Nerdventures!

The Great French Fry Debate: An Epic

2011-10-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

It started as a joke. Much like it always does.

Our current Sunday ritual stands as this: Over the course of the morning, Kevin, Andy and I will rouse ourselves from sleep at some point before 1PM. Why? Well we need to set our Fantasy Football line-ups don't we? Jon is usually already over by the time the pre-game shows are on. As we re-cap our Saturday nights, and weep for our fallen comrades from the night before, the TV tantalizes us with advertisements of delectable, greasy goodness. Jake is usually somewhere doing something, typically Clockey related activities. This past week, after Jon had left to go enjoy the games on DirecTV, the three of us remaining languished in that subtle state between lethargy and boredom. In prior weeks, Kevin's jests had spurred expeditions to Taco Bell, and KFC. Kevin and AG pioneered the Taco Bell trip, and I joined up during KFC but this... This was a whole new frontier.

Kevin said something eloquent, and thought provoking, along the lines of, "Kid, Whoppers?" to which Andy and myself both laughed. "Alright, Big Macs," was the response. "Nah, man. Nah," Andy concluded. However by the time the 7th or 8th Burger King commercial came on, our pallets were sufficiently whetted.

"Okay. Burger King then McDonald's at the end of the First Quarter." Andy threw down the gauntlet, to which an excited Kevin replied, "Nice." I nodded fearing the worst was to come. As the first quarter of the football game hit 00:00, the boys and I rallied, grabbing wallets, phones and keys, exiting the apartment, sealing our fate.

We joked about how fat we were on our way out. We talked about how fun this was going to be. We went to the supermarket, grabbing groceries for a five layer dip for later, as well as a large pepperoni pizza for a mere $6.49. The jokes continued.

Burger King. Andy pulled up to the drive-thru. The game was afoot. We quickly vetoed this idea, opting to go inside and order. Entering this grim establishment, we were greeted by a man who had forgotten his money in the car, trying to pay for him and his son's meals. We debated options on the menu as the man ran to the car. Returning, he payed for a 12 dollar meal with a hundred dollar bill. Working as a cashier myself when someone pays with an a hundred dollar bill there's a subtle sense of, "This guy paid with an 100 dollar bill oh snap I gotta step up my game." The guy panicked. He was jumbling around 20's and 5's and his manager eventually had to come around and figure it out for him. As a natural defense mechanism, the guy made a joke. Who wouldn't? "Hey I failed math in high school!" Kev, AG and I smiled that kinda nice save/pity smile, but the guy in front of us nailed him with, "That's why you work at Burger King!"

Our faces slackened. Jaws: Dropped. Did he really just say that? I mean, some people in the depths of their mind might think that but we have standards, decency! We were shell-shocked. The Manager tried to save it, by saying that BK hired college level employees now, but the damage was done. The cashier took our orders then slinked away, busying himself until the guy left. It was brutal. Also: Andy had never had never had a Coke ICEE. I know right? Well Kevin quickly remedied that. I grabbed a crown, we grabbed our food, and we were off. I gave the other two a fry each. "Who's got the best fries?" I asked, to which we all had different answers. We argued a bit, laughing it off.

But wait... "We're already going to BK and McDonald's... Wendy's?" one of us propounded. We all nodded determinedly. Game on. Next stop: McDonald's. Cheaper than BK, twice the people working, same wait time. We all tried the fries. We zigged, we zagged, we made our way to Wendy's. Of course we all got more food, and more fries. Let's be honest, Wendy's stepped their game up with the sea salt on their fries. The decision was made. Wendy's was most certainly the victor, but this time, it was to the Debaters who went the spoils.

Making our way home, neighbors were shocked, and disgusted at the debasing task we had put ahead of ourselves. We finally entered our apartment, and laid out our treasures across our feasting table. This picture was the damage.

We collected our food, and I said Grace.

"Dear Lord in Heaven, Thank you for this meal in front of us. And If we die, Know! It was worth it."

"Amen."

What happened next can not be put into words. I will say this. There was great suffering that day. There were no more jokes made. Nobody was happy. No one thought it was fun. The Great French Fry Debate had been settled. But at what cost?

In Memoriam: Kevin, Andy and Jim's collective health.
Requiescat in Pace

Paying Attention in Class

2011-10-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

Almost 2 years ago I wrote this blog, about multi-tasking and not paying attention in class. I maintain that paying attention in class is my prerogative. But having just got singled out for not paying attention in a lecture of exponentially dwindling numbers, I'm gonna talk about it again.

I'll set the stage. In order to finish out our Global Education requirements for the School of Social and Behavioral sciences, Jake and I are taking a History class. The class is about everyone's favorite topic: World War I. What's that? Nobody cares about World War I, and everybody is interested in World War II? Oh yes, that's right.

Now, when we signed up for the class, it turned out that a whole other group of people we knew were going to be taking the class as well. Good sign for the class! The teacher of the class got a 4.6/5 on RateMyProfessor. Good sign for the class! It's a lecture. Good sign for the class!

So when we showed up Day 1, and it was a lecture, our friends were there, and we saw that there was indeed a professor, we thought we were batting a thousand. Boy were we wrong. The professor was actually a visiting professor from the University of Minnesota or something, and his teaching style involves him standing at the pulpit, going on about World War I, consulting a page, with a map on one of the old school projectors. Did I mention he loves reading us World War I poetry? Cause he does!

Anyway, Jake and I decide, "Alright. We'll stick it out. Maybe it'll get better once the actual war starts?" Well it didn't. Hell that other group of kids I was talking about? Yeah. They dropped the class. I wish we'd joined them. Now the once full lecture hall has dwindled to about one person every 3 or 4 seats. So us even showing up to class is some kind of miracle from the teaching gods. There's absolutely no way to take notes, because he talks and talks and talks and talks, about random people or battles that you're expected to know. The topography, the socioeconomic implications, the politics; he might honestly believe that he's lecturing to a class filled with other World War I professors.

So the fact that we're here should give us some kind of pass right? Well apparently the fact I'm on my laptop, and Jake looked over to see what I was looking at is some kind of crime against the professor. Jake looks over for arguably 2 or 3 seconds, and our professor goes, "HEY! You two in the back! What's going on?!" Was he really calling us out? Really Bro? We decide to come and sit through your lecture that sans laptop would arguably bore me to death, and you're going to call us out for sitting, minding our own business not paying attention. That's how it's going down. Okay. Great.

If we're not yelling or throwing things, and just sitting there minding our own business, not paying attention, you leave us the hell alone. College is a time where going to class and paying attention is up to the student. I'm here at least. If you want us to pay attention make your lecture more interesting. Stop talking about the romanticism of one soldier from Britain who was in battles X,Y, and Z, and kept a diary, and talk about a battle. Talk about something that will catch my attention. The turning point in the war. Anything! I mean I realize that there was 4 years of stalemate due to trench warfare. But I had to find that out from Wikipedia, because I couldn't listen to you longer than to realize you were talking about something that might make my IQ lower if I kept on listening.

All I'm saying is that we had the decency to come to this awful class, my last class of the week, and you are going to call me out for minding my own business? Go back to Minnesota or wherever you came from. This class sucks.

Editors Note: On Thursday, October 20th, Jim and Jake dropped that class like a bad habit, ate a victory dinner, celebrated and slept like babies. Everyone cheered.

I'm Writing Something Gorram it!

2011-10-08T17:45:00.000-07:00

I have been slacking. Yes. I admit this. I apologize. I've been mad busy! See what I did there! Italics! For emphasis! Anywho, what's up guys? How's it been? Good? Good.

With that out of the way, lets move on to more pressing matters. Television is addictive. Over the summer I had at least one show every night of the week, with the exception of Saturday. We had good ol' TNT Sundays, Syfy Mondays, USA Tuesdays, Franklin & Bash on Wednesdays, Suits on Thursdays, and Haven on Fridays. "Wow Jim, you watch a lot of TV!" Yeah. I know. Thanks. But I mean Wow! Someone somewhere decided to step up their game this summer. New series like Franklin & Bash, Falling Skies and especially Suits and Alphas (both of which I got Kevin hooked on) all were just top-shelf stuff. Plus the return contenders like White Collar, Covert Affairs, Leverage, Eureka, Warehouse 13 and Haven all had solid seasons.

