NEW MOBILE SMS COLLECTION

2015-12-28T21:09:00.000-08:00

Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus.
It's a bug.

College life is like

2015-12-28T21:04:00.000-08:00

College life is like Reliance !!
" Karlo Duniya Mutthi Mein"
Bachelor Life is Like Airtel!!
" Aisi Azadi aur Kahan"
After Engagement is Like Idea!!
" Jo Badal de aapki Zindgi"
After Marrige is like Hutch!!
" Where U go.. network Follows"
After Kid is like BSNL!!
" All lines are Buzy"
so frnds enjoy each moments

If in examination hall

2015-12-28T06:43:00.000-08:00

If in examination hall
during d exam
u feel tht d paper is tough,
dont worry.
Just close ur eyes,
take a deep breath
n say 2 urself
“This is a very interesting subject.
I want to study it one more time”

A beggar meets another beggar

2015-12-28T06:28:00.002-08:00

A beggar meets another beggar.
A Web designer meets another Web designer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question ???
So,
Which Platform are you Working on ???

Proud it where ever you from

2015-12-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner,
Unless you eat some of what's on that plate.
Being in america doesn't make you an american.
Being born in america doesn't make you an american
Proud it where ever you from.

Dress code for feb-14:

2015-12-28T06:20:00.002-08:00

Dress code for feb-14:
Green-leave me alone
Red-going 2 propose
Pink-accepted proposal
Black-rejected proposal
White-already booked.

2015-12-28T06:19:00.000-08:00

Excellent Answer To What Is Success?

In Simple Words

When Your SIGNATURE Changes To AUTOGRAPH

That Is Success…!

Hey do u think taht u are mad...

2015-12-28T06:14:00.000-08:00

Hey do u think taht u are mad.....
Then u must not press down......
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You have done that
Now the world knows.........
That you are mad....

The most stupid questions

2015-12-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

People usuly ask in d most
obvious situation n ansrz
you cn probably give:

1-At movies: Hey ! Wat r u doin here?
Ans:Don't know??
I sell tickets in black ovr here..

2-In Bus:A heavy lady wearing pointd
high heeld shoes on ur feet:Sorry
did that hrt u??
Ans:No,not at all !! I'm on local anaesthesia..
why dont u try again?

3-when u get woken up at midnight by a phone
call:Sorry!were u slepin??
Ans:No! I ws doin reserch on weather zulu tribes
in africa marry or not...u thot i was slepin??you
dumb witted moron..!!

4-when u c frnd with evedently shorter hair: Hey
Hav u had a haircut?
Ans:Naaah !!
Its automn n m shedin...!!!

One Of D Intelligent

2015-12-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

One Of D
Intelligent
Monkey
Missing
In
Zoo.!
Its Name Is..
Is..
Is..
Is..
Is..
Is..
Is..
Is!
Dont Worry
It Is Not U,
Bcoz
It Is Intelligent

When U WERE Born....

2015-12-28T05:42:00.002-08:00

When U WERE Born....
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The Cloud Parted,
Sun shined
and God appeared in front of all
and say
"Sorry For Mistake" kindly adjust it.

A girl and boy were siting alone,

2015-12-28T05:41:00.000-08:00

A girl and boy were siting alone,

Boy started touching the girl

girl: don't touch me.
all thing only after marriage

boy: ok !
call me when u r maried !

The secret of health for both mind and body

2015-12-28T05:38:00.000-08:00

Is not to mourn for the past,
Not to worry about the future,
Nor to anticipate troubles,
But to live in the present
Moment wisely and earnestly.

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?

2015-12-28T05:36:00.000-08:00

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said

You got Male!

A guy had 2 choose a wife frm 3 grls. He gave each

2015-12-28T05:32:00.000-08:00

A guy had 2 choose a wife frm 3 grls.
He gave each sum money 2 tst em.
1st gt a makover to luk gud. Da man got imprssd.
2nd bought clths 4 da guy n tld him it's he who is prime for her. He lykd her also.
3rd invsted da money n made profit n gave it back. The guy liked her too.
And finally when the time came to choose---
The guy simply chose the girl with

The biggest boobs.
Men will always be MEN!!

Height Of Confidence

2015-12-28T05:29:00.000-08:00

Many Professors Were Once Called.
They Were Asked To Sit In An Aeroplane.

