New Chez

The funny side

2012-01-10T15:08:00.002-07:00

There is a funny side to having RA if you look for it. In fact laughing at yourself and circumstances you find yourself in, can help your sanity on any given miserable day.

What you need though, is a sense of humor and a person close to you with one as well.. the more the merrier.
Let your wife, husband, friends, siblings, co-workers etc, know that it's ok to have a laugh about things, laugh with you (just not at you in a mean way). RA is a serious disease, but you don't have to take yourself or everything seriously.

Take my hubs, Mark and I. We have this thing now, where we name my strange new developments (and I think that's pretty funny just on it's own).

Like... that awkward moment when you're walking into the kitchen and you try to step, turn, co-ordinate with a swollen left knee, screaming right toes, not let the dog trip you up and try not to drop the glass clutched in your stiff creaky fingers... so you do a little sideways, one foot hop-skip thing that flat out looks like some ridiculous drunken shuffle.
We call that "getting Off-Hop"
We constantly call each other on it (even if it is only me 99% of the time).. "UH OH, Off Hop, Off Hop" ..
LMAO !

Then there's the days I wake with one or more toes that have swelled enormously overnight... they're "Sausage Toes".

Hubs comes home and asks how I am and I'll shout "SAUSAGE TOES TODAY". He shoots back, "I'LL FIRE UP THE BBQ"

We have a whole other language for me to describe "what's up today" and it makes me smile (the more ridiculous or stupid names we come up with, the better).

There's more, but you get the idea.

Ya gotta laugh or you'll cry and laughter is still the best medicine (cept on the days when your ribs hurt... lol).

Just Breathe..... and watch the fingers

Rheumatoid Arthritis aka (RAD Rheumatoid Autoimmune Disease)AWARENESS
http://rawarrior.com/rheumatoid-arthritis-ra-information/

RA Awareness - Please pass on to Anyone with RA or knows someone with RA

2012-01-09T22:49:00.002-07:00

RA Awareness - Please pass on the link below to Anyone with RA or knows someone with RA

Rheumatoid Arthritis aka (RAD Rheumatoid Autoimmune Disease)AWARENESS
http://rawarrior.com/rheumatoid-arthritis-ra-information/

Happy New Year and RA

2012-01-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, so further to my last post, which was kind of really just for me, documenting what having RA means to me and what I'm dealing with.. ya know, putting it all "down on paper" so to speak, I've had time to get used to the new drugs and see how I feel now, plus make some changes for generally better health.

Since then, I have found that the DMARDS (Disease-modifying antirheumatic drugs, including Plaquenil plus Sulfasalazine) in addition to a small dose of prednisone on the days I wake up and just KNOW it's not going to be pretty (not every day though), I AM getting a little better.
Not a lot and not every day and the hip bursitus not a bit, it's killin' me here, but it's been a little over 2 months now and I'm not as painfully "creaky" every single moment of every day, especially in fingers and toes, which is DA BOMB ! I'm not entirely sure if it's the new drugs, new eating habits or some of both, but something is improving a bit.
There's no cure for RA, not even a really effective treatment, but reigning in "flares" and bad days and slowing joint & liver damage is almost as good for those of us who need to live with this.
The less harsh drugs like Methotrexate and Biologics we can do without for longer, the better.

I also got my "numbers" re-checked a few weeks ago and after having off-the-charts liver enzymes, cholesterol numbers and other bad stuff in October, I am now all perfect on numbers, except my red and white cell count both being elevated, which, given that RA is an inflammatory disease, is normal for me now.

How did I fix the numbers ? For us, this wasn't a HUGE change, but by switching us to a far more plant based diet (we already fanatically eat all organic and very "whole" food and grains centric .. nothing from packets or cans, nothing "processed" or not organic), but no red meat, no pork (I miss bacon), nitrate-free meats, just a little chicken and fish, but a lot of home made organic vegetarian pastas, soups and the like... especially easy and tasty in winter, plus NO white grains, just whole grain pasta, rice, breads etc. I make my own whole grain bread in the bread machine (easy as tossing some measured stuff and whole wheat flour in a machine) and get the rice and pasta in organic form, from supermarkets.
Kind of taking meatless-Monday to Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, etc... you know and we eat out or have a free day, one day on the weekend. BUT, our free day is still junk-food-free. If we eat out, we try and pick a place that tries to at least give a nod to some healthier choices.
Weight is falling off at about a pound every week or so with no other changes and I hope to up that a little now that I can move a bit more without so much pain. Mark says his jeans aren't tight anymore and he has more energy too, so it's all good.

If you have RA, this is a great resource of positive fellow RA'ers
http://tweetchat.com/room/rheum

Just Breathe..... and be careful with the fingers :-)

My New Challenge

2011-11-29T23:10:00.001-07:00

No, not another diet, workout or anything like that.

This is a lifelong health challenge that I've known about for a while, but because it was so mild, I rarely had to deal with much, except some pain and long often painful recovery from things like tearing out Kitchens and re-doing them (glad it's done and promise I will get to posting photo's soon).

For the last year, I've been in progressively more pain, longer recovery from any exertion and activities and noticing more and more weird things going on with me.

After whining to Susan (my Phenomenal Primary Care Physician and friend for the last 11 years), especially about my fingers, back, hips and knees, she insisted I go and see the Rheumatologist again (it had been a few years and a previous diagnosis of very mild Rheumatoid Arthritis and possibly Fibromyalgia, fairly easily managed by an industrial strength Anti-Inflamatory and occasional strong pain killers).

So I give in and make the appointment, which involved a LOT of questions, reviewing recent history of tests, ailments, medications, plus ordering a slew of new tests, including hand and feet x-rays.
There was also a (shocking to me) physical test where he gently squeezed and moved every single knuckle and joint in my fingers and toes asking for a reaction to each one.
Why is that shocking ? Because I didn't know how much pain I was in, until someone wriggled every finger and toe joint I had (plus shoulders, ankles, elbows, knees,wrists etc, even my jaw and pressed my ribs).
O.M.G.
How didn't I know this before ? Because I didn't realize over time, how much I had been babying my fingers, wrists, knees etc and never touching my toe joints unless I had to and changing my footware choices over the last few years to avoid foot pain.
Gradually I couldn't ignore how long it took me to unfurl my fingers in the morning, sometimes needing to pull them straight, grinding my teeth the whole time. How long I had to stretch my whole body and wriggle everything A LOT before I could even stand without buckling to the floor in pain or stumbling from joints that would simply cease to function.
I couldn't ignore how I had to get tighter and firmer brace belts to enable me to stand my back and hips enough, without chewing down a handful of Vicodin to go shopping or even cook something time consuming.

You see, I never really believed I had RA or just had a really mild form of it, because I am RF Negative. What is that ? I do not show the RF Factor or marker in my blood. A slam dunk when diagnosing RA if you are positive and have some symptoms.
What I didn't know is that a HUGE percentage of people diagnosed with RA from mild to full on crippling, also test RF Negative.

After seeing the Rheumatologist, getting blood tests, getting x-rays and the joint manipulations and results of that, he gravely told me I have, no question, now Moderate Progressing RA. My right wrist is on the way to being fused to close bones, with malformations and there are other early malformation signs, although mild, in other joints of the hands and feet.
I also tested positive for a Lupus Marker and had to have further tests to rule that out and did thankfully, but it revealed I also have Sjogrens Syndrome, (explained a lot of things I experience and have for years) and is not uncommon with RA.

