Newslined

No longer

2008-03-26T14:45:00.004-05:00

Please peruse the archives. This blog was fun while it lasted.I try to keep http://www.thechaserblog.com up to date, but get lazy. Sue me.

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-11T13:25:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone has a great and wonderful holiday season. My ass is going to be traveling and running after this little scrappy fucker, so your prayers are welcome.Whether it is 8 crazy nights of spinning tops and hating Jesus, a week of black pride, celebrating someone's birthday 4 months too early, or you just love free shit, have a great one!Now give me presents damnit!

Oprah should run...

2007-12-10T16:56:00.000-06:00

[she totally outshines his ass every time]So Oprah and Obama have been running the circuit lately, but honestly, every time they go anywhere together she outdoes him 10 fold.Oprah, when are YOU going to run? Cause that's the day the parties would actually combine, all those Republican housewives would beat anyone's ass who denounced the O.

Hairdresser foils bank robbery

2007-12-06T11:33:00.000-06:00

[she gonna fight her some crime after a few highlights and a trim]A hairdresser in Berlin found secret bank plans and security measures in a trashcan and got suspicious so turned them in.I wanna know what honey was doin dumpster diving? Blow and go in dark smelly places?

Attack of the Blogs

2007-05-31T11:46:00.001-05:00

There is some funny shit out there.Take this, Overheard From New York: Hell Is Other People with No Style Jesus-freak: ... And let it be known that if you disobey the holy book and God's laws, you are eternally damned.Queer: So, what happens to me if I'm gay?Jesus-freak: You're going to Hell in a hand basket!Queer: Well, that hand basket better be

Melinda finally cuts the act

2007-05-23T11:06:00.000-05:00

American Idol totally sucked ass last night, but the best part was Melinda's face while Jordin was performing.She looks like someone took a dump on her birthday cake.If I was Jordin I'd be careful, now that she lost when everyone thought she was gonna win it, I wouldn't be surprised if she started feeding on babies and ripping the heads off people who have necks.

Mary Jane Slutson?

2007-05-17T17:27:00.000-05:00

So this Mary Jane statue (that's Spider Man's WIFE, not girlfriend major media peoples!) washing Spidey's costume while exposing her thong and boobalas, has gotten a lot of grief from the fan girl community.My opinion? I don't think it should've evoked the hype it has, I mean sure it is a bit tacky, but being an avid Spider Man reader for years and years, I could actually see Mary Jane doing

Look, we just don't like you...

2007-05-17T15:52:00.000-05:00

Attorney General Gonzales is not feelin' the love on Capitol Hill right now, even the Republicans are telling his ass to go.Seriously dude, the more you lie your way outta stuff, the more dirt they have on you.My advice would be to get out of town, ASAP. Kenneth Lay knew too much and he magically had a "heart attack" like a day after he was convicted. They have ways, you know.Don't get too deep

Outsourcing to India not only problem with Dell

2007-05-17T10:47:00.000-05:00

[he's waiting for you to start eating dinner]Dell is being sued by the state of New York for bad business practices. The leading computer manufacturers are bullying customers and screwing their finances up, as well as not holding to promises of quick service and disconnecting their calls when attempting to get support.Man this is some shady shit. I hate it when you call customer service and you

High Schools, Colleges, Post Offices... Nursery Schools?

2007-05-16T17:23:00.000-05:00

A baby in Illinois is licensed to carry a firearm. Apparently the little tykes father thought it needed a license to carry a weapon, so he registered his 10 month old, with its REAL birthday, and the state granted the license!!Next thing you know, the Catholic Church suddenly admits bullet proof vests as part of the uniform.Not to mention the upstage in urban armed robbery, damn moochers, they

Hell +1

2007-05-15T16:43:00.000-05:00

[Jerry Falwell 1933 - 2007]Jerry Falwell just kicked it.He was found "unresponsive" this morning and was rushed to the hospital but died around noon.This is what happens when you eat 10 cheeseburgers, a pound of fries, 2 babies and a nilla wafer for every meal.The man hated happiness and children. And after spewing all his speeches about fire and brimstone and hell, he finally gets to see what it

3 bed, 2 bath, fireplace, two car garage... dead body...

2007-05-15T16:27:00.000-05:00

[im so embarrassed, the camera totally adds like 10 pounds!]So there is a rash of stories about dead bodies being found in homes after rotting alone from a couple months to years.This woman in Wisconsin was found by the realtor a bit ago when showing the house, and just recently a body was found in a house that had been there for 6 years!The bank repoed it and sold it in an auction, without

His peen still works!