After they sat they were told that
these planes were made by their Students...
They all hurried out of the Plane..
But
Only One didn't Move...
He said.....
"If it is made by the students..This wont even Start "...

Do u know what is the Real meaning of HELLO

2015-12-28T05:26:00.000-08:00

Storming msg:
When You lift the phone You say HELLO..
Do u know what is the Real meaning of HELLO?

It is the name of a girl..!
Yes!!

And Do u knw who is dat girl?
Margaret hello..

She is girlfriend of Grahmbell who invented telephone.
One can forget the name of Grahmbell but not his girlfriend!
Thats LOVE.

Who Says Maths Is Boring

2015-12-28T05:23:00.002-08:00

Math Tells Us Three Of The Tragic Love Stories.

Tangent Lines,
Who Had One Chance To Meet And Then Parted Forever..

Parallel Lines,
Who Were Never Meant To Meet..

And Asymptotes Who,
Can Get Closer And Closer But Will Never Be Together..

Who Says Maths Is Boring?!? ;-)

M Born brilliant but FORCED to STUDY

2015-12-28T05:22:00.000-08:00

This story is all about wen i ws in 2nd std.
I was caught talking in class and My Teacher asked me 2 write
"I Wont talk In Class"
50 times on d board,
I wrote
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for(i=1;i<=50;i++)
printf("I Wont talk In Class\n");

M Born brilliant but FORCED to STUDY..;-(

What is Over acting

2015-12-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

Once Einstein was reading in class.
A scorpion bit his toe but he read with concentration.
When the teacher asked him,
he said that the scorpion had bit him on his toe,
Not on his mind,
so he didn't Lose concentration.
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Dear friends, this is what we call..Over acting ..!! :->:-P!.
Please don't try dis;-)

The most stupid ques ppl usually ask in obvious situations

2015-12-27T21:28:00.000-08:00

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1. At movies : hey! Wat r u doin here?? Ans : Dont u know??? I sell tickets in black over hre
2. In bus:A heavy lady wearin pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet:sorry did that hurt? Ans:No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again?
3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl? Ans: why? Would it rather have been you??
4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : sorry! Were you sleepin? Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleepin? You dumb witted moron
5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : hey! Have you had a haircut? Ans: nah! Its autumn n m sheddin !!

Wife says 2 husband

2015-12-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

Wife says 2 husband:
W:Come help with the garden.
Husband:What do u think I am?a gardener?
W:Come fix the toilet faucet.
H:What do u think I am?a plumber?
W:Come fix the door handle.
H:What do u think I am?a carpenter?

The husband went out....but when he came back,he saw that everything is fixed...the garden...toilet faucet...& the door handle. He asked his wife who had done it?
The wife said its the neighbour's son,but he gave me 2 options...
Either to make him a hamburger or have sex with him...
Husband:I'm sure,u gave him a hamburger!!
Wife:What do u think I am??

This Is Very Cute...

2015-12-27T21:21:00.001-08:00

In A School Function,
An L.K.G. Boy Started Closing His Ears With Both Hands
When A Girl Was About To Start Her Speech...

Others Asked Him Why Are You Closing Your Ears?
He Replied:Dude,She Is My GF..
'n
She Is Gonna Start Her Speech With
"My Dear,Brothers 'n Sisters"..! :)

Are You Fluent In English? Sure ?

2015-12-27T21:19:00.001-08:00

Very Fluent?

Oh..k
Read It Fast...

"Upper Roller Lower Roller
Roller Lower Roller Upper"

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Where is your Fluency??

In a Bar, a man attended a phone-call:

2015-12-27T21:17:00.000-08:00

In a Bar,
a man attended a phone-call:
Hello! Yes Honey.

Wife: Darling, I'am in a shopping mall. Shall I buy Jewellery worth Rs. 1 LAKH?

Man: Sure Honey.

Wife: 1 Silk-Saree worth Rs. 20000 dear, shall I?

Man: One saree not enough honey, take 1 more.

Wife: Ok dear, I have your credit-card. Shall I use now?

Man: Sure, with pleasure.

All friends asked him after he put down his mobile: U love ur wife dis much?

Man: "EXCUSE ME, WHO's MOBILE IS THIS"?.