SO. The Rheumy wanted to start me on a Chemotherapy drug called Methotrexate, but I resisted and asked to try something less drastic, convincing him with the fact that my liver enzymes are elevated, in part from meds I have needed since having Conns Syndrome and the adrenal gland removal and Partial Kidney removal, all of which caused some liver and kidney damage I am trying to reverse with diet, lifestyle and exercise, plus gradually dropping meds. Methotrexate is killer on the liver.

So he promptly put me on low dose prednisone (hate it, makes me feel wiggy), and two drugs called DMARDS (Disease-modifying antirheumatic drugs - that can take months to work, if they even do) including Plaquenil which is an anti-malarial drug that they don't know why it helps a lot of RA sufferers and to ME, feels like it's burning through my stomach lining.
I had to stop the 4 per day dose of that and start over taking one for 2 weeks, then gradually introducing the full dose, one by one over weeks... plus Sulfasalazine a salicylate that reduces inflammation (and gives me rotten headaches) and again, they don't know why this often helps, but it supposedly does.

I fear what all this is doing to my poor liver and so far, 6 weeks in, I get no relief and in fact, seem to be rapidly getting worse, but I do have to give it 3 months to see if there is any benefit and I HAVE to try because DMARDS can sometimes bring on remission or partial remission, both of which I'LL TAKE !

There is more and "next steps", plus the funny side of it all (and yes, there is one), but I'll leave that for another day because the ol' digits are getting pretty bent out of shape in an angry sort of fashion, from all this typing.
:-)

People who have RA or live with an RA'er know all this and a WHOLE lot more, but this is just my story and because I don't really have anyone to talk to about it, I'm new to having to really, really "deal" with it and despite joining some support groups... no one seems to be able help me with information and "get it" and be willing to chat.... although my precious husband is a Rock and so there for me... but he doesn't know and hasn't walked in these shoes and is more in the dark than I am.

So onward and upward in the search to live my best life with this challenge.
Others with bigger challenges inspire me... my younger precious sister with MS, my teenage family friend with Epilepsy, my little boy who didn't get to grow up but smiled until the day he died... and of course my dear Mum who fought the good fight against cancer, with enormous grace and didn't ultimately win, but was the bravest person I've ever known.

This isn't my first challenge and won't be my last, so here we go.

Just Breathe..... and be careful with the fingers :-)

Dealing with challenges

2011-11-01T00:09:00.001-06:00

I want to ask those of you who don't have health challenges, to give some thought to how fortunate you are and that there is no excuse for you to be unhealthy.... Remembering healthy is not about what you weigh or your BMI, it's about your real numbers and knowing them and what you need to work on.
Blood pressure
Cholesterol numbers
Blood glucose levels (diabetes or pre-diabetic)
Liver Enzymes
Kidney function
And not a number, but lung function, as in, can you walk quite briskly at a long stride or slight incline for 10 minutes without getting pretty winded.

Those are the main ones in general that can give you a really good picture of your basic health, in an easy to grasp way and find where you can start making small changes so they become habit.. This is barring any other health problems that can skew numbers.

Get a note book, start there. Get simple blood tests and note the numbers and understand what they mean, ask to have them explained to you and what any abnormals could mean and if nothing is abnormal, you're ahead of the curve already.
Get a small inexpensive wrist BP monitor if your blood pressure is iffy and keep track of that too at least 3 times a week and note the numbers. Check it at the same time each day under the same circumstances, preferably when you have a routine relaxed time.

Then, give yourself a time limit, 6 months is good.
Keep notes, just once a week is fine and make some healthy changes.
Even if your numbers are good, make a change, just one at a time, like eating more organic fruit and veges, try cooking without packaged foods, discover your inner chef, limit junk food takeout to once a fortnight, increase your brisk walk time threshold ... Anything, then get your numbers rechecked in 6 months.
If they were good, they'll still be good and you know you've made some positive changes that have hopefully become life habits, if they were off, bet they have gotten better and then strive for even better.

Side effects? Good new habits and bet some weight falls off.

What have you got to lose?

And by the way, even if you have challenges such as a health issue like MS, RA, injuries, Pain, illness.... the recipe is the same.
BE AWARE and know that ANY good change for your body, no matter how small, if you commit to it, will help your challenge, even a little.

Just breathe
:-)
Chez

A lightbulb ?

2011-10-04T18:30:00.001-06:00

As Oprah would say, I just had a lightbulb moment.

I've become a fan of MORE magazine for women, as it has interesting articles and seemed geared toward real women that aren't necessarily 25 with model bodies and six figure disposable incomes.
I have a love hate thing with womens magazines, have all my life. They persist in ever more plastic airbrushed photoshopped ads and fashion spreads that make you feel inadequate ... (I love Julia Roberts and Drew Barrymore, but they DO NOT look anything like that... It looks so plastic, it's creepy and I think discredits the brands they advertise, but whatever), but I love reading, learning, LOVE fashion and am a known, admitted chronic product junkie, so you see the paradox.

Back to the point, reading More magazine this month (Naomi Watts on the cover), on page 162 is an article that may just change my life.
I can't find a link on More's website or anywhere else and no way I'm going to type the whole thing out with my arthritic fingers, but it's a game changer for me I think.
Pg 162
"Fat? Who Cares! A major expert (Linda Bacon, PhD), speaks out on how weight loss efforts are statistically futile- and how you can boost your health big time without dropping a pound"

Ok, so, you'll either have to google more about Linda Bacon (she's not the only one) and her research or buy the mag and read it yourself and see if it makes sense to you or buy her book, Health at any size.

What she said in that article made 100% perfect sense to me and flies in the face of conventionally held truths on why being overweight isn't good for you.... Which I have come to suspect quite a while ago anyway.

Being healthy has nothing to do with weight.

It has everything to do with what you put in your body, what you put your body and mind through and maintaining a decent level of activity AND although this wasn't really addressed in this smallish article, I think it's key to NOT stick your head in the sand about your real numbers (not the ones the medical community generalizes, like BMI). Know your BP, both cholesterol numbers, blood sugar and at least your basic blood panel for things like LFT (liver function), renal function, sed rate, etc.
This isn't about saying to hell with everything and embrace being fat, that's dumb, it's about being healthy and those numbers can tell you if you are or aren't and you can take non-dieting action to fix things... a side effect of fixing may actually be some weight loss, but it doesn't have to be, nor is required.

I do think severe morbid obesity, which was not addressed in the article or research, is the cut off where just the sheer stress of the weight and fat crowding internal organs, etc is just indisputable, but for say, women in that 160 - 250 pound range, there is a different way to look at your health and it has zero to do with the 95% proven failure rate of "diets".

I proved that last year when I lost just a small amount of weight and worked out 3 times a week with a trainer. My numbers in a medical sense were PERFECT as far as cholesterol, blood sugar, all blood work for liver, kidney function and a whole lot more... I dont smoke, drank less than one drink a month and didn't do anything that constitutes hazardous to my health, Yet my waist size, BMI and all that crap, generalized for the population, had me on paper as HUGELY FAT and unhealthy.

Make sense? No of course it didn't then or now but now at least I have a clue why and when I read the article again, probably get the book by Dr Bacon (yes, that was funny and she is, by the way, a slim thing and always has been), I suspect I will not only know, but start to believe what I've always suspected, that fat is pretty normal for a lot of us, diets are futile, the results never last, it's ok to be what society deems fat and there are some pretty easy ways to ensure you are healthy at any weight that are far more successful and achievable than "dieting".