So maybe it's just me, but I really get into TV shows. I was listening to a podcast as I drove home today for the long weekend, and they said that the reason the mainstream public is into the whole Kardashian, reality show idiocracy is because they can't get into a great television show. You know, something that really takes them out of it. Some of these shows, I watch them and I just get caught up. What's gonna happen next? I don't know. Or maybe I do? But these people are story tellers, and they are damn good at it.

As for what's coming up, you got the perennial classics How I Met Your Mother, House, Psych, SVU, Chuck, Parks & Recreation, Community, The Walking Dead, Sanctuary, and the second half of Covert Affairs as well as some new guys like Terra Nova, Grimm, and Once Upon A Time, all of which have my interests piqued. I'm also getting the Dexter and Breaking Bad vibe going. Which is interesting.

So basically, I'm a TV snob, and even though I didn't mean to write a blog about my unusual TV habits, but here it is. Maybe this is a step in the right direction? Here we go Jim! You can do it! Go team! If you've got some show that I'm not watching that I should be, or some other comment on my wide variety of legal/cop/sci-fi shows, let me know!

Wow. Have I Been Slacking or What?

2011-05-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

"Jim! What the hell? You haven't posted a blog in forever!"

Yes. I hear you. MY BAD. But I've been caught up in this whole thing called Life. I mean living in an apartment with 3 or 4 (depends what day it is,) of your best friends doesn't exactly leave you with a lot of free time to write about nonsensical things... I mean. I turned 21! I'm about to be a senior in college! I don't know how to manage my time! But I guess now that school is done, maybe I'll have more time to write. OH WAIT.

I'm working 40 hours a week at the Garden Center, interning at RunKeeper in Boston, and trying to maintain what little social life I claim to have!

Basically what I'm saying here is; Nerdventures, I love you, but right now, you're on the back burner. Frowny face, I know. But life is coming at me pretty fast right now. I'm getting home from work, and it takes pretty much all of what little energy I have left to not go to bed. On the bright side, I've slept better in the last 2 weeks than I did the last 6 months at school! Aside from that, the only things I've got going for me right now are the Bruins and my sweet, sweet playoff beard. I've been reading a lot of books. Been watching 30 Rock too. As I type even! Radio's been going pretty swell. Kevin and I added our good friend and my former trainee, Noel to our hosting staff, and I got the DJ Training Director gig. All in all, life is pretty good. Busy, fast, dirty, but good. (What I work at the Garden Center, I just scraped dirt out from under my nails!)

So here's to you Nerdventures. Two years old. This was a very unproductive year in terms of blogging, but for writing on the whole, my 58 page screenplay nods it's approval. I'll try and write more, honest.

Much love.

James

PAX East 2011: 3 Days of Awesome

2011-03-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

After a week of meditation and recovery, I finally can regale you with the awesomeness that was Penny Arcade Expo East 2011. Now, if you remember reading my two posts from last year, you'll remember the generalities and the basics of the convention, like who Penny Arcade is, my compatriot Beckett (@beckettnoyes), and the amazingness of it all.

Well, just to get this out of the way early, this year's convention was even better. First of all, Beckett and I committed to going to all three days of the show, instead of just one day. This was so clutch, in that even though we were trying to scurry from place to place on our first day trying to see everything, we knew that we still had two more days to double back. This also allowed us to see the Friday Night Concert as well, which consisted of The Protomen, MC Frontalot and Metroid Metal. The Protomen, a group whose songs are based loosely off the tale of Megaman, had their amps turned all the way up to 11. It was a good thing that the Enforcers, the volunteer security force of PAX, were handing out earplugs because if I didn't have those, I am pretty sure I would have gone deaf. They are essentially a metal band, so there was shredding and general ear exploding done on their part, which I might have liked a little bit better if they weren't so loud. MC Frontalot on the other hand was pretty awesome. Being a nerdcore rapper, as only he can be, he covered topics like Xenobiology, Goth Girls, Diseases, Star Wars, and then song a remix of the Penny Arcade Theme Song, like he does every year, this time to a backing track of Katy Perry's California Gurls. It was Amazing.

After that, we decided to skip out on Metroid Metal, as we weren't really feeling like getting our ears assaulted again, and we made the long trek back home to get 3 and a half hours of sleep, before getting up and making the trek back to Boston. At this point, I should also mention that due to the overwhelming success of last year's inaugural PAX East, this year the convention was moved from the Hynes Convention Center to the much larger Boston Convention & Exhibition Center. With a total attendance of 69,500 people over the three days, the place was packed.

Yours truly at the top of the escalator down to the show floor, and the show floor itself.

Day 2 was a lot of the same, running, gunning. There was this year's Make-A-Strip panel, where Mike and Jerry script and draw the comic strip for that Monday, as well as a lot more exploring and buying merchandise from booths. But we also took some time out to wait in line for the exclusive Portal 2 preview, as well as wait and play a game of Dungeons & Dragons for beginners. Can't even lie to you, it was a great time. And if you're thinking, "Why is Dungeons & Dragons at a video game convention?" Well it is because PAX is more of a nerd convention than a video game convention. While yes, a lot of it focuses on the new hot video games, there's also a huge portion dedicated to tabletop games like Magic The Gathering and D&D. While waiting in line for the Friday Night Concert, the kids behind Beckett and me invited us to play a game called Munchkins. It was actually pretty cool and it was just one of many indie card and dice games represented at PAX. Once again, that night's festivities included the 3rd Round of the Omegathon and the Saturday Night Concert. This year's 3rd Round of the Omegathon was THE MOST EPIC GAME OF JENGA EVER PLAYED. There is absolutely no way a more intense game of Jenga has ever been played. Two sets of Four Two person teams competed against each other with "Omegablocks" instead of the little baby blocks regular people play with. Only allowed to use one hand at a time, the first game was incredible. As was the second game. Words can not describe how the tremors literally shook one girl's arm to the point where it was visible from the back of the theater, and then how much applause she got when she successfully freed and replaced the block from the tower. Simply incredible.

An Omeganaut in the midst of a pull while other Omeganauts watch with bated breath in the background.

Following that intensity, the Saturday Night Concert of Video Game Orchestra, Paul & Storm, and Jonathan Coulton reprised their roles from last year's concert. Video Game Orchestra and Paul & Storm played a lot of the same stuff, with some new stuff, and overall were just as good if not better than last year. Jonathan Coulton on the other hand, as opposed to last year's acoustic set, this year he came out on an electric guitar with a bassist and a drummer. He played rock versions of a lot of his hits, as well as some new songs from his upcoming CD which sounds like it should be pretty good.

After Jonathan Coulton finished his set at about 2AM, Beckett and I walked from the Convention Center to Cambridge. It's about a three and a half mile walk. And then with the time change, it ended up being about 4:30 in the morning before we got to my sister's place where we crashed for the evening. Getting about 3 hours of sleep, Beckett and I made our final trek back to the Convention Center the next morning, waiting to see Bill Amend, creator of newspaper comic section favorite, FoxTrot. Then the day just flew by, and after waiting for about an hour for a 20 minute demo of L.A. Noire, we got in line about 2 hours early for the closing ceremony, where the final round of the Omegathon played out in a two on two match up of the crazy game Ikaruga. After that Mike and Jerry said their thank you's and goodbyes, and PAX was concluded.

As I said last year, PAX isn't for everyone but for three days out of the year, I can let my freak flag fly. I fully intend on going next year, and every year because at PAX you can do no wrong if you follow the cardinal rule: Don't be a dick. Clearly I skimmed over a lot, like the QR code quest, and playing the Nintendo 3DS, but just know that for 72 hours, I had one of the best times of the year. If you think you want to, or can handle the intense nerdism, I encourage you heartily to try it. I'll be back for three days next year, and if you'd like to join me on one or more, do yourself a favor and do it.

If you want to find out more, check out my pictures on Facebook, my Twitter, or my videos on YouTube. If you can't see the pictures from this post check out the full post here.

Helpful Hints Vol. 2: How to Erase Your 7 Page Paper and Still Not Erase It

2011-02-24T12:16:00.000-08:00

Let me take you back about 12 hours now.

