<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="no"?><!--Generated by Site-Server v@build.version@ (http://www.squarespace.com) on Mon, 13 Apr 2026 19:43:52 GMT
--><rss xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:media="http://www.rssboard.org/media-rss" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" version="2.0"><channel><title>News - Falmouth University English &amp; Creative Writing</title><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/</link><lastBuildDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 15:26:36 +0000</lastBuildDate><language>en-US</language><generator>Site-Server v@build.version@ (http://www.squarespace.com)</generator><description/><itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit><itunes:subtitle/><item><title>Beside the Sea</title><category>Student Writing</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 15:33:55 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2026/3/23/seaside</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:69c15baca969a849de96eb98</guid><description><![CDATA[<figure class="
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  <p class="">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@jmgduarte?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">José Duarte</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/rock-cliff-near-shore-yfQRbv7oYCg?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></p><p class="">Written by Keith Butler</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg" data-image-dimensions="1700x663" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=1000w" width="1700" height="663" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/6292a9af-2ee6-43b0-a064-8ae4aeb7e43a/seaside.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="2250" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1774279918544-MQVRG6WE4QM7BCFU9WW5/jose-duarte-yfQRbv7oYCg-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">Beside the Sea</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Hooter</title><category>Student Writing</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 15:24:08 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2026/3/23/hooter</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:69c158af97b1dc476946eff9</guid><description><![CDATA[<figure class="
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg" data-image-dimensions="3850x3025" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=1000w" width="3850" height="3025" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/993166b9-9c76-4992-9071-56c0a26b3797/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
          
          <figcaption class="image-caption-wrapper">
            <p data-rte-preserve-empty="true">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@fd_cox?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Floyd Cox</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/black-train-on-rail-road-near-green-trees-during-daytime-t_-X3OIQVkA?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a>‍       ‍</p>
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  <p class="">Written by Keith Butler</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg" data-image-dimensions="1700x2127" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=1000w" width="1700" height="2127" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/f2cb7d4f-593c-43d8-aaef-163b184434f0/Hooter.pdf_Page_1.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg" data-image-dimensions="1700x2134" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=1000w" width="1700" height="2134" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/621f0f86-cef1-468d-8d10-c9290c73bb98/Hooter.pdf_Page_2.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg" data-image-dimensions="1700x358" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=1000w" width="1700" height="358" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/689b8245-f495-47d3-9f70-d52887509c74/Hooter.pdf_Page_4.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="1179" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1774279170699-527BDNS8KDXVWR1KAPD4/floyd-cox-t_-X3OIQVkA-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">Hooter</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Parklife</title><category>Student Writing</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 14:34:34 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2026/3/23/parklife</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:69c14f7f774af70403f0c457</guid><description><![CDATA[<figure class="
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        >
          
        
        

        
          
            
          
            
                
                
                
                
                
                
                
                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg" data-image-dimensions="3968x2976" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=1000w" width="3968" height="2976" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/82d5bddd-45db-432c-88e3-1e0ebdca37ec/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
          