More on this later as I find out more, but the research, studies and information is solid and I think it may have just changed everything for me.

Chez

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

What's been doin' lately to be healthier. Farm CSA

2011-09-13T15:19:00.000-06:00

So, what have we been doing to be healthier lately ?

This spring/summer and early fall, we've become experts at grilling organic veges and organic grass fed beef (done quite differently to grain fed because it's so much more lean and healthy), as well as grilled fish, chicken and the usual suspects.

We have a range of grilling pans for veges and fish from Williams Sonoma (because they have the ones with detachable handles so you can close the grill with them in there) and finally replaced our old grill with one that has a searing burner (BEST. THING. EVA.)

I make marinades and rubs so we know they are low sugar or no sugar and low sodium (Himalaya pink salt or Fleur de Sel only, see Touch of Europe for those and great pepper flavors like Wild Voatsiperifery pepper, plus vinegars, mustard and other stuff for making marinades and grilling sauces, they just have the best stuff and it goes a long way because it's good, concentrated and flavorful, not full of lame fillers)

Thus, the last 2 years in growing season (Spring thru Fall) we participated in a local organic Farm CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) at Isabelle Farm
The advantages of this ?
We pay $400 up front in January or February, so that the farmers can fill all their CSA spots, know how much to grow, plan their crops and varieties and get feedback from participants... even though no matter how whiney I am that we hate beets, we still get at least 3 bunches I don't know what to do with and can't give away... but back to the point.
So we pay, reserve our "share" (you can also get small and large shares, we get medium for 2 people big on veggies).

We get some really funky beans & stuff now and then too

At the same time they also offer fruit shares, coffee shares and organic grass fed beef shares. All local, organic and sustainably grown, but sourced from their trusted places near the farm, not on it.
This year we opted for a medium size grass fed beef share that had a variety of streaks, cuts, ground beef etc as well for $135 (we got a lot of prime USDA organic grass fed beef for that and it was AWESOME). This is picked up on designated dates you can choose and all at once. It's butchered at the farm one mile from us and flash frozen/labeled and packed up for you to take home.

The vege shares start in Spring and end when the pumpkins are done in later fall, with a weekly pick-up at the farm (or fruit/coffee, but we don't do those, we go to local farms on weekends and buy fruit for the week that we like, plus eggs and extra veges).
You just take a big tote or basket there and they have the shares written up on a board and you just help yourself to what your share is.
Like this week we get (according to the newsletter I got last night and get every week with what's in your share, recipes, farm news etc)

Potatoes about 3lbs
Slicing Tomatoes about 1.5lbs
Basil
Peppers small box full
Fresh Edamame
Mustard Greens and Kale Mix
Chili's
Melon (regular or cantaloupe.. no listeria in these organic cantaloupes)
Eggplants
4 ears corn

All that organic produce for about $20 or less a week we paid upfront (so nothing to pay during the season) and there's usually more when you get there because they pick the night before and that day, immediately cold wash everything to get the heat out of it to stop wilting and spoiling (this makes it last right through the week too, so you can choose what to dig into first), so you never know what else there will be when you show up with your big tote bag or basket.
BUT, other weeks and early season, it can be slim pickings, so it evens out and if the crop is destroyed, you get nothing, like last year, we got 2 ears of corn all season because it was so dry in Colorado. This year, we've got ears coming out of our ears.

This Thursday, we go to Wholefoods, where a local Boulder Chef will use things exclusively from our farm and make us a stunning 3 course sit down meal on the Patio for just $10 - and this is just one of a number of community dinners they hold each year. Sometimes they're vegetarian, sometimes not, but every one we could make it to has been extraordinary.
This one we will be having

First Course: Grilled Flat bread with Smoky Baba Ghanoush, Roasted
Chili Spread and Shisto Peppers with Manchego
Main Course: Eggplant with Polenta and Red Pepper
Coulis, and Braised Greens
Desert: Sweet Corn and Watermelon Granita

So I encourage you to do 2 things.

Find out about local CSA's in your area and see if it's for you OR local organic delivery services (we also use Door to Door Organics.. also GREAT value.

AND, explore making your own rubs, marinades, grilling sauces and braising flavor profiles and again, I can't recommend Touch of Europe enough for top quality ingredients to do this.

We are certainly healthier and a few pounds lighter JUST for doing this alone.

Ciao!

Just Breathe.....

Wow, it's been a while

2011-09-05T23:49:00.003-06:00

It's been a while indeed. My painful post last Christmas left me blog-phobic on personal matters, so the few other posts that came after that were more like crap you'd put on facebook (and in fact I did).

I thought I'd let this blog die. It's not like I have time to kill, writing on no less and 6 other blogs for myself or others quite apart from all my regular work for clients and then there's projects I would like to have guilt free time to do....
and it's not like my life is so interesting, but I did remember the joy of writing, good and bad things that were my personal stuff and not part of some ones marketing effort with "appropriate" subjects that were eminently digestible for the masses just to get it off my mind for the hell of it and occasionally giving back with good information and stuff.

This is my only personal, appropriate-be-damned, balls and all blog and it's time I started swinging them in the breeze a bit more, because there's a lot to tell, a lot to do and a lot I want to give, even if I'm the only one listening.

Thank you to anyone who still gets my feeds and reads. I appreciate you and hope I can entertain you again with pieces of my unexciting, but personal perspective, life again, regularly, soon.

Just Breathe.....

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T23:07:00.001-07:00

Wishing everyone love, peace and happiness in a great year ahead.

Take care of yourself, but never be hard on yourself.
Do the right thing by others, but don't forget to do the right thing for you.
Lastly, if you're not happy, only you can change that, but a little help never hurt either.

xxxx

Thank you for hanging out with me this year and hope to see you more next year.

Chez
Happy but looking forward to a healthier year ahead.

<3 - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Colorado

OMG did this really happen today?? Are Chrysler this horrible?

2010-12-28T23:05:00.002-07:00

Both of our cars broke today, same day.
I am distraught, no I'm much worse than that.
I just don't have the cash for one big repair, never mind two, (Mark's car we already know the quotes and had to tow it home from the stealership after giving them $100 to diagnose) as to why his car stopped dead and wouldn't start this morning at the post office and neither I nor AAA couldn't get it jump started, so it was towed to the dealership, us thinking it was still under warranty.

It's fifteen, yes JUST FIFTEEN DAYS out of warranty with only 25000 miles on it and the stealership said, too bad (I have filed a complaint with Chrysler corporate). It's one idiotic part they no longer put in cars because of massive complaints and problems I am sure, that takes an hour to install, but the part costs a huge amount of money. It must be new so it can be uniquely programmed (another fee on top) to the cars VIN, security systems, keyless entry etc.

So I run around all day in my Jeep taking care of all this ... my five year old, no problems but an oil change and blown fuse Jeep and.... it's engine light comes on, it barely starts, overheats and so god knows what's wrong with it and we just hope it lasts until I can scrape together thousands to fix Marks car, fix that one and hope I can find the problem in my Jeep and fix it cheaply.

I replaced all fuses tonight, changed oil in my Jeep (auto parts store wasn't delighted with me doing all this in front of their shop, but they sensed my mood and let me be), and I have given Mark strict driving and watching instructions to baby it.
Worse, we're about to finally get uber freezing temps and that never helps cars in distress.