A young man has been working on a 5 page research paper with an annotated bibliography for about 7 hours. He has been killing it. He's drank a Monster, and he doesn't even know what Facebook is. When he's not typing away listening to classical music, he's on Google Books, reading research.

That's it. He's finished. It's a miracle! All that's left to do is copy and paste the bibliography from one word document into the other, and it's a done deal! 3:40 AM? Not bad at all.

But wait! It's 3:40 AM! He confuses one document for another! He closes a document... NO! Sweet baby Jesus; No! What has he done!? All his work! His research! His paragraphs! His footnotes! WHY!?!?!?!

Hi, my name is Jim Redding. That young man was me. I know what you're saying to yourself. "How're you still alive? How did you re-write your paper? What gave you the mental fortitude?" True, there was about 20 solid minutes there where I was absolutely convinced that I had one option: my untimely demise. But let me walk you through the 4 Steps of Post-Deletion Grief, or PDG as I believe the clinical term is called.

Step 1: Disbelief.

No way. I definitely saved it. I had to have. Right? Everyone saves right?.There's no way I didn't save it. NO. I know! I'll just turn off the computer, open Word, and it'll be there waiting!

It should be noted that it took me a solid 20 minutes with my head pounding on my table to get my computer back up. 1st time I restarted it, it tried to check my disk. There was absolutely no time for those shenanigans. Also, it helps if you pray to RoboJesus. I did. Jesus just wasn't cutting it. I mean really, what does he know about computers? He's a carpenter.

Step 2: Anger

It's not there. I opened Word, and it's not there. !@#$%^&^%$#%$#@#$%$#@#$%$#@!@#$%^$#@!@#$#@$%$# THIS IS ^%$#@%^%#@$%^%$#@#$#$#@#$%$#.

This is not a fun time.

Step 3: Remember the Power of being a Nerd.

You've been training your whole life for this. You've been on a computer since kindergarten in one form or another. You can do this. YOU HAVE THE POWER.

Fact: When you're a nerd, you've got options. Now I knew there were temporary files, only problem was I didn't know how to open them. I was weak of heart and downloaded some backward mal-ware installing program that said it could read .tmp files. I did have the constitution of mind to not let it download most of it's other crap on my computer. I mean does anyone really want Yahoo Toolbar installed? No. But I bet most people have it and five other obscure bars, because they don't realize during those things that say "Quick Install" or "Custom Install" you should always pick "Custom." Anyway, after realizing that the product was absolute crap, I turned to sweet, sweet Google. I literally typed in "how to find temporary files for word documents" and hit search. Digging around I found that you can force Word to open those Temporary files. Better yet, there's another file type called .asd, or AutoSave Document. After searching "My Computer" for those file types, (search *.asd) I found a recent file, forced Word to open it, and Bam-za-dam, you've got your file back, or at least the last auto-save of it.

Step 4: Thank your lucky stars, and for the love of god SAVE THE DAMN FILE.

Heavy breathing followed by collapse. And tweeting.

Pretty self explanatory. Realize that you got lucky. So lucky. Realize that the Save button shall now be clicked every two minutes, like clockwork. Clock. Work.

For a solid half an hour last night, I thought my heart was going to explode, I was going to have to re-write a 5 page research paper, I was going to kill myself, or a combination of all three. It is not a pleasant experience, and I wish it on no one. However if this horrible catastrophe happens to you, follow my guide, or worst case scenario send me a message. I've been there. To Hell and back. I survived, and so can you.

Godspeed fellow writers. Godspeed.

The Bizarre Dreams of Jim Redding

2011-01-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

Okay so I just woke up from a dream. It started as I was a little kid going on a walking tour of Amherst as a grade school field trip with my roommate Andy. Then somehow it wasn't Amherst but the road that I get off Route 2 onto to get to Amherst, but it was still the place we were supposed to be. Now in reaity this is just a long stretch of road with some gas stations, a batting cage, a mini golf course, and an ice cream shop on it. Those were all there albeit on a much smaller scale. Also, this outdoor road somehow ended up in some kind of mall food court. But there were only two places in it, and one guy working the two places. It just so happened that my friend Beckett was said guy. Apparently we could only order after getting selected. By this time I was the right age again. Beckett's first pick was my friend Brian who I had apparently been standing next to the entire time. The menu options were only chicken cutlet sandwiches. After Brian ordered I got picked next. But now the menu options were only roast beef sandwiches. I remember I thought about getting two roast beefs, and a small soda, cause I'd just refill it with water in the bubbler after. But I ended up ordering a double roast beef sandwich. With bacon. So as Beckett put this into the machine that produced the roast beef, a siren or something went off and everyone was looking at me wondering why I hadn't taken my tee shot yet. I was now Christopher Chance, the guy from Human Target, and I was on a golf course. I had never played golf before but I knew the basics and being this guy I was just naturally good at everything. So I step up to take my shot, which was now not my tee shot, but my approach shot, and I got it real close to the hole. Then as I turned my back to the hole, and put my club over my shoulder, and the view switched to a camera angle facing me as a mid-close up, where somehow you could see me and also see the ball, in focus, some long distance away, roll and roll and roll into the hole. It was a hole in one I guess. So then as I'm walking to get my ball, I started talking to Winston, Chance's partner on the show, over the radio, the view switched to him, and next thing you know, some random chick starts talking to him, he realizes she's packing heat, he yells and tells me the op is blown over the communicator, and then next thing I know he tackles me into a portal or something, then I think I saw zombies or something. The next thing I saw was my mom opening my door asking me if I had anymore laundry in my room. I told her I put it all by the laundry machine.

That last part actually happened, but the rest of it was just as real. If anybody can tell me what my dream meant, please, enlighten me. But as far as I can figure, sometimes a dream is just a dream.

The Power of the Internet

2011-01-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

I’m sure absolutely everyone knows this by now, but in recent news there has been a homeless man, by the name of Ted Williams, who is the man with the golden voice. It’s really astounding. I first heard the story on Barstool Sports, and as charming as I thought it was, I thought this is just another great story that would fly under the radar.

Fast forward 24 hours.

Twitter, Facebook, Digg, CNN, Fox News, ESPN; Everything is blowing up with news about this guy. It's incredible. I know my Mom hadn't heard about it until I told her, but of course I told her after I not only saw it on ESPN, but on their show Around the Horn. She then proceeded to tell all her friends about it. It's an immense boon to the human spirit to think that one video, one small little YouTube video, could get put up about a man who has fallen on hard times, and not much later he would be doing radio appearances, as well as getting job offers from sports organizations. I'll keep this short, but this is a shout out to everyone who saw this, and told someone about it. Whether you wanted to show someone how funny it was, or how talented he was, or just because you were bored. Whoever you are, you gave this guy a second chance in a world that isn't known for second chances. Good work. For every story they run on the news about how something bad went down, they eventually let one of these good ones seep through the cracks, and I'm glad that this is the story that everyone picked up on. Good job on being you, whoever you are.

Thanks for renewing my faith in the human race everybody.

Review: TRON: Legacy in IMAX 3D

2010-12-27T21:27:00.000-08:00

I really don't even know what to say about this movie. You could say I was a fan of the original TRON, but then again it came out in 1982, and I probably saw it in 2002, so I was a bit behind the curve. Looking back at the trailer now, after having just seen the new visual masterpiece that was the sequel is like comparing a sleek new Ferrari 599 GTO to an old Ford Model T. Seriously, from the beginning of this movie all the way through the credits, this movie is stunning.

Now there are two things you should know if you have any sort of interest in this movie and I am here to report on both of them. One is the soundtrack. It is original music, entirely composed by Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter. Or as I like to refer to them as, Daft Punk. I am a huge Daft Punk fan, and from the very beginning of this movie, when the music starts bumping it is phenomenal. Being a movie set mainly in a digital world, the digital stylings of Daft Punk work perfectly. And while the music alone is good, this is where the IMAX theater comes in. The base literally shakes the seats. You feel the music, and it adds exponentially to the experience.

The other thing that you may have noticed from the commercials is the usage of computer generated effects to de-age Jeff Bridges 21 years. Now it's a little weird, and it takes a little getting used to, but after you do it's really a non issue. I mean, I've seen giant blue guys on screen and I think I dealt with that pretty nicely. I'll admit it's not the best work I've ever seen, but then again absolutely everything else in the movie is gorgeous so I am going to let it slide.