          <figcaption class="image-caption-wrapper">
            <p data-rte-preserve-empty="true">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@cchiba000?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">C Chiba</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/a-park-filled-with-lots-of-green-grass-and-lots-of-trees-xSA8YnCKEIM?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a>‍       ‍</p>
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  <p class="">Written by Keith Butler</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="1125" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1774276504643-LC2IRP23IBY9LB737OJK/c-chiba-xSA8YnCKEIM-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">Parklife</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>The Podcast of the Dead</title><category>student work</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 07 Dec 2025 17:13:00 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/12/7/the-podcast-of-the-dead</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:693312c875d7eb6459e16240</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Shakur Grant&nbsp;</p><p class="">QUEUE INTRO MUSIC</p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>Hello, ladies and gentlemen, it's your host James. Hope you're having a great day today. Sun shining on this beautiful horizon. The moans of the zombies in the background, how lovely it is today. Now today, I thought we'd have a special guest, you know. Same old, same old, we keep getting those you know, those who moan, those who groan. So I found someone, a lovely man with such soul in his eyes. Let's give it up for Steve.</p><p class=""><em>(CROWD CHEERING SOUND EFFECT)</em></p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>Hi, mate, thank you for having me. You know, it's been tough out of here. </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>So, James, sorry, Steve, that's me. How have you enjoyed this experience? </p><p class="">You know, how have you felt during this tough time, as you would say, I mean, for me personally, it's been great. I've made so much profit. But you, how have you felt?</p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>Well, well mate I don't know really how to put it, but you know the other day I lost, I lost my son, I've lost him. We were walking around the mall trying to get some supplies. And out of nowhere. A Zombie pulls up and I just can't, I just can't get it, you know what I mean? </p><p class=""><em>(WOMP, WOMP SOUND EFFECT)</em></p><p class="">Wait. mate, did you just. </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>What? Sorry, what? </p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>Mate, did… did you just do a womp womp to my son fucking dying </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>Sorry I don't know what you're on about. Would you like to carry on? </p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>I swear to fucking God, if you're taking the piss, about my son dying, I swear to God, I will get one of those zombies and I'll shove it right up your arse okay </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>Um well must've been you know the team or something in the studio um this is, you know, a big podcast </p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>Studio mate, we're in a fucking living room in some dusty old apartment. What do you mean studio? What's wrong with you, eh? What you think this is a joke? Think it's a joke? We're struggling out there. We're struggling. Look at you, your little supplies in a shitty apartment. Me, you know what I've had to do I've sacrificed me fucking mother for this. I'm out here struggling day in, day out. And you can't even, you know, give me the sympathy. Give me give me that nice treatment, just to be a nice person. Like, who do you actually think you are? </p><p class=""><em>(Womp Womp Sound Effect)</em></p><p class="">No, no, you've got to be taking a fucking piss. You've got to be I swear to fucking God. </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>Yeah, I'm gonna keep it real of you. I really just couldn't care. We're here to talk about, you know, you know, the experience, the fun, </p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>What fucking fun? you think? I'm so sorry. I thoughtI was here to talk about my life story. </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>No, we don't really care about your life story to be honest. This podcast goes out to people who actually, you know, want to have a good time and to be fair. Most of the people that listen to this, you know, they're above your class, as they would say. But anyway, so apart from, you know, the son dying, how would you say, you know, you've experienced the zombies themselves? Like, what have you learned from them? </p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>Well, I guess you could say survival. I'm a lot cleaner you know, I make sure I ain't got nothing of that infected on my hands. Yeah, honestly, honestly, that's, that's really it, to be honest, mate. Like I said, I lost my son the other day. It's pretty hard. I didn't actually even know why I’m here. It might be the grieving or something, you know what I mean, my heads fucking spinning, mate. I swear to God. </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>Okay. Well, um. Yeah, uh, I don't really know what to say to that. Are you good up there? Are you okay? </p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>Um. Yeah, well, I'm fucking done with this. Like, do you want to give me your fucking food. Give me give me the food right now. Give me supplies. And I'm gonna fuck off. Give me a give me your food. </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>No, no. Sorry, I can't be doing that. This is this is my show. </p><p class=""><em>STEVE - </em>Mate, I swear to God, don't give me that food right now. I'm going to fucking kill you. </p><p class=""><em>JAMES - </em>Okay, well, uh, we're having technical difficulties, so I'm going to have the end the podcast right here. I know it's short. Sorry, guys, but, you know, important matters. But anyway, thank you for having another listen to this incredible podcast and I'll see you next week.</p><p class=""><strong><em>OUTRO MUSIC</em></strong></p>]]></description><enclosure length="2881947" type="audio/x-m4a" url="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/t/693312ef6205cd10c843b9eb/1764954866915/The+Podcast+of+the+Dead.m4a"/><media:content isDefault="true" length="2881947" medium="audio" type="audio/x-m4a" url="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/t/693312ef6205cd10c843b9eb/1764954866915/The+Podcast+of+the+Dead.m4a"/><itunes:explicit/><itunes:subtitle>Written by Shakur Grant&amp;nbsp;QUEUE INTRO MUSICJAMES - Hello, ladies and gentlemen, it's your host James. Hope you're having a great day today. Sun shining on this beautiful horizon. The moans of the zombies in the background, how lovely it is today. Now today, I thought we'd have a special guest, you know. Same old, same old, we keep getting those you know, those who moan, those who groan. So I found someone, a lovely man with such soul in his eyes. Let's give it up for Steve.(CROWD CHEERING SOUND EFFECT)STEVE - Hi, mate, thank you for having me. You know, it's been tough out of here. JAMES - So, James, sorry, Steve, that's me. How have you enjoyed this experience? You know, how have you felt during this tough time, as you would say, I mean, for me personally, it's been great. I've made so much profit. But you, how have you felt?STEVE - Well, well mate I don't know really how to put it, but you know the other day I lost, I lost my son, I've lost him. We were walking around the mall trying to get some supplies. And out of nowhere. A Zombie pulls up and I just can't, I just can't get it, you know what I mean? (WOMP, WOMP SOUND EFFECT)Wait. mate, did you just. JAMES - What? Sorry, what? STEVE - Mate, did… did you just do a womp womp to my son fucking dying JAMES - Sorry I don't know what you're on about. Would you like to carry on? STEVE - I swear to fucking God, if you're taking the piss, about my son dying, I swear to God, I will get one of those zombies and I'll shove it right up your arse okay JAMES - Um well must've been you know the team or something in the studio um this is, you know, a big podcast STEVE - Studio mate, we're in a fucking living room in some dusty old apartment. What do you mean studio? What's wrong with you, eh? What you think this is a joke? Think it's a joke? We're struggling out there. We're struggling. Look at you, your little supplies in a shitty apartment. Me, you know what I've had to do I've sacrificed me fucking mother for this. I'm out here struggling day in, day out. And you can't even, you know, give me the sympathy. Give me give me that nice treatment, just to be a nice person. Like, who do you actually think you are? (Womp Womp Sound Effect)No, no, you've got to be taking a fucking piss. You've got to be I swear to fucking God. JAMES - Yeah, I'm gonna keep it real of you. I really just couldn't care. We're here to talk about, you know, you know, the experience, the fun, STEVE - What fucking fun? you think? I'm so sorry. I thoughtI was here to talk about my life story. JAMES - No, we don't really care about your life story to be honest. This podcast goes out to people who actually, you know, want to have a good time and to be fair. Most of the people that listen to this, you know, they're above your class, as they would say. But anyway, so apart from, you know, the son dying, how would you say, you know, you've experienced the zombies themselves? Like, what have you learned from them? STEVE - Well, I guess you could say survival. I'm a lot cleaner you know, I make sure I ain't got nothing of that infected on my hands. Yeah, honestly, honestly, that's, that's really it, to be honest, mate. Like I said, I lost my son the other day. It's pretty hard. I didn't actually even know why I’m here. It might be the grieving or something, you know what I mean, my heads fucking spinning, mate. I swear to God. JAMES - Okay. Well, um. Yeah, uh, I don't really know what to say to that. Are you good up there? Are you okay? STEVE - Um. Yeah, well, I'm fucking done with this. Like, do you want to give me your fucking food. Give me give me the food right now. Give me supplies. And I'm gonna fuck off. Give me a give me your food. JAMES - No, no. Sorry, I can't be doing that. This is this is my show. STEVE - Mate, I swear to God, don't give me that food right now. I'm going to fucking kill you. JAMES - Okay, well, uh, we're having technical difficulties, so I'm going to have the end the podcast right here. I know it's short. Sorry, guys, but, you know, important matters. But anyway, thank you for having another listen to this incredible podcast and I'll see you next week.OUTRO MUSIC</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary>Written by Shakur Grant&amp;nbsp;QUEUE INTRO MUSICJAMES - Hello, ladies and gentlemen, it's your host James. Hope you're having a great day today. Sun shining on this beautiful horizon. The moans of the zombies in the background, how lovely it is today. Now today, I thought we'd have a special guest, you know. Same old, same old, we keep getting those you know, those who moan, those who groan. So I found someone, a lovely man with such soul in his eyes. Let's give it up for Steve.(CROWD CHEERING SOUND EFFECT)STEVE - Hi, mate, thank you for having me. You know, it's been tough out of here. JAMES - So, James, sorry, Steve, that's me. How have you enjoyed this experience? You know, how have you felt during this tough time, as you would say, I mean, for me personally, it's been great. I've made so much profit. But you, how have you felt?STEVE - Well, well mate I don't know really how to put it, but you know the other day I lost, I lost my son, I've lost him. We were walking around the mall trying to get some supplies. And out of nowhere. A Zombie pulls up and I just can't, I just can't get it, you know what I mean? (WOMP, WOMP SOUND EFFECT)Wait. mate, did you just. JAMES - What? Sorry, what? STEVE - Mate, did… did you just do a womp womp to my son fucking dying JAMES - Sorry I don't know what you're on about. Would you like to carry on? STEVE - I swear to fucking God, if you're taking the piss, about my son dying, I swear to God, I will get one of those zombies and I'll shove it right up your arse okay JAMES - Um well must've been you know the team or something in the studio um this is, you know, a big podcast STEVE - Studio mate, we're in a fucking living room in some dusty old apartment. What do you mean studio? What's wrong with you, eh? What you think this is a joke? Think it's a joke? We're struggling out there. We're struggling. Look at you, your little supplies in a shitty apartment. Me, you know what I've had to do I've sacrificed me fucking mother for this. I'm out here struggling day in, day out. And you can't even, you know, give me the sympathy. Give me give me that nice treatment, just to be a nice person. Like, who do you actually think you are? (Womp Womp Sound Effect)No, no, you've got to be taking a fucking piss. You've got to be I swear to fucking God. JAMES - Yeah, I'm gonna keep it real of you. I really just couldn't care. We're here to talk about, you know, you know, the experience, the fun, STEVE - What fucking fun? you think? I'm so sorry. I thoughtI was here to talk about my life story. JAMES - No, we don't really care about your life story to be honest. This podcast goes out to people who actually, you know, want to have a good time and to be fair. Most of the people that listen to this, you know, they're above your class, as they would say. But anyway, so apart from, you know, the son dying, how would you say, you know, you've experienced the zombies themselves? Like, what have you learned from them? STEVE - Well, I guess you could say survival. I'm a lot cleaner you know, I make sure I ain't got nothing of that infected on my hands. Yeah, honestly, honestly, that's, that's really it, to be honest, mate. Like I said, I lost my son the other day. It's pretty hard. I didn't actually even know why I’m here. It might be the grieving or something, you know what I mean, my heads fucking spinning, mate. I swear to God. JAMES - Okay. Well, um. Yeah, uh, I don't really know what to say to that. Are you good up there? Are you okay? STEVE - Um. Yeah, well, I'm fucking done with this. Like, do you want to give me your fucking food. Give me give me the food right now. Give me supplies. And I'm gonna fuck off. Give me a give me your food. JAMES - No, no. Sorry, I can't be doing that. This is this is my show. STEVE - Mate, I swear to God, don't give me that food right now. I'm going to fucking kill you. JAMES - Okay, well, uh, we're having technical difficulties, so I'm going to have the end the podcast right here. I know it's short. Sorry, guys, but, you know, important matters. But anyway, thank you for having another listen to this incredible podcast and I'll see you next week.OUTRO MUSIC</itunes:summary><itunes:keywords>student work</itunes:keywords></item><item><title>How (Not) to Fall in Love With a Zombie</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 07 Dec 2025 16:37:00 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/12/7/how-not-to-fall-in-love-with-a-zombie</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:69330a4cb93e73782657757d</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Jessica Robinson-Jones </p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; So, picture this. You’re fifteen, it’s the most turbulent</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; time of your life, and you just so happen to fall in love.