But mostly I'm floored at the warranty situation. No notification from Chrysler the the PT was running out of warranty (we thought it was January when it was registered to us and well under the 36000 miles) no offer to extend although we get service offer and new car info mail from them all the time (and we'd intended to do an extended warranty for his PT as we bought it with a lifetime drivetrain warranty and intended to drive it into the ground) so, we find out it expired 15 days ago, although we're 10000 miles under and the stealership just says too bad. Not even interested in trying to help, explaining any avenues we could try, nothing. Rude.

However, swing chickens for me that my complaint case helps, because the General Manager of the Stealership called tonight and said he "heard" of my dissatisfaction late today (read, got the complaint case from corporate) and said they are going to do all they can tomorrow to see if Chrysler will honor warranty conditions to help us out.
I am not holding my breath, I think this is to mollify the complaint, but whateva.

I'm still shocked and pissed off beyond.

Chez
<3 - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Off the beaten writing path

2010-12-26T01:02:00.001-07:00

A departure from the health stuff I usually write about.

This is rambling, abstract junk while I feel upset.

Totally feel free to skip it, because I just need to write and ramble, it's cathartic. It's just for me really.

Why put it out on the great wide web ? Cause I don't care and I just know someone out there, knows EXACTLY what I'm saying in my cryptic, senseless rambling.

It floats through my currently hurt, upset, put-out thoughts to beware the shifting sands of what you thought was solid.

You think I'd have learned this by now and to a degree I have, which is why I have few close friends and (thought) I chose them carefully. Family you can't choose, but at 46 and change, you think you also know about as much as you're gonna know about the closest ones.

Not so.

No wonder I am essentially a loner and have sometimes, long quiet, anti-social hermit jags (and there's one coming on now for sure)

It seems I can easily withdraw, slam up walls, wrap a protective shell around me and withdraw, but THEN I can't seem to help peeking out again and opening up at some point, despite knowing better.

There is a veritable slew of Freudian reasons why I do this, I'm sure, but I am tiring of it. I really get the eccentric loner withdrawn people, but I think you have to be rich and have a big old dark house and a creepy reputation and I am woefully deficient in those areas.

Then there's the social, outgoing, confident me, who although I'll say "I like dogs better than people" and this is for the most part true, I do like connecting with people, having a best friend, good friends, family who gives a damn and all that stuff.

But maybe it's all over-rated. I wasn't unhappy without all that during past extended (years) withdrawn hermit periods, in fact I just made (sometimes grudgingly) the bare social requirements and was happier alone, but I was working through a tremendous amount of heavy stuff then.

I'm not depressed, although you'd be forgiven for thinking that.

I am frustrated, hurt, puzzled, confused and yes, selfish. I selfishly want the things I think are solid, dependable to be that way and the people I thought were that way, to consistently regard me as important enough to be considerate enough not to constantly kick me under the carpet and put everything else first, even when understand that I get they may do things I can't deal with or suddenly not be available because I have (even quite rightly sometimes) slid down the list out of circumstance or necessity.

I am very upfront with people about what I won't do and what comes first, ie: I will never go away overnight without Mark whilst he works or has to hold down the house, for my own pleasure. He would never, ever do it to me and I won't to him. We are a team, we actually WANT to be together all the time and this may seem clingy or co-dependent to some, we don't care. Not even a bit.

I tell people I get in anti-social moods, especially when I'm dealing with stuff, so never take it personally when I say no to something.

I am very loyal and expect consideration, if not loyalty, and part of that loyalty is understanding that even when I have "stuff", I am still there for them, available to them, will know when I've pushed that limit of letting them slide too far down the list and explain that I am perfectly cool to kick them back up the list in a blink because no matter other people, stuff, or what's pulling me, THEY are important too.

I also wonder why grown-ups can't be grown ups. Especially when they chose and mapped their life which included others that had no choice. Do they not understand that by their childish, pig headed, behavior, deliberate disengaging, it hurts such a chain reaction of people. People who were supposed to be their LIFE. To so suddenly turn around an just dismiss your LIFE for a new one, one with people who seem bent on also being childish and again, not a grown up in a situation that called for some compassion, grace and swallowing your own inner shrew, is, was and still mind blowing to me.

I am a solid atheist and don't believe in Karma etc, but if I did, I'd like to see this one bite hard.... but then again not, because I can be a grown up (sometimes) and "get it" even if I can't stand the taste of "it" in my craw.

I still don't understand how a parent 100% forgets and ignores my birthday, blows his whole family off for Christmas, including the once precious grandchildren. The person who, in so many peoples eyes now is NOT the person anyone knew for 50 years, not the honorable man, not the man of integrity, but I think I've always known the coldness, the criticle, the never-good-enough part, the ability to switch his "love" off ... all for a person who he barely knows and who has done nothing but cause problems (that "not being a grown up with compassion and grace"), since day one and only argued back and got nasty until it was just too late to fix. The chain reaction was devastating and continues. But he doesn't and won't care because my Mothers long legacy of scrimping and suffering is now just being blown on some happy new life that includes only those who will agree with him, worse still, he bad mouths his daughters to others and even says it about the money. SCREW the money, it never was or will be, but when we broadly talk about and encompass our Mothers "legacy", he boils it down to that. So shallow. I don't talk about him disparagingly, until now, because I'm done.

This also is nothing new, but I am still in shock I think... that's actually just been a lightbulb over my head. I am still grieving for my Mum because I could NOT for the first 18 months while propping him up, keeping him from suicides door and listen to hurtful things he would say and let them just go. So now am also in shock and grieving the loss of him to ABSOLUTE STUPIDNESS, because he is stubborn, has no respect and I think I now know and can say out loud that, deep down, he is uncaring of anything that is not going his way after making a small token effort. He's over it. Well, I'm over it too..... oh and so are my loving parents-in-law, which he still seems to suck up to and think they care and would welcome him... they wouldn't.

So it's a sad Christmas night for me, once my wonderful husband has gone to bed & taken the happy light of our holidays together with him and left me with my emotions and thoughts.

A trainwreck of feelings, not surprising tonight, but bubbling for a while now like a genie trying to get out of a bottle... tonight a vitriol of words that have grown from a small toy train into a roaring locomotive spewing steam (both talking and crying out loud to myself and here on my blog), tears, hurt, anger and more, missing Mum, missing life as it was with her in it and the huge hurtful changes that followed without her in it, missing and lately feeling blown off by another so dear to me and again wondering if I really am just selfish or if it's that I really am not as important or worth it, (to anyone but Mark), that I thought I was or would like to be.

Of course, being insulted my entire childhood and adult life does not make for an open, happy heart or a lot of confidence in ones lovable-ness I guess.

I don't know the answers to any of it and it will fade back behind my day to day happy and good life in no time and with a quiet hermit spell of time.

But this writing was almost a compulsion tonight. Sometimes a purge is a really good thing (see, still finding a bright side).

I have to stop now, I am just exhausted and need to read or watch something mindless and neutral, eat (of course), but without guilt tonight.

I wish you all peace and happiness and if that eludes you, then something like it

What's new pussycat... a new 10 ? Yep

2010-11-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

Nothing new for this pussycat actually (not right now anyway, although I'm slammed working lately), which leaves me to do what I like to do in the evenings, write, read and not stress about health stuff.