Also I just wanted to say, I really liked this movie. It's the nerdiness, the video game-ness, the music, the visuals, the whole she-bang-bang. The world created by the events and aftermath of the original presented a really cool sequel. Plus, I thought the acting was pretty good too. I really liked Olivia Wilde in the movie, but I think that's just because she actually showed some emotion, specifically happiness, as opposed to her role as the sullen, emotionally reserved 13 in House. The main guy, Garrett Hedlund was also pretty good too. And who doesn't love Jeff Bridges right? I'm not the best critic for acting but I thought it was enjoyable all around.

The ending could have been better. It left me a bit confused I guess. The movie was so sweet then the ending fell flat and it was just so odd. All in all, if you like Daft Punk, spectacular visuals, video games, and some sweet action Tron provides a good movie going experience. Definitely a must see for nerds of all ages. 9/10.

Now I'm off to buy the soundtrack! You should too! Hooray!

A list of Excuses for why I can't write my 10 page paper:

2010-12-06T15:21:00.000-08:00

I sprained my typing finger (right, middle) so I can't type it. Or write it.
I was too busy watching a 7 hour cricket match between Bangladesh and Zimbabwe on ESPN3 on the xBox 360.
I had to watch the latest Blamimation on PATV.
I had to watch the one of the movies for the paper, that I should've watched two months ago.
I had to watch the countless videos of John Mayer that Jake kept finding on YouTube.
I had to listen to Jake play guitar.
I had to check, double check, and triple check my See Friendships with random people on Facebook.
I had to Tweet about how bad this paper was.
I had to make incoherent babbling sounds.
I had to write a dozen fake intros to the paper using slang and cuss words to describe the class.
I had to delete those intros.
I had to write how much I hated the class.
I had to delete that too.
Andy kept talking my ear off every time I wanted to start working.
Seriously, he'd be all like, "Hey man stop going on Facebook and do your work."
What a chatty Cathy right?
He's such a jerk.
I kept staring at our fish, Wendel for inspiration.
The Christmas lights we use to light our apartment just make it too comfortable to entertain the thought of doing anything other then staring at their dull white glow....
I had to throw my hat in the corner in disgust of how bad I'm doing at writing this paper.
I had to moan about how my hat is now over in the corner and I want it back on my head.
I had to moan about how I'm too lazy to go get it and Andy why won't you go get it for me I don't care if it's farther away from you just go get it I know it's my hat but c'mon please you're such a jerk I hate you why don't you love me fine I'll go get it jerk.
I had to double check and see if Netflix works on the xBox.
I'm thirsty and I can't work if I'm thirsty.
Alright so I'm totally gonna do it, but I just gotta pick out some music to listen to.
What time're the Pats on again? Oh I could totally just start it after. Okay fine I'll start it!
Dude this song's really good.
Just sit back and listen man.
Close your eyes and just go for it.
I had to wonder if Kevin was having fun in class. Or wherever he is.
I had to ask what was for dinner.
I had to get yelled at.
I had to ask Jake how his car ride was first.
But seriously this is getting ridiculous, I'm gonna go start it.
I had to write a blog about how I couldn't write it.
I did write a blog about how I couldn't write it.

Ode to the Worst Class I've Ever Had The Displeasure of Taking

2010-11-30T20:43:00.000-08:00

College is a wonderful place. There's plenty of opportunities, there's plenty of girls (or guys (if that's your thing)) to swoon over, and there's plenty of interesting classes you can take. Unfortunately, after the honeymoon that is most student's freshman year, in my case freshman and sophomore years, you settle down with a major, maybe a minor, and you have to take some classes that aren't so interesting.

Now I don't remember if I've ever gone into detail on my schooling and whatnot, but I'm now officially a Communications major here at the good ol' University of Massachusetts. I'm also unofficially an Education minor. It's a Catch-22 system, where you can't be a minor until you have completed all the courses, and it never tells you what courses you need to take online, because you are not a minor. It's a dumb and flawed system.

But what's more dumb and flawed is one of the classes that I've needed to take. Now I won't go into specifics of when I had to take this class, or which class it is specifically, but let me tell you about it. This class had a promising title, offering to teach us about international things, implying that the general scope would be scattered, you know, internationally. Turns out international, in this context, stands for "Africa, India, and China."

Now, I wouldn't mind studying Africa, India and China, except that's all we did. I was under the assumption that if our teacher was from Great Britain, we might actually take interest in the U.K. and Europe, but apparently I was mistaken. My Bad.

Anyways, this class was painful to go to. Not only did we have the class in a room that always had the heat blasting from 5 gigantic radiators, even during the fall when it was already high 70's, but the class was rarely taught by our actual teacher. Most of the time, we'd walk into class, and we'd have a guest speaker, talking about something irrelevant, and non-consequential to the class. Then a few times, we'd walk in to class only to find that all 8 of the TA's were going to parade up to the front of the class and tell us about all their time spent in the peace corps in, oh wouldn't you look at that! Africa. The few classes she actually taught? Yeah, she just stood up there and talked at us. It was painful.

So that's what happened from a "teaching" perspective for the first few classes. From a "student" perspective I did the following:

Read a book
Listened to my iPod
Played PSP
Played Trivia/Solitaire on my iPod
Played Mahjong on my Laptop
Read the Newspaper

There was no wireless in this building for some godforsaken reason. Who knows why. Perhaps they thought the heat would make us pass out before we tried to use it. Perhaps they were right.

I will take this time to tell you the sole, shimmering gem of wisdom I've gleaned from this class. Having all that time of sitting in class allows one to accomplish tremendous feats. I mastered the alphabet. Backwards. Yes. Through repetitive writing, and filling two pages of paper, I, Jim Redding, have conquered the alphabet both forwards and backwards. I feel accomplished. I also wrote a short screen play for a Star Wars spoof created by my bro-host Kevin and myself. We are thinking of selling it to Robot Chicken. They seem pretty cool.

After the Midterm Reviews, where everyone slammed her for having an awful class, she decided to merge the second and third papers of the class into one final paper. At this point I need to mention the discussion section of the class. The class only met once a week, with a discussion section immediately following the class itself. Two and a half hours of class purely on one subject is brutal, even in the best of classes. This was living in a hellish netherworld where time falls to a standstill and you are prodded with a pointy stick for what seems like eternity.

Now my TA was nice enough. Arguably too nice. Hailing from, oh weird, AFRICA (specifically Nigeria), she was all about being our friend, and us being buddies. So the first couple of classes, we'd go in, and instead of you know, having class, possibly getting through everything so we could get out early, we'd sit down, and have to find a neighbor and ask them, "How was your day?"

Cue the prodding.

This is the last place any of us wanted to be, and we were forced into niceties with strangers, that nobody really wanted to be there with. This eventually escalated into "Friendship Groups" which consisted of 5 people sitting around and asking each other how our days were. This was quickly replaced with us asking each other why they had made the horrible decision of taking this class.

This also might be a good time to note, while after the midterm beat-down, our teacher started teaching, and actually used PowerPoint, we weren't graded or tested upon anything we learned in class. The entire grading system is based on homeworks, done using readings provided to us online, and turned in to discussion. We took a few weeks off after we figured this out, skipping the class and blending in with the crowds as we filtered off to discussion. It was, unfortunately, all too easy, and still horrifically painful.

I have explained to you my rage, and agony I have experienced for participating in this class, but this does it no justice. Should you ever be in a similar position to that of my own, be wary of international classes. I beg of you. Should you ever stumble into a class where there is a promise of "International" and "Learning," be wary. Be very wary.

Lookout: The Lifesaver

2010-11-22T15:15:00.000-08:00

So for those of you not in the know, I am the proud owner of the original Droid. It has been a most admirable companion, coming in clutch in many a situation. This past weekend however, we had a very close call.

Going out as some tend to do, on weekends, in college, I found myself walking home in the middle of the evening by my lonesome. Upon arriving home, I reached to check my trusty Droid only to find my right pocket man was not there. Surely my left pocket? Back pocket? Jacket pockets? Alas! My Droid was lost! After a moment of panic, the answer hit me as it so often does. Right in the face.

