Nickelback Jokes

Was that nickelback or nickel bag?

2014-07-08T10:27:00.001-07:00

Really?

Nickelback have taken their fair share of abuse from music fans over the years, but apparently uttering the word “Nickelback” in public is now a punishable offense, as two men in Idaho recently found out. After Idaho police apparently mistook the word “Nickelback” for “nickel sack,” the two young men were given the business, one even being handcuffed and detained by police.

To be fair, we can’t confirm that the guys in this video weren’t selling weed, but who the hell has ever used the term “nickel sack”? “Nickel bag” maybe… but that’s beside the point.

In a video posted by one of the passengers stopped by police, you’re given a birds-eye view of the incident. One officer claims to have heard the words, “Yeah, nickel sack, for sure.” The man shooting the video retorts, “No, Nickelback. That guy was blaring Nickelback.” The individual holding the camera invites the policemen to check the car for weed multiple times, but in this video, we never see it happen. Police do, however, ask the driver why he has hundreds of dollars of cash with him. The youth explains that he just got paid from a legitimate job, offering his recent pay stub as proof.

A light verbal tiff is exchanged, but at around the 3:13 mark, the clip gets a little scary. One of the youths in the vehicle can be heard yelling, “Woah, woah dude, woah. Why are you pulling your gun out? Why are you pulling you gun out?” Right after, the man in the passenger seat is ordered out of the car, handcuffed and detained.

The “Nickelback” vs. “nickel sack” argument continues, with police calling the “Nickelback” defense a “bulls–t story” while calling the cuffed individual an “a–hole.” Check out the video for yourself above.

And Nickelback takes the lead!!

2013-10-11T05:03:00.002-07:00

Nickelbean

2013-08-29T07:25:00.003-07:00

Forwarded to me by my Mom!! Thanks Moma!

Anything "Bean" just never gets old

Nickelback more popular than Congress! Hurray!

2013-02-27T04:53:00.001-08:00

Safety First Kids!

2013-02-26T04:57:00.006-08:00

When engaging in any type of hazardous activity, like a crazy night of S & M, always use a safety word. That word should always be "Nickelback" as no one in their right mind would use that word unless under duress!

Pic grabbed from torontosun.com ;-)

Rocksmith's New DLC - Not well received =-o

2012-12-11T12:13:00.001-08:00

The Unknown Origins of Nickelback

2012-11-16T10:20:00.001-08:00

Got an email this morning from a new fan Ollie Ox. Thanks for the compliments Ollie! Ollie had his own take on Nickelback and I feel it is only appropriate to share it here. For the original article, please visit Ollie's site here: http://ollieoxxx.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/nickelback-behind-the-music/ or http://ollieox.net

Nickelback, Behind the Music.

Nickleback is a Canadian rock band hailing from Hanna, Alberta. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Hanna, Alberta, it’s a desolate stretch of unforgiving frozen tundra covered in a dense icepack for 11 months out of the year. It is prohibitively cold there and makes it almost impossible to perform any activity requiring fine motor skills such as knitting, painting, or practicing guitar.
Since the town is a bitter cold wasteland for much of the year there isn’t much to do in Hanna besides huff gasoline in the garage, drink grain alcohol and punch your wife and kids. The townsfolk often spend their evenings trading pills and enjoying the warmth inside the Gas & Go Convenient Mart located in the town center. These gatherings are punctuated by the occasional fist fight where someone is usually slammed into the Slush Puppy™ machine and Karyn the bull dyke station clerk with the flapjack tits has to draw her shotgun, cocking it once to quell the skirmish. But, however cold and tortuous the elements are throughout the 11 month winters here, around late August the temperatures slowly rise and the snow cover gradually recedes back into the shadows and the citizens of Hanna no longer have to huddle at the Gas & Go for warmth; feeling soon returns to their frozen extremities. It is in this very short window of opportunity where Chad Kroeger, Ryan Peake, Mike Kroeger and Ryan Vikedal would meet and eventually come to reshape the course of modern rock music.

Just prior to the band’s formation in 1995 , lead singer Chad Kroeger was working part time on his dad’s cattle ranch where he was responsible for thawing the frozen udders of each cow using his own body heat in order to extract the sow’s icy milk. It was here he learned the value of hot air and would use his own breath and glove-warmed hands to gently thaw the teats of the mother cows as they slept in the frigid morning air. His brother, Mike Kroeger, did not produce as much hot air as his older brother Chad and therefor he was tasked with shoveling manure into and out of his dad’s shed. He would soon rise to become the band’s superstar bass player.
Ryan Vikedal, the band’s soon to be megastar drummer, was working as a mechanic for Karyn the bull dyke clerk with the floppy frisbee tits. He was kind of a hard worker and although not formally trained as a mechanic, more often than not he could fix the problem by repeatedly hitting the automobile undercarriage or engine with a wrench.
Ryan Peake, the band’s “second Ryan” and virtuoso backing vocalist was working 75hr work weeks at the local Sam’s Club. He’d often spend a majority of his time perched high atop the large shelving units proactively trying to spot people shoplifting. His manager would often reprimand Ryan stating that the store already had over 27 manned cctv security cameras installed already and that it’d be more helpful if he’d “go wrangle in some carts from the parking lot”. This became a sore subject between the two and eventually Ryan was made to stand at the entrance for the duration of his shift and blow up the large 30inch SAM’S balloons for the children. Ryan would come develop a very powerful set of lungs as a result and till this day he rarely uses a mic when performing backing vocals in large venues.