So what to write about you ask?
I have just the thing. I'm doing this, it works and I am now only 11 pounds away from my lowest weight this year [the day of my April surgery-from-hell], after all my hard work with a trainer, gym and good food in the preceding 6 months.

Don't know if you guys love, like or detest Dr Oz, but I am loving his new, REALLY SIMPLE "Just 10 Challenge" program.
I'm fine with complicated nutrition information, equations and all that [my Doctors admit I know more about nutrition than they do], but I do love this because it really is IDIOT PROOF.
Simple, thus no real effort ... until that is, you keep butting up against the one "rule or commandment" that has always been the bain of your existence and, in my case I swear, inherited.

But to get going...
Just lose 10 pounds by following 10 really simple rules to keep you on track.
The impact 10 pounds has on a person's health, 200 pounds or less is astonishing, I mean really frackin eye-opening extreme.
If you're over 200, it's still great because, then you just do another 10... and another, because you've got the rules down now anyway, right? Every 10 adds years to your life and the quality of it.

You get the picture. Below are Dr Oz's 10 commandments, some a little embellished by me to give you more ideas or info to get going and keep going for 10, 20, 50, whatever you need to do. Be Serious about your health people, but simple about how to do it.

So... start with just 10

1. Thou Shalt Not Wear Pants that Stretch

Your daily clothing is an early-warning system for weight gain. When it's getting hard to snap your jeans, you know it's time to be vigilant. Wearing stretchy clothes allows you to live in ignorance of how your body is growing, making it easier to pack on pounds without knowing it. Track pants for hanging out at night don't count, but buy them smaller than you think you need.

2. Thou Shalt Not Keep Fat Clothes in Your Closet

When you keep the clothes you wore at an unhealthy weight, it gives you a back-up plan if the pounds don't come off. Instead, force yourself to stay on track by 86'ing your "fat pants."

3. Thou Shalt Not Eat Meat That Walks on Four Legs More Than Once a Week

Meat that comes from an animal with 4 legs is higher in saturated fat (the unhealthy kind) than that which comes from 2-legged animals such as chickens, turkey, or animals with no legs, like fish, shellfish, tinned proteins like sardines or tuna in olive oil or spring water. Plus: women who eat large amounts of red meat (4 legged animal meats), more than once a week have a 50% higher chance of dying from heart disease and have higher cancer rates. Oh and buy organic. Please?

4. Thou Shalt Not Graze

Plan your meal before you open the refrigerator, get what you need, and close the door. Opening it throughout the day leads to impulsive choices and overeating. Also pack lunches and snacks in little ziploc bags for a week or a few days at a time. This cuts down on grazing and inventive meal creating with cream cheese, leftover pork roast, cold baked potatoes, piled with butter, cheddar and bread on the side..... just sayin'

5. Thou Shalt Not Eat After 7:30pm (the bain of my particular existence and an inherited trait)

When you eat late at night you are more likely to be eating in front of the TV (when you won't pay attention to how much you're putting in your mouth) and you're more likely to pick high-calorie snacks, plus you're not working it off with activity, unless you count snoring or operating the remote.

6. Thou Shalt Not Pile Food More than 1 Inch High or Within 2 Inches of the Plate Edge

Larger portions equal more calories. OR get smaller plates. 'Nuff said.

7. Thou Shalt Not Chew Food Less than 20 Times Per Bite

Chewing allows your body to realize that you are eating food, prompting it to create a sensation of fullness at the appropriate time. When you don't chew enough, you get ahead of that process, eating well past when you are actually satisfied. Another great trick is to eat one regular organic apple 15 mins before lunch or dinner. The benefits are two-fold.. fuller when you eat your meal to start with and natural apples pack fiber and antioxidants.

8. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Plate

Spend your day nibbling bites on someone else's sandwich or afternoon snack, and you will add on 1,000 calories easy.

9. Thou Shalt Not Carry Small Bills

Nothing loves a small bill better than a vending machine or a drive through fast food joint. When you have them at the ready, you are one step closer to an impulsive, calorie-loaded afternoon slip up.

You MUST give up fast food and soda/soft drinks, you're never gonna lose or keep weight off.

Don't skip meals though...keep long lasting fruit in your car and desk drawer (just don't forget about it.... eeeyyyeeeewww)

10. Thou Shalt Not Eat While Standing Up

Eating sitting down enables you to be aware of what you're eating and eat it slowly so that your body can tell you your full before it's too late.

My final rule. Stop weighing yourself and let your jeans be your guide. It's waist size that counts for health (yes, vanity aside, it's that simple... your waist size should never be more than half your height. Forget BMI and all that stuff, it's this simple).

Not rocket science..... just easy. Give it a whirl. Let me know how you do. Get 10 under the belt (or out from under it), then treat yourself to some luxurious dark chocolate (only dark though, it's actually really good for you in the correct portion size and the really good stuff can convert any milk chokkie lover to the dark side)

Divine Gourmet Imported Chocolate

If you want to do the whole 10 program online, go here and sign up, there's a LOT of good info and even if you just retain a few tips, it's a good start.
http://members.doctoroz.com/challenge/the-just-10-challenge

Ciao !

Recent test results and interesting stuff

2010-10-28T23:34:00.000-06:00

Well, after all that testing to try and find out what is wrong with my abdominal area that was causing the strange excruciating pain on odd days when I drank cold fluids, it's stopped. I had the endoscopy, they found a small hiatal hernia which, because I never have heartburn or reflux, I elected not to even explore having THAT fixed at this point... and I've had one small episode the day after that since. Nothing since then, Not even a twang.
*sigh* So in theory I could have saved a LOT of money and stress on those tests, but then we'd never have been aware of the coronary artery calcification.

As for that, I had the Nuclear Heart Stress Test, duly approved by the insurance company, follow by a Heart Echocardiograph (heart ultrasound basically) and saw the Cardiologist Tuesday afternoon and I DON'T NEED A STENT or ANY INTERVENTION !
There is calcification there and I shouldn't have it at my age, but given my long history (since my 20's) of unexplained high blood pressure, which we now know was from the Conns Syndrome and some previous bad habits, all of which I ditched a very long time ago and replaced in the last 10 years with fanatical healthy eating and environmental habits.
So, the calcification is small and it's not IN the arterys, but rather under the artery lining. This is good if you MUST have plaque in the pipes.
I don't even need medications at this point, given that there is a history, both my own clinical and family to explain it and my current cholesterol (perfect) and blood pressure as well as lifestyle are perfect or close to.

(This is the "interesting stuff) .. What they do want to do now is get me this coolio intensive blood test done, called a Berkley Heartlab Blood Panel, which is soooo comprehensive analyzing your lipid/cholesterol panel and [I'm having] the DNA component that affects your lipids/heart/weight etc, to the nth molecule, that it's hard to splain, but essentially it will tell the doctors whether I could use medications, such as plavix or lipitor to stop any further plaquing [or not] and if I have the so called obesity gene and what my DNA responds to by way of foods and nutrients, like whether a lot of good fats are perfect for me or no fats or red wine is my go-to cure or all sorts of really interesting things to help you understand what might be holding you back from heart and weight health issues and what could help.
I also have to have my carotid arteries ultrasounded (quick little scan) for plaquing because of my own and family history of stroke and/or plaque/heart issues. This is a very standard test just to make sure I don't have calcifications/plaque there that could chip off and cause a stroke.