I bet you watch TV. I bet you see commercials. I will even go so far as to bet that you've seen more than one commercial about the Droid. Perchance you might have seen the Droid commercial about Lookout, Mobile Security. I too have seen this commercial, enough times for it to appeal to my paranoid side, that, "Hey, security is good! I should get some on my phone!" I've got to figure, we've got alarms on cars, anti-virus on computers, low-jack for both, why not on a phone? More importantly, why not on my phone?

As I made a mad dash the two feet from where I was standing to my laptop, I was questioned as to what I was doing. A quick explanation and some mad typing later, and I was on the Lookout website, logged in, and it was in the process of hunting down my phone. It hunted it down to within about 10 feet before I realized I knew exactly where I'd dropped it and set out on a quick jog to go get it. At last my Droid and I were reunited.

It was a scary 5 minutes, but once again, technology saved my ass. This is a PSA to all you smart phone users. I don't care if you're young or old, cause you're just as likely to drop your phone at a party as you are at a business meeting. Either way, Lookout helped me find my phone, and saved me the time and hassle, not to mention the money it'd take to replace my phone. So spend the 2 minutes it takes to find the App on your Droid or Blackberry or Windows Mobile, and save yourself hundreds of dollars and a boat load of stress. As for you iPhone users, maybe you can find a comprable app, but you dumbphone users are outta luck. Just another reason for everyone to get a Droid.

My name is Jim Redding and I approve this message.

Jim Redding vs. The State of Massachusetts

2010-10-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

This post is already awesome. The title alone is not only a legal thing, but also a Scott Pilgrim thing. I am the master of word play. It is me.

So last Tuesday I went to court. "Now Jim, you're such an upstanding why would you ever need to go to court?" you ask. Well friend, I was LIDAR'd speeding in Gardner. A tragic tale, I assure you. Feeling as it was my duty to get my day in court, I decided to fight the ticket. I mean really, worst case scenario I have to pay my ticket, which I'd have to do anyway. So I decide to go to court.

So the night before I look up a few ways of getting out of the ticket, and long story short, I stayed up until 4AM writing cross examination questions. I basically would have destroyed this Officer's credibility.

I say would have because what I didn't know, is that in Massachusetts I don't get to confront my accuser. Instead of the age old way of having your officer show up (or hopefully not show up) and take your case in front of a judge, you go in front of the Court Magistrate, after paying a 25 dollar filing fee, and some old Officer sits in the witness stand and reads the original Officer's report of the incident. Not knowing this, most of my cross examination questions were reduced to little pointless jabs at this (presumably) innocent Officer. And being under oath I couldn't lie about the incident (morals!) and inevitably, my motion to be found Not Responsible was denied. But they did drop down the fee, which was nice.

However then I was told that if I didn't like the finding, I could pay 50 bucks, then do the whole Judge thing, and they'd then subpoena my citing Officer. But at that point, I'd skipped class and driven an hour to the court house, and waited another hour for my hearing only to be found Responsible, and to be honest, that's a lot of stuff to be hit over the head with mid-October, when I should just be living it up at school. So I'm not doing the second hearing cause in the end, it'll probably be the same finding, and let's be honest, if the cop used a Laser enhanced Radar gun, and tagged you as speeding, you were speeding. Which unfortunately I was. So next time you're fighting a speeding ticket, at least in Massachusetts, unless you were paying some huge fee (like I was) or you actually weren't speeding, especially if it's an hour away from where you live, and you have to drive there on a b-e-a-utiful fall day, it's not worth it. Save the gas money.

Adventures in Radioland

2010-09-28T17:44:00.001-07:00

Week 3 of classes is in the hole, but more importantly week 3 of Music Salad Sandwich has blessed the airwaves. If you haven't heard Kevin and my latest adventure on the airwaves, I must say I think we're outdoing ourselves. Last year, our brutal taskmaster of a program director came to us mid-semester and basically told us, "Listen guys, I don't want you playing any music that has ever been played on any other station, and I don't want you talking more than three or four times an show." Fearing for our infant show's life we accepted these terms and conditions.

But now it's a new year, and a new show, with a new program director. We're making the rules this year. As well as having our intern Mariah on the phones Kevin and I really have a lot more of our creative juices flowing at midnight, instead of 2 AM.

Point in case, on our way to the Station last night, we drove by the Rotary by Totman that we see every day. This time I stop to ask Kevin what he thinks is going in the middle of it. Before we even park the car down the road, we've got it. UMass's greatest alumni, back to back buddy cop style. That's right, Bill Cosby and Dr. J. Can you imagine, driving down the longest street through campus, only to find the literal gold at the end of the rainbow? That's right, not only is it an amazing statue, it is also an amazing gold statue. It would make everyone on campus's day. Imagine the nice warm spring sun gleaming upon the golden statue as snow slowly seeps off, revealing the heroes of UMass under the tundra. There would be absolutely nothing better.

Now we know, this idea has not only made your day, but your lives. We get it. This is everyone's dream come true. We don't need a lot of recognition, names on a plaque perhaps. But what we do need, is everybody's signature. If you're interested in this beautiful, priceless statue adorning our unworthy campus, write on the Music Salad Sandwich wall, through either the link up there, the link at the bottom of the page, or http://www.facebook.com/pages/Music-Salad-Sandwich/141646119211523 for all of you who are reading through Facebook and let us know you're interested. Tell your friends, get them in on this. Who knows, maybe we can actually get this dream realized!

Jim's State of The Union

2010-09-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

So tonight was the first real night in the apartment. Everyone's settled in. We all woke up and ran some errands. Hung around all day, grilled dogs and burgers while we played a little catch on the front lawn. Then to top it all off we rented Repo Men off OnDemand and had a little movie night. The guys all went to bed, but I'm a bit of a night owl so I'm up and watching the last half of Criminal Intent before SVU comes on in a few minutes.

Being here with the guys, hangin out, talking, broin' out (yes, separate from hangin' out) and even just sitting watching TV makes me realize that this; right here; this apartment, this year, this college, this life, that I am living, is the prime of my days. I arguably couldn't be happier with the situation. I mean, sure, there are things I want to change, like I'm sure I'll dislike a class or two, I'll wish I had a better situation with some girl, and I'll wish I had a bigger budget to buy more video games, but on the whole, I am very pleased with my situation in life as a whole. I mean as far as the good life is concerned, I'm livin' it.

I guess I'm going to keep this one short. But the brevity is not for lack of emphasis. Trust me, the emphasis is there, and there's a whole bunch of it. We're keeping this one short, due to the fact that I think you guys might get a little annoyed with me rubbing it in your faces that right now, my life is incredible.

Procrastinating!

2010-08-23T13:41:00.001-07:00

So as I sit here, "packing" and "getting ready to go back to school tomorrow," I'm doing what I do best, procrastinating, and what I do moderately well, blogging (in my opinion.) I can't help but be nostalgic on this summer, which in my books will be known as the summer of SVU.

Sure, the beginning of the summer held trips to Los Angeles, Amherst, and the movies, as well as heart-breaking losses, cherished covers, and theories about Zombies, as well as books galore. I read about 8 or 9 books, plus about 9 or 10 graphic novels. And then, on June 3rd, I was bored, and found that 10 seasons of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit were on Netflix. OOOOHHHH BABY. It took me approximately 74 days, to finish SVU but man, was it worth it. I'd always liked the series, and watching all of the seasons really made me like it that much more. I got to see plot lines beginnings and ends, the characters grow and mature, and the series progress ten years over this summer which has been really cool. Now I miss it. But new episodes start up this fall! :D

I was able to watch this much TV in this much time because of my work schedule. Don't get me wrong, work was all well and good, but every Friday and Sunday for the last half of the summer, I had to get up and go to work, which was definitely a damper when Friday and Saturday nights were the only nights of the week when the guys could hangout. So when they were working Monday through Friday, and not wanting to hang out cause of their early mornings during the week, I had a bunch of time to sit around and hang out with my good friends Elliot, Olivia, John and Fin.

But that's not to say that I wasn't active. I went and gym'd it up for a majority of the summer. Monday through Thursday for reasons already explained. That was a good thing! Right? And work was fun from time to time. Two of my co-workers, Daria and Zack as well as myself decided to make Lacrosse Pennies for the Garden Center. The first ones we ordered were too big, and the second ones aren't done yet but no worries. Next summer.

