yes! Exactly! Next time someone tries to argue that point with me, I now know what I’m going to say!”

I have long been arguing against giving high school diplomas to those who don’t deserve it. What I mean is, there are some people because they are “special” or “challenged” or just not able to do the work who get to graduate and get a diploma because “they did their best”.

I think this is completely wrong! I think that if you get a high school diploma you must EARN it! Now, I got in a animated discussion one time over this because it came up about a student who had been very ill for her senior year. While she made every attempt at completing her courses, she ended the year more than a full semester behind in her work. This was NOT something that she would catch up in just a summer…it was going to be something that she would basically have to repeat her senior year.

Because of her health, they graduated her anyway…not even an honorary walk until you finish the work…nope, just here’s your diploma.

Here’s my problem with that…YOU DIDN’T EARN IT!!!

Yes, my heart goes out to the horrible circumstances. I feel for those people who just don’t have it to earn that degree. I do! But don’t cheapen my degree by handing it out to just anyone!

So, my ah-ha, light bulb, moment? I was making a copy of my CPR/1st aid card for work. Could you imagine if they gave those out just because a person showed up? I mean, seriously? If you can’t show that you have learned the proper techniques, you don’t get a card.

Could you imagine if they just handed it out because “well, you tried your hardest.”?

How about the medical degree? The good old doctor you are trusting your life to…well, he gave it his best shot so we gave him the degree anyway.

Sure, a high school degree is in no way up there with a medical degree…but handing it out like Halloween candy, where you just have to show up and stick out your hand, just cheapens all the hard work that everyone else puts into it. It makes that degree worthless…

Some people just aren’t meant to accomplish some things.

I watched a client the other day celebrate HUGE because she passed her GED. She worked her a** off studying, doing the work, and passing that test on her own merit. It took her years to do it and I would never take that moment away from her…but what would happen if we handed that out left and right, it would never have been such a big deal.

No, it’s about time that we stop handing things out that should be EARNED…you should have to EARN it!

No Beauty

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 04:18:00 +0000

That face my be no beauty, but he has captured my love…I’m not kidding!

How can you not love a face like that? Substrate all over his nose from digging in a whole…look of admiration on his face because he knows that my presence just might mean food…and you should see the excitement when we open the top to drop in some crickets!

Okay, so he loves us for our food…but I love him because he is adorable!

THAT is a face that doesn’t call for immediate love…but it is a face you grow to love.

Plus, it’s just fascinating to watch him and to study every little detail. The shape of his face, the way the light comes through in the bright sun, the way the hands move as he climbs…I could stare at him for hours!

I never thought I would be a reptile lover; but this guy has changed me.

Oh, I don’t love ALL the reptiles, but geckos? And probably other small lizards as well.

You can keep your snakes and large lizards…and although I appreciate turtles, I’ll leave them to my BFF…but Geckos are awesome!

Go ahead, tell me how cute that face is!

Aaaaaaannnnnnnd GO!

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 02:29:00 +0000

That’s what I feel like is about to happen to the end of the year. Does it feel like it’s is no longer creeping up but quickly coming to a slamming stop?

No, really, that’s what I feel like. I mean, do you realize it is already November 7th?!?

Usually by this time I have my Christmas cards ready to go…well, at least the list of cards I’m sending is ready and the cards are signed and probably addressed; then it’s just a matter of writing a personal note in each one.

What?

Oh yes, I do HAND WRITE a personal message in each and every card I send…I hate those printed letters, not everyone cares about everything! Every message I write is completely different than the next because different people have different roles in our lives and not everyone wants a details account of every move we made this year!

I have to order my Thanksgiving box by Friday! That’s insane! (I ordered it last year and loved it, it has a large turkey, fresh green beans, sweet potatoes, and all the other things you need to make a good dinner…it makes a HEALTHY dinner and not too much but the perfect amount all for less than $40! It even has a pumpkin pie in it!)

Things are somewhat calm at work, but I know for a fact that starting gun is about to go off any minute now! I mean, I work in a homeless shelter where people LOVE to donate things and events…to children…did I mention I run the children’s program? Yeah…it’s going to be a busy time…but good!

I can feel it coming up very quickly…do you feel it?

Count Down

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 05:40:00 +0000

Guess what I did today?

Not enough of a clue? How about this:

My MIL and I had a Harry Potter movie marathon…we made it through 4 movies and will watch the last two next Saturday.

Which really works out well because then we go the following week (the day before the movie is available to the public) to see the new one. SO EXCITED!