Other than those things, which are precautions or exploratory informational, he said I'm actually in very good shape, given my excellent living habits and despite all those years of Conns syndrome and all the crap I've been through in the last year. All my blood results and levels are perfect, lungs are good BP is great, heart is strong and pushing plenty of volume.
My living and environmental habits are excellent (they given you very long quizzes about this and I got perfect scores for knowledge and practice) . He said he wished all his heart patients could tell him more about nutrition than he knows himself, like I seem to do and practice, but he said that requires effort and people would rather be lazy, get takeout and take a pill.
I pointed out that I could be lying out my ass, but he said the blood tests would have sprung me. I have perfect cholesterol, liver, kidney function, glucose levels blah blah blah...

I'm for avoiding pills like the plague, so his only request was to get my waist size down, but slowly because of my surgery and recent abdominal issues around the surgical area... he said just go with increasing exercise as I can, because there was nothing he could tell me to do with my eating and supplements [take fish or krill oil supplements people !]. He doesn't care about the pounds, just the abdominal fat that can cause more harm than any other body fat (I did know that one from watching Dr Oz ... your waist size should never be greater than half your height... didya know that?) my Cardio concurred. It's myth that you can spot reduce fat on your body, but exercise and general weight reduction will generally drop from the belly fat first and fastest because it's stored in the omentum, which is very accessible to fat use by the body (but that's the same reason it's the biggest indicator and contributor to diabetes and pouring fat and cholesterol into the blood to cause heart and artery problems.

Paula.... you're right, I should go to med school.. lol, but starting education all over again at my age for THAT long... hell no. ( A science undergrad degree 4 years, pre-med 2 years, med school 4 years, internship 4 years, THEN you get to residency and do Doctor stuff... noooo thanks. I'll be dead of old age before I get to see a patient by myself). In other new though, I am looking into becoming an Esthetician with a special interest in Dermatology and Asthetics. That I can do in a year but the tuition fee is HORRIBLE !

In signing off, thank you for all the support over a stressful period, it's truly appreciated. I'm just glad [given my recent luck with medical issues], that it turned out to be a non-event for both recent problems.

I look forward to getting the results back from this groovy heartlab test and I can even take a class to learn to read it and understand the results ! Cool.

Ok, off to walk off some belly fat

Just Breathe.....

You can fail a stress test ??

2010-10-18T13:18:00.000-06:00

Failed the stress test. Really? You can fail a stress test ? Don't think I've ever actually failed a "test" in my life.

Insurance wouldn't authorize a nuclear stress test, so they made me do the brutal treadmill one and I failed it, incomplete because I had an asthma attack and they had to stop it. Mu BP was also through the roof... Asswipe Health Insurance Company.
Now I get to have the bloody nuclear test this Friday, as well as a heart echo test and see the Cardiologist next week, we'll have the full picture then and I'll know what they recommend.
I am just freaked by the co-pays I'm gonna have to pay for all these tests and procedures lately for the part insurance doesn't cover.. bleh... there's some "stress" for ya.

That's about all the news I have, cept the tummy pain has been very minimal, so perhaps I had all those nasty tummy tests for nothing, until I realize that by doing all that, they caught the changes in my heart arteries.
See, there's always an upside

Another small update.

2010-10-11T12:53:00.000-06:00

Further to my previous post.

The Cardiologist took a loot at either my CT scan or the report and either way says it warrants a Nuclear Stress Test... *sigh* I SO despise treadmills, makes my back hurt and I've had this one before years ago and it's on and off the treadmill and in and out of a CT scanner like a yo yo so they can track your blood flow and see if it's being impeded by the or a blockage.
So that's this Friday afternoon and depending on results, they'll call me for how soon to see the Cardio Doc.

Endoscope shoved down my gark tomorrow afternoon, but at least apparently they give you good drugs, cause they told me to bring a driver *grin*

Ciao !
C

Just Breathe.....

New medical drama. This is getting old.

2010-10-08T17:37:00.000-06:00

I'll try keep this short because it's all kind of new, but thought a blog post will save me telling my loved friends and sister over and over in emails etc.

Right so most of you know that I've been having excruciating abdominal pain episodes (if you know all about this, skip to RESULTS).. for about 2 months now, which come and go with no rhyme or reason and last one to 4 days. The problem with it is, that on days when I have the episodes (as I call them), I feel very fatigued, sick..... and the biggie, I almost scream in pain (from my upper left abdomen) when I drink any fluid. No problems with food, although I don't feel like eating much. however, not drinking leads to dehydration (quite apart from the pain), which landed me in the ER getting IV fluids to take care of my kidney and on doctors doorsteps wanting answers.

RESULTS
So I have a CT Scan with swallowed contrast fluids and IV contrast dye yesterday. Not pleasant, but Mark took me and it was quicker than we thought and fine.
Results today.
No abcess, no encroaching scar tissue on any organs, no organ damage, a small hernia by my belly button, but not the problem causing my ab pain, actually not even in the same general area and it's small. I do have a small pocket of unexplained fluid near the problem area, but they don't know what it is and it's highly unlikely that it's the problem. No apparent stomach cancer or tumors (YAY).
So now I have to have a scope shoved down my throat into my Tummy on Tuesday to see if they can eyeball anything. If they find nothing, I get to swallow one of those flashing camera capsules that travel through the gastro system taking film of my innards all the way (which is kind of cool).

So we're still investigating, however there was something else they found as an aside, but it's a bit frightening.

Apparently after all my efforts to reverse so much heart damage of 20 years of high blood pressure from having Conns Syndrome..... giving up smoking years ago, getting my cholesterol perfect, exercising, dropping some weight and eating like a heart healthy fanatical organic health freak for years and only about 4 drinks a year, I now have a calcification of a cardiac artery.
*sigh* HOW CAN THAT BE ?? I was told I had reversed so much damage at my last heart check before my surgery. My EKG is perfect, as is cholesterol and all other blood numbers.

Unfortunately, the CT report noted it but not the percentage of occlusion, however, any amount needs to be taken seriously and I now have to have new cardiac workups and get that fixed, so Cardiology is calling me Monday with a plan of tests etc.
I have NO clue if this might be treated with medication or surgery or what. I'm hoping medication, at least to start with, but not a clue at this point.

SO there ya have it. Seriously, this is getting old (so am I apparently) and I just have to smile and grind through it all.

I'll keep you posted.

CheZ the Bwoken One.

Just Breathe.....

Update time

2010-10-08T17:02:00.001-06:00

Ok, I'm gonna kind of gloss over the past months since April when I had surgery except for a couple of things.

First, recovery is taking much longer than I estimated and after 2 months when I thought I felt pretty darn good and took on a big project for a friend (see below), it turned out to be a bit premature on the idea of "recovered"

Secondly, I haven't been able to get back to working out with a Trainer both for financial reasons, but mostly because I'm just unable and advised not to by the Doc. I do walk, do some Yoga and try to stretch and be active, but nothing strong or fun.

I have put a few of my pounds back on, about 10 maybe because inactivity and feeling blah tends to make one look for comfort food AND I had a terrible ice cream addiction for a few weeks during summer, I was like jones'ing for crack, but ice cream was the crack. Got that under control, but I honestly think it was good for the 10 pounds, it was so bad.