Next summer will be bigger, badder, and a lot more fun. I'll be 21, friends will be off interning in various places I can visit, and they'll be 21 too! That's not to say I want school to fly by though. With a schedule first semester as sick as this, and roomates like Jake, Andy and my bro-host Kevin (Late Night Window returns Tuesday mornings at Midnight this fall!) this is going to be a fun year. SO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MORE NERDVENTURES COMING YOUR WAY! UNTIL NEXT TIME!

VIVE LE TROIS DE FIN DE LA SEMAINE!

Review: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

2010-08-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

A while back, I saw the trailer for the movie, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. I thought, "Wow, that looks pretty cool." Then I stumbled upon the internet, where everyone was, how do you say, FLIPPING OUT. I hadn't been made aware of Scott Pilgrim's basis in the realm of comic books, which, needless to say, only made me like it more. It was drawn and written by Bryan Lee O'Malley, who though I hadn't heard of him, had a really cool style that appealed to my cartoon loving self. This happened to be all around my birthday, and with not much else on my birthday list, I decided to ask for the first 3 books. I was hooked. The protagonist, Scott Pilgrim, is a 20 something, with no job, a few friends, and is lost in life with the exception of his band. He's also comically slow witted. I took a liking to him immediately. I bought the next 2 books, and eagerly awaited the 6th and final book to come out last month.

With such a great love for the books, having now read and enjoyed them all tremendously, the trailers (one in particular) were increasingly amazing as scenes from the movie were almost panel for panel with the comic books. With such a faithful representation, and being directed by the awesome Edgar Wright, who some of you might remember from directing Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz, the entire nerd community, yours truly included, was throughly stoked.

After letting the movie marinate in my brain juices all weekend I have decided that they had every right to be. Due to time constraints, the story of the movie closely parallels the first three books, then takes its own course, but it remains very faithful regardless. The story is about the previously mentioned Scott, played by Michael Cera, who meets Ramona, and in order to date her has to defeat her Seven Evil Ex's. Video game and pop culture references commence.

The little nods and the amount of references was incredible and vast, from Zelda's Great Fairy Fountain to the Seinfeld scene switch music. The cinematography was also incredible, mimicking the stylized drawing of the books, but at the same time making it aesthetically pleasing and often times hilarious. The mash up of movie stereotypes and the line blurring of comedy, drama and action film with a handful of references interspersed was incredible.

The action scenes were equally as well done. The fighting was as good as I've seen in kung-fu movies nowadays, but was done over a layer of video game stylization, which was what really made me like it. I caught myself during a few of these action scenes thinking, "Wow. I love this movie." I mean, when you have Micheal Cera fighting a legion of bosses, while getting 64 hit combos and coins for defeating them, you know you've just made fanboys' days worldwide.

As I said earlier the subtle sound clues are really good, but at the same time, Scott's band, Sex Bob-Omb plays an integral part in the plot, so there's a lot of music played in the movie, almost all of it written and performed by Beck. I'm no Beck fan, but boy! I really dug the music in this movie. To the point where I am deeply considering downloading the OST off of iTunes. It's that good you audiophiles.

However there are a few detractors. I loved this movie, because I got all the jokes, the subtle little nods, and could kinda empathize with the characters' situation being a 20 year old myself. But if you haven't played a video game in your life, you'll be missing out on a lot of these jokes. The movie is still good on the surface, but it was the little things, and emphasis on detail that really made this movie, "An epic of epic epicness."

If you're in the teens, twenties, or thirties possibly, I'd say this film is right in your wheel house if you like romantic action comedies. Yes, that is the label I am giving this film. Actually, I'm going to call it a romantic nerd action comedy. I am also going to give this film a 9.5 out of 10. I could really watch this movie again. And again. And possibly again. But I might need to pee at some point. But then I'd definitely watch it again. Go see it.

GAME OVER

I Watched Way Too Much TV As A Kid

2010-08-11T17:29:00.001-07:00

Or, How I spent my Saturdays for the Majority of my Life.

So I'm hanging out in Amherst, at our brand spankin' new apartment, fighting the router, and lounging around au naturel, when (via Digg.com) I stumbled upon this neat article, listing the 50 Greatest Saturday Morning Cartoons. So of course, I go into this experience knowing that chances are good that I've seen at least a few of these shows.

Turns out a few of these shows meant 36 out of the 50.

And those were just the ones I had seen a few episodes of. I hadn't heard of 5 of them. 45 outta 50 is an A- last time I checked. So naturally I got to thinking, "Wow, I can't imagine how many hours I put into these shows," which of course just got me trying to imagine how many hours I put into these shows. Television was a huge part of my childhood, and probably for a lot of people in their 20's and 30's, but it's weird to think that it wasn't always this way. Our parents somehow managed to go through school every day, walk through their front doors and not crash on the couch in front of the TV. I don't even know what they did when they woke up early on Saturdays.

My routine would be going to school, coming home, "doing homework," (let's be honest here, prime homework hours were before school started the next morning, and in class), and then Toonami would come on Cartoon Network, and I would tell my Mom I was done, even if I wasn't so I could catch my daily cartoon fix. I can remember more than one occasion where I woke up at 6, or 7 on Saturday morning, and sat 5 inches from the TV watching Steve Irwin or some other Australian animal guy talking about animals until the 'toons came on at 8, where I would then plan out my time between Cartoon Network, Fox and The WB. I also remember more than one occasion where my Dad came out to yell at me because the TV was too loud, even though I was sitting 5 inches away.

I've grown up, and I couldn't get up at 6 or 7 on a Saturday morning if I wanted to now, but all that time with these cartoons really did shape my childhood. Cartoons were what got my imagination going. Watching everything from Pokemon to Thundercats to Ninja Turtles, I was always thinking about "What if?" What if I was a ten year old, who left home, alone, to go travel the world, fighting little monsters against each other in an attempt to trap and fight every species? What if I was an anthromorphic lion, with an extendable sword, that got longer everytime I yelled out my team name, who was a king with a mummy for an arch-enemy? What if I was a normal baby turtle who got splashed with chemicals, so that I became human-esque and was taught by a ninja-master-turned-ambilatory-rodent to patrol the cruel streets of New York and protect the citizens from an evil ninja warlord?

The "What if?"'s really became a big part of my life, and while now I'm more into thinking what if this became a career, or I got a job doing that, in the end cartoons really opened the door into a world of unending possibilities that in generations past had only been opened for the fortunate few by books and then radio. I was watching Cartoons way before I got into video games and comic books. So even though a lot of the big hoopla is about getting kids out to play, and getting them off the couch, all I'm saying is I spent a lot of time heavily immersed between the intergalactic peril on TV and the middle cushions of my couch. Letting kids watch Cartoons is a good thing, in moderation. Don't underestimate the potential of letting your kid get lost in some show about a pretty boy, a rich girl, a nerd girl, a stoner and a dog, because when they eventually do get outside, their only going to want to stay there if they can pretend that they're not just in their own backyard, or at the playground, but on the surface of an alien planet, fighting bad guys for possession of 7 magical stones.

So next time you're trying to shuffle your kid out the door, tell them to think happy thoughts... about cartoons.

Review: Inception

2010-07-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

Over the last few years, Leonardo DiCaprio has been slowly but surely climbing the rungs of my favorite actors. After earning my unrelenting disdain for his performance in Titanic, he's slowly been working his way back into my good graces with films like Catch Me If You Can, The Departed and more recently with Shutter Island. Inception is another film that elevates him on my list.

Inception is a thinker's film. (My favorite kind.) If you can wrap your head around the initial concepts going into the film, that being the plausibility of going into people's subconscious mind while they're sleeping, you're going to enjoy this film. There are Dreams, within Dreams, within Dreams, and with each increasing level of dreaming comes more action. You pretty much can't go wrong.

Christopher Nolan writes and directs a mean film as evidenced by Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, as well as The Prestige. This film created a world where there is a pandora's box of options. Dreams change person to person, night to night and in a world where people can share dreams it seems like there isn't anything that couldn't happen. But with so many options and variables, obviously there have to be rules. They like to tell you the rules, then proceed to bend them and break them, just because they can. Therein lies the big appeal of this movie. Nobody likes playing by the rules, and the outcome of skirting the rules set up is nothing short of fantastic.