</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Teen romance can be confusing. Hell, any romance is. But</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; when you throw a zombie into the mix - that’s when things</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; start to get real messy. And when you’re trying to hide that</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; zombie in your room while your parents are downstairs?</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Even messier. [T.S. 00:35]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[<em>Thud</em>]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[<em>Zombie growling</em>]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[<strong>GAB</strong><em> shushes the zombie</em>] [T.S. 00:40]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Welcome to the shitshow that is my current situation. </p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; [T.S. 00:46]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[INTRO MUSIC] [T.S. 00:51]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a good rom-com as much as</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; as the next person - but there are so many things that they</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; don’t prepare you for. Like, for example, how to deal with</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; the entrails your new crush has dragged all over your</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; carpet. Especially when you’re up against the clock.</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; [T.S. 01:11]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[<em>Scrubbing noise as</em> GAB <em>frantically cleans the carpet</em>] [T.S. 01:14]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Yeah. It’s pretty bad as far as starts of relationships go,</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; isn’t it? Sometimes I’m not even sure it’s worth the trouble</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; if I’m honest. I mean, look at him. He’s utterly brainless.</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Couldn’t think his way out of a paper bag. Probably doesn’t</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; know what a paper bag <em>is</em>, either. [T.S. 01:36]&nbsp; [Pause]</p><p class="">Maybe I’m being a little harsh here, but it’s true. Being in</p><p class="">love with a zombie sucks. It’s - [T.S. 01:45]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[Door creaks open]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Hey, what are you - get back in there! You’re not supposed</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; to - [T.S. 01:53]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[<strong>GAB</strong> wrestles the Zombie back into the wardrobe. It’s a struggle.]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[Thud. Bang. Clunk.] [T.S. 01:56]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; It’s a <em>pain in the arse</em>. [T.S. 01:59]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>MUM:</strong> &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; (Downstairs) Gabriella? [Pause] Gabby? Is everything&nbsp;</p><p class="">ok? [T.S. 02:05]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; (Yelling back) Everything’s fine! Don’t worry! [T.S. 02:07]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[Pause]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Take this as a warning. If you’re thinking about getting in a</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; relationship with a zombie - just don’t. Don’t. You’re better</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; off forgetting about them. Or not falling in love at all.</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; [T.S. 02:21]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[Thud]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Easier said than done, right? That’s what I thought too,</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; and look where it got me. But luckily for you, there is a way.</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; [T.S. 02:31]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; How? Well, for starters, drop that I-can-change-them</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; attitude. This isn’t your fantasy romance novel.</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; They’re a zombie for fuck’s sake, they’re <em>dead</em>. No amount</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; of hoping is going to bring them back to life and suddenly</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; make them more considerate of your personal space or</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; the fact that you, you know, need your brain. [T.S. 02:53]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Secondly - cease all communication with them. I mean&nbsp;</p><p class="">it. Stop. It’ll only make them think they stand a chance.</p><p class="">Board up those windows, turn off those lights, shove</p><p class="">old newspaper under the door. They’ll try to break in, but</p><p class="">don’t let them. [T.S. 03:11]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[Sound of something being grabbed - a shovel]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Grab that shovel, hit them over the head, do</p><p class="">whatever you have to to keep them away. [T.S. 03:18]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[A giant crash, then a loud groan as GAB hits the zombie with the shovel] [T.S. 03:19]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Once you’ve done that, stay busy - distracting yourself is</p><p class="">the perfect way to get over an undead ex. Re-count your</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; emergency stockpile, watch those mandatory government</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; broadcasts, decorate your sledgehammer. Soon, you’ll have</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; forgotten all about them. [T.S. 03:36]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[Pause]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; If you do find your mind wandering back to them, however,</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; all you have to do is remind yourself of their each and every</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; flaw. Remember the smell of rotting flesh, and the drool</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; that followed them everywhere? Yeah. Not so bad without</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; them now, is it? [T.S. 03:57]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>GAB:</strong> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; At the end of the day, I can’t stop you if you want to go for</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; that cute-looking zombie across the street, but if you have</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; any brains left, you’ll remember my advice. Trust me. Don’t</p><p class="">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; make the same mistake I did. [T.S. 04:10]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[OUTRO MUSIC BEGINS] [T.S. O4:21]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">[Zombie noises] [T.S. 04:26]</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">END</p>]]></description><enclosure length="2131191" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/t/69330ad2faae5044ecaa7fd4/1764952789350/How+%28not%29+to+fall+in+love+with+a+zombie+-+podcast+audio.mp3"/><media:content isDefault="true" length="2131191" medium="audio" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/t/69330ad2faae5044ecaa7fd4/1764952789350/How+%28not%29+to+fall+in+love+with+a+zombie+-+podcast+audio.mp3"/><itunes:explicit/><itunes:subtitle>Written by Jessica Robinson-Jones GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; So, picture this. You’re fifteen, it’s the most turbulent&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; time of your life, and you just so happen to fall in love.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Teen romance can be confusing. Hell, any romance is. But&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; when you throw a zombie into the mix - that’s when things&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; start to get real messy. And when you’re trying to hide that&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; zombie in your room while your parents are downstairs?&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Even messier. [T.S. 00:35]&amp;nbsp;[Thud]&amp;nbsp;[Zombie growling]&amp;nbsp;[GAB shushes the zombie] [T.S. 00:40]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Welcome to the shitshow that is my current situation. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 00:46]&amp;nbsp;[INTRO MUSIC] [T.S. 00:51]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a good rom-com as much as&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; as the next person - but there are so many things that they&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; don’t prepare you for. Like, for example, how to deal with&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; the entrails your new crush has dragged all over your&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; carpet. Especially when you’re up against the clock.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 01:11]&amp;nbsp;[Scrubbing noise as GAB frantically cleans the carpet] [T.S. 01:14]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Yeah. It’s pretty bad as far as starts of relationships go,&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; isn’t it? Sometimes I’m not even sure it’s worth the trouble&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; if I’m honest. I mean, look at him. He’s utterly brainless.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Couldn’t think his way out of a paper bag. Probably doesn’t&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; know what a paper bag is, either. [T.S. 01:36]&amp;nbsp; [Pause]Maybe I’m being a little harsh here, but it’s true. Being inlove with a zombie sucks. It’s - [T.S. 01:45]&amp;nbsp;[Door creaks open]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Hey, what are you - get back in there! You’re not supposed&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; to - [T.S. 01:53]&amp;nbsp;[GAB wrestles the Zombie back into the wardrobe. It’s a struggle.]&amp;nbsp;[Thud. Bang. Clunk.] [T.S. 01:56]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; It’s a pain in the arse. [T.S. 01:59]&amp;nbsp;MUM: &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; (Downstairs) Gabriella? [Pause] Gabby? Is everything&amp;nbsp;ok? [T.S. 02:05]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; (Yelling back) Everything’s fine! Don’t worry! [T.S. 02:07]&amp;nbsp;[Pause]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Take this as a warning. If you’re thinking about getting in a&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; relationship with a zombie - just don’t. Don’t. You’re better&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; off forgetting about them. Or not falling in love at all.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 02:21]&amp;nbsp;[Thud]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Easier said than done, right? That’s what I thought too,&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; and look where it got me. But luckily for you, there is a way.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 02:31]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; How? Well, for starters, drop that I-can-change-them&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; attitude. This isn’t your fantasy romance novel.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; They’re a zombie for fuck’s sake, they’re dead. No amount&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; of hoping is going to bring them back to life and suddenly&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; make them more considerate of your personal space or&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; the fact that you, you know, need your brain. [T.S. 02:53]&amp;nbsp;GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Secondly - cease all communication with them. I mean&amp;nbsp;it. Stop. It’ll only make them think they stand a chance.Board up those windows, turn off those lights, shoveold newspaper under the door. They’ll try to break in, butdon’t let them. [T.S. 03:11]&amp;nbsp;[Sound of something being grabbed - a shovel]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Grab that shovel, hit them over the head, dowhatever you have to to keep them away. [T.S. 03:18]&amp;nbsp;[A giant crash, then a loud groan as GAB hits the zombie with the shovel] [T.S. 03:19]&amp;nbsp;GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Once you’ve done that, stay busy - distracting yourself isthe perfect way to get over an undead ex. Re-count your&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; emergency stockpile, watch those mandatory government&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; broadcasts, decorate your sledgehammer. Soon, you’ll have&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; forgotten all about them. [T.S. 03:36]&amp;nbsp;[Pause]&amp;nbsp;GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; If you do find your mind wandering back to them, however,&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; all you have to do is remind yourself of their each and every&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; flaw. Remember the smell of rotting flesh, and the drool&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; that followed them everywhere? Yeah. Not so bad without&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; them now, is it? [T.S. 03:57]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; At the end of the day, I can’t stop you if you want to go for&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; that cute-looking zombie across the street, but if you have&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; any brains left, you’ll remember my advice. Trust me. Don’t&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; make the same mistake I did. [T.S. 04:10]&amp;nbsp;[OUTRO MUSIC BEGINS] [T.S. O4:21]&amp;nbsp;[Zombie noises] [T.S. 04:26]&amp;nbsp;END</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary>Written by Jessica Robinson-Jones GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; So, picture this. You’re fifteen, it’s the most turbulent&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; time of your life, and you just so happen to fall in love.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Teen romance can be confusing. Hell, any romance is. But&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; when you throw a zombie into the mix - that’s when things&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; start to get real messy. And when you’re trying to hide that&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; zombie in your room while your parents are downstairs?&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Even messier. [T.S. 00:35]&amp;nbsp;[Thud]&amp;nbsp;[Zombie growling]&amp;nbsp;[GAB shushes the zombie] [T.S. 00:40]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Welcome to the shitshow that is my current situation. &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 00:46]&amp;nbsp;[INTRO MUSIC] [T.S. 00:51]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a good rom-com as much as&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; as the next person - but there are so many things that they&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; don’t prepare you for. Like, for example, how to deal with&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; the entrails your new crush has dragged all over your&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; carpet. Especially when you’re up against the clock.