Kicked the crack and am stable again now eating my normal healthy stuff (that never changed, even the ice cream was organic..lol)

So here's a before, during and after on the project I did for a friend, which involved tearing out tiled countertops and tiled wall back splash which tore out the walls with the tile, no way around that. So we cut and installed new walls of cement board (being a kitchen area, we wanted moisture barrier.. cement hardie board much harder to deal with than sheetrock drywall, but better), did all the wall taping, mudding, sanding & smoothing etc (I got really good at that) ready to re-tile with a new back splash.

Then the counter top pros cam in and installed Kim and Kev's gorgeous granite counters, then I got in after them and re-tiled the back splash with gorgeous tumbled marble, chocolate glass feature tiles and feature listellos as well. I had a great crew including most of Kims family at one time or another in the project, especially Nick who rocked the handyman stuff once he knew how and of course, Handy-Mark after work when he could. 4 days start to finish.

Here's the before , during, after photos.

In the beginning, there was a white kitchen with ugly pinkish white counters and back splash (the floors are nice hardwood, but I had Kim tape flooring paper down to protect it during demo and construction).

Me and (after work) Handy-Mark late into the night tearing out walls or putting in new ones, not sure, but I was head contractor on this one with a great crew and we got it done with very few hiccups (well, ok a few, but nothing insane) !

The finished product and the photo doesn't do it justice... turned out gorgeous and the crew and I did a great job if I say so myself and saved some friend thousands in labor costs... Now I just gottta get my OWN kitchen done... soon.

Ciao !

Quick Chicken Tostadas

2010-08-18T16:55:00.000-06:00

Just posting some fave recipes for a while until I can get back into a rhythm for yap-blogging.

QUICK CHICKEN TOSTADAS - High Fiber, Sugars Conscious, Very Healthy.

Try to use organic or "natural" ingredients as much as possible, especially for the chicken itself.

Serves 4

Picking up prepared foods, like a natural or organic rotisserie chicken, and combining them with fresh items produces a great meal in minutes. Assemble these tostadas for a crunchy, savory and amazingly fast dinner. Make your own tostadas by brushing corn or wholewheat tortillas with a bit of olive oil first, then baking them in a 400°F oven, flipping once, until crisp.

Ingredients

8 tostadas (crispy whole corn tortillas)
1 cup refried beans
12 ounces shredded rotisserie chicken meat
1 ripe avocado, peeled, pitted and sliced into wedges
1 cup grated pepper jack cheese
1 cup thinly sliced romaine lettuce
1 cup chunky salsa or diced tomatoes

Method

Preheat oven to 350°F. Arrange tostadas on a baking sheet in a single layer and bake until hot, 3 to 5 minutes. Meanwhile, heat beans and chicken separately in the microwave or in small pots on the stove until hot throughout.

Spread tostadas with beans, then top with avocado slices, chicken, cheese, lettuce and salsa and serve immediately.

Nutrition

Per serving (about 12oz/329g-wt.): 490 calories (210 from fat), 23g total fat, 8g saturated fat, 95mg cholesterol, 900mg sodium, 35g total carbohydrate (9g dietary fiber, 3g sugar), 38g protein

Still alive

2010-06-22T12:03:00.002-06:00

Just a short post to say I'm still alive. Lots has been happening, none of it earth shattering, but I'll tell about some of it in the coming week.

For now, I am not back at Personal Training, although I now workout at home a little now with my hand weights, yoga mat, balance ball and stretchy resistance thingos. I haven't gained or lost weight, which given how long my sedentary recovery was, it's pretty ok I think.
I have restarted my stricter eating this week that's aimed at losing weight as opposed to what I've been doing since early April. But hey, at least I know now what works for maintenance for me and has been a perfectly non-deprived way to live, so that's actually really encouraging.

Now I am deciding whether to forgo personal training and the Gym where that has to be done at.... and try to go at it myself in our local (literally 90 second drive or 10 min walk away) gym at the new community center?
Or do personal training again for a while to push myself to at least the shape I was in before I broke my foot, which given what I did last week (see post later this week), would probably happen pretty quickly.
I dunno, I'm taking this week to decide because I don't honestly feel motivated about either option and the steenkin arthritis is just murderous lately, especially on stormy days, which is about every day in Colorado right now.

Anyway, that said, opinions, experiences with this or any ideas are welcome.

I'll post later this week about some other stuff I've been up to.

Ciao!
C

Just call me special....

2010-04-23T13:06:00.001-06:00

No really, I am.
Let me tell you why.. it's nothing sexy or glam, it's to do with my pathology report on my adrenal gland and kidney, post surgery.

First and foremost, it's not cancer. YAY !! It had all the hallmarks, a tumor in one organ, invading another organ, but I was always positive about this because I had this tumor soooooo long, it would have killed me long ago if it were cancer, but the confirmation is nice.

So what was it ?
it was

Intrarenal ectopic adrenal tissue and renal–adrenal fusion

the following published paper cites 9 known cases (and that's all my pathologist and surgeon could find as well).
I am now number 10 of all known cases.

:) ... see ... Special *wink*

http://www.nature.com/modpathol/journal/v22/n2/full/modpathol2008162a.html

Anyway, so it's interesting, but now that it's out, it's of no big significance to me now really, cept my CU Professor/Surgeon may do a paper on me. Kind of cool though.

I'm doing better each day, but this recovery has been the toughest I've ever had with anything medical. I keep getting reminded that kidney surgery, specially when they remove a fifth of it, it some of the most painful surgery you can have and it will take time, so I just gotta take my time I guess
I am being kind to myself and just focused on getting well, back to normal and back into my healthy lifestyle again.. takin' it easy. Went to lunch with K yesterday and have made some small trips out on my own this week. It's all progress.

Bummer though that none of my pants are wearable right now, except stretch-waist track pants. Bleh.
Oh well, all in good time.

Thanks again for all the continuing love and support, it means a lot :)

Ciao !
C

No road is too long when the company is good...

Getting better, but no there yet.

2010-04-14T00:44:00.001-06:00

Wow; not so great the last few days

So further to my post the other day and to expand a little....

I went to hospital Friday morning, checked in at 5.30 for my 7.30 surgery and got prepped, met all the Doctors and all that, so it was all looking great for everything to go smoothly remove my dicky adrenal gland with the lump and get out by the next night or possibly Sunday Morning

Off we go to the OR

5 hours of surgery, 2 hours of ICU recovery and 2 hours of regular recovery room later, there I lay in a hospital bed, pukey, painful and my fog brain was finally processing that something had been very unexpected and not good... not for planned at all.

Turned out the Tumor/lump that we thought was causing the problem was not only in my adrenal glad causing problems, but it had grown down into my kidney underneath as well.
Oh dear

Bummer. That can't be good right ?
Nope, it definitely wasn't.

This then entailed a 5 hour surgery, a Urologist Surgeon being called in to cut, take out all the tumor invading the kidney, remove a fifth of kidney itself and repair as well as Dr MacIntyre, my chief surgeon, not only removing adrenal gland and tumor, but assisting in kidney surgery.

So, Far from a gentle laproscopic surgery, they had to cut me open about 8 inches around my waistline on the left and remove 20% of my kidney (you can lose about 40-50 % before you'll need dialysis apparently).
They also had a whole team of Student Doctors have to move my bowel, spleen & pancreas around to get at everything, then put it all back, stuck in a drain to internally take off the leaked blood & fluids around my kidney (which I still have here at home and have to record & empty each day myself, not a big deal, but gross for the next 2 weeks), then stitch or staple up all the holes and cuts they made in me.
I still have the drain because they tested the fluid after a few days of it being strange colored and apparently Pancreatic unactivated enzymes are leaking from my pancreas into the cavity left by my "reduced" left kidney and this indicates probably mild pancreatitis from a bit of trauma in the Op Room. They don't know for sure, they just want to do it's thing, heal up and keep an eye (we me to) on the fluid color and output for 2 weeks.