2007-05-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

A 95% disabled man got drunk and mouth drove his motor bed the wrong way when attempting a trip to a brothel.Just read that sentence a couple times. Yes. It's pretty obvious which percent of his body is still working, and I'm guessing it's not his big toe.

Do This or Die

2007-05-11T16:39:00.000-05:00

Take my blog reader survey!Bitches... you must do it... it beckons you... feel it calling your name... avoid the axe and take my damn survey!

A Blast From The Past

2007-05-11T11:15:00.000-05:00

I was pointed to this interesting archived story from the New York Post. MIDGET-CASE JURY HEARS SHORT STORY New York Post April 19, 2005 -- He should have picked on someone his own size. The midget mother and daughter who were allegedly terrorized by their neighbor stood tall yesterday as they faced the grand jury to testify against him. Neither 3-foot-8 Debra Shea nor her 3-foot-6

Douche Bags In Rush For White House

2007-05-11T10:16:00.000-05:00

[His "I hope you die in a car crash" smile]Rudolph Guiliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney, and whatever else whacked out Republican asshole that's running are slashin each others throats so fast my head is spinning.The one thing I don't understand is that John McCain was the "progressive" to GW's "conservative" yet now he's the one pandering to the right and calling Rudy out on shit like abortion

Gimps McGee Rides Again!

2007-05-09T15:08:00.000-05:00

So this dude with no arms and one leg is a habitual law breaker. He apparently is an amazing driver (yes an amazing driver with no limbs cept a weeny winky and a stubby leg) yet continues to say Fuck You to the establishment by breaking all kindsa traffic codes and laws.His license has been suspended and he is so bad that it is a felony for him to get behind the wheel.So a copper sees his ass and

Black Peoples Is Crazy!

2007-05-09T14:21:00.000-05:00

So this new "tastey" snack that has been getting much press is a pickle soaked in Kool-Aid.Just focus on that image for a second. Seriously. That is the nastiest shit I have ever heard in my life.First of all, people who eat giant ass pickles as snacks are retarded, secondly they annoy the hell out of me with that god awful aroma that pours off of those things in a movie theater. My Mom freaks

Must Love Dogs...

2007-05-09T10:29:00.000-05:00

As I showed yesterday, dogs are awesomeness incarnate. They are seriously the world's greatest creatures and if I had my way we would have more puppies and less douches and snot nosed little shit children running around.Here is a Rottweiler who has taken it upon herself to rear these two lamb babies because their mom was a bitch. How fucking cool is that? She kept them warm and licked them

And they called it puppy love...

2007-05-08T14:29:00.000-05:00

In Africa a flood hit this village and all the animals had to fend for themselves, so surprising to the villagers an awesome puppy doggy and a monkey, named Billy and Kiko, bonded and have been inseperable since.They make awesome friends. You know that monkey is thinking, "haha bitches I got my own horse to ride... and he'll bite your ass if you fuck with me..." while the dog thinks, "two words

The Reason I Hate Going To The Beach

2007-05-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

What is the reason I hate going to the beach? Sand.It gets in your shoes... your car... your mouth... your asshole. Seriously anything that causes the symptoms of an STD (itching, burning, never can quite get rid of it all) without the fun of sex is nothing to be desired.Thus the reason Spiderman 3 just didn't quite make it over the very tall skyscraper of scrutiny it swings from.The movie was

This ho is crazy

2007-04-30T14:52:00.000-05:00

Seriously this bitch is unbelievable. I bet she eats a mean beave with that giant mouth.

Cheney faces suicide birding...

2007-04-13T15:50:00.000-05:00

A bird struck Air Force 2, and Dick wasn't even informed until after his speaking engagement. The birds are already planning more attacks including a swarm of kawing and screeching by thousands of black birds outside the White House, as well as a few fly by poopings during Rose Garden Press Conferences.Cheney and his muff lovin daughter also made a stop for one of the grandkids. I like how the

T.V. Time

2007-04-12T13:37:00.000-05:00

Oh it's that time again! Another week of television has passed, and faithful t.v. consumer, Ry, is here to document the ups and downs.America's Next Top ModelRene is nice again for some unknown reason. The models stopped acting like Bitches, and they are starting to get along. Doesn't Tyra know this makes for BORING television? The photo shoot had former contestants on Top Model pose with the

Katie Couric is a stealing, thieving, lying liar

2007-04-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

[her pants are totally on fire]So Katie Couric got caught red handed being the sneaky plagiarist she is. She did this video essay on Libraries and stuff, but the piece was almost word for word stolen from the Wall Street Journal.Apparently the producer who "stole" was fired, but never named. Either way she looks bad cause if she did it, not the producer, she is a filthy dirty liar.If she didn't