Have I mentioned that I have read these books more than 5 times each? I meant to get them read through before the new movie came out again, but that just didn’t happen. It snuck up on me way too fast and there is no way that I can read them all that quickly. I may pull out the last one just because that’s the movie that’s coming out…but no promises.

Now I’m really tired and going to bed…more tomorrow.

My Day

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 03:48:00 +0000

5:30 alarm goes off

5:45 get up, find weigh in clothes and get dressed; pack work clothes in a bag

6:00 go downstairs, pack bag for snacks, and head out the door

6:20 get to Weight Watchers, weigh in, change clothes to work clothes in the bathroom

6:30 wait for meeting to actually start and eat a breakfast bar and drink my milk for the day

7:00 leave meeting to go to work

7:20 arrive at work and park (it only takes a long time because the spaces are so SMALL and it takes time and patience to park without ruining the paint job on my car

7:30 head up to the center and stop to play with the kids for a bit

7:45 get to office and check emails

8:00 work, what else would I do? Lots of paperwork this time of year

9:30 meet with staff member who works for me and discuss plans to change and improve program

10:30 get Excursion keys to go shopping for the center

10:45 arrive at Home Office to pick up credit cards will need to shop for the day…realize that I really don’t like driving the Excursion in places that I’m going to have to park in small spaces…

11:15 arrive at first shopping location…a teacher’s toy store…no really, it’s a preschool/teacher supply store. I could spend hours in there…oh, yeah, I DID…see

12:50 finish shopping AND checking out. Let me tell you, this store? NOT that big! I had a LOT of things to purchase…nearly $1,000 worth! No, really…glad it’s not actually my money…but it wasn’t wasteful spending, that’s for sure…all necessary items…I don’t buy it unless it’s necessary. When our program triples next year I’m afraid of what the spending will look like…or what my shopping days will look like! YIKES!

1:00 finish loading the Excursion with shopping, get in car and realize it’s ONE O’CLOCK and I still have to stop at WalMart and I am supposed to be in a meeting at 2!!! SO not happening…call up the other meeting people and ask to push the time to 2:30 if possible

1:10 hang up the phone and wonder how in the heck I think I’ll be able to get back in time for the now 2:30 meeting and figure I better step on it…realize the Excursion? Not much for stepping on it…

1:20 arrive at WalMart for my super-speed shopping trip. Realize that somewhere between the toy shopping and WalMart I have LOST MY PEN! Quickly tear the vehicle apart to find a pen and there is NONE to be found! Crud, now I have a HUGE shopping list and no pen to mark things off and I want to go turbo speed…this should be interesting…

1:50 get in line at the shortest line and quickly realize I am in the S L O W E S T checker’s line…kid you not! Plus my order is never simple because of payment on a company account and all that…ugh!

2:00 load up the Excursion with all the WalMart things

2:10 arrive at Home Office to drop off the credit cards

2:20 arrive at the center and, after assuring that car is super locked, leave all the new things locked away and run up to my office for a meeting that I’m hosting…note, it takes about 10 minutes to get from the garage to my office…

2:28 Scarf down an apple from my refrigerator and chug a bottle of water

2:30 Meeting

3:30 meeting ends, get the cart and take it down to the garage to load it up with all the supplies I just bought

4:00 get supplies to an empty classroom, realize that it will quickly be used so I better work fast and begin sorting all the supplies according to classroom and program

4:30 deliver items to different classrooms and programs

4:40 Heading home! Call the husband with the idea of “hey honey, why don’t I pick up a boring, not that great, pizza for $5 because I’m too tired to cook right now and I am STARVING”…he doesn’t answer

4:42 Husband calls back and before I say anything, says, “Hey I was thinking of asking N to meet us at Bollweivel for dinner, what do you think?” (or something to that affect)…my response? “OMG I love you so much because I am so not cooking tonight and that is so much better than $5 pizza!” (That was almost word for word what I said…or how it sounded in my head, I may have been too weak to actually get the words out…did you notice no food all day except for the breakfast snack and the apple I scarffed down?)

5:00 arrive home, change and sit and relax for a bit

5:30 go to dinner

7:00 home…relaxing…ah, the weekend!

Now, I sit here blogging my day because that’s what I got for you! It was a long exhausting day! I scheduled myself for 2 hours of shopping…it took 4! Next time I’m still planning on 2 or less. Why? Because I found out the supply place I shopped at will let me fax my order in the day before and they’ll get it all together for me…all I have to do is pick it up…no charge!

Second, I saw that I can order WalMart on line and have it shipped to the local store for no shipping cost…I can on line order and just pick it up and pay for it!

Shopping is going to get so easy for me now! LOVE IT!

So, how was your day?