So, 5 days and a massive amount of pain and drugs later, not to mention at least 1,472 doctors and therapists buzzing around me, I am finally home this afternoon after a lot of insisting yesterday.... instead of last Sunday afternoon as planned. I LOVE my home with my friends, doggies and of course Super-Mark.

I am still very painful, weak, shaking & sick ....... much worse than my hysterectomy 2 years ago, my head is a permanent fog (feels like it right now anyway... it's taken me hours to type this tonight) and I was in very bad shape for a few days there, but I'm looking forward to better sleeps, better food and hurting a little less each day.

I'll type about mundane thing in a few days I hope, when I feel more up to it.

A BIG thank you and hugs to my Spectacular Mark, Kim, my sister, my friends and Marks family and co-workers for so much support, flowers, cards, helps and all that jazz. *smooch*. It's meant a lot

Ciao and take care.. I am going to attempt to go to bed and stay alseep now for more than an hour, cause last time I checked, no one here is gonna wake me up every hour to poke me with something.. lol

Here I Lay

2010-04-10T18:19:00.001-06:00

Here I lay in a hospital bed, pukey, painful, but slowly improving given that the surgery wasn't as planned at all.

Turned out the Tumor was not only in my adrenal gland causing problems, but it had grown down into my kidney.
Bummer.
This then entailed a 5 hour surgery, a Urologist Surgeon as well as Dr Mac my chief surgeon and far from laproscopic, they had to cut me open and remove 20% of my kidney.

More tomorrow as I feel less nauseous.

Just Breathe.....

Big week & then some

2010-04-08T11:54:00.000-06:00

Well, I know I've been slack on posting, but I've had kind of a lot on my plate.

Tomorrow I go in at the delightful hour of 5.30 am !!!!! for my adrenal gland removal surgery (finally.. years in the making, this epic).

Today I'm just doing some laundry, then later today, going to relax at the Salon and get my hair cut, styled and a manicure etc. After that, a light meal and cuddle up with my hubby before an early night, so I'm good to go. I tiny bit nervous, but I'm in real good hands at this facility, with Dr McIntyre, Professor of Surgery at CU, being my surgeon.
http://www.ucdenver.edu/about/denver/Pages/AnschutzMedicalCampus.aspx

Now, the broken foot news. It's healed great according to my Ortho yesterday and I can wear normal shoes again now, but no high heels for a while (rats). He also addressed my still really painful ankle that has a lot of tissue damage and look at my unhurt ankle and said I absolutely will need surgery to correct the pronation on both, which are almost at deformity and will certainly cripple meat some point. Oh well, I knew that was coming sometime, so I will probably wait until Summer is over and get the right one done later this year at least, but at least I'm mobile without aids again now :)

Weight Loss: Ok, so I put on about 5 pounds all up during my early immobility with the broken toe and foot.. didn't fall off the good eating wagon, but no exercise and a bit too much consoling chocolate at night did its tricks on me.
However, I did go back to the gym about 2 weeks ago and started training with weights and boxing, plus keeping the chocolate down to 150 cals worth only of DARK choc a night and I've lost all the gain, plus a bit. I've also got my strength back, which I'll need to baby my torso after tomorrow and make a quick surgical recovery.

Elbow is hanging in there and quite bearable now (with the enforced rest), but it still hurts and it's still shredded, so that is next after surgery recovery.

All in all, aside from some irrational family drama which has been stressing me and makes me shake my head (I'm done with it now, I've realized some things will never change and some people will never compromise), I'm good and in a good place.
It was a bummer our Muse concert got cancelled this week because the roadies couldn't get the show over Vail Pass when snow shut it down, but it's been rescheduled for October, so that's cool.
Black eyed peas concert with K last Saturday night was AWESOME !!

Everyone stay safe, don't yap on your phone while driving and keep up the good health changes !

Me this week before going to the ~~Muse Concert~~.. ehhh Dinner in the end.

and THIS is Kim's wonky shot of us using my phone at the Black Eyed Peas Concert.. lol

Ciao

Just Breathe.....

Just some photo's of our project

2010-03-18T13:12:00.000-06:00

Ok, before I got all broken (and arguably the cause of it), here's some photo's of our Flooring Project that I talked about in my post " http://newchez.blogspot.com/2010/02/successful-project.html "

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Ok, finally all carpet, tack strip, glue, linoleum and floor staples are up and out and we're good to go... Monty makes a run for it while Mark just watches me work.

First hurdle taken care of with minimum pain.. folks, we have a STRAIGHT LINE thanks to the math wiz and the 3-4-5 method. I have got the hang of the big ass pneumatic floor nailer (dude, it's LOUD).

Getting a rhythm now and we've got down the hall, around the stairs and into the "great room" (lol).

Movin' stuff around, piling the wood to see what needs to go next.. we had to unbox and sort each box as we went, because the style we bought was random lengths, which is a really nice look, but (note to self, don't do this again), it's really time consuming making "random" look random.

Getting ready for the last stretch (he's a great little housewife). There's my big orange floor nailer. I hammered 1500, 2 inch floor staples into this floor with that thing... this sucker is NEVER coming up.

To be fair, Mark did all the hard stuff, like heavy lifting and rubber malleting every single tounge and groove board into perfect place on his knees, cutting all the edges and angles, modifying boards when I misfired a floor nail we couldn't get out, but by gum, I nailed and stapled every single nail and did all the finish work. Blisters all round on the hands for us both, even with thick gloves.

Monty inspecting the almost finished floor as I started with the 1/4 round finishing.

AND... We're DONE !!

Starting to put everything back, tidy up and re-decorate, but love the finished product and the quality we achieved.... shame I broke my foot on the final clean up 3 days later *sigh*

So... our biggest "home improvement" so far.We were a great team and are really chuffed with ourselves.. we actually had a really good time doing it together and not a single snitch.. lol. I think the secret was designated different, but equal work load tasks so neither of us was micromanaging the other or goofing off. Worked for us anyway.

Next project is to tile the 300 sq ft kitchen floor with large format stone. Anyone have a used working wet-saw to sell ??? No rush, not doing that job for a few months yet.

:-)

Happy Anniversary to Us :)

2010-03-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

11 wonderful years today at sunset.

We had a great day :) Mark snuck out at 7am this morning while I was sleeping and got me a dozen gorgeous unusual roses. Then he insisted we go to the Coach Store and I take back the pink/brown bag I got last time and get the one I REALLY wanted this time instead of just settling because of price, so I got a GORGEOUS Zoey Optic C bag and a bright yellow Poppy wristlet.

(I gave him a 24 inch new HD computer monitor and he's still piddling himself over how great it is and how he can see his music lines all across one screen now.. lol).

Then we did a bit of decor browsing/shopping, came home for a bit, then went to dinner at the Parkway Grill where K and I went for lunch just recently and they remembered me !! LOL, the owner met us at the door and said, "hey, no chair no, looking good". Great meal and it's was packed busy, but the owners both kept coming and chatting and it was just loverly.

Loved it. I love being married to my guy, having fun with him and every year is just icing on my life :) .

Here's my gorgeous new bag