The characters are smart, complex, and definitely likable. Though the film concentrates mostly on Leo's character of Cobb, there is definitely enough plot in there to fill the hundred and forty-eight minutes of screen time. The supporting cast is great, with names like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page and another favorite actor of mine, Michael Caine.

From Cast to Characters to Story, this film can't go wrong. At the end of the film you're going to be sitting in your seat uttering various one word phrases multiple times, be it, "Wow," "Damn," or "What?" If you can handle the thinking part of the film, then you shouldn't be thinking about it any more. Go see this movie. I'm going to give this one a 9/10.

Helpful Hints Vol.1: How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

2010-07-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

As everybody knows, or perhaps should know, when it comes to the Zombie Apocalypse it is not a matter of who, what, why, or any other interrogative question other than when?

Hint 1: Stay Calm. Panic will not lead to rational decisions.

Sure, when you hear the news that somewhere in the world humans have indeed risen from the dead and are now stalking the earth in an attempt to feed their hunger for human flesh, you might get a little panicked. Understandable. But after your moment of terror, you should realize that this is the day you've been waiting for.

Hint 2: Practice makes Perfect.

Any responsible human has been training for Z-Day for years. Through video games, movies, and even published survival guides, the future leaders of mankind's survivors have honed their senses and strategies to the point where when this goes down, they'll grab their gear, and hit the road even before the rioters and looters hit the streets. These stoic champions go unnoticed now, but when the time comes, look around for your closest nerd, for he or she has the skill-set to save your sorry butt.

Hint 3: Find the Nerd.

Much like there is an urgent call over the loudspeaker when someone becomes ill on a plane for the Doctor, when you hear that Zombies have arisen, unless you yourself are a nerd, look around you, call out, and run to them for aid. A good nerd will know what to bring, as well as where to go.

Hint 4: Pack light, but for the long haul.

Packing a ton of clothes, smart on some levels, not on others. You don't want to be burdened by excess as when your life is in danger from the un-dead, fashion will not be your priority. Though one's first thought might be to abandon all luxuries and focus purely on weaponry and resources, at the same time, should this be the last time you're in your homestead, take something that will get you through the long nights when the Zombies are at the gates. This includes iPods, paperback books, cell phones, and other portable electronics, as well as their respective chargers. We'll have no idea until Z-Day on whether power will go out, cell service will go down, or blood will rain from the sky, but as electricity and water hopefully won't go right away, packing a few small items with such great value will surely be of use. Flashlights and Radios are a must!

Hint 5: Know where you're going, and get there ASAP.

Now if you're relying on your resident nerd to have this planned out, you're probably going to just have to follow orders in this part, but then it is up to the nerd to have this planned out. Key properties of a good safe haven include:

Food or some other form of sustenance
Fences
A look out, or watch tower
Tools, or other weapons
Sturdy
Scentless, or Scent covering

For example; the Marblehead Garden Center is an ideal place to get through the Zombie Apocalypse. It has fences on all sides, lots of concrete blocks (perfect for building or re-enforcing walls), a basement for storage, a second floor which can see the entirety of the property, plenty of shovels, spades, pick axes, a lot of hoses, direct access to the sewer system, pallets filled with stone for defense, fertilizer for explosives, and foul smelling manure to cover the scent of our human flesh. It also has a huge tractor and a truck which could be used to plow a hole through the horde, and whisk survivors to safety respectively. With a little heads up, and a team of strong men I am positive that I could have that place Zombie proof within 24 hours of the outbreak. And with plenty of dirt, as well as fruit, herbs and vegetables, the Garden Center is a veritable gold mine of survival. It falls to the nerd to have assessed their town and other surrounding areas for this ideal safe haven. Perhaps it is a high school, an abandoned factory or some other location with some of these qualities.

Hint 6: Rely on each other.

I'm not saying let every yahoo into your haven, who happens to walk by. It's the Apocalypse for crying out loud! But if you go to someplace where you trust people, and they trust people, and nobody is leaving any time soon, cooperation is going to be key for your survival.

Hint 7: Get ready for a long one.

Elect a leader, or perhaps leaders if democracy is your thing, hunker in, and start building some shelter, because who knows how long this Apocalypse is gonna take. The Government is going to do everything they can and all that, but who knows how long it's going to take for you and your fellow survivors to be rescued. Defense is the name of the game. I don't care if you hunker down in a gun store, only attack Zombies when absolutely necessary. Zombies will react to noise, as well as movement, and blowing a hole through one Zombie isn't going to make any difference in the whole of it.

Hint 8: Don't get bitten.

Duh. Bitten, scratched, slobbered on; No one knows how this zombie-ness will infect normal humans, and we can only hope it's not airborne. But basically, unless you want to spend the remainder of your days haunting your former compatriots, do yourself and your friends a favor, and leave camp while you still have the ability to make your own decisions.

Hint 9: Look for weaknesses.

Sure, Zombies have traditionally one weakness, this being loss of their central nervous system, or BOOM HEADSHOT. But hey, who knows, if you see that they keep rapidly decaying over time, or have an aversion to water, use it to your advantage! If they have a weakness besides brain loss this Apocalypse could be over sooner than we think!

Hint 10: Stay connected.

Hopefully everything doesn't go to hell in a handbasket and phones and internet stay up. Bar that keep your radio tuned in. I'm sure somebody will broadcast something letting people know what is up. Maybe even if you find the weakness you can save some lives!

Well, that's all for my Helpful Hints, so be sure to be prepared! If nothing else remember: It's not if but when, and don't you dare go to the Garden Center.

Jim Redding vs. Hewlett-Packard

2010-06-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

I went to Amherst two weekends ago to visit my main man Andy, as well as to visit my pad with John. I brought my laptop, I used it all weekend, all was good in the world.

Then I got home. My computer predicted a SMART error on my Hard Drive.

I don't know what that means really, but my computer is down for the count, and since then I've been waiting on HP to get themselves together. See, I've been put in a very peculiar position. My original laptop that I bought from HP in 2008 was not only my first laptop, but also a piece of junk. My Dad got me a extended warranty to go with it, which is a good thing. In the two months I had it, the mouse broke, the fingerprint reader didn't work, and even after sending it in to get it all fixed once, it came back, still broken.

After ripping them a new one, my Dad convinced HP to keep their crappy laptop, and send me a shiny new one. This was a good thing. And it was a good thing for the last two years, but then my Hard Drive decided that two years was a good run, and offed itself somewhere between Daniel Shays Highway and 128. Naturally I call my good friends at Hewlett Packard, and tell them my dilemma. Then my nice Indian helper hit me with some excellent news!

My service plan didn't switch from my original laptop to the new one they sent me. I was then told I'd receive a phone call in the next 24-48 hours from a Case Manager, the only ones with the authority to switch my warranty, telling me that they could, in fact, switch my warranty. Needless to say, I never received a phone call. After absconding to California for nearly a week I returned to my homestead perturbed that I still had not received any communication from my favorite computer company.

After giving them another ring-a-ding-ding, and repeating all of the information I had given them previously, even though I had given them a case number, allowing them to see all the information I gave them the first time, I was told that I called too late and all the Case Managers were out for the night. I guess it doesn't matter that they're in India, and that they're about 9 hours ahead. A bit agitated I was told yet again, to wait 24 hours for a phone call, and if I didn't receive one, to just call again the day after.

Finally after not getting yet another phone call, I called them yet again today. After 80 minutes, about 45 of which I spent on hold, and 25 I spent repeating information I had already told them, the 10 minutes I spent talking to my Case Manager, got me the assurance that in about 24 to 48 hours I would be recieving a phone call telling me that my warranty had indeed been switched to my current laptop. Then after that is done I can go about wrangling them to get my hard drive fixed, or at least replaced.

I forget who said it, and really I'm too lazy to look it up, but "War is Hell." And dealing with Customer Service, be it HP, Dell, Comcast, Verizon, or any other huge conglomerate, is most certainly War. A War where the odds are stacked against us. So until I get my Laptop fixed, I'm gonna be a bit short in posting. But I have some good stories to share. Well at least I think they're good, I suppose you'll be the judge. So I hope you enjoy this spiffy new set up, and this tides your unrelenting appetite for more Nerdventures. So be patient. More is on the way.