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 01:11]&amp;nbsp;[Scrubbing noise as GAB frantically cleans the carpet] [T.S. 01:14]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Yeah. It’s pretty bad as far as starts of relationships go,&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; isn’t it? Sometimes I’m not even sure it’s worth the trouble&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; if I’m honest. I mean, look at him. He’s utterly brainless.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Couldn’t think his way out of a paper bag. Probably doesn’t&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; know what a paper bag is, either. [T.S. 01:36]&amp;nbsp; [Pause]Maybe I’m being a little harsh here, but it’s true. Being inlove with a zombie sucks. It’s - [T.S. 01:45]&amp;nbsp;[Door creaks open]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Hey, what are you - get back in there! You’re not supposed&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; to - [T.S. 01:53]&amp;nbsp;[GAB wrestles the Zombie back into the wardrobe. It’s a struggle.]&amp;nbsp;[Thud. Bang. Clunk.] [T.S. 01:56]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; It’s a pain in the arse. [T.S. 01:59]&amp;nbsp;MUM: &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; (Downstairs) Gabriella? [Pause] Gabby? Is everything&amp;nbsp;ok? [T.S. 02:05]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; (Yelling back) Everything’s fine! Don’t worry! [T.S. 02:07]&amp;nbsp;[Pause]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Take this as a warning. If you’re thinking about getting in a&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; relationship with a zombie - just don’t. Don’t. You’re better&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; off forgetting about them. Or not falling in love at all.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 02:21]&amp;nbsp;[Thud]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Easier said than done, right? That’s what I thought too,&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; and look where it got me. But luckily for you, there is a way.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; [T.S. 02:31]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; How? Well, for starters, drop that I-can-change-them&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; attitude. This isn’t your fantasy romance novel.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; They’re a zombie for fuck’s sake, they’re dead. No amount&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; of hoping is going to bring them back to life and suddenly&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; make them more considerate of your personal space or&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; the fact that you, you know, need your brain. [T.S. 02:53]&amp;nbsp;GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Secondly - cease all communication with them. I mean&amp;nbsp;it. Stop. It’ll only make them think they stand a chance.Board up those windows, turn off those lights, shoveold newspaper under the door. They’ll try to break in, butdon’t let them. [T.S. 03:11]&amp;nbsp;[Sound of something being grabbed - a shovel]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Grab that shovel, hit them over the head, dowhatever you have to to keep them away. [T.S. 03:18]&amp;nbsp;[A giant crash, then a loud groan as GAB hits the zombie with the shovel] [T.S. 03:19]&amp;nbsp;GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; Once you’ve done that, stay busy - distracting yourself isthe perfect way to get over an undead ex. Re-count your&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; emergency stockpile, watch those mandatory government&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; broadcasts, decorate your sledgehammer. Soon, you’ll have&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; forgotten all about them. [T.S. 03:36]&amp;nbsp;[Pause]&amp;nbsp;GAB:&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; If you do find your mind wandering back to them, however,&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; all you have to do is remind yourself of their each and every&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; flaw. Remember the smell of rotting flesh, and the drool&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; that followed them everywhere? Yeah. Not so bad without&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; them now, is it? [T.S. 03:57]&amp;nbsp;GAB: &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; At the end of the day, I can’t stop you if you want to go for&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; that cute-looking zombie across the street, but if you have&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; any brains left, you’ll remember my advice. Trust me. Don’t&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; make the same mistake I did. [T.S. 04:10]&amp;nbsp;[OUTRO MUSIC BEGINS] [T.S. O4:21]&amp;nbsp;[Zombie noises] [T.S. 04:26]&amp;nbsp;END</itunes:summary></item><item><title>The Last Message</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 07 Dec 2025 16:10:00 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/12/7/the-last-message</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:693303f61a51e53e523b5093</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Jessica Bragg</p><p class="">[SFX - Click of recording turning on]</p><p class="">Hello? Hello. I think that’s recording. I haven’t used this thing in years. I’ve been stuck in the house for 2 months now. I’m not sure if anyone normal still knows I’m here. </p><p class="">They do, though… the huddle. </p><p class="">I thought at first that it was some online trend, or that TikTok had finally gotten to the young people, or maybe drugs? Although this was a very nice neighbourhood before all of this started happening. But it could have been anything. I don’t know how it started or why; I’m just a newly retired nurse with one son in the city, who I can’t contact. I don’t know if he even knows what’s going on. Or if it is happening there as well. I hope not. He’s a good man; he can’t have turned into one of these creatures…</p><p class="">I’ve been keeping a diary, noting down what I have noticed about them. Initially, it was only a couple of young’uns from this street, but soon it grew and now I think the whole neighbourhood is out there. They rarely go anywhere. They just stand together, groaning and swaying. They look so sick. I stayed inside to protect myself, but I ran out of food (pauses to think) about a week ago. I know they know I am here because they came into the house when I had collapsed. They pushed through my locked door. I woke up after passing out, and it was wide open. I felt so weak before this. But I managed to barricade the door shut. They can’t get in again. They don’t seem to pay me any attention. But I’m doing okay. I’m actually feeling great. The pain in my back has gone, and I managed to move a lot of heavy furniture to barricade my door. Is that strange? </p><p class="">I haven’t eaten in a week? That can’t be right. Why do I feel so good? I can’t, maybe I’m losing it. This whole situation is enough to drive anyone mad. When I woke up after one of them had been in my house, there was a bite on my neck. What is wrong with them that they would think to do such a thing? Maybe I just imagined it? It feels fine now. I should check in the mirror.</p><p class="">[SFX – Footsteps as she walks to the mirror]</p><p class="">Oh, oh no. I mustn’t be as well as I thought. My skin, it’s grey. And my eyes, they are dry, my actual eyeballs; there isn’t a shine to them at all. No, no, no. I’m going mad. This isn’t happening. I feel great. I am okay. I am. </p><p class="">I just need help. I need to know what is going on out there, in the rest of the world. What is actually happening? How far has this madness spread? Hopefully, my lovely Antony is okay. He is all I have. He is all uhhh (groan sound). </p><p class="">What? What was I saying? Please help me. If anyone hears uhhh (groan sound). I am so alone. I am so scare-uhhh (groan sound). No, no n-uhhh (groan sound). Please no. Uhhh (groan sound). Please stop. Uhhh (groan sound). Stop. Uhhh (groan sound). STOP THIS. Uhhhhhhh (groan sound – longer). I can’t turn into one of them, I won’t-uhhh (groan sound). I can’t. Uhhh (groan sound) Stop it. Antony, if you hear this uhhh (groan sound) I love yo-uhhh (groan sound)</p><p class="">Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (groan sound- longest of them all)</p><p class="">[SFX Click of recording turning off.]</p>]]></description><enclosure length="5475303" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/t/6933041701e5c5702e9fc581/1764951069334/Draft+podcast+recording+%28Jessica%29.mp3"/><media:content isDefault="true" length="5475303" medium="audio" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/t/6933041701e5c5702e9fc581/1764951069334/Draft+podcast+recording+%28Jessica%29.mp3"/><itunes:explicit/><itunes:subtitle>Written by Jessica Bragg[SFX - Click of recording turning on]Hello? Hello. I think that’s recording. I haven’t used this thing in years. I’ve been stuck in the house for 2 months now. I’m not sure if anyone normal still knows I’m here. They do, though… the huddle. I thought at first that it was some online trend, or that TikTok had finally gotten to the young people, or maybe drugs? Although this was a very nice neighbourhood before all of this started happening. But it could have been anything. I don’t know how it started or why; I’m just a newly retired nurse with one son in the city, who I can’t contact. I don’t know if he even knows what’s going on. Or if it is happening there as well. I hope not. He’s a good man; he can’t have turned into one of these creatures…I’ve been keeping a diary, noting down what I have noticed about them. Initially, it was only a couple of young’uns from this street, but soon it grew and now I think the whole neighbourhood is out there. They rarely go anywhere. They just stand together, groaning and swaying. They look so sick. I stayed inside to protect myself, but I ran out of food (pauses to think) about a week ago. I know they know I am here because they came into the house when I had collapsed. They pushed through my locked door. I woke up after passing out, and it was wide open. I felt so weak before this. But I managed to barricade the door shut. They can’t get in again. They don’t seem to pay me any attention. But I’m doing okay. I’m actually feeling great. The pain in my back has gone, and I managed to move a lot of heavy furniture to barricade my door. Is that strange? I haven’t eaten in a week? That can’t be right. Why do I feel so good? I can’t, maybe I’m losing it. This whole situation is enough to drive anyone mad. When I woke up after one of them had been in my house, there was a bite on my neck. What is wrong with them that they would think to do such a thing? Maybe I just imagined it? It feels fine now. I should check in the mirror.[SFX – Footsteps as she walks to the mirror]Oh, oh no. I mustn’t be as well as I thought. My skin, it’s grey. And my eyes, they are dry, my actual eyeballs; there isn’t a shine to them at all. No, no, no. I’m going mad. This isn’t happening. I feel great. I am okay. I am. I just need help. I need to know what is going on out there, in the rest of the world. What is actually happening? How far has this madness spread? Hopefully, my lovely Antony is okay. He is all I have. He is all uhhh (groan sound). What? What was I saying? Please help me. If anyone hears uhhh (groan sound). I am so alone. I am so scare-uhhh (groan sound). No, no n-uhhh (groan sound). Please no. Uhhh (groan sound). Please stop. Uhhh (groan sound). Stop. Uhhh (groan sound). STOP THIS. Uhhhhhhh (groan sound – longer). I can’t turn into one of them, I won’t-uhhh (groan sound). I can’t. Uhhh (groan sound) Stop it. Antony, if you hear this uhhh (groan sound) I love yo-uhhh (groan sound)Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (groan sound- longest of them all)[SFX Click of recording turning off.]</itunes:subtitle><itunes:summary>Written by Jessica Bragg[SFX - Click of recording turning on]Hello? Hello. I think that’s recording. I haven’t used this thing in years. I’ve been stuck in the house for 2 months now. I’m not sure if anyone normal still knows I’m here. They do, though… the huddle. I thought at first that it was some online trend, or that TikTok had finally gotten to the young people, or maybe drugs? Although this was a very nice neighbourhood before all of this started happening. But it could have been anything. I don’t know how it started or why; I’m just a newly retired nurse with one son in the city, who I can’t contact. I don’t know if he even knows what’s going on. Or if it is happening there as well. I hope not. He’s a good man; he can’t have turned into one of these creatures…I’ve been keeping a diary, noting down what I have noticed about them. Initially, it was only a couple of young’uns from this street, but soon it grew and now I think the whole neighbourhood is out there. They rarely go anywhere. They just stand together, groaning and swaying. They look so sick. I stayed inside to protect myself, but I ran out of food (pauses to think) about a week ago. I know they know I am here because they came into the house when I had collapsed. They pushed through my locked door. I woke up after passing out, and it was wide open. I felt so weak before this. But I managed to barricade the door shut. They can’t get in again. They don’t seem to pay me any attention. But I’m doing okay. I’m actually feeling great. The pain in my back has gone, and I managed to move a lot of heavy furniture to barricade my door. Is that strange? I haven’t eaten in a week? That can’t be right. Why do I feel so good? I can’t, maybe I’m losing it. This whole situation is enough to drive anyone mad. When I woke up after one of them had been in my house, there was a bite on my neck. What is wrong with them that they would think to do such a thing? Maybe I just imagined it? It feels fine now. I should check in the mirror.[SFX – Footsteps as she walks to the mirror]Oh, oh no. I mustn’t be as well as I thought. My skin, it’s grey. And my eyes, they are dry, my actual eyeballs; there isn’t a shine to them at all. No, no, no. I’m going mad. This isn’t happening. I feel great. I am okay. I am. I just need help. I need to know what is going on out there, in the rest of the world. What is actually happening? How far has this madness spread? Hopefully, my lovely Antony is okay. He is all I have. He is all uhhh (groan sound). What? What was I saying? Please help me. If anyone hears uhhh (groan sound). I am so alone. I am so scare-uhhh (groan sound). No, no n-uhhh (groan sound). Please no. Uhhh (groan sound). Please stop. Uhhh (groan sound). Stop. Uhhh (groan sound). STOP THIS. Uhhhhhhh (groan sound – longer). I can’t turn into one of them, I won’t-uhhh (groan sound). I can’t. Uhhh (groan sound) Stop it. Antony, if you hear this uhhh (groan sound) I love yo-uhhh (groan sound)Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (groan sound- longest of them all)[SFX Click of recording turning off.]</itunes:summary></item><item><title>Amara Rayman - A Twine Story</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 21 Nov 2025 16:25:47 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/11/21/amara-rayman-a-twine-story</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:692091fc79692238826347ac</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Lottie Keen</p><p class="">Please follow the below link to FalWriting’s itch.io website and use the password “AmaraRayman“ to access the interactive fiction piece. </p>





