Because of the harsh environment where the band was formed, they only had one solid month out of the year to practice their respective instruments. Everyday the band mates would gather at around 5pm in Mike’s father’s manure shed and would practice all the way until 7 or 8 sometime’s 9pm, skipping dinner entirely! At first the band showed no promise, most practice sessions were interrupted by Ryan #2′s girlfriend bitching about something or one of the townsfolk beating on the shed door pleading that they had what it took to be in the band as well. At one point in late 1993 there were upwards of 16 people in the Nickelback super-band when Chad finally put his foot down deciding to cut the roster back down to the original 4, eliminating the woodwind section and the 3 extra drummers.

“…ya know it got to a point where the shed couldn’t physically hold all of us, when my dad found we had shoveled out some of the shit to make room for the others he threatened to break our instruments. Manure is money he said” -Chad Kroeger

Several years would pass performing to crowds of 10 – 20 in the mechanic’s garage at the Gas & Go. Karyn, the bull dyke clerk with the orangutan boobs that start at her shoulder blades would charge the towns people 5¢ admission to see them play. Without fail, by mid-set most residents would clamor for a refund stating they wanted their nickel back. Among the deer knives and brass knuckles, the mob was often silenced by Karyn the bull dyke clerk with the saggy tortilla titties, as she fired buckshot into the ceiling of the garage, yelling: “Settle down or nobody’s getting their fuckin’ nickel back!” And the name stuck. This scene would play out for several years until the band was finally noticed by talent scout Ron Burman, the bass player’s uncle. Burman would eventually come to perform a wide range of favors and ‘under the table’ deals with high-powered radio brokers that would soon thrust his hot product into the spotlight. Enter Nickelback.
Fast forward to the late summer of 1995, where Chad Kroeger had freshly penned the remarkably resilient hit single “This is How You Remind Me” which to everyone’s suprise soared to the top of both American and Canadian Billboard charts for rock. A personal, angst-filled masterpiece that opens with “never made it as a wise man”, a lyric modified from the original: “warmin up a teat with my hand” in favor of a more marketable rock band image.
Currently Nickelback is one of the most commercially successful Canadian groups in recorded history, having sold like, 50 billion albums worldwide. Their music can be heard echoing off the manilla wafer-colored walls of every TJMaxx and Chili’s restaurant in the country. At present the band continues to tour; yelling, sweating and making sounds in front of curiously large crowds all across the world.

Chad Chad Avril Avril

2012-10-30T08:36:00.001-07:00

Rocker Chad Kroeger has taken aim at his fiancee Avril Lavigne’s ex-husband Deryck Whibley after the Sum 41 star and his model girlfriend mocked the newly-engaged pair by dressing up as them for a Halloween party.

Whibley donned drag and wore a blonde wig with colored streaks and heavy eye make-up to attend the Saturday night bash as Lavigne, while his girlfriend, Ari Cooper, showed off a long, curly hairpiece and a fake beard to mimic the Nickelback frontman's look.

The stunt didn't go unnoticed by Kroeger and he took to his Twitter.com blog on Sunday to take a jab at Whibley.

"Hey Deryck loved the costumes! we were going to dress up as you guys this year but all the parties had celebrity themes haha! -CK"

— Nickelback (@Nickelback) October 28, 2012

Lavigne split from Whibley in 2009 and she became engaged to Kroeger earlier this year after a whirlwind romance.

Source: http://m.en.canoe.ca/Music/2012/10/29/20314866-wenn.html

Google is getting in on the action now!

2012-09-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

Page not Found

2012-09-17T11:52:00.002-07:00

Thought it was time we got in on the jokes:

How to Tell Friends You Like Nickelback

2012-09-14T12:14:00.002-07:00

I know this video was done almost a year ago, but I had to share. I laughed, I really did!

Thanks Mr. Forthright!!!

Nickelback haters attack George Costanza!

2012-09-14T08:55:00.001-07:00

Jason Alexander, famous for his character George Costanza appearing in the ever popular comedy series Seinfeld, participates in Nickelback's latest music video Trying not to Love You. Apparently his collaboration earned him a place among the Nickelback Haters as he gets attacked on Twitter even though he is trying to attract Baywatch beauty Brook Burns!!

And for all the haters, here is said music video, lol! Enjoy!!

How to Listen to Nickelback: A Guide

2012-09-11T07:20:00.002-07:00

Torture just got serious (Click pic to enlarge)

2012-08-30T05:24:00.002-07:00

If Chad can find love...

2012-08-24T04:25:00.001-07:00

From a Nickelback Jokes Fan!!

2012-08-23T08:50:00.002-07:00

I took my car to the shop the other day, cause it was making a terrible noise.... turns out it was just Nickelback on the radio.

Thanks Greg!!!

Chad + Avril = Chavril!!

2012-08-23T08:36:00.003-07:00

The Turds of Misery

2012-07-26T12:28:00.000-07:00

Meanwhile at the Pizza Hut

2012-06-25T04:46:00.000-07:00

Seriously

2012-05-24T05:44:00.001-07:00

There's your problem...

2012-05-17T11:36:00.001-07:00

Bad hair day for Joey

2012-05-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah!!

2012-05-15T04:35:00.001-07:00

Don't Judge Me!!

2012-05-14T05:43:00.002-07:00

Will the real Dave Grohl please stand up

2012-05-09T05:00:00.002-07:00