My Thoughts: Tattoos

2010-06-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

"Hey nice tattoo."

"Thanks!"

"Yeah I've got a bitchin' tat of an Eagle soaring across my back."

"REALLY?!"

"No."

And just like that a blog post was born. I'm standing around watering at work today, when I notice, and decide to comment upon a co-worker's tattoo. I then proceeded to bamboozle my co-worker with a fabrication, which clearly worked. And it got me thinking.

Who would ever want an eagle soaring across their back?!

I mean, I get it. Tattoo's are a way for someone to represent something they feel they need to represent at all times, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And when it's something like a family motto, or a cross, I get it. You like your family and you like Jesus. Hey, fine by me.

But then you come across people who have chinese characters, and tribal tattoos, and you think to yourself, "Well maybe he spent some time immersed in another culture." If that is the case, then awesome, but 99% of the time, that person is a douche. To be clear, I'll define douche as a person who is fake to the point where they compel others to dislike them. I mean, you can walk up to tons of jacked bro's out there with their little tribal tat's going around their biceps, and say, "Sweet tat man, what is it?" to which they'll respond, "Thanks bro/dude, it's tribal." Ask them what tribe. Please. If not only to get their best, "Uhhhhhhhhhh" face, then to publicly decry them for the douche they are.

If you have a good reason for getting a tattoo, like if you and your best friend get matching tattoos of something that bonds you two forever or whatever, power to you. If you're obsessed with something to the point where you feel it needs to be permanently etched into your skin, just don't go too big, and you're cool. And if you're in the Armed Services or something and get your unit tattoo'd on you, you're golden. But when you take off your shirt to reveal a giant majestic eagle/other animal, a tribal tattoo of any sort, or worst of all a tattoo of any sort on the small of your back (a.k.a. a tramp stamp) you're just begging for people to think less of you. It's like introducing yourself to someone for the first time by telling them you never tip anyone ever. Horrible first impression.

If you have to do it, make sure you can't live without it, because even with most of these new laser and chemical removal options, you're gonna leave some sort of mark, that you'll remember forever. If it's just a little something that you can hide by wearing a t-shirt, or pants, and makes you feel good when you see it reflected back at you, great. But just don't fall into the trap of putting something on you that has nothing to do with you. Tribal tattoo's don't count as "artistic expression." It's just lines. Put at different angles from other lines. It's dumb.

So save for Jesus, Mottos, or something with immense symbolic meaning that you hold dear, I'd sleep on it. And maybe sleep on it again. But if you have to get ink permanently inscribed into your flesh, just keep it classy, because the second you show someone your tattoo, and you hear, "Ohh... It's.... nice?" You've screwed up.

The New Apartment (To the tune of The Old Apartment by Barenaked Ladies)

2010-05-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

Moved into the new apartment,

This is where we're going to live!

Brand new futon, really comfy,

Some new stuff and wooden floors,

This is where we're going to live.

Hey did they paint the walls?

Hey should we clean the floor?

Hey should we maybe put down a carpet right next to the door?

This is where we're going to live.

Hey should we get a book shelf?

Hey should we get a bath mat?

This is new to me now,

I guess we have to, let's go right now!

Moved into the new apartment.

Just twelve steps from the door.

Brand new roommates, brand new landlord,

on the left down Presidential.

This is where we're going to live.

Do we have to mow the lawn?

Do the keys work in these locks?

Oh man, am I excited, I only came here for fun.

This is where we're going to live.

How are the neighbors downstairs?

Are they possibly real cool?

We should go down and see if they want to come up just for fun!

I know we just moved in here today,

We came from home to move our stuff in,

Packed up everything yesterday,

I'm glad we're here,

Cause this is where we're going to live!

Moved into the new apartment.

Put a poster up on the wall,

Making memories, brand new memories,

To start off our junior year,

Let's get it done!

(Let's get it done!)

This is where we're going to live!

(Let's get it done!)

For those who don't have the song, click here and play it in one window while you read the lyrics off another! It's fun!

Dear Blog: Anniversary Edition

2010-05-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

Hey buddy. Congrats! You're officially one year old as of yesterday. We've been through a lot together this past year. To think, I couldn't even manage to go a whole month without posting a blog. I posted a whole 52 Blogs! (Not including this one.) That's a blog a week! Wowzers. Didn't feel like it. But it is what it is I suppose.

Well, I just wanted to say thanks to you, and all 5 of my readers for sticking around the last year. It's been an honor and a pleasure. I'm going to try and keep this train a-rollin' for another year with more reviews, opinions, and nonsensical stories. I'll keep this one short and sweet for a change.

Viva le trois jours de fin de la semaine!

Hearts and Kisses,

Jim

On Fandom

2010-05-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

So earlier this evening I was watching Game Six of the Celtics vs. The Cavs with Koshy and Andy, while I was texting Jake, and reading articles on Wikipedia on my Droid, multi-tasking much to Andy's chagrin, Jake made a comment about not being a "real fan." That got me thinking, am I a real fan?

I mean, I guess first you have to define what being a real fan is. Is a real fan someone who knows all the stats, to all the players for the last 20 years? Or is a real fan someone who through thick or thin will root for their team, never wavering for the temptations of any other team. In my opinion, it's more towards the latter.

The first kind of fan is what I like to call a die hard. They'll do research, spend hours crafting the perfect fantasy team, and pick teams or players here and there that exemplify, in their opinion, the "best" attribute. The Best Team; The Best Player. To the die hard, it is this group of teams or players that make the sport worthwhile. Without these pillars of athleticism, the sport becomes hollow, and isn't worth watching or dedicating that much effort to pay attention to.

Personally I'm all for my New England Teams. Sox, Celts, B's, Pats. (Who cares about the Revolution? I haven't heard any U.S. Soccer news on SportsCenter in... 2 years not counting David Beckham.) I've got a few outside loyalties from my Parents home states. Cubs, Bulls, Bears, Dodgers, 49ers. No love for the Lakers. I know some of the stats, most of the big names, and I'm always glad to hear one of my teams dominated.

While I might not watch every game all season, I'm always happy to see one of my teams win. Throughout the season, I'll catch a game here a game there, and always cheer for my team. If I don't catch a game, for the most part I'm not phased. Then it gets to playoff time, and I know it's important, so I'll put a little more effort into watching and rooting. In the eyes of the die hard, that's being a fair weather fan. In my eyes, it's helping my team when I know they need it most. But rain or shine, even if I know my teams aren't the best, I'm never going to say, "Well, the Sox are having an off season, the Yankees are my team now," and I feel that is why I'm a better fan than a die hard.

A die hard will follow players around, and as soon as they start doing bad, they drop'em and pick up that new rookie phenom that's going to be a star a few years down the line. Take Big Papi for example. He used to hit home runs left and right. Now? Not so much. But unlike a die hard, I'm still rooting for him every at bat. Sure I can talk crap about him if he does bad, but it's those couple times he comes in clutch hitting what would normally be a double, while he hobbles to make it a single, but still gets 2 RBI, enough to take the lead, that I really get fired up. It's the little things that make me happy, not the highlight reel, but that still never hurts.

However then you have to differentiate. You can't just hop in at the playoffs, learn a few names and be a real fan. If you can tell me that you watched a game, alone, mid-season, with nothing riding on the outcome, you're a real fan. If you started watching at the end of the season, where they needed to win to get into the playoffs, you're a fake.

What I'm really saying here is to me, a fan doesn't just care about all-stars, or statistics. A fan cares about characters, and history. I'm not saying you can't be a die hard fan for all your favorite teams, but on the scale of things I don't think a real fan should have to care about a player's OBP, IBB, GDP, ABC, FBI or whatever the rest of those weird statistics are. Just whether or not they're gonna play ball.

If I check NESN mid-summer, and the Sox are playing the Tigers, I'll watch for fun. Mid-winter? Bruin's and Sabres? Celtics and Warriors? Why not. So, later, if I'm making a night out of hanging out and watching (most of) the game with the guys during the playoffs, pulling for the Celts all the way, and flipping out when Tony Allen had a nasty one-handed dunk, I think I'm entitled to call myself a real fan. What do you think?