  
  






  <h2><a href="https://falwriting.itch.io/amararayman"><strong>https://falwriting.itch.io/amararayman</strong></a><strong> </strong></h2>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg" data-image-dimensions="649x649" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=1000w" width="649" height="649" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/0a7c4077-f476-4a67-bc08-d9fcbe66b7ee/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="649" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1763742224889-VEXODG5HHQHQSN26EQ4P/zombie+twine+image.jpg?format=1500w" width="649"><media:title type="plain">Amara Rayman - A Twine Story</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Encounter -  A Twine Story</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 21 Nov 2025 16:25:42 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/11/21/encounter-a-twine-story</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:69208eea2323d023e7f1d2d9</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Stella Neuen</p><p class="">Please follow the below link to FalWriting’s itch.io website and use the password “Encounter“ to access the interactive fiction piece. </p>





















  
  






  <h2><strong>https://falwriting.itch.io/encounter</strong></h2>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg" data-image-dimensions="4024x6048" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=1000w" width="4024" height="6048" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/a06b9e43-8262-4536-b3da-3b5258d29dcb/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
          
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            <p class="">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@oksanasybydlo?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Oksana Sybydlo</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/noodles-are-being-lifted-from-a-bowl-with-chopsticks-HrbdklNWbQ4?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></p>
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        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="2254" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1763741466210-5XW1H22ZFOAOJFJE82WA/oksana-sybydlo-HrbdklNWbQ4-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">Encounter -  A Twine Story</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Homotopia - A Twine Story</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 21 Nov 2025 16:25:35 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/11/21/homotopia-a-twine-story</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:69208d3eddb6a932241a754b</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Tom Dennett</p><p class="">Please follow the below link to FalWriting’s itch.io website and use the password “Homotopia“ to access the interactive fiction piece. </p><h2><a href="https://falwriting.itch.io/homotopia"><strong>https://falwriting.itch.io/homotopia</strong></a> </h2>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg" data-image-dimensions="1024x1536" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=1000w" width="1024" height="1536" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/64a00647-d19d-4df2-9a24-21d8365ffcac/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="1536" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1763741682471-YW8SKQ4UZWUWZRITB96L/IMG_3160.jpeg?format=1500w" width="1024"><media:title type="plain">Homotopia - A Twine Story</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>How to Befriend Your Zombie</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2025 16:03:22 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/10/24/how-to-befriend-your-zombie</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68fba34fb0d0715a145d07e5</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Rowan Willmott</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg" data-image-dimensions="3024x4032" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=1000w" width="3024" height="4032" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/d2c152a7-d30a-4b62-a23e-498c17c35c33/Page4.jpeg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="2000" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1761321946608-RJ1MTS384GLK6TNHT2LP/Page1.jpeg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">How to Befriend Your Zombie</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Minecraft</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2025 15:59:13 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/10/24/minecraft</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68fba256f83bca1f05c0dbd3</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Christian Tompkins</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg" data-image-dimensions="4284x5712" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=1000w" width="4284" height="5712" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/4f3a99d6-cb3b-4c85-844b-9f3b637a8361/IMG_7218.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
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        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="2000" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1761321737860-JWNHIYQ39P6XB5G5JH05/IMG_7215.jpg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">Minecraft</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>HELP WHAT IS GOING ON!?</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2025 15:50:04 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/10/24/help-what-is-going-on</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68fba0314f533f2e91943be5</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Jessica Bragg</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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                <img data-stretch="false" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg" data-image-dimensions="3025x4281" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="" data-load="false" elementtiming="system-image-block" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=1000w" width="3025" height="4281" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, (max-width: 767px) 100vw, 100vw" onload="this.classList.add(&quot;loaded&quot;)" srcset="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=100w 100w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=300w 300w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=500w 500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=750w 750w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=1000w 1000w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=1500w 1500w, https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/3a1ee651-94ee-4209-99a2-91a324facbcc/ZINE+4.jpg?format=2500w 2500w" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-loader="sqs">

            
          
        
          
        

        
      
        </figure>]]></description><media:content height="2123" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1761321772545-RGJCGB8Y70662RQYKQWJ/ZINE+1.jpg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">HELP WHAT IS GOING ON!?</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Five Life Stages of a Zombie and How to Identify Them.</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 10 Oct 2025 15:53:14 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/10/10/five-life-stages-of-a-zombie-and-how-to-identify-them</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68e92bf099785611dd5fbd42</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">We have all come across our fair share of zombies. If you haven't, then you are a rather lucky individual.</p><p class="">I have been observing the zombies and their development. From my research I can provide a guide on the zombies of today for other survivors. This list will provide guidance on how to identify different life stages of zombies and what to look out for in your fellow survivors.</p><p class="">Let's break down those life stages, shall we?</p><h2>1. Freshly Turned</h2><p class="">They exist in the short phase of time between being bitten and losing full awareness as the fungus begins to germinate in the body. This phase can last from a few days up to two weeks. This phase is the most difficult to spot. You need to be wary of these zombies when you meet people. These are zombies at their most human. They look sickly and pale. At the beginning they still have full control over their vocalisations and sensory understanding. They are especially dangerous as they can differentiate between sounds made by a human and other stimuli. They still have an uncontrollable desire for human flesh, so be careful and be aware.&nbsp;</p><h2>2. New Zombie</h2><p class="">A 'New Zombie' is what I have come to call the most common form of zombie we know of. This phase can last the longest out of all the stages - from months to years - and is characterised by the grunting and growling every apocalypse survivor is quite familiar by this point. These zombies tend to show clearer signs of decay. The ability to communicate decreases rapidly at the beginning of this phase. These zombies will respond to any audible stimuli, so they are easily distracted. </p><h2>3. Far Gone </h2><p class="">These zombies can function with much worse decay. They begin to show evidence of fungal growth as hyphae knots begin to form. They will only respond to their sense of hearing, and are unable to smell, see or vocalise. Zombies at this stage are particularly easy to kill, as the physical body is weakest. If possible, burn the bodies of zombies at this stage, before the mycelium network can grow mushrooms.&nbsp;</p><h2>4. Fruiting Zombies.</h2><p class="">In this phase, zombies are entirely immobile. These zombies have large fungal structures bursting from their bodies. these growths are usually seen on the face, chest or large injury sites. They should be avoided at all costs. If you have the correct equipment, you should set them alight to destroy them. Currently little is known about the effects of the spores these fungi will likely release, so be extremely careful. See <a href="https://www.google.com/imgres?q=mushroom&amp;imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi0.wp.com%2Fpost.healthline.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2021%2F05%2Foyster-mushroom-1296x728-header.jpg%3Fw%3D1155%26h%3D1528&amp;imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.healthline.com%2Fnutrition%2Foyster-mushroom-benefits&amp;docid=SfgsTJV8NF7FlM&amp;tbnid=8JQXqMaSOSUZiM&amp;vet=12ahUKEwicmKv-7pmQAxXFVEEAHdC3FEkQM3oECBoQAA..i&amp;w=1155&amp;h=648&amp;hcb=2&amp;ved=2ahUKEwicmKv-7pmQAxXFVEEAHdC3FEkQM3oECBoQAA">Here</a> for a visual.</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Source – Rowan Willmott</p>
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  <h2>5. The Anomaly.&nbsp;</h2><p class="">Very rarely, one may encounter a zombie who appears to be far into the second stage whilst retaining full consciousness. These zombies have a genetic condition that allows their bodies to co-exist with the infection. From studies conducted on an anomaly I've been lucky enough to meet; they’re fully conscious. They don't decay beyond the second stage and can even manage speech. Anomalies are prone to distractions from external stimuli and still suffer increased impulsive responses. Be wary, but not inconsiderate. They are still people. </p><p class="">----</p><p class="">I urge anyone reading to share relevant information in the comment section.&nbsp;</p><p class="">Signing off,</p><p class="">Dr. L Conroy<br>The Elysium</p>





