Head in the Clouds

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:27:00 +0000

Last month, for my 365 project, I chose the sky to be the theme and took a picture of the sky every single day…now? I can’t help but keep looking at the sky and continue taking picture.

This morning when I walked outside to go to work, I had to stop and look at the scene…it was a gorgeous pink sky this morning. This picture above does NOT do it justice! It was so beautiful!

I find myself constantly staring at the sky in amazement at it’s beauty, it’s every changing, and just wonder about the clouds that are up there.

Yep, last month caused me to keep my head in the clouds!

What’s your favorite sky? Cloudy, clear blue, stormy, what?

We…Are…Screwed!

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 02:21:00 +0000

Yep, we are screwed in California. It seems that the rest of this country figured out that in order to get this country back on track is to elect those who are going to get the job done…but here in California? Nope! We haven’t figured that out yet.

We think that things are going to be better by having the legislature be able to pass the budget with a SIMPLE MAJORITY!!! You know that every year there has been a budget impasse it’s because we have a few strong members refuse to pass the budget because of the need to raise our taxes and fees…if we had a simple majority those years, we would be paying even more in taxes than we are now!

Did you know that we are the highest taxed state?

Did you know that we are the top 10 money given to schools and THE LOWEST performing schools in the country? How backwards is that?

Why? Because they don’t need more MONEY…they need the money to actually make it into the classrooms and not in spending BILLIONS of dollars on building the school…that includes MILLION DOLLAR SCULPTURES at the front of the school.

Seriously! There are schools that have wasted millions of dollars on sculptures, then have the audacity to tell us they don’t get enough money…maybe if they spend that money on BOOKS and LEARNING MATERIAL!

Did you know that children are supposed to be provided with EVERYTHING they NEED to learn. This includes pencils, paper, books, pens, etc… Why do families need to shop for school supplies every year? Because the money gets misspent and there is not enough money for pencils!

Really, they know that parents will buy them, people will donate them, so why waste money on that when the administrators can have three secretaries and send the teachers on $10,000 trips to Hawaii! (kid you not, and once they were called out on it, suddenly the trip was cancelled…fishy?)

Did you know that people with the EBT card that replaced food stamps can actually use those cards IN VEGAS…AT CASINOS?!?!

All this has been going on with my tax money…that will go on until Californians finally get smart…

WE…ARE….SO….SCREWED!!!

The Lesser of Two Evils…

noreply@blogger.com (Jenni) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 02:38:00 +0000

…is still evil, right?

Today, as many of you know, was election day. I proudly took part in my right at a citizen…as a proud citizen of this country, I get to take part in the true American process…if you want to participate, become a citizen!

This election, however, was a difficult one for me. We had a horrible choice of who to choose for Governor. We had a choice between a person who, years ago, was Governor and failed miserably and wants to do it all over again…then the other side was a person who is totally full of herself and I don’t believe a word out of her mouth and think that she would just run this state further into the ground.

I looked at the other parties to see if I could support one of them…NOPE!

Then there was the pressure…if you don’t want choice A, you HAVE to vote choice B because B is the lesser of the two evils and we absolutely do NOT want A and then you’ll at least prevent one of the evils.

I have fallen for that line of logic before and we ended up with the Governator…good old Arnold…who has completely contributed further to ruining this fine sate…choice B totally reminded me of him…I already tried that vote and I so wasn’t happy with it last time.

This time, I said I just couldn’t go through with it. I just couldn’t put a mark next to the candidate that was the “lesser of two evils” because they are both evil choices! I just couldn’t in good conscience put a mark next to either of them.

Fast forward to this morning at 7am, there I am, standing at a cardboard pedestal with my ballot in front of me, a black marker in my left hand, and a decision to make…will I make that mark?

Hm, still not completely sure…I’ll come back to that one. I went through all the other offices, went through the judges, went through the propositions, and every one of those marks were VERY easy for me to make…back to number 1…Governor…

My hand hovered…I took a deep breath…I closed the pen, put my ballot in the protective covering, and walked it up to the box…with no mark for Governor…the lesser of two evils?

How do I choose between the lesser of two evils when they are both equally evil? I don’t trust one to think in our best interest as he has proved in the past to be a horrible choice…I don’t trust the other because I can’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth…I don’t like where either of them stand on any of the important issues…

I can’t choose between those two evils…can we have a do over and pick two different candidates for Governor? I’m just saying…

(note: I don’t mean evil in the horribly strong sense of the word, I only mean evil in the spirit of the phrase “the lesser of two evils”…I do not in any way that either of them are actually evil, I just think that neither one of them is the right choice for my state).