  
  






  <p class="">Written by Rowan Willmott</p>]]></description><media:content height="966" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1760111956518-5OWB4HJ3T0DO96UPIC9Y/Picture4.jpg?format=1500w" width="1379"><media:title type="plain">Five Life Stages of a Zombie and How to Identify Them.</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Zombie Communication 101: The 3 Most Important Words and Phrases for Beginners</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 10 Oct 2025 15:45:42 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/10/10/zombie-communication-101-the-3-most-important-words-and-phrases-for-beginners</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68e92a2c42160618ee614831</guid><description><![CDATA[<h2>Zombie Communication 101: The 3 Most Important Words and Phrases for Beginners</h2><p class="">You scramble to a halt in the dark alleyway. Three zombies are blocking your exit. Their expensive suits are torn to shreds and splattered with blood, their limbs are tense as if they are suffering from cramps. They look at you with greed and say something in their unfittingly melodic language.</p><p class=""><em>‘Ou Gar, ech hunn sou Honger.’</em></p><p class=""><em>‘Ech och mee Gehier schmaacht&nbsp;deck fad.’</em></p><p class="">You have two options: fight or flight. Or wait, hold on. What about option three: communicate?</p><p class="">There would be no reason for you to assume that these zombies are actually speaking a language a human could understand. Unless you belong to the <a href="https://infolux.uni.lu/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Presse-UNESCO-2010-2009.pdf">0.0057%</a> of the world population who speak Luxembourgish - in that case you would quickly come to realise that they speak the same language as you. </p><p class="">If you do not belong to this tiny fraction of people: You’re in luck, because I happen to be a native speaker and I’ll teach you the basics for zombie communication. Trust me, apocalypse life gets a lot easier when you can actually talk to the zombies.</p><p class="">I have found that zombies respect those who speak their language and therefore listen to what you say if you say it in Luxembourgish. These key phrases will keep you safe from the zombies. You should only start to properly talk to them once you are able to engage in basic conversations.</p><ol data-rte-list="default"><li><p class=""><strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </strong><a href="https://lod.lu/artikel/MOIEN1"><strong>Moien</strong></a><strong> [mˈojən]</strong></p></li></ol><p class="">→ Translation: Hello</p><p class="">→ Example: <em>Moien, wann ech gelift&nbsp;friesst mech net.</em> (Hello, please don’t eat me.)</p><p class="">Okay, maybe this word on its own won’t keep the zombies away but if there’s one thing my mother taught me, it’s that it never hurts to be polite. Zombies have feelings, too, after all. </p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class=""><strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </strong><a href="https://lod.lu/artikel/FORTGOEN1"><strong>Géi fort!</strong></a><strong> [ɡɜɪ fɔʀt]</strong></p></li></ul><p class="">→ Translation: Go Away!</p><p class="">→ Example: <em>Géi fort soss iessen ech zur&nbsp;Ofwiesslung emol däi&nbsp;Gehier.</em> (Go away or &nbsp;I’ll eat your brain for a change.)</p><p class="">This particular conjugation would only be used if you are talking to one zombie. If you are addressing several ones, use: <em>Gitt fort! &nbsp;</em>(I know it seems like I’m being nit-picky here, but the zombies will respect you more if you are able to conjugate your verbs correctly.)</p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class=""><strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </strong><a href="https://lod.lu/artikel/NONDIKASS1"><strong>Nondikass!</strong></a><strong> [nondikˈɑs]</strong></p></li></ul><p class="">→ Translation: For fuck’s sake</p><p class="">→ Example: <em>Nondikass!</em> (usually just used on its own)</p><p class="">In normal times, using <em>Nondikass</em> would probably grant you official Luxembourgish citizenship on the spot. It goes without saying that the zombies regard the correct use of this word very highly.</p><p class="">If you want to have more elaborate conversations with zombies, you can use the Luxembourgish dictionary <a href="https://lod.lu/">here</a>. In case you ever need to check your spelling, there’s a <a href="https://spellchecker.lu/">website</a> for that, too. </p><p class="">Interested in further research? Look into how Luxembourgish culture affects the zombies! I recommend listening to Luxembourg’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdpiXDkpaoA&amp;list=RDEdpiXDkpaoA&amp;start_radio=1">national anthem</a>. I’m sure the zombies wouldn’t mind a little singing and dancing session. The national anthem will please their new-found luxembourgish patriotism, as well as being the perfect rhythm for their slow movements.</p><p class="">Lastly, follow me on my social media. I can’t guarantee that I will post anything or reply to messages due to the Wi-Fi and reception being down, but I will do everything I can to help you. </p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class="">Happy survival everyone!</p>





















  
  






  <p class="">Written by Stella Neuen</p>]]></description></item><item><title>The Ultimate Guide To Shooting Your Mum In The Head – </title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 10 Oct 2025 15:36:47 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/10/10/the-ultimate-guide-to-shooting-your-mum-in-the-head-</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68e9281483256816122ea203</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Hello fellow survivors!&nbsp;</p><p class="">I am so glad to be speaking with you, whoever you are! I thought that I should send a message before I travelled South, away from the Scottish Zombies, whose accents make their grunts especially terrifying.&nbsp;</p><p class="">My journey has been long and arduous but it has taught me a few things.&nbsp;Mostly, it taught me how to kill my mum. If you too need to kill your mum, and trust me you probably will, then please read on.&nbsp;</p><h2><span><strong>Weapons </strong></span></h2>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Image credit: <a href="http://www.armslist.com/posts/8251184/fort-collins-colorado-handguns-for-sale--chiappa-1873-22-single-action-revolver--22-lr-">.22 LR Chiappa Revolver</a></p>
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  <p class="">So your mum is a zombie? Or worse, a Scottish Zombie? Then she needs to be shot in the head, right between the eyes. Easier said than done, right? Well, if you have the right gun it will definitely make it a whole lot easier!&nbsp;</p><p class="">My personal pick would be the .22 LR Chiappa Revolver as it is light, comes with a silencer and has a cool, sleek look to it perfect for looking mysterious around the streets of Edinburgh.&nbsp;</p><p class="">Although, if you’re a little deeper into the countryside and all you have on hand is a hunting rifle then as long as you’re at least two metres away it shouldn’t injure you too severely. </p><h2><span><strong>Props</strong></span></h2>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Image credit: <a href="https://www.bing.com/aclick?ld=e8eCcUpMVHEvM0VDP3aJFNCDVUCUxeLymgWAE-ouyfCYv6Tq9uuAWQN3jpJXqevU6vDgoeC0kOt9NmZU1Q8eOsS5WAgZF4-_HEaHT1CGV2YgsoVIKBFbntC4PcZ-qLaH8MEYNf-O11vTLyLL0JSxXgdyrPDFTF_f47isx0m0zpigWeShykIgoHMtZZvRDnGjSsCKTMIQ&amp;u=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&amp;rlid=f1c92710e0a41acd61584ff7932bbaa3&amp;ntb=1">Hulk Hogan Mask</a></p>
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  <p class="">It is hard to blow your Zombie mum’s head off. Believe me, I know. Hardest of all is that it’s your mum. Maybe she wants to eat your brains now, but she’s still your mum. She still raised you, and this is the thanks she gets?&nbsp;</p><p class="">But what if she wasn’t your mum? What if she was just another zombie in a mask, faceless and anonymous? Well dig up your old costume box from when you were little and grab that WrestleMania mask and just hover it over your zombie mum’s face. Shooting Hulk Hogan in the face is much easier. </p><h2><span><strong>Blame someone else&nbsp;</strong></span></h2>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Image Credit: <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-03-10/brexit-and-australias-relationship-with-britain/10879914"><strong>flag burning</strong></a></p>
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  <p class="">If killing your mum is still getting you down, I suggest you just blame someone else. Maybe the corrupt government or that cult commune. There’s plenty to go around at the minute. And better yet, once you have blamed them you can spend the rest of the apocalypse hunting them down and seeking your revenge. Since TV shows have become pretty sparse this is a good way to keep yourself entertained and focused at a time when people are exceedingly lost. </p><h2><span><strong>Just Don’t think about it </strong></span></h2>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Image Credit: <a href="https://individualogist.com/meditation-for-the-beginner">meditation</a></p>
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  <p class="">My favourite technique to employ in these trying times is to completely free your mind of all thoughts. Just go blank. Just forget, and forget and forget. A man I knew who was a guru in the before times taught me how to meditate. In his words there were three key steps:&nbsp;</p><p class="">Find a quiet space.&nbsp;</p><p class="">Focus on your breath.&nbsp;</p><p class="">Think only of your breath.&nbsp;</p><p class="">If you need more guidance, you can check out this tutorial: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj0JDwQLof4">(25) 10-Minute Guided Meditation: Self-Love | SELF - YouTube</a></p><p class="">Of course, meditation isn’t for everyone, and wasn’t for me. For those people I simply recommend a good lick of moonshine to take the edge off.&nbsp;</p><p class="">I hope that this guide will help you to traverse our new world But more importantly, I hope that this list helped you to kill your mum, and that you will write me back. </p>





















  
  






  <p class="">Written by Hannah Simpson </p>]]></description><media:content height="339" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1760111116679-KQ9X5TU9SBI695V6A5UW/Picture3.jpg?format=1500w" width="602"><media:title type="plain">The Ultimate Guide To Shooting Your Mum In The Head –</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>The Zombie Apocalypse is here! Post-Digital Writing 2025/6</title><category>student work</category><category>Post Digital 25/26</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 29 Sep 2025 10:55:00 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/9/29/the-zombie-apocalypse-is-here-post-digital-writing-20256</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68d671341f05451ee582f29b</guid><description><![CDATA[<h1>The outbreak has hit!</h1>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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  <p class=""><em>Yes, it’s finally happened. </em></p><p class=""><em>Scientists messed around with evolution one too many times and the worst has come to pass, an infection; one that steals everything but an all-consuming hunger for human flesh. The world has fallen to chaos and in this time of great unrest small groups are doing what they can to try and keep humanity alive. Some raise armies, some go out and scavenge, you, however, are tasked with your own goal – to utilise writing so that others my survive.</em></p><p class=""><em>How do you accomplish this? Well that’s up to you – are you a wandering creative, surviving and documenting your experiences? Are you holed up within a safe zone, writing about life within? Are you part of a resistance again corrupt authority risen in this chaotic age? The choice is yours. But through your writing, others may survive, through your work, humanity may yet endure. </em></p>





















  
  






  <p class="">Above is the scenario Falmouth’s Post-Digital Content students will be working from over the study block! Stay tuned for fortnightly releases of differing media forms all set within a world overtaken by zombie hoards.</p><p class="">How will this scenario come to an end? Well that’s up to the students! Maybe a cure is found and humanity bounces back, maybe humanity decides to nuke the planet and set up a new scenario on the moon, or… maybe it was hopeless from the start, and humanity will be no more…</p><p class="">You’ll have to wait and see!   </p>]]></description></item><item><title>Celebrating Nick Darke: His Life, Work and Legacy</title><category>student work</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 26 Sep 2025 10:34:54 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/9/26/celebrating-nick-darke-his-life-work-and-legacy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:68d66c54ff301b392a9fd8d0</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Written by Danielle Hutchinson</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Actor James Whear performing in the ‘Nick Darke: Life, Work, Legacy’ readings at AMATA, June 2025. Photo: Ciaran Doherty. </p>
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  <p class="">In June, a performance was held at AMATA to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the death of legendary Cornish playwright, Nick Darke.</p><p class="">The ‘Nick Darke: Life, Work, Legacy’ performance was compiled entirely of extracts from his notebooks and manuscripts, which are housed in a dedicated archive on Penryn Campus.</p><p class="">Acting students, Lydia Clark, Sinead Ferguson, Daisy-Belle Tardrew and James Whear, said it was an honour to perform the world premiere of these pieces. </p><p class="">“It’s about honouring Nick Darke and there was such a respectful atmosphere, but also everyone just seemed to really enjoy the evening.”</p><p class="">“For us to go from such comedic, funny stories, such as the weaver fish, to something as heartfelt and emotional as the wife and husband scene – I think that really highlights the breadth of his work and how brilliant he was as a playwright.”</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Acting students taking their bows at the end of the ‘Nick Darke: Life, Work, Legacy’ performance, alongside Head of Theatre Arts Trevor Rawlins. Photo: Ciaran Doherty.</p>
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  <p class="">The performance was not only a product of the acting students’ work, but also a collaboration with third-year writing students, Verity Borras, Darcy Duncan, Lottie Razzino and Hilary Thain, who spent time researching in the Nick Darke Archives and curating the extracts. </p><p class="">Director Nicola Coplin, who teaches on the BA Creative Writing courses, said the archive notebooks gave a brilliant insight into the process of writing. </p><p class="">“We took some of our third-year writing students who are particularly interested in scriptwriting into the archives to just see what we could find.”</p><p class="">“We were really quite in awe of what we were reading and the fun bit was seeing some profound statement followed by ‘got to pick up wallpaper paste’ or something – it felt like seeing into a writer’s life.”</p><p class="">This inspired the performance of ‘A Conversation Between Nick’s Notebooks’ where the actors created a dialogue between the various pages of the notebooks, ranging from story ideas to shopping lists and recipes.</p><p class="">As writing becomes more digitised and old drafts are simply deleted, it’s increasingly rare to find such a full record of the writing process, from initial notes to final manuscripts. </p><p class="">His wife Jane Darke, who donated the archive to the university, said that when you look at the archive you can see exactly where Nick’s work came from. </p><p class="">“It’s wonderful to see it being used and understood in the value that it has… you’ve got every part of the process from beginning to end.”</p><p class="">“Some of what you’ll hear are pieces of writing that maybe never went much further, but instigated a whole other chain of thought that led into a play.”</p><p class="">Extracts performed included previously unnamed scripts ‘The Weaver Fish’ and ‘The Two Artists’, as well as the ‘Nicaraguan Diaries’, which went on to form the basis of Darke’s 1989 play ‘Kissing the Pope’ for the Royal Shakespeare Company.</p><p class="">The acting students were thrilled to be able to delve into the pieces and explore the potential ways they could perform them on stage.</p><p class="">“It was such a surreal experience to be able to bring these words that have never been performed before to life. That’s not something you get to say that you’ve done very often.”</p><p class="">“We’re graduates; this is our last performance in this building and it’s a culmination of the three years of studying. What an amazing thing to end it on.”</p><p class="">“The magic is all in the work – as actors, we’re just translating it to the audience.” </p><p class="">The actors were pleased that the performance was well-received by the audience, and especially by Jane Darke.</p><p class="">“We’re really moved that Nick’s wife Jane was also moved by this evening, which was very, very important to us.”</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">Chancellor Dawn French and Jane Darke at the ‘Nick Darke: Life, Work, Legacy’ event at AMATA, June 2025. Photo: Ciaran Doherty, edited by Danielle Hutchinson.</p>
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  <p class="">It wasn’t just Jane who was impressed by the actors. Also in attendance was Chancellor Dawn French, who congratulated the actors on their performances.</p><p class="">Head of Theatre Arts at AMATA Trevor Rawlins said that it was a great bit of experience for the students. </p><p class="">“They’ve had a taste of doing a job really, of working with Nicola who’s a writer and director.”</p><p class="">Actor Sinead said this is just one of many opportunities that studying at Falmouth has presented. <br>“I genuinely could not have chosen a better place for me and my career – the opportunities I’ve had in Falmouth, I wouldn’t have found anywhere else and it’s just been incredible to reflect and show all of my training up until this point for this performance.”</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">A 3D image of Nick Darke’s writing room, created using ‘Gaussian splatting’. Image courtesy of the Centre for Blended Realities, Falmouth University. </p>
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  <p class="">As well as being performed on stage, the Nick Darke archive is being reimagined at the university using virtual reality technology.</p><p class="">Head of the Centre for Blended Realities Lee Miller attended the Nick Darke event to showcase 3D imagery of Nick Darke’s writing room. </p><p class="">“There is the archive of written work which we saw so beautifully performed, but there is also this space which provides a contextual richness to his work.” </p><p class="">The team captured the writing room using a technique called ‘Gaussian splatting’ which involves taking a range of photographs from different angles and creating a 3D digital version of the scene.</p><p class="">“I think the careful use of digital curation is an incredibly vibrant and vital part of exploring how the archive moves forwards.”</p><p class="">Vice-Chancellor Emma Hunt said that Nick Darke laid the foundation for future Cornish creatives and the university hopes to build upon his legacy.</p><p class="">“Nick's plays, rooted in Cornish life, helped put the Duchy on the cultural map, becoming, as they did, nationally and internationally acclaimed.”</p><p class="">“We’re proud to be custodians of this important cultural asset and honoured to share it with our community.”</p><p class="">Jane Darke reflected on the decision to have the archives at Falmouth University.</p><p class="">“Nick was on the cultural task force when the university was being planned and I think he would be delighted; he would be so pleased by what it has become and it was absolutely the right place for his archive to be.”</p>





















  
  














































  

    
  
    

      

      
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            <p class="">One of the displays in the Nick Darke Archive exhibition on Penryn Campus, commemorating the 20th anniversary of the playwright’s death in 2005. Photo: Danielle Hutchinson. </p>
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  <p class="">The archive team have curated an exhibition to mark the 20th anniversary, selecting pieces from the Nick Darke collection to display in Penryn Campus Library.</p><p class="">“We wanted to bring Nick’s voice into the exhibition, so all the text opens with quotes from him about his life and his work.”</p><p class="">There are over 1,000 pieces currently catalogued in the Nick Darke collection. </p><p class="">When it was donated to Falmouth University in 2009, it was one of the founding collections of a dedicated archive service, which now houses over 40 collections. </p><p class="">The archivists encourage students, staff, and members of the public to engage with the collections and explore what they have to offer.</p><p class="">“We’re really passionate about making archives more accessible to everyone.”</p><p class="">This includes running projects such as ‘Making: Archives’ and an annual artist residency where students from any course can create a project inspired by pieces in the archives. </p><p class="">“We have applications from students across a diverse range of courses - it doesn’t have to be that the archive directly relates to their creative discipline - some of the best projects we’ve had is when students use the archives to explore something totally different.”</p><p class="">“The Nick Darke archive is so valuable for students to see the process that goes into creating a piece of work, not just the finished script or performance.”</p><p class="">Alongside items from the archive, the exhibition in Penryn Campus Library is screening the trailer for the Nick Darke documentary ‘Atlas Pool’ by Jane Darke and Andrew Tebbs. </p><p class="">The film features testimonials from Nick Darke’s former colleagues which sum up the essence of his archive. </p><p class="">“While I was with Nick, the adage that all writing is autobiographical is true. That is to say that the person and the work are always indivisible.” </p><p class="">“His writing was honest, humane, imaginative, funny, stubborn, and full of a wilful determination to leave the world a better place than he found it.”</p>





















  
  






  <p class="">Enquiries can also be made to see the archive itself by emailing <a href="mailto:archives@fxplus.ac.uk">archives@fxplus.ac.uk</a> or calling 01326 255738. </p><p class="">&nbsp;</p><p class=""><em>Article by Danielle Hutchinson.</em></p><p class=""><em>Photographs by Ciaran Doherty, Danielle Hutchinson, and the Centre for Blended Realities. </em></p><p class=""><em>The trailer for ‘Atlas Pool’ by Jane Darke and Andrew Tebbs can be viewed here: </em><a href="https://www.janedarke.co.uk/boatshed-films-ltd/"><em>https://www.janedarke.co.uk/boatshed-films-ltd/</em></a><em> </em></p>]]></description><media:content height="1000" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1758882931840-K7QF7X5Q6PSQIGF6233I/1.+Nick+Darke+%28C+Doherty%29.JPG?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">Celebrating Nick Darke: His Life, Work and Legacy</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>First-Year Reading Lists Sept 2025</title><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 04 Aug 2025 13:11:23 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/8/4/first-year-reading-lists-sept-2025</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:6890b17932ec426d41d53638</guid><description><![CDATA[<figure class="
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  <p class=""><strong>First-Year Reading Lists</strong>&nbsp;</p><p class="">As we’ve had a few inquiries about our first-year reading list, we thought we’d make a post addressing it. First, we believe that, in the current economic climate, we should keep the costs to you to a minimum, so we have arranged to be able to pay for and provide the majority of your readings across the degree. You’ll incur as few extra costs as possible.&nbsp;</p><p class="">Our Creative Writing and English and Creative Writing Degrees have a shared first year, so all students take the same six modules across the year.&nbsp;</p><p class="">For the 25/26 year we’re kicking off reading week with exercises and discussion based on Tim Hannigan’s tour through contemporary and historical Cornwall, <em>Granite Kingdom</em> (£10-£15 est.), as well as a chat with the author. You are encouraged to purchase and read this in advance so that you can get as much from these sessions as possible.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="">And then:&nbsp;</p><p class="">In <span>Study Block One</span>, you’ll take:&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>WRJ130 Writing: Craft &amp; Contexts</strong>&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">All readings for this module are paid for and provided by the course. You’ll look at examples of short and contemporary fiction, non-fiction, poetry, scripts, and theory, and then produce your own of contemporary writing.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p></li></ul><p class=""><strong>WRJ120 Publishing Cultures</strong>&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">All readings for this module are paid for and provided by the course. This is module considers multiple forms of production, publication, and dissemination, as well as ideas like taste, cultural value, image, gaze, and spectacle.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p></li></ul><p class=""><strong>WRJ110 Exploding the Canon: Writing Then &amp; Now</strong>&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">The Compulsory Purchases for this module are:&nbsp;</p></li></ul><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">Beloved - Toni Morrison 					£10 (est.)&nbsp;</p></li></ul><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">The Lesser Bohemians - Eimear McBride			£7 (est)&nbsp;</p></li></ul><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">Heartstoppers Vol 1 (graphic novel). - Alice Oseman	£6 (est)&nbsp;</p></li></ul><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">All other readings for this module are paid for and provided by the course, and might include fairy tales, nature writing, neo-Victorianism, or gods and myths.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;</p></li></ul><p class="">In <span>Study Block Two</span><strong>,</strong> you’ll take:&nbsp;</p><p class=""><strong>WRJ140</strong> <strong>Breaking the Rules: Remix and Writing Back</strong>&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">All readings for this module are paid for and provided by the course. You will be writing about, back to, and from texts of all kinds. This includes reversionary writing, collage, reviewing, adaptation, pastiche, parody, and critical responses.&nbsp;</p></li></ul><p class=""><strong>WRJ150 Literatures of Revolution</strong>&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">All readings for this module are paid for and provided by the course. This module tracks revolutions in society and the texts that both depict and affect them, including subjects such as political overthrow, civil rights, gender, and sexuality, and the industrial, scientific, or digital revolutions. Texts may include <em>Hamilton, Les Mis, Batman, Frankenstein, </em>or others.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p></li></ul><p class=""><strong>WRJ160 Publishing Studio: Technologizing the Word</strong>&nbsp;</p><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="">All readings and trainings for this module are paid for and provided by the course. This is a practical, hands-on module that sees your training in your choice of things like a lead-type printer, a risoprinter, InDesign, audio recording and broadcasting equipment, creative events, or interactive fiction.&nbsp;</p></li></ul><p class="">Our course has few things you must purchase, and nothing you have to read ahead of time, although you’re welcome to get started on the compulsory purchases if you’d like. Our reading assignments are designed to be a reasonable amount for week-to-week progression through the module.&nbsp;</p><p class="">&nbsp;Please let us know if you have any questions! You can contact us either through Unibuddy or contact the course leader directly at Adrian.Markle@falmouth.ac.uk </p><p class="">We’re looking forward to seeing you in September.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>]]></description><media:content height="560" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1754313327876-KV6VPRN9V0HJEPLF0MDH/falmouth_sign_falmouth_campus.jpg?format=1500w" width="720"><media:title type="plain">First-Year Reading Lists Sept 2025</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>The Treachery of Love</title><category>student work</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/5/9/the-treachery-of-love</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:681c7db177c29e59da490ce7</guid><description><![CDATA[<figure class="
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            <p class="">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@jontyson?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Jon Tyson</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/love-text-under-green-and-red-paper-DexK1wkZ-oM?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
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  <p class="">All love is but a treachery,<br>A sword thrust in the heart.<br>The warmth and glow when in the throes,<br>Does all too soon depart.<br>Despite the blatant wickedness, <br>and wounds within love sears,<br>I know I shall be tricked again,<br>And reaffirm my fears.</p><p class="">Written by Annaliese Crocker</p>]]></description><media:content height="2000" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/jpeg" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1746697804718-9X9NBV23JU8WUVZ0JO9X/jon-tyson-DexK1wkZ-oM-unsplash.jpg?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">The Treachery of Love</media:title></media:content></item><item><title>Prussia Cove in Photographs</title><category>student work</category><dc:creator>FalWriting Team</dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 26 Mar 2025 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate><link>https://falwriting.com/new-blog/2025/3/26/prussia-cove-in-photographs</link><guid isPermaLink="false">5838a24729687f08e0321a15:5838a7eae4fcb5b7cf2bf1a3:67e268e3bf5301713cdc0266</guid><description><![CDATA[<p class="">Images &amp; Text by Danielle Hutchinson</p>





















  
  






  

  



  
    
      

        
          
            
              
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  <p class="">The Prussia Cove residential trip is a highly-anticipated rite of passage for third-year writing students.</p><p class="">As a keen photographer, when my turn came, I wanted to capture the weekend with my camera. From sharing stories around a beach bonfire, to uncovering relics of the coastline’s shipwrecking history, there were plenty of interesting experiences to document.</p><p class="">Initially, this was just going to be presented as a pure photo essay, sticking to my photojournalism roots. However, the words were flowing at Prussia Cove and it would almost be criminal not to incorporate writing of some description.</p><p class="">So, I succumbed to the words and crafted a poem to flow across the nineteen photographs, aiming to give a sense of the experience and create a narrative of the weekend.</p><p class="">The idea was to evoke the feeling of a scrapbook, by styling the text as handwritten notes across the photographs. I shaped the words along the contours of the subjects, following the line of a branch or wave to unify the written and visual elements.</p><p class="">In a world of airbrushing and social media filters, I wanted the photographs to be authentic and showcase the skills that went into taking them. Asides from a slight crop or rotation of a handful of photographs, they remain true to what was captured on camera, giving a genuine experience of seeing the weekend through my eyes – or my lens.</p>]]></description><media:content height="2250" isDefault="true" medium="image" type="image/png" url="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5838a24729687f08e0321a15/1742895757194-KYSXO7PRSQ6R9HMRK5RN/01.+Prussia+Cove+title.png?format=1500w" width="1500"><media:title type="plain">Prussia Cove in Photographs</media:title></media:content></item></channel></rss>